Beyond the Grind: Erin Stafford on Achieving Success Without Burning Out

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<v Speaker 1>I do think there is something about having that laser focus on money and like prestige and title that really get you there.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean and this is why my book is called the type a trap, because it absolutely is this sort of trap Like we're obsessed with this achievement addiction, we're obsessed with accomplishing and achieving, but then it's like at what cost?

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<v Speaker 1>Listen, you can still make a boatload of money and not be grinding yourself down all day, every day, driving high performance in all areas of your life, working so hard till you burn out.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe there's a different way.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's talk to.

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<v Speaker 1>Erin Stafford.

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<v Speaker 1>For me, it has always been if I work hard, I win, and if I don't win, I didn't work hard enough.

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<v Speaker 1>Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx, and she always talks about how, when she was growing up, her dad would ask her every day what did you fail at?

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<v Speaker 1>Because if you didn't try something new, you didn't fail.

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<v Speaker 1>Then you weren't growing.

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<v Speaker 2>Multiple careers, success at each of them.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you go from burnout to success?

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<v Speaker 2>Erin Stafford All right, erin.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you define success?

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<v Speaker 1>I think success is something that's changed for me over time.

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<v Speaker 1>Growing up, it's very much been money and job title and fame and prestige and all the things that I feel like we're conditioned to believe are success.

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<v Speaker 1>And then, as you grow in your career and you start achieving some of those things you have the good title, you're making the good money, you know you have the big team All of a sudden, you could find yourself being like I'm still not very happy.

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<v Speaker 1>You know this.

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<v Speaker 1>This isn't really all it's cracked up to be, and so I think, as I've gotten older and as I've I've grown in my career, I've really started redefining success as like am I happy or not?

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<v Speaker 1>Am I enjoying the work that I do or not?

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<v Speaker 1>Do I have flexibility in my schedule?

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<v Speaker 1>That's something that's really important to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Am I getting to spend enough time with my friends and my family and the people that I love?

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<v Speaker 1>Am I waking up in the morning feeling good and excited about the work that I'm doing?

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<v Speaker 1>Am I waking up in the morning feeling good and excited about the work that I'm doing?

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<v Speaker 1>Am I healthy?

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<v Speaker 1>I really start looking at it more as instead of just money and job title, as like these multiple buckets of my life, and am I happy in all of these different areas?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, let's go back a ways and imagine you had today's definition of success when you were young, because a lot of young people today are not defining it the way I did when I was young and the way you just espoused it when you were younger.

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<v Speaker 2>They are defining it the holistic way.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you think you would have had the level of success you have today if you'd gone with that definition early in your career?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, that's a tough question because I do think there is something about having that laser focus on money and prestige and title that really get you there.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, and this is why my book is called the Type A Trap, because it absolutely is this sort of trap Like we're obsessed with this achievement addiction, we're obsessed with accomplishing and achieving, but then it's like at what cost?

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<v Speaker 1>And I think you're exactly right.

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<v Speaker 1>Like younger people today, growing up and just starting their careers, they have a whole different outlook on the world, on holistic, you know, happiness, and they want to make sure the companies they work for are like good and making a good impact on the world, and blah, blah, blah, blah blah.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I mean, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I would have.

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<v Speaker 1>I probably would have been a hell of a lot happier, but I don't know if I would have had the success I've had without having such a laser focus on achieving those things.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, cause, like you know, we achieve the goals we set for ourselves, and so if your goal was happiness and health and time with friends, you would have achieved more of that, rather than the career oriented type stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Do do you think you chose that type A career success thing, or was it chosen for you?

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<v Speaker 2>How did that happen for you?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, my parents always joke and say I came out of the womb opinionated and motivated and driven.

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<v Speaker 1>They're like you were a firecracker from the word go.

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<v Speaker 1>So I definitely think there's part of it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's just nature.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, if you look at me and my brother, we are complete opposites.

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<v Speaker 1>We get along very well, we're great friends, but like we couldn't be more different.

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<v Speaker 1>He's like Mr Chill, relax, whatever happens happens.

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<v Speaker 1>Like maybe I'll do it, maybe I won't.

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<v Speaker 1>I am, like you know, laser focused, motivated, pedal to the metal.

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<v Speaker 1>So I think there's a lot of it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's nature.

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<v Speaker 1>But I also think, you know, when I look back, my brother was very much the guy that was like had all the looks and all the girls loved him and all the guys wanted to be him and like, growing up he was really the like, popular, good looking guy and I never felt like I was that person at all.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I do think at an early age there was part of me that was like, okay, well, he's getting all the attention for his looks, like I'm just going to outwork him, I'm just going to accomplish more than him.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to achieve more than him.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to do.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to make more money than him, I'm going to have a better job than it, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So I definitely think there's like part of it that stems back to that and like wanting to one up him and make myself feel good about myself because I wasn't getting attention for my looks.

