How Natalie Hinds Built Her Legacy: Triumph, Grit & Heart

WHISP Space, the voice of women's Hello and welcome to the fifth episode of
Behind the Blocks. I'm your hosts two time Olympic swimmer Caitlin Sandino. Be
sure to follow us on social media at Caitland Sandino and at WHIS Sports.
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practice, not accepted medical evidence, not FDA evaluated. Always read and follow
label directions. I am so happy to be joined on Behind the Blocks with
today's guest, Natalie Hines. As a Midland, Texas native, Natalie Wascollege
Swimming dot COM's number one recruit out of Texas in twenty twelve. She then
went on to become a multi time All American sprinter at the University of Florida.
As a Florida freshman, Natalie finished third in thee hundred yard freestyle at
the nc Tways. She was named that SEC Female Freshman of the Year after
finishing top eight in all of her events. Natalie continued a successful college career,
having been a twenty time All American, three time SEC Champ, three
time SEC Academic Honorable Selection, and first team All SEC. Having qualified for
the Olympic Trials in twenty twelve and twenty sixteen, Natalie is now gearing up
for the postponed twenty twenty Olympic Trials and now trains with the postgrad group at
the University of Georgia. I personally believe Natalie's best is yet to come.
Natalie, thank you so much for joining me here today on Behind the Blocks.
Thank you, thank you for having me. I'm really excited Okay,
first of our little backstory, I have a very bittersweet story about my relationship
with Natalie So a year ago, right about a year ago this time,
I was heavily recruiting Natalie to be on my DC tried IL team, and
we just had like the most amazing like conversations and just connected so well.
And I always just really enjoyed my time and conversations with Natalie. And I'm
heartbroken to say that Natalie chose the other guys for Cali Condors. But Natalie,
I just something about you is You're just so genuine, You're so personable,
You're so commutative, and I just you just take time for people like
I won't forget, Like at Nationals this past summer, Like here you are
getting ready for Nationals, like you're in swimmer mode, and I'm sitting outside
getting ready to like host a show, waiting for a ride, and I
was like, I just really appreciate you, Like sat down next to me
outside the hotel on the bench, and you're just like, what's up,
how's it going? Like my girl, Like I just love that about you.
And So I have a very bittersweet background. I missed her on my
IFL team, but I have a new friend and somebody. Now I just
think you have a really special story and I'm just really looking forward to getting
to know you even better on this podcast today. Yes, and it's funny
that you say you bring that story up, because I actually just told that
story the other day to one of my friends and yeah, I was like,
yeah, I saw on the bench with Kitlin for literally like forty five
minutes just talking. It ended up being it started off with like, hey,
how are you, like, what are you doing out here? To
like forty five minutes later my food was cold, but like it was fine,
But yeah, I later in my later in my years, like I'm
only twenty six, but I've learned so much in these pasts. I want
to say, like year, but really these past two years, especially about
like making people. I love when people make me feel like I'm the most
important person they're talking to, and I want to emulate that and I want
people to feel that, you know what I'm saying. So it's very comforting
to hear that's how you felt, because I just you know, giving you're
all to one person, that being in the present moment is really important to
me, and so Yeah, that's definitely taking those steps because I really felt
like, well, she really just took time to sit with me, and
I really appreciated that. And now I'm looking forward to just taking some time
sitting with you because I think the world needs to know more about you,
and I want to know more about you and take us back to where it
all started. Like what was Natalie Hines like as a kid and what got
her into swimming and to shoot you a ton of sports? Or what were
you like, Natalie? Break it down? I would say I'm somewhat like
I am now, very like poised and bold, very confident. But I
would I mean, my parents would describe me as like a Tasmanian devil,
like I wanted to do everything all the time. And so I was born
in Midland, Texas, which is a really really small town in West Texas.
It's full of oil and football and that's basically it. I you know,
like Midland always has a special place in my heart. I mean everything
was two minutes away. It's kind of like living in a bubble. Like
I basically grew up in a bubble because like I said, everything was two
minutes away. Everyone was just everyone knew everyone, and my mom was a
professor there and my dad was in the petroleum industry. So I wouldn't say
we were like a well known family, but we definitely like always saw someone
we knew wherever we went out in public, and so it was just a
really nice, nurturing environment and I loved it. And I got started in
swimming because of my sister. So I was a sister who's about five four
and a half, five years older than I am, and she and I
couldn't be anymore opposite. I mean we both swam, but other than that,
like we're totally obviously we don't even look like sisters. Obviously I love
her to death, but she is artistic. She is really really logically smart,
Like school's very easy for her, whereas I'm more athletic. I'm school
I just do it, like so that I could swim, like it's nothing
that I really wanted to spend time on, but she was swimming. I
wanted to do everything that she was doing. So I got into lessons really
early, Like I have a ribbon from when I was four, so I
was in lessons like way earlier than that. And also my mom used to
take a swimming in the summer. So I've always been around water. I
love it. My favorite thing to do is just to be underwater. I
think that's just such a great, amazing feeling where you just can get away
from everyone. But yeah, I swim in Midland, you know, all
the way. I was born and raised there, so all the way up
till I was eighteen, and then decided to go to Florida, And I
mean, I kind of just skipped over my whole childhood. But well,
at what age did you realize this is my sport, I have talent in
it, I'm gonna go for swimming, probably like age fifteen or so.
