The One Where They’re Live From The Improv with Stassi Schroeder

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Tonight is a very special show because you're all here, because I am approaching five years of sobriety. Thank you, so I invited you all to spend your hard earned money to celebrate with me. It is not lost on me that you guys work hard as fuck. You could be anywhere tonight, and you chose to be here with me, and I'm so grateful for that. I'm not gonna get emotional at the beginning. I often look at pictures. I send it to Darryl everywhere. I'm so horny right now. I google myself, but it's like mortifying photos right because I want to remind myself what made me get sober. I see men. Wow, that's like so rare, you guys, this is crazy. I see dudes. Are we straight? FuG I love this? Were you were? You brought here against your will? The husband? Welcome, welcome husband. There's another hobby. I love it. Thank you guys. I don't have any straight men in my life, so I'm glad to know there's there's a feel. And one photo that always pops up on Google that's so mortifying, like I can't really look at it. I'm in a tupac bikini. Hoops that I could put my arms through. It shoved up my ass. And I remember this vividly because I was performing with James Kennedy at a club, Yes, at a club called Rehab, how I ronic, right, and my father is there, sorry dad, my mother, and I remember it was time to like do a champagne shower, and James was fucking killing it, right, He's like giants kind of day. I could not get this for the life of me to like spray anybody. So I just stood there like a fucking string bean, thinking my ass will slaping like Beyonce, because that's what alcohol does to you, and I just dump it all over my head. It was like a champagne shower for myself, right, And then I proceeded because I was also super fucking stoned to run into the package, run into the back. There's a kitchen. I tried to climb through a refrigerator thinking it's a door. But anyone who lives in La Davy Wayne's you do climb through a refrigerator to get to the club, right, So that wasn't entire I lead the alcohol's fault, like that's their fault, because refrigerators are doors in La so when I look at images like that, I'm like, holy shit. Like, first of all, I hid different sober right the skins popping, that's all I get. Bitch, I'm out of these streets, single with a baby, trying to find a man, and all I get is a whoo. I love that. Thank you you guys. I want this to be open. We're homies. I do this podcast because I love doing it. I know that you guys hopefully like listening to it. I'm thrilled to have you all here, and I just am so freaking blessed to be celebrating five years one day at a time. My birthday's on Sunday, but I'm feeling like we're going strong and I'm really really like I would not want to celebrate with anybody else. So again, I'm so appreciative that you guys are all here. We're gonna have the best time. So let's get it pop. And I would love to introduce you guys to my left and my right arms my brother Easton Birningham and Jessica Walta. So, like I said, I want to treat this very much like we would be recording a podcast. And if you listen the first segment is always slamming my mom. Who's here tonight, Hello Lisa Birningham, and the family drama is one that like really shook the Burningham households last night. I'm still recovering. So my daughter looked so freaking cute, and I was like, Mom, I want to put Ocean in her Louis Vaton bag because me being a stupid bitch, I've bought her on her one year birthday a Louis Vuitton bag. So I get her this bag. I'm like, Mom wears the bag and she's like, it's in the Louis Vuton box above the moir. I was like, the big one that I threw away last month, that I threw in the fucking garbage, and I so badly wanted to claw her eyes out. Okay, because number one, whether she wants to admit this or not, Easton, you fucking know, no, I know, I know firsthand. She loves moving things around. She loves moving things around, and she likes to keep bullshit. Okay, she likes to keep the boxes that the cardier came in. She likes keeps a little baggy because she'll put stuff in it. And I'm like but what right? So for me, I've been staring at this stupid box that's ruining the aesthetic of all my hard earned designer bags in my three bedroom, three bathroom apartment, and I'm like, it's gotta go, and the mom's gone, I'm fucking hucking it, all right. So I come downstairs and she's looking for it, and I'm like, I know that I threw it away because I opened the box like a normal person. There was nothing in it, so it goes in the garbage, but I didn't rummage through. Keep in mind, the bag is like this big. I'm trying to take it out on Easton. I'm trying to take it out on my mother. But this is how I know I've evolved as a person. Okay, don't fucking laugh at me. Just wait until season eleven. Easton was there. I was a grown adult during this. I said, I want to blame you right now, Mom, and I can't because it's not fucking your fault because I should have gone through the goddamn bag. And now I'm sitting here thinking, I pray to God that there was a dumpster diver, because at least I know that, like the bag went somewhere besides like the landfill. Right, please assure me that this happened. Did it happen? And now I'm thinking I should be a dumpster diver because if this is the shit they like, stupid bitches are throwing away like there's some like cool stuff in the.

00:07:21
Speaker 2: I would have dumpster dome if I knew the Louis he was in there. But I do want to say, since Les you're not up here, you deny keeping all the boxes and stuff, right, just to make that clear, you're.

00:07:30
Speaker 1: Not a hoarder. I'm She says she's not a hoarder. She says she's not the H word. She's not a hoarder. Oh but she is. Okay, No, she absolutely is. And so whoever got the Louis Vauton bag, I wish you were in this room. I hope you enjoy it. I feel like it was my karma for spending that kind of money on a one year old I do. I'm like, what have I done? Are you gonna die?

00:07:58
Speaker 3: We're the same one again, I don't know.

00:08:01
Speaker 1: Do I buy the same bag? Yes?

00:08:05
Speaker 4: Or do you let me know?

00:08:07
Speaker 1: Oh, by the way, if I get robbed, I'm fucked at this point you let her pick her own bag out right, what is it? Let her pick her own bag out Let her pick her own bag? Oh, but that bitch God dispends the taste though. Every time for the third birthday, all get a new bag. But I'm telling you, she walks in the closet. Bitch is going straight for the burk and every time, and I'm like, no, not happening. I'm waiting to sell that to buy us a home one day, obviously. But I know that I'm evolved. I just know it, and no one can tell me otherwise because I live in my own world and what I say fucking goes right. We've all learned this. We all watch vander Pump Rules right like, you cannot tell me nothing. Here's another very quick story because I'm proud I have to share with you, guys. I'm driving and these fuck wads right in LA they try to make the light and then it turns red, so then now they're blocking my traffic. But the lane next to me can sort of go around them, so they're zippering, is what Easton calls it. Are you guys participating?

00:09:17
Speaker 5: Yes?

00:09:21
Speaker 1: Why the star? So you're star? I love that? So one car goes and this little white fucking Hyundai is sitting here, and I'm like, is he gonna go? Or is he letting me go? So I just kind of cut him off, right, And I just had Hero by Mariah Carey come on to the radio, right, so I'm vibing. I'm like, this is speaking to my soul. I'm flying down Burton Way. I'm gonna pick up my boo boo that I haven't seen in like three days. Not that kind of boo boo, my daughter, my daughter. I heard some of my They're like, ooh, that's so fun. No, no dick for La la unfortunately, but I do know that my vagina in my mouth are very clean. Fuck you Easton. So I'm pulling up to like the dohiny light and he comes and I'm hitting the high notes of Mariah. It's like so fucking good.

