Detective Dave Sweet's Guide to Conquering Challenges in Your Work and Life

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to the Big Success podcast, cutting edge conversations on business and personal success, as well as how to level up.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's your host, number one business coach in the world, Brad Sugars.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, you're in for a treat today.

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<v Speaker 2>Dave Sweet, homicide detective yes, his investigations have been on many TV shows from Canada.

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<v Speaker 2>His first book he actually put out skeletons in the closet.

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<v Speaker 2>101 things you can learn from being a homicide detective and dang.

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<v Speaker 2>His perspective is different today.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait till you hear some of the stories of investigations and how they did it.

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<v Speaker 2>The fact that he says I'm a salesman, I sold life sentences, how he is in his investigations, would convince people to really, I guess, tell their story.

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<v Speaker 2>It tightening gangs, organized crime, all that stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Dave Sweet is our guest today.

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<v Speaker 2>Distinguished service award, you name it.

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<v Speaker 2>The guy's done it in investigating and policing.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't wait for you to learn his view on success his days.

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<v Speaker 2>So, dave, with all of the background, how do you define success today?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, for me, I guess I measure success wholly around the idea of what kind of impact we're making as people in the lives of people, and so I believe that what really matters is how we engage with individuals and people that come into contact with our lives.

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<v Speaker 3>I think if we're doing that, we're living a life that matters and a life that should be counted yeah, contributions that we're making and serving with people themselves.

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<v Speaker 3>I measure success really on impact and what we're doing with people.

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<v Speaker 2>So take me back then as a young man.

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<v Speaker 2>It probably was a little different.

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<v Speaker 2>How did your definition of success grow over the years to get to that point?

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's through the service of community, recognizing that there's need everywhere and just realizing that you have a big part to play and hopefully filling some of those gaps of need, and realizing that the way to do that is going to be coming in with a positive attitude, good mindset, every single day.

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<v Speaker 3>The best thing that I could possibly do is come to work every day with an attitude of gratitude and a sort of idea.

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<v Speaker 2>So let me ask though, dave every day you're seeing the worst of the worst.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you stay positive with that around you?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, because it's a great question.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a question that's asked all of the time.

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<v Speaker 3>It's sort of this idea about how do you deal with dark, terrible things.

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<v Speaker 3>In the time that I worked in a homicide unit for almost 15 years, I was involved in over 600 death investigations.

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<v Speaker 3>I've seen pretty much all the different ways people can be horrible to one another.

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<v Speaker 3>I kept a positive outlook and I really started with this.

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<v Speaker 3>None of this was about me.

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<v Speaker 3>It was always about the person that was servicing.

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<v Speaker 3>So if I always remembered that this isn't my tragedy, that I could focus on the interview and then believe it or not, and even the most heinous of crimes, there are these beautiful silver linings that come out of sort of wool and some positive that can come as a result of even the worst dates.

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<v Speaker 2>Dang.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, there's a great book that's come out of all these years, 25 years of policing and 15 years of dealing with that.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me go backwards a step though.

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<v Speaker 2>In your life, you chose success somewhere.

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<v Speaker 2>Was it as a young boy?

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<v Speaker 2>As a young man?

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<v Speaker 2>Was it when you got into the force?

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<v Speaker 2>Where did you choose that you were going to be successful, no matter what you did?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, you know it's.

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<v Speaker 3>I was so fortunate, brad, I was in a I to be born into the family that I was born into, yeah, you know, and so it was really from a very young age that I don't know that.

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<v Speaker 3>I like the idea that we do choose success.

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<v Speaker 3>I like that as an idea and I actually believe that we do.

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<v Speaker 3>However, I will also say that I was gifted a wonderful family of successful people.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, my dog, my father, was a, you know, a very well known and well thought of paleontologist.

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<v Speaker 2>He was you know, hang on.

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<v Speaker 2>What's a paleontologist?

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<v Speaker 2>Give me that one.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so he was a.

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<v Speaker 3>He was a fellow that actually he studied more the fauna versus the dinosaurs, got it.

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<v Speaker 3>Got it so essentially.

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<v Speaker 3>But you know, around the dinner table at night on a Sunday we had all these incredible people that would come by to talk and visit and be with my dad and they were all successful.

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<v Speaker 3>You know the guy that believed that sores were evolved from birds.

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<v Speaker 3>He showed up.

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<v Speaker 3>You know the fellow that found the crater in the Mexico area that believes that that's where the mass extinction event began.

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<v Speaker 3>These are people that grace my table.

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<v Speaker 3>And so to fall success, or the idea of success.

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<v Speaker 3>It wasn't hard because I was surrounded by successful people.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>And, and so from a very young age I just I didn't, I didn't really ponder anything else.

