EXCLUSIVE: Guy’s Transformational Golden Journey

00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, welcome back to Bechler Happy Hour.

00:00:03
Speaker 2: I'm Joe and I'm Serena and we are here.

00:00:06
Speaker 1: With the Golden Bachelorette runner up. Guy. Welcome, Welcome to Bechler Happy Hour. How are you.

00:00:13
Speaker 3: I'm doing great. Thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to this.

00:00:16
Speaker 1: Actually nice.

00:00:18
Speaker 2: We're happy to do you.

00:00:20
Speaker 1: What exactly are you looking forward to?

00:00:22
Speaker 4: I you know, I guess it's because I've watched some of these podcasts before and I just thought it would be an enjoyable experience to be able to tell my my my side of the story from what I experienced that it's a little different than some of the other men.

00:00:38
Speaker 1: Well, you're wrong, because we're going to grill you now. It's gonna be uh yeah, it's gonna be fun. So let's uh, let's get into your the beginning of your journey. How did you wind up going on a show like this?

00:00:53
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I had somebody reach out to me on social media who thought that i'd be my profile or that I would be a great candidate to be on a reality TV show called The Golden Battlorette.

00:01:06
Speaker 1: What were you What are you posting on social media that you think got her attention.

00:01:12
Speaker 4: It had I think it had pictures of me and my real life what I do on a regular basis, So I tend to put I don't.

00:01:21
Speaker 3: I don't post a lot, but it's.

00:01:23
Speaker 4: Usually thinks that that represent me, whether I'm riding my bike in the Swiss Alps, or whether I'm riding my bikes on the cobbles Belgium, whether I'm ice climbing in Alaska or sea or sea kayaking, and Prince William sound so I I and then then also post things with my kids because they did a lot of those things with me.

00:01:48
Speaker 1: Have you always been like an adventurous guy.

00:01:52
Speaker 4: I'd say, I'd say the answer the answer is yes. You know, back in a former life of mind, I run over ten marathons. I did a Canadian Iron Man, I did multiple triathlons during a certain phase. I eventually then progressed to road biking, and I did. I absolutely loved road biking, and that's why I went to France six times to ride stages and watch the Tour de France.

00:02:21
Speaker 3: I watched as your Vittalia. I went to.

00:02:24
Speaker 4: Belgium to ride whether it's called the Spring Classics. Those are some of the things I did back in the day. I did other things also, but those were kind of.

00:02:35
Speaker 1: I was not I was, okay, wow, all right. I wasn't expecting this. This is this is good. This is how old? What did you do first? Did you do a marathon first?

00:02:45
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:02:45
Speaker 4: The very first marathon I ever did was in New York City Marathon. It was my fourth year in medical school. I was doing in rotation in Philadelphia and on a whim. After staying up till two o'clock for Halloween, I got a four hour sleep. I took a train from Philly to New York. I had no idea what I was doing, but I brought running stuff with me. I thought I'd run five miles. I made my way down to the Brizona and Narras Bridge. I jumped in to run five miles, which turned into ten, which turned into fifteen, and then I finally said, you know what, let me see how far I can go.

00:03:20
Speaker 3: I ended up running the whole thing.

00:03:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, So that was how old were you?

00:03:24
Speaker 3: I was twenty seven years old at the time.

00:03:27
Speaker 1: Do you have do you have, like, what's your best score to date?

00:03:32
Speaker 4: You mean my how fast Ian marathon? Yeah?

00:03:36
Speaker 3: My best was a three twenty seven.

00:03:39
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:03:39
Speaker 3: Wow, Yeah, that was the Callander National.

00:03:42
Speaker 1: I ran my first. I ran my first one. Last year I did it. I did it three fifty eight, and then I was planning I run it this year. I wanted to break I wanted to break three forty. But then I got sick and I just I had the flu and I couldn't run out.

00:03:56
Speaker 4: Yeah. I had so many times where I thought, I mean, I thought I was going to run three tip teens and things like that.

00:04:01
Speaker 3: But all best made plans always come to an end.

00:04:04
Speaker 1: And you and you ran, and you've done an iron Man.

00:04:08
Speaker 3: I did.

00:04:08
Speaker 4: I did the Canadian Iron Man in nineteen ninety nineteen ninety five. I had gotten to do in triathlons, and I knew I could run. I knew I could get through a bike even though it's one hundred and twelve miles, and I'd run marathons. And hard part was could I swim two point four miles?

