Octavia Red: How Porn Set Me Free

<v Speaker 1>You were listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from
<v Speaker 1>our sex podcast collective, visit Pleasure Podcasts dot com.
<v Speaker 2>Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. Before we start,
<v Speaker 2>I just want to make sure that you guys are
<v Speaker 2>checking out my new online magazine, Excessive. It's XSIV mag
<v Speaker 2>dot com to go check it out. We are reporting
<v Speaker 2>on all of the amazing stuff that's going on in
<v Speaker 2>the adult industry. Our newest issue is the Music Issue
<v Speaker 2>with cover star Jules Blue. We just threw a huge
<v Speaker 2>three day rager called Excessive House that went spectacularly well.
<v Speaker 2>You can see all of the video and the pictures
<v Speaker 2>on my Instagram.
<v Speaker 3>Make sure you go and check it out.
<v Speaker 2>It is something I'm very proud of and it's just
<v Speaker 2>a really beautiful magazine. And there's so much more to come,
<v Speaker 2>and I'm very excited about something else beautiful that I'm
<v Speaker 2>bringing you right now, which is my guest today. She
<v Speaker 2>didn't let her conservative upbringing keep her from finding her passion,
<v Speaker 2>and after just a few years in the industry, she's
<v Speaker 2>already an Avian Award winning performer with such a bright
<v Speaker 2>future ahead of her. Welcome Octavia red Hi Hi, how
<v Speaker 2>are you good? Thank you for having me, Thank you
<v Speaker 2>for coming. I'm so excited. I've been hearing your name
<v Speaker 2>so much, like all the time. You're definitely a rising star.
<v Speaker 2>Do you feel that? Do you feel like your trajectory
<v Speaker 2>right now?
<v Speaker 4>I think it's hard when you are the person because
<v Speaker 4>sometimes I feel it and other times I'm like, oh,
<v Speaker 4>I'm not doing enough. I gotta work harder. Yeah, But
<v Speaker 4>then sometimes I'm like, no, I'm doing pretty well for
<v Speaker 4>how long I've been.
<v Speaker 2>In Yeah, Well, you've got a lot of projects going on.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, we were just talking before we started about
<v Speaker 2>how you know, like you've got so much going on
<v Speaker 2>that you need to like take a couple of days
<v Speaker 2>off and like shoot some content for your personal platforms.
<v Speaker 3>So it's got to be hard to juggle all of that.
<v Speaker 4>It is, especially as I love to travel, So that's
<v Speaker 4>another aspect, is trying to fit in traveling around on
<v Speaker 4>top of pro shoots and doing my own content and
<v Speaker 4>finding time to sleep. It's been sleep.
<v Speaker 3>What's that?
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, it's becoming unfamiliar.
<v Speaker 2>That's why I drink celsius just in this cup. But
<v Speaker 2>you wouldn't know, basically like liquid crack. Please sponsor my podcast.
<v Speaker 2>I drink so much of your sodas and it's very
<v Speaker 2>bad for me, but I really needed to.
<v Speaker 3>Get through the day, thank you.
<v Speaker 2>So let's start from the beginning. You grew up in
<v Speaker 2>a very conservative Christian household. You were one of eleven,
<v Speaker 2>is that right? Yes, So tell me a little bit
<v Speaker 2>about that.
<v Speaker 4>So I grew up in a very big family. I
<v Speaker 4>personally only really grew up with four with my siblings,
<v Speaker 4>so there's eleven of us, and then I have three
<v Speaker 4>step siblings. It was a big family. There was for me.
<v Speaker 4>I'm the youngest, so there was about seven of us
<v Speaker 4>at home at a time because two parents, five kids.
<v Speaker 4>So I grew up moving a lot, and I don't know,
<v Speaker 4>I don't know how else to live. So yeah, normality
<v Speaker 4>is relative, yeah exactly. So, like, I don't know what
<v Speaker 4>to tell you, because for me, it was so normal
<v Speaker 4>to have so many people around me. I pretty much
<v Speaker 4>shared a room all the time growing up until I
<v Speaker 4>hit like fourteen, you know.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's got to be something like really wonderful
<v Speaker 2>about that though, to be like surrounded by family and
<v Speaker 2>like kids your age, Like, did you have a good
<v Speaker 2>relationship with your siblings growing up.
<v Speaker 4>No, okay, did I take that back? Never mind, it
<v Speaker 4>was good in this sense that I was. We were
<v Speaker 4>all kind of homeschooled, and we moved a lot, so
<v Speaker 4>we didn't have a lot of friends. We didn't get
<v Speaker 4>to interact with the outside world, so having each other
<v Speaker 4>was helpful. But we definitely had a very broken up family.
<v Speaker 4>There was a lot of home abuse, of course, and
<v Speaker 4>not of course not of course, but there was a
<v Speaker 4>lot of that going on. So there was a lot
<v Speaker 4>of disconnect between me and my siblings until we got
<v Speaker 4>older and we started connecting more.
<v Speaker 2>So you moved I think I have it in my
<v Speaker 2>notes twenty one times before you turned.
<v Speaker 4>Eighteen around there or something like that.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, insane, that's got to be. I mean, that's really disruptive.
<v Speaker 4>It was being younger. I didn't really like it as much.
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I didn't know any better because I had
<v Speaker 4>always moved around, right, But I always longed for that
<v Speaker 4>small town you're there, you know everybody since birth. I
<v Speaker 4>always longed for that as a kid, But now as
<v Speaker 4>an adult looking back, I got to live so many
<v Speaker 4>different types of lives before I turned eighteen that it
<v Speaker 4>really brought in my perspective and I think that there's
<v Speaker 4>a value to that, and so I'm happy I got
<v Speaker 4>to experience that.
<v Speaker 2>So tell me a little bit more about your childhood.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you said you were homeschooled, you grew up
<v Speaker 2>in a super Christian conservative family?
<v Speaker 3>Like, what was God in your home?
<v Speaker 4>Like?
<v Speaker 3>What was a day to day life?
<v Speaker 1>Like?
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so my mom, both my parents were pretty religious,
<v Speaker 4>my mom more so than my dad. Definitely. They wanted
<v Speaker 4>to go to church. They wanted to go to Sunday
<v Speaker 4>school church on Wednesday. Is that kind of thing. And
<v Speaker 4>it had been occurring since I was born, so it
<v Speaker 4>kind of became like a regular thing. But I personally,
<v Speaker 4>I think for me, it always felt more like a
<v Speaker 4>fantasy thing that just we kind of did. It didn't
<v Speaker 4>become something really important irrelevant to me. I was never
<v Speaker 4>like a huge hardcore Christian. I fully stopped believing in
<v Speaker 4>it when I was like eleven twelve.