00:10:21
Speaker 6: Right.

00:10:21
Speaker 1: She's like, it's a long road when yes, graceful world alone and I'm like, yes, I am alone, but I'm a hero. And he fucking flies up next to me, like rolls down his window and he's like and I don't even budget just look over and I go, I can't hear you. And he goes like that fuck you, and I was like okay, and I just continued singing. And in that moment, I had like a Jerry Seinfeld moment. Do you guys watch that show Seinfeld? You know when he goes into that restaurant and he's like helping the guy who's opening the restaurant and he's like doesn't know what food is served, and he's like, you're such a good person, Jerry, and he's like, I am a good person. That's how I felt myself. Was talking to me, being like you are so evolved girl. You fucking just killed that, you know, because what I wanted to do was get buck wild with a run. That's usually what I do.

00:11:23
Speaker 2: All mouth was he kind of a douchey guy though, because he deserved to be yelled at by Lalla.

00:11:29
Speaker 1: He was he sounds like a douche.

00:11:31
Speaker 2: I asked this earlier. She told me the story earlier, and I said, he sounds like a douche and you were like, he wasn't really. He was driving a sensible car.

00:11:37
Speaker 1: Sensible car, a Hyundai Reliable.

00:11:40
Speaker 2: He had well had spiked hair, and I was like, dude, but it was like, g I Joe spiked.

00:11:49
Speaker 1: Douche.

00:11:50
Speaker 2: Yes, She's like, did he have like one of those tattoos?

00:11:53
Speaker 1: No tattoos, Yeah, but like the you.

00:11:55
Speaker 2: Know the tattoos I'm talking about that the douchebags. A Monster Energy drink tattoo. We love Monster if they want to sponsor the podcast.

00:12:05
Speaker 1: By the way, but anyone we will drink anything, eat anything, pop anything, if you're willing to sponsor the podcast. Wasn't, so that's what. And by the way, you said he didn't deserve to be yelled out by law lat Or he did. He was a douche. He deserved to be yelled But I don't think so, because I feel like that's like a rite of passage to be screamed at by me.

00:12:28
Speaker 2: That's true, right, I have yet to be screamed at by Lala Camp.

00:12:32
Speaker 1: By the way, guys, I would never. I can't afford to lose you. Lucky for Yourence, I know Easton has to love me no matter what. This is unconditional. Why I love you no matter what you do? Yes, she's in your family at this point. Do you, guys remember seeing me interview Jessica. You do. So many people see her and they go, I didn't think you really worked for and I'm like, well, we're filming a reality show, and if you take like a couple letters out, it spells real.

00:13:06
Speaker 2: So they and people do ask me because in the interview she says, and you'll have to clean my breast pump or something. Never once I didn't clean it. One time I was ready and willing. I was like, let me clean that breast pump.

00:13:19
Speaker 1: I feel like when you're interviewing somebody, you gotta give them worst case and best case, so like they know what they're in for. So I'm like, you could be scrubbing my tit milk, crusty, dusty out of the pump. Never, she was down, down, down for whatever. Now let's really get it pop in. I have a guest for you guys, and I'm very excited. She is near and dear to my heart. I'm absolutely obsessed with her. She's one of the baddest bitches that I know. She works hard and she just had her second baby. So I'm throwing the drink.

00:14:02
Speaker 7: Let's have some stassy shrova.

00:14:23
Speaker 1: I brought the wine.

00:14:25
Speaker 4: I brought the wine.

00:14:27
Speaker 6: Yes, yo, this is my first night out. I have not had a night out in ten and a half months.

00:14:39
Speaker 4: It's fucking wild drink. So I drank a lot.

00:14:44
Speaker 1: Of whispering angel backstage here, I am, did I fucking deliver?

00:14:53
Speaker 5: Or God?

00:14:58
Speaker 4: How do we close my I don't know.

00:14:59
Speaker 1: I don't know the right.

00:15:00
Speaker 4: I'm not trying to like flash everyone. So it's like, but I you know.

00:15:04
Speaker 1: Okay, if you flash them? Will I get more followers on Instagram? Pardon? Or will you get the followers on Instagram? If I flash? Will I get more followers on Instagram? If you were to flash cookie?

00:15:15
Speaker 4: No, I don't think that's like not my like follower vibe.

00:15:18
Speaker 1: It's all women only mine.

00:15:20
Speaker 6: No, Like I have no men following me, like my following on Instagram. It's so no no one thinks I'm hot.

00:15:28
Speaker 1: That is such a fine, you know what I mean.

00:15:31
Speaker 6: No one's following me because they're like, oh you sex kitten.

00:15:35
Speaker 4: You. No one's following me for that reason.

00:15:38
Speaker 1: I mean you might thank you if you think I'm hot, you know what I'm trying to say. So, like, if I were to, as.

00:15:45
Speaker 6: You would say, flash my cookie, I really no, I think my follower account would go down.

00:15:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, who agrees with that?

00:15:54
Speaker 2: If Stasi were to flash her cookie on Instagram cheers if you think their follower account would go up?

00:16:03
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe I'll try it. Let's just give it a whirl, you know, let's just give it up. Let's just try it. Let's just try it. No, I was having this conversation with Stossy backstage. I was like, how do you get your following to go up so fast? Because like, I can get mine to go down way fast, but like getting it to go up is like a fucking struggle unless scannabal happens, which is once in a fucking blue moon. Like, is anyone take for the team again? What did you say? Scannibal was very helpful?

00:16:34
Speaker 6: No, I will say everybody for the follower count, everyone involved, anyone who's ever touched banner pump rules. Yeah, we benefited from scandabal.

00:16:48
Speaker 1: Yes, unfortunate everybody. Did you see that Raquel sold the sweatshirt and I knew that that's.

00:16:57
Speaker 2: Just what can you tell me because I saw a little of it. Can you give a quick recap?

00:17:03
Speaker 1: Okay, recap for everyone living under a rock and easton? She put she auctioned off the Tom Tom hoodie, which was absolutely hideous, and the lightning bolt necklace, which was also equally as hideous and one. I'm bad at math, so I don't know what went for what, what went for what? But I know that the total was fifteen thousand dollars. Did you guys know this? Yes? And I know we all boo recal or rachel or whatever, but I do like that she said that one hundred percent of the proceeds go to a charity that is for mental right, am I saying this correctly? Mental health? That's amazing. Good for her. I do think that that is great. None of us can knock her for that, right, perfect love. There's always the one person that's like, I don't believe you. I'm totally some of you are just gonna have to take one for the team tonight or right. I'm looking for content and you've all paid to offer.

