A Little Piece of Paradise with Jess Girod | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Hey, thank you guys for joining us. We're so excited to be back, right Kathy, we are so excited, and you've got to keep those questions and reviews coming in because we love hearing them.

00:00:22
Speaker 2: Here's the question I have. If you are listening to this podcast, you have been able to find us. So if you're searching every week, I have the solution for you. Go to the top of the show and hit the follow button and then you'll be notified every time there's a new podcast. It'll make your life so easy because we don't want you to miss even one episode.

00:00:46
Speaker 1: And just make sure you're checking out all our past ones because they've been pretty good and we're having so much fun answering your questions, so keep them coming as well. Just go to Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and we have some eight questions today that we'll get to with our very beautiful special guests.

00:01:05
Speaker 2: Okay, Susan. Before our guests arrive, we have got to talk about Jones Fantasy Sweets. I mean, for me, it was the best episode of the season. What did you think?

00:01:17
Speaker 3: Oh, I couldn't agree with you?

00:01:18
Speaker 4: More.

00:01:19
Speaker 1: I actually was so tuned in. You know what, a lot of people give Pascal a hard time. He just showed the world how sweet he really is, and he's just not ready.

00:01:31
Speaker 3: I think she's more attracted to Chalk than anybody. What about you.

00:01:36
Speaker 2: I think she's most attracted to Chalk. But at the end when she was crying with Pascal, I don't know. Let's I want to just start at the beginning though, because first of all, Tahiti, I'm so jealous.

00:01:49
Speaker 3: But then did you see that?

00:01:51
Speaker 4: Well?

00:01:52
Speaker 2: Please, we got to put that on our bucket lists. And okay. She said that she could imagine a future with all three. Here's how she described Guy. She said, similar lifestyle, handsome. I can imagine a life of him. Pascal, she said, he lives life big. He has a sex life swagger. But he's the most guarded, she said. And then Chalk, she said, was safe and sexy. Here we go again about her guilt with John. You know, her heart as a red flag.

00:02:22
Speaker 1: So I think she's struggling, very very secure for life long with Chalk. Yes, like her husband had, you know, treated her like a princess.

00:02:32
Speaker 3: I think Chuck will do the same thing.

00:02:34
Speaker 2: I agree Okay, what did you think about our bestie Nancy? Oh my god, didn't she look amazing? She looked amazing, Very good advice. I talked to Nancy last night after the show. I said, nance you always always do it right? She said, yeah, Kathy, it was just simple advice. I just said, follow your heart. I said, but Nancy, sometimes the simplest advice is the best advice. And she's but she said, Joan was struggling.

00:03:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, she cried a little bit. She was.

00:03:04
Speaker 1: She had none of us. I mean, I think personally got there. I think we all should have been.

00:03:09
Speaker 2: There for her.

00:03:11
Speaker 1: I'm with some advice, you know, sometimes not that it's like, you know, I ask you all the time, what do I do with? And no matter what you say to me, I'm going to make my own mind up. Right, Hearing other people's views sometimes gives you clarity on things that you're not looking at.

00:03:28
Speaker 2: Well, Susan, especially when it's my advice, you should always listen.

00:03:31
Speaker 3: Oh god, does she have some too?

00:03:35
Speaker 2: So it's right, damn right. I don't know, Guy got my heart went out to guy like I think, you know, he may not be the guy that's you know, roughing it up and and hiking the Himalayas. But that guy has a sweetheart and he's kind and he's ready. He is ready? Is it was so clear that I mean, I did think differently about Pascal, but but sticking with guy from it, he really does seem ready and I think he's got you know, I think if he doesn't get Joon Tart, he's going to have a big time broken heart.

00:04:11
Speaker 3: And Lake Tahoe is not a bad place to be, you know what.

00:04:14
Speaker 2: I'd like to go again. Hello guy.

00:04:18
Speaker 3: So it was a show. It was a really good show.

00:04:20
Speaker 1: And I cannot wait for men tell all because that that's just fun.

00:04:26
Speaker 3: It is fun.

00:04:26
Speaker 2: Wait, I have a question. She said that, uh chalk, you know, did you notice that she hugs him longer, she laughs with him, she makes out with him, she makes she truly makes out with him.

00:04:47
Speaker 1: And the whole entire show, she gives little pecks, little pecks, you know. At some point, Joan, forgive me, because I know you're going to be listening to this. I thought, oh, she had a.

00:04:57
Speaker 2: Kiss, and then when I see her with Chuck, I'm like, oh o kaah, yeah, I know, it's like it's it's pretty clear. I also, though I have to say, I got to give you some on Pascal. I think the guy, you know, and I've been accused of this, so I think that's why I empathize with him, like I'm louder than life. But you know, if you really get to me, then my walls come down to And I really saw that last night that he's he was struggling, you know, he didn't want to hurt her, and he said, all my belts and my fancy clothes and my fancy cards and all that, what good is it alone? What good is it alone? But he wasn't ready or he's either not ready or he's you know, he's I think the breakup with his other girlfriend is still on his mind.

00:05:42
Speaker 3: It is affecting him.

00:05:43
Speaker 1: But Kathy, I'm a firm believer when the right person comes, your guard does go down.

00:05:50
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:05:51
Speaker 1: It was just not the right person for him, that's all.

00:05:54
Speaker 2: So wait, I did you hear him when he ever said he he's not a fighter, he's a lover. And then Joan told him how much she reminded him of John. And then at the end when he said, I mean I wrote it on my notes and capsus, and he said, I know what love is, and I care about you as a friend, but I don't have a spark. I just it was like a stab. And you know, we do know Joan and that had to hurt because she's there to pick her.

