The One About IVF, Twins, and Girl Dads with Kelly Stafford

00:00:05
Speaker 1: Hello, my loves, welcome back to give them La La podcast is La La Kent. I've got my right hand tea tea here and a very a very special guest, very someone who if if Ramnation is listening, they're gonna be Is that what they're called, Kelly, Oh the Ramilly what they're called?

00:00:25
Speaker 2: Yes, I have Kelly Stafford here, and I'm freaking out because let me tell you why. When I was thinking about the direction of the pod and wanting to have people on, especially women who have gone through fertility journeys, who are you know, mothers to four girls, I was really drawn to that because I thought, holy shit, that could be my future.

00:00:51
Speaker 1: Give me the window to look into.

00:00:53
Speaker 2: But you live under a rock more than I do when it comes to what's going on in the world, and like pop culture.

00:00:58
Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, girl, I'm not.

00:01:01
Speaker 3: I have a podcast myself and my co host is very much into the pop culture.

00:01:04
Speaker 1: But I am.

00:01:05
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm too busy. I don't know. I don't know what's going on in the world, which is horrible to say. I honestly feel like sometimes like I really need to dive in just a little bit. So when people are carrying on a conversation. Maybe I can participate.

00:01:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know you're in good company here, Okay, good I find out things. I'll go to my friends and be like, did you hear prime example, I've talked about this before, but I said to my friend, I was like, have you heard of this army hammer who like has a cannibal fetish? And they're like, that happened six months ago. Yes, I'm like, it just popped up on my feet like today, like recently.

00:01:40
Speaker 1: I actually knew about that one.

00:01:41
Speaker 2: This was a couple of years ago, but because six months had passed since. But I was like, that's me in a nutshell of like finding things out after everyone has talked about it, no one cares, and then I've officially entered the chat when no one's there anymore.

00:01:57
Speaker 3: I mean, I give you a lot of credit to carry on a full podcast without really annoying what's going on.

00:02:03
Speaker 1: We just know the headlines. I've never thought of a damn headline. I'll tell you what, I hate a headline.

00:02:08
Speaker 2: But you know that's okay, you know what, you have a reason to hate to hate a headline. So your co host for your podcast it's called The Morning After with Kelly and Hank. Yep, Hank is like your guys band, like your gay husband.

00:02:20
Speaker 1: Yep, sure is.

00:02:21
Speaker 3: He's from Detroit, Michigan, where we spent my husband, I spent twelve years. He was like my only friend in Michigan basically, so we got really tight. He and he got married now recently divorced and has a little girl through adoption.

00:02:35
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, how old is the little girl?

00:02:38
Speaker 3: She is just from six?

00:02:40
Speaker 1: She's five or six okay? Age?

00:02:42
Speaker 3: Yes, and got her since very little and honestly meant to be his daughter because she has his mannerisms all.

00:02:48
Speaker 1: In the place. Yes. Isn't that so wild? It is crazy to see.

00:02:53
Speaker 3: I mean, one, she doesn't shut up, which is very much Hank, and I love him so much for that. But just everything she does, you just see him in her, which is wild.

00:03:01
Speaker 1: That makes me so thrilled.

00:03:03
Speaker 2: I don't know what higher power you believe in, but when it comes to adoption. I have people who are close to me who have children through adoption, and it is so crazy because I'm like, literally, these are not biologically your parents, and you look so much like them, you have personality traits.

00:03:21
Speaker 1: It's just like this was intended by god, I completely agree.

00:03:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I always thought I was this little girl was meant to be yours.

00:03:29
Speaker 1: That makes it so? Is he still in Detroit? That he's still in Detroit? Yeah? You guys record via zoom? Yeah? Yeah remote? How does that? Do you like that? No? I don't.

00:03:39
Speaker 3: I'm trying to get him to move here. But uh, he's pretty settled. He's born and raised Michigan, so he's pretty settled there. Well, the headlines are, you're pretty settled in LA For a minute. Now, let's go excited than you are you?

00:03:51
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, I really am.

00:03:53
Speaker 3: That was I mean, obviously what I wanted along and my husband wanted along. We didn't want to leave. He loves the Rams. So we're just pumped that one we're here and two it's over.

00:04:07
Speaker 4: Because because I want to ask you the mental stress that you went through until the signing and how you felt after he signed.

00:04:15
Speaker 3: Oh god, the relief I felt was pretty unreal.

00:04:19
Speaker 1: You know.

00:04:19
Speaker 3: You just you wake up every morning there's a new headline were talking about, like the headline, Yeah, there's a new headline of what rumor, what source is saying my husband's gonna be traded here, my husband's gonna be traded there, my husband's gonna stay. I mean, every day it was something different. And obviously we have four girls. Yeah, I would say if I didn't have those four girls, maybe this stress would have been a little less and I'd be like, okay whatever. Yeah, but having those little girls, you know, you have to plan, try to plan ahead.

00:04:50
Speaker 1: But with yeah, because you got a uproot.

00:04:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, well with this situation, you can't really plan ahead. And this is what happens in the end off al a lot that people don't understand, Like guys get traded randomly, guys get cut, you know, and these families are just having to pick up and move immediately, finding schools, finding activities for their kids, finding where to live, where to be that's close to the facility, but also in like a good area. I don't know, it's just it becomes a lot, and you tend to try to rely on those that are there, but you're new, so even finding those that are there can be.

00:05:22
Speaker 1: Tough within like the facility or within the team.

00:05:25
Speaker 3: So I honestly I tried to stay away from media, but I was telling you guys earlier, our TVs live on ESPN.

00:05:34
Speaker 1: Right of course, even if I turn it on and try to turn it really quickly. It's like you can't unsee what you can't see it. And we live in a day where like everything comes to our phones, so you know, I'm getting it's almost reading your mind.

00:05:46
Speaker 2: So even if you don't want to see it, it's like, I know what you're thinking.

00:05:50
Speaker 1: So here's everything.

00:05:51
Speaker 3: Yes, if you typed in rams at all in the past year, I felt like you were just fed these headlines, right, So it was it was tough to live under a rock. I wish I could have for that time period. But honestly, so so happy and relieved that we are here to stay.

00:06:07
Speaker 1: We're thrilled about it. I mean I I could like, again, you get.

00:06:13
Speaker 3: That news and you see how one happy your husband is, and then I'm like, let's get some cocktails, let's sell totally. I am ready to just let loose because holy hell.

00:06:26
Speaker 1: Of course, how long is he set to be here?

00:06:29
Speaker 3: Just so he's at a one year he's old.

00:06:32
Speaker 1: Yes, as.

00:06:36
Speaker 4: Careers, it's up to him and yeah.

00:06:40
Speaker 3: It's and it's a it's it's you know, the one year deals are for him because if he wants to decide, well, my husband commits to something he commits. So if he committed to two years, even if he couldn't barely you know, move, he would play that second year, right, even though it wouldn't be good for him or the team or whatnot. So he felt like one year was important and what he could manage and just go buy your right.

00:07:03
Speaker 1: You're by your basis from here on out.

00:07:04
Speaker 3: What is old in the NFL twenty eight Yeah, but the really I mean yeah, quarterbacks obviously can play longer. Quarterbacks, kickers, punters, long snappers.