00:18:19
Speaker 8: That to me.

00:18:20
Speaker 1: All right, So if someone says something that I like or don't like, like, just engage, Just engage, all right? Okay, I have a question for you, Yes, is there one thing that you've done to your face that you're like, this was a game changer? Like if you injected, like, what's the one thing that you would that changed it? You who said chin, yes, yes, are you kidding me. No, I'm not chin implanned. Best thing I ever did. It changed your whole face.

00:18:52
Speaker 6: It changed my self esteem, which is better than my face. I just I look back at all my photos. I was in high school and I used to just like jut out my chin like this, and every single one I laughed.

00:19:05
Speaker 1: Like a moron like that.

00:19:07
Speaker 6: Chin implant was highly recommend, highly recommend chin implant.

00:19:12
Speaker 1: But I feel, okay, I do know what you're talking about, because I think that you jetted out your face when you were still jut out but amazing race with the black hair, we.

00:19:22
Speaker 6: Don't want to talk about that. I said, oh no, I know. You said, are there things that are off limits? And I was like, for the most part, not really, I don't think so. I should have said my face.

00:19:32
Speaker 4: On the amazing race of climates, Let's.

00:19:36
Speaker 1: Not go there.

00:19:37
Speaker 2: Can I ask you a chin implant, just because I'm legitimately curious?

00:19:42
Speaker 7: Yes?

00:19:43
Speaker 2: Is it like breast implants? Like when we went in for laws, you got to pick a size?

00:19:47
Speaker 3: Do you get to pick a size?

00:19:50
Speaker 6: Like?

00:19:50
Speaker 1: Oh no, I never.

00:19:51
Speaker 4: Even asked this, And that is such a wonderful question.

00:19:53
Speaker 1: Surely want to know.

00:19:54
Speaker 4: It's a great question.

00:19:55
Speaker 6: Okay, so they mold one for you specifically, or at least back when I it was like, literally, don't boo my parents, okay, seventeen. Okay, it was like a month before my eighteenth birthday. But it's what I asked for for my high school graduation.

00:20:11
Speaker 4: I really wanted a chin i plant.

00:20:12
Speaker 6: God, I sound crazy right now, like I really do, so out of touch I am who I am? Whatever, Okay, I can't help my past, only my future anyway, anyone else interested in chin in plants, they will mold it. They mold it for you, and then they They never showed me some like AI situation or some computer version of what I would look like. I'm looking back on it now. I would have liked that, but I'm happy with what I got. It's like, yes, it specifically and asked if something was too big, and I'm like, I don't really know if it's too big or not. Just like, go based on what you think I would look.

00:20:53
Speaker 1: Good for your facial structure. Yeah.

00:20:55
Speaker 4: Like it's so fucked up that I'm literally doing this.

00:20:57
Speaker 6: I'm talking about this live right now in runt of people because I've never actually been asked that before.

00:21:02
Speaker 1: Can I tell you something. When I was a fucking stoner, I would get injected and then that night smoked so much weed and I would sit there and look at my face and want to like dig it out. I was like, oh my god, I can't imagine if I had like a chinn i plant, because even with my tits, I was like, good about Oh my god, it's so fucked up. But I also stone thought that people were living in a shoe trying to kill me, so I would say it was laced with something. But I actually think interesting. I just maybe it didn't agree with me any longer.

00:21:38
Speaker 6: But no, yeah, yeah, yeah, I never had the feeling of like this, like that felt like a Saw movie type of scene where you want to claw out your own chin and plant.

00:21:49
Speaker 1: Never felt that, not yet. But tonight is a new night. Tonight, Tonight's it looks gorgeous. I just want I wanted to know, and you're fucking fabulous.

00:21:59
Speaker 4: It did before it does.

00:22:01
Speaker 1: Now, well I can tell that if I did not have it, you'd be less hot. I didn't even know you had a chin plant. Did everybody know you had a chinen plant? Did everybody know you had a chin I had no idea yeah, I'm always under a rock. Go raise your hand. If you didn't know, oh you.

00:22:25
Speaker 3: See, your mom raised her hand. Lisa raised her hands.

00:22:28
Speaker 1: Lisa, you didn't know it had a chinni plant. We don't watch the show. Oh my gosh.

00:22:35
Speaker 4: You thought it was just naturally this gorgeous.

00:22:39
Speaker 1: Little did you know. Shit, her gorgeousness comes from a built in chin. Oh yeah, but she got it up build a chin.

00:22:46
Speaker 4: My numb right here, so like this side of my face, like right here.

00:22:50
Speaker 1: From the implant.

00:22:51
Speaker 4: From the implant.

00:22:52
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean it was cautionary tail. Who cares? Cautionary hair? Who cares?

00:22:58
Speaker 6: So sometimes when I'm eating some or drinking like red wine, you.

00:23:02
Speaker 4: Know, but I don't know it because I don't feel it until I look.

00:23:06
Speaker 6: In a mirror way later and I'm like, the fuck, tell me there is dried balsamic vinaigrette. That's god, but it's worth it.

00:23:24
Speaker 1: Oh my god. By the way, though, the numbness, do the jewel on stage? That is such a goal.

00:23:31
Speaker 4: Also, rip jewels? Do people still call them jewels?

00:23:36
Speaker 1: I think they call jewels jewels? Yeah, okay, but like if it's not a jewel, then it's not a jewel.

00:23:42
Speaker 6: Like that is such a it's such a boss buy to just sit on s all I have.

00:23:46
Speaker 1: So if you're wondering how giving the vapup is going, not well, not because I continue to just like need it, like whatever movement on your sober show. I'm very I'm very in my sobriety. All right, you guys, get buck wild, do whatever the fuck you want to do. I can jewel, all right, I will say with the numbness. The first question my doctor asked me when I got my titties done, does that word bother you? Stacy? No, the word does it bother me? Doad? You didn't even look at me. They were like, we can go through the nip and it'll be like they'll be gorgeous, but you'll lose feeling. And I was like, you lose feeling there. We're not getting wet very quickly down there, and that to me is our give me the scars, all right, their battle looms. If you have scars underneath ya, it's pretty hot.

00:24:54
Speaker 6: Though, like listen, no, not don't. I don't know if you know this, you should probably know this and not this isn't a competition.

00:25:02
Speaker 1: Okay, but it feels like it is.