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<v Speaker 3>But dad always used to say you're going to be a ditch digger, be the best damn ditch digger you can be.

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<v Speaker 2>And I believe, I believe that I love it when families give you some a level of belief in yourself and a level of belief in success.

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<v Speaker 2>So over the years you've developed a lot of formulas, which we're going to go into a bunch of them in the book.

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<v Speaker 2>But what is in your mind?

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<v Speaker 2>The components of success, Like what makes some, what makes success happen?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so like no.

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<v Speaker 3>So for me, there's a few things I think.

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<v Speaker 3>First thing is is defining what success actually means to you.

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<v Speaker 3>I think that's the most important part.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, you have to define what it is actually going to mean to you.

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<v Speaker 3>And then what's that's figured out.

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<v Speaker 3>Surrounding yourself with other successful people is huge, because we learn you know there was, there was no, there was no mystery A lot of the people that I worked with over the course of my career.

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<v Speaker 3>We followed each other around.

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<v Speaker 3>He went to the same area regularly, and it's because we as a group, as a collect group, knew that we were stronger together.

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<v Speaker 3>God and I worked with incredible number of successful, gifted people over over my career, but we followed each other all the way through, and that's for that I will surround yourself with successful people.

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<v Speaker 3>And then I think the next piece is is that recognizing that one of the most important things is that you have to set into motion and things that are going to cause your lucky breaks a place to land, and so what I mean by that is you can't win the lottery in play Right, and I think successful people put into motion a number of different things that allow those what we would call lucky breaks, a place to land later, and I have a story about that.

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<v Speaker 3>Actually it's sort of a.

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<v Speaker 3>It's an interesting one, but I kind of give you an idea on it.

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<v Speaker 3>It so, years ago we were involved in an investigation where a young man had been murdered at a house party, and in the investigation that ensued we learned that our offender, after the the stabbing had occurred, it fled from the residence in a vehicle and it thrown the knife that was used in the stabbing out onto a roadway.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I live in Canada, calgary, alberta.

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<v Speaker 3>It's snowy here.

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<v Speaker 3>This event happened in New Warrie.

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<v Speaker 3>We had snow piles up six feet along the roadways and we learned about this knife being thrown somewhere along his route away, you know, a couple days later.

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<v Speaker 3>But the investigator in that case said you know what, we need to go out and try and find this knife.

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<v Speaker 3>And I thought there's not a chance this is going to happen.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

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<v Speaker 3>But yet he says in the motion the steps that needed to be taken to begin to search the area for this knife.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I was assigned to go out there and sort of help supervise the search.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I get out there and one of the police officers that was there, he had his, he had a police van and he got stuck in our snow bank and as he's sitting there spinning his tires and we're all laughing at him because that's what we do re-race like the you know, laugh at somebody else's misfortunes that way.

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<v Speaker 3>when it comes to our own guys, and as he's spinning his tires in this snow bank, wouldn't you believe it, Brad?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not joking.

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<v Speaker 3>That knife came out in two parts the handle and the blade and landed right at her feet.

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<v Speaker 3>But that perfect example, I think, about what it, to you know, put into motion things that are going to cause our lucky breaks to land somewhere.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Now did you get, did they get the conviction on that one?

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<v Speaker 3>We did get a conviction.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was.

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<v Speaker 3>It was back and forth for many years, but you know, that knife was very, very important.

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<v Speaker 3>It had both our offender's DNA on it.

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<v Speaker 3>It had our our victim's DNA on it, so it was good.

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<v Speaker 3>But well, for me, you know, if we hadn't have done that, we never would have got the knife.

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<v Speaker 3>But we had looked at the situation and said, oh, the snow's too high.

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<v Speaker 3>you know there's not a chance, not even worth doing it Right and successful people know that right, they put into motion, they're going to make themselves successful.

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<v Speaker 3>And then I think the last piece to be successful for me anyways, is when I think about it, and I think about all the people that I've worked around over the years it's not that hard to be a little bit better than average.

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<v Speaker 3>I really believe that.

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<v Speaker 3>So you know it's not that hard to you know if you're walking to the grocery store one day everybody else has walked by the little piece of paper that's been sitting on the on the sidewalk or on the median or whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's just to you know.

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<v Speaker 3>Bend down and pick it up and throw it in the trash as you get to the grocery store, for an example.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, but successful people know it's not hard to be a little bit better than average and they do that every day.

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<v Speaker 2>I've always been intrigued by the relationship of failure and success, and as a homicide detective, failure and success are not too far apart.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you see the relationship between the two?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, no, I mean, it is absolutely true.