00:06:23
Speaker 3: God, you've been on dating sites.

00:06:24
Speaker 1: I mean, my cousin Don, who's dying to get on our podcast and we're going to devote one whole podcast to dating sites.

00:06:31
Speaker 3: I promise we need.

00:06:32
Speaker 2: To do that.

00:06:33
Speaker 3: We have so much experience, and.

00:06:36
Speaker 1: Her and I both were the ones that I'm sorry, there's no spark or whatever.

00:06:41
Speaker 3: Until just last.

00:06:42
Speaker 1: Year she went on this blank date and he said, yeah, I just didn't feel it, and she's like, what, Like he was straight up to her face. She goes, he could have just texted you know, I love it. But I get it when he said those words, and he was very kind to Joan about it, but being honest.

00:07:01
Speaker 2: And I think it took a lot for him, you know, to get that far in the show and then say those things. I really do so so, Pascal, I take back most of what I said about you. I think that you probably have a you know, I think everybody has a big heart. It's just finding it sometimes, you.

00:07:17
Speaker 3: Know, Pascal like I said, you a DM Are you gonna call me? I mean, did you really.

00:07:24
Speaker 2: Come on? Toss up?

00:07:25
Speaker 4: Did you?

00:07:26
Speaker 3: But you know what, Kathy, let's let's chut just for a second, Joan.

00:07:29
Speaker 1: Joan was, she's a softer delivery person than you and I.

00:07:34
Speaker 3: But what I want everybody to.

00:07:36
Speaker 1: Realize and talk is cheap. But you can decide for yourself to know us. There's a different side to us. I like humor, I like being obnoxiously loud and authentically me.

00:07:49
Speaker 3: But for men to look at us like we both said, we're a lot.

00:07:55
Speaker 2: And maybe we're not always a lot, Susan, we have.

00:08:00
Speaker 1: You know, my sister goes on one hundred cruises and one of the ones that I went on with her, her best friend was going and she said, oh.

00:08:06
Speaker 3: I can't wait.

00:08:07
Speaker 2: Your sister is going to be so fun.

00:08:08
Speaker 3: And my sister Lisa turned around and said, Susan, she's boring.

00:08:12
Speaker 2: She goes to beds with everybody thinks I'm this bigger than life, you know, stay up all night kind of girl. But well, I mean we can do that too. That's the point. We have a job anymore. Oh, come on, I'll get you in the mood. You can do it. Let's go. No, wait, one more thing I want to say though to me, which was so telling. She she talked, two things I want to say first. First, one is funny. So my daughter came over and watching me last night. And when what was it chalk who was she sitting having or no Pascal? Who did she have the picnic with on the ground? Anyway, whoever it was, I think it was chalk Kate. My daughter looks at me and she goes, mom, I said, what she goes, what is wrong with those people there?

00:09:00
Speaker 4: Old?

00:09:00
Speaker 2: Why are they making them sit on the ground, really on the ground that don't have chairs? And I burst out laughing. She said, really they got up there game for these older people. Do you remember?

00:09:10
Speaker 1: I don't recall which episode it was, but somebody had a roll like on all fours to get up and they zoomed it.

00:09:18
Speaker 3: I go, if I were the person I killed that?

00:09:22
Speaker 1: I really all right, cat, We really should get to get going today.

00:09:27
Speaker 2: Let's do it. Please welcome Bachelor Nation star, the absolutely stunningly gorgeous Jess Jerrod. Are you happy to be here, Jess, because we're so happy to have you.

00:09:40
Speaker 5: Hi, dazz Hi guys, I am welcome you here.

00:09:44
Speaker 2: Did I your last name correctly?

00:09:47
Speaker 4: Yes? You did?

00:09:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, very good?

00:09:51
Speaker 2: Well, you know I try. So I have a question. You are how old I am?

00:09:56
Speaker 4: Twenty five?

00:09:59
Speaker 2: Do you remember being back?

00:10:00
Speaker 3: I do?

00:10:02
Speaker 2: When is your birthday? I know you're February February?

00:10:04
Speaker 4: What February sixteenth?

00:10:07
Speaker 3: So does that make you places?

00:10:09
Speaker 4: Is that the cutoff for I'm an aquarius? Honestly, Ever since I was a kid, I would always tell people. I would say I am two days after Valentine's Day because I am full of sweets and love what I've been saying since I'm like, I can remember.

00:10:23
Speaker 2: You know that is a good line. Unfortunately, my birthdays in May, so you know something about flowers May flowers. But you know what?

00:10:32
Speaker 4: All right?

00:10:32
Speaker 2: So I want to know. I know that you your still roommates with Kylie.

00:10:36
Speaker 3: I'm assuming how's that going?

00:10:39
Speaker 2: And you're king at San Diego? How's it going?

00:10:41
Speaker 4: It's so good. Me and Kylie are absolutely loving it. I am getting used to the weather here. It's finally warm again in San Diego, So.

00:10:50
Speaker 2: Getting used to the weather.

00:10:54
Speaker 1: San Diego has the absolute best weather.

00:10:57
Speaker 4: No, no, well, I'm from Florida, so this is a little chili.

00:11:02
Speaker 3: Suit, so you don't get humidity.

00:11:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you feel about that really temperate ocean water?

00:11:08
Speaker 4: You love?