00:25:05
Speaker 6: Okay, you realize I have had a breast reduction and lift, so I have anchor scars on my boobs. No, it looks like it looks like the grim Reaper came and found me in the middle of the night, did whatever you wanted, sewed me backup?

00:25:21
Speaker 1: Are you trying to guilt me right now? You're trying to because it was.

00:25:24
Speaker 6: It felt like you're trying to be like, you know what, but I have scars underneath my boobs right now, like you're trying to win some award.

00:25:31
Speaker 1: Okay, but it hits a different when you've got scars and a B cop You're like, oh, what were you working with before?

00:25:37
Speaker 4: I was trying to get a B cup.

00:25:40
Speaker 1: Damn, this bitch had a cursed fuck like she's gonna have back pain when she was older. You know. It's like kind of sad. It's like, really, this is the size you chose, Like these are the battle wounds, and like that's the size you chose still like a little mosquito.

00:26:01
Speaker 6: But no, I'm sorry, big chested, sorry the way that you want to say it, did you say tittied? Sorry big tittied girls know the struggle.

00:26:13
Speaker 1: Yes, I will never know all right, So I'm sorry. I never no, no, no, no, I don't want to try to scar shame your toto.

00:26:27
Speaker 2: Is there anything either of you have gotten done on that question that you would say.

00:26:33
Speaker 3: Don't do to anyone out there?

00:26:34
Speaker 1: Are you regret?

00:26:35
Speaker 6: Oh?

00:26:37
Speaker 1: But this is your podcast.

00:26:40
Speaker 6: I don't think I have things that I've done that I'm like, fu No, not.

00:26:42
Speaker 1: Okay, tell me never do two things?

00:26:44
Speaker 6: Okay, I did that injecting in your chick Kuaibella Kaybella.

00:26:47
Speaker 1: Don't do it, you guys, literally don't do it unless Kaybella wants to sponsor the podcast, then do it.

00:26:54
Speaker 4: I actually don't know.

00:26:55
Speaker 6: One person that has done Kuybella that it's actually worked for.

00:26:58
Speaker 1: Do you like Kaibella? Do I have? Iabella? I think it was gorgeous. Do you love it? I did, but I would not do it again. I wouldn't do it again.

00:27:12
Speaker 4: I would just go and get it like it because it really didn't.

00:27:17
Speaker 1: Keek, are we sure we're talking?

00:27:20
Speaker 4: Did you get kind of Kuybella all over your face?

00:27:24
Speaker 5: No?

00:27:24
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. No, Oh, yeah, that happens you bullfrog.

00:27:29
Speaker 4: Nope, I did do it in the winter.

00:27:31
Speaker 1: No, I did. I did it with Kristin Me and Kristin Doty.

00:27:36
Speaker 4: It was December.

00:27:38
Speaker 6: She posted about it, so this is not a secret, Like it's not a secret. Okay, it was two thousand, I think it was seventeen December, and we both did it, and we thought that we were gonna be fine. You did, Kaybella. You injected your chin. You thought that it was going to melt away everything that's right here. No, you ended up looking like a bullfrog. So I only wore turtlenecks that went a my chin like this, and then it was so it's also so painful that I'm like, fuck this, you have to do it, and they're like you have to do.

00:28:07
Speaker 4: It more than once, and I'm like, of course I do.

00:28:12
Speaker 1: No, thank you, I'm gonna eat that money.

00:28:16
Speaker 4: And it was so expensive.

00:28:17
Speaker 6: Chris I got a deal because she posted for it, but I was being a secret of asshole, so I paid for it, and it was never doing it again.

00:28:25
Speaker 1: I could picture you bullfrogging with it and balsamic on your mom show. You have my favorites.

00:28:36
Speaker 4: I'm a queen, I'm a winner. What can I say?

00:28:39
Speaker 1: You're a winner?

00:28:40
Speaker 3: What's the second one?

00:28:41
Speaker 1: You said? There's two?

00:28:42
Speaker 4: I don't think I'd ever do lip injections again.

00:28:45
Speaker 6: I look back on all the photos of when I got lip injections. Sorry, Lola, Oh no, I looked like a clown. No one told me, and they actually they looked lopsided. So like, that is a risk that I'm willing so painful, worse than childbirth.

00:29:02
Speaker 1: Well that because you have an episode. You're not from the waist down, humpty dumpting your ass off during childbirth my leg. I was like, is my leg on the ground? Why am I tilting so much? Rethinking, rethinking, rethinking. It is extremely painful, though, if you're gonna do your lips, you guys, I like to get a dental block before. Is it a dental damn or a dental block? It's not a dental damn.

00:29:31
Speaker 4: I don't know what that is.

00:29:33
Speaker 1: Is it? Blogger? Isn't dental damn? In your asshole? Vagina? Na?

00:29:38
Speaker 6: Right?

00:29:39
Speaker 1: I didn't go to college. I went to Slick. It was a community college and I took like one class. Okay, can we talk about Taylor Swift for a second. How do you feel about this relationship with Travis Kelcey. He is a real man, real man, real man.

00:30:02
Speaker 6: That's such a nuanced, layered question. I have lots of feelings about it, you do. I want Taylor to be happy no matter what, so like whatever she chooses, whoever she chooses, I'm thrilled with.

00:30:13
Speaker 1: This is the thing football players. I feel like they fall.

00:30:17
Speaker 4: Into like one of two categories.

00:30:18
Speaker 1: Okay, okay.

00:30:19
Speaker 6: They either fall into the category of just being a fuck boy okay if they fuck with you, or it's like, I'm so committed, I'm a family man, I love Jesus, I want to have a bunch of kids.

00:30:30
Speaker 4: I will never cheat on you. It's like one of two categories.

00:30:33
Speaker 6: I'm not sure which category he falls into, So.

00:30:37
Speaker 1: I'm just fuck boy, that's okay. I'm not sure that because you don't want the Swifties to come for you? Yeah? Is that scary? Do you think if the Swifties came for me my following would go up? Should I just start fucking with them?

00:30:52
Speaker 5: Oh?

00:30:53
Speaker 1: No, I love you more.

00:30:56
Speaker 6: No, If you're worried about your following, you don't go for the Swifties, What the fuck is wrong with you?

00:31:03
Speaker 3: I don't know.

00:31:03
Speaker 1: I'm desperado, I'm thirsty. I love Tamie Swift Okay, and can I tell you I was not into her, you guys until number one. I heard Vigilante shit and I felt like she wrote it for me. In fact, I'm still convinced that she did, because she talks about like the FBI and she also talks about thick as thieves with your ex wife, and I'm like, she knows my story. She wrote this for me.

00:31:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I'm thinking about Taylor Swift.