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<v Speaker 3>I believe that failure is part of the evolution towards success and probably come of no surprise that when we get involved in some of our investigations, we may have a victim that had been murdered and then, when we sort of start to do their background, realize that there's a number of people that would have likely wanted to have murdered them.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and you know, you can have a suspect list of 10 or 15 people, and as that, how that sort of applies to us is this as we go down each rabbit hole and follow each sort of red herring, you might feel like you're not getting any further.

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<v Speaker 3>But as you start to dwindle that list from you know 15 down to 10, and then 10 down to five because you're able to clear people through alibi and things of that, the case against your number one suspect just gets stronger and stronger and strong right, because he's the one person you can't.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's sort of how I sort of view sort of the evolution of success and failure.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>You're on the Big Success podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to be back.

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<v Speaker 2>Dave and I are going to start diving into a lot of the cases and what we learn from the cases.

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<v Speaker 2>But if come back with us in a moment, make sure you hit that subscribe button and we'll get on to more success Business empires are where most people create the vast majority of their initial income and wealth.

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<v Speaker 5>Through Brad Sugar's Entrepreneurs' event, you will learn how to turn your companies into valuable and sellable assets.

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<v Speaker 5>Visit bradsugarescom to attend this program as a standalone or as part of Brad Sugar's Entrepreneurial University.

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<v Speaker 2>All right.

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<v Speaker 2>So Dave, 15 years homicide, 25 years policing how are the skills of homicide detectors relatable, I guess, into normal everyday life?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, when I read through the book 101 life lessons, I think that it's pretty amazing how some of these things you've translated.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you see that as being relatable?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so I mean, I'll give you an example.

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<v Speaker 3>One of the things that I came to learn was, when it comes to interviewing or interrogating, you know a lot of your listeners people that are out there right now are in sales positions.

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<v Speaker 3>You know they're selling houses, they're selling cars, or you know stocks or these or what have you, and what I ended up doing is I sold life sentences.

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<v Speaker 3>Ha ha, ha ha.

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<v Speaker 2>I sold life sentences.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna name the podcast that I sold life sentences.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, and I really truly did.

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<v Speaker 3>I really feel like I did, because what ended up happening and what it where it's relatable is, is that unbelievably.

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<v Speaker 3>When you kind of look at, like what an interview process is like, or an example, a lot of the strategies, the techniques that we use in an interview to convince or have somebody accept that by talking to us, that that is actually a good thing, all right, and it gives them an opportunity to tell their side of the story and all those kinds of things, but it comes at a great cost.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the cost is is they're gonna go to jail for the rest of your life?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, but many people do it, yeah, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>And how that happens is very similar to the way it happens like if you were to walk in and try to buy a car.

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<v Speaker 3>A lot of the same kinds of things are occurring in an interview as they are in a sales room floor.

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<v Speaker 3>So, for example, there's going to be a period of time where there's some report built right, starting to understand and get what people's interests are.

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<v Speaker 3>There's gonna be some theme building that goes on top of that In an interview setting, for example, one of the things that I always think of, and I do workshops on this.

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<v Speaker 3>I always remind people you need to just listen, because if you listen you'll hear what a person is concerned about or what they fear they give it to you.

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<v Speaker 3>Not that long ago, I was talking to a kid and he really was a kid and his whole entire question was not whether or not he did the murder.

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<v Speaker 3>He was worried about whether he was gonna have a cell by himself and what it would be like inside of jail.

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<v Speaker 3>What he's really telling me is that he's scared.

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<v Speaker 3>He's scared to get hurt and all of these kinds of things.

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<v Speaker 3>And so, as an interviewer, when I hear that, I need to address that in some way, shape or form and reframe that his perspective of what jail is, and so it might be well in this particular case, it was just reminding him that jail's a great place for a timeout.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a place where we need to go, and we know that well, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I need a 30 year timeout.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well for them it makes sense in the moment.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, yeah, you know, no different than in a sales situation, you need to know when you can push, when you can pressure, when you need to lay back.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, lay off a little bit If you're gonna close this.

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<v Speaker 3>It is all about sort of the way you kind of move through some of the strategies in an interviewer, practicing empathy versus sympathy, All of these kinds of things, and I spent quite a bit of time, you know, again like talking about this.

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<v Speaker 3>But you see, the relatability between the two skills.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the only difference I'm selling somebody on the idea that it's their opportunity to tell their story and that somebody else would be selling, like I said, our house or what have you.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So you talk about the bogeyman type thing, that idea of fear and people facing their fears.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell me more about that and success, because I think that's a really important aspect of getting to be successful.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, totally.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, yeah, you know, fear is sort of it's really a, it's almost like a three-headed monster to me.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, some of it is.

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<v Speaker 3>We have these fears that we learn.

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<v Speaker 3>Actually, it's interesting when it comes to fear.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, experts have suggested that we're born with only two fears you have loud noises and the fear of falling.

