The Truth Isn't Always Pretty w/B. Simone

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Coming up on Keep It Pasave, sweetie? What got you to the point where you were like, you know what would be I'm about to just put it all out there.

00:00:08
Speaker 2: I've always been like that, but I think subconsciously it was also a protection because nobody can say anything about me that I haven't already said about myself. You know she was on Olympic, you know she had an abortion, you already said it, like, yeah, this is me, you know I not having the facade and not being real. That is like the biggest fear of mine, Like somebody finding out I'm fake or phony or a lie like that is like a fear like, no, this is me, I am real. This is what comes with it.

00:01:04
Speaker 1: Hello, I'm Christal Renette Hazel and this is keep It Positive, sweetie, A safe face to heal, a laugh, grow, and love. And Season six is underweighted off to a great start. We've got this amazing new set and we've had some incredible conversations so far. I'm gonna keep the momentum going with my guests for today. My sister, my friend be Simone. Now, it only took six seasons to get her here, but we're gonna have some good girl talk about any and everything like we always do. She does so many things well and she means so much to so many people, including me. She's an actress, comedian, entrepreneur, and a great friend. I finally got her here, y'all. I am so excited. My friend, my sister, be Simone fee Thank you, sus, thank you for pulling up.

00:01:53
Speaker 3: But we finally got her here, guys, finally and.

00:01:57
Speaker 1: Been on the road with me. We've been everywhere with me and made yourself comfortable.

00:02:01
Speaker 2: I had to know, y'all keep it classy and keep it positive, sweetie, but I had to bring the beast some energy, and I took the cover, took my shoes off, and I'm here.

00:02:09
Speaker 1: So we wouldn't have it any other way.

00:02:10
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you for having me. What you got going on? Do you see this production? The quality, the quality, it is so beautiful. I'm so proud of you.

00:02:23
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you. It is the labor of love. I'm so excited about rebranding everything. Yeah, we're going up. Yeah, an upgrade. I'm super excited.

00:02:32
Speaker 2: I love it.

00:02:33
Speaker 1: Happy to have you here.

00:02:34
Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm excited y'all been trying to get me on here I'm here, been LTT eight three times.

00:02:40
Speaker 1: Two times.

00:02:41
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, now invite me. She invited me, and I'm here.

00:02:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you, thank you, thank you, but no, seriously, it is an honor to have you here today. I'm excited. We always have amazing conversations. Yeah, people have heard our story. Her to talk about everything. So the first thing I want to ask you today is give me one word that describes the season that you're in right now in your life. One if you could describe it one word. I know it's so hard. I was.

00:03:16
Speaker 2: The first word. It's two words. Resilience. Obviously, That's what I'm about in the season. Like the LTTA. I'm like, try this again, never give up, press forward, resilience. But I was gonna say progress. Yes, i feel like I've made progress, like with with my career, with starting over, with my relationship with God, with boundaries. I just feel like I'm in such a new space and I'm such a different person than i was six months ago, a year ago, a few years ago, a couple months ago. So I feel like I'm making progress. I'm even back in the gym like girl, because I tell the truth now, I was on that that was on a Xemp.

00:03:56
Speaker 3: I was on y'all know me. I'm on at zemp.

00:03:59
Speaker 2: Please, I gotta use take this shot on These diabetics need this medicine.

00:04:03
Speaker 3: I got it.

00:04:06
Speaker 1: This is why I love you.

00:04:08
Speaker 2: I was on thoseipigs for like a year and I lost forty five pounds, girl, but it messed up my gut health. So I talk about that like the back end of it. It's like it's not healthy long term, you know. So I don't recommend it. But I was on it, and I wasn't like training training super heavily on it because I was always nauseous yea and sick and I didn't really need to because I was I was looking good, right. But now I'm back in the gym. I'm back in the gym, so I'm doing it trying to be healthy, doing it the healthy way and not like you know, supplements and all the things, just taking my protein, weight training and doing cardio. I'm back running, so I feel like I've made progress. The word is progress.

00:04:47
Speaker 1: I love that. I love it. You know another thing I love that youcause you're so transparent. A lot of people wouldn't tell people thank you. I love you and You're so transparent about so many different parts of your life, which is why I think you're so relatable. Yeah, why people just gravitate to you because they see themselves, even if it's like a certain part. You let everybody see all of you, in all the different colors of you, so it's like, oh, I can identify with that, I can identify with that. I just love that about you. I'm not as transparent.

00:05:12
Speaker 2: Why do you think that is?

00:05:15
Speaker 1: I think I was always taught to that. There was something about being a mystery.

00:05:21
Speaker 2: Oh I like that too.

00:05:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's something about being a mystery and don't let everybody know everything you have going on. You have to tell people everything. But in this world now where we're on social media and we're on platforms like our shows that we have, you have to be more open and transparent. And I still find myself being selective but trying to be more open. What got you to the point where you were like, you know what would be I'm about to just put it all out there.

00:05:48
Speaker 2: I've always been like that, but I think subconsciously it was also a protection because nobody can say anything about me that I haven't already said about myself. You know she was on those you know she had an abortion. You already said. It's like, yeah, this is me, you know I not having the facade and not being real. That is like the biggest fear of mine, Like somebody finding out I'm fake or pony or a lie like that is like a fear, like, no, this is me, I am real. This is what comes with it. If you know me, if you don't know me, whoever is in my life is going to get all of me. So the truth, whatever that is, the truth isn't always pretty, you know what I mean. So I'm willing to tell the truth, even when it's ugly, even when I've been through the dark times, even when I made horrible mistakes, even when you know I might have been blacked out drunk in my past or like I I've talked about this publicly, my abortion. I've had an abortion. The truth ain't always pretty, But I rather just be honest. I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying all the choices I made were right, but it was the truth. It happened. I can't erase my history. It happened. You know, whether I tell the truth or not, it still happens. So I think vulnerability and transparency is a superpower, and I'm kind of trying to get a little bit more like you in certain areas to where you can still be raw and real and all the way out there. But it doesn't have to be a secret. It's just some things can be private there.

