The Super Funny One With Jim Jefferies

00:00:00
Speaker 1: You can live without taste and touch. They're bullshit ones. You're just saying in the earrings of the No one even knows what the fifth one is emotions.

00:00:10
Speaker 2: I don't know, fear. It's I can live without smell. Smell, smell, smell.

00:00:17
Speaker 1: I would prefer to not have smell. If I work up without a sense of smell for the rest of your life, that would be a blessing.

00:00:27
Speaker 3: Welcome, Jim Jeffries, Thank you. You're so welcome. I'm a little intimidated because you're like an actual talented human.

00:00:34
Speaker 1: Oh, comedian, that's that's hardly.

00:00:36
Speaker 2: That's the hardest. I feel like that's the hardest profession.

00:00:39
Speaker 1: That's what they say, that's what they say. But this hearted job, surely.

00:00:43
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm impressed. You've got an impressive resume. I love your stand up.

00:00:47
Speaker 1: Thank you.

00:00:47
Speaker 3: Your your ship on Netflix is absolutely fantastic. And I don't want to say that, like I know good comedy, but like I know, fucking good comedy. Not everybody is for me. You're for me. I love this you brought. Your stunning wife is beautiful.

00:01:04
Speaker 1: She all the jokes are made about her. She gets dragged over the colls in my stand up these days.

00:01:10
Speaker 3: I mean, I always there's so much I want to talk to you about. You're the first comedian that we've had on the podcast besides myself. Great at least I laugh. I'm like, I'm so fucking funny. Okay. So you have your stand ups that you do. You you're a writer, you have or how to sitcom on FX Legit, and then you stepped into hosting. Is this your first? The Snake on the.

00:01:43
Speaker 1: Snake is my first American game show that I've hosted, but the One Percent Club, which actually is the intro the leading for the Snake on America, which is hosted by John McHale. I host the Australian version of that. So so I do a little bit of TV and I hosted The Jim Jeffrey Show as well, which.

00:01:59
Speaker 3: Was okay, So this isn't like your first your first hosting gig of a game show.

00:02:05
Speaker 1: It's my first sort of reality show hosting thing like the other shows, straight question answer type of thing where I'm actually in the jungle and people are doing activities and eating bugs and all that crap, you know what I mean. Like that's my first type of that job.

00:02:19
Speaker 2: It's like a little fear factor in it.

00:02:21
Speaker 1: There's a little fear factor, there's a little big brother, there's a little surviveor the secret source of the snake, and the snake's brilliant. By the way, if you haven't seen The Snake yet, go to Hulu watch it beings. The first three episodes. I'll be honest with the first episode's the worst one because they're explaining everything, So get through that. One second one's been I just watched the third one. The third one's ace right. But the big secret with the game is we've seen a lot of shows where people have to do discusting tasks to get through the next round or whatever. You're in the task, you become the snake. And then instead of having like a voting off ceremony at the end of the show, they haven't. They call a saving ceremony. So the person who's the snake gets to save one person. That sets up a chain the actually nice saving another person, niceave another person. So there's no backstabbing. It's all front stabbing. It's like you say to someone, I'm gonna save you, and then you save another person and you see that actual what the fuck look on someone's face, like you get to see the broken heart and real time. It's brilliant.

00:03:15
Speaker 4: It would be so bad at this game because we watched two, we didn't see the third.

00:03:22
Speaker 3: The third one just came out.

00:03:24
Speaker 1: One comes out tonight tonight.

00:03:25
Speaker 4: Okay, so we watched the two, but I really enjoyed it because like Traders, you were persuaded by people to vote a certain way, and this I.

00:03:33
Speaker 3: Felt like, you don't know who the trade is.

00:03:36
Speaker 1: Big, big stuff going down. Episode three. This episode three, it's old treachery the whole time.

00:03:41
Speaker 3: Let me tell you. When they had to drink those drinks, yeah.

00:03:44
Speaker 1: I was vomited. I had to.

00:03:46
Speaker 3: Turn take the medallion. I don't want it to count me out elimination before I even started.

00:03:52
Speaker 1: I can tell because when this comes out, people might have seen the third one or whatever. But the next one is people solving jigsaw puzzles with thousands of carcos on their face with the hole just kind of thing they have to yell to the other person, like one person has the key and one person has to solve, and they've just got cockroaches, so you have to yell out. So this cockroache is calling over you with your mouth open. And people got very upset with that one. But it's like, look, I tell you what, man, It's like, it's like when you show up to get a job in your game show. Ho She like, what am I doing today? I'm pouring I'm pouring cockroachors on a priest. I mean, I thought.

00:04:28
Speaker 4: He was going to be me too. I watching two, I was like, will he get through?

00:04:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, we didn't think he was going to get Then something happens in the next one. I can't like.

00:04:38
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm excited to watch three.

00:04:40
Speaker 3: I'm feeling like the Colt's cheerleader because she's very under the radar, right, she's not a threat to anybody. And then who's the one? What's the girl's name? She has it down to a science right now, Catherine.

00:05:00
Speaker 1: Keep watching Catherine as the ways go by, because Catherine's.

00:05:04
Speaker 3: That they get you, I truly want She's gonna need the money. She's being fired from her job one hundred percent, don't.

00:05:10
Speaker 1: I don't know what she quite, she said. I talked to her done I do on my podcast. She says she writes erotic novels. That's what she wants to be.

00:05:19
Speaker 3: That trucks because she looks you dead in your eyes with those blue eyes, and she's like, I'll give you the medallion. I have it. However, can I tell you the one thing that I the guy the robber.

00:05:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, Brian talks about.

00:05:33
Speaker 3: He's like bragging how he only got one counts of the twenty two.

00:05:37
Speaker 2: He was like, but they couldn't get me on the other twenty.

00:05:39
Speaker 1: He's now like in the episode three, he's sitting there with the detective going biggest one. I got away with half a million dollar robbery. He used to rob with his father and his brother, right, so they used to be like a fan. His brother would stank God and him and the dad would go through and they'd go get stuff done. But like Catherine Man, Catherine is playing Brian in this. She said to Brian at once she goes, she goes, if my dad Adver dies, I'll have you walked me down the aisle. What do you mean you just met him a week ago?

00:06:07
Speaker 3: I know, but she's so believable. She's so believable.

00:06:10
Speaker 1: Have you ever met anyone called Katherine before? Though with an I haven't. I've met Kathy's. I've never met a Kathy and I've never met a Keith. You see the TV show in Australia Katheryn Kimy and it wasn't called Kith and kim Like, you know, the best way to say Katherine is to say Katherine. But as in New Zealand, though all right, they're actually.

00:06:38
Speaker 3: It is. The moment I saw that name, I was like, oh, she's trouble.

00:06:41
Speaker 1: I stuffed it up a couple of times, but yeah, no, she's Look, it is a game at the end of the day. It's not like TV shows you've been on, where it is actually reality and people have to actually get along with people, and there's something if you did something underhanded to a person, that's real life right to a degree. This one here. If you're doing something underhanded, you have the guys of, ah, it's a game, But.

00:07:03
Speaker 3: Do you think that when people go the fact that you're capable of that. I don't care if it's a game like I would have a very hard time. Some people may disagree going in and creating like these these ginormous lives. With the cop she's talking about, you know my dad was a cop, or the detective, he was a cop. Then with she's like, I come from a family full of criminals.

00:07:30
Speaker 1: Come from a family of felons.

00:07:32
Speaker 3: That's right.

00:07:35
Speaker 1: Family, the city a highlight.

00:07:36
Speaker 2: This guy, what are you throwing me under the fus.