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<v Speaker 3>So every other fear that we have in life has been learned in some way, shape or form, and when we come to like acknowledge that, then we can.

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<v Speaker 3>If we learn, we can hopefully unlearn it in some way, shape or form.

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<v Speaker 3>So, wow, no-transcript.

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<v Speaker 3>And so one of my jobs always as an investigator is to hear somebody's fear and help them try to overcome it in some way, shape or form.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, right, yeah, this is worried.

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<v Speaker 3>They're gonna get beat up or they're gonna be killed because they're their witness to a crime.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, it's my job to explain to them why I don't believe that we'll right, you know, dave.

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<v Speaker 2>I watch a lot of crime shows and I always think that guy's just gotta be stupid.

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<v Speaker 2>You know why, didn't he?

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't realize just how much you, as the investigator, are selling them Dang.

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<v Speaker 2>I never really thought of it that way.

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<v Speaker 3>It's and you know you're selling it and there's a little parrot on their shoulder going don't buy it, don't buy it, don't buy it.

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<v Speaker 3>That would be, that would be the lawyer, right, but they still buy and it's it.

00:19:12.238 --> 00:19:17.862
<v Speaker 3>But it is a fascinating relationship but I really do believe that it is.

00:19:17.862 --> 00:19:25.563
<v Speaker 3>You know, the things that I learned in a universe, in a, in an interview room, are so universal to the larger, you know, the bigger piece.

00:19:25.563 --> 00:19:32.284
<v Speaker 3>And that's why you know I so much enjoy talking to people about business leaders and people like that.

00:19:32.284 --> 00:19:38.103
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I talk to them about strategies Cause I think they take away a lot from discussion.

00:19:39.266 --> 00:19:41.199
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so let's dive into.

00:19:41.199 --> 00:19:47.779
<v Speaker 2>You discuss in the book a lot about coalescent effect and you talk about the jury and you had to explain that to a jury one time.

00:19:47.779 --> 00:19:49.696
<v Speaker 2>Tell us more about cause and effect and why.

00:19:49.696 --> 00:19:50.902
<v Speaker 2>That's an important lesson.

00:19:52.175 --> 00:20:06.403
<v Speaker 3>Well, I think cause and effect is something that's really important, because a lot of us never think kind of three steps ahead of what our action is going to be Right, like when we this into motion, what is that going to look like three steps down the road?

00:20:06.403 --> 00:20:12.865
<v Speaker 3>We can usually anticipate what it's going to look like immediately, but what is it going to look to?

00:20:12.865 --> 00:20:19.778
<v Speaker 3>Or three steps down the road, if you're not considering that you may not put the same action into place.

00:20:19.778 --> 00:20:22.018
<v Speaker 3>For example, like I'll give you, I'll give you one.

00:20:22.018 --> 00:20:28.708
<v Speaker 3>I believe in creating win-win situations all of the time myself.

00:20:28.708 --> 00:20:30.799
<v Speaker 3>So I don't.

00:20:31.902 --> 00:20:35.798
<v Speaker 3>I don't like to lose, like anybody likes to lose, but I accept it.

00:20:35.798 --> 00:20:45.144
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes you do, and that's sort of acceptance of failure is part of the evolution to success, but I try to create win-win situations.

00:20:45.144 --> 00:20:46.619
<v Speaker 3>So go back to the interview.

00:20:46.619 --> 00:21:06.023
<v Speaker 3>For example, when I walk into an interview room and there's a guy who's sitting there he's been arrested for murder and he's sitting in my chair Right, my comfy fancy chair Am I going to ask him to move into his chair or am I just going to accept that that happened Right?

00:21:06.023 --> 00:21:09.826
<v Speaker 3>I would never fight somebody over a chair because if I said to the guy.

00:21:09.826 --> 00:21:13.724
<v Speaker 3>I'm moving to the other chair and he says no, what am I really going to do?

00:21:13.724 --> 00:21:14.878
<v Speaker 3>Dump him out of the chair?

00:21:14.878 --> 00:21:21.103
<v Speaker 3>You know it would not look good, it would right and I would lose that whole entire thing.

00:21:21.103 --> 00:21:35.103
<v Speaker 3>So, knowing that that is going to occur and that could get into a fight that I'm not going to be able to win, I end up sitting in his chair and continuing the interview right from the very beginning.

00:21:35.454 --> 00:21:44.005
<v Speaker 3>For ex-gads right and the relationship of causing a fact, though, overall is we rely on his police officer all the time.

00:21:44.005 --> 00:21:52.006
<v Speaker 3>You give sort of a certain stimulus in one instance and you see kind of how it falls out further down the road.