00:07:17
Speaker 3: It's not that it's a secret.

00:07:19
Speaker 2: I'm not hiding anything from you, guys, but some things are sacred in private. Like I've thought about that recently with my love life, Like if I did get a boyfriend, if I did get serious, and it was like thinking, oh, this could be my husband, would I share him with the world, Like that's sacred? Would I? I don't know.

00:07:36
Speaker 1: You know, I go through this as well, and I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna hide you like we're gonna go out. But I feel like putting somebody out on social media if you see as you see.

00:07:44
Speaker 2: It, yeah, yeah, putting it out there. Yeah.

00:07:46
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would do that either. And for the most part, the guys updated are okay with that.

00:07:51
Speaker 2: Cool, so cool.

00:07:52
Speaker 1: I haven't ran into an issue, But that is a thing you want to protect things ye sacred.

00:07:57
Speaker 2: No, I feel that because when you open up that door of the audience. They feel like they have access now. So it's like, well, you put them on the internet, but that don't mean you can have an opinion on every little thing to them.

00:08:10
Speaker 1: Should put it out there. If you didn't want to say nothing.

00:08:12
Speaker 2: You shouldn't have shared it. So when you put stuff out there, it's giving an open invitation, like y'all, millions, all millions of y'all that follow us, come on in to my relationship, come on into you know, my world. So I don't know if I got in a relationship, if I would share him with the world.

00:08:29
Speaker 1: I would protect it. Yeah, for as long as you can. Yeah, okay, because like I've talked about my dude on your podcast, but nobody knows.

00:08:36
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and I like it like that, Hold on, my dude, hold on, can we just get a exclusive?

00:08:56
Speaker 3: That was a question? Don't maybe take the que card my dude?

00:09:07
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, it's looking good, Jesus, Yes he is working, honey.

00:09:14
Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my god, my heart pounded.

00:09:16
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm finding in a space where you know, you like, you search and you hope and pray for like the person that like understands even if they don't understand this, like they understand you, and their care and love for you is like I see who you are from the jump. It's special. So you know what I'm saying, I'm just letting God take this thing.

00:09:36
Speaker 2: The one day, enjoying it. Beat in the moment where your beat are. Don't like overthink like that's what.

00:09:43
Speaker 1: I used to do. Be Yeah, I doing that.

00:09:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, enjoy what you have with this person, and oh my gosh, I love that.

00:09:53
Speaker 1: What about you? Are you ready for love?

00:09:55
Speaker 2: Am I ready for love?

00:09:58
Speaker 1: You know what?

00:09:58
Speaker 2: Before I go to that, can I ask you a question about him? Don't Why are you trying to jump off him?

00:10:02
Speaker 1: Nobody? Take him back? Control? And Serie says, drive the car.

00:10:10
Speaker 2: So I think I have one little question. What kind of work was he putting me in?

00:10:14
Speaker 1: Because you know what, it's a long distance relationship. Okay, okay, so him coming here, you know, being very intentional about getting to know me listening. You know, I remember I was sitting outside one day reading my Bible. We were doing the Proverbs challenge okay, changed church wise up was what the challenge was called. And he was watching me outside reading my Bible, and he goes, let me go get some of this wisdom. This is what he says to himself, not knowing that I was reading Proverbs and he comes up saying, he's like, hey, what are you doing. I was like, I'm just reading Proverbs, trying to catch up cause we're doing this for the whole month. Wow, do you mind if I read with you?

00:10:53
Speaker 2: Oh my God, Oh my god.

00:10:56
Speaker 1: Baby, I said, huh. He's like, so we read like a chapter of piece and like after each chapter we broke down how we interpreted it, and these are the things you pray for it, right, a woman who was after God's heart and like really seeking him. You want to partner that's doing the same. Like, Yeah, and he was in a different space. We'll probably talk about this once we get to that point, talk about it publicly. But he was in a space where he was raised in the church race as Christian read the Bible, knows the Bible, knows the word, but got away from him. Yeah, it's just like yeah, like it's too many contradictions. But being around me, he's starting to like watch watch his change global. So he watches church online. Yeah, he watches online and every Sunday he'll call me after church. It'll be four o'clock his time, and then I'll watch it. I'll go to church here and he'll call me and we'll go for each other's nose.

00:11:51
Speaker 3: And he's like, you know, I really loved it when yeh accent.

00:12:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that was a part of it that really just wanting to be in my world and like be a part of what I'm doing and loving. He loves like that we can do things together. This is something else we can do together.

00:12:13
Speaker 3: And normally let's do that.

00:12:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like really into this. I was like, Okay, this is dope. And then even the time that we spend together, like when he would come here and visit me, it was just beautiful, like no stress. It just felt I was like home easy, yeah, very easy. Yeah. And there there are times where I'd pray about something I journaled about him and oh my god this and then like literally there'd be some people like, hey, baby, I was thinking about this, and it would be like what I prayed about to God like, because I didn't want to come off like needy or like I need you to do this, He's like, I need to work on that.

00:12:46
Speaker 3: I was like this, this is did you read?

00:12:52
Speaker 1: But he was overseas. I was like, I literally just prayed about this, and he was like, are you serious? I was like yeah, And the fact that he can be old, and like that's something else. I pray for a man that can communicate and like even point out his flaws. Yeah, like, hey, I need to work on this because I want to be better for.

00:13:08
Speaker 2: You accountability, emotional intelligence, very And you ask me, am I ready for love? Are you ready for love?

00:13:15
Speaker 1: Me?

00:13:15
Speaker 2: I think you pray for all these things like you said, but when it comes, I pray that I can handle it and I don't run back to the toxicity that I'm.

00:13:25
Speaker 1: Used to, Like, oh, you gotta watch Sunday's sermon, honey, what what was it called? I won't go back. I'm I won't go back because we go back to what we're comfortable.