So when I was fourteen, I broke my hip because so fourteen. So
back up a couple of years. So when I was twelve, I started
off sixth grade at five nine, so I was already pretty tallow and then
oh no, I'm sorry, five six and then by the end of sixth
grade, so within like nine months, I had grown to six foot,
so everything had changed for me. I was always hungry, my joints always
hurt. I was not always tired, but I mean I just like was
doing so much and so you know, you're still growing in that phase.
And so when I was when I got injured, I was doing track,
I was doing basketball, and I was also swimming, so all at the
seasons, all at the same time, and so I was at a track
meet, and yeah, I was just like overusage, like basically when muscles
were too strong for my bones type of thing. I just hadn't grown into
my body yet. And so when that happened, I kind of had to
like not do anything for almost three months or so. It was unbelievable.
I was just like so pent up with so much energy, and my dad
and mom sat me down and like, you kind of have to choose.
Yeah, you can't do three Yeah you can't do three sports. You only
have one hundred percent to give. So I, I mean, I chose
swimming because that's always been my primary sport. But I just love I love
relying on myself. I don't really like team sports and to be superficial,
I do not like to sweat, I don't like being hot anything like that.
So swimming is just like for me. And that's kind of like when
it kind of took off for me, I wasn't really I mean, I
was good when I was fourteen and under, but I think when I turned
fifteen is when I also was subjected to a greater competition. I went to
my first Junior Nationals, like one of my you know, once I was
back in shape. That was one of my first meets back and I had
never been to anything other than like age group state. So this was,
you know, the best swimmers in the country under eighteen. And it was
a big wake up call for me. And so that's kind of like where
I decided to literally eat, breathe, and live swimming. But I loved
every second of it. So you briefly touched on your height. And I'm
so curious about this because we had Amy bill Quist on two episodes ago,
and you guys, you know, both being very tall, very lean,
very slender, and you were six foot at you said fourteen already at twelve
twelve? Goodness and holler are you now? I hadn't grown my I'm six
two? Yeah, six two? How was that growing up being that tall?
Like you know, Amy said she struggled with it a little bit body
image confidence. Was that the same case for you or did you own it
from the beginning or what was that like body image? Why being at such
a young age honestly, sometimes it really I mean most of the time,
it didn't matter to me because that was me, Like I've always been tall.
But I think once I integrated into middle school was when I kind of
realized like, okay, well I'm kind of like alone. Yeah, like
all the little girls had boyfriends. I didn't have a boyfriend, and like
you know, when you're in that school setting, like you want to fit
in and you like want everyone to like you, and everyone did like me.
But I think I'm not even sure when that switched for me, when
I realized that my height was was like part of me, you know what
I'm saying. I didn't necessarily have body issues. Um, I was very
blessed with that. I think it's because I for me personally, I think
it's because I just grew up in a home that like this is you,
and we talked a lot about strength. At home. We didn't really ever
talk about anything that was negative, and so I never really had you know,
I was as skinny as a rail, but I never looked at other
girls and was like, oh, I wish I looked like that necessarily.
But I do remember being in middle school sometimes, especially like when I would
meet new people like being very cognizant of my height just because like I mean,
I'm literally six foot and I'm have corn rows and I'm wearing a collared
green shirt with khaki's Like I'm like, I could probably look a little bit
better, but that's just like kind of what the school uniform was. But
yeah, I mean I was very blessed. I haven't really ever had any
body issues other than when I stopped swimming the first time. But yeah,
I mean it's definitely because I have been groomed to think about strengths only.
So yeah, I like that. I mean that would be your advice then,
right to younger generation that might be struggling with that body image, is
like strength is beautiful, right, And a lot of times you get strength
from your height. And I don't want to put like words in your mouth,
but I feel like that would be a really great takeaway for some of
our younger listeners or you know, even people my age, you know,
just knowing like own it, right, have that confidence where strength is beautiful
it no matter what your body type is. I think it's you know,
there being this a women's podcast, women's sports podcast. I just think it's
really powerful that we embrace that and we celebrate that, and I think the
stereotype is changing to accept that, but I feel like it's obviously something that's
very dominant and in our sport. Right you're walking around in a bathing suit
all day and see you know, like, how do you own your image?
And I love that you know it started from your home. Your parents
instilled that confidence in you. I just I would just believe in that so
much. How important what our parents teach us and what they surround us around.
