The One About Jessica’s Jiu-Jitsu Obsession with Black Belt Dawna Gonzalez & An Update from Lala

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Welcome to they give Them Laala Podcast. I'm your host for the day, Lala. It's me Jessica. I'm here with our Oh thank you, thank you, thank you so much, thank you so much. I am here with our.

00:00:24
Speaker 2: Guy Easton burning Hand.

00:00:27
Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, good to be back, be back. Oh my gosh. And I'm so excited, so excited you guys.

00:00:34
Speaker 2: It is the jiu jitsu episode, and we have my girl, My girl, the first black belt woman I've ever met.

00:00:44
Speaker 1: She's a black belt, a tenth Planet black belt under Eddie Bravo. She does so many things.

00:00:50
Speaker 2: She is a huge proponent of getting women into jiu jitsu, huge proponent of self defense for everyone, I think, not most importantly, but very specifically catered to women's self defense.

00:01:05
Speaker 1: She's a badass. I'll let her tell you guys what she does.

00:01:09
Speaker 2: But Donna Gonzalez, ladies and gentlemen, Hi, how.

00:01:15
Speaker 1: Are you today? Donna fantastic? How are you good? I'm good.

00:01:18
Speaker 2: Let me tell the listeners really quick because I know this is our first actual episode. Well lisays was the first, but then us airing without Lalla. As you know, we've mentioned this before, but I keep wanting to look at this camera, so I'm gonna look here, right, Producer John, Okay, we're learning, you guys.

00:01:38
Speaker 1: So I really wanted to bring a lot of the listeners.

00:01:41
Speaker 2: Ever since I've started jiu jitsu, a lot of our friends, a lot of you guys have written in really great fun questions like people who know nothing about jiu jitsu, like Jessica, why are you so obsessed with it?

00:01:52
Speaker 1: Isn't this weird? Isn't that weird?

00:01:54
Speaker 2: And I purposely did not answer them, knowing we'd be doing an.

00:01:58
Speaker 1: Episode like this.

00:01:59
Speaker 2: So with all that said, I'm going to pass it over to Donna to intro herself and then we'll get into some exciting questions.

00:02:08
Speaker 3: Thanks everybody. So my name is Donna Ganzalz.

00:02:11
Speaker 4: I'm kind of sad that Lisa Mom isn't here. I know, because I also wear daily contacts, but I have to. Yeah, they fall out of my eyes when I do jiu jitsu a lot, so I have to change them every day because I infections. Yes, So anyway, I just wanted to say that.

00:02:24
Speaker 3: I was like, where's Lisa.

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Speaker 4: You can't you can give yourself pinku you and give yourself sties.

00:02:29
Speaker 1: Give yourself well It's like.

00:02:31
Speaker 4: If the contact falls out and you put it back in your eye, it's a dirt contact.

00:02:35
Speaker 3: Can't put a dirty contact in your eye.

00:02:37
Speaker 1: He said, do you wear contacts?

00:02:39
Speaker 3: Okay?

00:02:40
Speaker 4: At when I do jiu jitsu a lot, which we'll talk about in a second, But my contacts like they get knocked out sometimes because you know contact, Yeah, and there's no punching them, right, there's no punching, but we're like we're making contact with each other.

00:02:54
Speaker 2: Heavy cross face baby, and.

00:02:56
Speaker 3: I have a stigmatism and so my my come out easily. Anyways, that I was driving up listening to that.

00:03:02
Speaker 4: Episode today and I was like, yeah, contact, I get it mean same right?

00:03:05
Speaker 2: Oh, which speaking of will put a pit in this you guys. But Donna has some very strong opinions on Trigger Warning where I talk about almost getting abducted and then where Lisa talks about the girl putting the bill in her hair.

00:03:21
Speaker 1: Yes, but that being said, Donna, let's go back. I'm so sorry.

00:03:24
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know you're gooding. I digress. My name is Donna Gonzalez.

00:03:30
Speaker 3: I am a jiu jitsu coach.

00:03:31
Speaker 4: I am a women's self defense coach. I call myself an empowerment coach. My whole focus is helping women find that badass space inside of them.

00:03:41
Speaker 3: I also teach men how to do jiu jitsu children.

00:03:46
Speaker 4: I live inside a little jiu jitsu bubble, but yeah, that's my whole thing is I'm all about like bringing the ladies together and like having them find their power and doing this really cool sport that Jessica is obviously obsessed with now. So I'm here to help feed her obsession and hopefully answer some questions for you guys about the.

00:04:06
Speaker 5: Sport and get some more people upsessed, get.

00:04:09
Speaker 3: Some more people oubsessed.

00:04:10
Speaker 4: Hopefully come, yes, come join Michael in the Colure's the thing.

00:04:15
Speaker 6: I love jiu jitsu and I've always been interested in it.

00:04:18
Speaker 5: I don't think I got the knees for it. My knees popped.

00:04:22
Speaker 4: My ligaments are held together by Hope's dreams and bubble guns.

00:04:27
Speaker 6: But I've mine were two and it popped and I had to get how many surgeries here?

00:04:33
Speaker 1: I know? I just walk it off. Oh my god.

00:04:37
Speaker 2: People ask we're getting into this because people ask about injury.

00:04:40
Speaker 1: But really quick, How I met Donna was?

00:04:43
Speaker 2: I started jiu jitsu in October of last year, and there is there is for me. There was not a lot of women around in my immediate circle at Tenth Planet Burbank.

00:04:56
Speaker 1: That is slowly changing.

00:04:58
Speaker 2: But so I was desperate to find any organization, any seminar that was taught by a woman in jiu jitsu, and Donna was the first I saw. Like it's called lockdown, but it was a seminar where basically Donna was teaching some jiu jitsu and I was like, I think it was an hour away and I was like, I'm going. I went and we immediately clicked, and I was like, I'm obsessed with this person. Did you are you technically the founder of tenth Planet Women or no?

00:05:24
Speaker 1: How does that work?

00:05:25
Speaker 3: Okay? So tenth Planet is its own system, right.

00:05:28
Speaker 4: I was one of Eddie's first female students there, Eddie Bravov. So there's a there's a handful of us, and I'm I'm me. So I'm like, I'll do that, I'll do this, you know what I mean. Like I'm always like let me take yeah over. I'm like take charge type of gal. So when I became a purple belt, which is so if we're going by belt rings, you guys are white congratulations, everybody.

00:05:52
Speaker 1: Here, I'm a white u.

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Speaker 5: I have no idea, So.

00:05:57
Speaker 1: Okay, so everybody here's a white belt.

00:05:59
Speaker 4: Then you get your blue belt, so that makes you like a freshman, right, and then you get your purple belt and that's like sophomore brown belt, junior, black belt, senior.

00:06:09
Speaker 5: I've seen belts with like black and then red in them. Is that higher?

00:06:13
Speaker 4: Well, that's just because you needed to be able to They give stripes and gi jiu jitsu they give stripes, so every four stripes you get to rank up in tenth planet.

00:06:20
Speaker 3: We don't give stripes.

00:06:21
Speaker 4: Some schools do, but for the most part, we don't give stripes. It's just like you kinda hang out for a couple of years until you get your you know what I mean, Like children get stripes. As a coach, I give children stripes because they need the motivation.

00:06:32
Speaker 3: But as an adult, like just shi three four years, how like that's.

00:06:39
Speaker 5: Up to you or four years to get a belt.

00:06:42
Speaker 4: On average, ten years to get a black belt in jiu jitsu. So then what you're asking about, like the red stripe, then that's where you see the stripes.

00:06:49
Speaker 1: So as a black belt, every three years.

00:06:52
Speaker 4: According to how we do it in tenth Planet, which is according to how Jean Jaques Machado does it Eddie's coach. Every three years if you are still training, if you are still a ruppers any ten planet, if you are still involved, you get a degree.