00:07:40
Speaker 1: We had one cousin who went to prison for a stink for like two months, just unpaid parking tickets.

00:07:50
Speaker 3: No violent crimes here, but I'm wondering can that guy go to jail? Still he talks about how his brother was holding the gun.

00:07:58
Speaker 1: Look, I've said a lot of things that I've done on stage, taking drags, et cetera, et cetera. It's still you can. You can hide behind it being a performance and by the way, I haven't. You can hide behind it being a performance piece, right, you can.

00:08:14
Speaker 3: It's a game show where you lie.

00:08:15
Speaker 1: It's a game show. It's night, it's not a court of law. So so, but Brian did all those things. Every time I saw Brian, I had the same watch on the whole time. And Brian's like, hey, hey, he's trying to shake my hand. He's trying to nick my watch. Like it's a bit you know what I mean? Like you guys, I reckon, I can steal your watch and you don't even know it. I'm like, that's great, Brian. So I just stopped touching Brian.

00:08:40
Speaker 4: Has Brian started touching you?

00:08:42
Speaker 1: Brian. Brian's going to be on my podcast. I'm recording one this afternoon, so I will see how Brian's doing. He's a fun lads.

00:08:53
Speaker 2: He's going to shaw himself into prison.

00:08:55
Speaker 1: I know you know what I did wrong as a host, and my wife actually thinks it's quite ming. Is you can very clearly tell that I have favorites. Now a game show, I shouldn't have favorites so hard.

00:09:08
Speaker 2: That's so hard to could.

00:09:11
Speaker 1: Treat them all equally. But like when Jack won eating those rantid eggs, I was like, goat some Jack.

00:09:20
Speaker 3: I don't know how you like keep yourself from not having favorites.

00:09:24
Speaker 1: Well, okay, I had some who were my favorites. And now because I only I'm only there for the challenge and the saving ceremony, I'm not there all during the day. So in this last this last saving ceremony goes like this, they start attacking each other. On episode three, they start really going into each other and I was all shocked. You can see I'm standing there like this, Why isn't everyone getting along like that? And now I look back and it's like, because Catherine keeps.

00:09:52
Speaker 3: Love Oh my God, I can't wait. I'm going home and watch you.

00:09:57
Speaker 1: Yeah so so yeah, so they all sort of get this. Certain players that sort of try to play the game with muscle Ah Brett the boxer or Derek the detective. You know, those guys try to win through winning tasks and actually and then there's other people who try to actually play the game type of thing. But look, look, we all know the priest got through by the skin of his teeth or the pasta. He's not a priest of the pastor the skin of his teeth. Pastor Jacob, who's actually a really sweet guy. Now, I'm an atheist, right, and I always find that I think I find I find the dog. Thank god, you're an atheist. You are funny. I'm looking forward to your Netflix special. So I'm always had an aversion to the dog clouds type of thing.

00:10:41
Speaker 2: But he was he was.

00:10:42
Speaker 1: Kind of a sweet guy, and so afterwards he has he's got his handles, I think the inclusive pasta and he was like I was on the plane going back with him when we were leaving Argentina and he had like he had like trans rides this rides that like he's very like on his t shirt. So anyway, I said to him, I said, hey, look man, you know I said, look, I'm an atheist. And he goes, well, we have plenty of atheists in our in my parish. I'm like, why would they? He goes, it's all about inclusion and everyone getting along and all the type of stuff. And I said, ah, well, you know, well, if I'm ever in town, I'll pop on in. And then he goes, We're in Orange County, and I'm.

00:11:26
Speaker 2: Like, fuck, I'm too far.

00:11:28
Speaker 1: I always hoping he was going to go Oklahoma and be like, ah, well, very rare. I'm in Oklahoma, but I could definitely get the path to Jacobs Parish and join in.

00:11:37
Speaker 3: But all the time of day, in less than an hour, yeah, exactly, like in.

00:11:42
Speaker 1: This traffic, come on, now, come on. And also, I've always seen one of the privileges, like of being an atheist, one of the big privileges is and it's not for everyone right now. The people think people think you're going to burn in hell, like people think you're.

00:11:56
Speaker 3: That's like a Bible bumper.

00:11:57
Speaker 1: Well that's a bump. But yeah, yes, maybe burn in hell if there's a help, which there is, but if there is, if there is a hit I'm going to burn in hell, so let me have my Sundays off. I deserve the weekend if I'm going to burn for eternity.

00:12:11
Speaker 3: You know what, though, I understand I'm not an atheist.

00:12:16
Speaker 1: Ah, which one are you into? Well?

00:12:18
Speaker 3: I was raised spiritual because my mom was raised super Christian Bible bumpery, and then my dad was raised Mormon.

00:12:25
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's a great name for a gay strip club in Utah. More men, More like, I just I don't want to do it. I don't want to make it. But if if anyone in Utah is listening for a for a game mate or even like not even a gay strip club like one of those thunder from now Under review shows, totally, that's actually a great are Utah thunder from now on strip t show? Moremon?

00:12:52
Speaker 3: If I do it, are you going to come for a cut or can I just take it all to myself?

00:12:57
Speaker 1: No? But you let me. I get to eat for free. I don't know what the food is like.

00:13:02
Speaker 3: Can I tell you about it?

00:13:03
Speaker 1: I can't imagine strip club food's never been at ast but I can't imagine male.

00:13:07
Speaker 2: A little strip club steak.

00:13:09
Speaker 1: Never kids of that whipped cream with the spray you reckon they got backstage. You'd have that on everything at a male strip more.

00:13:15
Speaker 3: In Utah strip clubs you have to cover vagina and you have to wear pasties.

00:13:20
Speaker 1: So it's not a strip club, is it.

00:13:22
Speaker 3: It's not worth going technically, No, you have to wear underwear.

00:13:25
Speaker 1: The strip cub modies will be called your wife, your wife, come over here and enjoy your wife. Come on, strip club.

00:13:35
Speaker 3: I used to go to the strip club like literally every night to see my friend at Trails.

00:13:39
Speaker 1: Okay, and you have a strip club called Trails. Trails just from girls who didn't clan themselves properly and drag themselves across the stage, we would Trails Trails.

00:13:52
Speaker 4: We also had American Bush.

00:13:55
Speaker 1: It's a good one, but too political. I had to take it down. The Democrats didn't want to go in there.

00:14:04
Speaker 3: That was fine. That was like past the airport, Oh, the.

00:14:07
Speaker 2: One that's worth it.

00:14:09
Speaker 1: Look, if I'm out that way, I'm already there. I wouldn't make the trip. But if I've gone out there to buy a dog, might stop off at American.

00:14:19
Speaker 2: We only got to seven to eleven in that area.

00:14:21
Speaker 1: But then you like, because that may give you buy a dog, go to American Bush, go into the Strip club. You won't be in there for too long because someone complained about the dog being in the car. You only spend fifteen minutes saving yourself money. You'll be on your way home. Don't eat the food. My wife's looking at me like, who is this man? I'm just saying, why would I be out past the airport?

00:14:45
Speaker 3: That's usually where the shelters are.

00:14:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, whenever you go to buy an animal. When I was a kid, there was always like I say so, me and the wife. We lived in Cu City, and then we still live in Cu City. And then there was a the fires. Remember those fires made the news. We made the news, and the fire happened, and then we were in our house and there was a fire near pins Bowling, which isn't far from it that someone actually just set off. We thought the valley's next, you know, the palisades were done.

00:15:14
Speaker 3: We thought the valet was next totally.

00:15:15
Speaker 1: And so so we we have three cats, but only one cage. Because you never take them all to the vedic.

