12 Steps of Christmas - Act 3

Act three log line twelve's log line Who wrote this.
Log line?
Twelve Steps of Christmas a filthy Christmas comedy. When a
rebellious kid is to night his dream Christmas present by
his mom, He goes to a strange alcoholic father who
lies about being sober, with an idea adapt the twelve
Step program to teach me how not to be you hell.
You been drinking along and home.
That's not just your liquor talking.
Act two hated a little harder and left us all
in our whiskey fields, ending with Jake bolting from his
mom's apartment into the night. We'll Ashley find him. Can
they reconcile after such a big fight? What about Carl
and Jake had their own falling out. Carl also needs
to win over mister Humbug himself is Dowur p oh
River Jordan.
And what about me?
Well, my ice freeze in time for my next drink?
Stay tuned, Just just just slow down, you see bug,
drink up?
Bah?
I mean, what what are you a woman? Statistically?
Yes?
You you you podcast listener?
You?
I think that's super Personally mmm, I love women.
The wrong ones love me though, or at least they
love my money or my looks inherited both from a
vindictive mother for what wash them both to increasingly younger
versions of her no less well, look at.
Me now A face on the radio?
Baby anyho.
ENJOYAK three, Jake and Carl try to give Ashley one
nice day that ne'ts some nice fucking I suppoly fucking
cold water more.
Life exterior town streets, city bus stop night. Jake waits
with others. It's scary for a kid. Christmas is bursting
all around, but the mood is not cheery. Even the
warm expressions are tired and worn down. Interior, redepartment, living
room night. Ashley's alarm goes off and she is just
waking up when she is attacked by horror, assaulted by
the sight of Jake's reconstructed ceramic Santa's statue. Santa's face
is disturbing, off kilter, ungodly, and raw. Still, Jake tried
his best. Ashley screams, then regains herself.
Oh my god, Jake, you've fixed it's thank you so much.
This is such a great present. Jake, you hear me,
the whole place, really, it's amazing.
We see in full glory. The apartment is bedecked with
every Christmas decoration possible. Jake decorated like an eleven year
old boy might, poorly, but with unrestrained enthusiasm.
You really put out all the decorations.
I mean all.
Is that a minora? I don't even know we had
one of those? Jake, where are you?
She sees his coat is gone. Carl is passed out
on the couch. A handle of Seagrum seven whiskey stands
on the table, littered with the empty cans of the
Delaware pork chowder. He's been eating cold. His cell rings
startling him.
Jesus' birthday? Hell?
He answered, sits up straight like it'll help hide his state.
Ashley, Merry Christmas.
Wait are you sure we had a big fight?
I only napped a few minutes, but when I got up,
he's not here.
Carl knows his role in this and hates himself.
He lied to me. A cop had to bring him home.
I know, and it's my fault.
What are you talking about?
I was there, Jake's been coming by, We've been hanging
out together.
What did you forget what it felt like to fuck
with your family?
I'm coming over, No, I'm coming right now.
Carl hangs up and looks around. The apartment is clean
except for evidence of recent reckless shut in drinking. Carl
throws an empty two liter across the room. Exterior town
Streets night, Carl battles the beginning of a snowstorm, navigates
ice and slush as wind blasts his face. He wraps
his green jacket tight. As we realize this might be
the only code he owns, Carl dips into an alley
and drinks from his handle of whiskey. He sees a
homeless woman looking at him from her tent.
You drink, She nods.
Carl's give her the rest.
Of the yeah dy, She nods.
Carl gives her the rest of his bottle.
Merry Christmas.
Help me, I need as good to quila. She nods.
Carl gives her the rest of his bottle Merry Christmas.
Carl smiles. Exterior redepartment Night. Carl collects himself, knocks. Ashley answers,
and he takes off his hat, hair matted in some places,
sticking up in others. A few beats without words, Ashley
steps aside to let him in. Interior bus moving night.
Jake looks at his phone to distract himself from troubling
stuff in the seats around him, until it suddenly shuts off.
You We're just fucking fool.