00:07:02
Speaker 3: So I'm the first degree black belt.

00:07:05
Speaker 5: Okay A, So she congratulations on that you.

00:07:09
Speaker 1: Got that this year, right?

00:07:11
Speaker 4: Or yes, yes, I got my first degree in December, in December, because I got my black belt in up right here in December of twenty twenty.

00:07:20
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so exciting.

00:07:22
Speaker 5: Before Mark, So going to jiu jitsu is like becoming a doctor. So here's the story that.

00:07:28
Speaker 4: My brother, who is in fact a doctor, got me into jiu jitsu while he was in medical school. I am now a first degree black belt. He is still a white belt, but he's a doctor. Asked, which one of us strives a better car?

00:07:44
Speaker 1: Is it him?

00:07:47
Speaker 5: I want to.

00:07:49
Speaker 2: Surgery Before we hop into the questions, I really quickly want to say we're going to do an update from Lalla and hop into the questions. But I wanted to say really quickly, how long have you been in jiu jitsu, Donna, and why did you get started?

00:08:06
Speaker 4: I have been in jiu jitsu for sixteen years and I got started by ACCIDENTE.

00:08:11
Speaker 5: Okay, how does that happen?

00:08:13
Speaker 3: Well, the brother that I mentioned, what's up?

00:08:15
Speaker 1: DJ?

00:08:16
Speaker 5: Hey?

00:08:16
Speaker 1: DJ?

00:08:17
Speaker 4: He So he was taking kickboxing classes. I've always been a gym rat. My first gym, my first job was in a gym. You know, always been a gym rat. And it was circ at the time that it was two thousand and eight, and that was when UFC was getting really like commercially popular. So my brother was taking kickboxing classes near his school. He's going to ASU and then I guess he heard somehow about a gym in Hollywood.

00:08:43
Speaker 3: So he was like, hey, you should go take kickboxing classes there. It'll be really fun.

00:08:46
Speaker 4: And I had taken a few kickboxing classes with him, and I'd done a little bit of boxing even before that. But I was a massage therapist, so in like earlier, I was a massage therapist and then I found boxing. I used to go take classes at Wildcard over here in Hollywood, but mass therapy and boxing not a great combination.

00:09:03
Speaker 3: Hands yeah, Like my wrists were like pick one right right.

00:09:07
Speaker 4: So my brother was like, hey, go go take kickboxing classes because I got a new job and I wasn't having to massage as much, and I'm like, cool, I'm in. So I walk in and I signed up for just the kickboxing and cardio classes and they were like, oh, we're gonna like, we're gonna give you a whole membership, like that's everything, including jiu jitsu.

00:09:26
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, no, no, thank you. I don't know what that is.

00:09:29
Speaker 4: But they're like, oh, it's the grappling and I was like, yeah, no idea.

00:09:34
Speaker 3: But I was like, nah, I'm good.

00:09:35
Speaker 4: But they're like, you were just gonna go to you anyway, so you can take classes, and I was like cool. So I was taking the kickboxing classes and I was young and single and he's not out and about in the evenings. But then I was like, wait, this is way healthier than going to clubs. And then yes, what happened was afterwards, I was like, wait, how come all the dudes are showing up to the class after kickbox.

00:09:56
Speaker 1: And they were they were cute, like high and you were like I could roll. Okay you guys, because I know that's one of the questions.

00:10:01
Speaker 3: So yes, yes.

00:10:02
Speaker 1: They're they're athlete.

00:10:03
Speaker 4: Yes, there's a lot of good looking men who did ju jitsu when I was young and paying attention at the time.

00:10:08
Speaker 2: So I was like, in, that's why you don't who's why you should know.

00:10:13
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding.

00:10:14
Speaker 2: We do not sexualize jiu jitsu here, ladies and gentlemen, but you.

00:10:18
Speaker 1: Can if you do it right, says Okay, I'm learning.

00:10:24
Speaker 4: That's That's essentially what happened. Is like one of my girlfriends who was taking kickboxing at the time, she was like, yeah, you know Eddie, the guy that teaches, He's like famous. People come from all over the world to train with him. And I was like that dude, yeah, And I was like all right, and then I was like, oh, dudes, okay. So then I showed up and I remember one guy showed me how to do a sing a double leg, which is how you like you drop down on somebody and you grab both of their legs a double leg, you pull them in and you knock them on their I didn't know.

00:10:52
Speaker 3: I don't know what you want, you know, I'm not I.

00:10:54
Speaker 1: Didn't okay, yeah until this year anyway.

00:10:57
Speaker 5: I was about the sexualized version. You can talk about we.

00:11:00
Speaker 1: Can talk about it.

00:11:00
Speaker 3: I don't know, so that I I.

00:11:03
Speaker 4: Remember he showed me that, and I go, I go, that is information I will never need any time in my life.

00:11:10
Speaker 3: And now I teach those things.

00:11:12
Speaker 2: Yes, you teach it, you end up you She ended up using it once.

00:11:17
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll get into that story. Maybe we'll save that Donna.

00:11:20
Speaker 2: You guys were not going to be able to get into it on this episode. Donna has the wildest story.

00:11:25
Speaker 5: I do have some stories of all I like some come with the questions.

00:11:28
Speaker 2: Where she's used her jiu jitsu in bars needing to Oh my god, anyway, Okay, so before.

00:11:37
Speaker 7: I mean, she sometimes given one example, one quick example of where you had to use ju outside of it, where.

00:11:46
Speaker 3: Did I have to use I'll give you a very safe one, very like family friend, get.

00:11:50
Speaker 5: Charged with I know.

00:11:51
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.

00:11:53
Speaker 4: A dog, A dog attacked my dog, so I jumped on it, rer naked, choked and pulled off my what that's.

00:11:59
Speaker 5: What you can do.

00:12:00
Speaker 1: Not expect that because you don't. You're not hurting them, You're just that.

00:12:06
Speaker 3: Okay, here's my spiel.

00:12:07
Speaker 4: If you guys ever come to one of my self defense someone ours, you're gonna hear me say this. This is why jiu jitsu is so good for self defense because you can hurt somebody, but you also have the ability to just neutralize the situation without hurting somebody. And that's why it's so good for women, because even though I hear stories of men doing horrible things to women, women always like, I don't want to hurt anybody.

00:12:28
Speaker 3: And I'm like why but right, But I'm like.

00:12:32
Speaker 4: Okay, cool, I'll teach you how to like shut it down without hurting somebody.

00:12:35
Speaker 2: Quote right, Donna is a very she loves dogs, so let's not get it twisted you guys. She's not I would hear reg unless I had to, but you can show of course. So before we have a lot of great questions from you guys. We won't be able to get to them all today, but maybe we'll do, you know, another another thing with Donna. But before we jump into the questions, we have another update from our boss, our girl, miss She's going to give us an update on how she's doing, how baby Sosa is doing.

00:13:05
Speaker 1: So here we go, Hello, my.

00:13:06
Speaker 8: Love, I'm here with my babe. I will say, although we are thriving, I have no complaints. I'm on cloud nine. I am living for this two kids kind of life.

00:13:24
Speaker 9: I'm ready for number three, although my mom tells me to chill out on that, but I feel like right after I gave birth, I was like, oh my gosh, I have so much energy. Look at this new glow. Oh my gosh, I'm bright out of bushytail. The exhaustion has sunk in. I am a little tired. I had a night nurse three days a week. I am now at seven. That is right, I have one seven nights a week. Shout out to all of my moms doing the damn thing because you guys are superheroes. Here's my update. I love and miss you, and I'll be back on the pod so soon and I can't wait.