00:15:21
Speaker 3: Once, No, never, you never all once.

00:15:23
Speaker 1: You only need the one cage. We couldn't get one of them into the one cage. So we just went fuck it. We threw them all in. Now. I don't know what people feel about Eli, Musk and Tesla's these days, but thank god for hands free driving. When you got three terrified cats jumping around, that's the that's where it's meant. It's built for.

00:15:42
Speaker 4: That was built for that.

00:15:45
Speaker 3: That it's going to pull like a way most situation and just like go in circles and then you're really screwed.

00:15:49
Speaker 1: I've never used way yet.

00:15:51
Speaker 3: Well, I don't trust anything that's like, I don't trust humans, but I can trust like electronics wheelers.

00:15:56
Speaker 1: I just thought that's good. I can remember cash cab where you're getting the car and now they're on a game show host because I always thought I'm not good at reading and I'm not great at driving, but I'm average it either. Okay, you can do cash cab, but throw me in a way mo, I'll do that. There you go. Oh you just don't even use me. Just have a robot voice. Just have people trapped in you're in cash cab.

00:16:19
Speaker 3: No, but that's genius. You would save so much money producing that show. Yeah, yeah, you don't have to pay a talent fear for the host yeah.

00:16:25
Speaker 1: And if you get the answers right, you get to your destination. If you get the answers wrong, you go to your mother in law's house or something I don't know, somewhere you don't want to go. You go to American Bush. Everyone ends up in American Bush.

00:16:40
Speaker 4: If you get the questions for the trail that snails at trails.

00:16:45
Speaker 1: That's what I would say to my wife. I got caught in the American Bush. I got into a way mo cash cab. Who would make that story up?

00:16:56
Speaker 3: No?

00:16:56
Speaker 1: I I got all the answers wrong. None of them were about this. I didn't know anything.

00:17:07
Speaker 3: Hold on, how does that work with stand up? When your wife becomes part of the bed, does she freak? Do you run it past her? Or is it like surprise?

00:17:14
Speaker 1: No? Because before her, my comedy would be more about girlfriends or one night stands, or taking drugs or whatever. And now I'm older and I don't do those things, and I'm happily married and we've got kids, And I mean, so where does the comedy come from. I'm not putting myself in dangerous positions where I can get funny stories. We have to rip into this one. That's the only way we can do it. In my new special coming out August on Netflix, which hasn't been officially ann ouncet, but I do call her a racist homophobe, and I say, if people drive past her in the street to yell it out from the car and.

00:17:55
Speaker 3: Oh, wow, your wife is a.

00:17:58
Speaker 1: He's so homophobic. I did. I tried to suck one cock in front of her and she was offended. Terrible person.

00:18:05
Speaker 3: Okay, you run it back. See that's why you're a comedian. Let me talk about this cancel culture.

00:18:13
Speaker 1: My wife is uncancellable. I'm telling you, she's too good a person. That's why I push it onto her.

00:18:20
Speaker 2: If you can't cancel her, you can't cancel her.

00:18:22
Speaker 1: You know when she's you know, when you've got too many speeding tickets and then a camera catches you and then you go to your like your spouse or a brother or something, and you go, you're gonna have to take these points for me. This is what she's doing. She's getting her cancel up. So my cancel level is so high that I have to push all the bad things I do unto her.

00:18:41
Speaker 3: So do you think there's a line in comedy, Then of.

00:18:44
Speaker 1: Course there's a line in comedy, of course there's okay, this is now there will be comedians and so no, you should be able to joke about anything, and you can if you're really good. And also people have got to know that there isn't hate in you, okay if they what you tell a joke as long as you have a glint in your eye and you can sort of okay, here's the easiest way to do. You can joke about anything as long as you're completely comfortable about joking about that thing whilst that subject's in the room, okay, right, And if you can do it while that group of people or that individual is in the room, then you should be able to do it. And I've failed at that plenty of times. But that's that's what you know. There's jokes that I look back on where I go, didn't land No, landed, but the person who was in the room, and I wouldn't have had the balls to say it if they were. I've recorded eleven hours of stand up, right, So out of the eleven hours, there's fifteen minutes where I go, Yeah, I should have done things a bit differently there, you know what I mean. But that's but look in anyone's career.

00:19:54
Speaker 2: But yeah, you have to say it to understand that you went past the line.

00:19:58
Speaker 1: Well, but I don't like hurting. Innocence is the thing. The thing. But like we know, as you more so than me, as people who are in the public eye, that you just put up with people saying shit about you.

00:20:15
Speaker 3: That's all you do, right, Yeah, I mean there are moments where you cannot win, and then there are moments where you say, you know what, I'm going to take the l on this. And although I don't regret the entirety of what I said, there are pieces of it that could have been taken out, could have been said differently. And that's why I wonder at times if comedians draw the line for themselves, or if the public comes into play and you say, I have to remember that there are people who could be directly affected by what I say.

00:20:49
Speaker 1: For the most part, people who come and see comedy, my show is horrible. If you don't know I'm joking, right, not comedy, you come along and watch my stand up and go you can't believe it. I've always hated when someone reviews your show and then they do a transcript of what you said.

00:21:08
Speaker 3: Well, it always translates differently reads bad.

00:21:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a bad read. Yeah, if you don't have the Australian accent and a little bit of a.

00:21:20
Speaker 4: Right, well, yeah, there's emotion behind your joke is too that you're not gonna see in a read. Infliction the voice of everything.

00:21:30
Speaker 3: And there are times where I'll do, like something as simple as an Instagram story and I'll say fuck like seventeen times. If I do just like a black screen and write I do like a little asterisk or an emoji where the you is, I'm like, because when you see the word fuck, it just that's funny becomes more.

00:21:47
Speaker 1: Because I'm in the process of doing my biography at the moment, I have a writer working with me. It's literally become like therapy. I lay on the couch and I chucked the four and then I and then I start talking about me life and I'm going all the way through my children and my childhood and stuff like that. And I was talking about me mum, and then I was reading it back because then after he writes it, I read it back and I edit and make it sure it sounds right my voice. But he does it as I've been saying it and it's just like this, And then my fucking mum came over and she was fucking pissed off with me for some fucking reason, now me saying it, But then you read. And then my fucking mother came over and she was fucking upset about fucking and I was like, take all the fuckings out, take all the fuckings out right, I'll do them in the audio book.

00:22:38
Speaker 3: Yes, we're going to be following along week. Something's different here the.

00:22:43
Speaker 1: Audio version that one follows on. If you're listening to the audio version, you like me, you've read about two books in your life. Like my wife always comes to me and goes, have you ever read the book? I go, is it Chris Farley or Chevy Chase's biography? Because if it's not, then I haven't read it cently.

00:23:00
Speaker 3: Only read two books, and.

00:23:03
Speaker 1: It was the Chris Farley Show, which was with him, was his passages from like David Spade and Chris Rock and a Thur stuff, Wrinning Man. And I read the biography of Chevy Chase and that's and part from that. I listened to all your books. I watched a lot of documentaries. But anyway, so my for my audiobook I hate reading and I hate reading it loud. I'm really dyslexic, and I it's my biggest fear in school right. And when they were reading around the class and they do paragraph paragraphgraph.

00:23:31
Speaker 4: When that ship would happen, I would count out the kids and then read my paragraph. So I kind of like just had to memorized. And when I read, I don't retain ship because I'm like.

00:23:43
Speaker 1: Doesn't come in. I can read, but it doesn't come in.

00:23:46
Speaker 3: That must be like people, do you have.

00:23:50
Speaker 1: They said I did, but I don't know. I've got dyslexia, and they say.