00:21:52.006 --> 00:21:59.141
<v Speaker 3>What I talked about in the book was the CSIF and that's that whole.

00:21:59.141 --> 00:22:00.925
<v Speaker 3>What we see on crime shows.

00:22:00.925 --> 00:22:19.872
<v Speaker 3>It could actually happen in real life, and what that is doing is it is training and educating members of the public that sit up for degrees of unrealistic expectations when it comes to investigation itself, like why couldn't you get the license plate number of the vehicles screaming away?

00:22:19.872 --> 00:22:21.130
<v Speaker 3>I saw it on a CSI episode.

00:22:24.070 --> 00:22:32.253
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think if I watch CSI episodes, I'm like there's no way I'm ever gonna commit a crime, cause they can find my DNA on any damn thing.

00:22:32.253 --> 00:22:35.915
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's like I think it's educated people to not do it.

00:22:35.915 --> 00:22:41.451
<v Speaker 2>Let's go to your inner Jedi then, cause I think that's another interesting aspect of what you look at.

00:22:44.125 --> 00:22:52.336
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I really like this idea of unleashing your inner Jedi, and what I believe is that we're all influenced by these.

00:22:52.336 --> 00:23:15.148
<v Speaker 3>You know social lore, I think we work to do, and once you understand what those are, you're more able to use them as a way of sort of persuading all into being along on the ride with you, right, and it helps you influence more positive outcomes in your own life.

00:23:15.148 --> 00:23:30.348
<v Speaker 3>So a lot of what unleashes your inner Jedi is about is a lot has to do with what Robert Kaldini originally spoke on when it comes to persuasion and the power of it.

00:23:30.348 --> 00:23:37.752
<v Speaker 3>But there are a number of things that we are persuaded by or used to can create us.

00:23:37.752 --> 00:23:40.814
<v Speaker 3>You know, scarcity is a salesman's secret weapon, right?

00:23:41.924 --> 00:23:47.108
<v Speaker 3>If you don't put down payment on this lot today, there was three other people that were coming by to look at it later.

00:23:47.108 --> 00:23:48.113
<v Speaker 3>So what do you do?

00:23:48.113 --> 00:23:49.830
<v Speaker 3>You put the down payment on the lot, why?

00:23:49.830 --> 00:23:52.372
<v Speaker 3>Because you feel compelled that you need to do this now.

00:23:52.372 --> 00:23:57.373
<v Speaker 3>The deal's only gonna last a certain period of time and then it's gonna be gone, right?

00:23:57.373 --> 00:24:11.423
<v Speaker 3>That's why people have limited time offers, all of these things kind of based around this idea of scarce, and so if you want to pressurize somebody, you create scarcity in the way you use your language.

00:24:11.423 --> 00:24:16.525
<v Speaker 3>Whatever that would be right In an interview room, for example, where I'm talking to a bad guy.

00:24:16.525 --> 00:24:20.184
<v Speaker 3>It would be along the idea that today is your day.

00:24:20.184 --> 00:24:30.424
<v Speaker 3>You're not gonna get another day to explain what happened or you could give your side of the story, those kinds of things.

00:24:30.644 --> 00:24:57.865
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, once you understand persuasion and some of the influencers' likability, reciprocity, this sort of idea of conformity or group sync there's a variety of them, but they all behave in a way that actually changes the way we behave in different ways and you can see it plays out in all sorts of our lives.

00:24:57.865 --> 00:25:22.000
<v Speaker 3>A really benign example if you go to the mall later today and somebody opens the door for you as you're walking in the mall, I know you're gonna get clumsy and a lot of sorts, but you're gonna jump forward to open the door for them if it's a basketball On the second door, yeah, yeah you know you do it and why do you do it Because we don't like the feeling of owning somebody else.

00:25:22.385 --> 00:25:29.084
<v Speaker 3>This year I was giving out just a few Christmas gifts to different people, just a little ball of wine.

00:25:29.084 --> 00:25:42.124
<v Speaker 3>I went to one house and I gave them the bottle of wine and you knew that they didn't have anything for you, but they had actually five or six presents stacked up by the tree with a card on it and they said here you go, it was a ball of wine.

00:25:42.124 --> 00:25:44.883
<v Speaker 3>And they said here you go, it was a box of chocolates.

00:25:44.883 --> 00:25:53.691
<v Speaker 3>Right, but it's because they don't like that feeling of owning something just or receiving a gift that they can't reciprocate back.

00:25:53.691 --> 00:26:02.896
<v Speaker 3>So they actually go out and buy five or six boxes of chocolates and just leave them at the door where anybody that does show up, like me, to give them a bottle of wine, got it Right, got it.

00:26:03.218 --> 00:26:03.638
<v Speaker 2>It's funny.