00:14:02
Speaker 1: All right, thank you for that, Lala, thank you so much for that update. We love you, we miss you.

00:14:09
Speaker 2: Okay, you guys, So listeners, friends of the pod have DMed me this past year?

00:14:17
Speaker 1: Have we wrote a prompt the other day?

00:14:20
Speaker 2: Have written in with some questions for fairness purposes, I'll start with a couple that I've gotten the past year, and then we'll hop into the ones that you guys wrote last night. Again, thank you guys for writing in. There's a lot and we'll get to as many as we can. Let's do this number one. This was asked a lot, and we'll keep these anonymous because there's some spicy ones. Do you have to do the close contact rolling around with other people if you join jiu jitsu?

00:14:52
Speaker 1: If so, can you pick and choose who you do it with?

00:14:55
Speaker 8: So?

00:14:56
Speaker 4: Yes, and yes, Okay, it's a grappling sport. There's no way you can and there's no way to do jujitsu without touching other people because the sport is attacking joints and strangling.

00:15:08
Speaker 3: That's the whole sport. So you need other people's joints to do that.

00:15:11
Speaker 4: Yeah, but yes, of course everybody has bodily as autonomy, So you can choose not to roll with anybody for whatever reason. If it's just because you're scared, As a coach, I'll probably push you to roll with people. But if it's like, you know, here's some certain bad at that. But in that situation, I'd pull them off and be like, hey, we gotta address this.

00:15:30
Speaker 5: I have to.

00:15:33
Speaker 1: Okay, so this might follow it like you tell people when they smell.

00:15:36
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's kind of uncomfortable sometimes, but it's more uncomfortable to have your face stuck in somebody's eyes.

00:15:40
Speaker 3: That's where the comes from.

00:15:43
Speaker 4: So yeah, but like there are circumstances that for religious purposes people can't roll with the opposite sex, or you know, there are circumstances with somebody's like, hey, my partner doesn't want me rolling with somebody from the opposite sex. That is a that is a boundary that you've set in your life. That's that's fine, Like you know what I mean, everybody has bodily autonomy, not just people that I feel like I need to protect, you know what I mean?

00:16:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, So the answer is yes, you guys, yes, but you do have to come in close contact. But if you have a coach like donnat or like the coaches at my gym, Tenth Planet Burbank, they're very respectful.

00:16:18
Speaker 3: And here's the thing.

00:16:19
Speaker 4: If you're doing it for self defense, and there's a lot of other reasons that women do jiu jitsu, and some men only do it for self defense, So just to say that, but if you are there for the sake of self defense, I would highly encourage you to build yourself up to the point where you are willing to roll with man or else you're never going to fill it realistically.

00:16:37
Speaker 2: Right right, I'm going to say, I'm going to ask two more that people wrote into me, and the third one I will trigger warning now is a question, and I'll just trigger warning SSA, which is sexual assault. Okay, this next one, I'm a forty six year old woman.

00:16:57
Speaker 1: Am I too old to start jiu jitsu?

00:16:59
Speaker 5: Now?

00:17:00
Speaker 3: No?

00:17:00
Speaker 1: No, no, why though? Because jiu jitsu is adaptable for everybody.

00:17:05
Speaker 5: Okay, how many stretches do you gotta do before you see a lot?

00:17:07
Speaker 4: I mean at forty six, you have to stretch a lot more than everybody else, and you have to maybe pace yourself a little bit more.

00:17:12
Speaker 1: But absolutely it's available to everybody.

00:17:14
Speaker 6: Okay, there's no age I have too high to learn self defense?

00:17:19
Speaker 5: Right yeah? In jitsu? Yeah? See all right?

00:17:23
Speaker 6: I would say, do you teach them different than you would teach like a twenty five year old or is it all the same?

00:17:28
Speaker 4: I think it's all that's there's just going to be different levels of gas pedal, you know what I mean, but all.

00:17:33
Speaker 5: The same moves? Yeah, yeah, obviously, Okay, yeah, I.

00:17:37
Speaker 4: Mean I probably wouldn't teach somebody in their late fifties with who's never done anything athletic to I probably wouldn't start them off with heavy wrestling, right, which you know, I would definitely teach them defense.

00:17:52
Speaker 3: But then I don't know.

00:17:54
Speaker 4: Sometimes we'll have like ex athletes who are on the older end of things will come in and we'll.

00:17:59
Speaker 1: Be like, let's go.

00:18:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's this is an individual sport. You definitely need other people's bodies to do it. But everything in jiu jitsu is individual.

00:18:06
Speaker 1: So there are people who.

00:18:07
Speaker 4: Train that have they don't have use of their legs. There are people who train who only have like a one limb or something like that. So it's adaptable to everybody.

00:18:15
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, okay, okay, dainty, but I'm very interested in this.

00:18:20
Speaker 1: You should everybody should be doing interesting.

00:18:22
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:18:22
Speaker 6: I just have a feeling there's gonna be acls gone, it happens, and it happens.

00:18:26
Speaker 1: Wait, producer John's flagging me down.

00:18:28
Speaker 7: We could just trains this one to ask who is the oldest person you've trained? Or how old was the person you trained?

00:18:32
Speaker 5: Old?

00:18:32
Speaker 3: How is how old is the oldest person that I have trained?

00:18:36
Speaker 4: I believe that I've had men in my class in their sixties, and I want to say.

00:18:43
Speaker 3: I don't generally.

00:18:45
Speaker 4: Ask people their ages, but I've had women probably yeah, also in their sixties and my self defense classes.

00:18:50
Speaker 5: Yeah, what is a good age to start teaching kids?

00:18:53
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good.

00:18:53
Speaker 4: It's a great question. Well, the answer to every question in the world is it depends. So I have four year olds that come to our class. I do think that they it's a little bit of a struggle we have to make things age appropriate for them. But I think kids as long as they have the ability to listen, pay attention.

00:19:12
Speaker 1: Follow instruction my sweet spot age.

00:19:16
Speaker 4: And if if I got to be the boss of everything, I would have kids do gymnastics and only wrestling up until seven. I would start kids in gymnastics around three ish. I'm not a gymnastics expert. I don't know ask one of them, but I would start kids in gymnastics around three or four. I would have them do that and then start wrestling around five or six, and then have them start jiu jitsu at seven.

00:19:38
Speaker 5: Okay, Okay, I can argue it.

00:19:40
Speaker 2: I will say before I get into this next question really quick, because I want to know if you agree. A lot of women asking me they were like it seems overwhelming there's so many terms that like this woman who's forty six, I am someone who deals with anxiety. So for me seeing class a jiu jitsu class and being like, I don't know the terms, I don't know this for my brain, I thought, before I even start class, I'm going to and a lot of gyms offer this, most gyms, I'm going to take a few privates. So I contacted tenth Planet Burbank. I said, I'm not comfortable jumping right into class. What is the price of like, I would like to take a few private lessons before I jump into class. And it was great because I had coached Josh Kubera, who's great, and he said, what are you looking to sort of do before class? And I said, honestly, like you guys are doing these warm ups, I just want to know how to warm up in terms, and he's like, great, we're going to go over that. I did, I think three privates with him, and then in each gym has different pricing. But and then when I jumped into class, I at least knew like the terms he was using, I knew, So what do you think do you think, like do you suggest that to most people if they feel that way.

00:20:55
Speaker 4: Yes, I think it's a great idea to do that and doing approaching it the same way that you did, like give me terms just so I understand what's going on. But also a good fundamentals class should cover that if you stick around, you know what I mean, because we should be only covering the same four to five things over and over and over and over and over again. So if let's say you want to join jiu jitsu, but that's where your budget is and you can't afford the extra lessons, focus on the fundamentals class and it will come. Also, remember this is learning a language with your body. It takes ten years to get a black belt in jiu jitsu. Nobody expects you to know shit for your first year. So that's the coaches know that, the people who you are training with know that it's a very long term project.