He desperately tries to turn it on. It works and
he exhales before it inexplicably dies again, like old phones
would do. The bus comes to a stop and everybody
begins to get off. Jake is confused over the pa.
The disinterested bus driver says something unintelligible except for the
word transfer exterior city bus stop night. Everyone but Jake
hurries off into the cold. Jake is left alone looking
at a huge map of bus routes. It's impossible to
figure out, and the wind is brutal. The only person
around is a one legged drunk in a wheelchair.
Okay, yeah, I just see you know your transfer, brother?
Do you need to call somebody?
The drunk offers his phone. Jake takes it, relieved.
I don't know the number. Do you have Facebook Messenger
or really? I just need Facebook to call.
Facebook.
You can put it on there, but no, I don't
exactly keep in touch with the family.
My Christmas letter would be a real bummer.
He smiles and drinks liquor from a brown paper bag.
Jake realizes the man's situation in life.
What about you? What are you gonna do?
He gives Jake a small cheers before he takes another swing.
Make your call, call home.
Jake nods as the drunk wraps his jacket tighter. Interior redepartment,
living room night. Ashley paces in front of car.
He wanted help being a better person.
Why would he pick you of all people?
I'm his dad?
You thought you could make up for eleven years of
shitty parenting in one week?
Maybe I did?
Yeah, I lied to him. I told him you cleaned up,
so we didn't think his father was. How you been anyway?
Well that lie you told about me being okay, that'd
be a big one.
They see the snowstorm picking up out the window. Cell
phone advertisement for me Phone thirteen GD, same style as
the ad from earlier Park Day. A group of sparkly
teens pose for an epic pick. Unseen by them, a
nearby landscaper pushes his lawnmower their way through phone camp
steadies on the teens snaps a pick. The image it's
ruined by this landscaper who came into frame looking so
tired and overworked and sweaty, yuck.
Life can get in the way of your real story.
The image boom, the landscaper disappears in an instant.
Now you can crop out the noise.
Family room day and above it. Mom and her unexceptional
family pose for a pick. Mom is pissed at her
crying newborn. Through phone cam steadies on the family snaps
a pick the image it's ruined by this crying newborn.
So friends your true self.
The image boom. Mom's frown is replaced with a smile boom.
The crying newborn is replaced with a thriving house plant.
The me phone thirteen GD It's worth it if you are.
Pull out and see the ad is playing on interior.
Grandma's house, kitchen night a laptop in front of Jake.
He's on the me phone website customer a phone to order.
Grandma is by the front door, checking her appearance in
the mirror as she waits for someone. Grandma's house looks
exactly as her card promised, so inviting, seemingly perfect, and
in total contrast to the spaces Jake spends with Ashley
or Carl.
Did my credit card work?
Okay?
Did you order what you wanted?
On the screen. The cursor hovers over purchase. It feels
like a significant move and he doesn't click it yet.
He lies, Yeah, it totally did. Thanks again.
See things don't always have to be so hot. Honestly,
some people just make it that way.
Grandma answers the doorbell, greets Kathy smug pious fifty five.
Well that was fast.
Not much traffic tonight, of course, thank you so so much,
especially on Christmas Eve. I am happy to help.
It is my duty to serve, especially at Christmas.
Grandma and Kathy approach Jake.
This is my friend, Kathy. We belong to the same congregation.
Okay, Hi, why don't we sit?
Jake is flanked on either side as they sit.
I've been worried about you. Actually, I've been telling Kathy
about your situation for a few months now. With everything
that happened tonight, i thought she should come over.
My job is to help families when they need it.
Remember all the times you told me about your mom
never being there, or how she's always snapping at you,
I mean, like really angry, almost like she's.
Unstable, Jake remembers.
You don't realize, but that's not okay, it's scary. Honestly,
what would you think about living here for a while?
Interior Ford Fiesta, Hatchback, moving night. Ashley drives aggressively even
as the storms pick up.
The only way to have a nice day with me
is with some grand production.
No, I'm just saying that was his plan. It wasn't
about the phone.
Text him again. I really thought I could host a
simple family Christmas. We should have done at my mom's.