00:26:03.638 --> 00:26:06.164
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, You're on the Big Success podcast.

00:26:06.164 --> 00:26:07.872
<v Speaker 2>We're gonna be back in just a moment.

00:26:07.872 --> 00:26:12.452
<v Speaker 2>We're gonna dive into a couple of specific cases and the lessons that Dave took from them.

00:26:12.452 --> 00:26:14.650
<v Speaker 2>Make sure you hit that subscribe button.

00:26:14.650 --> 00:26:15.172
<v Speaker 2>We'll be back.

00:26:16.184 --> 00:26:21.770
<v Speaker 4>With 25 years of policing experience, detective Dave Sweet has investigated some of Canada's most heinous crimes.

00:26:21.770 --> 00:26:29.155
<v Speaker 4>In 2023, stark Publishing launched Dave's first book Skeletons in my Closet 101 Life Lessons from a Homicide Detective.

00:26:29.155 --> 00:26:32.811
<v Speaker 4>To learn more about Dave's suite, please visit unconventionalclassroomca.

00:26:32.811 --> 00:26:34.148
<v Speaker 4>We're back.

00:26:35.184 --> 00:26:37.271
<v Speaker 2>Dave, I gotta ask.

00:26:37.271 --> 00:26:42.184
<v Speaker 2>First of all, I do love the fact that it's Dave Sweet and Brad Sugar's on this podcast.

00:26:42.184 --> 00:26:50.990
<v Speaker 2>That's kind of a very cool thing and you know, although your career your career is definitely a lot more fun stories there's one particular case.

00:26:50.990 --> 00:26:54.084
<v Speaker 2>Well, let's go back Longest case to get a conviction.

00:26:54.084 --> 00:26:57.432
<v Speaker 2>How many years was one of the longest ones?

00:26:59.729 --> 00:27:02.184
<v Speaker 3>Oh I, you know, probably three years.

00:27:03.047 --> 00:27:06.175
<v Speaker 2>How do you stay patient or persistent?

00:27:06.175 --> 00:27:09.875
<v Speaker 2>So how do you just keep going with that?

00:27:09.875 --> 00:27:11.109
<v Speaker 2>What's your theory on that?

00:27:13.646 --> 00:27:17.707
<v Speaker 3>Well you know, there's really, there's really, there's really.

00:27:17.707 --> 00:27:18.671
<v Speaker 3>You don't have an option.

00:27:19.445 --> 00:27:22.205
<v Speaker 3>An option to be patient, it's just.

00:27:22.205 --> 00:27:32.942
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, so the one that I'm thinking of was a young man that was.

00:27:32.942 --> 00:27:34.065
<v Speaker 3>He was.

00:27:34.065 --> 00:27:45.446
<v Speaker 3>He was murdered on Christmas Eve I think of 2015 and we made a recipe, believe in 2018, but he had been murdered.

00:27:45.446 --> 00:28:42.795
<v Speaker 3>It was, he had been involved and caught up with the the darker side of life, lived it on on the fringes and he was robbed, so money and drugs happened and he was killed and left in a vehicle and for months actually, I was going through that process and going down these different rabbit holes and following different red herring he was kind of working out and then eventually we got a favorable crime lab finding that came in that sort of pointed me in the direction where my suspects would be, and so over the course of the next several years, we had to construct this is something we do in Canada that's different than in the US, but we constructed a whole world of around him, of undercover police officers and and it over time they built up a relationship and he ended up, you know, eventually confessing to the crime to them.

00:28:44.498 --> 00:28:52.078
<v Speaker 3>But it just took a lot of time and patience all the way through that and, although it might be difficult for me, think about the family.

00:28:52.078 --> 00:28:54.844
<v Speaker 3>You know the family's in this situation.

00:28:54.844 --> 00:28:57.214
<v Speaker 3>They are also having to be incredibly patient.

00:28:57.214 --> 00:29:04.974
<v Speaker 3>When I think of family and patients, I think of the families out there that never, ever get an arrest in their case.

00:29:04.974 --> 00:29:11.344
<v Speaker 3>You know, in Calgary about we, we saw about 85% of our homicides.

00:29:11.344 --> 00:29:18.583
<v Speaker 3>That sounds pretty good but that means that two in 10 families are about two in 10 families don't ever get answers.

00:29:18.583 --> 00:29:25.606
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know there, there are cases out there where we have found bones, for example.

00:29:25.606 --> 00:29:29.638
<v Speaker 3>There's just not enough evidence to ever suggest how this person died in the first place.

00:29:29.638 --> 00:29:32.990
<v Speaker 3>Imagine the mystery kind of is around those families.

00:29:32.990 --> 00:29:38.991
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, how patient they have to be waiting for an outcome, everything yeah, now it's.