00:21:39
Speaker 5: Mm hmm.

00:21:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:21:40
Speaker 2: But it's really fun and it's frustrating, and anyway I can go out and it's a blast.

00:21:44
Speaker 1: I can go on and on. This next question is the one I did the trigger warning for.

00:21:48
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm a survivor of sexual assault and I really want to take jiu jitsu classes to get over my fear responses and trauma and learn self defense. But I also don't want to just get thrown into a class environment where others don't understand that I will be triggered at first.

00:22:07
Speaker 1: What are my options?

00:22:09
Speaker 5: This is only private lessons first.

00:22:10
Speaker 3: Private lessons are a good way to go.

00:22:12
Speaker 4: If there's the luxury of a woman's class, that's a really good place to start. Also, tell people mm hmm. You take away power when you tell your story. So if you're like, hey, I'm super nervous, because all you have to say is I'm a survivor of something, I get triggered easily. I'm working my way through it. How I work with women in my classes are we do like the two second rule. So if you start to get triggered to stay two seconds longer then you want to, then you can tap, get up, go wash your face, get some air, take a drink of water, walk it off, come back. The next time, I want you to stay four seconds longer, then you want to tap, get up, go out, walk away, same thing. And pretty soon after those four seconds, six seconds, eight seconds, ten seconds, we work our way up two minutes and then the next thing you know, you are sparring against guys for five to eight minute rounds.

00:22:56
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:22:57
Speaker 6: Yeah, because I'm the I'm the type of per I get anxiety and I'd rather lay it out like all out so everybody can who I am.

00:23:03
Speaker 4: Communication judgment, and I would say that that's a huge thing when women are like, hey, what should I look for in gyms? Like should it be a certain level of competition or whatever? And the first thing I always tell people to look for is how comfortable are you with the coaches and how comfortable are you with the people in the room. That's the most important thing. Gee, no, gee, whatever what team it is, make sure you are comfortable with the people surrounding you. And if you can't look at the person next to you and be like, hey, I might have an anxiety teck if I if I tap, I need you to get off of me.

00:23:29
Speaker 1: If I cry.

00:23:30
Speaker 4: There's also been moments I personally have been like, if I start crying, keep going.

00:23:34
Speaker 1: Really, I've never cried in jiu jitsu. I've cried.

00:23:37
Speaker 5: I can't. I just can't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

00:23:44
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wouldn't do it to a white like I wouldn't do it to another new person, But like if you have a person or a purple belt brown, but like somebody that you trust, somebody that you've been training with, if you're like, hey, working through some things. This is what's coming up for me, and then whatever your whatever your thing is, Like I might start crying. Keep going if I start crying, and can you please just not make a big deal about it, I'm gonna get up and leave.

00:24:03
Speaker 2: Oh I like this a lot communication, baby, communication, in jiu jitsu, in life.

00:24:09
Speaker 1: Okay, I love thank you for that. I love this.

00:24:11
Speaker 2: Okay, we're getting into the more recent questions.

00:24:14
Speaker 3: Spicy questions, this spicy.

00:24:17
Speaker 2: Oh goodness you guys, well you know what. I got a few of these, so this isn't too spicy. This will be a quick answer.

00:24:25
Speaker 1: Can overweight people do it?

00:24:26
Speaker 2: I'm chubby, but I want to try, girl, girl, It isn't whatever.

00:24:30
Speaker 4: In yes, absolutely, jiu jitsu is the most body positive sport I've ever been a part of. Like it's we never go you can't do that at your size. The question is, all right, what weight are you? What weight do you want to compete up?

00:24:44
Speaker 2: Let's go okay, yeah, and you don't have to compete correct, you don't have to compete, But this is what I'm saying, like, you absolutely can do it.

00:24:52
Speaker 5: Sure? What do they call it? Rolling?

00:24:54
Speaker 8: Yea?

00:24:55
Speaker 3: Rolling and sparring.

00:24:57
Speaker 4: If we're talking about weight, usually it's like what do you walk at? Meaning what do you walk around at? And what can you cut to? Those are really the only conversations about what we're having until you get to the pro level, then it's where are you going to perform the best? But if it's just somebody coming to me, all right, what do you walk at?

00:25:10
Speaker 1: Cool?

00:25:10
Speaker 4: Are you comfortable competing there? Which I suggest wherever you walk at is what you do in the beginning, then yeah, let's go love it.

00:25:17
Speaker 2: Okay, are people in your gym allowed to date each other?

00:25:21
Speaker 4: Well, adults can do whatever the hell they want, right, I would say that I'm not allowed to date anybody.

00:25:27
Speaker 1: Donna is a coach at South Bay. Just what is the coach is dating students? Yeah?

00:25:36
Speaker 4: Like, okay, every school is going to have their own rules set by the owner. It is pretty explicit among our coaches that we do not condone condone them dating students.

00:25:46
Speaker 5: Okay, coaches day, coaches.

00:25:50
Speaker 3: Don't think any where coaches d coming only girls. That's not true.

00:25:55
Speaker 4: I mean, hey, look, I don't I honestly don't know what's going on in their personal lives and it's not in my business. But I would say that they're like the the stereotype of the coach dating their white belt is laughable because it's.

00:26:06
Speaker 3: Real, you know what I mean.

00:26:08
Speaker 1: It's round of course.

00:26:10
Speaker 4: But that being said, I know so many couples that met in jiu jitsu. So my attitude towards it is, it's two students that are dating each other, Like, be an adult, be prepared if there's a breakup, Like, how are.

00:26:21
Speaker 3: You going to handle this?

00:26:22
Speaker 4: Find any one of my coaches dated a student, that'd be a different conversation.

00:26:26
Speaker 1: Really yeah, Okay.

00:26:28
Speaker 5: Well if I was a student, I just.

00:26:29
Speaker 2: What if one of your coaches dated If a coach from another gym dates a student from another gym, that's.

00:26:37
Speaker 4: Less, that's not of our business. And their adults okay, okay adult adults.

00:26:40
Speaker 5: Well yeah, at that point you can DATESE are.

00:26:43
Speaker 3: Just people within the community dating each other.

00:26:45
Speaker 4: The thing that is the is where where I come from with it is the power dynamic, you know what I mean. So if it's a higher ranked let's go, it's let's use the stereotype that is usually the problem. A higher ranked older man dating a younger ish, lower ranked woman. That's a that's a heavy power dynamic.

00:27:07
Speaker 5: So you got to date your belt, that is what you're saying.

00:27:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to date your belt.

00:27:11
Speaker 4: But like, let's say it's it'd be less of a like a a dangerous power dynamic.

00:27:17
Speaker 1: If it's like a blue belt girl who's.

00:27:20
Speaker 4: I don't know, thirty and she's dating a white belt dude who's twenty eight, that's that's less of a power dynamic there than a thirty nine year old black belt dating his twenty three year old white belt student.

00:27:32
Speaker 3: I see the difference there, almost to.

00:27:34
Speaker 7: Give it like a senior dating a freshman.

00:27:35
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so much of a power dynamic that like, but adults can do what adults. Adults can do whatever they want to do. But we're also running over business and there's a power dynamic. Sure, absolutely, And there's a power dynamic, so it's definitely something that we need to be a whole.

00:27:50
Speaker 5: Like look at like he's for sure, okay, I hear you.

00:27:54
Speaker 1: I agree. Every gym, I'm sure treats it differently.

00:27:58
Speaker 2: But I like going back to just making sure which you've you. I've dropped into ten Planet itself Bay multiple times. It's feels so safe, just like ten Plane and Burbing, just like HQ. Any gym I've dropped into so far has felt so safe. It is you are in awkward situations and positions, sometimes with the opposite sex. So making sure it feels like a safe space and I'm doing stuff like that is going to help that.