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<v Speaker 1>But I also think it's just nature and like I was born like this as well.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know with my brothers because you know, it was like we almost had to find our place in the world, sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like my older brother was the one who was good with his hands, I was the smart one, my younger brother was the sporty one, sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like it's almost like you know the friends, how every episode is the one about, sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like it was that way.

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<v Speaker 2>So where?

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<v Speaker 2>Where did you like, did you develop a formula for success for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Then, as it went through, what was it?

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<v Speaker 2>Is there?

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<v Speaker 2>These are the components of it, or how did that come about for you?

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<v Speaker 1>For me it has always been if I work hard, I win, and if I don't win, I didn't work hard enough.

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<v Speaker 1>And so this has been a trap that I have been stuck in for most of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>That I have been stuck in for most of my life Like I have accomplished what I've accomplished through sheer chutzpah, hard work, working the program, making contacts, you know, like just hard work.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't claim to be any smarter or better than anybody, but I will outwork absolutely anyone and I also have been really good at leveraging contacts and asking for help and and working, working the system.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't mean that in a way that sounds like I'm like cheating the system.

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<v Speaker 1>I just mean in like making the most of every opportunity, making the most of every contact, making the most of like every opportunity or thing that comes my way.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I mean it's hard and I think that's why I ultimately burnt out years ago was because eventually I was like working hard is at some point it doesn't work anymore, like at some point you work hard, you win If you don't, when you didn't work hard enough, like there's only so much you can do sometimes, and sometimes the world and the universe or God, or whatever you want to call it, just has other plans for you, and it doesn't matter how hard you work like, you're going to be dealt a different hand sometimes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, at some point you have to recognize the fact that hard work will kill you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>I jokingly say often that you know hustle and grind is the new stupid.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it's like it's.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just a way of saying, because I think that we can cover up a lot of the ways of doing things wrong by just working harder no-transcript.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, I was just going to say, you know, and I think like I've kind of changed who I follow on social media and stuff as well, because so many people are like never miss a Monday, like Monday motivation you can still make a boatload of money and not be grinding yourself down all day every day.

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<v Speaker 1>First person that comes to mind is like Natalie Ellis from Boss Babe.

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<v Speaker 1>If you've heard of Boss Babe, you know she has built an incredible multimillion dollar organization and she started with one $27 download.

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<v Speaker 1>That was an evergreen download that she had in a funnel and she just perfected the funnel and it created millions of dollars worth of revenue for her.

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<v Speaker 1>She didn't have to like be grinding away all day every day, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So there's like a lot of people like that that I'm like they're actually really smart ways that you can make money and I'm not saying they don't require any work.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely they require work, but they don't all require you to be working 24-7, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think when Tim Ferriss wrote the book the 4-Hour Workweek, I think it started to encapsulate a generation of people that were realizing I don't really want to do this whole 80 hour thing, I don't want to be in that space anymore and we don't need that.

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<v Speaker 2>So I want to go into what's your mindset on the relationship between failure and success, like how does it work together in your mindset, or does it even work together?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I think you can't have success without failure.

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<v Speaker 1>Like it all teaches you something.

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<v Speaker 1>Another person I love is Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx, and she always talks about how, when she was growing up, her dad would ask her every day what did you fail at?

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<v Speaker 1>Because if you didn't try something new, you didn't fail, then you weren't growing.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think it's a really positive way to look at it, because no person who's achieved any level of success has gotten there without some epic failure or 10,000 small failures along the way.

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<v Speaker 1>It's part of the game, it's part of the business.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, I, thankfully, have always had like a really great sense of confidence and I, I, I thank my parents for that because they've given me a real great sense of confidence.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I have such unconditional love from them that it's really allowed me to feel very comfortable in my skin and comfortable just going for it and like I don't know, I just don't care, like I just think't care, like I just think there's so many things I want to do and accomplish in life and like you're never going to be good at anything right out of the gate.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody is like we have to try stuff and fail and fumble and and scramble and struggle like before we get really really good at things.

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<v Speaker 1>And sure you see these quote overnight successes yeah, I call BS on that.

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<v Speaker 1>Like you don't see all of the decades of work and research and failures and attempts and things that they have done and sure they may have gotten like a nice big break, but like that didn't come out of nowhere, that came because they had tried a million things beforehand and finally something really clicked, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So I think failure is a part of learning, I think it's a part of growing, I think it's a huge part of success.

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<v Speaker 2>Now I think people also don't.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, maybe we just don't give ourselves the time to learn or enough grace to understand that it takes time to learn.

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<v Speaker 2>It's funny If, aaron, if I said to you, like okay, you got to run a marathon, you're not like, okay, I'll do that tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 2>You know you're going to give yourself time, grace, to warm up to it sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>You give yourself a year to do that.