And I just love hearing that your parents were just the focus was on
strength and yeah, they sound like and I feel like we need to get
them on the show. Yeah. So you had this sprinter, I mean
ideal body type. What type of training did you do in the days of
your club swimming, you know, because obviously when you get older sometimes it
goes down in yardage. But were you the type of swimmer in high school
that was getting pounded with yardage or did you already have that sprinter kind of
foundation. What was it like for you in your club days? Oh my
god, Calin, I was not doing any yardage. I think back to
my club days and I think that's what I need to do now because that
is what got me to where I am, or like gave me what you
know, gave me the foundations, and it gave me my stroke that I
have today. So when I was thirteen, in the midst of all these
transformations, I got a new coach. So I had the same coach for
five years, I think, like growing up. So I had the same
age group coach. He left and another guy came in by the name of
Andy Korda. He coaches in Houston now. But on top of all these
changes, I have a new coach and he and he wanted to change my
stroke, all of them, every single one of them. And back then
I was still swimming all four strokes. So and I was swimming, I
am and stuff and it was and I look back now and and I think
about, like what makes me the person I am today? And I like
to focus on. One of my weaknesses is that I don't focus on details.
And he made me focus on details. So at first I did not
like him at all because it would be to the point where I had to
get out every length. If my stroke wasn't how he asked, I had
to get out. We did it. We would did it again on land,
and then I'd get in the pool and do it. And that was
the case for like three weeks, and I was like, I don't want
to go to practice because I am I know myself, and I'm an instant
gratification person. I like to see results very quickly. I don't like to
wait around. And so when it comes to changing your stroke, I mean,
that's not an overnight fix, Like that's a you know, that's a
season type of thing. And so we would do repetition after repetition. But
once I got my stroke down fundamentally, like the type of training we did
was equal to a sprint mid distance. I never really did too much distance.
We focused a lot on details, only swam once a day only till
when I got seventeen and eighteen did I add doubles. And I didn't do
I mean, I did foundational weight training, but I didn't do clean snatches
anything that I would have done in college, just like you know, the
machines at the gym, I would do those, but yeah, I mean
those that's what I need to go back to. But yeah, you know,
it was it's club. It's supposed to be fun. It's not supposed
to be some crazy. I mean, I hear about all these clubs that
some of my friends in college came from, and I'm like, why would
you do that? That's crazy? But yeah, I mean that's that's where
I got most of my strength that I carried with me into college is just
paying attention to detail, having that recovery time to do it again the next
day, and things like that. So we weren't too heavy on on yardage
growing up. So for the twenty twelve, when you make your first Olympic
trial as you're eighteen years old, are you just finishing high school going to
college or was that after your first year of college. No, that was
I was finishing high school going into college and I had Yeah, I had
actually graduated early. So in Midland everything is a big deal. So like
me making trials. So I made trials when I was sixteen, so I
had waited so long. It's amazing. Yeah, I was really excited.
Well when I got it, I didn't even know. I just remember I
was in a heat. You'll find this sunny. I was in a heat
with It was Austin Grand Prie. Like I don't even remember what year.
I think it was like twenty ten, I guess I was in lane.
I got scratched into the hundred fly A final and I was next to Margaret
hold Sir, who's not even a butterfly, Natalie Coglin, and I think
like Dana Vlmer was in it too. I am I'm being my pants.
I'm like, oh my gone, I can't believe I'm any heat with these
people. My dad's like Natalie calmed down, They're literally just people. So
I end up getting seventh and I get my trial's cut, but I was
just so hype that I didn't get last, and then I found out,
like in the parking garage that I had got it. And then so the
goal was just to bring you know, bring my time down into going into
trials. But I had graduated early to train more because I also was close
in other events. But yeah, I had graduated early to train more,
just to take the stress off because you know, child as you know,
childs is just another animal. But yeah, it was it. I came
along at a good time because it's always at the end of my school cycle,
so I didn't really have much to worry about. But yeah, I
was a young eighteen year old and that was I mean, I'll probably never
forget. Obviously my first trials, well I have to hear more about it.
I mean again, just to qualify at sixteen years old is super impressive,
especially I think in sprints, the sprint events, because I mean,
all the cuts are challenging, but I just feel like to be sixteen and
to qualify limp at Trials in a sprint event, it just screams talent.
So then you have to wait two years before you finally get to go to
this this meet that everybody talks about. So you finally get to this meet,
how does it go? What is this experience like for you? So
I got there and I was just, honestly, the only word I can
describe is grateful. I was literally a sponge because my team club wise was
not good at the time and it was just me traveling so it would always
be my dad, me and my coach, but obviously it was my mom.
And like I said, that community is so amazing. They had people
like families who came to see me swim that one's swim, Like, you
know, I'm probably not going to make the team, but they flew all
the way to Omaha, got tickets and you know also it's like they can
watch everyone else or whatever. But that just like, yeah, that just
speaks to like how amazing like that community was at the time, and everything
was so new to me, Like the water tasted good at the pool,
like I voluntarily took a tour. I was just like soaking it all in.
