Revisiting WWE SmackDown! 2007 Teddy Long’s Wedding Leads To Heart Attack, Ying Yang Twins and Jagged Edge

Damn boys. Until Welcome to the Podcast, episode number two hundred and forty
two. We are back once again. WWE Friday Night SmackDown September twenty first,
two thousand and seven. Hooray. No, this is the season premiere
of one of many of a SmackDown in two thousand and seven. I don't
know how they line those up or it's just for fun. I'm sure there's
an actual run of television premiere. It's like a season. I don't know
how to explain. It's a television thing. I see. Don't you understand
that God did think about television season on television? He explained it to eloquently,
and I said it so well, well, you're a small bridge just
wouldn't understand it. So it's hard to explain this to you. I wasn't
watching back Down this time, son, so none of us were, Huh.
I don't think so. No, I was. If I was watching
anything, it was raw, like you know Friday. I was fucking aiming
with the boys. I watch it. Are you kidding me? I'm not
watching this? Are you kidding me? But James, this is you know
a bit, it's a season premiere. It's right, it's the after the
pay per view that they just had, and it is the wedding of one
Theodore Long and Crystal. I don't think she's Marshall Marshall, Okay, Marshall
Marshall and Theodore rufus Long, are you yes, sir? And I mean
what a beautiful what a beautiful wedding it is. But we'll get into that
of course before we do not like at any sense right now now, before
we get into uh that, So we have the updates. Watch this is
up on the Patreon. Young Bucks versus Brian and Roddy from EG this Uh
this is funny as though, yeah, it's actually better. Did we read
the excerpt from the book You've read it at the end? Yes, you
do, okay, So it includes the excerpt from the book, The Young
Bucks Book about this match here. So yeah, which is you know,
if you don't know, then you should check it out because it's it's legendary
to us, and I'm sure it'll become of legend to you if you aren't
familiar. That's in the final hour tier on our Patreon. The retro sync
is up on the Patreon. It is the two thousand and four Thanksgiving SmackDown
with Luther Rain. Dude, what a god damn one of a legendary episodes.
Yeah, that was a fun time. I remember that one. Yeah,
Luther Rain's being let out of jail. That's like a legendary one to
me. You know what's funny is we do so many of these, so
like a lot of things, like I just it just leaves my brain.
But the fucking seven days a week or whatever, working twenty seven hours a
day or whatever with the Pece, that one, for some reason, like
it's still there for me, Like, yeah, it meets a good one
me too. It's a tremendous one and you can relive it right now with
the Retro sinc on our Patreon. That's in a ten dollars tier. Also
in the ten dollars tier this month uf C four Baby my god, wow
you guys are you guys are not ready for that? All the way?
I was just sweating watching like go's gonna jump through the screen. I break
my MICC. Yeah, what the hell is that? You got so fired
up? You know, this should happened to James, you know what just
happens? Fuck you all right? It's crazy? How dare you say that?
The same team, the team that's crazy. James side with that?
What the fuck? So DPW no pressure happened this past weekend? Holy ship?
It did? That was fun? Maybe, dude, that was awesome.
It was Tayla Air Alive on dk W on demand. Uh this weekend
of for DPW on demand dot com. You know all the other ones.
I'm done telling you where to go, know where to go, and you
will go there and you will watch it. Thank you. It's your fucking
fault at this point. If you don't know, and I don't know yet,
sorry, you'll know in a minute. All right, now it's time
for the Patreon shoutouts. Segment is a serious segment. I know a minute,
Starry, it's here. Robert Hall, Jillie Norman. I am the
Herminator. I met the Dictator of the world and he said, past the
stinky og Alaskan thunder funk and I said, okay, or maybe wow,
that sounds good. I peaked at James over the bathroom stall at Denny's.
It looked like a pink baby bird in a nest made of twizzlers. You
just had a small that also would work, buddy, Wait, black twizzlers.
That's fucking crazy man. Black bluz are disgusting, do they? That's
called licorice. Yeah, I guess that's what twizzler. Don't you say that
you're Tony, don't he? He smirks, the good name of Twizzler.
I'm sorry. James is a serial gas lighter. Johnny is a victim.
Tony is an enabler justice from blood to First of all, it's not good
James, right, Your little James would be his best. This is bad,
guys. That was a bit that wasn't bad to James man two three
two four. Why do people always yell at the driver? I was taking
an order once and all I hear is what Timothy Dickerson, Kristin Potter,
Chris Brady, Geo Colado pull for the boys right back to d b W.
Yes no or retire, yes, yes, it would be the dog
doing or whatever. Dog. Just watch big Stevie balls snoops dogs commentary at
WrestleMania. Cock we just sittings in the Jets dogs commentary. I enable you
to big boy Jets serially light you up. I'm going to disable you.
Austin the speed longer deep throating a slim gym in the long Boys section for
l A Night. Yeah. At the show, James, I know you
didn't watch. They had the long boy section. They had the deep threating
long Boys. Yeah. Kyle Murphy, Harley, uh, Kua Tari.
I don't know if he was sound. That sounds good regardless, Harley,
that sounds awesome. Town down a town, No, you were read the
first time. A town down. It's a story. Wow, he's just
talking to you, mother fucking fuddy. Countdown downtown ship. That is real
ship, moussad, average elite enjoyer. Jimmy Hart doing the Gringo killer to
Zach Gowan on the apron. It's huge pot, it's my uh. From
twenty eight to twenty thirteen, Rockstar Games dropped g t A four mid Night
Club l A l Air, Max Paine three and g t A five Yeah,
last two or mid huh you love her physiness was good at the end
there Liger two five four is enjoying this streak of good retro shows. Sorry,
Harrison final here now it's time to honor Mets veterans. Later. You
got it all the Thames, Yeah, lick my boll down down Yeah,
Michael rich O rich that was good all right, I mean that feels right.
No, rich O excellent. Yeah. I was thinking like it was
like you know b E A or what is it you? Yeah, like
the ox Yeah yeah, oh yeah, Richard Richie, Michael, Andrew Daniels,
Oliver did Hotville Bell. That's sexy. Tell me what do you do
to you? That guy's sucking this guy Tony's deck the porch balcony name Ali
Satastic, Ken Houston, Nick Gray Caine with the voice box singing, Ohio
is for lovers, skot Buster Day of Reckoning to soundtrack on the cover,
Let's Go Yeah and the Neude Game Deadlock five dollars Tier Champion of Rising four
Bisexual Undertaker of the Judgment Day j Rock seven seven seven. I feel like
that's a made up title. He's got the new mid court belt for some
reason. When he made up his new belt, he made himself a mid
He's modest to the top at the top. Michael Wright, Jay the Foundation
read applying for DPW. You don't give him a freaking Paul Williams cougar Madly
Philly Sean. She called me shadder worse sausage the way I got that cheese
up and dumb my my girlfriend died. My my dick made her doo Bny.
Oh my god, I don't see any of that coming. Wow recipes,
girlfriend, Wow, this is deadlock James, Johnny and Tovey the best
week of some days all the time. This is like I smell that butter
crazy style. I hit that double percolator Bonga icon g comes with offerings of
ice code drinks, ten dogs here, numb Chicken, big Ufenstein, Johnson
is cumrag Mark Krupecky Junior. I'm Dracula, I'm twelve million years old.
My due cuttie, leather trench coat, bright red. I like ten million.
Godhead's fucking w st choppy lord head ass The four Sadie Babe y'all played
plants versus zom Be's before dude answered the question A trickster. Travis Smith,
Josh Ferrell, Jcobe twelve twenty seven. Yeah, I swerve when I come.
I need that money, I really do. I need that money to
pay my bills. The electric bill there that bill w Champions Bill Ran Dreamon,
Finnrod, Christopher thom sam O nine Neon Monkey wanted a Miss Chick Magnet
shirt. If I could go back in time, I'd stomp myself out.
Okay, True TV champion Lobster Guatanamala again, another mid Cauard title. Ty
Sosa Slinky Dinky, Austin Gibbs Aquamarine Cream teen, Justin McKenzie, Brandon,
Devin Brown, Brendan Riley, James Thompson, Isaac Hardy, Blue Jet,
she Pastamnia on my Sidebread to my Daddy, bad Irene Jack Tollerton again,
they call me d J Bonner Why Babian Lopez, Sledge Underscore Super the m
f d Z, Tyler Harrison, William Bowers. Yeah, the great goddamn
Tony Tony. I'm sorry, Tommy, just sell there's a nice guy here,
Tommy. Tony is a fart smeller. I'm sorry. That's me is
a sorry. I ripped the joke earlier. Tony is a smart Sorry.
I'm sorry. I like this joke too. It's a funny joke. The
fucking camera striking Hey last a little life. Yeah, I enabled you to
say that, Jad Enable Donny, you are a smart fella. I'll tell
you that about. James is a farts ella and Joe is Christopher gob Reira.
It feels like it should be Caberra, but it's not you think it
is. Cobby Cabrera, Yeah right, it feels weird, Yeah, yeah,
yeah. The shirtless Harris Brothers throwing shoot haymakers at Mike Mzanian awesome in
the two thousand and eight about a choke on two thousand eight Rozzone Art Jimmerson
style. I don't know what I right there. There's a lot of ship
going on there. Louke Crowther, Greg Adam jackpot El Presidente. Yeah,
Savvy McFly baby. That's a beast right there. Jatavian Walker, Sam Johnson
Flabber has an appointment. No, no, it's one Britain. Willie Jakes,
Herschel Walker colure them dogs as hell, don't they up? Hour at
nine to nine? Joe Ryan Nicholson in Joe of Deadline, Pena Montez,
Branden Goudy, Jervis, Jared Whiteley, Oba Fimi versus BoJack would feed families,
Dan Reikert's five point nine inch pale Chubb, Lan Lloyd, I'm sorry,
Lane Lloyd E c W Chris r. E Y, Mister Dylan Flag.
A man who never eats pork bun is never a whole man. That's
from something man. What I played it a sleeping dogs. Maybe that's gotta
be from something. There's no way sleeping dogs, is it? I think
so? Sleep yeah, sleep, it's gotta be sleeping dogs. You know
what locking it in? What is sleeping dogs? You're right? Am I
right? You're right? Yeah? God man, let's go. So is
the man OTF. Novak, twenty seventy seven, d Max Studios, Ultimate
Glacier but boobies legend, she cuts on my the fuck to like camera khalifh
Jones redacted, Rico Flair, Old Man Wisdom, maybe day Zachary Steven two
tone Moonstone. A beer in a Dona is a crazy combo Homer is a
sick man. Holmes, what's wrong with you? Why do you keep choking?
Barf? He is your son? This is the Deadlock broadcast The Mizaction.
Richard the Penis Johnson asked how your lips and moments of the night brought
to you by Rikishi as cream Oh, marvelous Barista or maybe not brother S
Dog fifty C, Mark Bojarski, Chubby pencil Penis. That's a crazy name,
Chubby Coin. No, it's a pencil. Thomas Sanchez. I'm sorry,
Yeah, that's not good. That's all good, Herbie Gioli, Chris
Brady, Cody Rose hold On, Now, wow, co Wata kicks.