00:23:54
Speaker 3: I'm mildly on the creative mind.

00:23:57
Speaker 1: We've all got Look. Look look I had the park in a regular spot. Okay, That's where I'm at life.

00:24:06
Speaker 3: I like that. By the way, though, school is now my AA meeting where I go to this meeting and they have you read the book.

00:24:15
Speaker 1: I'm like, you have to read it for the kids.

00:24:19
Speaker 3: We have to read it in the in the meeting with other alcoholics.

00:24:25
Speaker 1: Oh yes, sEH, I've done that. Yes, that's a lot of fun.

00:24:27
Speaker 3: And people are like, you have to read, you have to be of service. I'm like, in another way, this.

00:24:32
Speaker 2: Seventh tradition they always give me that one.

00:24:34
Speaker 1: AA wasn't for me, I understand, it's for a lot of other people. I don't like to think about alcohol, and now that I've left it behind me, I don't want to revisit it. But I mindful, but I know it works for different people.

00:24:47
Speaker 3: There's no judgment here.

00:24:48
Speaker 1: By the yeah, I found going to that actually made me depressed all the time because I kept on. But for other people they like And also I went to AA with a group of famous comedians. Oh right, fuck if those kinds don't enjoy sharing. These meetings were going for three hours. There was people there who were like, I haven't had a drink in twenty five years. And I walked past the bar the other day and I thought to myself, should I? But then I resisted, and I'm like, dude, I want to hear about the guy who hasn't had a drink in twenty four hours. You want a new comer, I need your twenty four years man. The longer the sob by the short of the chat.

00:25:36
Speaker 2: I know is a three minutes you get one.

00:25:38
Speaker 3: It's a meeting you guys put together. So there's no cap.

00:25:41
Speaker 2: Like literally, oh that would be my help.

00:25:43
Speaker 3: No, it's like this.

00:25:44
Speaker 1: Should be an they should be an egg, like suarian.

00:25:49
Speaker 3: What is a normal meeting.

00:25:50
Speaker 2: That's a normal meeting talking.

00:25:52
Speaker 3: The timer will go off and so I'm like, all right, next share, it's like, oh, I feel so bad, like you're getting cut off.

00:25:58
Speaker 2: Like they'll hear it and they'll go and I'll just end with this thank you.

00:26:02
Speaker 3: It's a lot. So do you consider yourself sober?

00:26:07
Speaker 1: Well? I am in marijuana, okay, I like edibles.

00:26:11
Speaker 3: Okay, you're an edible.

00:26:13
Speaker 1: I call myself high and dry. A lot of people called California sayer high.

00:26:16
Speaker 3: And dry, so much better, like high and dry, way better because that's actually representation of what it is.

00:26:22
Speaker 1: And a lot of people have told me that I've left them that as well, so.

00:26:25
Speaker 3: You know it's not no, but that should be the new name of it, because saying California is sober sober, you're not sober sober means that you don't participate in any substance that's going to take you out of your reality. So high and dry is ingenius and r.

00:26:41
Speaker 2: Are you edible during the day kind of guy or just a nighttime?

00:26:45
Speaker 1: I'm an evening okay, okay with my family. I'm a sort of evening to bed.

00:26:51
Speaker 3: Okay.

00:26:51
Speaker 1: But if you if you see me on any delta fly, I'm off my tits. I'm high. I'm high before I got on the plane you're flying. If I'm in an airplane, I'm just watching the same episode of the Office over and over again.

00:27:15
Speaker 2: You took off before you took off.

00:27:17
Speaker 3: Is this because you have a fear of flying or you're like, I just can't deal.

00:27:20
Speaker 1: No, I just fly all the time. I just try to make it more enjoyable for myself and so so I get high on flights. Although it depends what country you're going to, you know, But I said the flights domestic, domestic, and only out of l A, not the other way. Don't even check.

00:27:42
Speaker 3: Someone's talking to you.

00:27:43
Speaker 1: I got to know my sering. You know, not how to be hot flights.

00:27:48
Speaker 2: I've checked four flights.

00:27:51
Speaker 3: I've checked four flights. You cannot be high on any of them.

00:27:55
Speaker 1: I don't take any other drugs, no nothing else, no no alcohol, no nothing in weeds. Just my thing.

00:28:00
Speaker 3: Did you like drugs back in the day?

00:28:02
Speaker 1: I did. I quit them before I quit alcohol, and then I quit cigarettes after.

00:28:06
Speaker 3: Do you vab.

00:28:07
Speaker 1: I do not. I vaped after cigarettes, but I don't anything.

00:28:11
Speaker 2: Now, Wow, how did you kick the VP?

00:28:15
Speaker 1: I was in Europe and doing a tour and I can't remember what country I was in. I want to say Austria for some reason. But I was in Europe, a different country each a couple of days, you know, doing shows. And that was how I was still getting nicotine because I hadn't smoked in the whole time. I didn't want to go back to cigarettes. And then I moved. I was in a country that had no nicotine vapes. They only just had favored vapes, but they were the same brand as the ones that I was buying across Europe. Okay, so I bought like five vape free nicotine free ones and I had one nicotine one in the mix and I mixed them up and then I kept on doing this, and then I thought, I have to be out of nicotine now, right. Nicotine has to have left my system because I've been doing this now for four weeks. I've been smoking the nickedteine free vaps and so I was just addicted to that then and then I ended. And the biggest secret I will give to anyone whoever wants to give up cigarettes or vaping or anything like that is and this is from the Alan Carr book How to Stop Smoking. This is quite a famous book. You have to stop looking at other people smoking and vaping with envy, right, okay, because that's what I did every time. I used to quit for three months and then see someone smoking and someone to go, I'm going up a cigarette you want because there's always people. You can never get a free cigarette of someone when you're a smoker, when you've given up, everyone's like sure, because they want to bring your dawn. They do. They want, whether it's subconscious or whatever, they feel bad about themselves and smoking, so they want more people into the pack. So they try to drag you down. And so I always used to see people and then eventually they go, why don't you buy your own pack? After your above like five of the things, right? And then and then you're back in right right. So I used to look at people who were smoking. I wish I could, And now I look at them like they're slaves, Like they're still a slave to nicotine. I pity people who smoke. If I see someone standing outside like a Now, the funny thing is I had to make a couple of cigarettes in school, and I thought that my smoking kicked off when I was living in England when they banned smoking indoors. Right now, I was smoking a little bit, but okay, so then you would have to move outside. Now I think that it's always raining. They give you a little awning, right, a little roped off.

00:30:42
Speaker 2: Bit just for you to go out.

00:30:44
Speaker 1: And pretty girls don't pay for cigarettes. Not they for a lot of the time. Can I have a cigarette? Of course? Can I have a light? Of course? Now you're under a little awning with a girl. If I go inside out of his ship, my personality can't coming to play. They have there's an hilarious man in the rain smoking.

00:31:08
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it's like a movie love story.

00:31:11
Speaker 1: I never would have had sex without smoking. No, No, you wouldn't always remember. I'd hate to kiss someone you know, would be looking out an ASTRAI I wouldn't kiss someone who had a cigarette.

00:31:21
Speaker 3: They did, They did because they asked me for a cigarette. No, it's an epic conversation.

00:31:26
Speaker 1: Starter epic conversations.

00:31:28
Speaker 4: The hard thing with the babe is that you know whatever, And I never want anybody to.

00:31:35
Speaker 1: And so I could keep them on the vape. I used to paint a cold store on that's brilliant.

00:31:41
Speaker 3: I was like, really, what.

00:31:42
Speaker 1: A great No one want to hit anything that I only landed with my wife. You just stay.