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<v Speaker 2>But when if I said, all right, you've got to double your earnings, people like all right, how do we do that tomorrow?

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<v Speaker 2>What is that about people that they expect to be high performers instantly?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I think there's a number of reasons.

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<v Speaker 1>I think partly especially with social media.

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<v Speaker 1>We see so many other people doing it or supposedly doing it, making us-.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, you didn't see the other photo of the day.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, we see people doing the thing that we want to do and when those people are maybe our age or we think we're just as smart or fabulous as them and they're already doing it, we get in that comparison game and I know I'm guilty of it too.

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<v Speaker 1>You see people doing the thing you want to do and you're like, well God, they're killing it at it, like why is it taking me so long?

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<v Speaker 1>But the reality is I've had like seven other careers, you know, and like they may have been at this for 15 years and I'm comparing me where I am right now to where they are 10 years into their career or this particular skill or thing that they're doing.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think, you know, social media is great because it gives us all the behind the scenes.

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<v Speaker 1>We get to see what's going on.

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<v Speaker 1>But it also can really be this trap again where we we see we judge ourselves based on where other people are and they're racing a different race, they're at a different place in their, in their journey than we are.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think it's.

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<v Speaker 2>It's kind of uh, it's said that you know in in life today and I try and teach my kids this is that you're going to have between five and seven careers, sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>You know they're going to keep changing and keep growing and my eldest is fairly clear on what she wanted to start my second.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like people ask what do you want to do with your life?

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<v Speaker 2>I said, kid, that's the dumbest question ever.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like what do you want to try first?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my God, a hundred percent.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had like 10 careers.

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<v Speaker 1>I literally was in digital advertising for years.

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<v Speaker 1>I worked for MTV networks Europe and ad sales.

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<v Speaker 1>I was a celebrity stylist in Hollywood, dressing celebs for, like, the Academy Awards, emmys, grammys.

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<v Speaker 1>I was a jewelry designer, I was a fashion journalist, I was a news reporter, I was the head of marketing for a big healthcare company and now I'm a speaker and a writer.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, like I've done all these different things and again, I'm no better than anybody else.

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<v Speaker 1>I've just kind of had the chutzpah to be like, yeah, screw it, I'll give it a go, it sounds like fun, like I'd like to do that, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So I just feel like life's too short and I don't want to have the same career for 30 years.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that's so boring.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I love trying different stuff and I've, especially in my twenties, when you know the stakes are lower, like you don't have, you don't have as much to lose, you don't have a family, you don't have a mortgage.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean some people do, but like you know what I mean, like there's there's less, less to lose.

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<v Speaker 1>I say that's the decade to just say go for it, try all the things.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I think, though, that, as you get older and it's an interesting one about making decisions based on loss versus making decisions based on gain, and it's an interesting challenge that we face both in business life career it's easy to fall into the trap of making based on loss.

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<v Speaker 1>A hundred percent.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know so many people that are miserable in their jobs and they stay because they're like, well, I already have this title and I'm making this much money and if I change careers then I'm going to have to take a step back and all this stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>And the reality is you don't have to take a step back, like there are a lot of ways that you can change careers without taking a step back and it's just a matter of packaging yourself correctly, marketing yourself correctly.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's just a matter of packaging yourself correctly, marketing yourself correctly, really tying up all your previous skills with a nice little bow that make it look like you're the perfect fit for this next thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I personally think having a diverse background makes you a better employee and makes you a better thought leader, in other things, because you have a very diverse pool of information and experiences to draw upon.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think if you plan it properly, do it properly, study the right things and do it in a way, you can actually make a leap forward when you change careers, like you can.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually.

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<v Speaker 2>It's crazy to me because people don't think in leaps, they think in sideways movements, sort of thing, and they think in well, you know, I'm at 120 grand a year.

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<v Speaker 2>If I go backwards to 80 grand rather than, okay, you're at 120.

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<v Speaker 2>What if we leapt you to 250?

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<v Speaker 2>Or what if we jumped you to do you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 2>Like it's that thing, and it's instead of making a decision based on loss, make a decision on future.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's then jump to high performance, right, Because, well, you talked about your burnout, right.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's first of all dive into your burnout and lead that through to where high performance happens.

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<v Speaker 2>You went through that phase of burnout and I think that people I don't know what it is, and maybe, Erin, you can answer this for me why do people wait until burnout before they make the shift?

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<v Speaker 1>Because we don't ever think it's going to happen to us.

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<v Speaker 1>We as as leaders, as high performers, we think burnout is a load of BS.

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<v Speaker 1>We think it's something that happens to weak people, lazy people, those people like people, not us, not high achievers, you know, like nobody has time for that.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that's how I felt.