00:04:28
Speaker 3: So I got up.

00:04:30
Speaker 4: I got up one morning on a Saturday morning, I went down to the indoor pool, I put my wetsuit on, I jumped in the pool and I swam two and.

00:04:40
Speaker 3: A half miles without stopping.

00:04:42
Speaker 4: And at the end of it, I said, you know what, I can do the swim part now, because swimming, you know, you can't just stop.

00:04:48
Speaker 3: If you stop, you drowned.

00:04:50
Speaker 4: So I did that. So and that's when I decided to do it. In a group of friends that mine from Rita. We all decided to go up and do the Canadadian Iron Man.

00:05:01
Speaker 2: Where's the Canadian Iron Man?

00:05:03
Speaker 4: They've changed locations, but at the time I did it, it was in Penticton, which is just north of Spokane, Washington.

00:05:11
Speaker 1: Okay, what is okay?

00:05:13
Speaker 5: This is do you have I was just gonna say, do you have a favorite one that you've done? Out of all the marathons, triathlons, everything, is the one that stands out to you?

00:05:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, no question. For me, it's the New York City Marathon.

00:05:26
Speaker 4: I did it three times, and I guess the reason I liked I love New York was is the amount of energy that it was there.

00:05:34
Speaker 3: It was the largest and I love that you ran through all.

00:05:37
Speaker 4: Five boroughs, so you got to experience this, the music, the culture, the smells. There was over a million people on the streets. And so you've run from you know, Brooklyn and they're the reggae music playing to getting into Queens and then have Bruce Springsteen on, you know, and it's just in different areas.

00:06:01
Speaker 3: It just had this different feel.

00:06:02
Speaker 4: And flavor and it was just and the sport is off the charts, the numbre people that are there supporting you all the way and so and I ended up doing I ran the New York three times.

00:06:15
Speaker 1: Nice. Okay, so let's go. Let's go to the show. You you're an adventurous guy. Did you ever think that you would do something like going on The Bachelor?

00:06:29
Speaker 3: I had. I'd never even heard of it, actually, so.

00:06:32
Speaker 1: You've never heard of that. You never heard of the show in general.

00:06:35
Speaker 3: I'd never seen an episode.

00:06:37
Speaker 4: I knew that there was a show, and what I knew about it was, oh, this is a show where the young kids get together and if you get a rose, that's a good thing.

00:06:47
Speaker 3: If you don't get the rose, that's a bad thing.

00:06:50
Speaker 4: And at the end, the the young kids hook up, like I don't know, you keep further long ago, the better it is, right, you know.

00:07:03
Speaker 5: So when they reached out to you about the potential to go on the show, what was your initial.

00:07:08
Speaker 3: Reaction My initially honest initial reaction, Yeah, you're honest. My honest initial.

00:07:16
Speaker 4: Reaction was when I got reached out, I thought it was BS.

00:07:20
Speaker 3: I thought the person was just trying to scam me.

00:07:23
Speaker 4: Then I watched four episodes of The Golden Bachelor, and I said, oh my gosh, this is the silliest thing I've ever seen.

00:07:31
Speaker 3: I am not going to do this. However, a lot.

00:07:35
Speaker 4: Of things changed in my life, and I call this just a transformational journey for me. And that's over the last ten months now, and you know, I started to developing a really good relationship with my kids. I decided back in April, before I even was accepted, that I was going to hang up my stethoscope because I'm an er physician and I'd worked thirty five years in the same play and I had done everything I wanted to do as.

00:08:03
Speaker 3: A medical director. I was the chiefest staff of the hospital.

00:08:05
Speaker 4: I was an er doctor by trade, and I was turning sixty six, and I just thought it's time for me to step aside, and I wanted to go out.

00:08:17
Speaker 3: With game. I had a lot of times, a.

00:08:19
Speaker 4: Lot of athletes or whatever, they stick around one year or too many, and I wanted people to still respect me from what I did, so I decided to hang it up, and then eventually I started getting happier and happier in my life. And that's when I got the call, and I still was one hundred percent sure, and I said, you know what, I'm going to do this, you know, not really knowing what it was all about, but I thought it'd be a great experience to see what it was like behind the scenes.

00:08:50
Speaker 3: I had no expectations going into the show.

00:08:53
Speaker 1: When you when you were when you watched the four episodes of The Golden Bachelor, did any of the women stand out to you?