00:31:49
Speaker 2: I was like, wait, hold on, this is a really good idea. Want anybody there.

00:31:54
Speaker 3: When I moved to l A and I was a heavy drinker as well, but I would buy swish or sweets, not roll a spliff, smoke them the way they were, and they don't have like right, but they are only like most people.

00:32:08
Speaker 4: It's a swish or sweet tobacco. They got grape flavor.

00:32:12
Speaker 3: All of the people buy them, and then you like backwoods pretty much cut it open and you roll a blunt like a spliff, right, little tobacco, little weed. I would just smoke them as they were and walk around I'm sure with like tobacco stuck in my teeth. It was not good.

00:32:30
Speaker 1: A lot of people that rallies in Britain. I always liked the people who did rallies because it felt like their cigarette. And they always say, anyone who's doing this anybody guys? Yeah, For some reason I take their advice because I can't do what the problem with you is you're just not giving yourself enough time to think. Maybe I'm not. I don't know why. I think this person's a siaged wise because you can roll a cigarette.

00:33:04
Speaker 3: I would listen to Wis Kalifa any day of the week his advice.

00:33:10
Speaker 2: Yes, I was taking because he was always giving it to me.

00:33:12
Speaker 3: Doing that, Yeah, totally. And there's something about like, I'm sure you have mad wisdom when you're on your edibles on a delta flight, like you've solved all the world's all right.

00:33:24
Speaker 1: See this is this is the plight of the good looking female. Right, Okay, okay, you think other people are talking on planes. No, No, the rest of us are just sitting down. When you get on a plane, the person next to you asked how you die?

00:33:41
Speaker 2: Is, oh, my flight's ruined.

00:33:42
Speaker 1: No one's ever asked me anything. I've never do you when you.

00:33:46
Speaker 2: Plan, no, I don't talk to anybody.

00:33:47
Speaker 4: And when that person is like god, if this is the flight, I will put air pods in and not play music.

00:33:54
Speaker 2: Just because I'm like hopefully they think.

00:33:56
Speaker 1: No one's trying to talk to you.

00:33:59
Speaker 4: But when i'm I become a talker and the women love to chat on a part.

00:34:07
Speaker 1: Talk to you s No, I'm talking about functional members of society. No one talks important people who we don't have to get rid.

00:34:13
Speaker 3: Of the amount of friends my sixty four year old mother has met on a plane. I met the nicest man on the plane. I'm like, who who the talk?

00:34:24
Speaker 4: A plane is the quiet game until we touch down.

00:34:28
Speaker 2: No one say a fucking word.

00:34:29
Speaker 3: I'm pissed off because now I have my virgo starts going insane of I've got to remove the overhead.

00:34:36
Speaker 1: Is that stat sign or like you mean, like vertigo virgo?

00:34:42
Speaker 3: What's your star sign?

00:34:44
Speaker 1: Uh? Aquarius?

00:34:47
Speaker 3: My day. We don't believe in God, so why would you believe in the stars that he created?

00:34:54
Speaker 1: I believe in the God from the other solid system that created it, not what Hey, I don't I don't believe there's I don't believe that there's there's trillions of stars. There's more stars than in a beach of sand, is grains of sand or whatever. There's more. There's more solar systems than that, and that God created all of those and he found the time to as a tourist visitors two thousand years ago. Is he just doing a lap around the universe? Was the next one I'm off to Mars. Is it the same bloke, or is Jesus going everywhere? I know he visited Utah?

00:35:30
Speaker 3: Or if I were a Mormon, I guess I would tell you to put your questions on the shelf and.

00:35:35
Speaker 1: I'd get back to stripping, come back to trail, get back to go back to more men, and get on it.

00:35:43
Speaker 3: Were you raised religious?

00:35:45
Speaker 1: My mother what said she was religious, but we didn't go to church. My father's an atheist, but I never really asked my dad about it until until ten years ago. I never thought to ask him because he never talked about it. My grandfather was religious. My mother liked to have a guys of We watched a lot of Cecil b de Mill movies.

00:36:06
Speaker 3: What is that?

00:36:07
Speaker 1: They're the old Biblical the Ten Commandments with ben hur the Ten Commandments with the Charlton Heston type of things. Those type of movies. We used to rock out. So that was my religious upbringing, was watching it. And I used to watch those those plaster scene Christmas movies like the Drama Boy. Oh yeah, I knew what was going on there. I've seen the Life of Brian. I know all about the life of You've never seen the Life of Brian.

00:36:34
Speaker 3: No but Brian the Dog on Family Guys Etheists.

00:36:38
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna I'm going to get the Life of Brian is. Whenever in the UK they did the top one hundred comedies of all time, it always comes number one. It's Monty Python's finest work. Okay, and it is work. It is worth sitting down and watching.

00:36:54
Speaker 3: All right, done.

00:36:55
Speaker 1: I think it's on Netflix. I think, like last time I watched it on Netflix, but it would be very easy to fine. It's a hugely famoused. Now my wife's noting on because I just made her and my twelve year old watch it, okay, and they both liked it so good. Yes, So I put off watching it my whole like childhood in England because I've had no interest, and you made me watch it like a year or two ago.

00:37:20
Speaker 3: Incredible, Okay, Okay, we have to watch what I'm watching tonight.

00:37:24
Speaker 1: It's the basic story is it's a bloke whose life runs parallel to Jesus right in the same era at the same time, and we could have all worshiped him whatever. Yeah, but it's it's it's you know, Eric God or John Clees, not Pale.

00:37:40
Speaker 2: It's it's it's it's great done.

00:37:42
Speaker 3: I'm watching it tonight.

00:37:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, tell me this.

00:37:45
Speaker 3: You're older.

00:37:45
Speaker 1: You're meant to be watching the Snake tonight though, so you.

00:37:50
Speaker 2: Must not know us.

00:37:52
Speaker 3: It goes to bed at five. You've got all the hours in the world to revenge.

00:37:57
Speaker 1: Hold your child. Child.

00:37:59
Speaker 3: I have a four year old dughter named Ocean and an almost ten month old named Sosa. I say, goes to bed at five, So goes to bed at five?

00:38:07
Speaker 1: When is ice gotta be?

00:38:08
Speaker 3: Ocean rocks it like a champ.

00:38:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, you going to get late. These idiots who are like, oh, it's all right for you. My child wakes me up at six am every morning those decades. You're here's you put him to bed at fucking seven? What did you think was going to happen?

00:38:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, nine o'clock.

00:38:26
Speaker 1: What did you think You think it was gonna sleep for fourteen fucking hours? You get eleven hours out of the bastard. That's it.

00:38:33
Speaker 3: I hear this. Let me tell you. On school nights, we have a routine. When it's not school, I'm teaching her. You don't have school, you can watch a show, you can play in your playroom, and I just let her kind of be the one that's like, I feel tired. I want to go to bed now. A lot of people are gonna be like, you need routine.

00:38:50
Speaker 1: We do.

00:38:51
Speaker 3: We got routine. But when you have an infant who goes to bed at five and sleeps until she rocks it until seven am, it gives me a lot of time to watch all the shows that you recommend. Yeah, so I will be watching The Snake, I will be watching Life of Brian.

00:39:08
Speaker 1: You have a great night ahead of you. I'm jealous. That's a good night. That's great Episode three of The Snake in the Life of Brian Winner.

00:39:17
Speaker 3: You know, do you give you? I was wondering, do you hearst mates.

00:39:20
Speaker 1: And really have a good talk.

00:39:22
Speaker 3: I was just thinking for dinners is all, you know, that's all we do. Do you cook?