00:28:24
Speaker 3: But of course people in jiu jitsu date each other.

00:28:25
Speaker 1: Well, it's like the people at work.

00:28:27
Speaker 2: It's like when you're surrounded by this person and you start to know people, and people start to and also a lot of.

00:28:33
Speaker 1: Jiu jitsu men are yeah, I'm not. I can't even talk about it.

00:28:36
Speaker 5: It's that's you freak. I got one for you real quick.

00:28:42
Speaker 7: Don Have you ever coached or had a couple in your class and know that they're fighting when they come in, Because I've had a summer school class in college. I sat next to a couple and there was one day you could tell they were fighting. One sat next week, the other one sat on the opposite end of the road. Can you just tell that awkwardness when a couple's fighting in your class?

00:28:57
Speaker 3: Of course, we've had breakups, you pull, most people.

00:29:02
Speaker 4: Can can handle their shit, like it's it's been a minute since there's been like she can't train here, you can't train her on one of the maronas.

00:29:10
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Like, most people can handle it.

00:29:12
Speaker 4: We have a couple at our gym, a formal couple that they broke up, but they and they didn't train together for a while and now they're friendly.

00:29:18
Speaker 3: So it's like, oh, well that's nice.

00:29:20
Speaker 2: Right, right, they'll be dating against We'll see.

00:29:26
Speaker 1: Okay, this is one, and there was quite a few of these.

00:29:30
Speaker 2: Have you ever gotten aroused while rolling around with a partner and wanted to take it further?

00:29:36
Speaker 1: I could not feel stronger about this, but I want to hear.

00:29:39
Speaker 6: You in your When I saw your question, I turned into a little fifteen year old boners.

00:29:45
Speaker 4: I think it happened in two different ways. Okay, you obviously you are going to look at athletes in the sport an objectively be like that is a good looking human being?

00:29:54
Speaker 1: Right? I would say that it goes away the better you get a jiu jitsu?

00:30:00
Speaker 3: Do you know what I'm saying?

00:30:00
Speaker 4: Like in the very beginning, when you really don't know what's happening. Like all you're like, oh my god, this man is touching.

00:30:04
Speaker 5: You know what I mean.

00:30:06
Speaker 4: But when you get better jujitsu and you're playing the game and you're doing the thing, I'm trying to kill you.

00:30:12
Speaker 1: Yes right, I don't care how good looking you are.

00:30:15
Speaker 3: I'm trying to kill you.

00:30:16
Speaker 1: And she does too.

00:30:17
Speaker 2: Like the second I rolled with Donna last weekend, I mean she puts one hand in me, I'm like, oh my god.

00:30:21
Speaker 5: Out okay.

00:30:25
Speaker 2: I have a completely different viewpoint you guys at first, and I'll probably again. I'm literally a white belt. I know nothing about jiu jitsu. I know a few things. I could not have been less aroused, even if the guy was so hot, Like I could look at them and be like, oh my god, so hot. I'm so like not good at jiu jitsu and clumsy and like bad at the movements and positions. The second I'm rolling with a hot guy, I'm like, I'm dry as a bone down there.

00:30:56
Speaker 1: I am not turned on. I am not aroused.

00:30:58
Speaker 4: Here's how you the analogy of that, Like, let's say, like your type the best looking person in the world is you're in a pool. You're in a pool and they're off to the side of the pool and all of a sudden, something from underneath grabs your feet and is trying to drown you in the pool.

00:31:13
Speaker 1: Are you are you like like you're trying, You're trying not to die.

00:31:18
Speaker 3: You're not like, oh my.

00:31:19
Speaker 1: God, that person has you know what I mean? Like, like, how do I look? How do I look?

00:31:23
Speaker 3: You're like, don't die, don't die, don't die.

00:31:25
Speaker 4: And that's that's usually the inner dialogue from year one to about year three.

00:31:30
Speaker 1: Don't die, don't die, don't die. Defense get on top, get on top, don't do that, don't do that.

00:31:36
Speaker 2: Literally no, but that is my that is my and like this second and I can like really look and be like damn there hot this second, I'm rolling with them. Not only am I trying to survive. Yes, I literally have never looked uglier.

00:31:51
Speaker 1: In my life. I will see videos and be like, who is that monster? Oh my god, that's me.

00:31:56
Speaker 3: I've never.

00:31:59
Speaker 5: Contact and you're rolling with the guy or girl.

00:32:01
Speaker 1: Okay, so I ask you because it's different for me.

00:32:04
Speaker 2: Okay, So for me, I never weird thing, never make eye I never make eye contact with them in my head. But I saw my first competition video footage, and for some reason, I am staring these girls in the.

00:32:17
Speaker 1: Eyes like I looked at myself with a blackout girl. Look away, look away. You are embarrassing yourself. What about you, Donna?

00:32:24
Speaker 3: It depends.

00:32:24
Speaker 4: It depends on who I'm rolling with. If it is somebody with you're attracted to, No, it's somebody with my equal skill level and we're having a fun roll.

00:32:35
Speaker 3: I will make eye contact with you to fuck with you.

00:32:36
Speaker 4: The same thing they will make eye contact with me to fuck with me and like talk shit. If it's somebody I don't you know you don't look at.

00:32:43
Speaker 3: People when you compete?

00:32:44
Speaker 5: Can you wear goggles?

00:32:46
Speaker 3: Goggles?

00:32:46
Speaker 5: I would I didn't mind, so they couldn't see my eyes.

00:32:50
Speaker 4: So I would say I only look at people in the eye for two reasons. If we are talking, we are collectively in a fun way talking shit to each other.

00:32:57
Speaker 3: Or what was the other one there was working?

00:33:00
Speaker 5: Fucking's he read?

00:33:01
Speaker 3: No, it'll come to me. I don't know. There's another reason.

00:33:05
Speaker 2: Maybe no, Ethan's really trying to push this like jiu jitsu a track.

00:33:11
Speaker 5: I couldn't do it because I'd just be rolling. I'd see him in the eyes and i'd be like, you think that.

00:33:15
Speaker 2: I thought that when I first started. I told my coach I called believe it.

00:33:19
Speaker 4: Looking at it like you can be like, oh my god, they're like practically sitting on your chest is kind of hot.

00:33:25
Speaker 3: No, it's not, I promise.

00:33:27
Speaker 1: And people smell and their swell perfect.

00:33:30
Speaker 3: And you're trying to drown and break their limbs. I promise. When somebody's trying to break your arm, you're not like they're so good looking.

00:33:36
Speaker 8: No.

00:33:37
Speaker 2: In fact, I'm like, Okay, I thought this guy was hot, and now fuck this guy.

00:33:40
Speaker 1: I'm pissed. Now you really want it?

00:33:43
Speaker 2: Okay, So we're gonna because I want to get into the Liasa story and then we've got some things to get into.

00:33:50
Speaker 4: So well, and you have a spicy thing to say about let's hear it. Give us a spice again. Once you get good at jiu jitsu, it's not the same when you're having spike see time. However, you can use jiu jitsu moves incorporated.

00:34:04
Speaker 1: In the bedroom.

00:34:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've done it, ladies and gentlemen, and by golly, it's a game changer. Yeah, lockdown comes and help you lockdown, guys. Lockdown with your legs. Is Don is the queen of lockdown. I tried to put her in it last weekend and she was like, you're really gonna try and lockdown me.

00:34:20
Speaker 4: Lockdown is when you lock down somebody's legs, how to trap their leg in between your legs and so if you think about the positioning, usually.

00:34:27
Speaker 1: It's butterfly hooks, Like you can use butterfly hooks.