Yes, she's better than you.
Yeah, well that's what I'm saying.
Because according to you, she's perfect right by definition, there's
no beating that, and you, we know, are definitely not perfect.
That's all shit. I hate watching her make you crumble.
I don't crumble.
Isn't this the same perfect woman who needed me to
pick up her irritable bowel slash constipation slash colon slash
something else, gross medication from Eckert. All I know for
a fact is that that woman is full of shit
except when she isn't, and then she just poops too much. See.
The point is there's no pleasing that lead. Next time
you feel inferior, just to remember her bowel minutes she
takes a cocktail of those things like she's magic Johnson.
All I know is crazy bullshit like this doesn't happen
with other moms, only me.
Man. Carl is struck by something, jolts up in the seat.
That's exactly what Jake said at AA, same words, even
trash about other moms and crazy bullshit only happening with you.
You took Jake to AA.
Carl stays with his big Eureka moment.
I think he's at your mom.
I told you she's the first one I called.
He bought into this negative shit about you, and he's
for sure all in on your flawless grandma theory. I
know that kid pretty well.
Ash Ashley considers interior Grandma's house living room night. Jake
sits with Kathy adolescent Jesus awkwardly looking down.
If you work for the city, that's the government, so
you can make my mom do whatever you say.
Flush Grandma exits the bathroom, drying her hands.
Sorry for the long wait. I had to adjust my
makeup then, would you believe it? I got an eyelash
in my eye twice. AnyWho, how's it going well?
Jake wants to know if I could force protective custody
were given the circumstances.
Yes, hopefully it won't come to that. We can now
just agree on a plan.
Doors fly open, his Carl and Ashley fall in from
the storm. Grandma jumps back, then moves in front of
Jake protectively.
What are you doing here?
Ashley sees Jake. She rushes over and forces a hug.
Why would you lie to me?
I didn't when you called. I didn't know where he was.
He didn't either, just that he was somewhere, stranded alone
at a bus station in single digit winch What are
you all right?
Jake shoes away her mothering Then.
When I heard everything else that was going on, going
on with what?
Who are you?
I'm just here to ensure health and safety and to
make sure everyone understands their options per county rule.
You've really called CPS on me?
What if we just agreed that Jake stays here a lot?
Hell no, he's not staying here.
You think I'm that bad of a mother.
The things I hear sound bleak?
Did you know about all this? Is this what you want?
I don't know.
Carl sees Jake torn apart and Ashley crushed by judgment.
You're picturing something way worse.
You're the reason why she's here. Did you figure that
out yet?
The state considers Carl a threat. That's why we can
have a conversation about removal. Really, the lack of supervision
to not know Jake was in such danger.
Ashley hands Carl her keys.
Just leave.
Carl wants to act, but he's neutered, leaves totally debased.
Exterior Grandma's House night. Carl stands in the cold, a
broken man. He watches through the front window. It's agony
seeing Jake and Ashley so distraught.
Fuck you, Carl.
He grips the keys tight and heads towards the car.
Interior Grandma's House, living room night. Ashley and Grandma wait
for Jake's answer to something.
What do you think.
About all of this?
Jake?
I know it's a lot.
Do you know what you want to do?
Jake makes his choice and moves to Grandma just as
a voice from behind.
No fucking way this happens not because of me.
Will you just leave us alone?
There's nothing you can do, humbug.
Carl grabs Drake a new character. Drake.
Yes.
Carl grabs Jake and drags him out like a hostage.
Hey, let me go.
Stop exterior Grandma's house.
Night.
Carl forces Jake toward the car.
Get in there.
Jake relents and gets in the passenger seat interior Ford
Fiesta hatchback moving night. Carl speeds away, panicked, checking his
mirrors and misjudging the road. The storm as ease, but
roads are slick.
What the hell are you doing?
If I got to kidnap you to talk, then fucking fine.
Carl jumps the curb on a turn. Jake holds on tight.
When was the last time you drove a car?
Scared good? You should be a little scared of your dad,
especially when you're being such a dumb punk.