00:13:35
Speaker 2: What you're comfortable is I'm comfortable not being seen, so I'm comfortable having guys chase me. Or I'm comfortable not being a priority, so I know how to wait around and hope they text me. So when the good thing comes, it's like is he love bombing me? Or you constantly or negative? Like is this just his No? Maybe he's a good person and this is how a healthy relationship should be. So just hoping that I can handle it when it comes, cause I do believe it's gonna come.

00:14:01
Speaker 1: It will come, And I'll tell you this, You got to be very intentional and specific in what you want detail because I literally write I was like, God, I want this, this, this is, and this, and God gave me exactly what I don't want it and I'm like, the Lord, he ain't got this, this is He's like, what's important? Weed, what do you want? Cause I'm giving you what you asked for, you know. And when I started to being intentional about what I really wanted, and I was about to like I was thinking about going back to something else that no longer served me. Yes, And then the next day I ran into him, Yeah, and I was like.

00:14:39
Speaker 2: This over there.

00:14:41
Speaker 1: Right, like, but you have to be very specific. And also there was a time where I knew that God wasn't bringing the right person to me because I couldn't handle it. You aren't ready, And I love that you even like I pray that I'm that I can because I knew I wasn't, you know, but now I know, like this is the one thing that you need. But God knows how that man needs to be built for me.

00:15:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like in this season when I said the word is progress, keep making progress. I have a relationship coach. She's out in LA I haven't worked with her in a while, but she's like, okay, you write down all these things. What type of And we talked about this, what type of woman does this man need? Like you want him to be disciplined, you want him to be in shape. You still eating doughnuts?

00:15:26
Speaker 3: Am Like you want all these things.

00:15:31
Speaker 2: You want him to be financially stable? Are you taking care of your finances? Like, yeah, you have money, but is it gonna be? Is it gonna last you for the next two decades, for the next three decades? You got it? Now be? But are you being a good steward over your money? Like me breaking all the bad habits? So I can't attract that person. I still have a lot of work to do.

00:15:51
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what. That's a good when you know that you still have a lot of work to do. Just know that, like, whenever you find that person, they're probably gonna have works do as well. Are you work with them with That's the difference because a lot of people get into relationships and they're not perfect. I'm not completely ready, but they feel like this is my person, you know. And then you see relationships that really work and they neither one of them like they was ready, but they end up making it work together.

00:16:15
Speaker 2: Because it's like you don't have to work on something. But what is yeah, I'm not I'm not okay? What's sonony? I'm sorry? I ask you some questions.

00:16:23
Speaker 3: Give me get right?

00:16:28
Speaker 1: Oh my sweetie, sweeties doing me, that's what I'm.

00:16:36
Speaker 2: What is a hard non negotiable for you?

00:16:39
Speaker 1: Like?

00:16:39
Speaker 2: Non negotiable we know means we can't negotiate if this happens. I literally look you in your eye. If this happens, I will walk away, no matter how much I love you, no matter how much we've invested, no matter no matter what. This is a non negotiable. What would you say is a hard no negotiable? Maybe we haven't been married yet, right, so we don't know what we wouldn't go with after marriage and kids and family, But in the dating phase, what is a hard non negotiable for you? Like, if this happens, no matter what, we have nothing to talk about.

00:17:10
Speaker 1: You know what?

00:17:10
Speaker 2: For me?

00:17:11
Speaker 1: Right now, one of my first boundaries and non negotiables is faith, okay, because I'm going to be the submissive woman that can be led. But you can't leave me if you have no relationship with the King and if.

00:17:23
Speaker 2: You're not submitting to him.

00:17:24
Speaker 1: You wow, wow.

00:17:27
Speaker 2: Like where we going?

00:17:28
Speaker 1: Oh?

00:17:28
Speaker 3: No, come on when then you come back and get me when you know issue?

00:17:32
Speaker 2: Where are we going here? Stop playing with me and get me when you know where we're going?

00:17:42
Speaker 1: No, seriously, And that's been an issue where guys like they didn't understand why I didn't want to be in a relationship and I'm like, I can do this by myself.

00:17:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:17:50
Speaker 1: If I don't feel like you can leave me, then it's like it's fine, Look, I got it. You know. So I'd rather be about be alone and continue to work my self with God versus be with somebody who can't leave me because it's frustrating. Okay. That is like one of my main deal breakers, especially in this point of my life where I need that. Okay, Yeah, what about you? Do you have deal breakers or boundaries.

00:18:15
Speaker 2: My I think faith for sure. I'm not willing to compromise on religious beliefs.

00:18:22
Speaker 1: Yeah for me, I used to Yeah, I can't do it now.

00:18:25
Speaker 2: I remember you talking about that, and I have different religious backgrounds in my family. We all be in the group chat. It's hilarious in the group chat. It's like, all right, y'all, God bless yes, all praises dude, a lie. I'm like, Jesus Christ is king, know what the other cousin well, the universe. I'm like, we're all on different pages in chat or whatever. But I'm not willing to compromise on that with a romantic partner because long term, you want to get married, do you want to have children, and you want to ultimately trust, like you said, trust if I truly believe that Jesus is the Way, the truth, and the life, and you don't believe that. If I truly believe in I just believe you're deceived. So I can't be with somebody who I feel is deceived exactly, you know, and just following a road of deception. That and for me in the dating phase, I dealt with this with my ex God Rest his soul, Chris. I love you so much. He passed away. Non negotiable, was cheating and I talked about it publicly. I'm like, if you I don't know what I would do if I was married ten years with three kids, and I don't know. I don't know if that's something we could talk about. But in boyfriend and girlfriend early on, no, that's a hard no negotiable for me. If it happens, we have nothing to discuss, I will walk away.

00:19:51
Speaker 1: That's interesting to me because I had a friend who used to say, you're singlings, you're married, Yeah, why do we put marriage stipulations on people were not married to?

00:20:01
Speaker 2: And I was like, so, what's like marriage stipulations?