00:34:29
Speaker 4: Butterfly hookses when you take the top of your foot and you can clamp onto somebody, so moving them around, and then like if you've been tossed by somebody.

00:34:36
Speaker 3: My husband's a.

00:34:37
Speaker 1: Purple belt, so like he can toss me pretty easily. He's at.

00:34:42
Speaker 3: All I'm saying is uh.

00:34:44
Speaker 1: I've used the phrase sex jujitsu before.

00:34:46
Speaker 3: Stop.

00:34:47
Speaker 1: Have you ever done jiu jitsu naked? Or you can say no? Comment uh?

00:34:51
Speaker 3: I mean pretty much.

00:34:53
Speaker 2: Yes.

00:34:53
Speaker 4: I can say that my husband and I have incorporated sex jiu jitsu into sex.

00:34:58
Speaker 1: Okay and choking Chuck, I'm not You're not into choking?

00:35:02
Speaker 4: No, I do violence for a living. I don't want you know what I mean? Like, right, I welcome.

00:35:07
Speaker 1: Sweeps, Okay, sweeps are it would be.

00:35:09
Speaker 3: When I go from the bottom to the top and it's done in a very like it's.

00:35:12
Speaker 5: Like with your tongue.

00:35:13
Speaker 3: No, if I'm.

00:35:17
Speaker 4: Asshold of giant, if you are underneath me and I'm on top of you, A sweep is a very quick motion where you would switch the positions.

00:35:25
Speaker 2: But it's like it's like so smooth and beautiful. And I will say you, guys, I was never into Let me preface when I say choking, I mean very light, no pass it. I was never into choking. In the bedroom, you put your hand on my neck, I'm like, get away after jiu jitsu though, because I'm comfortable with that stuff now, I'm like, oh.

00:35:46
Speaker 1: Baby, put it around my neck.

00:35:51
Speaker 4: If you do get you build up a tolerance to last week of the invasion, that little girl jumped on my back and at one point I was having a conversation with her mom. She started choking me and they were like, that doesn't phase you, and I was like, oh yeah, no, yah do for.

00:36:06
Speaker 2: A living Okay, let's for question wise. We're gonna end on ahead. How has or it says has jiu jitsu helped with your mental health?

00:36:17
Speaker 1: And if so, how so?

00:36:19
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:36:20
Speaker 4: It helps you stay present in a way that nothing else I've ever experienced. Can you can't be worried about did I pay my phone bill? Or oh my god, you know there's a leak in my bathroom, because you're trying to survive death. You are trying to fight off somebody trying to break your arm or choke you, or grab your foot.

00:36:37
Speaker 3: Or you know, take you down.

00:36:38
Speaker 4: So it helps you stay present in a way that nothing else I've ever experienced does. And yeah, that and aggression, like it's a really sick we welcome it. We welcome aggression. So you get to come and get all of the aggression that you fill out in the world. You get to come fight off death for a couple hours, and there's no way you don't walk out of that.

00:36:58
Speaker 6: Like, but I feel like it takes the anxiety away of like if something does happen, then you don't know how to defend yourself, so now you do, so that anxiety's gone of the day.

00:37:08
Speaker 1: One hundred percent.

00:37:09
Speaker 2: It helps you with First, Yes, for me, I'm sitting there sometimes and you're under I'm under a one hundred and eighty pound man, and I'm getting choked, and I'm like, and I tell myself, just breathe you don't have to tap out right now, just breathe. And then I take it into life where I'm like so stressed and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind, and then I'm like, just breathe, like relax, breathe, move on to one thing at a time, stay present.

00:37:34
Speaker 1: It has truly helped me every day.

00:37:36
Speaker 4: I went scuba diving for the first time. You did Scooba lesson, and I put my head under and immediately I went into jiu jitsu mode. I was like, oh, like I wanted to panic because my heads under the water, and like, you know what I mean, I've never done that, And all of a sudden, I was like, oh jujitsu mode, and I was fine, and I came back up and the guy was like, oh, you've done juj You've done this before, and I go, no, I do jiu jitsu, and he goes, oh yeah, yeah, it.

00:37:57
Speaker 1: Was like you saw it. Yes.

00:37:59
Speaker 2: It very much helps Easton when at some point I want to get you to take a class.

00:38:03
Speaker 6: Even though I would be down, because I like the mental point of it as well.

00:38:07
Speaker 5: That's the thing you can kind of goose fraba in very goose. Guys have never heard that in Anger Management.

00:38:14
Speaker 6: No, yeah, n no, Jack Nicholson, Nicholas Jack nickl.

00:38:21
Speaker 1: Jack Nicholson, Anger Management.

00:38:24
Speaker 6: And the guy's freaking out and he goes goose fraba.

00:38:28
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

00:38:31
Speaker 6: Yeah, but yeah no, I like that's where I like that mental where you're getting number one, you learn to defend yourself, and then number two you're getting like longevity of mental, pushing yourself to four eight.

00:38:45
Speaker 4: Not to bite too much off. There's a small podcaster name Joe Rogan.

00:38:49
Speaker 3: Ever heard him?

00:38:50
Speaker 1: I've never heard of that.

00:38:51
Speaker 3: Joe little tiny. But Joe is also a tenth on a black belt.

00:38:54
Speaker 2: I don't know if you know, I do know got he got his black belt at tenth ave.

00:38:59
Speaker 3: Hover but not to fight off him too much.

00:39:01
Speaker 4: But it's a very accurate statement that Joe is like, you learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. You also because jiu jitsu is like driving a car downhill with no breaks while wrestling a baby bear.

00:39:14
Speaker 5: Fun.

00:39:15
Speaker 3: That's the quote.

00:39:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true, it's true, but you can manage.

00:39:20
Speaker 4: It, but you learn to be like, yeah, I got it, that's fun.

00:39:23
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god.

00:39:25
Speaker 2: Okay, so you guys, before we get in to I Donna, I just want you to mention a couple organizations you're part of, and then I would like you to get into before we get into ach and relief. You have a very strong feelings on me almost getting abducted by the guy in the van and Lisa's bow tying incident.

00:39:46
Speaker 1: So can you tell us a few of the.

00:39:47
Speaker 2: Organizations you're part of and sort of our listeners are amazing in fars as far as they're like, oh my god, I want to help, I want to look it up, I want to share.

00:39:56
Speaker 1: So yeah.

00:39:57
Speaker 4: So the organizations that I have directly under me, I certify coaches, self defense coaches under tenth Plant, Women's Self Defense or the Women's Self Defense Network. I started the Women's Self Defense Network as a way of women anywhere for them to be able to find a coach near them that is safe to train with. Okay, so women come to me and they're either certified under me or I've done a background check on them, and I can say, yes, this is a safe woman for you to go train with.

00:40:22
Speaker 1: All over the US, over the world, all of the world.

00:40:25
Speaker 2: So if someone wants to is there would they hit you up on Instagram?

00:40:29
Speaker 1: What if they're like, I want to find a coach, Ye I can.

00:40:32
Speaker 4: So I have a website called the Women's Self Defense Network. I think I have about thirty something coaches, most of them in the United States, but coaches from other places too, and my goal is to build that yeah and have it just be a huge database of self defense coaches for women. And it's not just jiu jitsu, it's other types of martial arts that we have a firearm instructor on there. So it's women's self defense. It is how can I find a woman to train with near me? And hopefully I will get enough women listen on that the women anywhere can find somebody. We also have ten Planet Women's Self Defense, which is mainly it's me and Lilah. We started it as like self defense coaches, and we teach seminars all over everywhere, and Lilah's co owner of ten Planet Paspacity, and I've worked with Generate Hope, which is an organization that saves women from human trafficking. I also work with Mayor's House in La Joya, which helps women in substance recovery.