00:11:08
Speaker 2: In that San Diego water? Get a websuit, Jess, get a web I.

00:11:16
Speaker 4: Know, I know, I've been in it like maybe twice, and it's just a jump in and jumper right out.

00:11:20
Speaker 3: It's gold. It's gold.

00:11:22
Speaker 2: Okay. So I heard a little interesting detail that San Diego is where a lot of bapsor nation, a lot are landing. Tell me why? And who else is there? Who do you hang with?

00:11:33
Speaker 4: Yeah? So I feel like I've heard that too, and I mean, I don't blame them. The draw here is amazing. You have the ocean, you have hiking, and you know, the mountains and stuff, all the weather. But I honestly, I haven't really met too many guys. I know, like obviously me and Kylie were here, Jen or she just moved back to the East coast. And then there's cat as well.

00:11:57
Speaker 3: So I have a question why Sandy I go.

00:12:03
Speaker 4: Honestly, I my job's remote. I love Florida, but I've never left. I went to college in Florida. My whole family's in Florida.

00:12:11
Speaker 2: Are you a Gator. Are you Florida Gator?

00:12:13
Speaker 4: No, I'm a seminole Florida.

00:12:15
Speaker 2: State, Okay, seminal Yep.

00:12:18
Speaker 4: We don't like the gators around here. But yeah, so no one of my family has left Florida, so it was kind of like one of my twenties. I'm single, why not just venture out? And I knew I need somewhere with the ocean, and this was like the next best.

00:12:32
Speaker 1: Thing in my opinion, not La or any other people. You picked the best part you really have.

00:12:38
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I need some nice Southern Ish people, and I know, like the Sana is not very southern, but I feel like that's the closest you can get in California. Maybe.

00:12:47
Speaker 2: So let me ask you, are you dating at all? Because one thing that you said somewhere on an interview that just really struck me that you have to feel it right away. I read that somewhere that you said before you should give guys time, but now you need to feel it right away. So tell me, are you feeling it right away with anybody?

00:13:08
Speaker 4: Not At the moment, I think I'm too picky for my own good. But I think right now, since I've just moved here in February. I'm kind of just soaking in making new friends here, you know, doing all the cool opportunities and just focusing on that, and then if someone comes along, I'm not against it, but I'm definitely not like searching for it.

00:13:29
Speaker 1: Do you think anything's changed in your opinion of dating someone since you've been on the show.

00:13:37
Speaker 4: For sure? I mean Bachelor was two years ago, Paradise was a year ago. Of course I've had crushes in between those time periods. I feel like I've learned a lot about what I want and I don't want, and what I will tolerate. I guess is the best word?

00:13:52
Speaker 2: You know, I'm going to interrupt on that. What is one thing you won't tolerate?

00:13:56
Speaker 3: What's your read?

00:13:59
Speaker 4: I think what I've learned my most recent situation, I would say would be that action speak louder than words. I think I would let that person tell me something and then I would wait around for it to happen, and never did. So now I'm kind of like, if you say something, you mean it, and you show up as that, and if you don't show up as that, I am done.

00:14:18
Speaker 2: In short, show me, don't tell me.

00:14:21
Speaker 4: Yep, yeah, exactly that's the.

00:14:24
Speaker 2: Smart Yes. So if you you know who I'd like to know if you would want to bump into somebody on the beach, who would it be? And how would you do things differently if you went back to Paradise? So think about the beach. What would you do differently in Paradise? If I think if anything? Yeah? Maybe nothing?

00:14:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, if anything? I think, I mean I think, no matter everything I do in life, there's always a learning lesson I can take from it. I think if I were to go back, I would maybe not go in with such a closed mind on like who I'm interested in and be more, did.

00:15:00
Speaker 1: You already have that figured out? You mean in your head you knew you like somebody?

00:15:04
Speaker 4: Yeah, you kind of like romanticize who could possibly be there?

00:15:08
Speaker 3: And then not at our age, Jess, hoping for somebody.

00:15:12
Speaker 2: We're just hoping for someone upright and breathing.

00:15:14
Speaker 5: But carry on, I mean, honestly, same for me.

00:15:18
Speaker 4: It's rough out here.

00:15:20
Speaker 2: Oh you're saying that you're going to finish you by yourself. I need to go get a box of Kleenex because I'm going to burst the Seriously, Jess, come on, you are absolutely your articulate you're stunningly beautiful.

00:15:38
Speaker 3: What the hell?

00:15:40
Speaker 1: No, wait, I want to know if she would change anything, you would be more open?

00:15:44
Speaker 4: Yes, I would be more thank you.

00:15:46
Speaker 1: So Kathy and I were saying this earlier to one another, that it used to be the physical thing had to happen, you know, and.

00:15:54
Speaker 3: Now as you age, they're not.

00:15:56
Speaker 1: Everybody including us, aren't as good looking as we were once. But it's about getting to know somebody. Do you want to get to know people prior to making a decision. Another way, it's not just a physical attraction or who you thought about.

00:16:13
Speaker 4: Romance one hundred percent. I feel like, and you guys are gonna hate me for saying this, but I feel like at twenty five, I've noticed a lot of like changes and just like my health and like having to like work out more to keep up with just like you know, I feel like you just you know, like it's.

00:16:31
Speaker 5: Just being more.

00:16:34
Speaker 3: You're just start now the rest of your life.

00:16:39
Speaker 4: So grateful. I'm grateful that I have, you know, everything that I have. But I'm just saying that it's I'm like, i feel like I used to eat whatever and then I didn't care, and now I'm like getting I'm getting more into fitness and trying to be healthy and fit and get muscle.