00:09:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's interesting because when they were telling me they're going to announce the big reveal, I had watched it and the all the women I thought were lovely. But the person who stood out and I said, in my mind, I said, it's got to be her, or they got to pick somebody new, and that that her was Joan.

00:09:24
Speaker 1: Okay, so you let's go to you stepping out of the limo and seeing Joan in person for the first time. What's going through your mind? Okay, are you handling the situation? Are you a nervous wreck?

00:09:38
Speaker 4: I I was nervous, but you know, surprisingly I never got really nervous during any of the filming, even the other night with the Live Live, which I thought i'd be off the charts nervous about that. I really wasn't. But I can tell you getting out of the limousine, I was nervous, mostly because I had already planned on what I going to say. I had written a poem and I was going to just say it to her.

00:10:04
Speaker 1: You don't. You don't recite a poem, correct.

00:10:07
Speaker 3: I don't, And I just did.

00:10:09
Speaker 4: I did a thing where I just sprayed different colognes on and she had to pick the ones she liked.

00:10:15
Speaker 2: We really liked your entrance. I forgot that.

00:10:18
Speaker 1: I don't know about I don't know about what. I really liked your entrance because yeah, when we when we when you came out, I remember Serena and I were like, they have chemistry there, there's there's there's there's something there, and you were.

00:10:32
Speaker 2: Very smooth with your delivery.

00:10:34
Speaker 5: And yeah, it was definitely it was a standout for us.

00:10:37
Speaker 4: It was fun, it went, It went really well as well as you could consider her.

00:10:42
Speaker 3: I was. I was ad libbing everything.

00:10:45
Speaker 4: But I think the idea that using old factory assent to try to because I was trying to get her to remember me right that yet you only had a short period of time, like she needs to remember me, what can I do? And I thought she might find this cute that oh he smelled really good.

00:11:03
Speaker 3: Now I'm going to remember him. And I wore I wore the same the same clone the whole time I was there.

00:11:09
Speaker 1: Though, When you walked away from her, did you did you feel good about your meeting with her?

00:11:17
Speaker 3: I did feel good.

00:11:20
Speaker 4: I almost heard in the back of my head I was walking away and I saw it later she said, oh, he's handsome, which I thought was like, okay, that was that's positive, you know. And she smiled really big when I got out of the limos. So those were two like positive things. But she may have done that with every man.

00:11:48
Speaker 5: Going into that first rose ceremony. How did you feel? Were you nervous or were you feeling confident?

00:11:55
Speaker 4: I was nervous every single rose ceremony. I just didn't know what she was really looking for. I didn't know how the process worked. I was crazy nervous. I can just tell you at the end of the first rose cermony, I got emotional. I will say that the reason I got emotional. Was a culmination of many things. We got to see our family members and specifically my daughter McKenzie spoke to me on the TV screen. Every guy broke down, concluding myself, and then I got the rose, the fourth out of this eighteen roses. So I was secure very early on, but it gave me time to reflect. And in this ros cermony it goes a long time. And I started just feeling this overwhelming sense of acceptance and it really got me emotional. And then I realized that some of the guys that I'd been close with even short period of time, they were going home. And you put all that together, and all of a sudden, my eyes start welling up. I said, guy, don't do it, I said, I said, And so I opened my eyes as wide as I could. I started blinking, you know, I said, just think about something else, and it just got worse. My sin sar chin starred chip shivering and quivering, and all of a sudden, I just felt tear come.

00:13:13
Speaker 3: Down, and I thought, oh god it.

00:13:15
Speaker 4: I said, if I reach up, they're going to notice me, and it's they're going to bring attentions.

00:13:20
Speaker 3: I said, don't bring attention to yourself. So I just kept doing that.

00:13:24
Speaker 4: Well, it didn't work because at the end of the night, Jesse said, guy, we know that she got a little emotional.

00:13:30
Speaker 3: Could you share that with us?

00:13:31
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, gone it, Jesse, I said, I was hoping you guys didn't see that.

00:13:36
Speaker 3: But and then I wasn't sure they were actually going to putting on TV.

00:13:39
Speaker 4: But of course very first night there, I am the first crib Berry.

00:13:45
Speaker 1: Did you did your kids or your daughter? Did they give you any advice prior to going on the show?

00:13:52
Speaker 4: You know, they they were supportive. I did ask them ahead of time. They they didn't give a lot of advice. They just were concerned and they just said, Dad, social media can be brutal, and just be very careful with what you say because things can be taken out of context. They can take a sound bite and manipulate it. And that was the only somewhat advice.