00:20:04
Speaker 1: Like not cheat, like cheating, like vowels? You know what I'm saying, You're like putting the not sleeping with other people. That's like a marriage stipulation that you're putting on someone who hasn't made that vow to you. It kind of changed my perspective on dating, which I don't this is not okay, that is not that. But she changed my perspective where I stopped holding people to that standard before they asking to me their wife.

00:20:30
Speaker 2: So you know what it is for me, I think whatever we agree to. So if you clearly tell me, oh yeah we're dating, we're in this together. I'm not seeing other people. I'm trusting your word. It's more of a word thing like if I can't trust you, now, why am I going to be able to all of a sudden turn the trust switch on when we walk down the aisle. So I think whatever we agree to is what I expect. If you're like, we're dating other people or whatever, yeah, So for me, if we agree it's just us, then it's gonna have to be the You gotta be that.

00:21:02
Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay. Something that you touched on earlier was finances. Yeah. And some question that I get asked often is would you date someone who doesn't make as much money as you as a high earner? Would you date someone who doesn't make as much money as you?

00:21:21
Speaker 2: I think I would if I could still, I wouldn't want to one hundred change my lifestyle. Was like, oh okay, I can't get facials anymore, or I can't get massaged. I can't do all these things because we can't afford it. Right, So as long as we can have the same lifestyle, I would love to still travel and live and invest in businesses. And when you invest, you know you're gonna lose sometimes. Do we have the money to take those risks? I done invested in properties and in certain text things that just like that didn't really work out. But I invest over here, you know, so he could make less than me, for sure, But I would love to keep up the same lifestyle. If that makes sense.

00:21:59
Speaker 1: No, it's perfect sense. It's funny because I've said the same thing because people always ask like, would you date some I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I definitely would. But I do. I love the things that I love and I've never been ashamed of that. Yeah. I always very transparent about that, Like, this is what I like to do and as long as I can do it. Lord, I want to.

00:22:20
Speaker 2: Christmaal place on a vineyard, drinking wine, eating cheese. I'm like, Christ, what are you at in Paris with the president? And I'm back, I'm in Atlanta. When you get bring me some cheese. Yeah.

00:22:36
Speaker 1: I just feel like, once you a lot that comes with exposure. Yes, you know, sometimes for me, exposure inspires.

00:22:42
Speaker 2: When you're exposed, it's like I can't go back.

00:22:44
Speaker 1: I can't.

00:22:45
Speaker 2: Steve Harvey said that once you sit in first class, I don't want to go back to the rope twenty in the middle seat. I want that space. I want to relax. Work up there, you can more, it's more productive, it is, and you get to sit in your feminine and relax and enjoy the moment and enjoy all the things that life has for you without worrying about can I afford this? Can I do this? So the stresses that come with that.

00:23:10
Speaker 1: So you know what, And I've been broke before, so I know the stress. Oh yeah, yeah, yes, I've been broken. It's a different type of stress. I used to always say I'd rather be rich in stress than be broken stress. Yes, So I'm grateful. And even a friend says, he's like, it's a privilege to be able to do what you want to do, be able to take care of everything and then also be like, oh I want to go do this or do that, or I want to invest in this, and you can take the risk. That is a privilege and a blessing. He did do that, and I don't take it for granted at Yeah. When it comes to finances, how are you doing? Like with budget? Can we talked about this? Yeah, that's the big thing. When you get relationships trying to figure out okay, like has money? How are you with money?

00:23:49
Speaker 2: You hear these things because we've all not we've all but me and You's speak for me and you, because we've talked about finance is hitting a certain tax bracket and a certain amount recently, this is new in our walk with being a celebrity or being financially stable and you know, making this amount of money and having the budgeted and having accountants and people look over your stuff. And I for the first time, I wasn't even like this when I was broke. Girl, I would have like fifty dollars I'd be like this, fifty dollars for a week. We going out. I'm gonna live my life. It's gonna come back. I'm gonna make it next week. I've never been like fickle or like holding onto money because I always believe it's gonna come back. But I show my million dollar journey on YouTube back in twenty twenty. That was the year I made my first million. I wanted to be like, Okay, by the time I'm thirty, I want to see it in my account. I want to see it liquid, right, So I want to see it liquid liquid.

00:24:40
Speaker 1: It's different.

00:24:40
Speaker 3: It's different.

00:24:41
Speaker 1: It's different to.

00:24:42
Speaker 2: See them zeros, like it's not assets, it's not a car. It's not like it's in the account, right. That was in twenty twenty. After that thirty It took me thirty years to make my first million, thirty days to make my second. So within thirty days after my birthday, I was a multi millionaire. Come quick, Them zeros ain't in that account.

00:25:01
Speaker 1: After the first million, it's easy to get the next million.

00:25:04
Speaker 3: That first easier to spend too.

00:25:06
Speaker 2: You see them zeros, You're like, get the jet, Yeah, yeah, dinner on me. You want to fly to Jamaica.

00:25:15
Speaker 3: The shot collars dollars, baby, let me be I'm transparent again.

00:25:23
Speaker 2: Some zeros ain't in that account no more. That liquid ain't there no more. Now do I have? I did buy my first home. It's an asset. I have invested in my businesses. I'm launching the ltt A app, which is exclusive. This is the first time I've ever said that. So I'm investing, right, So I still have. You know, I'm still technically a millionaire, but with assets. Right, But when you start spending, you realize how quick it can go.

00:25:52
Speaker 1: And the million dollars is nothing nothing. People think that's like, oh my god, it's nothing.

00:25:57
Speaker 2: It's nothing. When you constantly are reinvesting.

00:26:01
Speaker 1: What Texas.

00:26:03
Speaker 3: I said, y'all this.

00:26:05
Speaker 2: Much, honey, But you remember when we used to get refund checks.

00:26:14
Speaker 1: This year he had a good account.