00:31:31
Speaker 1: Everyone feels like they wrote it for her. I'm going to find a song that she wrote for you, and now I feel like was for you? Yes, well, now I feel like they were all written for me. And I'm sobby in the car and I'm like, what is happening? But I'm thrilled that she exists because once you have a daughter, you know, I'm sitting here pop in that wet pussy to wop right, but I'm I don't know what that means? What does that mean? It's okay?

00:31:57
Speaker 4: What is that I'm popping that?

00:31:59
Speaker 6: We? Like?

00:32:03
Speaker 1: Really, what does it mean? Though you're walking? Close your eyes?

00:32:12
Speaker 4: Did everybody else know?

00:32:14
Speaker 1: Did everybody else just know? With Megan the Stallion and like, uh, Cardi B's like with that witness pussy also written for me. But then you give birth to a beautiful daughter and you listen a whop and you're like, oh my god, don't like covering her ears.

00:32:36
Speaker 7: And then Taylor Swift comes along.

00:32:38
Speaker 1: And you've been just like ignoring her for the past thirty years of your life or however long she's existed, and you're like, oh my god, this is all I'm ever gonna listen to ever. So I agree with you. I want her to just be happy. But it's very annoying to have seventeen cutaways when we're watching a football game when I'm trying to see what act and.

00:32:58
Speaker 4: I'm gonna fly whoa whoa whoa. You're why is he trying to actually watch the football game?

00:33:07
Speaker 1: No, I'm trying to watch. I'm trying to build a roster, all right, I'm like number forty seven, Okay, raiders, okay, dmcent, you know, because I'm trying to pop the wet ass pussy while my daughter is elsewhere listening to shake it off by Taylor Smith. All right, A very well rounded mother. By the way, how's that going? You have like two kids? Now, that's crazy.

00:33:36
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like really fucked up when you think about it that you're in charge of two children.

00:33:43
Speaker 1: You're in charge, You're in charge of.

00:33:44
Speaker 6: Two beings that need you in order to survive, and then you decide to leave one night to come to do a podcast.

00:33:51
Speaker 1: So and you're like, who am I?

00:33:53
Speaker 4: What am I? I'm away from this baby.

00:33:56
Speaker 6: I'm here drinking wine in front of a bunch of people talking about Taylor Swift.

00:34:01
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Thank you? Whoever said thank you? So she's Finn Becau. Stossy is a freaking star. I love you all. But I asked Stossy, So I went over and I'm going to brag about this because that's just what I do. I was the second person to meet Messer. Yes, I was like, I don't want to put pressure on you. I know what it's like bringing a new baby home. You're just like in complete bliss, right, you like don't want people coming around. But I gave Hartford her first pair of hoops, because that's just.

00:34:38
Speaker 4: What they also say this.

00:34:39
Speaker 6: You gave her her first necklace that she's actually like her serious necklace.

00:34:43
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know the gold necklace you WoT her.

00:34:45
Speaker 6: I should just I should have taken a photo of it, because normally she wears her just like costume jewelry to school and she just started wearing her.

00:34:53
Speaker 4: Gold necklace and that's the one that you got her.

00:34:55
Speaker 1: Ah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that stuff. Sorry I should have sent a photo. It's okay. Sorry. So when Messer was born, I was like, oh my gosh, I have to get him his first pair of Jordan ones because I'm obsessed. That's what I always wear. And when I brought it over to her house because she was like, you can come by on Wednesday, I was like, perfect, So I bring them. I was like, Stassy, you're not going to be excited about this gift. It's a very non stossy type of gift. But I just felt like I wanted to be that person to give him his very first pair of like little high tops.

00:35:31
Speaker 6: Right.

00:35:32
Speaker 1: And then I was listening to your videos that you post from your podcast and you were talking about how overwhelming it is when people want to come see your baby and you feel so much pressure, and I was like, bitch, shit, I wasn't. I mean no, but I be real, break that down. Did you feel that way when I wanted to come see Messer? Can you break that down from me? The people who I was talking about, say a.

00:36:07
Speaker 6: Name, haven't they haven't had the luxury of being over at my house to meet Messer, Like, no, truly, like I've only had two people.

00:36:17
Speaker 4: At my house over to meet Messer.

00:36:20
Speaker 6: I'm also speaking from experience with Hartford and what it's like like when I was talking about in that podcast about what it's like to have someone come over or someone feel like, well, I haven't met him yet.

00:36:31
Speaker 4: I haven't met him yet. And then they come over and they get mad about haven't.

00:36:35
Speaker 1: You are gonna get me in trouble? You're a fucking asshole. I'm not here to get anyone in troubleshol.

00:36:40
Speaker 6: Really, you know, I wasn't talking about you, and so you're bleeding me into a compedation actually where I might talk about somebody, and I'm not trying to talk about anyone, No asshole, Saucy.

00:36:54
Speaker 1: I'm vain and self absorbed. I didn't think about anybody by myself when I listen to that.

00:37:02
Speaker 4: Okay, wait, that makes me feel horrible.

00:37:05
Speaker 1: Don't horrible. We're just bantering. This is just a podcast, Okay. A lot of people in here. Well this I also feel like a therapy session right now.

00:37:14
Speaker 4: But I need you to know.

00:37:15
Speaker 6: I need you to know that you were you also had your own baby with you, your own toddler with you, right you any if you truly listen to my whole podcast, you would know I wasn't talking about you, because I was talking about people who just come over and want to just hold my baby and then tell me things and not listen. And they don't have they don't understand that you do. You know what I'm saying?

00:37:36
Speaker 1: You do you code in front of a live audience right now, By the way, totally not my intention to do this. You're doing it at all. So let's shift and it's judging me out. Let's shift. Let's shift gears before you fucking bullfrog over here. What I'm do? You feel like it's easier having people come over to see your baby if their parents, because they understand and they're not there to hold your baby, they're there to just be like, I messer, Google Gaga, how are you? What do you need help with? Like?

00:38:12
Speaker 6: Is that?

00:38:14
Speaker 1: Do you get what I'm saying. I'm trying to make you not feel like you're at the risk, but I'm not.

00:38:19
Speaker 6: I don't want to make anyone who's not a parent feel like they're like if they're in this situation with their group of friends or somebody that they know that has a kid. I don't want to make anyone feel insecure if they don't already have a child. But it is, Yes, it's when somebody already has a kid, they understand the struggle that you're going through in your head because they've they've gone through it, right, And that's just how life works with almost any situation, not just having kids when you really think about it, right, like when somebody just like no one could understand what being on they will never understand what we understand about being on a reality show.

00:38:57
Speaker 1: Okay, so.

00:39:03
Speaker 6: When we're in a like when we're in a situation where we're going through a lot, or when we.