00:29:39.252 --> 00:29:46.252
<v Speaker 2>It's a weird way to look at it, but there's part of what you focus in on the book is it's almost goal setting.

00:29:46.252 --> 00:29:54.112
<v Speaker 2>But, like solving the puzzle, you keep going because you have a goal of actually deciding this thing.

00:29:54.112 --> 00:29:56.695
<v Speaker 2>Does that make it easier or harder?

00:29:56.695 --> 00:29:58.578
<v Speaker 2>What's your perspective on that?

00:29:58.578 --> 00:30:00.583
<v Speaker 2>You know you've got to solve this thing.

00:30:02.230 --> 00:30:11.323
<v Speaker 3>I mean, the goal is obviously always want to bring resolution to the family and it is actually true, like the thing that motivates us.

00:30:11.383 --> 00:30:24.452
<v Speaker 3>It's not a boss that's coming down and screaming down your throat when you need to solve this case, right, it says, in total thing, that's just in part of you that says you need to do this, but there I have to be breath.

00:30:24.452 --> 00:30:36.962
<v Speaker 3>There's, no, there's no better feeling in the world than the call of family, after years of them waiting for an answer, to be able to provide them that answer over a phone or having them come down to the office and you sit and down with them and talking to them.

00:30:36.962 --> 00:31:04.318
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's what every investigator waits for and lives for, is that opportunity to kind of give them some answers to a lot of the questions they didn't have prior, and so that is actually the very motivating force at least it was for me when it came to investing in crimes yeah, it's kind of interesting, though, and one of the things you allude to is actually having the goal, or knowing with absolute clarity this is the goal.

00:31:04.338 --> 00:31:17.222
<v Speaker 2>I need to find a solution for this, and the motivation behind it is one thing, but I think that you know, if I look at your, what you teach people aren't clear enough on their goals.

00:31:17.222 --> 00:31:19.325
<v Speaker 2>I think is probably the point you've made.

00:31:19.325 --> 00:31:22.434
<v Speaker 2>How do you help people get even clearer on their goals?

00:31:22.434 --> 00:31:24.317
<v Speaker 2>I mean, for you it was was obvious.

00:31:24.317 --> 00:31:25.500
<v Speaker 2>This guy got killed.

00:31:25.500 --> 00:31:27.544
<v Speaker 2>We got to find someone that did it, type thing.

00:31:27.544 --> 00:31:30.936
<v Speaker 2>How do you help people get much clearer on their goals?

00:31:32.340 --> 00:31:35.468
<v Speaker 3>well, I mean, it's always reminding ourselves of our purpose.

00:31:35.468 --> 00:31:38.493
<v Speaker 3>There's this really great.

00:31:38.493 --> 00:31:41.259
<v Speaker 3>I mean it goes back to ancient times.

00:31:41.259 --> 00:31:45.608
<v Speaker 3>I think it was Aristotle he came up with this idea of a personal ethos.

00:31:45.608 --> 00:31:53.482
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you ever heard of an ethos, but it's had the paper writing it all out what is your purpose?

00:31:53.482 --> 00:32:05.160
<v Speaker 3>Right, and if you have a clear vision what your purpose is, then a goals achieving goals become so much clearer and easier to do and things can be overcome.

00:32:05.420 --> 00:32:10.425
<v Speaker 3>Like one of my purposes and it's a very simple personal ethos that I have it's love people.

00:32:10.425 --> 00:32:34.275
<v Speaker 3>If I remember to love people, even the bad people, you know, that's what allows me to build connection in an interview room, that is what allows to deal with a family, that is what allows me and drives me to be a servant to my community, is this whole idea of being people, and it's a very, very simple ethos, but it's what my purpose is.

00:32:34.275 --> 00:32:50.204
<v Speaker 3>And so when I talk about resiliency and how to become adaptable or remain adaptable, things of that nature, what I'm asked as correct as people to consider is writing out what their purpose is now.

00:32:50.204 --> 00:32:53.406
<v Speaker 3>Then it can change over time, but it is a.

00:32:53.406 --> 00:33:05.753
<v Speaker 3>It is a really good way of kind of coming back and leveling what you're doing, you know, a good way of keeping you thinking forward.

00:33:06.501 --> 00:33:14.088
<v Speaker 2>Now, when Kevin first connected us and I read that about you that your ethos is to love people, I'm like I'm not sure I would be that strong.

00:33:14.088 --> 00:33:30.230
<v Speaker 2>Last question for the homicide side of things how did you keep your life and the homicide life separated, cause every TV show I've ever seen the homicide detective is messed up and crazy because of that.

00:33:30.230 --> 00:33:31.192
<v Speaker 2>How did you do that?