That's not right, co Wata kicks. But fitting on in my subway,
Meatball marion Era call that a jizzy dizzy subway slam. Witch that I'm not
going to subway man, sure, yeah, no fucking way. I don't
even care if there's fit in subway. I'm not going to somebody. But
I saw a kick. I think two things. I think deadlock is cool.
I think dual smells. I think Tony still got that Gardener's cocks th
sa Mere Chase Richard's son. Wait a minute, where have I seen this
name before? Every single week for the past. How he does it again?
Thank you, Simone Hanson. John Blood does not smell, or maybe
he does. Brother, We'll have to see Alexander Adair Ski Woe Jack Katilla
fucking man Agan versus the whole fucking show, Rob Van Damon a fucking on
the whole match alright, man, goddamn Andrews, Spurrell, l Animes,
Henry Burns, fifty mateo Quinn, Jacob Humbarger. I was gonna say,
I say, Hamburger crazy I saw the you super late. It was gonna
be Hamburger. Can we call you Quinn Jacob Hamburger because people call you that,
I know, so it's called Yeah, let me know. Uh Jatavian
Gibson trout blah blah blahbody hell. That was this morning and my boy Gub
Gub joined the the lobby. He got you to the mission. That's fair.
It's against the bots under dude. Oh my god, we'll have to
talk about the death of Friday thirteenth after this. Yeah, sad day.
Malik Oliver Bank Greasy Court in two thousand and one, Sam Real Johnson,
Cock the Dick. What I'm like Rakishi, but instead of having a fat,
smelly dump truck, ass I smoke Newports, Fuck Jesse Sarah hitting the
gritty at Pearl Harbor with the Master Chief Dictator, Dick the Cock Johnson and
Demo Dick Marsenko. This is horrible. Gilbert Finch, C. J.
Newman Jr. Dick Sucks cock the strong Way Johnson style. Yeah, take
that your weather be r F S. Yeah. Austin Valdez, Alex Omega,
huh oh my is it them? Could this be mister p I Steaker
p I Steaker, oh peace taker on God Unknown x twenty dollars twelve dollars.
Okay, so no one want to be in the twenty dollars here?
Fuck you guys really love that? Who you love that deal? John Annual,
Joseph Schimowski sixty dollars Annual, Drew Howard Annual, Michael Jennings, You
go, Michael Drew and the new Patreon Champion of the World at sixty nine
sixty nine follow me on twitch at hitting her with that DP on the toilet
period style calls a couple John Blood Brothers. Yeah, this is the first
time we're stripping somebody at the champions to Ron wow vacd title, Jacob Hey,
thank you all so much really also Ronald plus for for James for just
not dying through that. Yeah, that was impressive. I got to give
it to you, buddy. Can we take a quick moment to say rip
to Friday thirteenth please? Well, yeah, man, Friday the thirteenth died.
You're right, yeah man? That uh, I mean a very short
lived run here for the years ago guys to break the new it had a
rebirth and then also a quick death, which might I mean you could attribute
to James tweeting out the link to it. Really we could, really James
was talking about it hit segment. Yeah, I mean it was a a
segment. All right, this is what Tony enabled. It actually is what
happened. This is okay, look that's not what happened. What actually happened
is IGN made an article about some other mod and then they went on a
mod spree and killed all the Friday the Thirteenth moods. For the people who
don't know the fuck we're talking about. Yeah, we should have explain a
little better. Years ago, there was a game that came out. I
think Illphonic and Gun made it, and it was fucking Friday the Thirteenth video
game. It was awesome. Was an asymmetric horror game. You were a
bunch of survivors trying to run away from Jason Voorhees and a whole bunch of
Jason's They all do different they have a different abilities and teleport. You can
talk to Jason or you could talk back that the PROCs chat was really what
made the game. That was the best. Yeah. Yeah, and being
able to kill your teammates. I know that sound was awesome, ridiculous but
it is such a huge part of like having the shotgun. If you can
let that go, it's the most fun thing ever. Yeah, it's awesome,
Like fuck fuck actually playing the game. You actually want to play the
game, you go play Dead by daylight, you know. Yeah, I
mean, if you want to have a good time, you played Friday at
thirteenth And that's what made it fun. But anyways, the game died because,
of course, as soon as they fucking released it, and it was
a fucking hit right off the bat, like everyone was enjoying it. It
was it was over, yeah, popping crazy. Of course, there's a
fucking Friday thirteenth lawsuit because the guy that originally wrote the first movie wanted rights
to something or something. I don't know. All I know is that the
game fucking died. Uh and it never recovered and then it actually really did
die, Super died, Super died until there was a glimpse of hope.
Yeah. So ten years later, I guess they started making mods of the
game because the game they're shutting down the servers soon. But yeah, you
know, the game was fun, and they had a bunch of content they
had already fucking made, like they already made all the Jason X stuff that
everyone's waiting for. They're waiting for Jason and and the Grendel map and all
that shit, but the lawsuits shut it all down. They couldn't release any
of it and they couldn't make any more content. But yeah, it died
of course because of that. But anyways, the mods came out yet,
Like Johnny was saying, we were playing the complete edition and like playing around
with all the content and ship, like it had all the shooting locks,
so it had like Savini Jason I never had on the original game, and
like, yeah, all that stuff, and I thought that was cool,
and it kind of hurt my feelings going back and playing it because I I
played it so much when it was out originally religiously. Yeah, I played
it like all the fus time, and my heart was broken when it died,
and my heart was also broken when they took away Team killing. Dude,
I don't give a fun if I got the shotguns. You should allow
me to de sign you. Sorry, Yeah, man, come on,
man, and that's hey, will it be Jason's mom when Killer when Killer
Clowns comes out? Dude, I'm excited. I saw the Revolver already.
If I can't kill my teammates with a revolver, shut the game down.
Yeah, it's gotta be a free for all. It's got to bend.
I'm getting a refund if that's the case. Yeah. I do like that.
You can kill the clowns with a gun, that is fucking hell.
You can beat them to smithereens with a pipe too. Yeah, look listen,
look here. Seriously, though, you should be able to shoot the
gun at your teammates and it needs to be prox chat. That was the
coolest thing on Friday the thirteenth was the prolege of that. Dude. I
love that. Even when we were just playing the complete it was like it
felt right that brox I was in there, and like, I mean there
was there was one lobby that we played with. The host was like super
mad at James for some reason. Oh no, he thought it was team
I thought you were. You weren't even taming, you were just trying to
kill somebody. Yeah. There was some kid that was talking and he was
like on the mic. And usually if someone's if I'm the killer and someone's
on the mic and they're like not role playing, but they're playing along with
what I'm not gonna I'm not gonna solo them. Yeah, I'm not gonna
go after them because I want I want to play with them the whole interact.
Yeah, and so I went after the other person who wasn't talking,
and of course it's the fucking host of the lobby, and they have a
big dick about it. Oh, show this lob be done. I don't
get the fuck. First off, you shut the lobby down, you want
Second off, you're gonna die now. Yeah, they did something that pissed
me off to I don't remember what it was. And yeah, they just
got They got railed for the next hour. Dude, they got railed and
then they got fucking every game after that, everyone in the lobby anytime they
were like Survivor, they were going after them first every time Webby, Yeah,
no one was teaming. You're being an asshole. Your flexing, fucking
leadership role is just annoying. Man. Shut up. There was another guy
that came in when James was hosting a lobby and was like, hey,
can I get a host And we were like yeah, they left and made
another lobby and we just didn't go with them. Oh yeah, yeah,
Like, dude, we're all playing on three hundred ping. No one here
cares. Yeah, and like he was like you piks be, I'm make
a new lobby. You do whatever you want, man, but we're just
stay here. We did say it was funny as fund. Yeah, there
was a kid that we met, dude was he was the funniest kid ever.
I think he's where do he live? He was, he's from Serbian
kid. Yeah, he was on that Serbian time and he was nuts.
Dude. Yeah. The first time we got into a game with this kid,
he just came in and all rip, we're just bullshitting and he goes
wow nausey. But we all started doing we riant to him like a couple
of days in a row. Yeah, I think I think the first time
it happened, we were just in the game and we, like Jason started
he said he learned English from watching scary movies. He did say that.
Yeah, that's pretty nuts. Actually, yeah, man, there was a
lot of Serbian people playing. Actually guess because we were playing at five am.
Yeah, yeah, I imagine saying. And it's not like a lot
of people knew about the mod. They shut it down. Then of course
they went for the other mods. I mean, the complete edition made the
dumb ass mistake of posting they didn't get us, and then of course and
then they got them. Why did you do that? We we got Yeah,
but it was dope as fuck. I'm glad we got to mess around
with Jason X. And like I never got to experience that, so like
that was like, yeah, that was such a because Jason X is my
favorite one out of all the all the movies. So I'm glad you got
to fucking play Jason X though. That's that's at least you got some kind
of swan song at the end of that. Yeah, that's cool as ship.
I'm excited to do the Killer clown Game though, and we all you
guys have to watch the movie. Yeah, I'm gonna watch it with you
here soon. Yeah. You gotta let people know what you think of the
Killer Clowns movie too. I'll do I'll do it. Eighties cheesy b horror.
I was telling them about it because, like I saw it because I
rented it from movie theater I was young. I was like, oh shit,
you thought it was a comedy. Yeah, well this is I've always
seen it. I've seen it in the like Blockbuster or whatever back in the
day, and I never rented it once. Yeah, dude, it was
like a It was like a fucking cult classic of the video rental store.
Yeah, it was. It was always there. That sucking clown cover's crazy.
I'll definitely I will check it out. If not, then you can
force me to check it out when these many times, I'm gonna see you
here soon. Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah, I'll but yeah.
Rest in peace of the Friday thirteenth game. R I P. You didn't
deserve to die. You never know, you never know when there's will as
a way, right. I mean there could be another underground swell that pops
up again that maybe people use the assets and kill it Clouds Friday assets and
throw me to kill Clouds shut down too. That'd be good. I don't
talk about it if we if experience it, don't ever mention it ever on
Twitter. If anyone has the iggy for the next variation of Friday thirteenth,
definitely don't tell us, you know, tell James to tweet about it.
Day. James was tweeting at Jason Voor He's on Twitter. It's fun up,
okay, Jason? All right, now it is time to get into
WWE Friday Night SmackDown September twenty first, two thousand and seven. Was there
any part of that that you enjoyed saying or thinking about all of it?
Oh, that's good SmackDown? Yeah, yeah, so SmackDown. This is
the Teddy Long and Crystal Marshall Wedding season premiere smacked on here. I will
say this much, boys, I don't think any of us have any attachment
to this era, so we're pretty uh impartial coming into it. I think
yeah, no, I was. I actually came in positively, I'll tell
you that much. I was like, oh, this sounds fun and I
will try to enjoy this and uh, we'll get you don't understand that yet.
Yeah, But before we get into that, a very short look here
at the observers from the time, because we've not only talked about this era
a bit, just to refresh everybody's memory here, this is the time where
everyone is on a list of people that were taking steroids that got leaked to
something like from a doctor or legendedly know it happened for sure, that happened
that era. It was like, we are, yeah, I think it
is coming back. I think yeah, for sure, but yeah, we
talked about a lot. So there's only two things here, sadly to talk
about. But I thought they were funny, and they're from our good friend
Brian Alvarez. Of course, nay. From the Figure for a Weekly,
September twenty four seven, Brian Alvarez, right, Dixie Carter was on TNA
today this week discussing life in TNA. Alvara says, God bless the woman.