You can't scare me into liking mom.
Do you know how much she looks you? Do you
have any goddamn ideas She loves you so much, she
puts up with you whatever.
I hate her and I of you enough to take
your ass out.
You did not just see you hate your mother? You
hear me.
Carl takes this focus off driving and they run off
the road over yards, plowing Christmas displays. They scream in.
Terror, whoa what's a card?
Why?
Oh my gosh? Shut trying to cort just stop.
The car.
Lost the milkbox.
My gosh, Carl turns the wheel and guns it. Crashing
decorations blind them as so intraction sends them speeding back
to the road. The windshield clears just in time to
see the stocky man, winter coat and hat.
Who thumped.
They run over. They slide to a stop. They're silent
a beat until.
Oh my god, Oh my god.
Carl gets out and sprints over to the man. Exterior
town streets night, Jake arrives to see Carl on his
knees over what remains of the snowman they just killed.
Carl holds a carrot and top hat.
I really thought I killed a guy.
Carl takes a moment, still kneeling.
I would have helped you bury the body. If that helps.
Look at me on my knees morning, This snowman is judgmental.
Kid staring at.
Me reveal a fatherless snow family stands in judgment.
Jesus, I even tear are a part figurative families. That
caseworker bitch is right, I am a thread.
No you're not. They just don't know the whole story.
This really strikes Carl. You think it didn't matter?
Yeah, of course they see the real you, I was
never in danger.
Carl jumps to his feet with a plan interior for
a Fiesta hatchback. Moving night, Carl speeds a man on
a mission.
My po is the one who decides if I'm a threat.
I just need him to change his mind about me?
What about what I want?
If I can get him out tonight, hopefully that won't
matter it.
Do you even know where he is?
Home with his family, wherever that is? And he blocks
his number?
What are you going to do?
I can't call him, but I might be able to
call everybody.
The Fiesta fishtails as Carl flies through an intersection. Interior
Carl's apartment living room.
Night.
Carl sits at his computer, hunting for a program, finds it.
Oh it's been too long, my baby. With this right here,
I could run any scam I wanted, any way I want.
Jake watches Carl navigate with skill and familiarity. Carl loads
files from various scams.
You weren't lying. These look super fucked up.
I only rip off the deserving this time. They'll all
be from our little town.
Carl opens a map feature. He narrows the range and
zooms in on just their town.
You said, if you don't spread him out, you get caught.
Exactly, I need to get his attention.
Jake realizes what Carl is willing to do for him.
This is crazy. There's no way this ends okay for me.
Also need him to call me, a chance to bust
me on all this. I imagine he'd want a word.
Carl pulls up a master list of scams. The cursor
hovers over the send button for the top one. He
clicks you mean all of them. Carl moves down the list,
clicking send on scam after scam. Jake reads the final.
One, Ivory Deally.
Carl hits play behind the scam message the sound of
a piano.
Ever, fantasize about being an ivory dealer.
Karl is lost, remembering the message as he hears it.
So many of us do. Everyone loves cool, white ivory,
but no one wants the hassle of.
Acquiring a series of scenes calls spread across town on
Christmas Eve. In each someone on a phone reacts to
hearing the scam. In an upper class home, multi generational
family enjoys a Christmas Pheasant feast.
Thanks to an exclusive relationship with friends in the Congolese
government and the Holo Holo people of the South Kivu Province.
An elderly couple lovingly sit next to each other and
watch a black and white Christmas movie in the dark.
You have an invitation only high yield investment opportunity in
the lucrative ivory market.
A lift driver watches in his rear view as the
two dissimilar passengers on their cells react in opposite ways
to the scam.
Just listen, nothing like bona fide ivory piano keys and
did you know you can use ivory for pool balls,
knick knacks or as a substitute for white plastic.
Mister Bucket listens to the message in bed.
Act now and get a free boat.
Baby, We finally got a boat. Missus Bucket ignores him
from the other side of the room, continues salacious webcam
flirting with strange man.
A thing like that.