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<v Speaker 1>I was, like you're burnt out, like go take a nap and figure your life out, like nobody has time to be burnt out, like get it together.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, and I think so many leaders and high achievers just don't think it's going to happen to them or they think they constantly get stuck in this cycle of I just need to get through this week, I just need to get through this month, I just need to get through this project, we just need to get through this phase, this period, and then it'll get better.

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<v Speaker 1>But the reality is it doesn't get better.

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<v Speaker 1>We as leaders, as high performers, like we keep moving the bar, we keep, we keep there's always going to be something else that's challenging you and stretching you, and so we just keep pushing through.

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<v Speaker 1>We're really good at numbing out, ignoring the warning signs and just pushing through, and so often, sadly, it takes a heart attack, a miscarriage, a divorce or something pretty intense, to get people to wake up and realize like, oh crap, I'm actually killing myself and like burning all my bridges in this constant pursuit of achievement, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and it's interesting, you use the word just get through.

00:18:42.576 --> 00:19:02.275
<v Speaker 2>I think, once you've got to a point of setting your goals based on just get through this, just pay the bills, just make wages, just, you've stopped setting based on what you want and you've set based on what you need, yeah, and you're crushing yourself.

00:19:03.217 --> 00:19:10.630
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I think we also, you know, live in a society that constantly rewards people doing more and accomplishing more and achieving more.

00:19:10.630 --> 00:19:33.280
<v Speaker 1>You know we admire people with the big house and the fancy car and the beautiful vacations and the perfect family and the you know, the big job and the title and all this stuff and like I think it's natural for people to constantly want more people to constantly want more, and so we get this lifestyle creep, we, we, we start paying more for things and then we think, oh shit, I've got to, I got to make more money.

00:19:33.280 --> 00:19:34.567
<v Speaker 1>Now I can't quit this job.

00:19:34.567 --> 00:19:35.853
<v Speaker 1>My kids are in private school.

00:19:35.853 --> 00:19:36.897
<v Speaker 1>I've got a kid in college.

00:19:36.897 --> 00:19:39.105
<v Speaker 1>I've got this, you know, massive car payment.

00:19:39.105 --> 00:19:43.211
<v Speaker 1>I've now got, like we're not real good at kind of living within our means.

00:19:43.211 --> 00:19:45.753
<v Speaker 1>We're not really good at like living a simpler life.

00:19:46.214 --> 00:19:50.559
<v Speaker 1>And I think to me again, you talk about what does success look like?

00:19:50.559 --> 00:20:03.788
<v Speaker 1>What you asked me at the beginning, like I want to live a life where, like I'm not stretched so thin financially, Like I'm quite happy to drive my six-year-old car that I paid cash for and not have to stress about a car payment.

00:20:03.788 --> 00:20:12.806
<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm quite happy to live in a smaller place that's not killing me, with a monthly mortgage and have money to go on beautiful vacations and go out to dinner with my friends.

00:20:12.806 --> 00:20:35.857
<v Speaker 1>You know like I just think a lot of people and this is a gross generalization, but I, I, I think it's true I think a lot of people live beyond their means and they want to continue to paint this picture that they're living this beautiful life and super successful, but that can also be the thing that's stressing them out and causing them to burn out, because they have to keep making more money to sustain this lifestyle that they're putting on.

00:20:36.045 --> 00:20:40.955
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I see that a lot, and it's the old look rich rather than be rich thing.

00:20:40.955 --> 00:20:43.298
<v Speaker 2>You know it's a killer.

00:20:43.298 --> 00:20:46.970
<v Speaker 2>So High performance today.

00:20:46.970 --> 00:20:48.673
<v Speaker 2>What does it look like?

00:20:48.673 --> 00:20:50.637
<v Speaker 2>Because it's changed over the years.

00:20:50.637 --> 00:20:55.213
<v Speaker 2>It's definitely different today than where it was even five, 10 years ago.

00:20:55.213 --> 00:20:58.710
<v Speaker 2>How do we get to be a high performer in today's world?

00:20:59.573 --> 00:21:06.273
<v Speaker 1>I think I mean, obviously, a lot of things depend on what industry you're in and who you are as a person and what success looks like to you.

00:21:06.273 --> 00:21:09.371
<v Speaker 1>But I think high performance today is much more holistic.

00:21:09.371 --> 00:21:10.976
<v Speaker 1>As I was saying, about success.

00:21:10.976 --> 00:21:13.343
<v Speaker 1>It's not just about the job title and the money.

00:21:13.343 --> 00:21:16.410
<v Speaker 1>I think it's really about like are you healthy, you know?

00:21:16.410 --> 00:21:20.346
<v Speaker 1>Like look at some of the the biggest billionaires in the world.