She said, ten A was getting what it deserved, going to two
hours. Alvare says, I have no idea what to make of that statement.
I want to know what I did to deserve it, So just stay
in the course. Here is what do you complain about it? He hated
TNA. He so kids, fine, right, like this is not even
like a notoriously shitty year was Oh no, I don't think so. From
the Figure Flour The last thing here from the Figure Floor Weekly, October first,
two seven. I just a little. I don't know if we talked
about this before, but it was fucking absurd to me to read here about
of course, Andrew the test the punish of the martin who recently was released
from TNA, And we talked about that before because the rumor was they released
him because all the steroidshit in w W that was going on that they didn't
want to have a guy that looked like Test running around all the show.
Yeah, sexy, good, awesome, with a good move, Alva says,
with Tests being released from TNA recently, I was told the story of
why he ended up getting released from WWE. I don't know if I've heard
this ever. If you recall, he got a push on ECW leading to
a bunch of title matches with lastly the biggest Witch that took place ed roll
Rumble. He was backstage at one of the shows rehearsing a promo that he
was going to deliver live later in the evening. Stephanie does these insane rehearsals
where she has guys go over their promos time and time and time and time
again, which is why in the end they often end up sounding mechanical.
So he cut this promo and lastly a rehearsal and blew everyone's mind. Apparently
it was amazing, one of the best promos of his life. Vince was
thrilled and told him to go out there and cut the exact same promo.
So anyway, he went out there and we're told, quote unquote, he
could not have done a bigger one eighty. He ended up cutting one of
the most wretched promos of his life, at which point the decision was made
that he was useless. They booked them the lose at the pay for view
one on ECWTV the next week and then send him packing. Damn, I
gotta check out that promo. Sometimes ECW and his promos sucks so bad.
On a roster full of guys whose promos were often he said, get the
fuck out of my face. And Shannon Moore staring to a camera weekly and
they said, dude, get test the fuck out of here. All of
you useless is like the biggest the face of all. Yeah, you are
useless. There's nothing good about you. Put stock in somebody, especially in
that era, Like they don't want to release him because they have so much
history, and like even if you're gonna be a job guy, right,
like, at least you have the history. It's alas stick around because you
have a little credit. You've done something right, yeah, and we can
use you in that position. They said, Wow, this promo is stunk.
You got to get the fuck out of here. Man, dude,
Yeah, I mean you heard of TNA just over there. What did Test
even doing TNA? Have we talked about that? He came in, he's
like a he was like a bodyguard or something for a minute. Was there
He supposed to say it was the Punishers. He's in one match. He's
in the Doomsday Chamber of Blood Abyss Andrews Test the Martin the Punisher and Sting
against aj Styles, Christian Cage and tomco at Hard Justice O seven. Okay,
we watched that match, I think on the Patreon we've watched the show.
We've watched Doomsday of whatever in twenty companies. Actually, somehow we need
to run one of those. Somebody's been waiting for the doomsday Doomsday, one
of the first indie Doomsday Chamber whatever, and it drops a chair from the
ceiling and it somebody to dude, I heard that dream match. They come
back to life on the same show into the Abdullah They they killed them,
They killed them when they stood up and left. Bye. We watched that.
Yeah, we watched on the Patriot, Dude. The Patreon is fucking
rock and everybody there is somehow years of us watching just the most absurd ship
on our Patreon please check it. Singer Mankind that souplex the coffin lid onto
the other dude, you remember that. I think it was doing it to
gag that I think is also trying to jump on top of Abdullah as he's
getting collect this. You guys have to see this fucking match, man,
because like, yeah, it's nuts, because there's like find one one that
was there's a there's a there's a power like switch. It goes up and
down, think of like Franks nine, and it's fucking broken, and there's
a guy that has to keep pushing it back up and then it comes by
day. He's pushing it back up even when they put it, when they
turned it. When they turn it on to finish the match, he has
to pull the lever up and it pulls it down again. Dude. Yeah,
that was watched this one sixty from October. Wow, fuck hash,
that's a classic match man. That's awesome. You guys should check that out.
But yeah, I mean that's it for no real wrestling news other than
just everything is fucking bad. Everything's bad, ratings are bad, everyone's in
trouble and fuck man, and then here's fucking SmackDown and fuck to you and
yeah, of course, all right, so we kick off SmackDown. Here.
We got JBO and Michael Cole here on SmackDown. This is taped as
shit. No way, the hair dryer is all over this fucking show.
I don't really mind it. I guess if the show didn't stink like asshole.
I'm not saying this episode is the last we'll talk about it, but
I'm saying, like, you know, ah hated SmackDown. It was like,
you go there if we got nothing for you, and you can just
hang out over here. Yeah it was a show. Yeah, leg it
was just it was just a property that they had. Yeah. So we
are invited to the Teddy Long and Crystal Marshall wedding on the SmackDown season premiere.
To you are personally invited to the Rufus Long wedding. Oh maybe I'll
be one of the groomsmen. Yeah, you can sit beside Cojones to sit
next to. There's Jim Duggan. Actually Blue Chili is here, dude,
Now he's not fucking here. He's probably DNA, that asshole. So we
go to a code open. We are in Atlanta and Maria is here with
the Ying Yang Twins. Yeah, she's here with the Yanang Twins. Welcome
house to the season premiere of Friday Night SmackDown. I swear this is an
instrumental of the fucking filthy Animals then playing during the background. This whole thing
is crazy. It's a party back here there, stand in front of a
fucking set with the lights for two hours. They didn't even do the whisper
song. How do you you don't get them songs? Yeah, well,
Yanang Twins are here. Maria says, this is yan and this is Yang
or Yang and you can tell us the real names, please, Maria,
thank you. It's fucking d Rock of course. And Kane came and uh
yeah, and de Rock says, oh, it's all the same. I
had to boss the show because I was laughing so hard at him staring directly
into the camera and going Maria's trying to talk. Yeah, this was crazy.
They they thought they had a song called also that was like one of
the you see my dick, you had a song called h n h han.
Dude. That's fucking right, yeap dude, Maria says, hey,
man, we are one of the most popular guys ever. Are so over
at this time. Yeah, and most of the time they were just features
or you know what I mean, Like most of the time it wasn't even
their track that they were most popular on. Yeah, hell yeah, goddamn,
but they did. Yeah, the Whisper song was super popular. I
remember this. We lived through school with that song. Yeah, Maria says,
here we have the chairman of the board, Vincement Man, just every
fucking doing nothing. Only want are here? Did they have an album coming
out or something? Oh, here's one. In twenty thirteen, the un
Yang Twins released ass in Session and as a session t Work or Die mixed
Ship Session is good? Are the Goats two thousand and three? Man,
they had that that they were on the Little John get Load ship. That
was a ship missed New Duty. You remember that's like, yeah that Sparks
they were featured on it. They are You're right, they were featured on
a ton of ship. Yeah, dude, Bubba Sparks was he was lit
for a minute. Yeah, he was in the Death Jam. His name
was Sparks. Yeah, that was awesome. There was a porn star with
that name too, not Bubba though. Thank you for clarify. Just to
kids anybody got the right. I didn't want to think thank you, And
I'm googling. I will have to look up Bubba Sparks, beat Sports.
Know what you're doing. That's great, Booty. November, Twins released the
Graces album, The Orchard and Booty Records. I gotta tell you, that
is an awesome life that they lived. Who is doing it like these awesome
if they did it. They said we're going to day this Booty Records,
and they they were successful at it. That's awesome. That's the American dream
right there. It is, it is, that's fantastic. Wow, Collie
Park Sparks, he's doing poor. Yeah, Booty, Booty. He speaking
to myself, speaking to my soul, Sparks. But yeah, so uh,
Vince shakes their hands and he's a coach, and Maria says, oh,
I want to congratulate you on your son, and and where is he?
And this is I guess this is just right after then says my son.
We don't know where my son is, but we know where he's not.
He's not here to night and talking about Shane. At first, I'll
be honest with you, I thought so too, but yeah, because he
was, but I was like, ah, he's a little too upset about
that. Yeah, and he hates his son coaches. Yeah, that's right.
And you know what guy's talking to Yames Winds. He says, I'm
your biggest fan, and they go a says, oh, you guys are
you know the kings of country and we're on Nashville and you know, I
got all your stuff And then they're like, what King's the country? What's
fucking wrong with this guy? They're just talking to themselves right in front of
coach. Is wrong with this guy? Like one's more than him? Just
ridiculous. This really set the pace for the show for me. Yeah,
yeah, the bar coundnot be raised from here. I'll tell you that it's
fucking it's a high bar tourney. And of course we get the comic book
opening here for SmackDown Legendary. This is I don't know, I can't remember
the last time we talked about this fucking thing. It is so it is
so god last year. It had to have been a while, right,
because it's it is so goddamn funny. Dude, Caane and Finley pictures are
the best pictures I've ever seen ever, Dude, The the Batista one where
he's coming. Yeah, but Finley with big ass gap in his tooth,
is like, yeah, this is it. This is the ship. I
mean song though I got laughter and yeah break you know no, I like
this one. Yeah yeah set the vibe pretty well for SmackDown. They make
fourteen versions of this song. I'm pretty sure Drowning Pool does this at some
point. I don't know if this is Drowning on this one or not.
Collie b did not, So my dick, drop my bar and up way
do you see my SmackDown? Up beat Battista in the studio screen? Holy
ship? All right, So Michael Cole and jbl are the commentaries for night
as I mentioned before, and we opened up the show with a Batista town
hall. Batista comes out here in a suit icy as hell, just won
the world title. He beat his good friend Ray Mysterio sorry macho uh.
And he also beat the great Collie and fucking you know, good on Big
Dave here for trying to get a good squad for his entrance. Viro in
the in the suit that he was in because it looked difficult, but he
made it happen. He beat Collie I think for it right, he beat
him with a spinebuster. Yeah that's awesome. Yes, spine pounding spartan buster
called it. JB says, Batista made a colossal effort against the colossal of
a man great Cally. Of course, it was a night to remember.
And Cole says, how could you forget? And j B says, that's
what I said, it was a night to remember. Batiza gets on the
mic and the first thing he says is yeah, yeah, that's right,
that's Batisa's thing. I guess. So yeah, Patza says, you have
no idea. How good of you. I feel all dressed up, got
my new suit on, new shoes on bam, I'm in Hotlanta once again,
the world champion. Stop talking three words and already hate come yeah,
it's just lying. Yeah I don't like that. Yeah yeah. Well Mark
Henry comes out, whoa Hey style, great fucking song by the way,
three six Fiel also killing it at another fucking and he's the silver back,
yeah, which they go out of their way to say. He calls himself
proclaimed the silver back. Okay, JBL, you can stop saying that.
Sobody does honest with you. Yeah, Mark Hender says Batista could care less.
He says I could care less a lot here, which I you know
who cares actually if he says, I could a lot, but must care
a little here. I could care less about the celebration or that poon Jabi
prison match, he said, emphasis on poon for some reason shabby. But
what I do care about is next week, because the Undertaker returns the SmackDown
in a match against me. I said, how many how many fucking shows
do we gotta watch where Undertaker's returning? How many returns does this guy haden
loses, he's returning, he goes away. I got a rese that return
pop. He knew how to play the game? He got Fuck did he
he did recently? Somehow? I don't know. So what I'm gonna do
is and the Undertaker's illustrious career on this random episode of smack Down next week.