A free boat. Interior Ford Fiesta hatch the fjord, Interior
Ford Fiesta hutchback, Notre Dame slipped in there somewhere, Interior
Ford Fiesta hatchback moving night. Jake looks out the window
while Carl drives. The storm left a blanket of fresh snow.
It's a beautiful Christmas night. Horrible screeching tones repeat from
Carl sull on the.
Dash Ford Fiesta. Hatchbag. Hey, wait a minute, that's me.
I'm an amber alert.
Yeah you've been napped kid, Yay.
I get to deal with the cops, just.
Like last time.
Last time. Yeah, we gotta talk about the park. It's okay, No,
it really isn't.
Jake responds by reading from the notebook.
Step ten, Promise to stay disciplined and call out all
bullshit matter not size, stench, texture, norviscosity. I figure that
only works if you can forgive somebody you.
Got it, and then the idea is to keep it going.
That's the only step about the future. Next one, too,
Promise to rely.
On your higher O during your countless and stupendous future
fuck ups.
Jake falls silent.
It's just a promise to use me whenever you need anything.
Jake looks out the window, still not committing.
It's okay if you don't want to.
I do. I do want to.
But this one's sort of a two way street. Huh. Yeah,
you got to have an elf who's there holding up
his side of things. All I can do is promise
and hope you ignore any common sense telling you not
to trust that.
Jake considers, then crosses off steps ten and eleven. Out
the window, he sees a shocked family in church clothes,
checking their amber alerts and staring. Jake waves shit, get down.
Carl shoves Jake's head down out of view. He speeds away.
Series of scenes calls spread across town on Christmas Eve.
In each someone on a phone reacts to hearing the scam.
A young man sits alone with his dog on zoom
with family.
Windowless sweatshops like noise canceling headphones. For the rest of you,
keep out the world and keep your mind on your
work in.
A nice kitchen full of pie, cookies and whatever. A
mule log is. A perfect family has a huge.
Fight over a board game be against window producers and
select East Asian markets while investing big local concrete contractors.
Team manager Mark watches his hot peace mother talk on
the phone. She's absolutely glowing. He's suspicious and totally grossed out.
Act now and get a free boat. Why are you glowing?
Growth it? Oh?
I think we just want a boats.
Interior forward, fiesta, hatchback, moving night. Carl jumps when his
cell phone lights up?
Is it him?
Jake checks and shakes his head. Reads climate change?
What climate change?
Seasonal work as a climate change denier is a great
way to earn loads of easy cash.
Now, Oh, and I get a free book.
Series of scenes calls spreading across the town on Christmas Eve.
In each someone on a phone reacts to hearing the scam.
Angel and multiple generations of his family cook, eat, and drink.
His niece Maria is lost in the fun with other kids. Hello.
Always dreamed of selling nuclear secrets but never found the time.
Now you can do it right from harm.
Neighbors Mary and Chris get back from church. The girls
kick off their shoes that match this year's mistresses.
For an adversary. Let us deal with the legal ease.
Just answer this. Can I sell you a secret?
Barfly? Mike watches TV on his couch with beer cans
all around him, brunker than when he challenged Carl at
the bar.
Act now and get a free boat.
His son is there, Chad, who we normally see bullying Jake.
You one another beer.
There's a bunch still in the drawer.
Shout upbod, It's something about a boat.
Chad was hoping to connect, but his dad is too
drunk again. Interior Jordan's house, living room day, Jordan sits
miserable while his too cheery family is being exceedingly christmasy.
A few sing carols around the piano.
Come join us, Uncle Jordy.
Before he can say no, ding, everyone begins to get texts.
Hey, should I invest in black market antiquities?
He's got a text.
Jordan's eyes narrow. He recognizes the sound of this.
Huh, I got one for war profiteering.
What's your say? Invest in human trafficking?
Where life is a highway.
Jordan's on high alert. His cell rings and he quickly answers.
Do you like puppies? And who doesn't love a good mill?
Make your dream a reality and become a player in
today's puppy mill industry.
Jordans jumps up and straps on his po badge, commanding
the attention of the room. He's ready to kick ass.