00:21:20.346 --> 00:21:22.009
<v Speaker 1>Like, are they healthy?

00:21:22.009 --> 00:21:29.414
<v Speaker 1>Like I look at people like Jeff Bezos, you know, and like that dude's in great shape, he seems to be living a great life.

00:21:29.414 --> 00:21:38.611
<v Speaker 1>Like he's not like this super overweight dude in a, in a, in a stale suit, like we used to see so much of you know in these big roles.

00:21:38.611 --> 00:21:40.818
<v Speaker 1>And so what does that look like?

00:21:40.818 --> 00:21:46.440
<v Speaker 1>I think high performance needs to include your health and your wellness and your family and your relationships.

00:21:46.440 --> 00:21:53.614
<v Speaker 1>It's not just about your job title and how much money you're making, and so I think there's a lot of ways we can do that.

00:21:54.375 --> 00:21:59.352
<v Speaker 1>One of the things I talk about in my keynotes a lot is just do less.

00:21:59.352 --> 00:22:02.417
<v Speaker 1>What can we take off of our calendars?

00:22:02.417 --> 00:22:04.307
<v Speaker 1>That's stressing us out.

00:22:04.307 --> 00:22:08.159
<v Speaker 1>That's draining our resources, that's draining our energy.

00:22:08.159 --> 00:22:12.710
<v Speaker 1>That's not moving the needle, either in our personal lives or our professional lives.

00:22:12.710 --> 00:22:22.707
<v Speaker 1>As high achievers, as leaders, we're so good at just jam-packing our calendars full of so much stuff, because busy makes us feel like we're being productive.

00:22:22.707 --> 00:22:30.006
<v Speaker 1>But how can we remove those things that are draining our energy, resources and time, that aren't moving the needle?

00:22:30.006 --> 00:22:34.430
<v Speaker 1>Because those are the things that drag us down, those are the things that cause us to burn out.

00:22:34.430 --> 00:22:43.337
<v Speaker 1>And when we can start selectively removing some of those things, we can perform at a better, at a higher level because we're not being distracted as much.

00:22:43.857 --> 00:22:48.281
<v Speaker 1>Another thing I say to people is like, if there's nothing, you can take off your calendar.

00:22:48.281 --> 00:22:58.492
<v Speaker 1>Like, how can we just give ourselves a little bit more grace, remove some of that that stress, remove some of the guilt, remove some of the shame?

00:22:58.492 --> 00:23:08.828
<v Speaker 1>Like, can we just take something off of our shoulders and allow ourselves to thrive in a different state because we're not constantly beating ourselves up mentally?

00:23:08.828 --> 00:23:10.271
<v Speaker 1>Oh, that's another thing I mean.

00:23:10.271 --> 00:23:17.442
<v Speaker 1>I think our mental health also plays a huge role in peak performance now, and it's not something that anybody ever talked about before.

00:23:17.442 --> 00:23:18.967
<v Speaker 1>No one talked about mental health.

00:23:18.967 --> 00:23:21.634
<v Speaker 1>No one gave a shit about mental health, you know.

00:23:21.713 --> 00:23:24.645
<v Speaker 2>now, I just keep going, dude, just keep going, walk it off.

00:23:24.786 --> 00:23:27.086
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, just keep going, walk it off Like and I.

00:23:27.086 --> 00:23:43.717
<v Speaker 1>Now I think people are so much more into it and so much more aware that we are never going to perform at our peak if we are mentally exhausted, disengaged, depressed, hiding addictions and God knows what else I mean.

00:23:43.717 --> 00:23:49.440
<v Speaker 1>I think that's a huge part of peak performance today is getting our mental health dialed in.

00:23:49.799 --> 00:23:52.362
<v Speaker 2>So let's go back into each of those three things.

00:23:52.362 --> 00:23:54.863
<v Speaker 2>Firstly, getting things off our calendar.

00:23:54.863 --> 00:24:02.959
<v Speaker 2>What are some examples that you see most regularly that people have got on their calendar?

00:24:02.959 --> 00:24:04.365
<v Speaker 2>That would be a great thing to just reduce that stuff.

00:24:04.705 --> 00:24:07.951
<v Speaker 1>So I look at it, I call it calendar strip poker.

00:24:07.951 --> 00:24:11.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm like what are these things that we can just like take off of our calendar?

00:24:11.159 --> 00:24:17.491
<v Speaker 1>You know, like when you're playing strip poker you don't start with the most important pieces of clothing, you start with the little things, like the socks.

00:24:17.491 --> 00:24:20.053
<v Speaker 1>What are the socks of your calendar?

00:24:20.053 --> 00:24:22.744
<v Speaker 1>What are those small little things you can take off Like?

00:24:22.744 --> 00:24:24.048
<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's a meeting.