00:26:16
Speaker 2: That's good. Yeah. So yeah. To answer your question for the first time, I'm in a season where I'm being more diligent with my money. I look back on all the people I gave money to didn't do nothing with it. They still in the same position, just so many things. Being Santa Claus and being here such a I'm better. I'm you know what, I'm not a people pleaser. I'm a recovering people. I am recovering. I mean a a I am okay, So I am recovering. I'm getting so much better at saying no. And I'm asking God first before I do things smart. You didn't ask, You didn't ask if you was supposed to buy that person house like they had it, I got it. What I gotta tell you a story I've never shared this publicly. I was downtown and we were filming Wild and Out downtown in Atlanta. I see a lady, she has her five she's changing her baby's diaper on the ground, and she got five kids with her right and I'm staying in this hotel. We end up talking going going long story short, I put her in her kids in this hotel for the week, just you know, put them in the hotel. Boom me. Now, y'all, this is crazy. This don't make no sense, and I'm not advising anybody to do this. A month later, you think I didn't have that lady house, that's who you are. But it wasn't wise, it wasn't why not even the space I wasn't. She couldn't keep it up. She was stressed. I walked in the house. It was flies and gnats and food.

00:27:52
Speaker 1: Oh.

00:27:53
Speaker 2: I just came in the house and I started crying, you know. But we worked our way up to that, you know, I had, I had, I had a real her help me and I talked to her and I try to get her housing and I try to get her a job, and we were working our way up to it. I just didn't buy a stranger a house. And it was an investment property. So I was like, if anything, I could sell it, and it's still an investment for me, right. But I said all that to say, I didn't pray about that. I just saw somebody in need. It was off impulse, like you can't be on the street with your five kids, you know. So I built a relationship with her, but she it don't matter what you do for people if their mind doesn't change. She still thought she was on the street even though she was in a house. So more, it's more than just putting her in the house. It's giving her the resources to keep it up, the resources to pay the rent, the resources to mentally grow. So she was in the house, but her mind was still in the streets. So helping people that God calls you to and the way he caused you to do it, not just impulsively giving. So I'm learning that in the season with my businesses too. You know, I'm getting better. I'd be looking over everything. I'm like, yes, back in the days, Oh it's five grand, give it no, Okay, break it down what I'm paying for? Why is it five grand? Well this person is three grand. Why are you five Let's let's let's break it down and talk about it before I just swipe my card.

00:29:13
Speaker 1: No, seriously, I'm doing the same thing. I have a new accounting team, and I have Marquise every trip business trip I go on, anytime I leave the house for a period of time, where I'm sending a lot of money. Yeah, he does a spreadsheet of how much money I'm spending. How much did we spend last week when I was going to New York in a week? No three days? Well, what was y'all eating, what was y'all flying?

00:29:40
Speaker 2: What was your booking?

00:29:41
Speaker 1: What was your fair hotels for people, trains for.

00:29:44
Speaker 2: People already know her M already know day rates booking, day rates booking, And they gonna send you that invoice.

00:29:56
Speaker 3: Yes, that invoy's gonna come.

00:29:58
Speaker 2: You be like, what am I paying for?

00:29:59
Speaker 1: If people don't see that, they don't stay, see all the things that they don't know what goes behind making everything. And what I'm grateful for now is my team who's like, we're like, I mean finding a place where they can like source out the money. Yeah, but like right now it comes out of my pocket until we get the money. Yeah, you know. And it wasn't always like that. Yeah, And it costs money to make money, so I always again, this is investment.

00:30:21
Speaker 2: We have a beer gonna come back, We have the vision.

00:30:23
Speaker 1: But yeah, I have to be diligent. I need to go through those line items and see what's important and what's not important.

00:30:29
Speaker 2: And see where you can cut back. I've been cooking more. I'm like my accountan hit me. He said, you spent twenty thousand dollars on food in a month.

00:30:37
Speaker 1: I believe it.

00:30:37
Speaker 2: Uber eating a day not getting up. I said, no, no, I said, you're looking. You're talking about the year, he said, he called me.

00:30:47
Speaker 1: It could be like two dolls a day.

00:30:49
Speaker 2: And then you go out to eat. You're picking up the tab for everybody, so it.

00:30:57
Speaker 1: Get out. Yes, he has a and then you look up. You got everybody dreams. Everybody feels were not eating.

00:31:04
Speaker 3: Know we are cow old Charlie chilies.

00:31:09
Speaker 1: We at town and no boo no boom mats.

00:31:13
Speaker 2: And you know you want to do it.

00:31:14
Speaker 1: You want to take care, you want to expose everybody.

00:31:16
Speaker 2: To everything, you know.

00:31:19
Speaker 1: But and I feel the burden like, oh I can't really. I got it over.

00:31:21
Speaker 2: I got it because I want to go there. So if I got to go to town alone, I'm gonna go see it alone and wait for my man to come. I'm gonna sit there, have a date by myself and just say.

00:31:32
Speaker 3: Too, did he come in?

00:31:37
Speaker 1: So?

00:31:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's twenty grand in a month on food? I said, what am I eating?

00:31:42
Speaker 1: By yourself. That's crazy, and I.

00:31:43
Speaker 2: Like to eat. Now order six things just to the same way. I just don't want to bite everything.

00:31:49
Speaker 3: No, literally, we talked about that after church.

00:31:52
Speaker 2: We went out to eat after you have to eat on Eastern and she was like, you want to? I was like, I want to try all the it.

00:31:57
Speaker 1: She's like me too, No, I'm literally like, that are the keys. I ordered the whole menu. I want to try everything, even if I order like I love like colonial Yeah, I'll order to the house. Yep. I get like three appetites. I get it tar, the chicken dumplings, I get the salad. I guess the meat shaking beat.

00:32:15
Speaker 2: Do you understand what we're saying?

00:32:17
Speaker 1: This is nuts nuts. It's like a three hundred dollars uber Eatstville and for one in the breakfast.

00:32:25
Speaker 3: Smoothie, no, the post workout.