And I remember seeing like my future teammates and I met so many of
them, and it was so cool as far as like the non swimming stuff
goes, But as far as the swimming stuff goes, I think I did
well. I went the best time and I got third in my heat,
which you know most people don't go best time, but I say, yeah,
go best time, and that's a success. Yeah, And so I
just I do remember, like before you as they walk each heat out,
the one the one that's going after it is standing on these steps, and
I do remember that I was going to faint because it was I mean,
it's like, you know, you can only know unless you're there, and
there's so many lights and it's so official, and it's just such an amazing
experience. Obviously, sitting on my couch here and Athens, like I can
think about how amazing it is. But Obviously in the moment, you're like,
Okay, don't freak out, don't freak out like all these last two
years, like just don't ball store. But it was an amazing experience.
I met so many people and like just seeing people reach their goals and dreams.
I was like, Okay, well I'm ready to go to college,
Like send me pack my bags, I'm ready to go. It was great.
I love That's the perfect segue because I was gonna ask after the trials,
you're coming out of Texas as a top recruit from your state. What
drew you to the University of Florida. Okay, well this is superficial also,
but this is actually really important. Like so at Florida, if you
would like to do an aerial view, it's really long and only till you
get to one part of the school does it like kind of spread out.
But everything that I needed was on the same street. And I love that
obviously, like the coaches, Like the coaches, the location of free day,
everything was so close. It was like my dorm, and then it
was the pool, and then it was the dining hall, and then it
was the weight room, and then it was OSL, which is like our
study hall was the sweat walking to these places. They're so close because it's
like one hundred percent humidity. But I just felt like so at home,
and you know, like that's how everyone should feel when they go to the
school of their dreams. Like I just felt like there's so much diversity on
the team. There's so many people from different countries and I just love that.
And my dad traveled a lot, so he always like instilled in us
that, like, you know, for people bringing a very different view to
people's lives in America. And I, you know, at the time,
my best friend was from England, So I just loved, like, I
just loved the diversity. But that was one reason. Also, like I
said, the location, the coaches, Um, I'm so close with um
Leah Stansell, who recruited me before, you know, and before I went
to Florida, Like we're still very close to this day. And honestly,
just like walking around the school, like this is just a beautiful school,
Like I just love this school. And what are you most proud of looking
back in your college career. Let's do in the pool and also out of
the pool, because I think that's equally as important. In the pool I
guess the things I'm most proud of, well, obviously in twenty fifteen when
I was a part of the one two three finish with Leah and Simone,
I'm very proud of that, especially like with everything going on now, I
look back and I realized how important that was and how and how like how
that signifies how far we've come as black people in the sport of swimming.
And I also am very proud of how I was handling all the pressures that
I had my junior in my senior year because there just was so much going
on. And then outside of the pool, m well, because don't skip
over that, because I don't know if a lot of our you know,
most of our listeners not might might not be as aware of what you said
so quickly, because it is it's it's it's historic. To go yourself,
leon Neil sim Emmanuel became the first African American summers to go first, second,
and third in a single event, in case our viewers weren't familiar with
those names. And like you said, you know, the representation in our
sport is predominantly white, so to have that first, second, and third
to happen in twenty fifteen. Right, yeahs iconic for you, right,
I mean, yeah, it's just when you think back into that and again
that event just being so fast the houses, that's amazing, so obviously looking
back at the moment that you're really proud of in the pool. For me
personally, Natalie, like what you did out of the pool with your academic
honors, Like I don't mean to put words in your mouth because it's funny
because earlier, like, oh, my sister's a smart one, and you
know I just did. Okay, I'm like, hello, Sec, that's
not a small feat. I think that's so impressive. Thank you. Yeah,
I mean I think in school, I just like don't not that I
don't care about school, because I know we have young listeners. I did
care about school, but um like when I grew up, I had to
keep a B plus average to keep swimming, and I I know of one
time that I didn't. I got to see or something on a progress support
and my dad was serious and I couldn't go to Nationals that year, and
so I had to work to get the great up. Yeah, like they
were really serious. So I always take school seriously from that point of view,
just because like if you're going to be good in the pool, Like
why wouldn't you be good in the classroom, Like that doesn't make any sense
for one part of your life to be just in shambles and the other part
to be really good, because you know, everything in life it's similar in
some shape or fashion. So I just tried to keep that mentality going forward,
even though like you're like, oh, finally, like my parents aren't
going to see my grades, Like obviously, yes, they still see your
grades. Like, so I just was groomed to like try my best and
obviously, like we had tutors and I literally had anything and everything I needed,
which is another reason why I loved Florida, and so just taking advantage
of those resources was really key for me. But yeah, I mean I'm
proud of that as well. But outside the pool, to be honest with
you, and I don't mean to be negative, I think looking back where
I'm at, like now, looking back then, I could have done so
many things different. But I guess I'm just proud of the resilience that I
showed. Like towards the end of my career, in terms of my college
career, things were not going my way, like I was not I was
not tracking the way I wanted to track to make the team in twenty sixteen,
and it ended up just being such a heartbreak and I ended up stepping
away from the sport for two years. And so I'm just kind of I
mean, I'm sad that I went through that, because I don't think anybody
should go through that, like with a sport that they love. But I
think I'm most proud of me getting up every day despite the fact that I
one hundred and twenty five thousand percent did not want to because I had a
job to finish and you know, maybe I didn't finish it the way that
I had anticipated, but I got up every day, and I think that's
really important to not quit. And I don't like quitters. I mean,
like, obviously, if there's a good reason for you to quit, yes,
but I don't. I don't believe in like quitting. I believe in
like you're going to be in pain temporarily, but like you can get it
done. So I would say I'm really proud of just like how I kept
it together until the end. But I definitely wish I could go back and
like give my younger self a hug and be like it'll all work out.