00:14:15
Speaker 3: You know.

00:14:15
Speaker 1: So now you're so now you're in this what seems to be a frat house, right.

00:14:23
Speaker 3: What I called it? I said? I said, They said, what was the mansion?

00:14:27
Speaker 4: Like?

00:14:27
Speaker 3: I said, it was a turning house on steroids, you know, yeah?

00:14:31
Speaker 4: And I also said it was it was a It was a retreat for sexugenarian men, sixteen year old men who snore and get up in the middle of light five times a night.

00:14:42
Speaker 1: Out of out of all the guys, who were you closest.

00:14:44
Speaker 4: With, uh two and there were roommates, and that would be Charles l and Gary let me sin I got yeah both of them.

00:14:55
Speaker 5: Gary was on our podcast and here he spoke very highly of you.

00:14:59
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:15:00
Speaker 4: We we we bonded the very first night before we even when we got out of the limousine. We we found that we had a commonality that we both have faith and and we took that and Gary, actually we pray over before every Rose ceremony.

00:15:19
Speaker 1: You had a really you had a really special moment with Charles al when he talked to you about the passing of his wife. Can you describe that for us?

00:15:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it was.

00:15:31
Speaker 4: It was I'll tell you I've done it a thousand times as an the our physician. That's what I do every day is talking to patients and their families about what just happened.

00:15:41
Speaker 3: But with Charles, it was unexpected.

00:15:43
Speaker 4: I completely forgot that we had our mites on, so I wasn't thinking much of it other than he said, can I talked about something. I allowed him the opportunity to go over every detail about his wife's passing during the conversation. Toward the end, I finally realized Charles is harboring all this guilt, that he could have done something different to have saved his wife's life. And I finally, and I don't know if you really don't see it, because it went on.

00:16:15
Speaker 3: There's more editing.

00:16:15
Speaker 4: But I took him by the shoulders and I looked right in the eyes and I said, Charles, I said, you did nothing wrong. I said, the paramedics, the er docs, the neurologists, the neurosurgeons did nothing wrong. I said, your wife passed away from a condition that was.

00:16:32
Speaker 3: Fatal the moment it happened.

00:16:34
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter where she was, but this big thing that he couldn't stop thinking about was And then it hit me again.

00:16:41
Speaker 3: He goes, but he goes.

00:16:43
Speaker 4: I don't understand. She bleeding from her mouth, I said, Charles. I said that had nothing to do with why she passed. I said, when I said, you remember when she slumped against her shoulder, fell to the ground, I said, she either bit her tongue or her cheek, and that's why there was blood coming from mouth, he said. He said, nobody ever explained that to me, and he actually got little tears in his eyes, and I don't think they showed this on the show. He got tears insides and he said, Charles can love again.

00:17:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that was sweet.

00:17:18
Speaker 4: That's that was That was That was an appointed moment, and I still wasn't completely aware of it until later.

00:17:25
Speaker 3: It was brought to my attention that everybody was listening to.

00:17:27
Speaker 4: That, and then I saw subsequent shows where he talked about it, and that's when it really hit me. And it hit me because you know, I've done this for thirty five years, and I've known that I had an impact on people's lives by being our physician.

00:17:43
Speaker 3: But for this specific moment, I felt like.

00:17:47
Speaker 4: I had an incredible opportunity and I was honored to be able to change his life and a lot of us never get that opportunity, and I had that opportun with Charles, and uh, and that's how that's how we first bonded.

00:18:05
Speaker 1: That's nice.

00:18:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that's a really healing moment for him.

00:18:07
Speaker 1: I'm sure. Yes, So you're having these you know, bonding moments with the guys in the house, you're get you're having a good time. When do things because you know you're the number two guy? When do things get serious between you and Joan? When do you feel like they take that your relationship goes into that next step?

00:18:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, Joe had a little conversation I.

00:18:31
Speaker 4: I would say that she and I have as she referred to as a slow burn.

00:18:38
Speaker 3: I was very guarded.

00:18:39
Speaker 4: I was very skeptical about the whole concept, and so I was not willing to like let it all out like some of the other men might have.

00:18:49
Speaker 3: And I kind of held back.

00:18:52
Speaker 4: And so I think by by that maybe she didn't know, but I was really as interested. But I my guard down. I just told myself, I'm going to give this the opportunity. I believe in the process. Plus, I kept getting happier every road someway, I got happier.