00:24:24.048 --> 00:24:25.673
<v Speaker 1>That could really just be an email.

00:24:25.673 --> 00:24:26.675
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of those.

00:24:34.505 --> 00:24:36.788
<v Speaker 1>Maybe this is the week that your kid carpools to soccer practice with somebody else.

00:24:36.788 --> 00:24:39.032
<v Speaker 1>Maybe you've got plans three nights this week and it's stressing you out.

00:24:39.032 --> 00:24:39.614
<v Speaker 1>Cancel the plans.

00:24:39.614 --> 00:24:40.997
<v Speaker 1>We don't have to say yes to everything.

00:24:40.997 --> 00:24:47.296
<v Speaker 1>It could be simple things like instead of doing a 50-minute meeting, a 60-minute meeting, do a 50-minute meeting.

00:24:47.296 --> 00:24:55.606
<v Speaker 1>If you're in charge of setting the meetings, give your team 10 minutes back.

00:24:55.606 --> 00:24:58.252
<v Speaker 1>Give yourself 10 minutes back to go to the bathroom, to get a coffee, to walk outside for five minutes.

00:24:58.294 --> 00:25:01.425
<v Speaker 1>You know, maybe one thing I did with my team was meeting free Fridays.

00:25:01.425 --> 00:25:04.232
<v Speaker 1>Now I was the head of the marketing team.

00:25:04.232 --> 00:25:05.817
<v Speaker 1>I had like 75 people on my team.

00:25:05.817 --> 00:25:19.836
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't in charge of the whole company so I couldn't control everyone else's meetings, but we didn't have any marketing meetings on a Friday and I really encouraged people to block out their time on a Friday so that they weren't booked for other meetings.

00:25:20.205 --> 00:25:27.632
<v Speaker 1>Because we've all been there where, like you, you're in meetings all week, your meetings all Friday, and then you get to the end of the week and you're like I haven't gotten anything accomplished.

00:25:28.011 --> 00:25:35.154
<v Speaker 1>Then you go into your weekend with all of these things weighing on your shoulders and then you come back on Monday and you've just got even more stuff to do.

00:25:35.154 --> 00:25:51.430
<v Speaker 1>So I'd like to give my team Fridays back to catch up, to get some of the work done that needed to be done, so that they could hopefully go into the weekend a little bit with like, just a little bit more breathing room, you know, a little bit, with like just a little bit more breathing room, you know.

00:25:51.430 --> 00:26:04.894
<v Speaker 1>So there's a million ways that we can create a little bit more space in our calendars and again, it's not always taking a whole thing off the calendar, like I said, maybe it's that meetings, that's usually an hour, can we do it in 30 minutes, can we do it in 40 minutes, you know.

00:26:04.894 --> 00:26:20.196
<v Speaker 1>Can we give ourselves some little segments of time back in our calendars, because if we keep showing up for everybody else, we will never show up for ourselves, and that is what eventually just drains us and causes us to burn out.

00:26:20.684 --> 00:26:22.291
<v Speaker 2>So let's talk about the emotions.

00:26:22.291 --> 00:26:25.511
<v Speaker 2>What are some of the emotions that you see people need to?

00:26:25.511 --> 00:26:29.217
<v Speaker 2>Or the baggage that you said lift off the shoulders, because what gives them the lightness?

00:26:29.217 --> 00:26:29.257
<v Speaker 2>And how do we do that?

00:26:29.257 --> 00:26:29.397
<v Speaker 2>See, people need to, you know.

00:26:29.397 --> 00:26:31.425
<v Speaker 2>Or the baggage that you said lift off the shoulders, because you know what gives them the lightness.

00:26:31.425 --> 00:26:33.070
<v Speaker 2>How do we and how do we do that?

00:26:33.652 --> 00:26:37.069
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean, obviously I can't tell you what's weighing on everybody's minds.

00:26:37.210 --> 00:26:41.166
<v Speaker 2>You know, we all have seen most you working with a lot of people on this stuff.

00:26:41.166 --> 00:26:43.171
<v Speaker 2>What are some of the ones you see most often?

00:26:43.490 --> 00:26:53.133
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of parental guilt that people, that weighs on people, whether you're a mom or a dad or a caretaker of somebody else, there is a lot of parental guilt.

00:26:53.133 --> 00:26:54.378
<v Speaker 1>I am not a parent.

00:26:54.378 --> 00:26:57.208
<v Speaker 1>I do not have kids, so I cannot personally relate to this.

00:26:57.347 --> 00:27:05.347
<v Speaker 2>I got five of them so I can speak to that and let me tell you, by the fifth kid you lose a lot of the parental guilt.

00:27:05.347 --> 00:27:09.231
<v Speaker 2>By the fifth kid, what they're eating dirt, yeah, they'll be all right, they'll live.