Do you do you mind sharing what that challenge? Well, why do you
think you felt like it? You know, was her for you? Oh
yeah, sixteen? Because I think it's important for people to hear that,
because you know, it's not all easy. I mean, you have amazing
accolades, but it's like you went through some hard times too. What were
those times? Yeah, So it started junior year like, well, let
me rephrase freshman year. Like going into college, I have always had this
thing in my head that like, junior year was going to be my year.
And because I had seen so many people like you know, when you're
a junior, you like kind of have a hold on things, like you've
passed the sophomore slump. You're now an upperclassman, like you can. Like
in my mind, I'm like, okay, like it's my time. And
freshman year for me was amazing, Like I could have could not have asked
for a better freshman year. Sophomore year was kind of a slump, and
so junior year clumps. I'm like, okay, it's my time, and
it actually was a great year, Like I won secs in the hundred freestyle
and then that was the year that I got third with Leanne Simone, So
I kind of was on cloud nine from that perspective, but I think I
was running on like fumes at that point in terms of I. In my
head, swimming was number one, not nutrition, not weightlifting, not mental
taking care of your mental. So I'm thinking that I'm going to practice,
I'm doing the intervals I'm at doing, was asking me why am I not
going faster and just not really understanding the whole in season thing, like going
to me, it's not wearing a fast suit having to compete with people with
a fast suit. You can either take that two ways, like you can
be like you know what, No, I'm gonna be tough as nails and
I'm gonna get this done. Or you can take the route that I took
and it what was me attitude, And I think that's what started it all
for me was just kind of I was tired. Honestly, When I say
I was tired, I don't mean like I needed to go to sleep,
like my soul was tired. Like I felt so much pressure to I mean
it was like pressure. I was like making up. I felt pressure from
my parents, from my coaches, from myself to like start on this track
and like you know, like a snowball effect and then at the end I
would make the team. And so junior year, my summer going into my
senior year, I had gone to Nationals, which was in San Antonio,
like second worst of me to my career. I was going times that I
couldn't even believe that I was going, and I was so sad, and
all I wanted to do was go home, because home for me is like
my safe place, like it's where I get my energy from, It's what
brings me back to like Okay, this is me, and so I just
wanted to go home, but I had to go to OTC and I hate
going to OTTC. So I got eight hours at home, I drove from
San Antonio to Midland, slept, spent the night, drove to the airport
the next morning, and I was just like so burnt out at that point.
And I had to go train for two weeks, and then literally from
those two weeks, I went straight back to school for my senior year,
where I was a captain and I was trying to lead a group of girls
and like I mean, obviously I loved them, but we our team was
going downhill at that point, and it was just so much pressure. It
was like I almost felt like if I didn't do good, like it was
my fault, like us losing and stuff, and nobody should ever feel like
that. So for me, I was I mean, I was going fast,
like I mean I went fast my senior year. It just wasn't my
expectations. And so by the time that NCA's came, I was running on
fumes, like spiritually, mentally, physically, I wasn't eating. Like I
look back at pictures, I was so skinny, and I'm skinny now,
but I was like really really skinny, and that's why I was so tired.
I didn't even think about the other stuff. I was just so gung
ho on this dream that I had that it kind of was like tunnel vision
in a bad way. But yeah, I mean I look back at that
time and I think about it, because all of that ultimately led to me
being like, you know what, I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't find joy in this sport. I was literally counting down the days
at trials. I was done. I was like, Okay, I just
have three days and I'm out of here, Like I'm gonna go home,
back home for three months, and to be honest, it was the best
three months of my life. Like I just needed to be home. But
I would say, like, if anyone's listening, the whole point of this
is, like it is very important to take a break when needed. And
I feel as if I should have taken that break after my junior year.