00:07:15
Speaker 1: That's really okay.

00:07:16
Speaker 4: You're looking at a thirty three thirty four retirement, right usually.

00:07:20
Speaker 3: And that's like a very very good at NFL.

00:07:22
Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow, people they play in the league three years, four years, and then you know, you get the new.

00:07:27
Speaker 4: Dude out of out of college. It's a revolving door. Like what's that show on Hard Knocks?

00:07:32
Speaker 1: Hard Knocks? Yeah, if you haven't seen Hard Knocks, I've seen Hard Knocks.

00:07:35
Speaker 4: You look into how hellish that life, yeah.

00:07:38
Speaker 3: Can be. And that's why if you don't put the and this is what you don't put the effort forward, someone's ready to take your spot real quick.

00:07:44
Speaker 1: Of course.

00:07:45
Speaker 3: So I mean in this league and yees, so he is. I don't like to say I'm gonna say older. I'm going to rephrase it.

00:07:50
Speaker 2: I was older and older, yes, so still playing like a champ. I was watching because Easton had it on the TV, the combine, and You're right, I was watching how many players were there just like showing their stuff off, And I'm like, this is a lot of people to be doing this, and I can't imagine that there's that many people retiring.

00:08:16
Speaker 1: It was just wild. I'm not great at math, but I was doing the math and it wasn't mathing.

00:08:20
Speaker 3: Got it. I would say, uh, there's not many people are retiring, but there are people that are phased out there. It is. Yeah, And that's just the way the way the NFL wor it's every professional sport.

00:08:31
Speaker 1: When did you guys get together?

00:08:33
Speaker 3: We met right before I started my freshman year of college.

00:08:37
Speaker 1: Oh wow, And where'd you go to school?

00:08:39
Speaker 3: We both went to University of Georgia, so that's where I was born and raised. That's a bulldog, right, that's a bulldog.

00:08:44
Speaker 1: Let me tell you.

00:08:46
Speaker 2: My great uncle wrote all of the books about the rivalries between Georgia and Georgia Tech.

00:08:53
Speaker 1: No way, yes, wait, Why where did your uncle go Georgia?

00:08:57
Speaker 3: You went to Georgia.

00:08:58
Speaker 2: Yes, and my mother's family they come from Georgia, so big southern family, very into football. So I'm gonna have to tell my mom that that you're a bulldog.

00:09:09
Speaker 1: Wait are they still in Georgia. They're still in Georgia.

00:09:11
Speaker 2: Some of them have trickled into North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee. But Georgia is where like every family reunion is held.

00:09:18
Speaker 3: Did you grow up in Georgia?

00:09:20
Speaker 1: I did not. No, I grew up in Salt Lake City. Okay.

00:09:23
Speaker 2: My mom's dad was in the army, so she kind of bounced around, got it, Okay, Georgia. Then they moved to Japan all all the things. Texas ended up in Salt Lake That's where we're from. But everyone has like that cute accent southern bell.

00:09:38
Speaker 1: Okay, so keep going. Sorry, I didn't mean to go on a team.

00:09:40
Speaker 2: No.

00:09:41
Speaker 3: No, I know as you're talking about Southern accents, like, I feel like I missed mind.

00:09:45
Speaker 1: The only thing I have left is y'all, and I try to really drawl that whenever I'm like y'all.

00:09:51
Speaker 3: And my my grandmother always like, where did your southern accent. Go, I don't know.

00:09:56
Speaker 1: We got to get you back there for a minute.

00:09:58
Speaker 3: It's true. I haven't been back in Wow, I need to get back. But anyways, Yes, Matthew and I met at University of Georgia. He was played football, I cheered. We it was a very college relationship, love hate all the way through, and then you know, at the end of it turned out we wanted to give it a real shot, so we did, and here we are with four girls later.

00:10:20
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

00:10:21
Speaker 3: Wow, Yeah, it was.

00:10:23
Speaker 1: It was. It was a it was an interesting dynamic at the beginning.

00:10:28
Speaker 3: And I've told this story and there were headlines all about it, so I'm not gonna tell it again. But you know what, it was everything that happened needed to happen for us to get to where we are today, and I truly believe that. So it was it was fun. Looking back, it was really fun and glad it ended up the way it ended up.

00:10:47
Speaker 1: You know, that is a tip.

00:10:50
Speaker 2: I mean, you ended up being the wife of an NFL player. But when you think about that time in anyone's life in a relationship, it is nothing but trying to figure out who you are. You're on your own life.

00:11:04
Speaker 1: Journey and the whole it's it's the most simple thing. Are we willing to evolve together?

00:11:11
Speaker 3: Yes, that's a great way to put it, because honestly, when I went to school, when we were both there, I mean it's obvious when you're in college is the first time you're without your parents.

00:11:19
Speaker 1: And I was in a very long term relationship in high.

00:11:22
Speaker 3: School, so I know, yeah, it's like six years. He was great, but long time, and that's kind of what I knew, like relationships and being watched by my parents. And then you go to college and it's like whoa, Yeah, you know, it's pretty totally yeah, this is fantastic. But you're right, like I was trying to figure out my own way. And then even before I started school, this little, this man, this boy walked into my life that I wasn't expecting, and I wasn't I really wasn't.

00:11:51
Speaker 1: Expecting to fall for him.

00:11:53
Speaker 3: But he was so adorable and so witty, very smart, just smart h and could constantly make me laugh. So I let my guard down a little bit and thank goodness, because here we are now.

00:12:05
Speaker 1: So that makes me thrilled for you. Thank you.

00:12:08
Speaker 2: You know, it is so crazy because in this day and age, I feel like, if you if you did not meet your husband in college or high school where they know you to your very core before all of the bright and shiny objects entered, it is hard to have a marriage last that long. I look at my parents, they were together for forty years. The reason it ended was because my dad died.

00:12:37
Speaker 1: So sorry, you wanted to get out real bad.

00:12:41
Speaker 2: She's like, I don't believe in divorce, so I'm fucking out of here, kidding. But I'm like, they do not make marriages like that anymore. And I think because so many people are not willing to evolve together.

00:12:56
Speaker 3: That's I mean, that's an incredible way to put it. I will say, too, like my parents have been together since eighth grade and they are still together. My dad hasn't found us out yet, so they're still together. But it is very true. And I will say, Matthew and I, marriage is hard. And at the beginning, you know, when I moved up there pretty quickly to Detroit, I actually finished my college up there, I didn't even finish at Georgia and lived with him for a while to make sure that one this would work in two that I could handle. Kind of being the significant other of an NFL quarterback. Because with that, and I've talked about my podcast, you tend to lose yourself. You're always someone's wife, okay, or someone's girlfriend or someone's fiance, and you have to be strong enough to kind of work through that. Now, I will say my podcast helped me work through that. But that was, however, many twelve years in Matthew's career, Wow, where I felt like I kind of I lost myself at the beginning, trying to I was so young. I think I was nineteen when I moved up to Michigan.

00:14:07
Speaker 1: Wow, that is very young.