00:27:09.231 --> 00:27:11.653
<v Speaker 2>But in a work scenario.

00:27:11.653 --> 00:27:14.757
<v Speaker 2>What are some of the emotions you see in a work scenario?

00:27:14.757 --> 00:27:19.281
<v Speaker 2>So guilt is obviously one emotion that you see people need to drop.

00:27:24.605 --> 00:27:25.989
<v Speaker 1>I think there's a lot of busyness issues as well.

00:27:25.989 --> 00:27:33.096
<v Speaker 1>People think if I'm busy, then I'm being productive, and I want people to continue to think that I'm busy because otherwise they're going to think I'm not accomplishing something or I'm not working.

00:27:33.096 --> 00:27:52.894
<v Speaker 1>And so we see a lot of people filling up their calendars, filling up their days obsessively, wanting to constantly look like they're working, always on their phones, always checking their emails, never like letting, like responding right away, because, god forbid, somebody think you actually went to a doctor's appointment or are in the bathroom.

00:27:52.894 --> 00:27:57.511
<v Speaker 1>You know, like we feel like we have to be responding all the time.

00:27:57.511 --> 00:28:02.308
<v Speaker 1>We have to constantly look like we're busy, otherwise we're not being productive, we're not getting things done.

00:28:02.308 --> 00:28:16.153
<v Speaker 1>So I think there's a lot of that and I think that eats away at a lot of people at all different levels, both, you know, sole contributors, employees as well as leaders of big organizations.

00:28:16.153 --> 00:28:20.391
<v Speaker 1>Like so, many, people think that they've just got to always look like they're busy.

00:28:20.391 --> 00:28:22.415
<v Speaker 1>So that's another huge one that I see.

00:28:22.986 --> 00:28:24.349
<v Speaker 2>Well, hey there and thanks for listening.

00:28:24.349 --> 00:28:29.493
<v Speaker 2>I've noticed that 78% of you are brand new, which means you haven't hit the subscribe button yet.

00:28:29.493 --> 00:28:36.775
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00:28:36.775 --> 00:28:38.873
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00:28:38.873 --> 00:28:40.070
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00:28:40.070 --> 00:28:41.571
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00:28:41.571 --> 00:28:47.525
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00:28:47.525 --> 00:28:55.694
<v Speaker 2>I know I take like I have two days a week where I don't do meetings or work, work, it's just thinking time.

00:28:55.694 --> 00:28:58.886
<v Speaker 2>And one week a month where I don't take any meetings.

00:28:58.886 --> 00:29:02.034
<v Speaker 2>It's just things I want to work on.

00:29:02.034 --> 00:29:02.714
<v Speaker 2>Type weeks.

00:29:02.714 --> 00:29:05.426
<v Speaker 2>It's like just have that thinking time.

00:29:05.426 --> 00:29:06.670
<v Speaker 2>Has to be there.

00:29:06.670 --> 00:29:07.692
<v Speaker 2>And then the.

00:29:07.692 --> 00:29:10.038
<v Speaker 2>Then the final one you talked about the mental health.

00:29:10.038 --> 00:29:18.714
<v Speaker 2>What are some things that you've noticed that and what are some things we can do to keep our mental health strong that you're seeing?

00:29:19.215 --> 00:29:23.169
<v Speaker 1>I think the biggest one is sleep and getting enough sleep.

00:29:23.169 --> 00:29:27.102
<v Speaker 1>I think sleep is something that is completely underrated.

00:29:27.102 --> 00:29:29.680
<v Speaker 1>I think it's getting more popular to talk about now, but it's been something that's been underrated.

00:29:29.680 --> 00:29:32.171
<v Speaker 1>I think it's getting more popular to talk about now, but it's been something that's been neglected forever.

00:29:32.171 --> 00:29:37.989
<v Speaker 1>I think as leaders, as high achievers, we neglect our sleep.

00:29:37.989 --> 00:29:43.948
<v Speaker 1>We think, oh, I'll just get up earlier, I'll stay later, I'll work this weekend, I'll just push through.

00:29:43.948 --> 00:29:51.278
<v Speaker 1>We do not prioritize sleep and I think you know we've all been there where we haven't gotten enough sleep.

00:29:51.278 --> 00:29:52.381
<v Speaker 1>We're irritable.

00:29:52.381 --> 00:29:56.873
<v Speaker 1>It affects our relationships at home, it affects our relationships at work.

00:29:56.873 --> 00:29:58.672
<v Speaker 1>We get a little snappy with people.

00:29:58.672 --> 00:30:04.512
<v Speaker 1>We send those emails that are like, as I said before, no, Erin, I've never done that.

00:30:04.644 --> 00:30:06.231
<v Speaker 2>I have no idea what you're talking about.