And you know, everyone gets so uptight when trials comes, like no,
I can't take any breaks. No, we can't do this, we can't
do that. But like, breaks are needed, and now that I'm older
and I have taken a two year break, I can one hundred percent say
that when you feel like you need a break, you need to take one,
and you need to listen to that inner intuition because it's never wrong.
But yeah, when I say that, I was feeling all that pressure and
those and so that's like all the reasons why basically, But it's all learning
experiences too. Yeah. Well, and like you said, then you're going
to be appreciating what you have more, right when you take that step away
and come back to it. But you took a two year break off twenty
sixteen. What was it that got you thinking I need to go back a
lot. I everything up till now. I'm glad it all happened. Let
me just say that I needed the break. I mean, I could have
probably come back after a year, but I was I convinced myself like this
is the next step in my life, Like I get a job, I
find somebody, I settled down, whatever, And I hate a nine to
five, Like I absolutely hated going to I loved my job, don't get
me wrong. I had a year long digital internship with Turner Broadcasting, which
is like so amazing, But I did not like the act of corporate America.
I didn't think that I was suitable. I was not. I'm not
the person to show up at nine and leave at five. But like you
learned what you like and what you don't like. And so I worked there
for a year and a half before I decided, well, I still work
there now, I just obviously don't do the same things. But it was
like Jue Lie of twenty eighteen for nationals, and that was the nationals that
determined the world team and the Pampac team. And I had not even seen
swimming since trials, and so I had left the sport with so much bitterness
and so much anger and just like very unsettled and didn't speak to my parents
about it. It was just kind of something I avoided because I knew that
I could have done better, and it just took me a very long time
to look in the mirror and be like, this was all your faults.
Like you can change it, though, you can turn it around, like,
but you need to know that, like you did this and you can
fix it. But I think once I realized that and I could actually have
a conversation with my parents without crying about swimming, I was like, Okay,
I think I'm like ready to go back. I think I'm ready to
try it again. But I saw trials and I was like, man,
they look like they're having so much fun, just like genuine fun, like
where you get to like be with your friends, and so that's kind of
like when I decided, I was like, all right, well I'm about
to try it again. And I thought about it deeply for like two days.
Whether that's a long time or not, I think it is. But
I then had to figure out where I was going to swim or how I
was going to attack, like going back, because I wasn't going to go
back to Florida because I was just wasn't like a good option for me.
And so obviously I have competed against Georgia my whole year, all my years
at school, and Jack has always been like so nice, just like he
is like the nicest ever and he's always told me if I need something,
let him know, And so I quite literally took him up on that offer
and spoke to him, spoke to Brian Smith, who I work with in
the Sprint group, and within I guess like a month, everything was ready
to go. I found the place on a whim and I literally he'd called
me, told me I could move on a Wednesday, and I was out
on Saturday. So I just like moved. It was kind of just very
impromptu, but I knew that I really wanted to do it. And when
you want to do something and then you're gonna be happy, Dune, it's
on your terms, and then you're going to be you know, in a
better place, and then you're like you go back to the sport and then
you're throwing down best times not that far after your transition correct, Yeah,
like ten weeks. How crazy is that? That's why I just think,
Yet you have so much more ahead of you that you change. You go
through this, you know, this long break off, you're mentally physically just
need a break. You go back to sport, you love, You're training
and boom, best times. It's just like hello, like you have so
much ahead of you, and I even hate to go there with you right
now because this is also positive. But now, of course, the you
know, COVID comes, we're postponed for Olympic trials, the Olympic Games are
you know up in the air postponed? You know, there's so many rumors
and we're in the middle of this like huge racial conflict. It's just like,
how are you personally doing right now and where is your head? Heart
in mind? I would say that well, backing up to COVID when they
postponed everything, I have learned to lean into my feelings because I'm one of
those who likes to suppress and go on because I'm like, Okay, I
can internalize it and I can get whatever I need to done. But I've
learned in my later years, my last two years, it's really important to
just like cry if you need to cry, and right if you need to
write, and just like do nothing if you need to do nothing. So
for those two days is that I was just very confused. I just kind
of sad and just chilled in my apartment. But um, you know,
then I was good. I went home and for two months, like it
was amazing. I like, you know, I do don't find with my
parents. Like it's not like college days where I'm like I haven't got to
go. But like I loved being home. I didn't even want to come
back. But you know, like with everything going on with the racial war
and you know, this Black Lives Matter movement, I think it's you know,
initially like brought up some crazy feelings that I didn't even know that I
had. And this is this is like fresh from two weeks ago, so
you know everything's going on. I just get back and it's like fresh in
the middle of a race war, and there's just so much going on,
and I, like I said, I was feeling things I've never felt before.