00:39:07
Speaker 4: Were I'm not on a reality show anymore, so when.

00:39:10
Speaker 6: We were going through a lot in terms of reality TV, and one of them want to come over and visit, and all we know to think about, or talk about, or stress about or worry about is this one thing. They will never understand that, and they're not gonna understand that in that moment, which is the same thing when someone comes over to see your new baby and they've never had a baby or don't know it, or at least they don't know anyone that has or haven't been close to it. It's gonna be the same fucking thing, which I don't fault anyone for that.

00:39:42
Speaker 4: They just don't know, and how could they?

00:39:45
Speaker 1: How could they do? We have mommies in the house tonight and it was like multiple children because I'm starting Wow, okay, so I'm starting to it's hard. I see you.

00:40:00
Speaker 6: Well.

00:40:00
Speaker 1: Stacey texted me and said, this is no fucking joke, because yeah, is it true?

00:40:05
Speaker 3: The one is fun, two is twenty thing?

00:40:08
Speaker 4: Can I just say that?

00:40:09
Speaker 6: Like everyone that messaged me that, Yeah, I was so angry when I was pregnant, Like everyone's like zero to one is easy, one to do is so hard, Two to three is a breeze.

00:40:19
Speaker 4: I'm like, I still don't believe that, Like.

00:40:21
Speaker 1: There's just fucking you mean age or the amount of kids, the amount of kids, but don't they like entertain each other At a certain point, there's like a know, someone's saying yes kind of for personally, Yeah, this was way harder.

00:40:42
Speaker 6: Really, this has been way harder really, like by far. But that also might have been because when Harvard was born. It was during COVID.

00:40:51
Speaker 1: I had not changes everything.

00:40:53
Speaker 6: I was literally just stuck at home and so my only job was just to just be her mom.

00:40:58
Speaker 4: So maybe that's why it was ezero.

00:41:00
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is this is way harder. I've been thinking of dabbling into, like maybe getting pregnant soon, I know, and.

00:41:09
Speaker 4: I want that selfishly so badly.

00:41:15
Speaker 2: Is there one man that if they were, let's take everything off the table.

00:41:19
Speaker 3: They're single, they're not married, a dream baby daddy.

00:41:22
Speaker 2: Where if they were like I will give you my sperm, you're like done, done and done.

00:41:26
Speaker 1: That is such a great question. And Travis Kelcey and this guy loves Travis Kelcey and they'd go away after Well, I guess it pays out. Well, what is that guy who goes away? No, my dream guy would be one that, as far as a baby goes, he has no rights. Can you tell. I'm a little traumatized, well, little scarred, but we're working through it. Odell Beckham, Oh.

00:42:00
Speaker 6: Now.

00:42:02
Speaker 9: Done?

00:42:02
Speaker 4: Easy answer?

00:42:04
Speaker 1: Like yeah, or Michael B. Jordan. I'd take either of their scratch you know, honey. It's so crazy because when people thought I was fucking for money, they were all like boom, you whore. And now every time I talk about anyone who's rich, they're like, hey, you said you did it, you did it. But now everyone's like, he's rich, go for him. I'm like, what they are not the ones that are shaming you. I'm not shaming any of you. I'm talking about the outside world, y'all. Are my people talk about them out there? Do you have a slipt crush? Do you do that? Do you and Bod do that?

00:42:42
Speaker 3: Do you each have slipt crushes?

00:42:44
Speaker 6: Yes?

00:42:44
Speaker 1: We do? What is yours? Yeah?

00:42:47
Speaker 4: I mean it changes all the time.

00:42:49
Speaker 1: What's yours? Now? Right now?

00:42:50
Speaker 4: Okay? Well, first let me talk about who had started real fast?

00:42:53
Speaker 6: Joaquin Phoenix always in forever like until I die, like something about him?

00:42:57
Speaker 1: Josh Hartnett, They're fuck have y'all seen. I just watched Pearl Harbor? Isn't he? And that Josh hartin I it's so sad. Just watch Pearl Harbor.

00:43:09
Speaker 6: They like to find my like my that's not my adolescence, that's my turning, it's my pre teenage years. It's like my twelve to thirteen when I was discovering how I felt about anything at all.

00:43:21
Speaker 1: Your Setial Day.

00:43:22
Speaker 4: Yeah it was, and I just watched it just now.

00:43:25
Speaker 1: No, I've seen it before. I'm saying I just watched it again. I recently watched it.

00:43:30
Speaker 6: Okay, Well, in all fairness, you always talk about how you don't watch movies set off and.

00:43:36
Speaker 1: You, guys, it's the weirdest quirk. It's my quirk. My attention span is very short, which is why my podcast allows me to jump around a lot. And that's why you guys are awesome because you let me do it. I'm still stay clicked in, but I recently have like been obsessed with movies. Like I only watched Seinfeld Family Guy Friends, Like that's we started watching Desperate Housewives again, Like that's my jam, right, But I'm like addicted like ovaries deep in, like Pirates of the Caribbean, fucking Lord.

00:44:11
Speaker 10: Of the Rings, this bitchcase to meet my son and also just hit me with this glorious news that she's watching Pirates of the Caribbean.

00:44:24
Speaker 6: And Lord of the Rings and I'm like, who are you welcome to the fucking family.

00:44:31
Speaker 1: I will say I had only seen the first Pirates and I had only seen the first Lord of the Ring.

00:44:35
Speaker 6: Time to start Harry Potter, La La, I know, Harry, you gotta find out what house you're in.

00:44:42
Speaker 4: That I really hold on.

00:44:44
Speaker 1: Let's all guess. Oh my god, I drink I even want more wine than this. Okay, let's all guess what house Laala is in from Harry Potter.

00:44:55
Speaker 6: You guys kremnor, I agree, hold on, no on, I'm gonna say.

00:45:01
Speaker 1: Them all and we're all gonna scream out. Okay, all right.

00:45:04
Speaker 6: First, I'm gonna go all right if you think Wala is in Ravenclaw, Okay, okay.

00:45:12
Speaker 4: Three people huffle puff. Seriously, I thought you thought it's a great house.

00:45:18
Speaker 1: Okay, but not La La. I don't know. I don't Slytherin Gryffindor. Oh my god, I was gonna say Gryffindor me. That sounds like a nice house. Okay, let me tell you why it seems like yeah.

00:45:40
Speaker 6: Now, but I think you get let me explain why I think you get a bad rep. Like people think you're just really hard and you know how to go after people. You're tough, you stand up for what you want, like, you're ambitious.

00:45:53
Speaker 1: You all of those. Tell me more about all the fabulous things I am.