00:19:08
Speaker 3: And happier and happier.

00:19:10
Speaker 4: And I was doing this journaling and so I was self reflecting, and I was really getting into good, a good mind space, and so it was probably well it was. It was it was my hometown visit. That's that's when for me it changed.

00:19:26
Speaker 1: What about what about? What about that hometown So.

00:19:30
Speaker 4: When when she announced the four guys, you know, it was Pascal and Jordan, Chuck and I were the fourth. I actually turned to the other guys at the roun certainly I said, hey, to tell you this, I said, but I got hometown advantage. And they were like, what are you going to do? You know, because two of them were for Chicago. You know, I was like, I said, just watch the show. And and my hometown could not at least from my perspective, I believe from hers also, it could not have gone any better.

00:19:59
Speaker 3: We spent the morning.

00:20:00
Speaker 4: Out at Lake Tahoe, which is I call her in my backyard because it's a forty five minute drive up over the hill and it was a picture perfect day glass, not a cloud in the sky, no wind. We went out on the lake. I talked to her in the boat. I talked to her about all these memories I had. It was a it was a magical day. And then we stopped and we had at one of the restaurants there by the pier.

00:20:25
Speaker 3: We had from Champagne and eight.

00:20:29
Speaker 4: And then from there we then got to go meet my family, which I'm the youngest of eight kids. Yeah, Greg, Gary, Gerald, Gwen Glen gre Gary Guy. And then she also got to meet my my not all four of my kids because my second father listened in London couldn't make it back, but she had to meet my old daughter McKenzie, my grandson e Don, my son in law Body, Glenn, and Hang.

00:20:54
Speaker 3: And so I knew that when she was going to meet my sisters and she was going to meet my kids, that she would fall in love with because they're rock stars and they're they're.

00:21:04
Speaker 4: Down to earth, they're fun, they're funny, and I think she adored them. And so by the end of it, I we had this final conversation, and you know, I told her that at that point I opened up more and said I'm falling for you, which I had, and at one point she got a little teary eyed, and I thought that she was starting to feel it also, and that's I thought that was a breakthrough moment for us.

00:21:33
Speaker 1: Were you were you ready after that moment? Were you ready to get engaged? Did you did you picture yourself getting down on one knee?

00:21:41
Speaker 3: Not at that moment.

00:21:42
Speaker 4: I think that I then had to go to the I had to go to the exotic location.

00:21:48
Speaker 1: So okay, so you know, you go to the exotic location and it's you and it's you and Chalk left. Are you aware of were their relationship status is.

00:21:59
Speaker 4: Yeah, at the time, I knew. I knew right from the beginning that Chuck was he was full gas. He he wanted Joan right from the beginning. I was obviously a little help back much more than he did.

00:22:16
Speaker 3: A little gaged and ship with him halfway through the show, but just kind of mess with them. Yeah, I'm work to do just you know.

00:22:25
Speaker 4: But I didn't know that Chuck was as aggressive as I as the way I put as as as he was with his his his words, his thoughts, his actions. I was not aware of that because I don't see that. I don't see them one on one dates. I don't see that. So and we as men, there was very little discussion about that as to you know, what each guy was saying. Nobody really talked about it.

00:23:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, that I honestly that checks out. So then Joan Joan shows up to your your hotel room and deliver some bad news. But what were you thinking when she got there? What was going through your mind?

00:23:17
Speaker 3: And we go back to we actually had our overnight first.

00:23:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeahs overnight.

00:23:22
Speaker 3: Go go go that again.

00:23:25
Speaker 4: When I had my my overnight date again, just like my hometown, I thought I had the best. I mean, we got to go out on the catam Ran, we went snorkeling.

00:23:35
Speaker 5: Yeah, I had some good activities because your one on one day was like the cooking day, which was also a good activity.

00:23:41
Speaker 4: And it was fun because we got to go out. There was sharks, there was eels. It was just it was just a really fun, magical time. And really enjoyed that. And then that evening we had a really nice, pleasant, beautiful dinner overlooking the water. Uh.

00:23:59
Speaker 3: And then we eventually made our.

00:24:00
Speaker 4: Ways to the the overnight bungalow.

00:24:05
Speaker 3: Uh.

00:24:05
Speaker 4: And she had said ahead of time, as everybody knows, that she wasn't going to sleep with anybody, which I gave her kudos for because I said, you have four kids.