So I might need a little warm up next week. And uh,
I don't want to shot at the title. I just want to wrestle you.
You're an asshole, You're the You're the heel too, You're the you,
and you don't want to challenge for the title. Fuck that put the
titleline, pussy boy, that's what you should have said. I need a
war over next week. I bet you won't put the title on pussy Boy.
What your undertaker of that? You got championship off championship. He would
have said yes too, Yeah, he would have because he's Patista, and
that's what the face does. He's gonna say yes. And the cheers and
booze are piped in so fig and hard here undertakers never turned a smack down,
yay, And I'm gonna face him boo, and I need a warm
up match, boo. It's gonna give a Patista. Oh my god,
damn. Not a single person in the crowd of moting or doing anything looking
at or something. Get the flip phones out, people, They got their
fucking they got their zoom player. I listened to theangs wins well, Baptista
fucking he's mad, obviously, and he takes off his glasses and he says,
Mark Henry, you were as stupid as you are ugly, Okay,
I chold you to Johnny prison, motherfucker. Okay, good, I got
the nerve to call me out. I'll tell you what, You've had a
Baptista beat down coming for along ass time. It's how you're gonna get it.
You got it. We're on, and then Batista Team hits and they
stare each other down Batista beat down. Huh yeah, that's right, Yeah,
as you are. Okay, think about the Undertaker return is crazy because
he was just wrestling at Unforgiven and he took one week off and now he's
returning next week and there's the return. I'm very confused about that, Tony.
What I'm also confused about is about is the Ray mysterial part of this
show where it's his first interview since returning, but he was at the pay
per view and he also restaurants with my Well, he's never he's never been
asked questions. Oh I see, maybe that's sure. That's fucking stupid as
hell. It's so rare, first time ever speaks forever. It's good.
So we have the Teddy Long and Crystal Marshall a marriage later on in the
evening. Do not forget you're invited, James. Oh that's nice. I'm
not gonna wear Oh what the fuck? What? Nothing at all? Nothing
at all? That can't be your excuse if you're good at my wedding,
which to I can't imagine what happens. Drunk as fuck, I'm not me
inviting all the boys to that. It'd be a fucking very quick marriage.
I don't find someone that likes you first though, and then that's what happened,
that you hate your guts. That's ship. So we go backstage.
Jeff Harty is here and he's the internal Champion. Dude, Maria, so
it comes back in Maria's dancing with the Yang Twins and welcomes back to the
party. It's fun, yeah, dude, yeah, this backstage area with
no shipping. And then Jeff Hardy, who is from Raw by the way,
just yeah, he's an icy Champion's a fucking raw guy. Out the
wedding of course. Of course he jumps on screen hurricane style and Maria is
startled by this and she's, oh, we have the interc champion with us,
Jeff Harday, Oh that's Jeff party. Jeff is fucking getting downs on
what's going on? I'm I'm ready for a wedding. What's going on?
This guy is crazy fucked Yeah, he gives I think he gives Kane the
Intercoindal title and he's struggling to hold it up and sorry, later you see
my dick. I want to beat my dad up. Turn it up.
So I'll tell you this much. That title, I always I always think
it's a smaller title because it's always on bigger did usually when Kane's holding it
here, Uh, it looks massive. It does look big, it looks
big Red Machine. But on this cane it looks it looks huge. Yeah.
I like that belt a lot, need too. I'm a big Oval
guy when it comes to the Somebody told us that and it made me fucking
hate him. Oh he was fucking Chris what he didn't like the Oval I
don't think he likes the Oval belt. Yeah, well, Chris only likes
new gin Wink. So like Jink and Sean Michaels leading after that Jersey,
Yeah, you know, like ship ass. So he got a Jimmy wang
Yang versus Jamie Noble Cruiserweight to Action. Jimmy wang Yang comes out and JBL
says that he is an offspring of Michael Hayes and gen Ricky Tin. I
swear I rewound that because I thought I was having a fucking aneurysm. I
didn't know. I think I hear that right, Yeah, Michael Hayes and
gen Ricky Ten rude. I mean, I guess that he got mixed up
between Ricky chose shot with dinner. But I don't think he knows what the
fuck he's talking about this whole show, Ricky Michael Hayes, Jimmy, why
are you insulting this man? He actually hates a lot. But uh yeah,
So Jimmy Wang Yang's music hits and the start of his song is like
a loud horn and I was, I was like, there could be like
four different dudes coming out here, and it's it could have been could have
been jbl for some reason. Again, but it's Jimmy fucking wang Yang and
he's he's a goddamn cowboy. Cole says, all the stars are out tonight.
That is crazy. He says that later to this guy's going crazy with
that one. All the stars are here. Oh fuck yeah. Jimmy wang
Yang is an interesting dude because, like he's so talented, but this gimmick
is fucking pretty based. He's Jimmy wang Yang and he's your boy. There
is definitely a guilty pleasure, But I joke all of his gimmicks were guilty
pleasures for me. Like I also thought the Flying Elvis's were all I know,
Yeah, yeah, you are. Yeah, I could dig it because
like he would always go in the ring no matter what, and I swear
like anything he was ever given, he just gave it a go. You're
like all he did and it didn't really change his wrestling style. No,
No, he'd never really even tried to be a cowboy in the ring.
No, No, he just looked like he tried to be like a mix
of Michael Hayes and getting Ricky. Tim Cole says, Jamie Jamie Noble comes
out and he's got just red drunks on looking crazy. Just normal, Yeah,
just normal, but like it felt he just his somber. But I
guess it was a whole game, because Cole says, Noble seems, you
know, dejected. He's been obsessed and paranoid about mister McMahon's illegitimate son.
Hornswoggle, the Cruiserweight champion who beat Jamie Noble on three zeparate occasions. Dude,
that's Jamie, that's Jimmy God. Jus come on, man, death
just there be some level of like, come on, guys, what are
we doing? Like there has to be something. Hornswogger just said, look,
what what are we doing? Like that's crazy Jimmy hits a we start
the match off here, Jimmy hits a nice slide into Irana here. That
was awesome. Kicked to the back of the head. I like, yeah,
he's got a lot of kicks, and yeah he's a good worker too,
man so Noble and so is Noble by the way, Hell Noble is
a great heel. Yeah, Jimmy so Noble cuts him off in the corner
by reversing his punches and then he grabs the top of the rope and Jamie
Noble goes to the second and kneeds him on the arm, which starts his
heat and that's Ricky tenru move. Oh my gosh, Like Michael, who's
one of them works for w B the other one guess. So they're talking
on commentary and uh yeah, that's where they mentioned that hornswoggle is in the
head of Jamie Noble, and I'm just like sitting here like what are they
talking about? Like, what are they talking about? He's more concerned about
hornswoggle than he is. Jimmy Wang Yang, who's beating his beating the ship.
Jimmy wayn Yang gets an atomicy drop Kickcambo ends with the insigiri for a
two dude. The spin kick to the back of his fucking head. That
was awesome. It was it looked awesome. Yeah, he really like followed
through with it too. Jamie Noble gets back on the arm uh. And
then Jamie Noble looks out to the crowd and there is a green hat peeking
over the front row, and Noble sees it and walks out to fuck with
this hat. Yeah, it's a it's you know, Hornswoggle's hat, and
it's just underneath the barricade. Now the odd part, I mean, obviously
this is odd in general, but I was very confused because the cameraman got
on the apron and was shooting this match like I've never seen a match shot
before. He's just shooting sideways from the apron out like past Jamie Nobissu.
The fuck is going on here? And then I see the little hat.
I said, oh okay, yeah, And as you said, Noble walks
over to it, grabs the just doesn't grab the hat, reaches over entirely
and tries to scoop the man up underneath the barricade. But it's not Horn's
Woggle. It's even worse. It's shdnon more and Shannon Moore, you can't
something just starts pointing and laughing at Jamie Noble, and Shannimore stands there in
points and laughs at Jamie Noble for the next five minutes. He's not even
laughing, he's it's like they used the same shot over and over him.
It's like he's Mouf the gate, pointing smile. Yeah, yeah, like
he does that the whole You know what, I wouldn't be surprised if it
wasn't the actual footage now that you say that, it's just like shot.
Yeah, it's just the one shot over and over. Yeah, that's for
real though, And I uh I hated this. Uh yeah, I mean
Jamie Noble looks like a fucking idiot. Of course, fucking ship about Horse
wogle Man, he was over brom sorry on TV. They I mean Triple
ag wanted to work with him, So he must have been over enough for
someone to try to real quick, those number is too high. What does
he got that I don't? Little hat doesn't wear this start wearing a hat,
doesn't he He does a green hat asole ship But yeah, so fucking
Nobles attracted by this. Jimmy wang Yang jumps off the top rope, crossbodies
Noble on the floor, then throws them back inside, hits a double jump
moon salt on a standing Noble and gets to win. And Jamie Noble is
so angry about this, so much so that he just stands there staring at
Shannon Moore, pointing, mouth of gape, just pointing at him for what
feels like forever through a replay and he's still just looking at him in his
little red trunks. They said open your mouth and point at him, and
he said, I would do exactly that. Got it, nailed it,
multiple shots, different angles, mouth of gape, pointing waggle. You you
were going to super hell, you saw none of these guys are the champion.
There's no division. There's no division, all right. So we go
backstage. Super confusing. I'll be honest with you, I'm super confused watching
this show right now. Me too. It's all over the place. The
only part that made sense for some reason is when they were backstage going stepside
at the top of the show. They're like it was grounded in something.
Yeah, all right, So we go backstage. MVP has a football go
on football, and Matt Hardy walks up behind him and asks him, you're
gonna throw that ball or not? I was like, what the fuck is
going on in the show? Well, come on, James, MVP is
trying to get in his zone and Matt Hardy wanted to know anything about that.
As a matter of fact, MVP is not ready. So MVP drop
steps, then throws the ball, and now we see that there is a
tire hanging in the middle of the hallway backstage which MVP is trying to throw
a football through. It hits the tire, bounces back, he catches it.
MVP else deflected and throws it through the tire and then starts talking about
how He says, I'm more on class. I hit the tire, and
they start arguing about this tire and the ball, and Matt then starts questioning.
He says, are you two for three or three for three? MVP
says three for three. At this point, I'm very, very confused.
So he's supposed to throw the ball through the tire. He did throw it
through the tire, He bounce off the tire. He take they didn't fucking
the defense, Tony, and he caught him, threw it in. Yeah,
but it's not three for three. Then he's only two for you know
what, this ship reminds me of this This shit is reminds me of that
family guy. Check where's was he watching a Will Ferrell movie or sow this
stew he was in the theaters. He's like, oh, I'm a witch,
I'm a Clippers fan. And then he goes to his house and set.
That's how I feel like I'm watching on this exactly. This is up,
man. I mean so I'm pretty sure it was. You know,
the m p and Matt Hardy were like doing different things, not wrestling.