00:41:25
Speaker 3: And so how that relates is a.

00:41:29
Speaker 4: Huge amount of women who are have addiction issues, have also been sexually assaulted. And also it's the empowerment. It's getting back in touch with your body. It's like learning to be present in your body. So all of those things are relevant.

00:41:43
Speaker 1: That's incredible, thankful for women like you, truly.

00:41:47
Speaker 2: So if anyone, I mean obviously, reach out to Donna over Instagram, check out her websites.

00:41:53
Speaker 1: All of that.

00:41:54
Speaker 2: Let's quickly before our aches and reliefs, can you please tell us why you felt so strongly about me and the guy in the van. Reminder you, guys, this was a couple episodes ago, but I basically he came up to me. He said he needed a jump, and Lisa was like, absolutely not and then the guy zoomed off. Yeah, so what do you feel about? Do you think I was actually almost taken.

00:42:15
Speaker 3: Or one thousand percent?

00:42:17
Speaker 1: Donna?

00:42:18
Speaker 4: Okay, here's the thing, ladies, ladies and children listen up and people with children. Men don't ask women for help, especially not in public.

00:42:25
Speaker 5: That is so fucking true.

00:42:27
Speaker 3: I know, Oh my.

00:42:27
Speaker 1: God, I just gotta spell.

00:42:29
Speaker 4: Yes, men don't ask women for help. And if you want to know the somebody, the intention that somebody has towards you, give them an immediate boundary and if they cross it, then you know that you can. I call it switching the bitch switch. My bitch switch is on a hair trigger. So you have to figure out where you're comfortable with your bitch switches. But something that you can do in the situation where you are in Jessica is immediately bring in another person, probably a man. Oh, I would be more than happy to give you a jump. Let me go get rab my boyfriend. He's right around the corner. And if the guy was like, oh, thanks, that'd be awesome, then he actually needed help. And if he was like, no, he doesn't want your.

00:43:02
Speaker 5: Help, because here's it.

00:43:03
Speaker 6: And it's not like I would never ask a woman for help because I know that asking them puts them in such an awkward position, like I don't want to put them so I feel like that and I feel like I'm a good dude. But I would never ask a girl unless I fucking needed it to help me, not because I don't think they can do it. I don't want to put them in a fucking weird position. Are aware, Like I don't even ask for your help. I would say do you have a boyfriend or do you know that's usually hot.

00:43:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, men, and he's just to your children. Adult men do not ask children for help, your.

00:43:35
Speaker 5: Parents if you're fucking alone. But other than that, like no.

00:43:38
Speaker 4: Most adult men will be like, where's your adult Like please? Fucking men don't ask women for help. So that's a red flag. And if somebody, if you're if you ever want to know somebody's intention, like, let's say a man is walking towards you and all of a sudden, your your gut kicks in, do one of these stop right there?

00:43:56
Speaker 1: If he stops, he's at least.

00:43:58
Speaker 4: Willing to listen to what you have to say, and you can set some boundaries with him. If he walks right through that.

00:44:03
Speaker 5: You you need to.

00:44:05
Speaker 1: It's a red flag. It's a red flag.

00:44:07
Speaker 4: You know, obviously can't speak for every single situation, but it's a red flag. If you set immediate boundaries with somebody and they do not respect them, they will continue to like cross lines with you.

00:44:18
Speaker 1: Right.

00:44:19
Speaker 2: Damn, that is so important to hear And the fact that it hit me so hard that you said that, and I'm thirty three years old. Yeah, like hear that, women, children, all of it.

00:44:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, what about the most yea at least a story.

00:44:33
Speaker 3: Same thing with the boundaries.

00:44:34
Speaker 4: Your mom did a great job with it by not giving them something to argue about. That doesn't really make me comfortable? Can you remind us? So it was a woman who asked her to put a bow in her hair. All you have to be is that doesn't really make me comfortable. You just gave an adult person a boundary. Okay, watch how they respond.

00:44:49
Speaker 1: To it, and if they keep pushing, then that's.

00:44:52
Speaker 4: Something if you like, go back and look at some of my Instagram things. I do like these little one minute motivations. One thing that I wish women would learn how to say is you are making me uncomfortable, because a decent person will listen to you say that and immediately acknowledge it. I'm sorry, right.

00:45:07
Speaker 1: Damn oh, I love you.

00:45:10
Speaker 2: Okay, wait you guys, before I can relieve Donna, what are you gonna.

00:45:14
Speaker 1: Teach Easton or me? By the way, I'm a dummy.

00:45:18
Speaker 2: So he can do if you're teaching rear naked choke, he can do it to me. Or is there something you're like everyone should know how to do this?

00:45:24
Speaker 1: What are you thinking? I don't think there's a move that like is like I don't.

00:45:28
Speaker 4: That's a that's a big thing. Okay, that's the one thing that I need to know. You need to know all of juice, all of it.

00:45:33
Speaker 3: I don't know, Easton, What is there a body part that you want to learn how to break?

00:45:37
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm.

00:45:40
Speaker 5: Like, I don't know. Like, could we see if you get jokes.

00:45:45
Speaker 3: A wrist? Okay?

00:45:47
Speaker 1: So okay, so.

00:45:50
Speaker 3: The cameras on.

00:45:51
Speaker 4: Okay, So look, here's Eastern bigger and stronger than me. He's always going to be bigger and stronger than me.

00:45:56
Speaker 1: I will probably never get.

00:45:58
Speaker 4: I will probably never get to win in a size I probably I'm five ft one, so trust me. Okay, if I'm never going to be able to be stronger than you, but I can be smarter than the structure of your body.

00:46:13
Speaker 3: Fair. So let's say I'm just gonna let's.

00:46:16
Speaker 1: Say you just grab it.

00:46:17
Speaker 5: I'm coming to grab you.

00:46:18
Speaker 3: Can you guys see this?

00:46:19
Speaker 5: Okay?

00:46:19
Speaker 1: So all girls, ladies.

00:46:22
Speaker 4: People, if you've ever been like at a night clever or a party or whatever it needs to get let me talk to you. Let me talk to you the camere, let me talk to you group. Right, So if we just get into a tug of war.

00:46:32
Speaker 3: You're gonna win. You're gonna when you're because you're bigger and stronger than me.

00:46:35
Speaker 4: But if I can turn my thumb towards the opening of your fingers and I can take my elbow and put it on your watch, what's gonna happen is I am going.

00:46:45
Speaker 3: To go for the weak part of your wrist. Then you won't be able to hold on to me.

00:46:49
Speaker 1: So you're gonna bop hold on to me.

00:46:53
Speaker 5: And I really am.

00:46:59
Speaker 4: No that fuck, because the human wrist only been so far no matter how big and strong you are.

00:47:03
Speaker 3: Now, if you're standing up, can we stand up?

00:47:05
Speaker 5: Can you? Yeah?

00:47:05
Speaker 3: You got something?

00:47:06
Speaker 1: Okay, you can know you can take them off?

00:47:09
Speaker 3: Okay, so come here. See I'm a midget.

00:47:13
Speaker 1: Wait they can see. Oh my god, look how Georgie.

00:47:18
Speaker 3: No, stand up? That's fine.

00:47:20
Speaker 5: So I'm coming to take.

00:47:22
Speaker 4: You and no, it's like I will let me talk to your situation, right, So just stay right there.

00:47:26
Speaker 3: If I can.

00:47:27
Speaker 4: Close the distance between your wrist and your body, I can take away how strong you are. So I'm just gonna keep walking towards you until I can put my elbow on your watch.

00:47:36
Speaker 1: And then you're gonna what and then I'm gonna I.

00:47:39
Speaker 3: Call that the excuse.