00:24:15
Speaker 3: I have four kids. I said, they don't want to see us waking up in our pajamas.

00:24:19
Speaker 4: Okay, I said, there's time for all that at this age, you know, like because I already felt the chemistry. It was just you know, but I just I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, my kids uncomfortable, and mostly I wanted to be very respectful because I asked her permission to kiss her first two times, I didn't just like make the assumption, and so I, you know, maybe that was maybe I should have been a little more aggressive with that, But so I had a wonderful one on one day. We talked about a lot of really heavy stuff without cameras and audio going on. And that's when that was my my my mo for it. I said, you do not need any surprises. Six months down the road, I will tell you everything about my life. You asked me, you have any questions, let me know, and I stuff I even volunteered that she probably didn't even want, but I felt like I needed to tell her so that she wasn't surprised she would be It would be disrespectful to her and to the whole process and to the show because I think, having watched some of the other ones I've gone, why did they not talk about these things? I talked about relocating where I am in my life, retirement, How can we make it work, How do we make our kids meld together?

00:25:40
Speaker 3: How do you see day to day activities? Band not?

00:25:44
Speaker 4: We were living in fantasy land up until that point. And now let's talk about reality.

00:25:55
Speaker 1: Did you guys have a conversation that there was a still there was still another guy there, that Chock was there?

00:26:02
Speaker 4: I I never, I never had conversations about the other man. And it's all subsequently during when I watch a show that Chuck talked about that all the time. For me, I will tell you, Joe, is that it was all about for me? Is Joan my person? And am I Jones person? That was the only question needed to be answered.

00:26:32
Speaker 3: I was not there. I did not see in a competition. This was not who wins. This was did the two of us see ourselves having a life together? That was the question that needed to be answered. So I never.

00:26:47
Speaker 4: Worried about that, Well, she might like Chock, she might like Pascal. Never even I can honestly say I never crossed my mind. I said, she either likes me for who I am and what I represent, and if that's if that's meant to be, then she'll pick me or we'll get together.

00:27:06
Speaker 2: At what point were you sure that you wanted to propose to John?

00:27:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, after the after the fantasy, sweet night, that that whole day, and that that that that night, That's when I said, okay, we talked about everything We've covered all the important variables that you need to talk about really as an adult. And then I journaled and I just said, you know what, I feel great.

00:27:35
Speaker 3: I am ready to do this. I am ready to get down on the knee.

00:27:39
Speaker 1: I was.

00:27:40
Speaker 3: I was ready that day too to talk to our kids.

00:27:45
Speaker 4: I was so excited to see our kids because I thought they'd love me confidence.

00:27:51
Speaker 3: But I I I just felt this.

00:27:54
Speaker 4: I felt like we had so many similar interests and values that it was like, this is gonna work. I mean, that's when I really said, this is this is going to happen. And I was going to ask her kids for their their blessing, you know, and I wanted to have that. I wanted to and I wanted to see real emotion from her children, like we really like you, not like, uh, he seems like an okay guy. I mean that I wanted them to really know me, my family, what I represent, But unfortunately I never had that opportunity.

00:28:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's let's talk a little bit about that. So she she uh, she knocks on your on your door, You let her in. You know, you see, you're you're in good spirits. What will break down that situation for us?

00:28:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, so unexpectedly, the knock comes on the door and I open it and there she is. Well I should have been thinking, oh, this is not good, but I was just so happy to see her, and I was excited.

00:29:00
Speaker 3: And then we're talking.

00:29:01
Speaker 4: I show her around and then we sit down and we start to talk, and I I was actually hoping that she was about to tell me, you know what I thought about this, and I think that you're my guy, and and I'm gonna let the other guys go.

00:29:23
Speaker 1: That was what I was.

00:29:26
Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking for two thirds of it.

00:29:30
Speaker 4: Then she got to look on her face and then you can see my facial expression go from a smile to a foreign, alarmed look, and I I said, oh, this is about to come. And then when she said my heart lives was she told me how wonderful I was. She told me every characteristically you know like you, there's there's nothing wrong with you, but my heart lives with somebody else. And then that that's that's when I that's when I got really emotional, because I was so from that morning I had during an interview, I had said, I'm going all in, I'm getting on a knee, I'm going to propose I'm going to ask for a handed marriage. I was like convinced, and with thirty thirty minutes, that balloon first and it was over. It was over. And so that's why. And I'm a very emotional guy to begin with. And when I had decided I was going to be all in, that was devastating. It was heartbreaking to me. And yeah, you can see it. I mean they were very kind to me. I sobbed for minutes. It wasn't just like ten seconds or something. I just could not stop sobbing because I was so convinced that I was the guy and this was going to happen, and I was so happy, and.