00:16:52
Speaker 3: And you're living in California, you have to I mean yeah.

00:16:55
Speaker 5: And I think like being in that good yeah.

00:16:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think being in that position has taught me a lot about just like how you know, everything changes and you know, if you go after looks, that will change in ten, fifteen years, a couple of years. And so I think one hundred percent I agree that it's all about like who you are, like what your what your heart is, and who you show up as. And I think that's the long lasting thing, not looks. And for sure, when I'm gonna, you know, find my person.

00:17:25
Speaker 3: I want to make it sure.

00:17:25
Speaker 1: Isn't it also about how a person makes you feel in there?

00:17:30
Speaker 2: So waitam, can I ask you? You don't have to answer what happened with you and Blake.

00:17:36
Speaker 4: I you know, it's been so much time. I don't really remember much, but I just don't think at the end of the day, we just weren't a good match. I think it was a mutual feeling. And I you know, I think he's great. I wish him the best, but just not a good match.

00:17:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, all right, Well we want to move on. We have a topic of the day that we do. We want you to join in with us. Okay and give this your thoughts. All right. We've seen some conversation about this online recently.

00:18:03
Speaker 3: Do you think.

00:18:04
Speaker 2: Dating apps are the best or worst thing to happen to dating culture? We know that so many people have met their person on dating apps and sites, but others argue it turns into window shopping, too many options and no one takes it seriously. What do you think?

00:18:22
Speaker 4: So I've never had a dating app before?

00:18:25
Speaker 2: You've never been on a dating app?

00:18:28
Speaker 4: No?

00:18:29
Speaker 2: Okay, now I'm going to get the clear xbox.

00:18:31
Speaker 1: It's just twenty five if she doesn't need to go on a dating app. I've married so many couples that met on a dating app, so there is good.

00:18:40
Speaker 3: But god, yeah, no.

00:18:42
Speaker 4: I definitely see there's I think there's good. I know a lot of friends that have met through dating apps. But you know, I think for me personally, I want to meet in a more organic way. I have been thinking about if that's something I want to get into, since it hasn't worked out for me yet. But I mean, I think it just depends. It's you know, I like you match with someone that's looking for something and if you guys are.

00:19:03
Speaker 5: Compatible, yes, yes, Wow?

00:19:05
Speaker 3: What do you think, Kathy?

00:19:08
Speaker 2: You know you and I've talked about this dating apps at our age. You know we're both thirty nine and dating n apps. I had started laughing. Uh, but they have not.

00:19:21
Speaker 1: Been successful for either one of us, and so I agree with the windows shopping term.

00:19:27
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:19:27
Speaker 2: My daughter, who is as pretty as you are, Jess, she used to say she's married now, but she used to say really right up until she met her husband. That men on dating naps you're on a date with them and they're having a great time with you, but they're sort of looking as women walk by, like is there something better out there? Like who's next? You know, window shopping? Like this one's great, but what else is out there? So I don't know. I think that the dating apps are our reality because life has lived so much on the internet, if you will. But for me, it's just not been successful. What about you, susan.

00:20:06
Speaker 1: Oh, I've had all kinds of situations on I had met some nice people that I dated for a while. It was like, we don't go hanging nightclubs anymore. You don't meet people everybody's on their phone or have an agenda, and today's world, they don't take the time to look around, see.

00:20:26
Speaker 2: What a great idea. Yeah, Jess, you like the organic way of meeting guys? Yes, perfect season. We're going we're sticking in the middle. We're walking into a bar, and every guy that comes up to her, we're going to ask, where's your uncle, where's your father, where's your grandfather. It's gonna be everybody leaves happening, does said?

00:20:47
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not against them, because you guys, I've seen so many couples fall madly in love. My daughter she met her husband on a dating app. So I don't think they're all bad. I know that when I got off for a few years and then I try it again, the same faces we're still on there, and then you know, you become pen pals with people. You just chit chat, but you have no interest in them. I mean, I don't know. I don't say do away with them, because some people get good out of them.

00:21:16
Speaker 5: Yeah, I need so much tru us.

00:21:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it depends on like, you know, if you know what you want and you're not going to you know, get and tolerate anything I think it's okay because then you can weave through the ones that you know, don't really don't, don't plan on staying you know? Yes, yes, a thing serious.

00:21:33
Speaker 1: All right, we have a new game, and this one's Red Flag or Red Rose.

00:21:37
Speaker 3: We're all going to play. Okay, okay, I.

00:21:41
Speaker 2: Think it's self explanatory. Here we go. We're all single girls here looking for love. So I thought it would be fun to play around of dating deal breakers, where we would decide if we would where we decide if we would either hand a guy a red flag and say see you later by, or give the guy a pass and give him our red rose to see if it could still work.

00:22:06
Speaker 3: Very bachelor of us, isn't it.

00:22:09
Speaker 2: I want to get a red Rose. I don't care who gives it to me at this point.

00:22:13
Speaker 1: No, you do, because sometimes you wouldn't want to accept whatever oh got.

00:22:17
Speaker 3: All right, here we go.

00:22:18
Speaker 1: Leaves his shoes all over the house instead of putting them on the shoe wreck.

00:22:25
Speaker 2: What do you think, Jess, Red flag or red Rose?

00:22:29
Speaker 4: Are these stinky shoes or.

00:22:33
Speaker 1: So just to master coming home and see it, then he never puts his shoes away.