00:47:42
Speaker 6: Yeah.

00:47:42
Speaker 4: So, like if you've ever come to any of myself seminars self defense, seminars Defense seminar, I call this the excuse me, sir. You gotta hey, let me talk to you. Right, I'm gonna move closer. I'm going to put my elbow on your watch.

00:47:58
Speaker 10: Oh, she though, And I like that because if they think they got you, and then once you do that, it's almost like a switch where you're like, oh my god, she's kind of crazy, where you don't want to go back and go, well, no.

00:48:10
Speaker 5: Fucking came here.

00:48:11
Speaker 4: Like if you turn around and like you're happy with what you're saying, that also kind.

00:48:15
Speaker 1: Of works in your favor.

00:48:17
Speaker 3: Have ever told you how I met my husband?

00:48:18
Speaker 4: I'll leave you guys on this because it'll give you a good idea of my personality. I met my husband at a bar because I kicked him.

00:48:28
Speaker 1: What do you mean walk past me?

00:48:30
Speaker 4: Yes, karate, he walked past me and I saw him and I was like, yes, and so I just I reached over and I just I like, I like, I kicked him pretty hard and he turned around. My husband's like he's a beefy guy. He is big, and he turned around.

00:48:44
Speaker 3: He goes, excuse me, miss, you just kicked me.

00:48:47
Speaker 1: I know.

00:48:49
Speaker 5: I would have.

00:48:52
Speaker 6: Oh, I would have needed to change my shirts. I don't like this is the one I just walked through.

00:48:58
Speaker 5: Nobody touches me.

00:49:00
Speaker 1: That's cute. I got that.

00:49:03
Speaker 5: That's a good meat story.

00:49:04
Speaker 6: Thank you.

00:49:05
Speaker 1: That is so okay.

00:49:06
Speaker 2: So before we get into ake and relieve you guys, I want to mention, well, I need to do another thing with you, Donna.

00:49:12
Speaker 1: This was so fun.

00:49:12
Speaker 2: But she you host the Femvasions, so keep up with I always share them. The Femvasians is basically just like a well you quickly say what it is.

00:49:21
Speaker 4: The Invasion is a three day women's jiu jitsu camp and you are going to come and train with some amazing women. It's always taught by tenth Planet black belt women. There's only twenty six women in the world that have tenth Planet black belts. So each camp we have we feature different coaches and it's three days. But the most important part is the sisterhood that comes out of it. You come like you were there last weekend. It's just like this amazing vibe of like doing jiu jitsu all weekend and meeting girls and like because most of the time women start jiu jitsu and they're the only one. There's like three or something like that, and it's really lonely when you're like the white belt girl. And it's really also hard when you're when you're tiny because you don't have a lot of training partners. Myself, Leilasmanja, and Heather Joe Clark all started this camp so that we could provide a place for the community of women. And it was really a very selfish way to bring the tenth Planet of black belt women together. We were just like, how can we get everybody together in so we can hang out. And we were like, let's let's create the space for all the women of tenth Planet and all the women of jujitsu, Like women can come who don't train a tenth Planet, just so.

00:50:24
Speaker 1: That we have the like this cool sisterhood club.

00:50:26
Speaker 2: It's beginner friendly, like I said, right, I mean you can all the teachers and the coaches are amazing, so beginner friendly for sure.

00:50:35
Speaker 1: It was a lot of fun. We'll keep you guys updated.

00:50:38
Speaker 2: We're gonna pop into the aches and reliefs of the week. I gave Donna heads up. She's I mean, she's a listener obviously, so she knows. But Easton, Well, we usually do our guests last, so you guys can have a beat to think, so we can start with you me, and then we'll do Donna.

00:50:55
Speaker 6: Okay, my ache has been this heat. I can there's just nothing that I can do. I walk outside, I'm tired, the.

00:51:03
Speaker 5: Sleeping is hot.

00:51:04
Speaker 6: So this heat has really stuff, a whole lot of stuff. I just got no energy.

00:51:09
Speaker 5: So that's my egg. But it's getting cooler, so here we go. And then my relief is baby.

00:51:14
Speaker 6: Oh baby, we can say it right, So yeah, it's so Sosa, so so her name, so she's the best.

00:51:24
Speaker 5: That's my relief.

00:51:25
Speaker 2: Stunning, Okay, I love that. My ache of the week. You guys, it's the twenty fifth, so I will be.

00:51:33
Speaker 1: Competing again on Sunday.

00:51:35
Speaker 2: Yes, who grappling eggs temeculate it's fart but so that's not an ache. But I'm assuming by now I will be maybe a little achy. So hopefully I just take my gummies and I can chill and I'm excited.

00:51:50
Speaker 1: Donna, it can relieve.

00:51:52
Speaker 4: Just to be clear, the eggs are like super first worldy problems right, oh one hundred.

00:51:56
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm just making sure usually, so.

00:52:00
Speaker 4: My ache is I am I'm so exhausted because there's so many amazing things happening, Like like.

00:52:10
Speaker 3: I'm all puppy right now.

00:52:11
Speaker 1: I'm so because you've just been doing so many fun.

00:52:14
Speaker 3: Things, so many things going on.

00:52:15
Speaker 4: I had to drive up for this podcast to buy a new car this week, but I am puffy because of that.

00:52:24
Speaker 8: So.

00:52:26
Speaker 3: Thank you. So that's.

00:52:30
Speaker 4: My god, all those things too, Like there's I am so grateful. There's so many amazing things happening in my life right now. Invasion happened. My husband and I got a new car. He was by drunk driver, so the.

00:52:46
Speaker 1: Bad, bad bad, but he's okay.

00:52:48
Speaker 4: He's okay, but we got a new car, so I'm like, don't drink and drive you days, don't And then you know, I got to come in here and hang out with you guys today and were sitting in the world, so like good.

00:53:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm just so puffy because of it.

00:53:02
Speaker 1: You're not.

00:53:04
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm so puffy because they just got massages all day and I'm exhaust so hard. Oh my god, Well, thank you so much for coming on Donna, We love you.

00:53:14
Speaker 1: This has been fun.

00:53:16
Speaker 2: We've had so many with just like a couple, you know how it is. You get a couple of trolls and then the freaking sweethearts flood in and say all the nicest things.

00:53:26
Speaker 1: So thank you all. I'm not great at getting back to d ms, but just know I'll see them and they make my day.

00:53:33
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's really because it opening it ruin my day.

00:53:37
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly.

00:53:39
Speaker 5: Rude.

00:53:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, when I had I had a podcast and like, yeah, you know, you know where the worst people live.

00:53:45
Speaker 3: Comments, You.

00:53:47
Speaker 2: Guys proved Donna wrong. Get in those YouTube comments and give us all the nice stuff.

00:53:53
Speaker 5: Everybody who's dm us nice things. Thank you. Try to read it. If it was rude, you ruined my day, you ruined.

00:53:59
Speaker 1: No, don't get there, you are just be nice. We love you. How does Lala usually sign off?

00:54:06
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening to the Give Them Lalla podcasts. Please make sure to check out our YouTube channel where our videos launch. Our full videos launch every Friday and full episodes.

00:54:19
Speaker 1: I'm looking at producer John every Wednesday and like subscribe.

00:54:24
Speaker 6: And commit the notification bell notification we dropped the podcast.

00:54:32
Speaker 1: Yes and drink your water and stay hydrated.

00:54:36
Speaker 5: And everybody in the cold States that's getting.

00:54:39
Speaker 1: Cold now, Lucky you get autumn. Okay, I know anyway.

00:54:45
Speaker 5: Live in a place that skips all the shitty seasons.

00:54:47
Speaker 1: Can we love you? Signing off, have a good day.

00:54:50
Speaker 5: Bye,