I was I was angry, and I was exhausted, and I was
sad all at the same time. And it's just a very weird place to
be in because it's not I mean, there's things you can do for it,
but it's kind of just a time for you to reflect and kind of
get to the bottom of those feelings, like thinking back to when you're in
middle school and someone or you're you're thinking about all the microaggressions that happened,
you know, because I am a black person in a white sport and thinking
about all the things that have happened and just kind of trying to understand it
all. And then last week I think I was fine, or at least
I thought I was fine, And then honestly, this week, I have
days like I'll literally be making dinner and I like have a lump in my
throat and I'm like, well, I mean, I guess it's fine.
It's just you know, it's just gonna take time. And I think,
like I said, I'm an instant gratification type of person. I don't like
to wait. And so when I think I'm fine, I'm like, Okay,
let's roll with it. But this is something where I feel like it's
going to take time and there may be triggers along the way. And so
in terms of currently present day right now, I mean I literally take a
day by day like I if I don't want to do something, I don't
do it, and I think that's really important, especially like with swimming right
now, it's like what are we training for? And you know, it's
always good to stay in shape, and you know, we probably can approximate
the time that our season's going to start later this fall, but you know,
it's it's about having you know, fuel in the tank. And obviously
this is something that nobody had anticipated, both of these things, and I
think it's just important to protect that mental fuel because I'll be honest, like
I was starting to wane in this February like going into trials, because it
was just so much stress. Like you know, it's just so much stress,
like you have to have a perfect every time leaning up to trials and
if not, then like the world's over type of stuff. And I think
it honestly, in that two months that I was home, I think now
I realize that more I've really gone through a transfer in terms of just being
patient and just like letting things roll off my back. And if I'm upset,
then I'm upset. But definitely, like today, I'm doing fine.
Um, you know, I just kind of keep my mind occupied and hang
out with friends. I think that's really important, And I call my mom
and dad every day because they just, like, you know, just hearing
them keeps me grounded, and I'm like, okay, I can do this.
But yeah, it's definitely been kind of hard, something I've never experienced
before. I'm usually just you know, moving on with my emotions in tow,
but I definitely have had to slow down and think about, like,
Okay, why do you feel this way right now? Does your crafting help
you ease, like, just help you get into a good spot for you?
For those of you that don't know, Natalie's is a fantastic it's called
looming right like where you're sitting. I know it's called weaving, but on
a loom. Guys, that's my crafting background. But you've got I mean,
it's amazing. The pieces you do are beautiful. Is that therapeutical for
you? Oh my god? I love it. I absolutely love it.
It's like it's like something that I can do for me and I can just
drop off the map and do it. But yeah, I started that last
year before Nationals actually because I was having so much anxiety with this being my
first big meat back and I'd never made a final, which is crazy to
me. I'd never made an a final or any final, to be honest,
and I just felt like there was so much pressure again and one way
that helped ease it was to weave. And so I was looking at Pinterest,
wasting time like we all do on Pinterest, and I saw these wall
tapestries because I was looking for one in my room, and I was like,
honest, I could probably make that. So I went to hobby Lobby
and I bought the things. My first one was terrible. It was a
lot harder than I thought, but I just got engrossed in it and and
then like the season passed and I started up again, Like last fall kind
of got away from it because obviously I'm swimming and that's my job. But
over quarantine, I have, you know, with all this uncertainty obviously causes
anxiety, I have, you know, gone right back in it, and
it's actually taken off, so I kind of have to stick with it now.
But because you have an Etsy store now, right, Yeah, I
have an Etsy store and I like have a logo now and I literally just
came up with a shop update today and so it's just like it's really cool
to see it grow, and like I absolutely love helping people, Like I
think that's like my quote unquote calling in life. But to do that in
different ways, you know, however you can do that is is fine with
me. I think being able to bring something that I made with my own
two hands, with all the love that I put in each of my pieces,
to give to someone to put in their home like makes me feel good.
Like I don't sell anything that I don't love, you know what I'm
saying, Like I've made things and I'm like, yeah, no, we're
not. We're gonna just put that in the pile, use that for scraps
because I just don't feel it. But but yeah, I'm yeah, it's
it's definitely a full blown operation. Now, well, how do we find
you on Etsy? What is it called? What's your circle? So it's
called Luminary It's l O O M I N A R y um. And
yeah, so I don't even know how I came up with the name like
luminary. Uh, let me look up the definition. I think it means.
I did have the definition, which is why I I chose it,
But um, it means something really good. Actually, it means, oh,
a person who inspires or influences others in a prominent or particular sphere,
but that's spelled with a U. But obviously the way you spell loom like
in tapestry terms is l So I just like changed the spelling that way,
um, because I thought it was really cool. So it's called luminary designs
um and it's it's exactly that on etty and um, yeah it's pretty cool.
I have a few pieces for sale and I also do custom too,
but yeah, it's gotten kind of busy. Yeah no, Katy, it
sounds like it. And where does your creativity jeans come from? Is this
a family trace? It is, but it's probably manifests different with everyone.