00:14:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, baby, yeah, And I was trying to be everything that people were telling me to be when it came to an NFL girlfriend, fiance, whatever, and then I became a mom and all of a sudden, that was my title. So it's it was really good for me one to move up there to make sure like this relationshi because we were in college, right, which is fun, but when you get to real life, like that's when shit, you know, can get hard. And so moving up there, you know, we had our good times and bad times for sure, and really had to work through because at one point I remember telling him, you know, you have to make me happy. I'm not happy, and he was like, you can't physically put that solely on me, like you have to find your own happiness. And I like, I want to be happy with you, like you know, but I can't make you happy solely myself.

00:14:55
Speaker 1: And I remember that conversation very vividly.

00:14:57
Speaker 3: It was like two years into it.

00:14:58
Speaker 2: I feel like that would be like taking a bull it because it's such a fact, right, Yeah, when someone says that to you, it's so hard to hear.

00:15:06
Speaker 3: But it's completely right. And again, Matthew is very wise, like he's just he's just honestly, it's annoying how smart it is and how much shit he knows. I went to nursing school, I was a nurse, and I swear he knows more about help, like the inside of our body.

00:15:20
Speaker 4: When you're in that league and stuff, you just start obtaining everything.

00:15:23
Speaker 3: I feel like we watched Jeopardy and it's I mean, you know everything. That's Son.

00:15:29
Speaker 4: By far the smartest, with like the plays that they have to remember the cadence of defenses like that.

00:15:34
Speaker 1: You have to be smart. Yeah, I agree fits.

00:15:38
Speaker 3: It, yes, but it's annoying, so it really is. I mean, I I love the Wheel of Fortune. That's my game.

00:15:44
Speaker 1: And then you know Jeopardy is his. So we sound old, don't we.

00:15:49
Speaker 4: I was just about to say Jeopardy, you know, STD, I totally relate.

00:15:54
Speaker 2: I have a home in Palm Springs where I'm like, I'm not paying for a cable, but they give you that like free TV where it's just like old games like that. And I was in bed the other night doing a large print word search no watching Jeopardy, and I was like.

00:16:09
Speaker 3: Oh my, what the fuck is.

00:16:11
Speaker 1: Happeningels like I think. So, I mean, I don't know that we're happy. I guess I hate going out. I know it is happiness.

00:16:20
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, we sit down, our girls watched Jeopardy with him, and it's adorable because they you know, when he gets it wrong, they let him have it right, you know, they cheer him on. But no, I'm not gonna lie. We feel now that I just say that out loud, it's it's pretty old. But no, he's always been really wise. But again, moving out there, we had I tried to figure it out, and marriage is marriage. Even when we didn't have kids, we went through our struggles. That was the infertility stuff, and I want to talk about that. I mean, I didn't think that. I didn't think we were going to make it through that, and that was very early on in our marriage.

00:16:59
Speaker 2: I have never struggled with fertility issues, but people very close to me have and that is something so personal and even though like you're in it with your partner, and I don't know if you felt this way. I'm only relaying what women have said to me. You feel like your body is failing you something that is supposed to happen for a woman. Why isn't it happening? What is going on here where you are not? Like, my body is not showing up for me right now?

00:17:26
Speaker 1: Is that how you feel? Oh? My gosh.

00:17:28
Speaker 3: We actually had a charity event for a fertility charity Saturday last Saturday night, and I got up and spoke and I said, I love that we're starting to talk about it more, because when I went through it, all I could feel was alone and a failure. Like I just felt like what you said, what your body is naturally supposed to do, it just wasn't doing. And when it comes to putting stress stress on a relationship, you know all of a sudden, you are trying to figure out when you're ovulating. Then you're basically scheduling set. I mean, there is nothing worse in a marriage than having to do that, because then, to be honest, I think the men just feel like they're getting used right for that moment, and when it doesn't work, you know, all the emotions for the woman are there, and I just feel like you don't want to talk about You don't want to talk because everything relays back to that with your husband. When you start talking, you sit down, you're talking about football, and all of a sudden, we're back into well, we might have to have sex next week, like at this day, at this time, and everything just goes back to it and it just starts drowning both of you. And then when you actually go through the process, you know everyone's doing what they need to do when it comes to you, like he has to go to the clinic and give his sample and writ these things, and it just it surrounds you and it's everything you think and everything you talk about, and so then you don't really like have anything else to decide.

00:18:53
Speaker 1: I don't know, it just really separate. For us. It was really hard because he had football.

00:18:58
Speaker 3: And I had my infortition journey and that's kind of where we lied for a year and a half two years wow. And so that was again that was really really tough on the marriage, and we were very newly married. I knew I was gonna have issues going into it though, Okay, I was aware of.

00:19:15
Speaker 2: That, and so you know, but I think even then, Yeah, you sit there and you pray for the miracle, one miracle, one mirror. Is it just takes one time.

00:19:24
Speaker 1: One time? Yeah, and it just didn't happen.

00:19:28
Speaker 2: So then, at what point in time did you say we're going to take the pressure some air out of the tires and let's go the IVF route.

00:19:35
Speaker 1: How long had it been of you guys try?

00:19:37
Speaker 3: It had been me tracking my ovulation because that's when I consider like really trying.

00:19:42
Speaker 1: Okay, about a year and a half. So it's a long time to wait for a baby. It feels like an eternity, Like I mean.

00:19:49
Speaker 3: Every month you're getting that negative like you just or you just have your you know, sorry, brother.

00:19:56
Speaker 1: He's in a house full of womens.

00:19:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, so then like every month you're feeling again like a failure. So a year and a half feels like a very long time, and I know there's people that go way longer, and there's the financial burden. And luckily for Matthew and I, we didn't have to consider that part. And I couldn't imagine having that stress on top of everything else.

00:20:14
Speaker 2: Well that's the other thing is sometimes IVF is your only option to having a larger chance of getting pregnant. But IVF, let's be honest, that is a luxury to be able to afford something like that. So this fundraiser that you had over the weekend, what was that for?

00:20:32
Speaker 3: So it gives They're actually a company based out of Michigan, but they wanted to have legs in California.

00:20:37
Speaker 1: So we did a gala gala, I don't know which one.

00:20:40
Speaker 3: I don't either, Okay, great, perfect, So we did one of those on Saturday to raise money for people in actually California to get grants to go through infertility services. So anything you can think of IVF, IUI surrogacy like acupunchers supposedly is like this new and.

00:21:00
Speaker 1: I love accupyture, so firm believer in it.

00:21:03
Speaker 3: Okay, So there you go. So it just covers like a broad base of things.

00:21:06
Speaker 1: But that is so incredible that you guys did that.

00:21:09
Speaker 3: Oh thank you. This is well it was you know, I am I'm not the founder of this, I'm the board chair, but she, Lauren is the founder and.

00:21:18
Speaker 1: She's incredible, amazing.

00:21:20
Speaker 3: So we raised a good amount of money and hoping, you know that. And it's fun to see the babies. We call them Chosen babies because the charity is called Chosen Fertility, so we call them Chosen babies. And it's pretty awesome to see these families that finally have the dream of you had a kid. Yeah, so that's pretty awesome.