<v Speaker 2>Oh wow, was there anything in particular that made you
<v Speaker 2>believe that going believing that, I should say, growing.
<v Speaker 4>Up with such an abusive parent that was so religious
<v Speaker 4>it kind of makes you feel like it's hypocritical and
<v Speaker 4>that it's bullshit. Yeah, And I always grew up questioning things.
<v Speaker 4>I was always that kid asking the questions like why,
<v Speaker 4>like if God made us? Who made God? You know,
<v Speaker 4>trying like poking holes in everything. So it was just
<v Speaker 4>kind of not something I ever fully believed anyways, Right,
<v Speaker 4>So I kind of created that like, ah, this is bullshit,
<v Speaker 4>Like how can you when you're doing all these horrendous
<v Speaker 4>things try to impose your religion on me. That doesn't
<v Speaker 4>add up and you don't even follow the faith yourself.
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, now that makes sense. Yeah, what is your
<v Speaker 2>relationship with religion and God?
<v Speaker 4>Now I went through a lot of phases with it.
<v Speaker 4>I became very resentful to Christianity at first, but now
<v Speaker 4>I see it as us something that some people actually need.
<v Speaker 4>Some people do need religion, they need to believe in
<v Speaker 4>those things. I think there is a spiritual aspect to
<v Speaker 4>the world, whether it's a God or Mother Nature or
<v Speaker 4>I don't know what's out there, but I think energy
<v Speaker 4>is real. I think we can all feel that. So
<v Speaker 4>I'm just I try to be as open minded as possible,
<v Speaker 4>and I try to regulate the I guess triggering or
<v Speaker 4>trauma responses that I can have with it to understanding
<v Speaker 4>that that's just something I experience. But that's not what
<v Speaker 4>that religion actually is as a whole.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's the way that like people. I mean, it
<v Speaker 2>sounds like it was weaponized against you, which is unfortunate,
<v Speaker 2>and human beings, unfortunately, can take anything that is meant
<v Speaker 2>to be a and weaponize it.
<v Speaker 3>Now.
<v Speaker 2>I grew up in an atheist household, so I'm definitely
<v Speaker 2>not here to like, you know, support religion in any way,
<v Speaker 2>but I agree with you. I think that some people
<v Speaker 2>do need it, and I can see it is bringing
<v Speaker 2>comfort to some peopleeole.
<v Speaker 3>I mean, some people have like really hard lives.
<v Speaker 2>And just difficult existences and they need to believe that
<v Speaker 2>there's something better for them out there afterwards.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I give them something to hold on to to
<v Speaker 4>keep them going day to day.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>And you know, and like I never really thought about
<v Speaker 2>this too much until, like my father died. But you know,
<v Speaker 2>the idea that people who so strongly believe in like
<v Speaker 2>the afterlife, you know, who truly believe that their loved
<v Speaker 2>ones are going somewhere like wonderful and then like they
<v Speaker 2>can join them later, that feels like a really comforting
<v Speaker 2>feeling and thought to have because I don't have that,
<v Speaker 2>you know, like to me, like my dad's gone forever.
<v Speaker 4>It's interesting. Yeah, I know it is because so my
<v Speaker 4>father passed away and I've lost four sisters and sorry, uh,
<v Speaker 4>thank you, it's okay. And some of my siblings are
<v Speaker 4>still very religious, some of them not so much. Some
<v Speaker 4>of them are. And my latest sister who passed away,
<v Speaker 4>she had such a peace. She passed away from lamatory
<v Speaker 4>breast cancer, but she passed away with such a peace
<v Speaker 4>because she felt like, I'm going to go to heaven
<v Speaker 4>and I'm going to be with God. My children are
<v Speaker 4>gonna be taken care of.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>So like she had this piece about her when she
<v Speaker 4>went and that was that was in itself just kind
<v Speaker 4>of interesting to watch her not fight it and have that.
<v Speaker 4>So what I think religion does have its benefits and
<v Speaker 4>bless things to people.
<v Speaker 2>So how did that strong religious background and you know,
<v Speaker 2>being raised that way, how did that affect your relationship
<v Speaker 2>with sexuality?
<v Speaker 4>I think the way that my mother was about sex
<v Speaker 4>was very that's the right word, not great. She was
<v Speaker 4>a bit sexist towards men. So she would always say like,
<v Speaker 4>oh man, I'll just want one thing from you. That's
<v Speaker 4>all they want from you. You got to guard yourself
<v Speaker 4>beyond guard that kind of thing, whether or not that's
<v Speaker 4>true or not, you know.
<v Speaker 3>I mean, colonel or.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, look like we all want something from somebody, right,
<v Speaker 2>Like that's just human nature, so to a degree, to
<v Speaker 2>a degree, but not everybody.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, not in the scareful tactic that she was using, Yes, exactly,
<v Speaker 4>and it was about like, you know, sex before marriage,
<v Speaker 4>this whole nine yards. But being someone that you know,
<v Speaker 4>I'm the youngest, right, so I'm in't sitting in the
<v Speaker 4>hot seat where I get to see what all my
<v Speaker 4>other siblings go through and how she treats them. So
<v Speaker 4>I always had the perspective of half the ship she's
<v Speaker 4>telling me is bullshit, which is probably not a great
<v Speaker 4>way for a kid to grow up. But that with
<v Speaker 4>everything that she was imposing about sex, I kind of
<v Speaker 4>took that with a grain of salt. And even though
<v Speaker 4>it made me feel like, oh, maybe this is wrong,
<v Speaker 4>maybe I shouldn't be doing this, it didn't overtake me.
<v Speaker 4>So I still was a very sexual, sexual person and
<v Speaker 4>didn't let that override as much. But they're definitely is
<v Speaker 4>a reserve side where it's hard for me to just
<v Speaker 4>open up and just have fun, like it takes me
<v Speaker 4>a second to be like, Okay, it's okay, I'm having sex.
<v Speaker 4>I can be here too.
<v Speaker 3>Do you still feel that way?
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, definitely, okay.
<v Speaker 2>So, like it's it's so hard to shed that shame,
<v Speaker 2>Like when it's ingrained in you from a young age,
<v Speaker 2>it's so hard to like let that go.
<v Speaker 4>It is like, even even with like the resilience of
<v Speaker 4>being like oh this is bullshit at a young age,
<v Speaker 4>it's still in there. Yeah, it's still in.