00:32:30
Speaker 1: Bar.

00:32:31
Speaker 2: That's three Literally, you spending three hundred, five hundred dollars a day on food. I love it, though. See that's why I need a man that can keep up, because I gotta eat.

00:32:42
Speaker 3: I'm not cutting that out.

00:32:43
Speaker 1: Listen Greenland just right, She goes, I ain't no salady me either.

00:32:49
Speaker 2: I want all the food I want to taste everything. So yeah, I've been cut but I have been cooking more and I'm like, you know this is nice. I actually feel lighter because you know what's going in your food. You feel healthier. I can eat a lot of carbs at home and I'm like this, you cook, you know what you just cooked? Then, So cutting back on where I can, I've been getting my nails done less. I'm like, okay, if I get pink at the at the bottom when it grows out, you't gonna be able to tell. I can last a couple.

00:33:14
Speaker 1: Of more weeks.

00:33:15
Speaker 3: I'm doing good.

00:33:18
Speaker 2: I'm getting longer hairstyles. So this hairstyle gonna last me? What's after New Year Ship? I'm like, shuld up, I'm washing my braids.

00:33:33
Speaker 3: This this gotta last.

00:33:35
Speaker 1: Do you know?

00:33:36
Speaker 2: These are the braids? Is eight hundred dollars hairstyle for the girl to come for twelve you know. So if you're spending the money, take care of it. And I used to be, you know, purses on the floor, not taking Why you buying the Mowi bag?

00:33:48
Speaker 1: It is so organized. I was like, girl, who did this closet?

00:33:54
Speaker 2: But got to give your information?

00:33:56
Speaker 1: You know it over it I was talking to a friend of mine about tithing and about making I said, my mom used to start off with shoes. I'm like, I want a new pair of shoes. She's like, I'm not giving another pair of shoes. Ntil you take care of what you have. Wow, we want this, we want this, you want that, And guys like, but you're not taking care of what you got, So how can I trust that you when I give you more, you're gonna blow through that too. Yeah, So making sure that like I tied before, Like pet he talked about, y'all know how y'all get on the weekend, y'all want to go out. He was like, if you know how you are, go ahead and give God his so you can go do what you want to do with the rest of it.

00:34:29
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:34:30
Speaker 1: But the moment I really started taking that seriously, I saw God continue to bless you more because he knew I was gonna do the right thing. I love that, and it's like it's exciting to give God his saying what belongs to.

00:34:43
Speaker 2: Me, it's his anyway it is anyway.

00:34:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I too was like you girl, I would blow through money just its like itching a hole in my pocket, Like literally I was.

00:34:52
Speaker 2: Like, literally, like, we're in New York, let's go shopping.

00:34:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just spend what you want, get you something to what? Oh? Yeah?

00:35:00
Speaker 2: And then you don't want to be, you know, for people.

00:35:02
Speaker 1: I get it.

00:35:04
Speaker 2: You don't want to do it in front of people. You don't want to feel like I'm you know, so yeah, grab something here. I got this for you, and.

00:35:10
Speaker 1: It feels good.

00:35:11
Speaker 2: It feels good, it feels good. But then you look up all them Nigga's gone and my account is low and I'm sitting here with this Louis bag and no friends.

00:35:20
Speaker 1: Hello.

00:35:21
Speaker 3: So I ain't doing that no more.

00:35:23
Speaker 2: You're not, you know, making smarter, making smarter decisions.

00:35:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm proud of you.

00:35:28
Speaker 2: Thank you.

00:35:28
Speaker 1: I really am thank you. It was the strike that really shifted my mind set on where my money making. All these millions of dollars every year, What are you doing with it? What are you doing with it? What are you doing with it? Yes? I can have all designer clothes in the world, but I can make Zara look like designer honey and desire.

00:35:43
Speaker 2: I don't hey, what don't sleep on baby, Steve Madden.

00:35:46
Speaker 1: Honey Girls new collection.

00:35:49
Speaker 2: Man I bought two bags and some drum Steve Madden earrings right here looking like Balencia baby. I spent five hundred dollars in Steve Madden got the whole store.

00:36:00
Speaker 1: No, I didn't know they man had clothes. I was on Revolved O and I was like, see you got closing.

00:36:04
Speaker 2: They're cu She was just my friend was just on your second they got closes now yeah, the sponsor. It's a come over yes to day.

00:36:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's good. I love that. I love that we always talk about friendships. Yes, And I wanted to ask you something because this is always a question that I wanted to know. Then I asked some of my friends what are things that you look for in a friend? And the second part is what makes you a good friend? Because I know it makes you a good friend. But you know, sometimes we don't understand ye we are and what we bring to the t. Yeah.

00:36:41
Speaker 2: As a friend, for me, I can only say what makes me a good friend by what I've been told. I can't say I'm a good friend. I need my friends they have. You can't I'm a great friend. Are your friends saying that? Yeah? You can't say? You know what I mean? Yeah? Are you?

00:36:57
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:36:58
Speaker 2: So I think from what I've been told, like showing up for people. I just I really support my people. Like I'm like, it's inspiring to me, like the Vena's you guessie, Like I look at y'all, Like when Verena had her show, her one woman show, I'm like, this is lit, bro, Like I want to produce this for you, yes, Like I would love to produce. I would love to help. I would love to I was on the soundboard like this is lit. How can I? How can I help? So I'm very supportive. It's support.

00:37:29
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you are.

00:37:31
Speaker 2: It inspires me. When I walk in here, I was like, yo, like this is inspiring what we're doing next to ltt A. You know, like, how can I It's not a competition thing. It's an inspiring things. The way you carry yourself, the way you show up, the way you you're you're so graceful, but you you're you're very assertive. I'm like, I got to work on that. You can't let people walk all over. It's inspiring. So I love supporting my friends. I love I love uh making them feel loved. I think I think I'm a great friend.

00:38:01
Speaker 1: You are I do.