00:21:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds amazing. Yeah.

00:21:38
Speaker 2: You know, my second again, I did not have fertility issues. My second baby was brought into the world conceived via i U I.

00:21:47
Speaker 1: Oh really she was okay.

00:21:49
Speaker 2: So I went the donor route for my second baby because I was so traumatized. You know, the fertility clinic that I went to, they're used to people coming in either having fertility issues or it's same sex couples that are getting a donor a surrogate, and so you they still put me through all of the things that they put a woman who's struggling with fertility, you know, all the testing going in sorry Easton doing the cervix thing. He knows way more than he probably wants to know. But he is the best uncle. We have a lot of co parents in the house.

00:22:31
Speaker 3: Honestly, it's the best.

00:22:33
Speaker 1: It is the best.

00:22:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I am very jealous of that none of my family lives near me.

00:22:37
Speaker 4: No, there's times where like I'm just in the a du and I'm like, I missed those peanuts, so I'll just walk over and I'll just grab one and go and hang out.

00:22:44
Speaker 1: A lot of chaos. But yes, I did.

00:22:48
Speaker 2: I did the whole the whole bit that you know people that are women that struggle with fertility. So I think that is so incredible because it seems to me to be a larger amount of women every single year that are like, I need to talk about this and I can't imagine. I love that the conversation is being open because, like you said, I feel like it would be so isolating.

00:23:14
Speaker 1: It really is.

00:23:14
Speaker 3: And I truly love that it's become less of a taboo subject because I think the statistic is like one in six couples experience and fertility, so it is something that surrounds us and I feel like, the more we talk about it, the more it allows people to open up about it, and it's not so isolating.

00:23:30
Speaker 2: Right, you have someone that you can reach out to and know exactly what you're going through. Did you intend to have twins or was it like we're going for it, this is.

00:23:41
Speaker 1: A crazy thing.

00:23:43
Speaker 3: Our doctor told us we'd have a better chance with two, which obviously there is a better chance. There's also a lot of things, a lot of reasons they won't do that because you're immediately the highest pregnancy if you have twins, and there's more complications, and if you're really wanting a baby, sometimes carrying one is way safe and way easier. So we put two in due to some things that were going on with me, and so we we were aware that we could get twins. Now, the way we got twins was not how we expected. We walked in and the doctor was like, so, Matthew, like, what do you what do you want to want? What do you think you'll see in here? He's like, I mean, I hope a baby.

00:24:18
Speaker 1: I don't know.

00:24:19
Speaker 3: He's like, well, you have twins, which, like, again we're and at this point we're just ecstatic that there's baby.

00:24:26
Speaker 1: I mean now there's two totally.

00:24:28
Speaker 3: And I remember him like kind of going closer and then and then it made me nervous. He was kind of like trying to see and I was like, oh god, and he was like, well, you know what, these actually look identical, so don't look to see if the third of the other baby took. And I was like, you know, in my nursing state, going oh, go back to the mono dye twins. It was this mean and it meant that one of the eggs that had taken had split, okay, and so that gave me the identicals, and then there was a chance that that other egg took and that would give me triplets.

00:25:04
Speaker 1: Now I always say this, that was my boy. My boy was like I'm out of here, Like that one didn't take.

00:25:10
Speaker 3: They're gone. I don't know that. I didn't know the sexes when I put them in, but but in my mind I'm going, yeah, that was the boy.

00:25:16
Speaker 1: I like, I like where your head's at. Yeah, yeah, so that feels comforting to me. It was like, this seems like a lot. I'm gonna let you guys take this one.

00:25:24
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, you know. So it was we were we weren't expecting anything. But we did know there was a chance that we could have twins. We just didn't think we'd have identical twins. That is crazy to me. It was it is crazy, and it's crazy now to look at them. And honestly, I'm talking to one and I'm like, Chandler, you gotta do this. It's essential.

00:25:44
Speaker 1: I'm Sawyer and I'm like, nah, oh, really you every one.

00:25:48
Speaker 3: I mean, they go through phases and it's I cut one's hair really short for the teacher's sake and honestly for I mean I say it for it's for everybody's sake.

00:25:58
Speaker 1: But they go through stages.

00:26:00
Speaker 3: And over the past like year, they were kind of looking different, and now over the you know, the last three months, they have turned a corner to where everyone is struggling.

00:26:10
Speaker 2: Okay, to tell them apart, that is my dream that would be an identical twin.

00:26:15
Speaker 1: I would love that and make everyone so confused. I mean, to be honest, I told them, I said, listen, if one is good in math and one is good in English, Mommy's not gonna hate if you just switch for that class. Totally totally like, if you're not gonna math, guess what you're not gonna have a career in math. So why are we strug Why are we going to deal with that? You? Thank you? You know what.

00:26:39
Speaker 3: I'll take that. Thanks so much.

00:26:40
Speaker 1: Excellent.

00:26:41
Speaker 3: How did you come up with the names Chandler? The twins are Chandler and Sweyer. So Chandler is my brother's name. I told you all we were very close. I love this, Yes, so that is my brother's name. Sawyer Math you came up with and it was the first one that I liked that he came up with.

00:26:56
Speaker 1: So we did that. Do you have one that you can give us that you were like that he came up with it. You were like not happy?

00:27:01
Speaker 3: Ooh, you know what? God, it was so long ago.

00:27:06
Speaker 1: He liked really girly names, and I just.

00:27:09
Speaker 3: I will tell it. Well, I've told it, but I wanted I thought I was gonna have a boy mom, okay, oh boys, and so I was very much into the gender neutral names.

00:27:18
Speaker 1: Love it. I love the name, yes.

00:27:20
Speaker 3: So. And then Tyler or Hunter was our third. And always loved the name Hunter for a girl.

00:27:26
Speaker 1: I never love it.

00:27:27
Speaker 3: I never met like a not fun or unattractive Hunter. No, it's very like, it's so good, you know what? I mean, and then my last one, Tyler. She was named after a cousin of mine.

00:27:42
Speaker 1: That is so cute.

00:27:43
Speaker 2: So did you have these names picked out ready to go, whether it's a boy or a girl.

00:27:47
Speaker 1: This is happening. Yeah, So we didn't know with Tyler.

00:27:50
Speaker 3: What she was.

00:27:52
Speaker 1: Oh, you got surprised. We got surprised. How hard was that? You know find out? It was hard, But when you have three running around, I mean, time was by fast, time goes by. And then when she don't fit that doctor's appointment in anyway.

00:28:05
Speaker 3: They were and she came out and I had the same staff for every single one of my c sections. I had to see sections for each one, but same staff, same nurses, same doctor, same like pre nurse post house. Yes, one of my nurses came out of retirement. The post Uh what's it called? I see, this is where the nursing comes in. I don't remember what it's called, but you were exactly. You would know whatever it is whenever you have after you have your baby and you're in the hospital for a few days. That nurse actually came out of retirement and did to do our last baby.

00:28:36
Speaker 1: Wow, which was very sweet. I mean it was it was Michigan.

00:28:39
Speaker 3: You know, sports are a very big deal there, so we were it was amazing, We had amazing experiences.

00:28:44
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it says a lot about you guys for her to come out of retirement.