<v Speaker 2>Because you're hard wired from such a young age, Like
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't matter what you learn later, like you will
<v Speaker 2>always carry that with you for the rest of your life, absolutely,
<v Speaker 2>which is like why I work so like which I'm
<v Speaker 2>so careful with my daughter who's four, to like give
<v Speaker 2>her a balance perspective. I mean, she's too young to
<v Speaker 2>talk about sex right obviously, but just like just nudity
<v Speaker 2>and like just little things just in general. Like I
<v Speaker 2>was talking to a friend of mine and she was like,
<v Speaker 2>when are you gonna like talk to your daughter about
<v Speaker 2>like menstruation, you know, And I'm like, ilady.
<v Speaker 3>Did she asked me?
<v Speaker 2>And I told her and I explained to her what happened,
<v Speaker 2>and she asked me where babies come from. And I
<v Speaker 2>didn't explain the sex part right because she didn't ask really,
<v Speaker 2>but I told her, like what I mean, I.
<v Speaker 4>Just form the womb.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like I just tell her the truth like in
<v Speaker 2>a way that makes her understand.
<v Speaker 3>And I don't. I'm not weird about it.
<v Speaker 4>No, because you know what I mean, because as a parent,
<v Speaker 4>you're a guide, right, Yeah, You're just guiding this precious
<v Speaker 4>life to understand so that they have the proper tools
<v Speaker 4>when they're older to live a good life. Yeah. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>so I think I think that's awesome.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean and I was raised that way too,
<v Speaker 2>without like a sense of like shame around sex. And
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I have like a healthy relationship with that.
<v Speaker 2>Like I just you know, I don't ever want her
<v Speaker 2>to feel like I want her to be careful about it.
<v Speaker 2>I want her to understand obviously that there's repercussions that
<v Speaker 2>come with you know, sex and like casuals, like all
<v Speaker 2>of those things that we all as adults understand, like STDs, pregnancies,
<v Speaker 2>like safety, safety.
<v Speaker 3>Like so many things.
<v Speaker 2>But like I don't ever want her to, like, you know,
<v Speaker 2>carry like a sense of shame around it.
<v Speaker 3>You know.
<v Speaker 4>I love that.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so's it's hard to like find that balance. But
<v Speaker 2>I talked to so many people like you who you know,
<v Speaker 2>were raised in that kind of household and fans too.
<v Speaker 4>Actually, yeah, I think it's also the era.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>I Like my parents were in their sixties, so where
<v Speaker 4>the era that they grew up in was still very religious,
<v Speaker 4>still like you're you're a whore if you have sex
<v Speaker 4>with anyone but your husband kind of thing. And my
<v Speaker 4>mom got pregnant out of wedlock, like she got pregnant
<v Speaker 4>seventeen eighteen, So I'm sure she dealt with a lot
<v Speaker 4>of like bad you know. I'm sure she got shamed
<v Speaker 4>for that, yeah, you know, and that era just wants
<v Speaker 4>to protect you exactly.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>So I think a lot of these fears come from
<v Speaker 4>their own personal experiences because we were we weren't really
<v Speaker 4>away from the religion aspect at that point. I think
<v Speaker 4>we're just starting to break that down. And maybe the
<v Speaker 4>early two thousands.
<v Speaker 2>So what was your first exposure to anything related to
<v Speaker 2>sex or the porn industry?
<v Speaker 4>Movies? So, at a young age, I was watching movies
<v Speaker 4>that maybe were a little more advanced for me to
<v Speaker 4>be watching. And I can't remember exactly what movie it was.
<v Speaker 4>But I remember the girl was about my age, like ten,
<v Speaker 4>like tennish or whatever. Because again, very religious family, we
<v Speaker 4>don't talk about sex, right. She asked those questions like
<v Speaker 4>where did babies come from? What are sex? And it
<v Speaker 4>was that scene in the movie where I found out, like, oh,
<v Speaker 4>penis inside vagina? You know, that's where I learned.
<v Speaker 3>It was, where'd you think babies came before that?
<v Speaker 4>I don't think I really thought about it, Okay. I
<v Speaker 4>think that I just didn't care as a kid, like
<v Speaker 4>it wasn't a worry to me because I never wanted
<v Speaker 4>to have kids. I wasn't a baby doll person.
<v Speaker 2>You also were the youngest, so you never saw your
<v Speaker 2>mom have another child, right.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's probably a big part of it too. Yeah. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>I don't know. I just never had that question, And
<v Speaker 4>so I learned through movies. And that's kind of funny
<v Speaker 4>putting this together. That's probably why when I started masturbating
<v Speaker 4>and all this, I watched sex scenes from movies. I
<v Speaker 4>didn't I mean, I watched porn, but I didn't really
<v Speaker 4>watch porn as much. I would find the explicit sex
<v Speaker 4>scenes from like Eva Green's French films, for instance. Oh wow,
<v Speaker 4>the dreamers and stuff like that.
<v Speaker 3>That's like high class.
<v Speaker 4>It's just so good.
<v Speaker 2>So your parents, so you had like access to a
<v Speaker 2>personal computer on the internet. Were they like concerned about
<v Speaker 2>what you would access or did they not think about it?
<v Speaker 2>I feel like a lot of parents don't think about
<v Speaker 2>what their kids are looking at online.
<v Speaker 4>Oh, they definitely. I mean my dad didn't care, but
<v Speaker 4>my mom was definitely scoping. I remember her taking all
<v Speaker 4>my siblings. I was too young, so she told me
<v Speaker 4>to go in the other room, but she had all
<v Speaker 4>my siblings in the living room, which she was like,
<v Speaker 4>who was watching poor? And she she blamed it all
<v Speaker 4>my brother, but I learned as an adult it was
<v Speaker 4>actually my sister.
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, that's so funny.
<v Speaker 4>I love it so much. My brother just took the
<v Speaker 4>al he was like, fine.
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, that's ironic.
<v Speaker 4>I love that.
<v Speaker 3>Okay.
<v Speaker 2>So between the time period of growing up in a
<v Speaker 2>religious household and getting into porn, did you have an
<v Speaker 2>active sex life.
<v Speaker 3>I did.
<v Speaker 4>I was kind of with the same guy for four
<v Speaker 4>years and then a guy after him for five years,
<v Speaker 4>So I wasn't like going around fucking a lot of people.
<v Speaker 4>But I had a very active sex life with my
<v Speaker 4>high school sweetheart and with the guy I was with
<v Speaker 4>after him too, after him, so I was still having
<v Speaker 4>sex and you know, having fun here and there.