00:33:31.192 --> 00:33:34.730
<v Speaker 2>How did you keep that balance, I guess in your world?

00:33:36.599 --> 00:33:46.968
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean I'll tell you I've had some, a few scrapes, some bumps and bruises along the way, of course, but I was able to.

00:33:46.968 --> 00:33:49.765
<v Speaker 3>I mean, you always thought about the cases that you were working on.

00:33:49.765 --> 00:33:54.210
<v Speaker 3>They came home with you regularly but I had a.

00:33:54.210 --> 00:33:54.893
<v Speaker 3>I had a.

00:33:54.893 --> 00:33:59.449
<v Speaker 3>I had enjoyment on hobbies outside of work.

00:33:59.449 --> 00:34:01.688
<v Speaker 3>They didn't involve policing and that kind of thing.

00:34:01.799 --> 00:34:04.648
<v Speaker 3>One of the one of my escapes always was coaching.

00:34:04.648 --> 00:34:11.206
<v Speaker 3>You know, I had the opportunity to coach myself hockey for years and that was just sort of they just got you away from the office.

00:34:11.206 --> 00:34:26.389
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but it was such weird dichotomy because you know I could be at the autopsy of a young person that morning and that evening having a birthday party or celebrating a birthday or going to a hockey game or what have you.

00:34:26.389 --> 00:34:53.965
<v Speaker 3>It was such a weird like there was just pots of these trends, you know, but for whatever reason, I was able to kind of move through them relatively flawlessly and some people would say it's cause of our ability, or at least my ability, part of mental ice, so I was able to worry off the really terrible things that happened through the course of the day and still those terrible things in was sort of positive things and that's my main team.

00:34:53.965 --> 00:34:54.628
<v Speaker 3>It was.

00:34:55.079 --> 00:34:55.260
<v Speaker 2>Dave.

00:34:55.260 --> 00:35:00.927
<v Speaker 2>Final question what's the best advice you ever got or the best quote you ever read on the subject of success?

00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:09.391
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so actually I thought long and hard about it and I have to go back to my roots as a kid born in 73.

00:35:09.391 --> 00:35:12.806
<v Speaker 3>Do or do not, there is no try.

00:35:12.806 --> 00:35:28.050
<v Speaker 3>Yoda, that's a that's during the Yoda from Empire Strikes Back, yeah, but I think that that is a really good way of summarizing sort of how I view success, and I've always viewed it yeah.

00:35:28.059 --> 00:35:29.445
<v Speaker 2>This is the Big Success podcast.

00:35:29.445 --> 00:35:30.684
<v Speaker 2>I'm Brad Sugar's, your host.

00:35:30.684 --> 00:35:33.668
<v Speaker 2>Make sure you're back with us next week for more on success.

00:35:33.668 --> 00:35:35.324
<v Speaker 2>Make sure you follow Dave.

00:35:35.324 --> 00:35:38.768
<v Speaker 2>Learn, keep reading, keep studying and success will come to you.

00:35:38.768 --> 00:35:43.806
<v Speaker 2>Oh, and hit that subscribe button and that's the Big Success podcast for today.

00:35:43.806 --> 00:35:50.788
<v Speaker 2>Hopefully, you took a lot of notes, learned a whole bunch and, if you need to go re-listen to it, we dropped a lot of information right there today.

00:35:50.788 --> 00:35:53.168
<v Speaker 2>Big Success is what it's all about.

00:35:53.168 --> 00:35:55.864
<v Speaker 2>And, by the way, if you haven't subscribed, hit that subscribe button.

00:35:55.864 --> 00:35:59.907
<v Speaker 2>So you're here with us every single week on the Big Success podcast.

00:35:59.907 --> 00:36:00.708
<v Speaker 2>I'm Brad Sugar.

00:36:00.708 --> 00:36:01.331
<v Speaker 2>That's BS.

00:36:01.331 --> 00:36:03.367
<v Speaker 2>Big Success is what we're shooting for.

00:36:03.367 --> 00:36:06.027
<v Speaker 2>Check the show notes for all the links.

00:36:06.027 --> 00:36:08.889
<v Speaker 2>Make sure you follow through, keep learning, keep coming back.

00:36:08.889 --> 00:36:13.146
<v Speaker 2>Oh, and, by the way, share this with any of your friends who you know are up for success.

00:36:13.146 --> 00:36:15.786
<v Speaker 2>I'll see you next week on the Big Success podcast.

00:36:17.360 --> 00:36:22.943
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to the Big Success podcast with the number one business coach in the world, Brad Sugars.

00:36:22.943 --> 00:36:32.505
<v Speaker 1>To learn more about how to achieve business and personal success, as well as how to level up more less into past episodes, visit wwwbradsugarscom.