00:28:47
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, even if you love something, if someone's not nice, you're like, I don't, well.

00:28:52
Speaker 3: I appreciate it. But she's she's she was fantastic. I was so relieved when she said that she would come back. But I will say, Tyler, they pulled her out and they're like, do you want to know? And I was like, well, obviously now and they're like, it's a girl. Just like like not he wanted all girls?

00:29:11
Speaker 1: What? Really?

00:29:12
Speaker 3: He did not want a boy. That was one of attention in our marriage. I was like, I want all boys, and he did not want one boy. So he also didn't really want four kids.

00:29:21
Speaker 1: But here we are, So there's that, you know what he.

00:29:26
Speaker 3: He just knows and honestly, now that we have been parenting for this long and they're in sports, and how crazy parents are in sports, including myself, so I mean I can't not I mean, I'm I I'm competitive. So there's that.

00:29:40
Speaker 1: But a boy would have a lot of pressure to live like it it's.

00:29:44
Speaker 4: Like living under a name, yeah, and that you're expected.

00:29:48
Speaker 3: Of a lot. And even if he didn't want to play sports, they'd still be like, wait, your stuff was, kidd and you know you play the piano, do you know what I mean?

00:29:55
Speaker 1: I totally get that.

00:29:56
Speaker 3: So and I you know, even before, I was like, well, you don't need to worry because he's going to be more athletic than you anyways, because he's half of me totally. And he goes and here's the pressure already. The child isn't even in existence. And you're like, don't worry, he's gonna be more athletic. He's like, what if he doesn't want to be an athletes? He want to be an athlete?

00:30:14
Speaker 1: You know. So there, yeah, see this and this is this is me.

00:30:17
Speaker 3: And so immediately I started to see, especially now with my kids knowing what I know, when it comes to girls' sports and they're seven, the oldest are seven, and.

00:30:27
Speaker 1: It is is it intensely, it is so intense, It is beyond intense. What do they play? They play?

00:30:33
Speaker 3: They do gymnastics right now, they do competitive gymnastics, which hm hmm, soccer, basketball, and tennis.

00:30:41
Speaker 1: Oh, they are booked and busy well, and they know.

00:30:43
Speaker 3: You split it up per season totally, like well most kids don't.

00:30:48
Speaker 1: Now they like they backboard and they do year round, year round. That's a lot.

00:30:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so now I'm I told Matthew, I was like, I feel like our kids are behind in every sport because each sport we go to, these kids have been just playing it, playing playing it. If we had a boy, I don't know how I would handle that. So I don't like, I just think, you know, I would want to have him specialized, which I don't. I don't love in kids sports Like kids should be able to figure it.

00:31:11
Speaker 1: Out on their own, on their own total.

00:31:12
Speaker 3: Time to see if they even like sports and what sport they might like. And so it's it's a massive blessing that we did not have a boy.

00:31:22
Speaker 1: Massive like I am.

00:31:23
Speaker 3: I thank God every day for that because I.

00:31:25
Speaker 4: Was thinking Matthew was the one that was like somebody standing and being with me.

00:31:30
Speaker 1: Please he loves.

00:31:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, he loves being a girl.

00:31:33
Speaker 1: Dad.

00:31:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's like, that's that's really sweet of you to say. But he you know, it is something that he was meant to be too. I don't think he was meant to father a boy, and I don't. I definitely don't think I was meant to father a boy. Now that father mother a boy, definitely not father.

00:31:50
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know.

00:31:52
Speaker 2: Also, I feel like it's hard just seeing men in sports when they have sons who get to that age where they're about to be drafted, and even if they are good, they always get that well, I don't know that he would have made it if you weren't so and so son. There's literally not one aspect where there's not something that comes into question.

00:32:14
Speaker 3: It's like nepotism in the sports world.

00:32:16
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. It exists.

00:32:17
Speaker 2: It's alive and well, yeah, what sports do they prefer?

00:32:21
Speaker 1: Like are they are? The twins into the soccer most the gymnastics. That's pretty good.

00:32:27
Speaker 3: So the twins love soccer and basketball, which is good because they have a little like I can tell with their uh what they're they're more their dad's side. They're gonna have height, yeah, so, and they want to try volleyball, which I would love. But the little are the two younger ones I think are more my side, and they are with all I like, they love gymnastics.

00:32:50
Speaker 2: That freaks me out. My daughter loves gymnastics. You were a cheerleader, so you do what were you top of the pyramid?

00:32:57
Speaker 1: I won flips?

00:32:58
Speaker 3: I was, But you know why it freaks me out. Everything's changed so drastically that like it scares me for gymnastics, dance, cheer for like overall confidence in what they.

00:33:12
Speaker 1: Look like, got it, their bodies look like.

00:33:15
Speaker 3: And with the pressure we have from social media, I just fear that there's I don't know, I wouldn't be strong enough. I'm still not strong enough to handle all the criticism that gets thrown my way.

00:33:25
Speaker 1: But to be young and in those type.

00:33:27
Speaker 3: Of sports, you get criticism by just like showing up and you're in a leezard and you look different than you know what I mean?

00:33:33
Speaker 1: I do know what you mean, So like.

00:33:35
Speaker 3: I tend to want to get them out of that. In fact, that's like my threat because they love it so much. It's my threat when they're not doing so, I'm like, all right, we're gonna we're done. Gymnastics is over.

00:33:44
Speaker 1: Like we're done. A solid threat is part of surviving as parents.

00:33:47
Speaker 3: I listen, I'm not beneath a threat, Okay, I'm really or bribing, not beneath any of those two.

00:33:54
Speaker 1: You're an uncle. Yeah, you're a briber, of course. And then I tell I mean, it's great. I'm jealous.

00:34:02
Speaker 2: I know you're a briber. And I tell them just like I tell my mom because we all live together. She's like, I'm giving her this because i'm her GG. I'm like, it doesn't work when you're with her every day. That card can only come into play when you see them, you know, once a week, once a month, because grandma lives in a different state.

00:34:19
Speaker 1: Not every day. It's a lot.

00:34:22
Speaker 3: That would make that would that would make me a little upset. My parents, my grandparents are their grandparents. My parents and Matthew's parents don't live anywhere close Dallas and Georgia, Dallas and Atlanta, so whenever they coming down, they are donuts. They were in town last weekend for this event. Saturday, my dad got them donuts in the morning, took them for pancakes for chocolate, and pancakes for lunch, and then when they got home, he was like, we's mice cream Sundays.

00:34:48
Speaker 1: I was like, ah, I like this family, Oh my god, he goes, we want your sugar up. Didn't they crash? That's not how it works anymore, not at all.

00:34:57
Speaker 2: By the way, your dad sounds like my baby dad. I'm like, okay, we not with ocean.

00:35:03
Speaker 1: Let's have a fruit stay it with me, fruits people, I mean, okay, well there you go. Yeah, you know, now you know who my.

00:35:10
Speaker 3: Dad is, so I totally get it. By the way, it's so fun that, you know what, It's great. I do let him for the most part to it. But I can see my husband just churning in the background, like like pissed.

00:35:21
Speaker 1: Off anyway as well just walk around exactly.