00:39:28
Speaker 1: I do cook, but a limited amount of things. But the things I do cook are good.

00:39:33
Speaker 3: Okay, well that's good.

00:39:34
Speaker 2: I'd rather have you're like my mother. She doesn't cook a lot, but like what she cooks is oh.

00:39:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, I make hamburgers on the barbecue very good. And you know, I don't buy frozen patties or anything. I make the patties and go all the things. I make really good meat balls, Okay, say my spaghetti. Your meat balls are pretty good.

00:39:53
Speaker 3: Love it?

00:39:54
Speaker 1: And that's everything.

00:39:56
Speaker 3: Hey, that's all you need.

00:39:57
Speaker 1: I can cook others when I did by myself. I used to cook all, but the wife takes over the cooking.

00:40:03
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm impressed.

00:40:04
Speaker 1: Is she watching who? She's very good cook? I didn't know. I was waiting to see she's turned that way.

00:40:10
Speaker 3: No, she's here. Impressed.

00:40:14
Speaker 1: My stand up comedy has gotten to I am like a nineteen fifties cabaret actors like, Ah, my wife don't even mention my mother in law? My mother and is a very nice lady. She's actually staying with us, right.

00:40:28
Speaker 2: How funny is the best of full house.

00:40:31
Speaker 1: She's a big fan of yours. She was over excited.

00:40:35
Speaker 3: Oh you should have brought her.

00:40:36
Speaker 1: I would have been. She's taking care of the kids. A letter, y Why didn't you let her so much?

00:40:44
Speaker 3: My mom? We love her? I love her mom. I packed my mom on like a like. Literally, I am Paris Hilton. My mother is tinker Bell. That's how we roll. No, I love herm mom. I want to know about the snake. Do they have an earwig in they did they did.

00:40:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes I'd walk out for the game. That's there's no teleprompts in the Argentinian jungle, right, Yeah, so you walk out that you're standing in a field, there's all these crates around you. Welcome to the snake. This is the And then like you know, to begin with as well, when you turn to someone you have to go so and then you hear Derek Derek like as you get it, as you go along, you get to know him a lot better and all that type of stuff. Right, But also for there's certain things like in saving ceremonies, there's there's something that comes up now where I ask a question to someone, just something basic, like you seem alarmed by the whole thing? Do you feel portrayed or something like that. Well, I don't know. I haven't been in the house. I haven't seen on the footage. I've just showed up for the saving ceremony. So I'm I'm watching the show back now right going, Oh my god, that's why I am so angry with it. I love watching the show. I'm obsessed and so so, yeah, I do have an earwig that goes in there, and uh, Sally Anne is the person talking to me. Sally Anne is a reality TV got. She she created Jersey Shore. Oh when she tells you something, she'll be listening to this podcast as well.

00:42:15
Speaker 3: Good. I hope she does. I feel like honored if she listens to this. Yeah, give her a wave on YouTube. That's Jersey Shore was like before you even realized how like you didn't. You couldn't produce a scene because these people were so authentically chaotic that you had to just you had to put cameras in every room to catch every it was. The casting was fantastic off the hook, and you just like when they're out at these bars, they were like feral cats. You can produce a fucking scene like where I come from. It's like, hey, we're gonna get you and Brittany to sit right here, and they like roped it off. It's it's like a whole thing, right. Jersey Shore is a chef's kiss. I pray to god she listens to this episode. I would be so honored to.

00:43:05
Speaker 1: She already texted me on the way over here to ask me how went, and I said, I'm going to do it right now.

00:43:10
Speaker 3: And what are you going to tell her?

00:43:12
Speaker 1: She'll watch it?

00:43:14
Speaker 2: Do you how do you feel.

00:43:15
Speaker 1: I'll tell her I said I wouldn't talk to her on a plane.

00:43:20
Speaker 3: I'm honored by the way. Where's your next stand up going to be?

00:43:25
Speaker 1: I'm flying to fuck This is how I find out where I am in the world. Jim Jefferies dot com. Serious, Yeah, I'm going someone else tops it up for me. If you look at this, you'll know where you're going to be. Yeah, I know, okay, because I'm going to do Hawaii in the summer because I always find Hawaii. I was just out of the blue find Hawaiian gigs to do in summer. Azing, so, and then I am going to be in Maui at the Castle Theater on July twenty fifth and July twenty sixth, I will be in Honolulu, and then my next gig that is Lisbon, Portugal, and I go all across Europe for like two three months.

00:44:04
Speaker 3: That is really incredible.

00:44:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's it's before Netflix specials you. I was one of the few international comics and when we say international comics that I could play Australia, UK and America. And that's because I put the time into all three of those continents, okay, And I put the time, and I kept on going back and doing gigs and doing gigs and doing gigs. But if you had an HBO special, it was still only watched in America, and then they might sell it on to another country or whatever. You have a Netflix special, bang especially so now I too. I just did Japan. I've got you know, I've got gigs.

00:44:42
Speaker 3: In I watch hacks. Yeah, I don't know if you watch hack.

00:44:46
Speaker 1: I don't like watching people acting stand up. I heard it's very good.

00:44:50
Speaker 3: It's very that would I understand why that would be hard. But she goes to the Philippines or something. I'm blinking, and she's delivering her stand up. But there's a and I'm blinking on what that's called translator? A translator? How what is that like? When you perform in a place where you don't speak their language.

00:45:14
Speaker 1: Well, because they've come to see you, they've seen you on Netflix. These are the people who.

00:45:19
Speaker 3: Do speak Okay, so you can't actually cut that out.

00:45:22
Speaker 1: Well, I speak multiple languages.

00:45:26
Speaker 3: Because he reads a lot of books. Subtitle I've got a show.

00:45:31
Speaker 1: I've got a charity gig coming. Tell me you think this is funny because I've got a charity gig coming up. Will Smith from the Dodgers has a charity thing where he has stand up and I'm doing the gig, right, so the Dodgers, yeah, we love it. So the Dodgers are going to be there, right, And they said it last year's show, Mookie Bets, Freddie Freeman, all these different people, all that, and then I was like, you want to meet show how your Tarny of course and Yamamoto. But it turns out they're stuck up and I don't want to go to English speaking comedy because they're full of themselves right now because the course they don't speak English good enough. So this I'm thinking of opening the show. I'm going to ruin my opening now. In the week coming up to the show, I'm going to learn a joke in Japanese already SOLDI, and then I'm going to get up and go hit it. I can't do that, right, but that's that's the gist of Japanese. That was a Japanese that my wife's shaking her head, very racist because she enjoyed it anyway, So I'll go do it. And then I go, that was a waste of a fucking time. I didn't show up fucking where's Yamamoto when your fucking needing? Because many many years ago, many years ago, I had a corporate I did a Christmas function. I was living in Manchester, England this twenty years ago and I did a corporate function for Manchester United at that stage, the largest, the most pop of the sports team in the world, Manchester. You know this has had Wayne Rooney, is the strike of Rude van Nistelroy and all like real classic players. And I got up and I was like, I finished the gig. And my dad is never that excited by different gigs do He's been seeing me do this since I was seventeen. And I said, Dad, I'm going to play Manchester United. My father's a big football fan and my dad's never run. It brings me up all the time now because my mother's dead, right But like before my mother died, he never rang me up. The phone would get pasted to him. I'd speak to For the last ten years of my mother's life, I didn't know my dad could talk. Every time, every time my father went to talk, my mother would go, shut up, Gary, you're an idiot. I used to defend him and go let him talk. What do you talk to him like that. Why would you get into him? Anyway? My mom was dead for about three days before me and my brother's got together and went mum was doing some good work because my dad's opinions of what my son calls windows up opinions anyway, So what was I talking about doing? Manchester United? Him? Right? So I was doing Manchester United?