00:22:38
Speaker 3: Is that?

00:22:38
Speaker 4: Okay? We'll do a red flag.

00:22:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, how about you, Kathy? Seriously, I would be coming back.

00:22:44
Speaker 2: Wait, I want to make sure I understand you too. Now I know why both of you are single. You people are going to toss the guy to the curb because he doesn't put his shoes on the shoe wreck.

00:22:55
Speaker 4: And every time, and it's like we have guests over.

00:22:59
Speaker 1: That's a little all over the house. Yeah, that would be annoying.

00:23:03
Speaker 2: Well, no, for me, it is. It is not a red flag. There's so many other things. But okay, I respect that. I respect you, all right. Doesn't like the same genres of TV shows and movies as.

00:23:16
Speaker 4: You do, that doesn't Yeah, I would do the rose.

00:23:21
Speaker 3: I would do the rose too. Yeah. Yeah, you could bring Kathy.

00:23:24
Speaker 2: If he's not watching Bachelor Nation all productions with me, he's out.

00:23:30
Speaker 3: Okay, how about this one?

00:23:31
Speaker 1: Has been over fifteen minutes late to your first two dates with decent excuses.

00:23:37
Speaker 2: Though how much over fifteen minutes?

00:23:41
Speaker 3: I mean it's passable. Depends on the excuse.

00:23:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you think, Jess?

00:23:49
Speaker 4: If the excuses are good, I would give rose because sometimes I am late too, So.

00:23:53
Speaker 3: That's my thought exactly.

00:23:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was the three of us absolutely all right, how about this one doesn't officially define the relationship with someone for at least six months. Oh, I'm just gonna say that depends on age, right, No, Wow, what do you think difference?

00:24:13
Speaker 4: I think red flag? I want to know.

00:24:15
Speaker 5: I want to know intentions already exclusive?

00:24:17
Speaker 3: Are we not? Yeah?

00:24:20
Speaker 4: I'll be home overthinking it. You know, I drive myself crazy.

00:24:24
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't. That's what we meant by define the relationship.

00:24:28
Speaker 3: It's saying you're in one or not or just free falling. You know. Yeah, you think that's okay.

00:24:36
Speaker 2: I think in the in the abstract, it's fine if it were me, they've got twenty four hours.

00:24:43
Speaker 3: Oh, here's a no brainer.

00:24:45
Speaker 1: Red blot is constantly rude to wait staff, consistently rude consistently I beg your pardon, or constantly consistently.

00:24:55
Speaker 3: What do you think rude to a weight staff person?

00:24:57
Speaker 2: You and I have this conversation. It's weird at it.

00:25:01
Speaker 3: It's a red flag, correct, Yeah.

00:25:03
Speaker 4: Definitely a red flag. That's like a very big like sign of like how they treat people in their lives too.

00:25:08
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, Susan okay follows and likes post from other girls on social media.

00:25:19
Speaker 4: Oh, that's a tricky one.

00:25:23
Speaker 1: It is.

00:25:23
Speaker 4: I think it just depends. Like if it's friends, that's okay, But if you know, it's like they're going out of their way girls they don't know, and it's like you know more so like bikini photos, I feel like that is a little bit of red flag because you're clearly trying to get that person's attention.

00:25:39
Speaker 1: So you know, it's funny we read like a Q and A questions that people send in one time, and it was exactly about that. Remember, Kathy, do you remember the advice we gave them?

00:25:50
Speaker 2: I know what I said. I still say it to me. That's a red flag.

00:25:54
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a red flag.

00:25:55
Speaker 2: It's one thing if you know, if it's a girlfriend that they've known forever and a girlfriend you know, a friend that But if you're following a lot of women's posts, girls posts, yeah no, I don't care if they're bikinis or what they are. You're you're clearly wanting to make your statement known that you're around. Right. What about this one is obsessed with his mom like number one Mama boy vibes.

00:26:25
Speaker 1: Since my first thought is I love a man that's close to his mother and respects his mother, but mama boy vibes could be something that you'd be dealing with later on.

00:26:36
Speaker 3: That would depend for me.

00:26:38
Speaker 4: How about you, Jeff, I agree something that I think that it could be something you can work on balance with because I agree, you know, I would love for my person to love his mom and have a good relationship with.

00:26:51
Speaker 2: The way they treat their mother is the way they'll treat you exactly.

00:26:55
Speaker 4: Yeah, So if we could, if we could create some balance in the future, I think it's okay.

00:26:59
Speaker 1: That was too Eric, that one that you know you have to get a situation. He's gonna say, my mom knows best and you don't. Now that's a whole nother story. How about this one.

00:27:09
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm just gonna I'm gonna read this one and I'm going to give you has bad breath even after mints and brushing teeth. I'm just going to say, in that case, I'm not taking the time to give him a red flag. He is out the door before I even have to say red flag. No way, that's a that's a health and safety issue.

00:27:29
Speaker 5: How about you just that's sad?

00:27:32
Speaker 4: Is that I don't know?

00:27:34
Speaker 1: Well, that's the point I dated somebody years and years and years ago, and he was such a nice guy, but every time he open his mouth to talk, I would back up like I could never kiss. Ever, how would you date him, Susan, No, I didn't. That's the problem you, Jess.

00:27:56
Speaker 2: Would you would you date a guy?

00:27:57
Speaker 4: Come on, No, I don't think I would.

00:28:00
Speaker 2: Because I'm glad you said that, because you know what, if you said yes, every guy with halatosis was going to be reaching into your DM.