00:35:27
Speaker 3: And knowing that even if Matthew's like, hey, Jay, do you mind not feeding them candy?

00:35:32
Speaker 1: It's gonna happen anyways, Like it's just gonna happen.

00:35:34
Speaker 2: He's like, just one more, that's my everyone's favorite thing to say to me is just one more.

00:35:39
Speaker 1: I'm like, it would work.

00:35:41
Speaker 2: If like she had four and we could round it up to like the five. But when she's had, you know.

00:35:45
Speaker 1: Fifteen cookies, just one more ain't gonna fight. We're done. What's your stands on social media with your kids as in like posting them or as then getting one you.

00:35:58
Speaker 2: Know what both, where are you at with post and then where are you at with them having social media.

00:36:02
Speaker 3: You know what, I need to do a better job of, probably not posting them. I've I've kind of taken a step back because this is my life, like, this is this is all I do right A mom and I get a football game, so that so that's kind of what I post. But you know what, they they were sick over the playoffs this last year and when they went back to school, they're like, Mom, how did all of our friends know we were sick? And I was like, I'm not expecting their friends to be on social media?

00:36:30
Speaker 1: Does that? Parents?

00:36:31
Speaker 3: Yes, I think some of them have social media and oh some of the kids, yes, already they do. But seven and eight, seven and eight, but I don't like that. No, it's way too early. So anyways, I I just have to, I truly need to take a step back and kind of figure out what that looks like. I've told myself after we figured everything out, that I would maybe do that. But with social media, with them, I'm hoping praying somehow it is either not banned, but like they really do put this age limit on it. I do too, because it is it is gonna I don't think you can stop it now. Matthey and I already talked about just doing like the foot phones.

00:37:15
Speaker 2: Total just like just like Mom's number, dad number, Yeah, where you can group text your friends or whatever.

00:37:21
Speaker 3: But but Safari and internet, so no internet and stuff like that is not available. So it's like, yes, you can still be in the group chats with your friends, because I feel like that's what everyone tells me. The downside of not giving your kid a phone is that they tend to get left out of things. Now, I don't mind that I have four daughters, so like you get left out, you got three friends at home, I'm there. Yeah. But at the same time, like eventually they're gonna have to like when they start driving and stuff, We're gonna have to know where they are and stuff like that. And I'm really hoping this generation, you know how, like what is it generation? What's the one underneath us? I don't actually don't know how.

00:37:58
Speaker 1: I'm a millenni gen z gen z.

00:38:01
Speaker 3: I feel like they hate trends or they ha like I feel like it's just getting more and more where they I'm hoping they'll want to be closed off more, like they won't be as open this total. They yes, yeah, it's like trendy to be like incognito or like no one knows much about me.

00:38:16
Speaker 1: It is also what's in is not drinking, which I freaking love. I hope that stays. God for when my kids sad at that.

00:38:24
Speaker 2: Oh but for the kids, my biggest fear is I sit there and I'm watching these these kids in junior high in high school, and I'm like, this is very much the time that they start experimenting going to their friend's house, maybe smoking a joint.

00:38:38
Speaker 1: Maybe what they're saying that they don't they don't need to drink.

00:38:44
Speaker 2: They're so they want to go. They're very into health, and I'm like, let's keep that. That's great because Easton and I are in the program, so there's no telling. If one of my girls picks up, you may have earned yourself a one way to get into an AA room.

00:38:58
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:38:58
Speaker 3: Okay, I didn't know that both yeah, both of us. Okay, And how so how long are you all sober for I've.

00:39:03
Speaker 1: Been sober for over no, not at all. I've been sober for over six years.

00:39:07
Speaker 4: Wow, and I'm working on i mean seven months right now.

00:39:10
Speaker 3: Oh wow. Congratulations to both of you. Well, thank you, that's really impressive.

00:39:14
Speaker 1: Well, thank you for saying that. Yeah, you know, I just know.

00:39:17
Speaker 3: I mean, I have family members that struggle with addiction, so I know how hard it can be.

00:39:23
Speaker 1: It's been great.

00:39:25
Speaker 2: Actually, Like drinking, when I think about it, takes me to a pretty dark place because I really started hitting the bottle hard.

00:39:31
Speaker 1: Same with Easton once our dad died. Okay, so that part is.

00:39:35
Speaker 2: Fine, But I think about, like, Okay, when my kids get to that point in time, I have to be very open with them. Right, if you're going to drink, there is no version of you driving, getting in the car with someone.

00:39:52
Speaker 1: Call me.

00:39:53
Speaker 2: I will ask zero questions, Yeah, not one question. Just pick up the phone. I will be there.

00:39:59
Speaker 1: You don't have to say thing to me. Yeah. So trying to.

00:40:02
Speaker 2: Allow them to have open dialogue with you, which is I think what keeps me up at night. And my kids are only ocean turns for next weekend. So still babies, so says only six months? Oh what real baby, the real baby.

00:40:18
Speaker 1: Wow real new wow wow wow.

00:40:20
Speaker 2: But I'm like, these are the things that keep me up. When do I allow my kid to have social media? I don't freaking know.

00:40:26
Speaker 3: No, I'm hoping it's gone somehow.

00:40:28
Speaker 1: I don't know just like shuts down.

00:40:30
Speaker 3: I like, well, you know, you don't know with the way things trend in these days and how fast things are new things are made or whatever. Yeah, I just feel like by the time they're old enough, it'll be like you just like blink your eyes in your own I don't know it so hard. No, I know it's gonna be weird, but I also I agree with you. You know, we talked about this, but I was the baby. I had a brother and a sister, and by the time my mom and dad got to me, they were just exhausted, and so we had a very open dialogue. It was very much like, Okay, my parents trusted me to to know what's right what's wrong when it comes to like if we went to a party, I would let my parents know, Hey, I'm sneaking out.

00:41:06
Speaker 1: I won't be drinking. I'm gonna be the d D And they're like, okay, just let us know where you're going, and when you're back, let me know, not a sneak out. You know you're sneaking out. I did.

00:41:17
Speaker 3: They would be I mean out cold, and I would. My dad never knew. My dad never knew until literally probably.

00:41:23
Speaker 1: Five years ago.

00:41:23
Speaker 2: He was like you did what, Oh, that's that's awesome. So you still felt like you were doing something kind of not yea.

00:41:30
Speaker 1: Was my mom was badass?

00:41:31
Speaker 3: So but I will say like I felt like I was a pretty good kid, and that is because I had an open dialogue with my mom, could ask her anything I wanted to and also tell her things that I would feel like most parents or most kids at my age during that time couldn't tell their parents right, and so our house was always the house to go too because they were like, Oh, your mom's cool with the reason we were cool with each other's because she trusted me to just make right decisions because we had that open dialogue.

00:42:01
Speaker 1: Did you feel like I I have open dialogue with my mom.

00:42:05
Speaker 2: She has shown me that she trusts me. One wrong move, she ain't gonna be so cool.

00:42:10
Speaker 3: I didn't. I did not want to disappoint her like I She gave me so much tress that I could not disappoint her right.

00:42:16
Speaker 1: And that was my mindset. Whenever we went to parties and I said.