<v Speaker 2>Were you worried about having sex like with your first boyfriend?
<v Speaker 2>And did you have access to like contraception or did
<v Speaker 2>you know about contraception because that's another problem too with
<v Speaker 2>kids who don't have sex education, and you know, because
<v Speaker 2>you don't talk about sex, and then they go and
<v Speaker 2>they have sex like a lot of you know, like
<v Speaker 2>young older teenagers do or whatever, and then they don't,
<v Speaker 2>you know, they don't they don't know how to mean.
<v Speaker 4>Mom.
<v Speaker 2>The minute I like had a real boyfriend, my mom
<v Speaker 2>put me on birth control at sixteen, Oh okay, because
<v Speaker 2>she was like, you're not going to have a baby
<v Speaker 2>at sixteen, you know what I mean, Like she knew
<v Speaker 2>it was happening.
<v Speaker 4>So so I was homeschooled till sixth grade and then
<v Speaker 4>I went to public school, okay, and luckily in high
<v Speaker 4>school I did get a sex education through them. Okay,
<v Speaker 4>I still wasn't allowed to date technically, so I was
<v Speaker 4>like secretly dating this boy for four years and we
<v Speaker 4>were smart because I was paranoid, like I don't want
<v Speaker 4>to get pregnant. I don't. I was more worried about
<v Speaker 4>getting pregnant than STDs at the time, but I was
<v Speaker 4>also worried.
<v Speaker 3>Is the STD that sticks with you for eighteen years? Yeah?
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, oh that didn't want that? No good, So we
<v Speaker 4>were safe, Like we use condoms for sure, because let's see,
<v Speaker 4>when I was in AM I allowed to say when
<v Speaker 4>I lost my virginity on here. Yeah okay, yeah, I
<v Speaker 4>mean I was younger and planned parenthood was still kind
<v Speaker 4>of around and was more prevalent before all the crap,
<v Speaker 4>and so it was kind of accessible to get some
<v Speaker 4>condoms here and there. So yeah, that's k smart.
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<v Speaker 5>so let's talk about how you ended up working in
<v Speaker 5>the adult industry. How did you segue from growing up Christian,
<v Speaker 5>conservative family, homeschools, then porn industry.
<v Speaker 4>You know, I was kind of just working bullshit nine
<v Speaker 4>to five jobs, a couple of cool jobs, but mostly
<v Speaker 4>just bullshit nine to five jobs and COVID hit and
<v Speaker 4>I lost. My job was working at a casino at
<v Speaker 4>closed down. Long story short, I just decided to do
<v Speaker 4>things that I enjoyed with my time. And I've always
<v Speaker 4>been a theater kid, choir kid, loved performing arts, I
<v Speaker 4>loved modeling. So I just started working with Instagram photographers
<v Speaker 4>and models to do boudoir modeling and just do explicit nudes.
<v Speaker 4>And that's how I started. So opened my Twitter and
<v Speaker 4>with a couple of Within a couple of days, I
<v Speaker 4>got hit up by an agent asking me if I'd
<v Speaker 4>be interested doing porn. I talked with him. I thought
<v Speaker 4>it was a scam. At first, I got the license
<v Speaker 4>idea of the agency, realized it wasn't a.
<v Speaker 3>Scamarm you asked for the license, I d.
<v Speaker 4>I did, wow, Okay, I was like, I'm not falling
<v Speaker 4>for a scam. And I sat on it and I
<v Speaker 4>was like, I don't know if I should because I
<v Speaker 4>never thought about doing porn before. It was never a
<v Speaker 4>thought in my head. And then I decided, maybe six
<v Speaker 4>months after he had reached out to me, like okay,
<v Speaker 4>I'll do it.
<v Speaker 3>What made you make that decision, because that's a pretty
<v Speaker 3>big decision.
<v Speaker 4>I don't know. I don't know. I think that I
<v Speaker 4>have lived my life a little impulsively, Okay. I'm always
<v Speaker 4>interested in new adventures, doing new things, things that I
<v Speaker 4>know nothing about. Sometimes I'd just like to dive in
<v Speaker 4>to find out about it if I can do it
<v Speaker 4>in a safe way. And I think I held off
<v Speaker 4>on it because I wasn't sure if this was safe.
<v Speaker 4>If that makes sense. Yeah, if you're a civilian and
<v Speaker 4>you're in, You're like, oh, I'm gonna get sex traffic.
<v Speaker 2>Like wow, that's the biggest. That's like the number one
<v Speaker 2>thing I hear. It's like, oh, am I going to
<v Speaker 2>get sex trafficked?
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?
<v Speaker 4>Like well, because I'd be flying from Sacramento to Vegas, right,
<v Speaker 4>so I'd be going to a city that I do
<v Speaker 4>nothing about. No, you're there. So I'm like, this is
<v Speaker 4>a big risk for me. So I sat in it
<v Speaker 4>for a while and I decided to take the leap.
<v Speaker 4>I think I was just going through a lot of
<v Speaker 4>things in my life and I was looking for something
<v Speaker 4>that would fulfill me. And I decided to see if
<v Speaker 4>this is what it would do.
<v Speaker 3>That and what is what is the result so far?
<v Speaker 4>So far? Yeah, it has. You know. I did three
<v Speaker 4>scenes and then I left for almost a year because
<v Speaker 4>I you know, chickened out. I was like, was my
<v Speaker 4>family going to think of me? What are my friend's
<v Speaker 4>going to think of me? Am I going to be
<v Speaker 4>able to look myself in the mirror and be happy
<v Speaker 4>with what I'm doing? Because once you're out there, you're
<v Speaker 4>out there.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know, like I.
<v Speaker 4>Could maybe do three scenes and get away with like
<v Speaker 4>you know.
<v Speaker 3>Throwing disappearing into the ether.
<v Speaker 4>Maybe yeah, maybe, like I'm sure it'll come up, you know.
<v Speaker 4>But I had to really have that real conversation with
<v Speaker 4>myself because I'm the type of person that I don't
<v Speaker 4>like to hide what I'm doing. I don't like to
<v Speaker 4>feel like I have to hide parts of my life
<v Speaker 4>away from who I care about. And I decided to
<v Speaker 4>take that leap so my family knows, everybody knows. I
<v Speaker 4>don't hide it from anybody. I mean, maybe my uber driver, but.
<v Speaker 3>Smart, you know, yeah, because it's very.