00:28:07
Speaker 4: Please.

00:28:08
Speaker 1: But sometimes it is a condition and they can take care of it. But a lot of times they don't know until someone brings it to their attention.

00:28:17
Speaker 4: I don't know, but if it's just they're not taking care of themselves.

00:28:20
Speaker 3: So let me ask you guys this.

00:28:22
Speaker 1: Would you tell someone if their breath was offensive and you were out with them, would you say give them a mint or something?

00:28:34
Speaker 3: Be real?

00:28:35
Speaker 2: I mean I would have climbed out the bathroom door within I've told them.

00:28:39
Speaker 4: I mean, like in the mornings, I feel like, well that's a different story.

00:28:43
Speaker 3: But being out on the date and I'd say, you know what, you need a mint?

00:28:46
Speaker 4: Yeah?

00:28:46
Speaker 3: No, and they thank me.

00:28:48
Speaker 1: I was embarrassed, but yeah, I do it. I've said it to a girlfriend I know something you eat. I don't know what it is, but babe, you need a mint.

00:28:57
Speaker 4: I'd probably be like, oh, I have a man, do you want one to Yeah?

00:29:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:02
Speaker 2: I don't think the guy's picking up on that. But okay, all right.

00:29:05
Speaker 1: Won't miss watching a single college football game. So your weekend plans revolve around that.

00:29:14
Speaker 5: What do you think, Chess, I think that's okay.

00:29:18
Speaker 4: I mean I went to Florida State, so I I mean I went to Florida State, so I would enjoy watching like FCU football games.

00:29:26
Speaker 2: No, no, no, that was not the question.

00:29:28
Speaker 3: Any college at all. The college games college your weekend.

00:29:33
Speaker 2: Let me paint a picture for your hair. Jess, you're rolling out of bed. You're not going for brunch for eggs, Benedict, You're cranking up the TV. He's cracking a beer at noon, and he's watching football from noon till ten pm Saturday, every weekend, every Saturday. So when your girlfriend invites you out for brunch with her boyfriend, you have to go by yourself because your boyfriend is cracking open a beer, rooting for the game.

00:29:58
Speaker 3: It's storing football season though, right, Oh.

00:30:00
Speaker 4: Not the Gators. Honestly, I mean I'll do my own thing, you know, like, yeah, I don't need to do everything with him. So, but I wouldn't say I wouldn't leave him. If I loved him, I wouldn't leave him. But he'd better not be watching the Gators. I'll turn that off.

00:30:13
Speaker 3: Well, I do watch Sunday football though all winter.

00:30:16
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:30:16
Speaker 2: Oh, but you don't come on, Susan. If I said to you, do you want to go out for lunch and go shopping? You wouldn't say, oh, Kathy.

00:30:22
Speaker 3: I can I can't know. That's a dude thing.

00:30:24
Speaker 1: That's a how about hates pets and refuses to ever have pets in his home?

00:30:31
Speaker 4: Red flag?

00:30:32
Speaker 2: Absolutely red flag.

00:30:35
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm an animal lover. He has to. I want to. I am looking forward to the day where I find I'm not looking forward to it for that reason. But like an injured animal, I take it.

00:30:45
Speaker 2: I've got two gerry after cats if you're interested.

00:30:49
Speaker 1: I mean, I love pets, but I don't want any anymore. I had lots of them, and I don't want any responsibility. So I don't know that. I don't like the word hates pets and fuses to ever have pets in his home. But I understand if somebody doesn't want a pet, that can I.

00:31:06
Speaker 2: Just tell you I dated a guy, this poor guy. I've talked about him many times on the podcast. He is ancient history. But he had a dog, a nice dog. And I have these two cats who I make fun of, but I love them. I've had them since they were five weeks old. And he wanted me to move in, and I said, I've got my cats. Are scared to death of dogs, he said, I said, what about my cats. I can't leave my cats. And he said, well, just give him away, find a good home for them. Can I tell you? My blood boiled, and without even thinking, I looked at him and I said, Joe. His name was not Joe Joe. The minute you give away your dog Sudsy, which was not the dog's name, I will give away my two cats. He looked at me, be goes, I can't give away Sudsy and I said exactly, But you know what I can give away you.

00:31:56
Speaker 4: I love that. I know.

00:31:58
Speaker 2: I was furious when he wanted to get rid of my cats, but oh no, not his dog. All right?

00:32:03
Speaker 3: What about a guy one doesn't have his own car.

00:32:06
Speaker 2: He doesn't have a car, and you often have to pick because he doesn't drive himself, so you often have to pick him up.

00:32:15
Speaker 4: Is he helping with any of the bills with the car?

00:32:19
Speaker 3: Maybe?

00:32:19
Speaker 1: Like, yes, you are, so you're you're smart. You're giving him an out. That's a good No, she's good.

00:32:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, I give you.

00:32:28
Speaker 3: But if I have to drive, you got to play for the gas.

00:32:31
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think there's many reasons why someone may not have a car, So I wouldn't knock someone for financial reasons.

00:32:37
Speaker 2: But I hear the sweetest.

00:32:41
Speaker 4: VENI of having to pick him up, I would hope he would help in other ways.

00:32:45
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, all right, how about this one has a great job and stable income but seems to be financially irresponsible and spends frivolously except on a car of course, getting no car.

00:32:58
Speaker 4: No, I would say that's a red flag because I feel like I would want someone that I can go to to help with my finances and like help. I feel like you, you know, if he's like spending money like crazy and not being smart with it, I don't think that's very entruting.