They were fighting basic like that basketball and the pizza one time better pizzay gimmick
idiot grapes that dies. Matt says, listen, man, he says,
you can't have an interception in this. M says, I'm a world class
defensive player, and that says who taught you defense? Bill Bellie? Huge
pop alliance Austin Popper for Bill Belichick. It was supposed to be a boo.
It was a huge pop because Bill Belichick cheated or whatever something happened.
But Clipper's a good coach. I thought it was a good coach. That
was like, do we like him now? I don't know. Johnny hate
him because the Patriots probably ran a train on his ass. They beat the
Panthers to the Zuper Bowl. Two asshole. I don't know, because the
Panthers suck. At least the Eagles got something, you know what I mean.
I don't take I ain't get nothing this year because we gave her our
first rate first round track pick. Yeah, well you didn't deserve that ship
anyway. All right, Well we can get Julian Pecker's back in the mix.
And don't get me started on j Col Pepper, Old Pepper and deep.
Now, don't give me sorry on two five football. I don't that's
years, kay, Warner, don't get me started. No, no,
we're Deacon zalez no so man already. He says, you think you're better
than me. I beat you in this I beat you in basketball, I
beat you in Jess, I beat you in wrestling. Besides, you figure
that I'm the United States Champion. How you beat me in wrestling? That
says, well, only because you won't run me my rematch. That's why
the US champ and MVP says, oh, come on, bro, we're
tag champion. That's also a thing we find out here. Yeah, I
didn't know that until right then, these guys are tag champs. Okay,
yeah, we're tag champions. We gotta focus on that. In fact,
we got a fucking match right now, so let's go on and do it.
I want to go eat some pizza, a chess fucking contest. How
about y'all wrestle have an ultimate surrender. Undertaker is here next week, dude,
this was a crazy I was I thought at first, I thought this
was a Mordecai from Yeah, he had the symbol, uh yeah, he's
he has risen. He walks again, and he's very like no Mercy coming
up or something right it is? So I thought this was a no Mercy
pay view promo or whatever. All the classic Undertaker tropes Tony in the desert.
He has risen and he walks again, and he has a symbol Jesus
and he's talking. So now, come on, where do you get done?
Why? But but he was here at the Bayview on Sundays. So
but he hasn't been interviewed on Friday. I tell you to return book one
week. It's not a return me when I mean when I get off the
weekend and go back to my nine to five. I've returned you get off
on Friday. Budget what he has raisen, He walks again, I'm a
two day vender. I have rig So SmackDown is brought SmackDown is brought to
you by Auto Zone. PlayStation three and this big ass sealing. What what
the fuck happened here? What happened here? Dude? I was dying,
Dude, like I'm staring at the screen. I'm I'm listening to Michael Cole
talking about the new baconator for Wendy's, and it's it's a fucking jpeg of
a vacator. No Wendy's logo anywhere in sight, white background, vaconator.
And they say, yeah, I got the new Baconator and he goes back
down, crowd behind it, big ass seiling. What the fuck us?
That's awesome? Yeah, I like, what do you think of this PlayStation
three with Spider Man? Fine? Ye, there's three something Want and the
three six. Because I got by ass kicked Call of duty, so I
went to PlayStation three where people, yes, dude, they talked so much
ship the lobbies on Xbox sixty. I just moved out to PS three.
No one's talking all that ship, dude. That fucking three sixty T bag
and shipped it all over the p S three. Man, it was unbelievable
one and they kept they shipped on them off the rip and then they kept
shipping on this and we got the Arcade Anything PlayStation. Yeah, we got
Netflix, Watch Party, we got one Person. Oh my, I'm gonna
stop your fucking dude, what an unbelievable run. That fucking PlayStation had the
data breach, remember that that was good. They also they also had the
HTC P ship where it was very fucking hard to capture anything. Yeah,
that was annoying as what a PlayStation failed. They bounced back though, dude,
Xbox then super fake what happened there? Yeah? Wow, Xbox said
we would like to be like a DVD player. Everyone said, hey,
we want to be they were They said we are a DVD player. They
said, we are not going to have a DVD drive ever, and you
must always connected the internet and always connecting. And then yeah, do you
remember like PlayStation Like they switched their whole presentation. It's like, if you
guys want to play your friend's games, here's how you do it. It's
just him handing him the game. Xbox that Yeah, that was like I
went back after the three sixty No. PS four and PS five. Yeah,
I cashed out of the Xbox Man. But what I mean like there
there was no more legendary run for me than three sixty. So we got
to MVP and Matt Hardy versus Deuce and Domino. Is this the heart throbs?
Dude? No, you fucking know who the heart throb are all?
Yeah, this is all Douche and Cherry. Yeah, Cherry's here with the
Sonic outfit and she got the roller skates on. Bro. Yeah, bring
me my Sonic. That's what I thinking about. I like the live Maade,
so bring me that big sail, which I just she had a bacon
of that been crazy awesome. This My name was Deuce, Yeah, I
was telling I was telling Johnny before we started here. Domino to me is
the high Spots guy and the guy yeah dude, and I legitimate about this.
So like I saw this guy like super Domino. Bro, Yeah that's
crazy. He He's got a good look though. Man, he actually looked
better once he left w B. To me, he got big, is
what happened. I wrote this down and listen this, I mean this nicely.
It's crazy. How so many of these gimmicks on this SmackDown, including
Dus and Domino, would be so over in today's n XT. I wouldn't
be surprised that they have this exact gimmick. Wanted to come out with the
car and they're from the other side of the tracks. The whole crowd would
go up and they'd be Chase. You would be going crazy the whole Chase
said, would Sugar is probably in that and they would roster it's the third
brand. Yes, dream to be on n X t Okay Malone, Oh
yeah, of course, Sodus and Domino with Cherry versus m v P and
Matt Hardy. Check the car, check the check the make it. M
d P is the US champ and one half of the tag team champ right
now. They don't give a fuck about this show. Hunt. They said,
yeah, you can be the double Champ. You could just have whatever
the fuck you want, dude. M VP's whole presentation is very cool.
He's the olest guy on this show so far and close. Dude, he's
only been in the company less than a year and he's right. Isn't what
they say? I feel like they say that one. I think it's it's
not as close. Tony is the usn TAG champ already. What the fuck?
This guy's crazy? Yeah, No, he was cool. And yeah
this the entrance he comes out with here with the whole set was like it
was supposed to be like a football thing, like you come up right.
Yeah, that was Coole as ship man hard again another gimmick that would be
insanely over in NXT. Yeah, you're right, I don't know. I'm
guessing he came up with this, right, I imagine? So, yeah,
because I think he was. I think he was like m v P
was like his nickname on the indies he was in was Antonio Banks. Want
to say? Uh? And I think he I think he did come up
with this. That's cool. Yeah. He was also the first iw GP
inter Condo champions, I think, right, Yeah, that's right. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, I fucking I'm I'm sure. I know I've talked
about this on the show, but yeah, it was at the show that
they ground that. Are you really It was at the fucking Easy to Be
It was fucking m VP against y Oh. Yeah, well it was come
on earlier, earlier than twenty ten. Yeah, I believe is doing the
same thing. You probably saw him do there right now, and I love
it. Oh yeah, that's what I meant to say. What happened here
was did they just not like his work or something? Or did he get
act with the steroid ship here or something like? So I was looking up
to the m v P push here and somebody had read it. I'm going
to take this for a fact. Here says, by his own admission,
he talked back a lot backstage, gotten a lot of hot water, including
insulting a doctor who was watching him take a pissed test. So there,
you know, dude, doctor pep for Yeah, you can't talk about doctor
pepperworthu onder, no way, doctor Aguil, especially anything with that guy.
Wow, that's what happened. He talked a lot of shit. He probably
was like, yeah, this is a bid idea. He probably talked a
lot of ships like a guy with probably like long hair, enough big nose
and was the world champion. He got a lot of bells there. Doctor
Hunter was watching the piss test. Doctor Doctor Hunter walked into Bitch's office and
said, an entrance costs a lot of money. I think I should be
balling. I think there's only one m v P here. Doctor Hunter,
so m v P and Matt Hardy at the tag champs here? How can
they coexist? Always? It's always the tag thing. I don't even it
sucks because this is a good trope, fucking is It's a good trope that
w B killed And like now you can't even fucking do it because w no,
because it gets me Rustlemania and we got to put the two made eventors.
And why can't they Why can't they just coexist? Why can't they want
to? Yeah, why can't they co exist? And why can't they just
win and then be friends? Yeah? Because they're all man fucking babies for
some reason, God damn it. Yeah. So dude's name is Deuce,
Okay, So yeah, Deuce is dating Cherry, which is Domino's sister.
Don't ask me why I know this is? This is okay. I thought
they just picked up the girl and the sonic is crazy. This gimmick would
be over the next to you. Are you sure they're not doing this?
This is not Tony D'Angelo. Now, he's fucking Italian and these guys are
not. I don't think these guys are just baby. We don't know Haberger.
I guess I don't know. These are two Chuck plumbos. Dude,
No one is more over the Chuck. But we find out later that well
something sold himself to say about Chuck. He's coming back to I don't know,
all right, So we start this match up here, m v P
Matt Hardy go for a double elbow, but m VP runs for it and
hits it first, and Matt's like, what the fuck? Mat? I
thought we were doing the two K thing. He said, you want an
asshole? Why can't they co exist? Dude? No, Matt tells MVP
to get into doo a double tea move, and then Matt just sup Lex's
deuce. Why hey, why are they not existing? Exist? Yeah?
Why can't they go exist to be champions? And then lose to a team,
a revetable team, and they oh they beat Duce Domino for these fucking
belts. I think they did. Yeah, you're right. So JBL says
m v P because MVP guys were a boot and he misses and j MVP
was going for that choe no boot, yo, dudes fucking feeding him the
ship on the that set, Like, is this fucking like gin ricky fucking
j anyone got that Hashman. Yeah, goddamn. So anyways, we got
Domino. He's back in the mix. Man, he's got that heat.
So hell let drop for a two. It's funny because they all they all
have eat we are you ship Man got So it comes back for commercial.
Duice and Domino hit a suplex cross body to which is all moves only in
a certain about of spectown games. Yeah, take that out, Take that
out, take him about everybody. Damn all right, So Duce goes for
the Harlem sidekick. He probably calls it somewhere. I don't know what.
He calls it, a roll of Dodger sandwich cake or whatever you said.
The deuced full of ship as is good. These guys are the Harlem sidekick.
VP hits a sbr kN instead. Then we get the worst hot tag
sequence I've ever seen. If I saw this, I would have ran out
like a nokie and just broke this up. In said, you're vacating the
that's a lot like an All right, So they do this hot tag sequence.
It's so slow, no heat whatsoever. What do you mean the crowds
forgetting crazy? Yeah, they would rather die. Ah, you're thinking about
this match in the backstage, of the HS, so Matt Hardy hot tag.
Matt hits his patented double axe handle off the second with theatrics fun this
guy because his second because so bulldog hits I'm sorry, I always got a
bulldog asshold of the tracks and they can't get over there. There are only
a lot over this side of the trucks were a very limited ship, all
right, So that Hardy hits a bulldog clothesline for it too if he be
once back in. But Matt says fuck you and hits the side of it,
which is me online and I'm slamming moves and then blaming the guy.