My mom can kind of draw. She just quilts though, so she loves
she loves to make quilts. She's trying to get into like making baby quilts,
which is really cool to see. And she has she has a studio
at home, and so while I was there, we shared the studio and
she really loved having me home, like both of us working on our own
little project. But she's big in a T shirt quilts now, and that's
kind of like what she's doing. She's retired, so she can do whatever
she wants. But my sister can draw really well and my aunt is an
artist, My uncle is an artist, so yeah, and my grandma she
wrote a book, so she's artistic in that realm. But yeah, it's
my mom's side, I guess. Well. I mean, Natalie, you
are just a quadruple threat intelligent, athletic, artistic, creative. I think
you have just an amazing outlook on life and a confidence that I wish every
woman, every woman could have more of, and your inspiring. You really
are, and I hope you know what a role model you are in and
out of the pool. And I love getting to know you more and even
just our time today on the show learning you know where it all came and
where it started from, and it's just been a true joy getting to know
you over this past year. And I really I don't just say this,
I really think your best is yet to come in the water and your your
story is inspiring. And I think you know so many athletes, young,
middle old, they've gone through that right where they wanted to give up,
and maybe they did for a little a little bit, but they came back
to the sport and it's it's rejuvenating to hear, you know, and for
me, I really love hearing the positivity of your parents in your life,
because that is for me. When people are like, oh, why do
you think you're such a great swimmer, I'm like, because my parents should
love. And the more I hear that from other swimmers and athletes with success,
the more I believe it. Like hearing how your parents encourage you and
instill strength and you know, coming to your meats and supporting you. I
just I think that is what parents need to hear more of today, because
I think we're in a society where you're starting to see more crazy sport parents
than loving sport parents. And it's like, you know, do your role
be the parent and let the coaches coach and the parent parent, and I
just it just is so refreshing to hear. And I love the love that
I can sense between your family. And but before I let you go,
Okay, so our show is called behind the Books and we have this tradition
now on behind the blocks of kateln Fano. What are you like behind the
blocks? I mean I've been until I'm very intimidating, Like I don't have
I don't smile, I don't talk. I don't like to talk. I
like to be in my own head. People like to talk like Melanie Margallis.
She's one of my teammates. She's the opposite of me, and she
will be literally talking as she's stepping on the block. And my first meet
back in Knoxville, I was obviously so nervous. I was like, oh
my god, what if I embarrassed myself? So I'm like to myself and
she's trying to talk to me. She's like, wow, I had no
idea that you're like this behind the block, and I'm like, please stop
talking to me. But I'm definitely quiet to myself. I don't like to
talk to me. Everyone's an enemy, but like when we're done, we're
friends. But you know, that's just like how I think. I don't
like music behind the blocks. I think it just distracts me from like the
present moment. But yeah, I'm just like not very nice behind blocks.
But like that's just to me. That's just like how I have to be
to be my best I can't be your best friend behind the blocks. Maybe
if I'm super nervous age in some service level conversation you know that goes on
in the ready room, But no, I'm not trying to talk to you
guys, that's not my thing. So Natalie is locked in, ready to
go. Don't talk to her, but she will love to talk to you
after the race, exactly. And that's how I feel like with practice.
If we're doing a hard set, um, well, it's like my best
friend is Olivia and we swim together Olivia Smiliga. When we have a hard
set, we don't speak like we'll hype each other up, but we're not,
like we are one hundred percent different than we are when it's over.
Like when it's over, we're attached with the hip. We're sisters, like
we literally have the same thoughts. But like when it's in there, I'm
it all matter who you are. I'm like, yeah, we're not.
It's on. Yeah, all right. For anybody that has to race Natalie
anytime soon, good luck. Yeah, we're not friends until afterwards. But
seriously, I can't thank you enough for your time and your insight and your
energy being on behind the blocks today. I've been really looking forward to this
podcast and I am rooting for you, and I know you're so uncertain and
we don't know what to predict, but I just have so much confidence in
you in the pool and out of the pool, and I just want to
thank you for you know, being you and being so transparent and so down
to earth and so genuine and just for being one of my new friends.
It's been a true pleasure. Natalie, Well, thank you. I appreciate
it. And I hope somebody got something from this conversation. And if I
think if they could take one thing away, it would be too Literally,
just trust yourself and like trust your gut, like honestly, your gut knows
honestly, And I feel like looking back, if I were to listen to
my gut, I wouldn't have taken a two year break and things may have
been different. But I am very grateful to be like where I am today
and to share my story to help other people. So I do appreciate you
having me on the show. Oh that was just so poignant and so perfect.
And with that, that's our show for this week, and I just
want to thank everybody for listening, and again thank you to my fabulous guest
Natalie Hines and to our sponsor Highlands Earache Drops. Visit them at Highlands dot
com, backslash ear don't forget to follow and share on social media at Citland
standing note and at with sports. I will be back in two weeks with
Stanford standout twelve time NT two A champ and four time American record holder and
national team member Ella Easton. So until then, thanks for listening and helping
us turn up the volume on women's sports