<v Speaker 4>Important to me to just be genuine to the people
<v Speaker 4>around me. So I took that time to really make
<v Speaker 4>sure this is what I wanted to do, and I'm
<v Speaker 4>very happy that I did, because I think in a way,
<v Speaker 4>porn has very much saved my life.
<v Speaker 3>Okay, can you elaborate on that.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. So, Also when I was diving into porn, I
<v Speaker 4>had lost my dad in twenty eighteen, and I had
<v Speaker 4>lost two sisters, and then my sister two other sisters
<v Speaker 4>were going through inflammatory breast cancer. One of them was
<v Speaker 4>at stage four. And I might get teary eyed, but
<v Speaker 4>it's okay. When you watch someone who's very young lose
<v Speaker 4>their life and they're fighting very hard to keep every
<v Speaker 4>second of it, and you've been depressed and hating life
<v Speaker 4>and suicidal, you see how much that person wants their life,
<v Speaker 4>and it makes you think, how can I sit here
<v Speaker 4>I want to give my life up when that person
<v Speaker 4>would do anything to spend more time with their children,
<v Speaker 4>And you're like, Okay, I can't keep being this little
<v Speaker 4>shit that's going to work smoking all day just to
<v Speaker 4>numb themselves and not do anything with their life. If
<v Speaker 4>I'm given this time that's being stolen from this person,
<v Speaker 4>I better fucking do something with it. And that was
<v Speaker 4>the biggest motivator for me of like, Okay, maybe porn
<v Speaker 4>is not the endgame, but it can open doors to
<v Speaker 4>things that I do really love, which is music, fashion, traveling,
<v Speaker 4>performing arts, modeling. You know, I got to work with Hustler,
<v Speaker 4>I've got to work with Penthouse, I get to sit
<v Speaker 4>here with you. That's phenomenal. Like these are like I've
<v Speaker 4>worked with Fixon now, which was huge aspiration for me.
<v Speaker 4>Browsers now, Like these are huge things that I never
<v Speaker 4>thought in a million years that I would be able
<v Speaker 4>to do. And it took, unfortunately, those traumatic things to
<v Speaker 4>realize I am wasting my life and I have to change.
<v Speaker 2>I can so relate to that, and it's it's like
<v Speaker 2>that's the gift that your sister gave you, you know,
<v Speaker 2>and sometimes like somebody, like the death of somebody, it
<v Speaker 2>can be you can take that as a gift. You
<v Speaker 2>can take that horrible, devastating thing and you can turn
<v Speaker 2>it around, and you can and you can make something
<v Speaker 2>out of it, and you can turn it into like
<v Speaker 2>a gift of life in a way. But you have
<v Speaker 2>to decide to make to turn that thing around.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, instead of wallowing in the sorrow, Yeah, turning it
<v Speaker 4>into something that you can live with. And also those
<v Speaker 4>people who pass, they don't want you to be miserable, Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>they want you to take that love and grief, because
<v Speaker 4>grief is a beautiful thing. It's painful, but it's beautiful
<v Speaker 4>and you can take it and turn it into something productive. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>that's what those people who pass want you to do. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>we will talk about Dix at some point.
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, I know there's been like a lot.
<v Speaker 2>Of it's been a rough year, man, and like my
<v Speaker 2>uncle died yesterday.
<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh, you're like the fourth person that I've
<v Speaker 4>been talking to this week that someone has passed away.
<v Speaker 4>It's so heavy.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's crazy.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's like the time of year.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't know, I know a lot. I've talked
<v Speaker 2>to a lot of people going through that. It's yeah,
<v Speaker 2>it's a lot.
<v Speaker 3>It goes on, you know, and here we are.
<v Speaker 4>I think that's the weirdest part about death is accepting
<v Speaker 4>that it does still go on.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>So how has your family reacted to your career? My family,
<v Speaker 4>I think is just happy. I'm alive and happy at
<v Speaker 4>this point. And some of them, so.
<v Speaker 2>You were really going through it? Were they concerned like
<v Speaker 2>they were going to lose you?
<v Speaker 4>Oh? Meat, No, it's just that like it felt like
<v Speaker 4>every year we were losing it.
<v Speaker 3>Gotcha.
<v Speaker 4>So it was just like Okay, my dad passed. Then
<v Speaker 4>six months six or eight months later, another sister passes,
<v Speaker 4>than another another, And I think all of that bonded
<v Speaker 4>us together to where like, it doesn't really matter what
<v Speaker 4>you do as long as you're happy and healthy. We
<v Speaker 4>just want to love each other.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>So I have some siblings who think it's really cool
<v Speaker 4>what I do. I have other siblings that are like,
<v Speaker 4>I wish you weren't doing that, but like love you anyways. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>And I think that's the best thing that I could
<v Speaker 4>ask for.
<v Speaker 3>It's another gift that death gave you.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of strange how there's beauty in that.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>So what would you say to someone who's curious about
<v Speaker 2>working and porn but feels held back by the shame
<v Speaker 2>or stigma.
<v Speaker 4>I think that you just have to figure out what
<v Speaker 4>you're willing to accept with your own life and what
<v Speaker 4>you're willing to put up with. If you can't handle
<v Speaker 4>people occasionally telling you that what you're doing is wrong
<v Speaker 4>and that you're terrible person, or you're a whore, or
<v Speaker 4>you're detrimental to society or whatever, or if you can't
<v Speaker 4>tolerate perhaps losing a few friends or a few siblings,
<v Speaker 4>and yeah, don't do it. To be honest, don't do it.
<v Speaker 4>But if you can and it's something you really love
<v Speaker 4>and you want to make something of it, go for it.
<v Speaker 4>Don't let anything holds you back.
<v Speaker 2>How do you deal with the online trolls and the
<v Speaker 2>negative feedback that you may get.
<v Speaker 4>I'm not great at it, I'll be honest, I'm not
<v Speaker 4>the best at it. I've been fortunate in my career
<v Speaker 4>that I haven't dealt with too many trolls. I'll get
<v Speaker 4>hateful comments here and there. I get more irritated when whoever,
<v Speaker 4>like if somebody else posting something or if it I
<v Speaker 4>just get more irritated when the poster engages with that
<v Speaker 4>troll comment and continues it on. That's what bothers me
<v Speaker 4>over anything, because it's like now you're leading controls, you're
<v Speaker 4>feeding the trolls, and then more trolls are going to come.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>I think it's just better to delete, block and not
<v Speaker 4>deal with it. Yeah, And I try to remind myself
<v Speaker 4>that the more hate I get, it generally means that's
<v Speaker 4>the better I'm doing.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, absolutely, I you know, I remember, like I
<v Speaker 2>collab you know on Instagram.