We're not taking it. Absolutely fucking fuck you, macho, I forgot so
m vps, I'm sorry. So Matt starts doing his taunt and m v
P tries to tag himself in but missus. Matt's like, oh my fucking
god, we're not going existing. And then Matt, it's a neck breaking
for two and the MVP comes in and says, could you do some good
moves or not you got anything at all to you? A bitch? You
and your brother are the movesman's what the fuck? So m v pushes Matt.
Matt pushes him back, and then Domino rolls met up and there goes
for whatever. Just I'm sorry, I'm not very wise on this team.
Does Cherry not get heat for these guys? She's just a girlfriend of this
guy's baby faces? Right? Is this the heart? Baby? They're not
there. I was trying to figure out myself. Why is she not getting
any heat for them? No, they don't, but they definitely are heels
because the other two guys are healing the ship out of each other. That's
right. Matt Holty's the only face in this. We never put this together
as an asshole very year. Yeah dude, yeah, so yeah, Matt
shoves him and MVP falls down and that's why he can't get up in time
to break up the pit. Mmmmmmm like a turtle or something. Why can't
that exist? Goddamn Cherry get any heat for the heel team. Why can't
these guys get on the other side of the tracks? You gotta go back?
Yeah, happy Gilmore where he takes his fucking skate off and that guy
with it. Why does't Cherry do that with like the skate? She probably
does, She probably doesn't, and then she gets fired. Yeah, get
out of here. So they go backstage. Teddy Long is with his groomsman
getting ready for his wedding. Oh hell yeah, he's he's got his grandson
there. And then Ron Simmons is holding and he's justing his tie and and
walks the reverend and the motherfucking reverend is Bruce Bruce. Talking about Bruce Bruce
is a fucking beast. He was on every comedy show. I feel like
he was definitely doing stand up ship. Butcher is here too, butch Read's
here, and he says, I'm very proud of you know, we go
a long way, go back a long way. You know the world championship
days which ones, there's many many world championships chip wrestling. I guess yeah.
Butcher looks at him and he says, listen, man, one thing,
you gotta tell me. How did you get a girl as fine as
Crystal? You her? Yeah, dude, dead ones? You know how
I wrote Dog? And Butcher Reid's like, yeah, you know, you
gotta tell me, Uh you know how how's that? How's behind him?
Closed? Are you we fucking her? Dude? What do you think?
She? What do you think? Teddy? I give her a thousand dollars
to show you as that's why he's my grandson here with the fun. I'm
sorry, just like, what do you think? Hey, come on,
guys, come on, come on, what about two thousand dollars? Dude?
He does evening Bruce. Bruce says, you know, back in my
bachelor days and my pimpin days, I used to talk like that. But
Teddy, really hell's out? Well what oh my grandson's here to help.
Oh yes, sorry, yeah, so, Teddy says, listen, I've
yet to consummate the marriage, but you better believe that tonight I want to
make Crystal Halla Halla. You know what I'm saying. The boy tapping off.
So that was time for the auto zone smack of the two weeks ago.
Get in now the stereo is beaten, Shama and I quit match.
Dude. Raystara has been on this show. It's so long he's been on
the show. He just hasn't talked. Leave him alone. That's weird.
He's probably talked on the show, gentlemen. Oh my, come on,
I guess it's because the stage set up. He doesn't jump out the sky
or under from the ground or anything under the round. He juste dude.
He doesn't even come out like at the right time of the song. He
just walks out and hey, fuck all right. Cool Ray taps up a
guy in the front row with a sports jersey on. I don't know,
uh if he knew him, but he had a million w B title Rebelic
Belichick or not. Maybe not. Cole welcomes him back to SmackDown. He
was on a couple of weeks ago. Dude, Cole even runs down.
He says, you come back, you win your match at SummerSlam. Then
a couple of weeks ago you take out your rival Chavo, it sounds,
and then Sunday you were in the ring with Great Colliam Batista. It sounds
like he's been our back for a fucking minute talk part of the main event
scene. He's never talked. Yeah, he should stop talking. I think
you play anyone that's a bad promo on SmackDown. What do you mean?
Yeah? I think it was like on purpose, like they said, Okay,
you guys can do this on SmackDown and maybe you'll get better every time
test be on the show. It's silly. Could edit is what they wanted
to do. So if they fuck up their promo, they could just redo
it. That's what I'm saying, Like you'll get better over time maybe and
then you know you not, or you just will just edit it and you
just keep taking it wrong and you can lose. Ah. Why could Test
not be afforded this privilege? Had lines? Okay, Ship Ray says that
female feels good to come back and be back in the ring with my you
know, be back with my SmackDown fans. That crazy line, by the
ways, it feels good to be back in the ring with my SmackDown fans.
He was probably your last week to So since I came back, it's
been eight I had my first title shot, I came this close, but
uh, you know, what can I do? I congratulations to Batista.
I'm honored to say that Dave's my friend. And then just all of a
sudden, said what then do we fucking so? You call him? He
calls him date with you. Cole says Chavo Guerrera and a I quit match,
tried to end your career. Then two weeks ago you made Chavo say
I quit And do you feel like you gained some revenge and races. No,
I don't think it's revenge. I would call it redemption. And JBL
at the commentary table now has a live mic and he's just yelling redemption.
I've never seen a bigger love fest in my life. And Cole says,
John, John, I'm gonna if you please, John, This reminds me
of kids cases. Hold on, John. J B says, you will
cover war, you will cover three presidential elections. You're throwing him soft balls
in his love fest like Larry Kang through that anorextion tramp, Paris Hilton and
race Man with the references due. The references are crazy, and Ra says,
hey, come on, man, I'm lost what he legit says,
I'm lost? What's going on here? JBL just rants this whole time.
He said, On the other hand, will not ask you softball questions like
Michael Cole will do. This is Michael Cole's interview. Ray doesn't talk about
John please shot or Ray says, listen, what do you have to ask?
You know that I can't answer. And JBL says, you come out
here and you you smack down fans. You're six one nine, I love
Batista. Look at you with your little Mexican tattoos. What the fuck?
JBL? This is all he does on SmackDown. It just it just goes
after. He just goes after Mexican people. It's all he does on SmackDown
for four years, with your little Mexican tattoos, with your little Lucha libre
mask, paying homage to your harm bras in the six one nine. Fuck,
I thought we already. I thought we did is already like the that's
what he said. Is there something I missed here? J says, yeah,
you're a disgrace in his country. Fuck show. Ray looks at him
and says, all right, I don't think so, Bradshaw. I think
you forgot I put you out, I retired your ass. I was,
oh, ship, I guess that did happen? Uh uh he So all
of a sudden you forgot that. You don't remember the world title against retirement
mag Yeah, yeah, little Ray Ray took you down and you retired.
You want to go round number two? You want to fight, I'll fight
both start fucking They start fucking ging up. JB starts taking this awesome yeah,
like you were about to throw down the middle. JBL takes his jacket
off and jamis Iben Wayna a year and a half for this. Oh,
I was like, yeah, JBL legendary bleeder is when it comes to these
blowoffs, bro, like, dude, every time Eddie Sina. Yeah,
like he was holding it down for SmackDown when it came to those blowofs.
I'll tell you that much would And that's you know, that's real ship here.
I mean, that's that's what you gotta do. It was what you
gotta do, motherfucking g Once he stopped bleeding, man, it was done.
Yeah. Man, what a god. That sucks. I mean they're
kind of coming back a little bit. Yeah, it's nice to see some
blood every once in a while. I agree that. Yo. So JBL
starts fucking getting ready and then he says, unfortunately, right, my contract
is announcer. I'm not allowed to beat up the superstars, Okay, he
said, since you love to fight so much, I said, oh shit,
I ran into somebody in the back of Early Day. And it's funny
that you say that. Funny that he didn't say anything. You said it
was funny. I would say that because that guy loves to fight. My
name is Ridley, and I love to fight, and dude fucking Finley comes
out here. Not Nay, no, he's not. He's good. I
could. I can't look at this dude thinking of him holding his hard you
gass big pegger us fucking the crumpy squirrel at tag Findley that I always love
that. Yeah. I mean, like I'm saying, I know a guy
who likes to fight, and I talked him earlier and he said he loves
to fight. My name is Brimmy, and I yeah, that man like
he does like to fight right now? God as friendly he did that.
God damn that's the same. Yeah. Yeah, gets in the rings like
his lips and JBL gives him the mic. Finley goes to talk. I
was like, oh shit, I don't really remember Finley promos. Well,
that was probably a good reason because he just fucking thumps right there with the
mic. Muggle Bull is super offended. Bugle Bull says, oh what do
you do that far? He says, this isn't a bar fight. I'm
like, what, you don't know what? The sticking up his ass that's
a real bar fight. Show me your cock, sailor. I mean,
he was holding the balls so crazy, like real bar fight. The Teddy
Long and Crystal are getting married and they're having fantastic to blot sex. Come
on, so we also got the Raw rebound where they spend the next twenty
fucking minutes talking about Raw. Yeah, this is nuts, this is crazy.
I don't want to talk about this because okay, but it's the one
where John Cena's dad gets fucked up by Randy Orton, who's a complete menace.
Yeah, so no, we we shouldn't talk about it because this is
funny as fucking I would like to talk about this on an actual episode.
So we go backstage ying Yank here, Yeah, also here Jimmy Wayang Yang
and he walks up and says, hey, I heard the Yang twins were
here. Who are you? Guys? Fucking They say, we're the Yanyang
twins? Who are you? And Jimmy Wangan says, oh oh, Jimmy
Wyangang, I'm your boy, and he starts air humping. He just leaves.
Jimmy Wang Yang is actually fucking pretty based. Yeah, man, I
got a lot of love for Jimmy. He was also a big part of
my fire pro game. That's what a legendary roun that was. Yeah,
that will ever be forgotten. Carlito walks in. It looks like he's dressed
for a funeral. He doesn't really say anything. But I imagine in his
mind he's thinking that this guy was a big part of your SVR, the
dude King of the Ring or the fucking CM punk match which will stand,
will will outlive me somehow. It was, Yeah, it was. It
was fucking King is the Ringist. It was Smag versus All two thousand and
eight. It was a bagstage, fucking parking lot brawl. And I was
committed. I was committed. You were. I was. I was.
I was proud of you that you. I don't know why I was.
I don't know why I was. And I guess I mean, like I
did. I did it because in my mind it was funny as fuck,
but I didn't think it would be like anything anyone ever watched or remembered because
it was so long. Yeah. Yeah, Whenever I do like that and
it starts going along, like wow, no one's watching this ship, I
could just start saying whatever I want. I had like an ultimate Smission match
I think one time or something like that that went like thirty or forty five
minutes. Dude, I have one of those two. Yeah, they're painting
my fucking asshole, dude. I Uh. There was a fucking ladder match
that I did for the Monies in the bank thing that went like two hours,
and I was holy was committed. That's pretty fucking crazy. Yeah,
I mean I have I've definitely lost my mind at some fucking yeah, I'm
sure you probably right, yeah, Carlos here, he doesn't really say much
because off screen Roomba, who can it be the Undertaker's back Carrios he returned
to week caurly it is, oh wait, that's fucking shopped, Bubo.
Sorry, Chuck Blomba pulls up on the motorcycle, which is funny as fucking
Yeah. You said earlier that Undertaker is gonna xnate this ship real soon.
