#36 Brandon

Jackie, I have some good news. Well, it seems like 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:11.600 there's some interest in turning the Heavyweight podcast into a 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:13.720 TV show. So I was just calling to see who 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:16.319 maybe you know who you want to play, Jackie. I 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:20.200 was thinking, you know, maybe Rita Marino. 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:21.599 Don John No one's gonna watch your show. 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:26.040 Baby, what did you say? You wait? 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:28.639 I'm confused on two counts. A that you would say 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:32.519 something so cruel and that b you would punctuate it 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:37.400 with babe. You know a lot of people believe in 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:47.680 this project. Why would you laugh at that? 0:00:49.040 --> 0:01:02.600 A lot of people believe in this project From Gimblet Media. 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:09.360 I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight Today's episode Brandon 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:17.000 right after the break. 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:26.800 Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on. 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:31.480 This is Brandon. He's thirty three years old and wearing 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:35.080 a suit and string tie. His wife, Megan is in 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:38.480 a sun dress, and together they're about to enter the 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:50.800 new Palestine High School prom. Megan is the school's our teacher, 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:54.960 but tonight she's chaperoning with Brandon as her date. She 0:01:55.040 --> 0:02:02.400 introduces him to the other teachers. At a certain point, 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.280 they're interrupted by the announcement of prom King and queens. 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:15.720 Students. 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:19.600 While Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:23.800 her colleagues, Brandon wanders off and observes the kids. Some 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:26.280 are dancing, some are lined up for the photo booth. 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:30.280 There are kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves. 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:36.640 But then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset, those aimless 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:40.600 kids wandering along the margins alone. They remind Brandon of 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:46.000 himself when he was a teenager and his own prom. 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:49.400 Brandon thinks about his prom a lot, and the improbable 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:52.320 path that led him to it, which began when he 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:53.360 was just a little kid. 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:59.160 Through middle school and junior high I had a lot 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:03.240 of bullying problems. That was kind of an easy target. 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.280 There were a number of things that made him one. 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:08.880 First, I'm like still a big guy now, but I was. 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.799 I was at my biggest in high school, heaviest. 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:17.240 Second, Brandon tried too hard to fit in. Like the 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:19.600 time he shaved a Nike swoosh into the back of 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:20.080 his head. 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:22.959 I just thought, like sports, that's that's cool. 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:26.560 So it made your head look like a running shoe exactly. 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:28.840 Yeah. I sat in front of this kid named Cyril, 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:32.799 and he said it looked like a hockey stick, and 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.240 that was enough that everyone was like, that's a hockey stick. 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:37.240 That is not a Nike swoosh. 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:41.320 Finally, Brandon was a Coda, a child of deaf adults. 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:44.320 His family attended a deaf church and spends a lot 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:46.920 of time in the deaf community. He says he was 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:49.000 brought up with different social norms. 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:54.800 Like volume, Like volume is not a concern around deaf 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:57.560 people and in a deaf environment, and then of course 0:03:57.560 --> 0:03:59.040 it is around hearing people. 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:00.320 So what is that mean? 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:06.120 Like any examples, Yeah, like school, where it's like time 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:09.080 to be quiet. I was just constantly talking to myself 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:11.840 or just vocalizing my thoughts, you know. 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:18.240 Then in middle school, Brandon's parents divorced. There was less 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:21.760 space for him, less attention paid to him. He drew inward. 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:24.920 I think I wanted to put off a harder like 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:28.640 you can't hurt me exterior than I really had on 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:35.080 the inside. So wearing hot topic clothes, spiky things, black clothes, 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.720 and trying to just like keep your hoodie on and 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:39.960 get through the day. 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:43.960 And for the most part, Brandon succeeded in going unnoticed 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:49.279 until the spring of his senior year, Brandon was sitting 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:51.679 at the back of a classroom during a free period, 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:56.080 eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room. Some classmates 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:58.440 were talking about a prom, and among the group was 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.280 a girl named Ali. She was going on about what 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:03.520 a great night it was going to be, how excited 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:03.919 she was. 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:08.279 She had like long blonde hair with highlights, big features, 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:11.840 like big eyes, She had a big smile. M. Yeah, 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:16.440 Like when she smiled, she looked really happy. And I 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:18.719 think she kind of pulled me into the conversation by 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:21.359 directing some of those questions at me, like are you 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.560 going to prom? Who are you going to prom with? 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:27.599 Brandon had no intention of going. He hadn't a girlfriend 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:30.719 or any prospects for a date, and he was confused 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:34.080 about why Ali was talking to him. Brandon says they'd 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:37.440 barely ever spoken. They were from totally different social worlds. 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:41.880 Ali was in student government. She was popular and beautiful. 