His adorable five year old nephew is in awe interior
Ford Fiesta hatchback moving night. The cell rings and Carl
C's blocked number.
I think I know this block number, Hallie, Jolly Christmas,
this is Carl, whom I say is calling.
Intercut with interior Jordan's old Volvo moving night Jordan's car,
lush car seat and steering wheel cover on visor, convex
blind spot, marrors, tinted windshield, console, armrests with storage cup
holder and phone mounted.
Do you know what kind of shit you're in?
I was right?
Goddamn it. I knew there was more than one scam.
Who's to say I reasonably doubt everything I'm hearing right now?
Ooh, this is mandatory minimums. You're doing a virtual tour
of the penal code.
Yeah, but getting evidence to prove it sounds like a
lot of annoying extra work, which I know you don't love.
Fucker, are you enjoying this or instead of that? How
about meet me and let me talk. Maybe I'll confess
a thing or two.
Carl and Jake anxiously wait as Jordan pauses.
A few beats people buying gifts, ask will you get
a man who has everything? I've had the opposite problem.
How do I punish a man who values nothing? See
you get a pass? None of this madness affects you,
does it? You don't care about anyone?
You're wrong it's different now.
Carl covers the phone and shushes Jake.
But it's too late.
What the hell is your kid doing there?
You can't do that, Yeah, because somebody deems me unfit,
mister mcdeamer, and listen, I absolutely get it. But you
ever consider that maybe I'm not so.
Unfit before I met you? Yes, but then, of course
we met. It's a well earned label. Car, Give me
a chance to convince you.
Text us.
I'll send you an address.
You dumb fucker.
Carl hangs up and looks at Jake.
Maybe he'll cool off.
Exterior Grandma's house night, Jordan joins Ashley, Grandma and Kathy,
watching the fiesta slowly slide into a pathetic thud against
the curb. Carl gets out and sprints up the small
hill to them. Ashley watches Jake make his way up slowly.
She gives him his space.
First Mary, Christmas, everybody, and thanks for letting me talk.
Oh, I'm not here for you, I'm here for your
stupefying parole violations.
Tell me what's happening, Jordan presides.
Apparently Carl has some things to confess to you and
potentially to the Federal Trade Commission.
Jordan pulls out a pair of handcuffs to dramatic effect.
Okay, yes, I may have transgressed, but where I ran
a foul, it was only so I could get you
here tonight.
This isn't real.
It was the only way I could explain before it's
too late.
This is exactly why you can't see your son.
I'm no threat. Let me put it this way. I
don't want Jake to turn out like me either. I
don't blame you for being worried, but I'm not a threat.
Why would you bring him into your world of shit?
It's the only way he'd bring me into his.
Jordan doesn't care. He advances with cuffs as Carl backs up.
He was helping me. It's the only way we could
do the steps.
This stops, Jordan.
You're always saying I need to go to AA. Well
we've been working on the steps together. Good right?
How could you expose him to those sort of people?
When did Jade start drinking?
No, it's not for that.
I just wanted to be better.
I guess Jake can't help. But look at Ashley.
We're almost done, just one step left.
Jordan handcuffs Carl. He's reluctant to be drawn in.
But people sometimes think they're almost done, then they try
that last step to find out that they're nowhere.
Why what to say?
Ultimately it's about serving others. But first, first you need
to reflect on the great spiritual awakening you've presumably just had.
Grandma scoffs.
Then the kicker. You need to figure out what you
learn from it all.
Jordan begins to lead Carl away.
If you don't know that, then maybe it was worthless.
It wasn't worthless.
Please, what could Jake possibly have learned from you?
Everyone turns to Jake. It's completely overwhelming.
I mean, I know that got to stay tight with
your higher elf, no matter how much he hurts you.
I saw how Dad's a dickhead, but he knows it.
So it's not okay, but.
Sort of is. I don't know what to say. Okay,
I guess I'm not sure what I learned.
Carl deflates, and Jordan leads him towards the car.
I knew he was in trouble when I heard spiritual awakening.
Spiritual trust me.