<v Speaker 3>You can collab with people, right, Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I had Adriana chut Chick on It's you know,
<v Speaker 2>a huge name, huge following, and I collabed with her
<v Speaker 2>on a clip from this podcast, and so obviously I
<v Speaker 2>saw all the comments that she would get and.
<v Speaker 3>Holy shit, they were like death, like you should.
<v Speaker 2>Die, like you like I was just reading, you know,
<v Speaker 2>I didn't realize like how much you know, like the
<v Speaker 2>kind of vitual that she got was shocking to me.
<v Speaker 3>And she's such a nice person. She's just out there
<v Speaker 3>like living her life like you know, sucking dick.
<v Speaker 2>Like having fun second dick and having fun like let
<v Speaker 2>the girl like do what she wants, Like what is
<v Speaker 2>she doing to you exactly?
<v Speaker 4>It was just.
<v Speaker 3>Crazy to me.
<v Speaker 4>It was like you wouldn't say that to her if
<v Speaker 4>she was sitting in front of you.
<v Speaker 3>No, you definitely wouldn't.
<v Speaker 4>No. Yeah, it was just crazy.
<v Speaker 2>And you know that's when I kind of realized like
<v Speaker 2>how much you know, somebody's you know, more popular porn
<v Speaker 2>stars get and just kind of give me like a
<v Speaker 2>newfound respect for what they have to deal with.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it happened to me very Actually, this week a
<v Speaker 4>different podcast was on was released and the comment section
<v Speaker 4>was just horrendous. It was the I think this is
<v Speaker 4>maybe like the third podcast so I've done maybe, so
<v Speaker 4>like outside of like pro shoots or me posting my
<v Speaker 4>own things, I don't really deal with other people's fan
<v Speaker 4>bases or their comments. But with this one it was
<v Speaker 4>so bad. It was like every other comment was horrible,
<v Speaker 4>and it wasn't about what I was saying, because I
<v Speaker 4>understand it was about what I'm saying, but it was
<v Speaker 4>like it was mostly just about my eye was really
<v Speaker 4>what it was about. I'm like, okay, I just pick
<v Speaker 4>us something a little more clever than something right on
<v Speaker 4>my face.
<v Speaker 2>But was it a podcast that isn't like usually about
<v Speaker 2>the adult industry.
<v Speaker 4>No, it usually is.
<v Speaker 2>Because sometimes, like when you go, I have found when
<v Speaker 2>I've done podcasts that are not like about the adult industry,
<v Speaker 2>and so it goes to another audience that is not
<v Speaker 2>generally engaged in adult They're just like.
<v Speaker 3>What is this cheat on the camera?
<v Speaker 4>You know what I mean?
<v Speaker 2>That's where I get the most money hate. Don't get
<v Speaker 2>me wrong, I have plenty of hate on my YouTube channel.
<v Speaker 2>You will probably get negative comments on my YouTube channel,
<v Speaker 2>like I there's gonna be right.
<v Speaker 3>They're gonna be there.
<v Speaker 4>See. I think it was from Facebook, because I know
<v Speaker 4>I'm never on Facebook with that, and I think because
<v Speaker 4>they posted on Facebook and then it like pulled in these.
<v Speaker 2>I we post on Facebook too. I gotta tell you,
<v Speaker 2>I don't ever read them, so I don't know what's
<v Speaker 2>on there. But yeah, face, yeah, Facebook is pretty I
<v Speaker 2>think it's pretty bad.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>I stopped going on there after.
<v Speaker 3>Like, yeah, don't read the comments.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I just don't try not too.
<v Speaker 3>That's my that's my advice.
<v Speaker 4>Lesson learned this week.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, definitely.
<v Speaker 2>What are your favorite fetishes or fantasies to play out
<v Speaker 2>on camera?
<v Speaker 4>I feel like I'm a very boring porn star because
<v Speaker 4>I don't have like a direct fetish that I'm crazy about.
<v Speaker 4>I just really like crimal, passionate sex, Like I love
<v Speaker 4>a hand of my throat, in my hair and just
<v Speaker 4>looking at each other's eyes and just really going at it,
<v Speaker 4>which I don't know what you would call that fetish,
<v Speaker 4>but that's just what I love. Like, I just love
<v Speaker 4>to feel that that person really wants to be there
<v Speaker 4>and just going along with just having fun.
<v Speaker 3>I just like that. You just love like passion and intimacy. Yeah, yeah,
<v Speaker 3>that makes sense.
<v Speaker 2>I get that any particular kinds of shoots that you like, Like,
<v Speaker 2>do you prefer gonzo or features?
<v Speaker 4>Oh? I like features? I do.
<v Speaker 3>Do you like the acting?
<v Speaker 4>I do. I'm a big theater kid, right, so I
<v Speaker 4>like long days on set. It doesn't bother me as
<v Speaker 4>long as we're doing stuff. I could be there twelve hours, happy,
<v Speaker 4>no problem. I just love the creative drive behind features,
<v Speaker 4>the energy of a there's so much excitement between the
<v Speaker 4>actors the crew. I love the camaraderie between being on
<v Speaker 4>set with those same people, like for four days. It's
<v Speaker 4>a lot of fun. Yeah, and I love seeing the
<v Speaker 4>creativity flowing.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>That's a great thing about working in porn versus working
<v Speaker 2>in mainstream is that because we're such a small industry
<v Speaker 2>and we work so frequently, generally directors have like their
<v Speaker 2>same crew members that they work with all the time,
<v Speaker 2>so it's kind of like it really is like a family.
<v Speaker 2>Like you'll see the same people over and over and
<v Speaker 2>over again, so you kind of end up bonding like
<v Speaker 2>with the crew members and it feels very familiar, and
<v Speaker 2>it feels and eventually you get to know everyone, whereas
<v Speaker 2>the mainstream usually that you are like as a director
<v Speaker 2>or you know, in production or makeup or whatever. You
<v Speaker 2>generally like, it's such a big industry. You're rotating and
<v Speaker 2>you're getting paired with different You're very rarely working with
<v Speaker 2>like the same crew, you know, maybe like some key
<v Speaker 2>people depending on.
<v Speaker 3>Where you're at.
<v Speaker 4>What.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like, I mean if you're a Spielberg, obviously, like
<v Speaker 2>you get to like have your DP and like all
<v Speaker 2>those key people. But if you're working in general mainstream,
<v Speaker 2>like you know, day to day, you're working with like
<v Speaker 2>people you've never met before.