00:42:19
Speaker 3: I was gonna be a d D or whenever, you know, I would make sure that I stuck to that Because I don't know, I just if you put that much trust me, look, and as I'm young too, it means a lot. And so I didn't. I just didn't want and you're right, you make one mistake. She pulls those reins back real quick. Oh yeah, so that was I mean, didn't want to disappoint her. Also didn't want the rains pulled back totally.

00:42:40
Speaker 2: It's always the parents who are so chill, because I feel like if I end up being that type of parent, when I've given you such a long leash, retractable as fuck, yeah, and then you do something, I'm gonna feel betrayed and now you're gonna witness my wrath. And that's how I picture my mom. I'm like, I know my mom, she's so cool. Same with my dad.

00:43:04
Speaker 1: But if they're this cool there, that means they're putting their trust in me. I fuck this up. It's gonna be scary out of my bad. Yeah no, I totally agree that.

00:43:12
Speaker 3: I will tell you this is like in a in a smaller or in a younger age.

00:43:17
Speaker 1: I've done this with my four year old. I'm so tired.

00:43:20
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not gonna lie I sucked up parenting this one.

00:43:23
Speaker 1: She is love her so much, Tyler.

00:43:26
Speaker 3: I love you, but she is probably my worst behaved child because I did not parent her, and I think I got tired. And I think as you get older and your parenting gets tired, you might get a little nicer, and it seems nicer at the time, but she breaks my trust all the time, and so then she gets you know, the hammer laid down a little bit, right.

00:43:50
Speaker 1: But I also blame myself because god, I was a horrible parent. I just gave her what she wanted. I was like, stop her from crying. You took something and challenge it's mine. I'm like, I don't care give it, you know, just to keep the waters.

00:44:04
Speaker 3: I mean, but now she's horrible, so that's I know, she's not horrible, you know what I mean. She's not my best behave child.

00:44:10
Speaker 2: That's fine, you know what, she's the baby. I feel like even if you did. There's a reason why they say the baby is always kind of the golden child. It's not because they're the golden child. It's because the parents are fucking tired.

00:44:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, they seem easy.

00:44:24
Speaker 2: Just give it to or I don't want to hear the cry. Yeah, I'm doing this for my own peace of mind.

00:44:29
Speaker 1: It's exactly right.

00:44:30
Speaker 3: Like at this point, I'm not parenting for you. I'm parenting for me one hundred person.

00:44:35
Speaker 2: And you know I I would like because I love what you said. If something starts happening outside, like in school, people are left out, it's like you've got three more at home. I want to create that. I want to create a football team. Yeah, girl, what is that like too?

00:44:50
Speaker 1: If it's that's really good, that's really good. Just work on maybe the backfield or something. What's that mean?

00:44:58
Speaker 3: Maybe just like the receivers in the cour rack, that would be fine.

00:45:00
Speaker 1: Are they tall? Yes?

00:45:02
Speaker 3: Can you be tall?

00:45:03
Speaker 1: Are we? Are we on the same wavelength?

00:45:05
Speaker 4: Now?

00:45:06
Speaker 1: Now I'm thinking about my next baby down.

00:45:09
Speaker 3: Like do you when you choose uh, sperm donors, you see all their like statistics?

00:45:14
Speaker 1: You do? Wow?

00:45:15
Speaker 2: The only thing I opted to not see, which it wasn't even an option for this donor. He didn't release his adult photos to the picker, which I'm the picker, got it. I only saw photos of him as a toddler and then like his first school picture, but everything down to like his favorite color.

00:45:34
Speaker 1: And there's the largest genetic testing panel that.

00:45:38
Speaker 2: I had to go through as well, as he had to go through. They quarantined them for like two weeks before they actually donate. Did you know out of all of the people who decide to donate sperm, only one percent are actually get the green light too?

00:45:57
Speaker 1: Yep? Whoa, Yeah?

00:45:58
Speaker 3: Is that because of genetic tests?

00:46:00
Speaker 1: Like what they have, genetic testing, it's the they do like drugs and alcohol. They make sure that like you are not into that, but also family history. Yeah, if your family history shows that, like you don't have the best genes, it can become a kind of sticky situation if someone picks a sperm donor and something goes wrong, you know, so they've got to be very particular.

00:46:29
Speaker 3: I will say infertility in general, everything you go through, that's like the most perfect, Like I think because of what you're saying, you're picking a donor or something like, but it has to be perfect. It's the only medical field, right it thinks they have to be perfect, right, Like, even when we are going through it and they tell you, you know, this embryo is stage what you know, you have these different stages and I'm going I mean, I feel like it's incredibly hard to get pregnant with a healthy baby, But I do think your body, if you do have an unhealthier embry or whatever that might say, your body kind of corrects it.

00:47:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they won't put that in because they know they can't take the chance.

00:47:05
Speaker 3: They can't take the chance of it.

00:47:07
Speaker 1: Right.

00:47:07
Speaker 3: But like saying, like, I you know, I think the first round I had like nineteen eggs and then we got like, I mean eleven embryos, which is a lot four.

00:47:18
Speaker 1: Where four were like considered viable four out of these.

00:47:22
Speaker 3: And I'm going, holy shit, how do people have healthy babies? Like that blows my mind.

00:47:27
Speaker 2: You wonder when you hear all of the stories how there's so many fucking people on the planet and who are like functioning, going out and like getting jobs inside.

00:47:36
Speaker 3: It's like if you work in the imfertility situation or in a clinic, you probably are asking the same thing, like how are there so many functioning humans?

00:47:44
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:47:45
Speaker 2: And no matter what scientific jargon you tell me about how a baby is created, No, it is a miracle, period it is. You can tell me the science behind it.

00:47:58
Speaker 1: X y M baby. No, No, I agree, miracle it is.

00:48:03
Speaker 3: I mean I feel like God like they just it all works out while in utero before but it blows my mind blows. In fact, miracle Hunter, our third baby came very quickly and as a surprise.

00:48:16
Speaker 1: I have always heard that that happens.

00:48:18
Speaker 2: It just like, I don't know, do you think it's because the hormones are so like on ten or do you think the pressure was taken off of you?

00:48:25
Speaker 3: I think both me and I think my body like all of a sudden knows what it like, found out what it was supposed to do.

00:48:31
Speaker 1: But let me tell you what start.

00:48:32
Speaker 3: The Twins and Kicks started that that was a wild surprise, and I like, the twins couldn't even sit up and I'm over here, like I didn't want to tell Matthew. I was so scared because we again we are new parents of twins. Season in the middle of the season. Oh no, And I'm just like, and I don't remember if it was a good season or bad season, but you know, Detroit, we can guess. And so I I no, no, I mean they're great now. They're awesome now. And I'm so happy for that town and that organization. They did do really well. They're amazing. They have guys. I've got guys, guys. So anyways, yeah, I did tell him. I told him on Christmas because I was like, I don't know what else to tell you this, but so here's your gifts. He looked at me and goes, are you are you? Are you fucking kidding?

00:49:18
Speaker 1: And I was like, Merry Christmas. I mean, now, she was great. She's a great baby. That made us go for the fourth because she was fantastic. She was so good, she was so easy, and I thought it was just one.