00:33:11
Speaker 3: And it doesn't have enough to pay the mortgage, you.

00:33:13
Speaker 4: Know, yeah, or the car.

00:33:16
Speaker 1: So this last one's a good one, but I want to I want to address something first, Jess, do you know what your love language is?

00:33:23
Speaker 4: Words of affirmation?

00:33:25
Speaker 1: Okay, so you know they're all the five of them. So he has a totally different love language from you.

00:33:32
Speaker 3: Is that okay?

00:33:34
Speaker 4: No? Why that's actually where I would say no. I mean, if we're gonna like if it's black and white question, I would say no, I've dated someone who's love language to get, like to receive. He also was words, but to give it wasn't words. So he never gave me a lot of affirmations. It's not just like compliments. It's just like I'm proud of you or you know, things like that. And that took a big toll on the relationship because I just didn't feel like he really was present and really cared for me.

00:34:05
Speaker 1: So I just learned. I always assumed that when I was with someone that their love language was mine. You know, I know what mine is, so I assumed that was theirs. And it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized everybody has and I think I have all of them, but yeah, but some people.

00:34:25
Speaker 3: Like different things.

00:34:26
Speaker 1: And when I learned that, and I understood what their love language was I would try to do what they wanted to do, okay, but they didn't try to do what I told them.

00:34:40
Speaker 2: So we had this conversation. Explained to me, one of you explained to me. Having a different love language is it? Is it how you receive love or how you give love? I never can get this strange.

00:34:55
Speaker 4: I think there's two ways for me. I think it's too I think for me, I like to receive words.

00:35:01
Speaker 2: Okay, and your love language that's your love language, that's what you want to receive, yes, yeah, and then language give way.

00:35:09
Speaker 3: You feel love. That's your love language.

00:35:12
Speaker 4: Yeah. And then for me, my giving would be gifts, but it wouldn't be I like to do like letters or like something like if you mentioned something, I'll remember it, like surprise you with something small, like a little like yeah, like little things that are not like the biggest, but things are just like yes.

00:35:30
Speaker 2: So is that so? Is that why I'm getting educated here? Is that why you're saying just that the love languages have to agree, because if you're dating a guy whose love languages gifts, you don't want gifts, you want words of affirmation. Is that so? Is that what you're saying that his his language of love has to be words of affirmation because he wants to receive it and he'd give it. Is that correct?

00:35:55
Speaker 4: Yes, But I also think in every relationship you can you can be all five or you can you know, it doesn't have to be a set one. I just am referring to my last one where it was just like whenever I would ask for the words of affirmation, it always felt forced. So for me, like I'd have to be with someone who will happily give words of affirmation even if it's not their first choice.

00:36:15
Speaker 1: To get those little things would make you so happy, and it doesn't cost anything.

00:36:20
Speaker 3: It's not hard to do.

00:36:22
Speaker 1: What that is is a person paying attention to how you feel love. It's so easy, Like everybody in the world should read the book twice.

00:36:31
Speaker 4: It's even as simple as like I really like the song that you played, like I just like to like it's.

00:36:36
Speaker 2: Just you know, paying attention. Okay, well I can't wait. I want to move on Jess to we call this little segment advice with Jess And you seem such a wise person for twenty five years of day.

00:36:52
Speaker 1: Don't get paranoid because people are questioning this and you're going to give them your advice.

00:36:56
Speaker 2: Right, So we're going to read some questions. So all right, here we go. The first verse one is from Olive whose age twenty two from Vancouver, Canada. Hi, Susan and Cathy. I started listening to your podcast over the summer with my mom before I moved away from home, and we loved listening together. Now I'm writing in need of some advice of my own. I just moved to a new city with my college sweetheart, clothes to where he's from. He has been my boyfriend for four years and we were so excited about starting our lives together. I got an adorable apartment and an amazing job in the city, and he was still living at home with his parents in the suburbs, but was planning on moving in with me before the end of the year.

00:37:42
Speaker 3: Oh boy.

00:37:43
Speaker 2: Then a couple of weeks after I moved here, out of absolutely nowhere, he just broke up with me, saying he wanted to quote start fresh unquote after college. To say I'm heartbroken and completely distraught is an understatement. Now I'm in this new city where I don't know anyone, but I have this great job. My question is do I stay and keep my job in the apartment and try to start my own life here, or should I try to find a new job somewhere else or move back home. I just feel so lonely and this isn't how I imagine starting this new chapter off at all. I also worry if I stay here, I'll run into him because he's still planning on moving into the city with friends. Now. Any advice is appreciated, my mom, and I can't wait to hear what you say. Wow, all right, Jess, what do you say?

00:38:36
Speaker 4: My first thought is, you know, she may have thought that she moved to that city and got that job for him, but I think that is just probably what brought her there and doesn't really need to be the reason why she stays. I think she's there for a reason. I think she should explore because she'll always wonder you know what if I stayed, I think this city will have so much more than just him, and think thankful, like kind of like change the mindset because now you get to have a whole new life here and you don't have as many memories with him yet, So create new ones with friends, you know, try new things, go to new workout places, and maybe you will run into him one day, but you'll be so much happier that you did that for yourself.

00:39:16
Speaker 3: And I would definitely start dating again.