I bet yeah, cool bike later because I think Michelle McCool is also with
Chuck Blombo and he xnates that as well. It's all right, Chuck Plumbo
pulls up and the crowd noise on this makes it seem like the crowd thought
this was the Undertaker showing up. Dude. Bill Belichick and Maria is asking
Chuck Plumbo questions like are you excited for tonight? And Palumbo cannot I didn't
know this was Plumbo lore where he can't actually talk. He speaks through his
motorcycle revving up. He does this repeatedly and then he drives away in the
wist coade or something. Are you gonna get fired? And then he fucking
drives off and the Yingang Twins say, turn it up, turn it up,
straight down was a type huh. Yes, she looks the understaking trouble.
So now it's time for the Divas Search pre tape. Yeah, I
mean this is a hype video for the Diva Search twenty seven Diva Search where
they play beach volleyball and there's some familiar faces. Tarrell's in this, Eve
Torres I think is in this all the familiar faces like Ja Kim was in
there, Naomi Yek Yeah. Yeah. They play beach volleyball and then next
week they do fucking limbo, do some rolls. How about you doing international?
Let me see what you got. How about you hit the robes.
Let me see hit the robes. Chriss cross, you run into each other.
You're all fired. Yes, the beach volleyball man, they got the
blonds versus the brunettes, of course, and the blondes went up because I
just because yeah, all right, yeah there, but you're right. The
blocks go up because fuck you brunettes. So we go backstage. Crystal is
back here with all her grooms women. Is that alright? I don't think
women. I don't talk to women. I believe she watched two thousand and
five Ring of Honor. I don't, I don't. She's backstage to the
two thousand five Ring of Honor. How about you, guys to stop playing
beats volleyball and how about you turn on a Ring of Honor? How about
that put a DVD in for what you're like? Begins? Maybe not?
So Crystal is back here with all her grooms women, and she's getting ready
for a wedding. Yeah, Michelle mccol's back here. Vicky Guerrero is looking
for the undertaker or yeah, so Jagged Edge is also here. Who is
this It's supposed to be Edge. Yeah, this is Jagged Edge with their
hit song making Love to You a woman, fuck your bitch song that was
Tony They play it song crazy later, that song that for some reason,
not that song at all. It's a hit off their new album coming up
here. So we go to Mark Henry versus Batista dude, Yeah, non
title because fuck that ships fell? Yeah for real Batista's out here. He's
going nuts with the pyro. He's yeah. By the way, No Mercy
brought to you by AT and T text w w E A nine nine to
three from your AT and T mobile phone. One guy in the crowd that
could get service to do for free, you can download a fucking one hundred
kilobite picture of Crystal Marshall. Very so. I hated that I gonna want
you said me that I have to pay like fifty cents just to see it.
Yeah, loading top down? Oh cool, excuse me? You look
closer, you go. All the balls are up into that ship. So
Batista's here. He looks great at the title. I get him that much.
Yeah, I mean, good for him. He doesn't need to defend
this thing though, because Mark Henry is an idiot. That's coming later.
So Batista is taking Henry off his feet. So uh, Henry locks in
that old nerve hole and we get yeah, he got a little some squishes
in the corner. Got sis for you. Batista works out, hits the
shoulder tackle off the second Teeza hits a spinebuster. That's the movie. Beat
the Great Collie with HOLLI. Fuck, it's speaking of the Great Collie is
here. I'm making love to your woman. Jagging has performed great College he
should have had that. Batista meets Collie on the ramp and Batista starts kicking
his fucking ass. Yeah and then he then he turns around and he just
fucking auto targets. Mark Henry runs out after spears the ship out of him
video game style. Yeah. Great Colleague then attacks Batista and he throws him
into the steps. Collie job, motherfucker Magic is thrown out of course,
because why he would anyone care about the main event? Damn it? Man,
I mean, fuck well, thank god it wasn't for the World Championship.
That's a great the good lineage of the world. Yeah, oh my
god, that would be bad. They never did you finishes for title matches,
dude, hell no, man, and Mark Henry won't have a claim
for another title show already, think of the future or whatever. The Great
Colleague steps in the ring and hits that chon no boot. Oh yeah,
Manu shono boot, which is funny as fuck, and then Collee does a
choke slampost wake up time, which leads to the College vice cram grapes.
Yeah, dude, he squeezes the ship out of his head and then looking
at him. Man, the ref doesn't care at all for some reason,
oddly enough do something both pants down, I don't know. And then Mark
Henry invents the sweetest tag move with Colleige. They should have ran with us
for a fucking tag run. He has him in the Colleige vice script and
then Mark Henry Larryot's but he's out of it. That's that. Yeah,
this is a this is a crazy Maine events scene. Yeah, dude,
I mean fucking ratings were fucking not moving, looking not great, a steady
downward trajectory. Collie then hits the ten thirty one and we call it a
day. I mean mad respect for that call. By the way, there,
I appreciate that very much. It's always for you, that's always for
It is the goddamn ten thirty one. They call it the Collie bomb,
which is wrong. Uh you don't, Collie, don't even call it that?
Tell you all. I've gone over on my phone temporary one. Yeah,
hell yeah, yeah. Colleague stands over Batista and raise his arms up
and goes and I guess he didn't know that like to stay there, because
he moves and I'm pretty sure the refs are fucking yelling at him, gonna
go back and he so he walks away, and then he walks back to
Patisa, stands over him and goes, this is so Undertaker returns next week.
Holy shit, he's just like Jesus. And here's Crystal Marshall and Teddy
Rufus long weddings down O my yeah, so here we go. Yeah,
the wedding music starts to play. All the wedding ship is set up in
the ring, and please welcome Reverend Bruce Bruce. Bruce Bruce comes out.
Vince and Jonathan Coachman are out next, along with various members of the roster.
And what a I mean, just looking at this all stars dud he
does definitely I can't imagine that he was thinking in this shitty way. He
meant it. These are actual stars to him. But looking at this lineup
here, I mean, how are you not watching? Ta? I mean,
what is wrong with you? Yeah? I don't know, it's you
gotta be like legit five years old and which I mean a lot of people
grew up in this era, so yeah, you know, and we give
passes like that's like definitely like if you were like fucking five, like yeah,
you know what I mean, like you just yeah, yeah, it's
hard to get me a pass on liking Smack Nuvers roll eight. I mean
that's still still shitty. Yeah, I can't get you. I'll keep passing
this though. This is fine, you know what I mean. You didn't
know any better, but you know you shot your gamers skills. I mean
could have you could have helped usher in a new era of wrestling by school.
You watch this is dead Yeah, with the likes of the following people.
Elijah Burke was here, who was not doing too well. I'm Ball's
mahoney, who is in his just usual gear with a tie on. You
see him punk with no tie but with hair fucking extreme expos with the miss
we love the Miss. Cody Rhodes is here. I believe that Kenny Dyksher
looking just fucking insane. I don't know what he was doing there. The
Highlanders still employed not too much longer though, that's fucking up here Shude d
g C. Yeah, Tommy Dreamer with a big ass fucking hat looking like
just a pervert. That's right. Trevor Murdock with baseball cap, Sergeant slaughter
and I r s in wrestling gear. Yeah, Jim Duggan with two by
four that has a bow tie on it, which pot me huge. Everyone's
wearing black, by the way, which I is this not funeral tile attire?
Like? Is this not? This all looks like funeral attire For the
most part, I think, I think, what is it? Like?
Uh, you wear black white because it's whatever. You're not supposed to wear
whatever the groovesman in the groom is wearing. Right, was Teddy not wearing?
You just can't wear with the rides went. I don't think it really
mad, Like if you wear a black suit, it's probably fine. But
I'm just trying to uphold the integrity of the Theodore roof is long crystal,
upholding the integrity of it. We're kickings out of here now. Venus is
definitely here. I was gonna you know, that was the big valbum.
Is he? No? Is he? He's an asshole bitch? That is,
get him out of here? What about fests? Can he stays good?
Jesse? Not that Jesse? Yeah, no, no, no,
this is horn Swoggle is also here. He comes up from under the ring
with a little chair. Wait. Champion of the World. He didn't have
his title though, so I guess, an asshole, what's wrong with this,
dude, I don't know it was your title? Well, I was
gonna I said. He had a little chair. That was a lie.
It was a normal sized chair with books for him to sit on. Because
Vince is unhappy about this because he hates all of his family members, which
is you know, just throughout his life through true to this day. Come
back from commercial break and Theodore Rufus Long shruts down the aisle. Big Pop
JBL says, Theodore Rufus Long has lived in Atlanta for the past one hundred
years. He's walk I mean, I fucking Teddy Long takes indie bookings,
by the way, just something to think that, right, I don't know
what he would do for our show. He would make a tag team at
you kidding me, dude, I mean he that would be awesome. I'm
sure. I'm sure that's what he does at every indy. He did that
at ai W. I know that for a fac Why would you not?
Yeah, fuck, I'm to take Long. I gotta make a tag match.
So yeah, Theodore Long's fucking grandson or son walks down with Michelle McCool
and JBL says, oh, that's my that's my future rife there she's you
get ready to walk down that aisle. An undertaker couldn't get back any sooner
to punish him for this. Domino j BL blames Jruck Blombo for this for
some reason. Oh, I should have brought this up what we were talking
about Domino earlier. Deuce is sim Snooker. He is a snooker son.
How is that possible? James? What was the gimmick? Jimmy Snooker Tunora,
This is Jimmy Schnooker. Yes, sorry, I should have brought that
up sooner. Yeah, dude, what the fuck is that right? Jimmy
Schnooker. Jimmy. He also is the it is. He's also the man
in Taker versus Sean wherein Taker does the dive and hits the cameraman and does
that? Is Deuce who is also Jimmy snook Ajor Wow, yes, yes,
and no one asked him where the bodies were. Not on the bodies
were, but maybe the bodies James are on the other side of the tracks.
Oh fucking ship on the train man? Yeah? Wow, Jimmy fucking
snook Ajunior he had a run on smackdowns Domino. This was super inspired.
I bet you a writer got paid a lot of money to come up with
this idea. It was Freddy Freddy. It was probably Freddy Prinz Junior.
He probably didn't what a gimmick it was. I mean, find something for
Jimmy on the high spots guy and the Sonic. You got to get them
over and he said, yes, I can't, Sarah, and they're up,
so yeah, Butcher Reid walks down with Tory Wilson, Ron Simmons walks
down with Vicky Guerrero. Ron Simmons is the best man for this. JBL
says, Ron was the best man at my last wedding. Why not want
want want so many of them? Of course, Yeah, he's gonna have
one with Michelle McCool right. Reverend Bruce Bruce says, all right, says
everybody, Here comes the bride, and it cuts to Valvenus with a big
ass, creepy smile on his face. You weird, weird freak. Get
out of here, dude, get out of here. And I guess go
to TNA, Go to TNA. I guess I guess you're going to DNA.
Take Derek Graham couch with you. You can both. Don't put the
towel on. Just go to TNA and beat Christopher Daniels. Just beat him.