00:49:29
Speaker 3: Oh it's one, it's easy compared to the two. Oh hell no, Tyler came out that bitch was hard.

00:49:34
Speaker 1: So that immediately was like, and we're done.

00:49:37
Speaker 3: Like Hunter was just a good baby, turned like.

00:49:39
Speaker 2: Immediately tubes tied. Yeahsect to me, we're good over here.

00:49:44
Speaker 1: I'm still waiting on the vasectomy.

00:49:46
Speaker 3: Oh oh, listen, this has been a five year conversation, not really for three year conversation.

00:49:54
Speaker 1: What when I retired?

00:49:56
Speaker 3: You know, he's just lazy. He's not against it. He's just like, well, then I gotta take a week off for working out or two weeks, I don't remember what it is.

00:50:02
Speaker 1: I'm like, guys go to work the same day. Babe, like, yeah, fine, just a quick little snippy He'll be pumping weights by the next day. Yeah. Right.

00:50:10
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, he's like, I feel like, weren't you gonna get your two side anyways?

00:50:13
Speaker 1: I like, no, not if you get No, there's a point where met my two side.

00:50:17
Speaker 3: Say to me, also, I've been opened up three times. It's your turn.

00:50:22
Speaker 1: I'm tapping out. I'm out this man, right, yeh man, No, let's just before we sign off.

00:50:31
Speaker 2: This man. Most men, all men, all men. Huh, they go out, they're being sacked. They're doing X, Y and Z to just be like who tough? Right, we kind of like lean in on them, like if shit gets sticky in downtown La, I got my man with me. We give birth to babies pre mentally we are just we will. If football were just a mental game, we would funck shit up.

00:50:59
Speaker 1: Period. Agree, we're shoving humans out of our twats, all right.

00:51:04
Speaker 2: He's doing all these things and you're asking just for one little snip, and he's like, I just can't do it, just one. You know that is I love hearing that because it's just men.

00:51:12
Speaker 1: Yes it is. Yeah, but it's he's he's going to practice. He's got clinic. They cut through eight layers of you know what.

00:51:24
Speaker 3: He's got a lot he's an old man in that locker room, so he needs that man and he feels like, well, I will say one thing, Yes, that's it.

00:51:34
Speaker 1: You're right, probably when he retires with you, But uh, I will say one thing.

00:51:37
Speaker 3: It's pretty awesome. You watch him out there and he's a different person on that football field that even I know. Like they show him in the huddle and I'm like, whoa, this is yeah, turn super hot. I'm like, oh yeah. And then he comes home after a gameer after being this manly man in the locker room, he comes home to these four little girls and he is the ten, so tender and so sweet to them. It really is incredible to watch. Like I love him as a football player, but him as a girl dad is the biggest turn on the wall, which is why he needs to get snipped, you know what I mean.

00:52:12
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm tapped out on the turn. I can't be. I need more turned on than I am right now. Yes, agreed.

00:52:18
Speaker 2: Let me ask you one more question. What is it like in your household when there is a big game? What is it like for the both of you before the big game? And let's just say he comes home and it's a loss. What does that look like?

00:52:32
Speaker 3: Okay, so I will tell you before a big game. I mean he is very good at compartmentalizing. I think that has come with age. When we learned Detroit, his first few years, it was very much football football. Even when he was home. Kids do that too, you know, they pull you out of it totally. So before a big game, I mean, I tell you before the super Bowl, it was the Super Bowls in town, so it made it completely different. Like he was there until the night before the game, and he went to stay the hotel kind of like a normal game totally. Normally teams are there for a week or so or two weeks before the two rule, staying in hotels and whatnot. But he, you know, he's the most calm, cool and collected person I know. So before games, it is very normal in our house. I mean, I like, we carry on as if. I honestly don't even really remember a time in the past four years that it's been oh yeah, there's a really big game that we can like we need to like take the stress off of Dad or whatever. He's just kind of a normal dad now. After the games, big games, loss, it depends on when it is in the season where their record is if they're suck.

00:53:36
Speaker 1: We went one and four at the beginning of last season.

00:53:38
Speaker 3: That was hard, Okay. He just felt defeated and but had to keep going and like lift the guys up a little bit. He had been in these predicaments before, again not throwing shade Detroit, but we had. He'd been there, right, and so I believe he told shown he's like, we're gonna we're gonna win out or you know, we're gonna make playoffs, and they did.

00:53:59
Speaker 1: But that first stretch I remember being.

00:54:02
Speaker 3: Like, God, this sucks because it's just an overall mentality. He's trying to be, you know, a good positive man in this house, but what is another very important thing to him? Has not been going well?

00:54:15
Speaker 2: Right?

00:54:16
Speaker 3: And I will say, like, if it's a one game and it's kind of like well, or if he played bad, he is very I will say the girls have to be around.

00:54:25
Speaker 1: I want the girls around. They make him take his mind off it immediately.

00:54:30
Speaker 3: They don't care about football. They asked Doddie, will you help me draw this? And he'll sit down and it kind of takes it away from him. He's like, you know what that is in my in it's my job. At the end of the day, that is a job, and this is kind of what's important. And he's very like I said, he's really really good compartmentalizing that whole thing. Yea, where in the past he wasn't. He used to lock himself in the bedroom when they lost. We would have guests in Detroit and he would just be like.

00:54:54
Speaker 1: I'm out, I got him deal. Yeah, And I was like, Okay, well, I guess I'll just sit out here and I'll handle it. Yeah.

00:55:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, But his turn the corner and I will say that's age and due to our children.

00:55:05
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:55:06
Speaker 2: But I think it's also a huge testament to how you are as a wife. I think he knows that you you are and I firmly believe this. When you see a happy, healthy functioning home, of course it's two people, but I believe that it's when a man looks at the worth of his wife or his life partner, mother of his children, because you really have to keep it together for the household, right You're holding down the kids even though you may not even know it. You're trying to take pressure off of him because you know where his mind needs to be during the season I think it's incredible what you do. I'm so happy that you have your podcast because you've got your thing, which I think is very important. I just loved having you on the podcast today.

00:55:52
Speaker 3: This was so fun, so easy, right, I had a great time. Yeah, besides the traffic getting and I don't know beside this has been that.

00:56:00
Speaker 1: I know, are you fought? Are you're in Sherman Oaks?

00:56:03
Speaker 3: Okay, so not far but not enough.

00:56:05
Speaker 1: I mean it's far. I mean like every La everywhere is far.

00:56:09
Speaker 2: Everywhere in La, whether I want to come here or to the grocery store that's a mile away, thirty minutes plan on.

00:56:15
Speaker 3: It wild, Yes it is, but you know it's totally worth the hour and a half drive. I really enjoyed it today.

00:56:21
Speaker 1: Wow, I had no idea. Thank you so much. Please you said so honored.

00:56:27
Speaker 3: It's nothing.

00:56:27
Speaker 2: Thank you guys, you guys, thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Give Them While a Podcast. We will catch you on Monday for the bonus and then again Wednesday.

00:56:36
Speaker 1: Hi y'all,