00:39:19
Speaker 2: You know what I thought I would do that. I'm not sure she's ready to start dating, but you know what I thought from lemons come lemonade, like this could be the greatest gift of learning to be independent and a sense of adventure and trying new things. Something you didn't anticipate. You know, you went from college and living at home to moving to this strange city and now you've got to do it on your own, and that's in some ways can be exhilarating.

00:39:49
Speaker 1: And to make you grow up real quick too and learn to depend on yourself.

00:39:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we wish you all the best, Olive, and we hope let us know how it's going in that new city.

00:39:59
Speaker 5: We hoped.

00:40:01
Speaker 1: All right, we have another one from Tracy and she's fifty nine from Dover, Delaware. Well she's not far from me. Hey, ladies, I have a question for you. My husband and I are finally getting divorced after a long road of an unhappy marriage.

00:40:17
Speaker 5: Yay.

00:40:18
Speaker 1: I am feeling ready and excited to get back out there and date again. Some of my friends have shared mixed opinions on this, so I wanted to hear your thoughts. Some think I need to wait until the divorce is finalized to start dating, while others say it's okay to dive back into dating now that we are separated and living apart. I feel healed enough to put myself out there and date. Plus I have no idea how long our divorce will take. I know for some of my friends it was months years before everything was finalized. Do you think it's okay that I get back out there and start dating or do you think I need to wait until our divorce is final? So curious about your thoughts on this, and also if you'd even considered dating someone who's divorce wasn't final. Maybe I'm setting myself up for a lot of rejection. Anyway, Love you both and thank you for the advice. All right, Jesse, you're going first.

00:41:21
Speaker 4: I think when it comes to putting yourself out there, there's no timeline. I think it's different for everyone, so it's more so check in with yourself if you're ready after everything you've been through, if you're ready to trust and fall in love again.

00:41:34
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all, as long as she's honest.

00:41:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we don't we as usual, we don't have all the information, but it sounds like they've been very unhappy for a long time, so I think emotionally she's already moved on out of the marriage. I just think, Susan, you're exactly right. You want to be honest and say that you're in the process. And I'm assuming Tracy that you all have filed for divorce and that it's in the works. And I don't see any problem with that as long as it's in the works and it's not just quote unquote a trial separation.

00:42:10
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:42:10
Speaker 1: No, I think that's completely right. But hey, don't feel guilty. And you know what, I don't want to rain on your parade, but sometimes you don't find dates that well easy.

00:42:19
Speaker 2: I was just tell Tracy what it's like out there in the dating in your sixties.

00:42:25
Speaker 3: It could be harder than you think. So start now, start down.

00:42:29
Speaker 2: It's a long road up hill.

00:42:32
Speaker 3: Well would you wait, Yes, if you were going through a divorce, would you wait?

00:42:37
Speaker 4: I mean, I feel like I think it just kind of like what you said. I have to be honest when I'm dating. But I think it's just a matter of like I would be ready or not even if I've been unhappy. I think sometimes it's good. It's different to be unhappy and to be alone and learn self love. So if I need to, but it's again, yeah, yeah, it takes time to hear.

00:42:57
Speaker 3: Agree all right, well whatever.

00:43:03
Speaker 2: We've had so much from with you, Jess, but now that one so fast. This episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour has come to an end.

00:43:13
Speaker 3: Wait wait, wait before wait wait, just pause.

00:43:16
Speaker 1: I want to ask Jess if she has any thoughts or recommendations.

00:43:21
Speaker 4: For us, for you guys, for your dating life.

00:43:26
Speaker 5: Yes, uh huh, okay, I love this. Okay, I think.

00:43:31
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know how much advice I could give because I'm struggling too, but I think to just continue to stay positive and trust that you know who you were meant to be with. It will come when it's supposed to, and you will be your worst enemy. If you feel like that, won't that time won't come, because it will.

00:43:51
Speaker 3: I love that.

00:43:52
Speaker 2: That's great.

00:43:53
Speaker 3: Hear that.

00:43:54
Speaker 1: Because Kathy always says they're not gonna want us, we're old. They want younger men want younger women, and she says it all the time.

00:44:01
Speaker 2: Well, it's only been my experience, that's it's been my experience that I have friends who are in their forties and there, and you know, some of them their dads are divorced whatever, and they say, oh my gosh, you'd be so great. And then they give them this strange look, and I say, what is it. You know, you're fun and you're active and you're so cool, but my dad is sixty five and he really wants to date a forty year old. You know, I'm good, but I cannot compete with a forty year old.

00:44:24
Speaker 4: Well, that's not the type of man.

00:44:26
Speaker 5: You want someone who.

00:44:29
Speaker 4: Will see your beauty inside out, and that's that will be.

00:44:32
Speaker 1: The one all you romantic, I really even happily ever after, no matter how long it takes.

00:44:39
Speaker 2: Yes, well on that happy note, and truly just thank you, truly you are a lovely seriously, a lovely young lady. We only wish you the best as you go down this road of growing and looking for love yourself or not. Whatever you decide you want to do, we do.

00:44:57
Speaker 1: We do, but call us if you do meet somebody, because you might have an.

00:45:01
Speaker 2: He might have an uncle who wants to be to forty year old Jess.

00:45:05
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us, and thank you out there for listening, and make sure to follow us on Bachelor Happy Hours. We have new and exciting guests coming out all the time.

00:45:16
Speaker 2: And if you liked the questions that Jess and we all answer today, make sure you submit your questions to us, because we really do enjoy answering your questions. It's really easy. Just go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:45:34
Speaker 1: And listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast.

00:45:40
Speaker 3: Thanks again, have a good week.