00:30:49
Speaker 3: For it to have come to that conclusion was so difficult. And then, you know, so we finished up. But I made a point to tell her because she felt awful.

00:31:00
Speaker 4: And never do I ever want Joan to feel bad because I love Joan. I absolutely love her. I know now after months, I will always love Joan. I just can't be in love with Joan. Yeah, and so I didn't want her to feel bad. Never will I ever throw her under the bus ever, because she has a heart of gold.

00:31:27
Speaker 3: She is a wonderful woman. I can't I can't.

00:31:31
Speaker 4: I can't think or say anything negative about her, and I say that with sincerity, and so I even said to her, I said, Joan, I said, please, don't worry about me. Don't worry about me. I am going to be okay. But you know, we've all been through difficult times in our life, so I knew that I'd be able to handle it.

00:31:52
Speaker 3: I wouldn't.

00:31:53
Speaker 4: I wasn't happy about it, and it took time, but I knew I would get through it.

00:31:57
Speaker 3: And I'm still.

00:32:01
Speaker 4: In that process because when I watched the show to see everything last night, it was a little more difficult than I had anticipated.

00:32:08
Speaker 5: I was going to ask if watching the season back and seeing her relationship with Chalk, did that help bring you any sense of closure or larity.

00:32:21
Speaker 4: It made me understand what his MO was, and it made me question myself. Should I have been a little more aggressive? But I can only say and do what was true to my heart. I was not going to.

00:32:41
Speaker 3: Say things prematurely. I wasn't.

00:32:43
Speaker 4: I could not be all in at the beginning, and I just there's certain things I just couldn't do because I had to be true to myself. I gotta be true to my heart. If not, I am doing her a disservice. That's disrespectful to her.

00:32:57
Speaker 1: But so, yeah, so where so currently to date? Where are you now? With everything?

00:33:06
Speaker 4: You know, I will say that I, even though I didn't win, I won.

00:33:14
Speaker 3: I won. And I mean what I mean by that is she allowed me to have that transformational journey. One of those is she taught me that. She allowed me to realize.

00:33:27
Speaker 4: That I can truly love again, I can that passionate love again.

00:33:32
Speaker 3: And she did that.

00:33:34
Speaker 4: The Bachelor Show, Gold Basslord Show did that allowed me that opportunity with everything that went on and I and I will thank them forever for that because they changed my life.

00:33:49
Speaker 3: She changed my life.

00:33:51
Speaker 5: How was seeing Joan at the finale the other night?

00:33:57
Speaker 3: You know, I was mentally prepared because I just I wanted to see her. I was happy to see her.

00:34:03
Speaker 4: I didn't she did say some things that that even on TV that made me question her decision. But you know, I she picked Chock. That's she's got to go with her heart. I mean, that's that's her decision. I can't make that decision for he's a great guy.

00:34:27
Speaker 3: You know, I really like Chock, you know. Uh so, and we were roommates.

00:34:35
Speaker 5: I it was harder going on the Golden Bachelorette or being an er doctor.

00:34:43
Speaker 4: I can tell you probably for the most part, it was going on the Golden Bachelorette.

00:34:47
Speaker 5: Really.

00:34:48
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:34:49
Speaker 4: Well, only the reason I say that is there was a couple of times where I was like so nervous, I said, I'd rather be taken care of two cardiac arrest patients. At one time, I said, I'm not patting myself on the back, but I'm a really really good er doc.

00:35:06
Speaker 3: I can.

00:35:09
Speaker 4: I can make split desks, I know what I need to do, split second decision immediately, you know, And I'm pretty good at that. So and they did it for thirty five years, and so I was more comfortable in that environment, right because.

00:35:23
Speaker 5: Maybe if you did thirty five seasons of the Golden Yea, then it would be a lot easier. But hopefully that never happens, because nole is to do as little as possible.

00:35:35
Speaker 3: I wouldn't mind doing one more.

00:35:37
Speaker 5: Let's just say, yeah, oh would you do it again?

00:35:40
Speaker 3: Oh? Absolutely? A heart not a question.