<v Speaker 4>I forget that TP means something totally different. Yeah, means
<v Speaker 4>stream like DP. Why would they be doing that? Oh?
<v Speaker 2>Wait, ATM also means automated teller machine as well, just
<v Speaker 2>so you.
<v Speaker 4>Know, so when I see that will make more sense. Ly,
<v Speaker 4>tractor of photography. I love those little things, like we.
<v Speaker 2>What Yeah, I know, I know, right, but yeah, that
<v Speaker 2>is like that is a nice thing. So what of
<v Speaker 2>all of the features that you have done so far,
<v Speaker 2>do you have a favorite.
<v Speaker 4>Oh, I mean I'm partial to my showcase. Okay, for sure,
<v Speaker 4>I have a bias to my showcase. Right now, I've
<v Speaker 4>done so many cool projects it's hard to pick one.
<v Speaker 3>I Well, before you go into that.
<v Speaker 2>Tell us about your showcase, because maybe somebody's watching this
<v Speaker 2>and they're like.
<v Speaker 3>Chess a showcase. I want to see it? Do you
<v Speaker 3>tell us about it?
<v Speaker 4>It's called The Red Door, okay, and you'll find it
<v Speaker 4>an elegant angel. It was released, I believe in December,
<v Speaker 4>and it's I'm so excited to talk about it because
<v Speaker 4>you'll see the theater kid me coming out with that one,
<v Speaker 4>because it's kind of a Mulon rouge, but like modern
<v Speaker 4>kind of version kind of that's brad it was. I
<v Speaker 4>love a good Mulon rouge, like art direction.
<v Speaker 3>I'm so into that.
<v Speaker 2>I've done some stuff like that, and those are like
<v Speaker 2>my favorite.
<v Speaker 4>I love it, yeah, because I love burlesque. I love
<v Speaker 4>like Western saloon girls. I love the nineteen twenty show girls.
<v Speaker 4>So I kind of like merged all these kind of
<v Speaker 4>styles together to create like not a time piece, because
<v Speaker 4>it's not exactly a time piece, but it's like a
<v Speaker 4>modernized version of a time piece to bring it kind
<v Speaker 4>of back between like the eighteen to the nineteen hundreds
<v Speaker 4>a little bit hm with some of the two thousands flair,
<v Speaker 4>of course, and it's about this theater owner who during
<v Speaker 4>the day, it is like a regular theater, and then
<v Speaker 4>she starts exploring her sexuality and starts making these sexual
<v Speaker 4>fantasies come to life until it turns into a sex
<v Speaker 4>at night, which is really awesome because the finale scene
<v Speaker 4>I'm gonna I'm getting ahead of myself. There's four scenes.
<v Speaker 4>The first scene is me with two of my regular
<v Speaker 4>patrons after the show, the regular show. Two guys, two guys,
<v Speaker 4>mister Charles Darra and mister Van Wild. Very good scene.
<v Speaker 3>We love those, We love both of them.
<v Speaker 4>Great guys. Oh the cast is so chef's kiss so good,
<v Speaker 4>so good. I'm so excited about every part of this.
<v Speaker 4>And then the second scene, I invite like this couple
<v Speaker 4>I used to work with at the old theater I
<v Speaker 4>was at, you know, Nathan Bronson and the beautiful Nicole
<v Speaker 4>Kit Nice. Such a good scene. It was my first
<v Speaker 4>time with Nicole Kit and the chemistry so beautiful, Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>so gorgeous. I met her on a different set and
<v Speaker 4>we just had good chemistry. We didn't work together, but
<v Speaker 4>we met and I was like, I need her in
<v Speaker 4>my showcase.
<v Speaker 2>I feel Liken Cole and I talked about her coming
<v Speaker 2>on this Podcastle col Cool I.
<v Speaker 3>Don't know why I'm blaming it on her. I probably
<v Speaker 3>have balzer. I'm the one who needs to up.
<v Speaker 4>Sorry, I got to get her in here. That was
<v Speaker 4>a beautiful scene. And then the third scene, which I loved.
<v Speaker 4>I was really excited about this because I did kind
<v Speaker 4>of a gender bender kind of thing. So it's the
<v Speaker 4>all girls scene with Scarlett, Alexis and Giselle Blanco. Gorgeous ladies.
<v Speaker 4>I found them these really beautiful beaded They're technically a
<v Speaker 4>belly dancer outfit, but it looks more showgirl and we
<v Speaker 4>made it in like nineteen twenty show girl. And then
<v Speaker 4>I'm in all black lingerie with a TuS jacket on
<v Speaker 4>and as top e, so I have because my idea
<v Speaker 4>was to make them feel stunning and beautiful and hot
<v Speaker 4>and sexy and wanting to be there, and I wanted
<v Speaker 4>to kind of be like the masculine energy that makes
<v Speaker 4>them stand out was my idea, and it just out
<v Speaker 4>so beautifully. I do wear a strap on, so it's
<v Speaker 4>a fun scene. And then the finale was so cool.
<v Speaker 4>I did my first three guys as I hadn't done
<v Speaker 4>that before, and they allowed me to do that for
<v Speaker 4>my showcase and there was a live audience. Oh wow, yeah,
<v Speaker 4>which is so cool. It was a lot of starting
<v Speaker 4>out models of belief from one oh one and they're
<v Speaker 4>all watching and I just want to give a shout
<v Speaker 4>out to them as well, because they were all day.
<v Speaker 4>They were there all day on set for like ten
<v Speaker 4>hours with me before we finally had the sex scene.
<v Speaker 4>And it was so cool to have like fifteen of
<v Speaker 4>my peers really sitting there watching me take my first
<v Speaker 4>three men. Yeah, that was really cool. Who were the guys?
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, I gotta say that. The guys are Kyle Mason,
<v Speaker 4>Isaiah Maxwell, and Vince Carter.
<v Speaker 3>Nice.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, nice, that's awesome. And you did you style all
<v Speaker 2>of the clothes?
<v Speaker 4>I did with the help of PILLI. She helped me
<v Speaker 4>with it, but I had kind of already had a
<v Speaker 4>lot of it from my wardrobe already.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>Because you have a great sense of style, like every time,
<v Speaker 2>Like i mean your outfit on the av and red carpet,
<v Speaker 2>I'd like still like it, like burned in my mind.
<v Speaker 3>It was such a rat outfit. I mean, you've got
<v Speaker 3>a great sense of style.
<v Speaker 4>Thank you. I love fashion so much. It's something thank you.