00:45:57
Speaker 6: But you're kind of soft on the softest you are, and you stand for a good cause, and you like stand for what you fight for, what you believe in. And Gryffindor, sorry that no one else out here raised with me about Gryffindor.

00:46:11
Speaker 1: Where were you? Guys? Where were you when I needed you? But I'm telling you, I think when she I think you're gas In eleven, maybe they'll be like, oh, she's the Gryffin. Do you think they might? It's Slytherin with Slytherin.

00:46:27
Speaker 3: Slytherin is with except for Snape or what well.

00:46:29
Speaker 6: I tried to be Southerin every time I would take that to take the test, I'm like, I want to be Slytherin. You know my vibe. It totally fits with my fucking vibe, and I never got it. I'm really, you wanted to be Slytherin and.

00:46:40
Speaker 1: They all said that I am Slytherin, then you're just fucking jealous. Oh my, that's so accurate. The only thing I know from Harry Potter is when like the little redheaded kid is like, not hold.

00:47:02
Speaker 4: Because you're on TikTok.

00:47:05
Speaker 1: That on TikTok, No, I don't scroll the TikTok because I've seen the first Harry Potter and they're on the chess player. La Lala, am I on the TikTok? Jessica, do I scroll the TikTok? You know? I don't scroll the.

00:47:23
Speaker 4: Instagram reels. The Instagram reels. It's a viral thing, Malala.

00:47:29
Speaker 1: You guys. The only thing on my Instagram reels is like housewives, love and hip hop and a lot of athletes and little baby animals. I knew it. I knew it. Yeah, Stacey, I had the best time with you. Thank you so much for you guys.

00:47:49
Speaker 3: Are I'm sorry?

00:47:51
Speaker 1: I want to thank you. I want to open the floor up to ask us some questions because again, you guys are the homies and I want us to just like vibe for a moment. So I have a microphone right here. Can you wave your hand again? You send it to Darryl. I love you. Yep, right there, right there, So if you'll just walk to the woman who has her hand up, Hello, Hi Gorge.

00:48:25
Speaker 11: So my TikTok handle is actually lesbian la la, and I learned recently that in Chinese la la means lesbian, but as a queer mother, a lot of the queer community wants to know that, you know what, if your next romantic relationship was with a woman, is that something you've considered, especially another mother who's maybe understood what motherhood is like, understands the are you not bullshit not the corm system, understand things that men don't.

00:49:02
Speaker 1: You know, you know what, are you pitching yourself right now?

00:49:08
Speaker 4: Dug? But you know, just a check at a road.

00:49:10
Speaker 11: Every queer woman on my TikTok is like, you know, so many of the vander Pump girls right now are single and we're.

00:49:15
Speaker 4: All just like switch sighs.

00:49:18
Speaker 1: I will buy you all the toilet paper and batteries. So I love this. Can I tell you're not the first person. I had a woman approach me at a party a few weeks ago, and I almost felt bad because I have hooked up with women before. I don't want to say that I was not interested. I was under the influence at the time. And my biggest fear is wasting someone's time or making their feelings something that I just kind of flip around like that. So I think for me, men is what I'm attracted to, and I would never want it, Like I said, waste anyone's time or mess with their feelings. But I've eaten a few cookie in my day and I have no complaints. Anybody else, go for it, my love.

00:50:16
Speaker 4: Okay, so this.

00:50:18
Speaker 1: Is my first night out. Also, I just had my fourth baby and I struggle a lot with mom guilt. I literally cried on my way down here.

00:50:30
Speaker 6: So I was wondering if you had any advice for someone who struggles with doing things.

00:50:35
Speaker 1: For themselves as a mom. I love this question, and first of all, I'm so honored that you came tonight. Mom guilt is real, and I feel like there's nothing that anyone can tell you to make you feel better except training your brain, which is what I've had to do, and you've had to do it now this is your fourth time having to train your brain. They're like, if you don't go out and have a good time, your kids do not get the best version of you. And I know that that sounds so cheesy and cliche and everyone says that, but like you are. I always say, you're the head coach of the household. Right, no one's making moves unless you give the call. And if you don't have time with your girlfriends or in this beautiful room where we can just have fun and let loose and forget that you're like a mama for five minutes. Then you're not gonna be an impeccable head coach because you're running the fucking household. So I hope that you can do something with that, just so you know I see you, because I struggle with that all the time. And I love you. And congratulations. Hi, hid Abel.

00:51:55
Speaker 12: So I've had this question since I saw your last show in Irvine last April. I lost my dad five years ago, and I'm just wondering, how do you keep your dad's memory alive with your child? That's I've been with my boyfriend for a long time and we do want a family eventually, and I just I struggle with that as well, and so I'm just wondering, as I was twenty five when I lost my father, and I know that's similar to your age, and so I'm just wondering, what do you do to keep his memory alive and how do you kind of inergrate that into your everyday life.

00:52:29
Speaker 1: I love this question too, and I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel like I think it was the round five and a half years ago that we lost our dad. I have a picture in Ocean's room, and she grabs it and kisses it. Actually, and when we say prayers at night, we hold the picture and I end it with you know, we say these things humbly in your precious name. We pray with Poppy by your side. Amen, And she gives the picture a kiss, and so she knows that Poppy was my dad and her grandpa. And I feel just talking about things that you remember, or if there's jokes that he used to say, like continue doing that. Did your boyfriend know your dad?

00:53:12
Speaker 12: Yeah, my boyfriend's actually the only the only boy my dad ever approved of.

00:53:18
Speaker 1: That's so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. But it could be so much worse. Right, your dad could have been like fuck this guy, and your life's still still with him. I mean, I think from the time that kid is born, for you and your future family, you have a picture of your dad in that baby's nursery, and it's the craziest thing. They're just gravitated towards it. And I don't want to push my beliefs on anybody, so please don't think that that's what I'm doing now. I just believe in a higher power, and there's just something that when a child sees like your dad, they're gonna freaking know and have questions. Because that's what happened with Ocean. She just like one day started walking, grab the picture and asked questions in her Google Gogga voice. So the memory is gonna stay alive because I can feel that in you.

00:54:07
Speaker 6: Right.

00:54:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope that helped. You're welcome. I have some people right here. You can come up and then you my love yep, you, and then daddy right here? What a what is that a Boston hat? Yeah? Buddy, okay, do you have a question, daddy?

00:54:31
Speaker 5: It's gonna be a three part question, it is. First question is what is Ocean's favorite food?

00:54:38
Speaker 12: Oh?

00:54:38
Speaker 1: I love this. Her favorite food is spinach swinich. She and I don't even have to sautate, y'all. I just chopped that shit up one day. I was tired and I was like, this is all She's fucking good olive oil salt. I put it in front of her and she's like a bunny rabbit.