Ye here man, of course. Yeah. So Crystal walks down the
aisle. Cole says, Theodore Long is one of the luckiest men on the
planet, and JBL says, you have. As he says this, Crystal
Marshall trips down the chairs, climbing up the stairs getting the ring. She
fucking I don't know if this was planned or not. It's funny. As
she trips on her dress, trips crazy rolls down the stairs. Teddy Long
rushes out of the ring. Dell Brown, she's laying like Peter Griffinst in
front of Vincent Coach just takes a funny face. He's like, what they
okay? So, yeah, fucking they. Teddy Long helps her getting the
ring. H Cole says, I'm a bit nervous, and JB says,
oh, it doesn't remind you of when you wore a bride, and Cole
says, I was never a bride. John Damn. Reverend Bruce Bruce says,
all right, that's okay. You just you know you fell for your
love and his brothers and sisters. We are gathered here today in the eyes
of God to witness the holy union of Theodore and Crystal. And before we
commence our ceremony, we shall share a gift that Theodore got for his lovely
bride, his song Let's Get Married by Jacket Edge and Jagged Edger. Here
they're here on the stage and they do a whole ass song. Yeah,
this is a long segment, man, it's the wall. Thankfully, it's
more important. I mean, they couldn't. Maybe that's why they didn't put
the world title on the line, because the world title I would have to
go last and it couldn't go last year. Yeah, I promise you there's
never been one conversation in the WWF unlesson involve Triple H where he said the
world titles right, Well, Reverend Bruce. Bruce is getting down in the
ring here and fucking Hornswoggle is just beating the ship out of Jordan Good versus
just beating the ship out Jeff Hardy as high as hell, fucking dancing in
his seat. Teddy Long keeps going on the mic and saying I said I
love you. I said I love you. Wabody and it's like in between
them singing and we are getting no younger. The Roster's waving her hands back
and forth. Then Jagged Edge finishes the song, and then one of them
at the very end says a Tuesday Good Edge of Blues Bruce. Bruce says,
now it's time. Now it's time to join Theodore and Crystal and Holy
Matrimony, and then fucking Jillian Hall's music kids, and I said, how
is there how is their layers to this fucking thing? I can't believe there
there's more to this. Somehow there's more to this. After this as well,
Jillian Hall comes out and says, hold on, I can't allow this.
I that fucking performance sucked, so I need to sing and to everyone
is going no, no, it's why don't do that? Jillian? Do
you want to do that? Jillian starts singing an original, beautiful song.
Demonlinko sitting there just fucking pissed. He's about to tap into Iceman mode and
really go after her. Jillian is singing. Teddy Long is on the mic
saying this is my wedding please, and then two of the girls, I
think it's Candice and Mickey maybe Dude, start choking her out and carry her
to the back. She's kicking and screaming, this is Texas, Jay saw
stop to this show was crazy, dude. Yeah, they fucking goozle her
and get the funk out of there. Everyone's excited about this. Reverend Bruce
Bruce says, praise Jesus, get an amen. He said that was the
worst thing I ever heard. And then he's interrupted again by Hornswoggle, still
beating the ship out of trying to van Coach, but he's fucking slapping in
the back of the head and punching him in the side of the head.
Baltimore, this is my dad, and I'm gonna get his head. No,
no, knock it off. What's paper? Come on, man,
no no if Balds Mahoney's laughing at this. Vince eventually yells at Coach and
Hornswoggle for doing this, and Hornswaggle slaps Coach in the back of the head
to a big pop the crowd. Chance Hornswoggle, I would give him the
Cruiserweight Champion. I think, oh wait, the end. That's good.
Great. So Bruce Bruce gets back to me says, the Lord blesses this
love, and now I ask you to both join hands, and before you
stay your valves and your love for each other. I would ask anyone here,
does anyone not want Theodore and Crystal to join in holy matter and money?
Speak now or forever hold your peace, which of course leads to the
entire crowd shouting they don't want this. It was the loudest they were all
night, don't I should? They seem fine, they seem like nice people.
Well, uh, someone has an issue with this, James, and
it's none other than the Godfather. Godfather's music kids and Michael Cole as clear
as day, maybe the clearest I've ever heard him, yells, oh my,
oh my, said ship. Godfather comes out with the hose. Jbl
says, joe Cho. Godfather is here. The crowd didn't seem happy about
this. The hose were holding down. They were holding down, holding down.
I don't know what to tell you, man. It's time wants to
get for everybody to get on the whole train. Of course, Bruce Bruce
was about to join the whole train right Hornswoggle was bricked up ringside. It
was probably gone in his car, waving the bigges break up his car,
but on leather, so Godfather's here and he fucking Day says it's time,
wants to get everybody get on the whole train. Day wants his whole trains.
My what and come on, dog godfather says Teddy, saying a man,
nothing against you, Honey, you're a beautiful young lady, because he
says woman and governs. All right, Yeah, he says, I said,
you remember the good times me, you and Ron used to have,
and which is crazy implications as they were. I was there too. Yeah,
they were all running the hood train, Teddy long, and wow,
that's awesome. Butcher Dude, Doom and j BL dude just as fucking craziest
line up ever man and Rick Rude. They were ruining families in different towns.
Well, Teddy says, the games they were bleeding every match and not
showering and then sucking some dude's wife. Yeah, yeah, that was awesome.
Teddy says. Yeah, I remember those good time but I love Crystal
more than anything, and I know the fun we had over the years,
but I don't know nothing more than I'd rather do than spend the rest of
my life with this woman right here, which is beautiful, super fucking wholesome.
Yeah, I mean that's that's some real shit right there. He loves
his woman, and Godfather says, well, listen here, man, I
am mad at you, but we did not come all the way to the
dirty South to go alone. So maybe someone else here want to take a
ride on the whole train. And everyone's like pointing around, fucking for Uke
for Ruke is ready to go the best man if Godfather looks at Ron Simmons
and god Ron Simmons ready to go, and Christ said Ron Simmons, Teddy
says, put your fucking hand down, man, and Ron Simmons says,
shockingly, I know. Godfather says, listen, man, I'm not leaving
here. Anybody here want to take a ride. The entire roster, at
least the man in the roster all stand up at ringside. They're all fire
up. JBL is practically jumping over the announcedable. I excited he is to
get on the fucking hood train and god out He says, wo, how
about we take one more ride on the whole train. They play Godfather's theme,
Godfather the Hose, All of the roster, JBL on commentary all leave.
Val Venus stands up with Steve Riches and high fives. Dude, I
promise you those are not for you. They're not for you. For you,
I promise you that, Buddy, pat Patterson. The only people that
stay are the women. Pat Patterson, who is forcing Gerald Briscoe to stay.
Hornswoggle also leaves something. Hornswoggle's there with Vince end coach because they leave
a second here. Uh yeah, everybody leaves fast, just with hoses.
Hell yeah, oh goddamn yeah man. Uh. As JBL leaves, he
runs past them, and Vince is yelling at him to get back on commentary.
But JBL is, you know, he's got to fucking give it the
hose. You're like, God, do we got to And Teddy says,
listen, I think we need to get to the ideas now. Well,
Bruce doesn't want to do that, I guess. He says, Theodore and
Crystal please join hands and plead your consent of God. And Teddy says,
uh, you know. He says the ship, you know, cherish Ford
rich Or born and sick as in health and until the rest of my life,
and fucking hornswalking Coach starts fucking fighting again. Crystal starts saying her vows.
Hornswoggle runs up from the floor, up the stairs, which is crazy
style. He's like running like he's got a big as ship in his pants.
It's unbelievable, this fucking run he has. Here, he runs up,
dives under Crystal's dress. She's screaming, saying, you little past heard
crazy here loud. It's fucking like, yeah, it's I can't replicate it
or I'll probably blow my voice out, but yeah, it's bloody murder,
she screams. Here Coach is chasing Hornswoggle around the ring, then up the
entrance way. Vince then chases after the two of them. So the only
people left now are Michael Golling, the women on the rost, or this
wedding. So Bruce is all right, Theodore, it's okay. You know,
I think it's a good idea when you get through the ideas. Yeah,
yeah, maybe it's about that time. So Bruce says, Crystal,
do you take Theodore to be your husband? Crystal says she takes a moment.
I was like, oh shit, maybe she's gonna say no, I
want to jugg Jimmy Schuk Junior is on the roster, you know. But
she takes a moment and then she says, I do and Bruce says,
Theodore, do you take Crystal to be your wife? And Teddy looks a
bit concerned. I said, oh, is he about to fucking Is he
about to go on the hood train? Is that how this ends? He
runs the back with the hood train. He looks concerned in me. He
says I I And he holds his chest and then he fucking falls face first
onto the canvas and dies. He pass He's dead. Teddy Long dies before
he can say I do. She is crying and screaming so fucking loud.
Teddy Long is face first, passed out on the ground, and then medics
immediately come out with gurney. They get in the ring, and of course,
you know, the first thing you do is roll him over. I
couldn't believe it was so Him fucking collapsing was so fucking funny. Holds his
ships it falls down right on his face. Uh. The medics are out
there, they checking on They open up his shirt, they check his pulse.
I was hoping they were gonna fucking oxygen his eyes. They take it
too serious. They say he's having a heart attack. He's having a heart
attack attack right now, I can see this as hard as bumping up his
chest acme style. This is crazy. Teddy is convulsing in the ring.
Maria is sitting ringside, confused. She's not really sure what's going on.
They give Teddy Long an oxygen mask and he's fucked up. Crystal screaming,
and that is how the season premiere is s back down after the pay per
view after a world title match, ends with Teddy Long potentially dying. Yep,
that's right, and uh, I guess will never find out if he
lived or died. Sadly, he has risen. It's a microphone. Just
the one thing here about this angle from the Observer from figure four Weekly Excuse
me, October first two, on seven Alvarez Wrights regarding the death of Teddy
Loong or whatever the fuck that was on SmackDown. That's his words, not
mine. Uh w W announced on Saturday that he was quote unquote currently semi
comatose after suffering a quote unquote a myo cardio infraction with his with cardio myopathy.
Says, I've heard of a mild cardio infarction, but not an infraction.
Clearly the situation is serious, he says. What I'm in far think
the article on w dot com claimed he was suffering from hypertension exasperated my word,
not theirs, which is too bad because they probably would have written expasperated
by the ingestion of viagra. However, says I've never taken viagra, but
I strongly suspect that you've your best served taking it prior to heading into the
bridal chamber, not prior to heading into the marriage ceremony, especially if you're
going to get married in w and figures there's gonna be high jinks to drag
the thing out that might lead to some uncomfortable moments as you're saying your vows.
The best part of the story was when they say Teddy quote unquote unexpectedly
clutched his chest and fellow ground. So apparently on the wedding program mile Cardio
infraction was not listed as coming between Crystal saying I do and Teddy kissing the
bride. His fucking infarction came from him popping viggies. He's popping viggies to
have a fucking hard ass cock for his fucking wedding ceremony. You know how
we used to put him down, That's what he was talking about him.
Damn a couple here for good luck like ald times. Wow, I'm not
fucking tuning in for the Undertaker next week, I'll tell you that much.
Yeah. No, I'm tuning in to see who's got the viagra. Dude.
Well, Teddy's fucking dead or he's not or not on DPW, well
that is its back down. Maybe not, dude. Jimmie Continuer was on
this show that was Ever twenty first, two thousand and seven, and that
is it for our show. Thank you were joining us. Everybody. Make
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