No, Mom, shut the hell up just because you call
it a sacrament.
Now you're still drunk by noon.
And good job kicking the benzos, but maybe your Jesus
addiction is worse.
Cut the judgmental crap.
Jake moves in a daze to the front steps with
a notebook.
How could you possibly know what he experienced? I've seen
a change, and that's good enough for me.
Ashley approaches Jake, who just stares at the notebook.
What's that?
Jake opens it so she can study the list.
To erode his version of each dough. I kept track
of how far.
We got Jesus.
Look at this.
As far as I'm concerned. You should cross that last
step off.
Jake doesn't respond. Grandma comes to look too.
Things are getting a little better, right with us.
Jake nods with small satisfaction. He crosses off the step.
What about step one? It's not crossed out?
Jake's shot. She's right, He reads.
Step one inmit, you're a fucked up person and life
can never be predictable.
You definitely have a problem, bitch.
That's garbage. You're fine just the way you are.
Something clicks. Jake has a revelation.
I'm not fine though, Hey get back here, bitch Jordan's
Jordan doesn't hear.
He puts Carl in the back seat. Wait stop, Jake
begins firing rocks interior Jordan's old Volvo moving night. Jordan
looks out the back window as he reverses.
You gotta listen. He's way better now. You should have
seen him before he was so angry. Bam bam.
Rocks strike the car, chipping the windshield.
Bam, bam.
Even his stick on blind spot mirror is smashed as
Jordan watches a dangle and then f he becomes enraged.
Exterior Grandma's House Night. Jordan gets out just as bam
A final rock Dense's hood.
Hey, what the hell, kid?
I needed to get your attention.
You guys have very extreme ways of doing this.
I did learn something. I learned that my dad is
very fucked up.
Sir, we agree.
Step one should have been easy, admitting everything's messed up.
I already thought of that, but honestly, I blamed people.
My dad taught me it can't be anyone's fault because
everything in life is just fucked up to begin with.
We're powerless.
What's your point?
Don't ask my dad to be a normal, functioning parent.
I don't need that. I need him because he's fucked up.
Without him, I'll relapse and he needs me.
Ashley is affected by this.
I'm screwed up, dude, So who are you? And so
was my mom and my grandma?
Ashley and Grandma share this weird moment of belonging.
It goes for Christmas too.
You know, if everything is fucked up, you don't have
to feel bad about hating it.
Jordan reflects. Interior Jordan's old Volvo night. Carl tries every angle,
contorting his body and pressing against the seat, but he
can't open the door where I was toughed shit exterior
Grandma's house night, Jordan sits on the front steps, looking
at a wallet photo of his wife. The women gathered
around comfortingly.
Uh, that's why I wanted to visit her grave, but
I was worried it wouldn't seem very Christmas.
Yeah, man, fuck Christmas. If that's how you feel, maybe
that's even the true meaning of Christmas.
I want to believe it. God, I'd be liberated.
Carl arrives. His hair and clothes are a mess from
his escape efforts. Ashley stuck a moment.
He looks absurd and with it all so screwed up.
Who's anyone to judge Carl.
Ashley's support hits Carl. It registered with Jordan too. He
lingers on it as they give him time to think.
He stands.
Maybe I'm getting swept up in the magic of hating Christmas,
or I'm overwhelmed by the opposite of holiday cheer.
Jake and Carl look at each other anxiously optimistic.
There's one thing fucked up. People need maybe see each other.
You finally have value. I hereby declare you're not unfit,
You're not a threat. You're a father messed up as
the rest of it. So you weren't in danger and
you weren't negligent.
Jake hugs Ashley. Grandma sees the love and is moved.
She puts her hand on Ashley's shoulder.
Yeah, Merry Christmas. I guess, Oh Mary, Christmas, your big
lump of cole come here, poll hug.
Me hand cuff. Carl can only heave himself onto Jordan,
who quickly shoves him off each time. Kyle smiles when
he sees Jake and Ashley together. It all has the
feel of a Christmas miracle. So he's off the hook.