00:38:02
Speaker 2: I think I'm loyal, baby. You could tell me you dated this nigga in second grade.

00:38:09
Speaker 3: I will block him and got nothing to do with me.

00:38:12
Speaker 2: You introducing me to your nigga. I'm like, hey, I'm looking on the floor. That's all I need. Hello.

00:38:17
Speaker 1: Bye.

00:38:17
Speaker 3: I don't need to be in no nigga face.

00:38:19
Speaker 2: I don't need all that. The people be deadly wedly. You can't trust these girls, you know. So I treat friendship the way I would want somebody to treat me. Just show up, you know. In this season, friendship has shanged for me. I don't think I ever required a lot for my friends.

00:38:35
Speaker 1: Wow, what does being required now?

00:38:37
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I need to know you you for me. I need to know your for me, by your actions, by the safe space you create for me. I'm willing to go through the trenches with my friend, but I'm willing to walk with them. I'm not willing to drag them out the darkness. So, if you got that dark cloud over you, if you're in the darkness, if you got that victim mindset, if you I'll come check on you, but I'm gonna keep walking. I'm not sitting in the dark with you. And I did that a lot in my past, and it put the dark cloud on me. And now I got anxiety, and now I'm nervous, and now my stomach curtain and now I'm walking in rooms. I can't be my full authentic self because whatever was on you, now it's on me. So I'm no longer willing to do that. I'll help you and walk with you, but I'm not going to drag you. Yeah, so what I require is just loyalty conversations. If something bothers you, let's talk about it. You know, we got to have those conversations in friendship too, So yeah, you know, it's like.

00:39:36
Speaker 3: You're blowing up with you never told me.

00:39:38
Speaker 2: I didn't know. I didn't know it was important to you that I showed up for this soccer practice or whatever it is.

00:39:45
Speaker 3: Like whatever, it is a big deal.

00:39:46
Speaker 2: You never told me. So you know you have to treat each friend different because each friend requires different things.

00:39:52
Speaker 1: Just that so true. Yeah, everybody needs something different.

00:39:55
Speaker 2: Everybody needs something different. So I truly believe I'm a great friend. I've gotten no complaints and anytime. And I talked about this on the Craze podcast. He was like, how do you take accountability? I'm like, I'm such a people pleaser that accountability is easy for me because when people tell me there's a problem, I'm like, how do I fix this? I never like I did that. I'm like, I'm so sorry. It's almost over accountable. And I don't sit back and say, well, hold on, I didn't do that, or you know, or hold on, let's talk about this or so accountability is pretty pretty easy for me. But as far as friendships, I feel like I'm a great friend. Thank you friend. You are too too. You just show up and show you want to go to the Hawks game? Yes, not plan right right right? And I still I still got to come to this house. We be so busy, but we're gonna make it happen. We're gonna make it. But yeah, I feel like I'm a great friend and I'm super open to constructive criticism, whether it's in my relationship. And I'm sure let's let's not let's be real. I'm human. I'm sure there's been moments where I might have gotten offended or might have been like not taking accountability. But for the most part, overall, yeah, I feel like I'm pretty easy to talk to. I fix it. I'm like let's fix it. Like, I want to show up in the way you need me to show up. So I'm open to constructive criticism even in friendships.

00:41:19
Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, I love that's so important, And it's also important to know that, like sometimes to take in Beto him like, wait, did I do something wrong? Yeah, because sometimes you can take things out of contest and you really have to know where you're coming from on certain things.

00:41:32
Speaker 2: And people need different stuff in different seasons. Maybe, Like I have a friend who went through a divorce. Before her divorce, she didn't need as much as she needs. Now she's in a season of like I need my friends, I need my sister. I'm trying to figure this out. I'm like, you know, there's differences when you go through a horrible friend breakup. I'm like, in this season, I need loyalty. I need to know you my friend. Yes, I didn't require as much at the beginning, but once you go through stuff, you need certain things in certain seasons. So just being vocal with.

00:42:03
Speaker 1: That, I love that.

00:42:04
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:42:04
Speaker 1: I love that we have You and I both have talked about friends, family, and forgiveness. Yes, this summer we talked about something personal that I hang on through and how I was navigating that forgiveness.

00:42:18
Speaker 2: Man.

00:42:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, as a woman where you are now in your walk with God, If you had to grade yourself A to an F, what would you grade yourself on forgiving others?

00:42:34
Speaker 2: Mmm? I would say a B.

00:42:38
Speaker 1: I said, I'd be minus.

00:42:39
Speaker 2: I would say a bee. It's so crazy. Can I read you something?

00:42:44
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:42:45
Speaker 2: I just text my sister yesterday. Wow, this is crazy. You brought this up. Hold on, hold on, hold on, my sister, But not yesterday today. I was with my family yesterday. And sometimes I feel like we run from family because family is a trigger for our past. So certain things trigger us, Like we could choose our friends. You can't choose your family, so but you always with your friends, Well, I choose them. I didn't choose y'all. And sometimes there's triggers over here with family. But my sister was like, it's so good you're around the family more. And they were so happy you were there. I went to Columbus and that's my dad grew up there. And we were there and I had a show, and my uncle, my aunt, my dad's siblings who were all together, we went to eat and it was just a beautiful family something that I'm appreciating. The older I get in, the more healing I know. So I was like, the more I heal, the less family is a trigger. It used to trigger me being around family sometimes, but that just come from unhealed wounds. I'm glad I could bring everybody, everybody together, I'm working through healing. Therapy has helped me so much. Even so, and so I'm not gonna say their name publicly. I'm not letting anybody control my emotions anymore. I forgive her. And one day I'm gonna sit down and talk to her and let her know she hurt me, but let her know I forgive her. I'm moving on with life, with life, excuse me, and I'm going to be happy. No one in this world will control how I feel. So the more you heal, and you're like, I just want to be happy. I don't want to hold this. It doesn't feel good. You address it and you find the proper steps in tools to move through it and move forward. You don't have to forget, but it's no more anger. You gotta let it go, and you gotta find the tools that help you do that. Therapy honesty being real, Like, yes, I was angry. Yes, I was jealous. Yes I was envious. Yes I was bitter. Yes, this upset me. Addressing those emotions being honest so you can move through them and not hold on to them.