00:48:05
Speaker 3: And I.

00:48:07
Speaker 1: Went on stage and half the team just fucking was ignoring me, just like like I had a few of the lads laughing, and half the team. I couldn't get anything out of him. And then I went and sat out afterwards and they fed me a meal in like the little alleyway thing like I wasn't to eat with the rest of the people sitting like on a milk crate a meal, and my dad wrings me up and he goes, how was it? And I went it was all right, I said. Rooney thought I was funny, and Gigs thought I was all right. But Louis Vasa and this door now, and then he goes, they don't speak English, and I was like, oh, they're all friendship people and all type of stuff. There was a language barrier they weren't getting through.

00:48:56
Speaker 2: Help a light of them. That's to sit there looking back.

00:49:00
Speaker 1: Wow, it's all right. You don't speak fucking English, but don't throw tomatoes. Don't be a cun about it right before.

00:49:07
Speaker 3: I really, I don't think.

00:49:09
Speaker 1: I can't say the sword on your podcast?

00:49:11
Speaker 3: Can I see your next Tuesday word?

00:49:12
Speaker 2: I love that word, We love that word.

00:49:14
Speaker 1: Oh, but your audience might be.

00:49:18
Speaker 3: Some days they wake I'm really excited, and some days they wake up not that excited. But that's okay, that's life. No, I'm fine with it.

00:49:25
Speaker 1: I don't say it on the Snake.

00:49:29
Speaker 2: That's why I was watching.

00:49:30
Speaker 1: If you're watching this podcast and you find me annoying, don't worry. I'm hardly in the show. You can enjoy it without me. I'm just passing through the show. They didn't even put me on the billboard. They put it I got all your shows on a Times Square. Fucking brilliant. There's a picture of a priest, and only just the two of them that it was the priest, the only fans of one of the cop and I think the Vonte is.

00:50:00
Speaker 3: Yeah. A lot of a lot of people to fit onto one space.

00:50:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, not all the contestants got on either.

00:50:05
Speaker 2: When you could have just put Jim Jefferies.

00:50:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I could. I should have just like they should have been the center and then just be in the corner.

00:50:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, holding a snake.

00:50:14
Speaker 1: Oh, this is the thing. I kept on asking to hold a snake. I got all Steve Irwin on this bitch, right. I showed up. I showed up to the show like this game, give me a snake. I wanted to open like I wanted to be.

00:50:24
Speaker 3: They should have given you like a Britney Spears moment.

00:50:26
Speaker 1: I wanted to be welcome to the snake and holding up a snake and then and then they were like, oh, but then people will know that the snakes aren't scary and that because there's the snake tasks where they have to touch him and stuff and where I.

00:50:38
Speaker 3: Thought I stays are terrifying. And I mean it doesn't even matter if because at the end of the day, you know who has the medallion. Besides, when it's being swapped in the boxes, right then you want to be like you want to be on your game. You would know immediately if I touched a snake.

00:50:52
Speaker 1: Well, that's why the first episode isn't as fun as the other ones, because they're not doing anything great, they're just touching snakes, but they're sort of just feeling each other out and they wanted to separate the group pops.

00:51:00
Speaker 3: And I kind of loved that part. Yeah, the beginning of a show, like the setup. It just it's like the first drink where you start feeling a little warm.

00:51:08
Speaker 1: Well, the next few episodes, this new one, they start yelling at each other. They're like, I.

00:51:15
Speaker 3: Got the competition aspect, we need the reality team.

00:51:18
Speaker 1: Yeah no, no, no, that's that's kicking in. But I believe I don't approve of this, but I think I'm the first Australian game show, a reality show hosting in America, right, And I think it's only because of they like the accent with the word welcome to the snake.

00:51:35
Speaker 3: The snake for the moment you walked in, I said, crikey, I tell.

00:51:40
Speaker 1: You what I say. My wife can attest to this. I say crikey. In the wild about four times a year. It involves me stubbing a toe or seeing like a really big frog or something.

00:51:54
Speaker 5: Big frogs when he travels very rarely, very really well, I'm stubbing my toe once maybe once a year, I see a massive frog that olds me going kroaky?

00:52:06
Speaker 3: What does mean?

00:52:07
Speaker 1: Crikey just means fuck me, like fuck me because fuck me. It's the overtone of like can your bloody believe it? Can?

00:52:16
Speaker 3: I say it? Way more than when you.

00:52:17
Speaker 1: See something that's too big or like bigger than you think or something like that, you go krikey.

00:52:24
Speaker 3: Oh I love it even more.

00:52:25
Speaker 1: Now.

00:52:25
Speaker 3: I have a friend who's married to an Australian man, and every time he calls, I.

00:52:30
Speaker 1: Think, is this is he from vand Pump is change? Yes, yes, yeah, he knows me. One time I was at Lisa's house and they rang up and he wanted to chat to me for and then I when him at the dog charity. What's his name again, Frocky brock brook Yeah, Brooks are right, he's a good guy.

00:52:49
Speaker 3: Wait, I want you to tell me because that's our Like.

00:52:51
Speaker 1: I got trouble at this. I got trouble at Lisa Vander Pump's dog Charity because the Mike Tyson Jake Paul fight was on and they were all talking about rescuing dogs.

00:52:59
Speaker 6: Were that every everyone was on their someone was like, like I was just gigging in Canada for Game seven of the Stanley Cup and Edmondson's playing and it was very and there was people like all in Edmonton Jerseys, like you know Canadians, like it's very hard to tell people to go, hey, don't get on your phone.

00:53:21
Speaker 1: And and so I just lied and said different scores that didn't matter to upset them. Oh you're down five runs me now what the fuck? Anyway? So yeah, so we know Lisa's Lisa is my girl. Man. I love Lisa connection so wide and Lisa have. We get a kick out of each other. We do. We like each other. We we I did a podcast and then I did a TV show with the British got James James with James and then and then after that she invited us up to Villa Rosa and you look, you got to see this one's and the and the ponies and sing and then and then it was like come to my birthday. But then we just organic. We became actual friends. We call each other up and have chats and stuff.

00:54:12
Speaker 3: That so happy.

00:54:14
Speaker 2: She wouldn't as a friendship for sure.

00:54:16
Speaker 1: She's a nice lady. Man, She's a nice lady. And she commands every space he's in and I admire I like this whole idea of one time she just like she was. She she was just what I try to think of. One time she was getting like her wardrobe redone right, and she said, and it was just me over at the house and she goes, come up, I want to show I want to show you the warro Come up, Come on, And I was like this and she goes move ken over to that room and there's pink things like this, and it was so lost in me. But I remember standing in her wardrobe going, how many women on Earth would swap places with me right now to be in Lisa vander pubs A lot.

00:54:58
Speaker 3: Of people a lot, because you've seen that space on television, like when people would watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The first time that I walked into it, I was like this, you don't believe in heaven, but if it does exist, I think it would be Lisa vander Pump's bedroom and closet.

00:55:18
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, you think you think you would just be floating around with handbags all arounda.

00:55:22
Speaker 3: Oh, all the burkins all like her shirts that these like simple button ups that all have her name, and everything's perfectly pressed. And she SIPs tea on white carpet and there's not a stain on it. It's all just fucking and.

00:55:35
Speaker 1: She she puts the flowers in his And she's wonderful with children, yep, because her grandson is the same age as our son, a three year old, and so we've been to these parties and stuff and she's just a delight around kids. And it's it's like if you she cooks for you and then she cleans up and then she does it, and it's just like, is there anything she doesn't No, she.