00:30:06.231 --> 00:30:08.530
<v Speaker 2>I can't relate at all.

00:30:09.105 --> 00:30:15.256
<v Speaker 1>We get a little snappy, yeah, and then it leads into we usually don't exercise as much.

00:30:15.256 --> 00:30:18.814
<v Speaker 1>When we're exhausted, we make poorer choices with food.

00:30:18.814 --> 00:30:24.017
<v Speaker 1>It's just a whole chain reaction that nothing good comes from it.

00:30:24.017 --> 00:30:32.807
<v Speaker 1>And so I think when we can focus on getting good sleep, we are instantly healthier mentally, people and physically.

00:30:32.807 --> 00:30:39.393
<v Speaker 1>But I think that's a that's a huge, huge part of this is getting enough sleep, getting enough exercise, eating well.

00:30:39.393 --> 00:30:40.837
<v Speaker 1>I mean, these are, these are the basics.

00:30:40.837 --> 00:30:43.066
<v Speaker 1>This is not rocket science, it's.

00:30:43.066 --> 00:30:46.836
<v Speaker 1>It's the same stuff people have been preaching for years, but it works.

00:30:46.855 --> 00:30:50.404
<v Speaker 2>People have been preaching for years, but it works.

00:30:50.404 --> 00:30:54.786
<v Speaker 2>That's just.

00:30:54.786 --> 00:30:56.229
<v Speaker 2>I think sometimes just a reminder is a very high priority for us all.

00:30:56.229 --> 00:31:03.236
<v Speaker 2>So, Erin, I always finish out with what's the best quote or the best advice you ever got for you personally on the subject of success.

00:31:04.185 --> 00:31:06.574
<v Speaker 1>You know I love the Tony Robbins quote.

00:31:06.574 --> 00:31:21.453
<v Speaker 1>I was fortunate and I got to speak for Tony Robbins last year, which was an incredible honor, but his quote of success leaves clues and I think that that is something that has really guided me through all of the different careers I've had through my journey.

00:31:21.453 --> 00:31:28.013
<v Speaker 1>I've always looked to people that have done what I wanted to do before me and I've looked at them and thought what did they do?

00:31:28.013 --> 00:31:28.597
<v Speaker 1>Where did they go to school?

00:31:28.597 --> 00:31:29.343
<v Speaker 1>Like, what did they do?

00:31:29.343 --> 00:31:30.307
<v Speaker 1>Where did they go to school?

00:31:30.307 --> 00:31:32.112
<v Speaker 1>What certifications do they have?

00:31:32.112 --> 00:31:33.295
<v Speaker 1>Like, what's their story?

00:31:33.295 --> 00:31:34.006
<v Speaker 1>What are they doing?

00:31:34.006 --> 00:31:35.450
<v Speaker 1>What does their website look like?

00:31:35.450 --> 00:31:37.375
<v Speaker 1>How are they positioning themselves?

00:31:37.375 --> 00:31:38.685
<v Speaker 1>What are they doing on social media?

00:31:38.705 --> 00:31:47.192
<v Speaker 1>You know, I really dive into what are they doing and how can I do it as well, because we don't have to recreate this every time.

00:31:47.192 --> 00:31:56.351
<v Speaker 1>If someone else is successful at it, they've got a proven pathway like follow what they're doing.

00:31:56.351 --> 00:31:57.276
<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying copy them, because you're never.

00:31:57.276 --> 00:32:05.852
<v Speaker 1>Even if you did copy them, it's going to be different because we're all completely different and we both could start the exact same business and it's still going to look different because we're going to attract different customers.

00:32:05.852 --> 00:32:17.576
<v Speaker 1>We're going to be different people, you know, but like how can we use what other people are doing and what they've already done to like.

00:32:17.596 --> 00:32:18.799
<v Speaker 2>Give us a quick and easy pathway to make it happen.

00:32:18.799 --> 00:32:19.000
<v Speaker 2>Love it.

00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:20.403
<v Speaker 2>You're on the big success podcast, aaron Stafford.

00:32:20.403 --> 00:32:22.910
<v Speaker 2>Follow, learn, study, do all the things.

00:32:22.910 --> 00:32:23.672
<v Speaker 2>Hit the show notes.

00:32:23.672 --> 00:32:24.493
<v Speaker 2>I'm Brad sugars.

00:32:24.493 --> 00:32:27.191
<v Speaker 2>We'll be back next week with more for your success.

00:32:28.817 --> 00:32:34.455
<v Speaker 3>You've been listening to the Big Success Podcast with the number one business coach in the world, Brad Sugars.

00:32:34.455 --> 00:32:44.012
<v Speaker 3>To learn more about how to achieve business and personal success, as well as how to level up or listen to past episodes, visit wwwbradsugarscom.