<v Speaker 4>I want to dive into it. For sure. But yeah,
<v Speaker 4>I had a lot of pieces in my closet and
<v Speaker 4>then I scoured the internet for what I wanted because
<v Speaker 4>I'm a very particular person when it comes to fashion,
<v Speaker 4>and I wanted it to not look cost to me.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>My biggest thing is it can't look cost to me.
<v Speaker 4>I don't like cheesy costume things. I think that she
<v Speaker 4>didn't order anything, Yandy, No, no, Muiltily. I did get
<v Speaker 4>some Amazon things, but you can't sell it's you say it.
<v Speaker 4>Maybe the white tux a little, but like.
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes Amazon comes out with some pretty like amazing stuff.
<v Speaker 4>I got really good stuff. Yeah, yeah, I did, with
<v Speaker 4>a little help of Pilly. I wrote the voiceover. I
<v Speaker 4>wrote the concept of it as well, and had a
<v Speaker 4>hand and casting. I really had a hand in a
<v Speaker 4>lot of it. But ow with mad creativity, he really
<v Speaker 4>took my concept and brought it to life. So I
<v Speaker 4>got to give him a lot of credit for just
<v Speaker 4>how beautifully well done it is.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>I mean it's all about your crew, right, Like you
<v Speaker 2>need good people around you to bring that vision to life.
<v Speaker 3>For sure.
<v Speaker 2>You said in an interview last year that you really
<v Speaker 2>wanted to start shooting scenes with trans performers have you
<v Speaker 2>been able to do that yet.
<v Speaker 4>Yes, I have one scene. I would love to have more.
<v Speaker 4>I got to work with the beautiful Emma Rose.
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, she's so stunning.
<v Speaker 4>She's so gorgeous. Yeah, I was very fortunate. We had
<v Speaker 4>a lot of chemistry. It was like a panty sniffing
<v Speaker 4>fetish thing, so we're just like eating each other's panties
<v Speaker 4>before we eat each other. And I had a lot
<v Speaker 4>of fun.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so beautiful, She's great, So beautiful.
<v Speaker 3>How is working in porn affected your sex drive?
<v Speaker 4>Porn has affected my sex drive for sure. It really
<v Speaker 4>depends on how many scenes I'm doing in a month.
<v Speaker 4>Let's you know, I am not that sexual anymore outside
<v Speaker 4>of work, just because I kind of get that fulfillment
<v Speaker 4>on set, so I'm not super horny outside of work.
<v Speaker 4>But it is also opened up my sexuality because I
<v Speaker 4>came into the industry maybe having fucked seven to ten people,
<v Speaker 4>and I wanted to use the industry as a way
<v Speaker 4>to explore my sexuality. So as much as it's like
<v Speaker 4>made me content sexually, it's also opened my sexuality up,
<v Speaker 4>which is great.
<v Speaker 3>How's dating for you being in the adult industry? Is
<v Speaker 3>it hard? Are you even trying.
<v Speaker 4>I've been with the same man for three years. Oh okay, yeah,
<v Speaker 4>so not too hard, not too hard. Yeah. I use
<v Speaker 4>in the industry, which makes it easier.
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. So he understand the difference
<v Speaker 2>between like love.
<v Speaker 4>And sex, Yes, definitely.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that can be a hard distinction for a lot
<v Speaker 2>of people. What do you like to do to unwind
<v Speaker 2>after a long day set?
<v Speaker 4>I sit in my uber and decompress, where like the
<v Speaker 4>thirty minutes it takes me to get back to my place,
<v Speaker 4>and then I smoke a joint and I might just
<v Speaker 4>like scroll aimlessly, or I'll watch something, but usually just
<v Speaker 4>a joint and some peace are quiet, and then I
<v Speaker 4>get perked back up and then I'm fine.
<v Speaker 2>How are you managing work life balance? Do you struggle
<v Speaker 2>with that? Do you struggle with taking time off, taking
<v Speaker 2>time for yourself versus like nose to the grindstone working
<v Speaker 2>all the time?
<v Speaker 4>I do. I very much a nose to the grindstone.
<v Speaker 4>I like to work. I think I have a problem
<v Speaker 4>with like letting my brain wander, like if I have
<v Speaker 4>something to do, then you know, I'm happy. I've maybe
<v Speaker 4>had four or five days at home since the beginning
<v Speaker 4>of March because I've been just constantly traveling, working, flying around.
<v Speaker 4>I'm not great at balancing it, but I know that
<v Speaker 4>it's very important for me to figure out how to
<v Speaker 4>do that, and hopefully I'll have a better answer next time. No.
<v Speaker 2>I mean that's a great, honest answer, because I got
<v Speaker 2>to tell you, like I, Yeah, I am not good
<v Speaker 2>at it either.
<v Speaker 3>And I'm forty six.
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. I love it very hard. Yeah, it is hard. Yeah,
<v Speaker 4>but I enjoy working I do. It's something I'm passionate about.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.
<v Speaker 4>I realized the take after my dad. I'm like, Oh,
<v Speaker 4>I become my dad, haven't I happens to us all
<v Speaker 4>we turn into our parents.
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, well 'tavia.
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much for coming on. It's been such
<v Speaker 2>a pleasure getting to know you. Can you tell everyone
<v Speaker 2>where they can find you online?
<v Speaker 3>Please?
<v Speaker 4>Yes, you can find me on Instagram at x dot
<v Speaker 4>red Clouds, or you can find me on Twitter at
<v Speaker 4>Octavia x read and you can find the link to
<v Speaker 4>all the other fun sites if you just go to
<v Speaker 4>either of those pages.
<v Speaker 2>Fantastic, and we are going to do a little Q
<v Speaker 2>and A with miss Octavia. My Patreon members sent in questions.
<v Speaker 2>You can get that at Patreon dot com, slash Holly
<v Speaker 2>Randall and filtered, where you can also get access to
<v Speaker 2>the entire uncensored version of this interview. I've had to
<v Speaker 2>make modifications on some of my videos here on YouTube
<v Speaker 2>because I got a little slap on the wrist for
<v Speaker 2>being too uncensored.
<v Speaker 3>Just put it that way.
<v Speaker 2>You can also find me on Instagram and on x
<v Speaker 2>at Holly Randall. Go to hollylinks dot com to get
<v Speaker 2>access to all of my platforms. Go to xweek dot
<v Speaker 2>io to get early access to the next generation creator platform,
<v Speaker 2>where immersive tech will bring creators and fans together in
<v Speaker 2>a way that has never been done before. Thank you
<v Speaker 2>guys so much for watching, and I will see you
<v Speaker 2>on the next one.