No, God, no, he crazy arrested federal prison whole. Shebang
really bad stuff on that front. But you'll be able
to talk this time legally. For now you can come
get him, but bail is going to be.
Imposing, really something tremendous.
Carl doesn't care. He's rightly proud of himself.
Merry Christmas.
Dad. Jake watches as Carl is led away. He crosses
off step one and takes a moment to appreciate the
completed list.
He did it.
Interior Jordan's house, Living Christmas morning, Jordan tries to endure
as all around him in matching pajamas. No less family
celebrates Christmas morning reveal. Jordan wears the same pjs. They
have a moose on them. He hates this moose. He
doesn't want to be here. Jordan decides on something, then
sneaks away. He puts his overcoat over his pjs, but
stopping him at the front door is his wide eyed
five year old nephew.
Where are you going, uncle, Jordy.
Jordan prepares to speak with the satisfaction of a man
who has settled something important in his mind.
I'm going to a graveyard.
He's afraid of how this will go over.
I got a Chuck, that's great. I hope you love it.
You're gonna go play with it?
Yep.
Jordan smiles and leaves.
Did Uncle Jordy just leave?
Yep?
Did he say where he was going?
Great?
Gay?
They don't know what to make of it. Interior, local jail,
Christmas morning. There are a few joyless prisoners around, but
Carl sits alone with his thoughts beneath a few sad
holiday decorations.
Oh me, Sanna, you.
Got a letter.
Guard Frisbee's Carl an envelope. He opens it and pulls
out the same Christmas card Grandma had sent Jake. A
check falls out. Carl reads the card.
Here's money for bail. Don't fuck it up. Have a
merry Christmas exo.
Grandma interior, redepartment, living room, Christmas morning. Carl sits in
a chair, egg nog in hand, Ashley and Jake on
the couch.
I got you a little something.
He hands Jake a folded piece of paper. Inside, Jake
finds a reloadable debit card with the name and number
taped to the back.
Nicholas Jergen von klaus.
Uh, our friend in Liechtenstein is expecting your call. What
is it? Recent? Ill gotten gains no from godless scoundrels,
and enough money for a fancy new phone. I reckon.
Jake hans it to Ashley.
I don't want it, it'll help us out.
Ashley begins to object, but in a very obvious move,
Jake turns and starts talking before she has had the chance.
Oh yeah, so then, oh, we got you something to.
Carl is surprised as Jake Hansen a rapt gift. Carl
is opening it when he is attacked by sheer horror.
Assaulted by the side of Jake's ceramic Santa statue. Carl
inspects the monstrosity. It's even more upsetting than we appreciated before.
What holy fuck is this thing?
Actually, Jake worked really hard on that.
Oh I'm sorry.
Man, what's your problem. I'm just kidding. It's truly disturbing.
I know, okay, good? Yeah, yeah. It looks like you
ever see those pictures of birth defects from radiation, So
it's sort of like like misshapen Plato people. Man, you
gotta google.
No, no, actually, we don't have to search that. Call
it step thirteen.
You can't just make up stebs.
Carl is putting the statue on the table when it
breaks into a million pieces.
I mean that's sort of fitting.
No, everything falling apart in your hands.
Step fourteen, Shut up.
Ash trust me, it happens.
You can be bulliant, yes, but should we?
Jake and Ashley laugh, but Carl's expression lingers as he
looks at the broken pieces. The moment turns serious as
his comment gathers more weight. Jake and Ashley react until.
Kidding, we'll do it together. Where's the glue?
Jake bolts up to go get it. Ashley smiles. Merry Christmas.
The end.
Quickly, everybody at the same time give us a Merry Christmas.
Let's maybe do that at the end on three one
two three.
Merry Christmas.
Jesus, Angus.
Paine Jobs aanger.
From heavenly bos Angel came and njo certain sad tidings
of the same love that desert and was for the
son of God my name.
Ob times have come for vent.
Joy of venti omotime Angel Angs.
Paine Jobs aanger.
Shas up this time joyes ching mine and that the
locks of being.
Stop them Bye and bost stay at
Joy and joy time