00:44:42
Speaker 1: Oh that's good.

00:44:43
Speaker 2: Yeah. One of the best books. Have you read, The Untethered Soul?

00:44:46
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, Carl, you listen my tailor, one of my tailors. He actually gave me that book a few years ago to read.

00:44:54
Speaker 2: It's so good.

00:44:54
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:44:55
Speaker 2: It shows you how to just let go, go, be in the moment. If we were really just in this moment, we would have no issues because I'm just sitting here with you. I'm not thinking about what I'm gonna eat later. I'm not thinking about where I gotta go. I'm not thinking about my nap, I'm not thinking about it I'm tired, I'm not thinking. I'm just here with Crystal, be where your feet are, be in the moment. And when you do that, you can forgive and let go.

00:45:17
Speaker 1: Yes, so good. Now, how would you grade yourself on forgiving yourself?

00:45:21
Speaker 2: Man?

00:45:22
Speaker 1: Because I know for me it's harder. I'm harder on myself than I am among other people. I can be like, Okay, that's fine, whatever, move on. But when it comes to me, I feel like I'm harder on myself than I am on others.

00:45:33
Speaker 2: A recent situation about a year year and a half ago, it took me I probably went from an F to now a year and a half later, I'm at like a C A B. Because you'd be like, why would you do that? How could you be so stupid when you allowed that person to do that? Like you beat yourself up on what you allowed, but you only did what you knew you can only do with the tools and the wisdom you have in that sea. That's I thought I was. I was being the best version of myself that I could be then. So with forgiving myself, I'm much better now. But I have been hard on myself, Like and you gotta stop. You gotta be like you're bullying yourself, Like you're being a bully. You're being a bully to you. You wouldn't say this to anybody else. That was dumb. I would never say that to you if you if you told me, even if it was a dumb decision, I wouldn't be like, friend, that's dumb. I'd be like, why'd you do that? It's okay? Though, I would I would comfort you, and I would let you know it's gonna be okay. So I think we need to extend the same grace to ourselves. Yeah, so I'm better we forgiving myself.

00:46:36
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. I just love our dogs. I know. Is it over?

00:46:41
Speaker 2: Don't kick me off the count.

00:46:43
Speaker 1: I would never I would never know. But seriously, this has been amazing. I love like how we can just talk about anything, anything.

00:46:50
Speaker 2: This is what we'd be at the house.

00:46:53
Speaker 3: Key Ken, do you hear me on the phone?

00:46:55
Speaker 1: Key Ken?

00:46:56
Speaker 5: You let me know y'are Yeah, girl, I ran And when you text me that girl, it's so stupid.

00:47:08
Speaker 2: See we're not secretcy we private. Yeah, we ain't telling y'all everything. Yeah, keeping cute, positive, sweetie. I love you.

00:47:17
Speaker 1: I love you.

00:47:17
Speaker 2: I love you so much. I am so proud of you, bro.

00:47:20
Speaker 1: You Wow, I'm proud of you.

00:47:22
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:47:23
Speaker 1: You and you equally. You talk about how I inspire you. You inspired me, like seriously, the way you pushed me. And remember I remember when I was first doing this and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna do a podcast and said like okay, yeah that's good. What's what's up? You were like let me know, like if you need like camera people are where to get equipment, or if you need me to help you, like if you already had your own podcasts. I was like, this girl is like you're just a unicorn thing. I just love you. I love you too.

00:47:47
Speaker 2: I'm so proud of this. I see it. I'm like literally seeing it. You're gonna be This is gonna be a show TV like Daytime taught you. I see it, red carpets, everything, everything you've been manifesting, It's gonna happen. It's come. You're already in it. You just got to keep walking towards it. Already there.

00:48:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I feel it. I feel like God is really moving and I'm just excited. When I'm telling you. When I saw this space, I was my guy tears. Yeah, I live. Suri was in the middle of like going okay, this what were doing.

00:48:16
Speaker 2: I was just like, I know, because it's like it's all coming together and all the losses you took, even the people that the opportunities whatever doors were shut, you realize why God allowed it to happen for this very moment. And I just have one request. I just want to ask you one thing. Yes, love, when you get married please let me be the flower girl.

00:48:39
Speaker 3: I just want to.

00:48:45
Speaker 1: That's all I want. I got you, so I would love to know, or my people will want to know because I probably already know.

00:48:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know everything already.

00:48:53
Speaker 1: Yeah. When is there anything that you have on the horizon that you want to share with us? Because we want to support you in any way we can.

00:48:59
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:48:59
Speaker 2: So this is my first time sharing this. I was gonna go to Patreon, but I decided to start my own platform. You are actually a part of it. I can't wait for them to see us on there. But the LTCA app just community for women where we share. I'm producing shows for the app, extra content, daily motivation, daily demotionals, daily affirmations, journaling, just a whole healing mentally, spiritually, physically. We even got workouts on there. Everything. Yeah. So app for women. You can go to Let's Try This Again dot com, put in your email and sign up for the newsletter.

00:49:31
Speaker 1: I love it, Thank you, thank you. I'll check her out. One of the reasons I love the conversations we have on this show is they leave me so full and I learned so much. One of my biggest takeaways from today's talk is everything doesn't have to be talked about. Transparency is fine, but privacy is definitely important. Keep the things that are sacred to you close to your heart. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with me today. You can follow me on all social media platforms that love Christopherne and you can also follow our show at Keep It Positive Sweetie. If you wanna write into our positive Outcomes listener letter, you can send us an email at Keep It Positivesweetie at gmail dot com. In the meantime, in between time, y'all already know what to do. Keep it Positive, Sweeties. See you next time. Love you, guys,