00:54:51
Speaker 5: I love it all right, kind of random, random, But what's your favorite soup?

00:54:56
Speaker 1: My favorite soup broccoli? She's soup in a bread bull. I am fucking filthy.

00:55:02
Speaker 4: Oh, I love it with tim chips.

00:55:06
Speaker 1: I love yeah, right the dip. Oh I could live off of a dip.

00:55:10
Speaker 6: Yes?

00:55:11
Speaker 1: Has anyone seen that that move? That show? What is it? Only murders in the building? How he only eats dips. I'm like, oh my god, I just relate to your characters so much.

00:55:22
Speaker 5: And my third is I relate with your dad. And my dad passed three years ago on the twenty eighth, And it just made me feel.

00:55:34
Speaker 1: Like very connected to you. So we are connected? Sure, thank you for saying that. Yeah, I'm like really proud of this room. I feel like it's like therapy. We've had fun, we're offering the ford to each other, and then you're gonna send me into Vanderhunk Rules to fuck bitches up.

00:55:58
Speaker 8: Hey Gary, Hi baby, So I have to start by sharing a fun fact. Raquel is my sorority.

00:56:04
Speaker 1: Sister, Raquel if your sorority?

00:56:09
Speaker 8: Yes, So I to share. Yes, I know, I want to to know my I have. I have a great job. So it's not a bad college, y'all.

00:56:16
Speaker 1: Oh, don't be a hater.

00:56:17
Speaker 7: But I wasn't talking about you again to buckle.

00:56:21
Speaker 8: The guests, everyone asks that she actually has done as she plays off to me, I'll let you all continue thinking what you want to do, but I'm gonna lighten the mood a little bit. Fuck Mary kill okay, Jack Taylor shorts and Satchel.

00:56:47
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right, hear me out. I think I'm obviously gonna murder Jack Taylor, right, I love him, but he's gotta go. I would oh god, I think I would probably fuck Schwartz because I'm attracted to him. And then I heard sex goes in marriage anyway, So I guess I'll marry Satchel. I've got a vibrator, Hi Lama, Hi Gorge. Question, So you are so confident. I just want to know if you've always been this confident or where did this come from? This is such that's so funny. You asked that because we were driving down to Irvine tonight, and I was like, it's so crazy to think of where I am right now, because I remember in Utah, I was so intimidated by people, by my surroundings that like I would drive with my mom to go pick up just like take out, and she would ask if I wanted to go in to wait and the thought of allowing people to see me sent like set me into sheer panic. There were times that I could not leave the house because I was so insecure. And there was just a point in time where I moved to la and it didn't work out. I was very insecure here the first time. I like it was debilitating. I move home. I do what everyone else kind of does.

00:58:20
Speaker 7: You know?

00:58:20
Speaker 1: You go to college? Will community college for me? Because that was not the plan. And I got a normal job and it was fantastic, but I wanted to be happy, right and my dad always said you got to do something that you love, and I knew that that was entertainment. So I had no choice but to move back out to LA. I was still very fucking terrified and insecure. I use alcohol to numb. Don't recommend it, and I find myself on vander Pump where I'm still very insecure. But these hoes will eat me alive. So I had to put on this like brave face and go toes with people, even though I wanted to just like crawl a hole and sob. And all of a sudden, I realize, like, if I just keep faking this, I think one day I'm gonna make it. And one day I just woke up and was like, I'm actually a confident bitch like you kind of cute, you know. There's just like there's things that shifted and maybe it comes with age. I want to think that because I just the thought of me as a child. I would never want that for ocean. But I just no matter what you do, what you look like, this world is not gonna build you up. You guys, They're gonna fucking tear you down, all right, That's just the reality of it. So I want you to go home and fucking hype yourselves up so that when the big bad world comes for you, you're like, fuck off, Like have you seen this face? And ask? And there are days where I'm not feeling this face and ask? All right, I'm like, God, you've seen better days. But just getting into that mindset of like everything works, I'm healthy, I'm happy. Like what do I have to complain about? Nothing? Amazing? Question? Okay, I love you so much? Can I just take a picture with you before I run back? There?

01:00:09
Speaker 5: Wait?

01:00:09
Speaker 1: Where are we heading right here? I thought you said before we head back? I was like, well, what are you taking me about? So This is the part of the night where I get sentimental with you all. Like I said, I'm turning five, and I remember being in this room. Fuck a little over a year ago, my life was in shambles. I was entering a custody battle. I was terrified and didn't really know what my future was gonna hold. And I thought that I would have an overwhelming amount of support, right and again, the outside world is not always like that. So I kind of just kept my head down and I knew I'm a single mom. Now I'm the primary caregiver. There's no one giving me money, you know, like I'm the provider for me my baby, you know, like I really had to step up to a position that I didn't think I was capable of, but there was no choice. And then I stepped into this room. And I don't know if some of you had been to my last show that I did last year. Thank you for coming back, and you guys really revived me. You guys have given me so much love and support and I so appreciate everything that you guys have done for me. And I don't want you to think that it's ever gone unnoticed. You, like I said, did not have to be here tonight, and you're fucking here and I love you all so much, so I would like do I have a shot? Yes, okay, we have shots.

01:02:32
Speaker 2: But before we do these shots, obviously, it's La LA's five year sober birthday. So we have a little cupcake and we're all gonna sing happy sober Birthday, sobering.

01:02:47
Speaker 3: Okay, So the candles are.

01:02:49
Speaker 1: Basing Happy birthday. I don't get happy sober part because in AA we don't sing sober.

01:02:55
Speaker 9: Okay, okay, let's have okay and one and a two and a one two three, Happy.

01:03:05
Speaker 2: Birthday two, Happy birthday to you.

01:03:15
Speaker 4: Happy birthday, dear.

01:03:19
Speaker 1: La Lah, Happy birthday two. Hey, thank you guys so much for coming to the Give Them La La Live Show. I fucking love you. I hope that you enjoyed yourselves tonight, and please get home. Please keep supporting me. I know I make it hard for you, but I love you guys so much of the best nights. Do you want your shots?

01:03:53
Speaker 5: La?

01:03:54
Speaker 1: Yeah? Say okay? Shot?

01:03:55
Speaker 6: Do I have drake?

01:03:57
Speaker 1: Do guys have drake? All right? Oh there's more. I get a shot a pineapple at the end of the day. Who someone might get lucky.

01:04:09
Speaker 2: Whoever has a shot we are gonna stop. Everyone, lift up your drinks to cheers to Lama.

01:04:18
Speaker 3: Motherfucker can b