00:55:58
Speaker 3: Has zero help. By the way, she doesn't have any assistant. She does all of her on floral arrangements, cooks, does the whole bit. Just a massive empire.

00:56:06
Speaker 1: You know. Okay, So this with men, there is a certain element of men will look up to older men will go like, I'd love to beat Clint Eastwood. He's a bad arts dude or whatever, or some old athlete that you think, oh, I like that. But now now, for I might be wrong, But for women not so much. When they meet an older woman, they might admire the old woman, they might think she's great, but no young girl wants to be Meryl Streep or maybe if they're an actress or something like that, Okay, Lisa vander Pump is the only more mature person I've ever met. Where young girls when they know that I know her, lose their shit and they want like girls in their early twenties are like, oh my god, you know she is the queen. I want to be maybe another women in their sixties that women lose their mind.

00:57:00
Speaker 3: I can't think of any Every time we would film and Lisa would walk into the building, it was like the Beatles just walked out exactly. It was insanity.

00:57:09
Speaker 1: I've dined with her in Pump okay, right, and then she Tom Thom had just opened up like this, and she was like she went to me and she goes, she goes, she goes, oh, I have to show you Tom. We have to look good, Tom. And she picks up Jiggy and she and then she had diamonds hanging down here in the cleavage out and you have to walk like two doors up to get the pump. And we walked and there was like I think there's like a gay night. It was like a fish drink.

00:57:40
Speaker 2: They're dancing and stuff on poles.

00:57:42
Speaker 1: And fish taking gay guys that all rushed up to the window and she walked by and she just strutted down and they were, Oh my god, she's there.

00:57:53
Speaker 3: She's there like this, people go crazy for her. She's she's an icon in so many ways, whether it's you're an entrepreneur, she's a gay icon. Women who are my age and younger are like, oh my god, I want to achieve what this woman has.

00:58:07
Speaker 1: You want to know what she issue. Was an influencer before they were influencer. Yeah, totally before the Internet everything. And Ralph l Looren was a similar type of dude, right, he was like a guy who just hanged out in the Hamptons, look really good in clothes, and anyone like, there's this style of this guy that keeps showing it. You go to Lisa. The food's great, right, but you go there to be Lisa. Yeah, she decorates herself. Oh yeah, I think so.

00:58:32
Speaker 3: You're stepping into her other home.

00:58:33
Speaker 1: You're stepping into her world. That is the secret sauce. The secret source.

00:58:38
Speaker 3: Is her every detail.

00:58:40
Speaker 1: You know, if you if you like, you know, her fingerprints are all over it. Yeah. Yeah, she's wonderful person.

00:58:46
Speaker 3: Well, actually it makes me feel like it's wild that like I could pick up the phone and call this woman you just.

00:58:54
Speaker 1: Let's do it, miss call is it Lisa?

00:58:57
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:58:58
Speaker 1: From twelve to fifty two.

00:59:00
Speaker 3: Shut the front door. That's wild. It was meant to be.

00:59:04
Speaker 2: It was meant to be.

00:59:06
Speaker 1: We'll see, we'll see, we'll see. She's probably arranging flowers as we speak. We'll leave, We'll leave it on because she will, she will.

00:59:14
Speaker 3: Call back, she will call back. Oh my god, I'm so excited about this. Okay, I'm keeping you on for the bonus and I'm so excited for the bonus. But before we do that, where can people watch the Snake?

00:59:26
Speaker 1: The Snake is on Fox, but catch it on Hulu as well.

00:59:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, I stream it on Hulu.

00:59:32
Speaker 1: Stream it on And to the people who haven't said you can't see the first two, we probably can on demand or whatever. But just go to Hulu now and bings the first two yep, and then you'll be up to date for episode three.

00:59:43
Speaker 3: And it airs on what nights Tuesdays, Tuesdays, Love Tuesday.

00:59:47
Speaker 1: Tuesday Leading shows the one Percent Club straight into the Snake and you'll be like, welcome to the Snake. And then I'll go like this Kraakey and I wear khakis the whole time, and I just come out of the bushes like this. There's a lot of snake as in there.

01:00:04
Speaker 3: I can tell that your wife has a really fun time.

01:00:08
Speaker 1: She laughs at me. We make each other.

01:00:11
Speaker 3: She and you get to admire how stunning she is.

01:00:14
Speaker 1: Well, she's also very funny.

01:00:16
Speaker 3: I can tell her.

01:00:17
Speaker 1: She's she's got like my my sister in law, her sister. That's how it works. So your sister in law, My sister in law is a comedy right just coincidentally is a comedy writer for the BBC right sitcoms and stuff like that. So her family comes from a very comedy based type of quick witting. Her parents funny people.

01:00:38
Speaker 3: I love that. I'm so happy that you came, by the way, Tasy, Yes, so happy. All right, we're gonna jump in.

01:00:45
Speaker 1: We'll be able to back out for lunch afterwards, and then we'll just go home to your mom and go out fucking La La cantor.

01:00:57
Speaker 3: Can I say that that My bio drag name is La is Like, Yeah, isn't fabulous?

01:01:03
Speaker 1: When I wear glasses, I call myself Kent. I don't know if it works.

01:01:08
Speaker 3: It depends on it. Yeah, Cunt.

01:01:14
Speaker 1: Doug was was late after all those years, But he took him off and then went, ah, she dated the bloke, met the two blokes, never even just went you look like the same dude, just a slightly better posture. That was all that Superman did. He was like a hunchback and then just went feeling good.

01:01:37
Speaker 3: I can't believe Jim Jefferies, thank you for being on that.

01:01:42
Speaker 1: I've had a wonderful time. Anytime you want me back. I know this is mostly reality TV, but maybe you know the second season of The Snake, we come back here, we do it all again season finale The Snake, if you I'll come back.

01:01:55
Speaker 3: I love it, and we mentioned it all here, not just not just the reality TV. But you're in the world now, I.

01:02:02
Speaker 1: Mean I'm in the world. I'm also I'm I'm part of Bachelor Nation. I do a few Bachelor podcasts. We just did Nick by ours as well.

01:02:12
Speaker 3: Really, my wife is a huge one. That's a huge one because.

01:02:15
Speaker 1: Well we know Nick, but we watched that. We started watching The Bachelor ironically, me and the wife during COVID. This is what these fucking idiots get up to. And then unless it's on at the same time as The Snake, then it's a piece of ship. Don't watch it. I don't even know what channel. I'm going to shut up. I'm meant to be here representing Fox for Fox's sake. Out of all the game show hosts on American TV, I do say you cut the most on podcasts. You've got to give credit where credits due, because when you think of what the guy from the Bachelor was canceled for, right, yeah, you've got to get ahead of it, you do. You've got to get ahead of the cancelation. What you've got to do is you've got to say so much that when they go to cancel you, you go.

01:02:59
Speaker 3: For what what?

01:03:01
Speaker 1: What? What?

01:03:01
Speaker 3: Bit was it?

01:03:03
Speaker 2: I've said a lot of it.

01:03:07
Speaker 3: You are fucking hysterical. Thank you guys for listening to another episode of the givena Lalla Podcast. Jim Jeffries is sticking around for the bonus. You can catch down on Monday. We will catch you guys again next week. Bye.

01:03:21
Speaker 1: I'll tell you when I smell my best. When I'm going through a duty free store, I always pick a separate person that sitting next to me might enjoy this or I hate it.

01:03:33
Speaker 3: You don't buy you just use this.

01:03:35
Speaker 1: I fly so much. I don't have to buy. I'm a little plane. Every week, I just sample my way through life.