00:35:43
Speaker 1: How was the after party in seeing all the guys again, seeing boxing, and then there's rumors there was you know, the Golden Bachelor women were also there.

00:35:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you meet anyone?

00:35:56
Speaker 3: It was great. I love seeing all the other guys.

00:35:58
Speaker 4: I was really looking forward to that because I didn't have to go on you know, men tell Allso I didn't see them. The other women. I got to meet some of the women. They were wonderful, really wonderful. I didn't get to meet all of them. I really wanted to meet Nancy. And I never saw.

00:36:12
Speaker 3: Nancy because I thought because I thought she.

00:36:15
Speaker 4: Was a sweetheart when she was so supportive of Joan, you know.

00:36:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so I didn't get the opportunity.

00:36:23
Speaker 4: But the rest of it was fantastic, and even getting to meet some of the younger bachelors and people that were on the Bachelorettes.

00:36:31
Speaker 3: I'm going, okay, I am part of a bachelor nation.

00:36:35
Speaker 1: Now you are you really?

00:36:36
Speaker 3: Are?

00:36:37
Speaker 4: We?

00:36:39
Speaker 1: We we love Nancy? Are you gonna? Are you gonna shoot your shot? Because I believe she's single.

00:36:46
Speaker 3: You know what, I have messaged her.

00:36:50
Speaker 4: We exchanged messages a few, but nothing of any substance, you know, So and I thought if she was really interested, she maybe sought me out that night, but I didn't realize.

00:37:02
Speaker 3: She was there.

00:37:03
Speaker 5: Well, we did hear from our producer that Nancy was at the party, but she was sick, so she went home early. But maybe you guys will have a chance to connect and if you see her, you have to shoot your shot with her.

00:37:14
Speaker 3: I will, I will, absolutely. She looked.

00:37:17
Speaker 4: She seems like a wonderful woman. She presents herself extremely well. So yeah, I'd like the opportunity to speak with her.

00:37:26
Speaker 5: Is there anyone else, either in Bachelor Nation or any Golden celebrities that you would be interested in meeting?

00:37:35
Speaker 1: Uh, he's got somebody lined up in there.

00:37:42
Speaker 3: You mean in the Bachelor Nation?

00:37:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, or just anyone any celebrities that you have a crush on that oh.

00:37:48
Speaker 3: Celebrities, Yes, like a Hollywood crush. Sure.

00:37:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, who's your celebrity crush guy?

00:37:55
Speaker 4: That was an easy question for me to answer, And it's Diane Lane.

00:38:00
Speaker 2: Diane Lane Lane Lane.

00:38:02
Speaker 3: She is.

00:38:03
Speaker 4: I have had a crush on her. I think it was the outsiders. She just seems to be She's a natural beauty. I don't obviously know her, but she just seems like a really smart woman, down to earth. She seems she seems like natural.

00:38:23
Speaker 3: She's not this made up type of a movie star. And she is.

00:38:29
Speaker 4: I think she's sixty fifty nine or sixty, so she's age appropriate, like I didn't. My crush isn't somebody thirty years old. It's somebody that.

00:38:38
Speaker 3: Could actually feel like I could actually go on a date with.

00:38:42
Speaker 4: And I know that she's I don't know if she's dating, but I know she's not married anymore. He was married to one of the Brolin brothers and that happened about ten years ago. So I thought, wow, there's my shot. So Dan, if you're out there, I said, you know, if you want to meet a nice er doc, you know that's not your typical Hollywood guy.

00:39:08
Speaker 3: I'm your man.

00:39:09
Speaker 1: There we go. Well, she's probably not listening, but Nancy probably is.

00:39:15
Speaker 5: So you never know, maybe someone that knows her is listening and they'll send her this club.

00:39:22
Speaker 3: You never know.

00:39:23
Speaker 1: Well, guy, thank you, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy day. We really appreciate it.

00:39:29
Speaker 3: Thank you.

00:39:30
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming on bet or Happy Hour.

00:39:32
Speaker 4: I really enjoyed it. Thank you to both of you, guys. I've been looking forward to it, and I love talking about this stuff. I love it because it was such a great experience for me.

00:39:44
Speaker 1: Awesome, all right, to all our listeners, Thank you guys so much for tuning in the Betcher Happy Hour. We really appreciate it, and we'll have exclusive interviews for you every week.

00:39:54
Speaker 2: Don't have to subscribe. Thanks for listening.

00:39:56
Speaker 4: Bye,