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:48.719 She was just really well put together, clean, and you, M, no, 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:51.560 that's not a word I'd use to describe myself in 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:53.760 high school. I mean, like I would like smell my 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:56.240 clothes before I put them on in the morning, you know, 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.760 like I got dressed from the floor, okay, in my bedroom. 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:05.080 Yeah, and yet Ali kept throwing questions at him. Why 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:08.000 wasn't he going. If he did go, who would he take? 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:12.240 Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she turned back to her 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:15.800 friends and leave him alone, but instead she rose from 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.200 her seat and began striding towards him. 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:22.200 Inside, I was like, uh, like inflamed, do you know 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:24.640 what I mean? Like my heart my heart rate was rising. 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:30.240 With each question. Ali moved closer and closer until she 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:33.320 was sitting at the desk in front of him, facing him. 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:37.880 Then she did something that still flummixes Brandon fifteen years later. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:41.800 She just kind of outright said, take me to prom, Like, 0:06:41.920 --> 0:06:50.240 go to prom, take me, Let's go together. I immediately 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:54.880 had questions, questions like why, why me? What's going on? 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:56.960 I guess I was skeptical, this is some kind of trick. 0:06:57.360 --> 0:06:57.560 Hmm. 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:01.160 You know, why would you be asking me this other 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:03.840 than to setting me up for a punchline or something 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:09.560 like that. But no punchline really came, so I just agreed. 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.040 On the big night, Brandon met up with Ali and 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:15.200 her friends for a pre dance dinner at her friend 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:17.840 Jen's house. He was in the fancier part of town. 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:21.760 Brandon showed up wearing his rented suit with a corsage 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:25.480 and a bright blue necktie that matched Ali's stress. Before 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.440 leaving to the dance, everyone lined up for a group picture. 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:31.960 Did you like just feel like saying why the heck 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:35.000 am I here right? What happened? Was this a mistake? 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:40.080 Yeah? Yeah, I would have loved an answer to that question, 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:43.280 but I would never have thought, couldn't fathom saying it. 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:46.640 You know, do you still have that prom photo that 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:47.280 you guys took? 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:49.480 No? To be honest, I'm not even sure I ever 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.400 got it, so I don't think I ever even saw 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:51.920 that picture. 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:54.360 Hmm. 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:56.080 What do you think you would see in that photo? 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.400 I mean, just imagining it makes me laugh. 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:02.440 Yeah, why? 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:07.840 It would be a line of like beautiful high schoolers, 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:12.040 you know, and like me. There just feels like if 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:14.240 your eyes set on me for a little too long, 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:16.520 that maybe you'd be able to see that I didn't 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:16.840 fit in. 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:21.080 Aliander friends look like the girls in those movies about prom, 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:24.280 and those girls always had guys who gave them the 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:27.880 time of their lives. For Brandon, a sense of duty 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:28.360 kicked in. 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:32.240 It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like, this 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:34.800 is going to be a big deal in Alley's life forever, 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:37.199 and I have a big responsibility as her date to 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:40.080 make sure that I live up to this position. 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:41.559 Hmm. 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.120 I was really really nervous. 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:47.559 Did did you guys? Did did you and Nally slow dance? 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:51.440 I'd pretty feel like I feel like when I asked 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:55.959 these questions, I feel like Hannibal Lecter, like I'm asking 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:58.480 these questions from a straight jacket in a cell. Did 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:00.560 you slow dance? Did you slow dance? 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:04.360 I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking, like, 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:07.600 it's funny that in TV shows and in movies, this 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:10.480 is such a big deal, but it's just standing like 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.760 you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah, Like that's 0:09:13.800 --> 0:09:16.400 not hard. Like I was in like a hip hop 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.199 dance crew and youth group. You know that was hard? 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:21.520 Wait, you were in a sorry repeat that you were 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:24.400 in a hip hop dance youth group. 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:27.520 What? Yeah? So the church I went to was just 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:32.400 like through a lot of performances and hip hop dance 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:33.920 that happened. 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:38.000 Did you ever at any point break out any of 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:40.960 your Christian youth group hip hop move on the dance floor? 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:43.400 Do you do anything like on the floor, like where 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:46.120 you spin on your back, or you didn't. You didn't 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.920 want to ruin the rental. You learned to get your deposit. 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:58.040 At the prom, Brandon pop for the Lord and locked 0:09:58.040 --> 0:10:01.439 for the Lord. He made Allie's friend laugh. And it 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:03.880 was right there on the dance floor, the place one 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:05.840 might expect a high school boy to feel the most 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:09.440 self conscious, that Brandon felt most at ease. He was 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:12.079 a part of the group, of a group. 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:15.360 That kind of felt like a resolution of what all 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:17.560 of Greade school was like for me. You know, I 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.200 never felt safe enough to bring my true self into 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:25.000 that space. But like, dancing around at prom with your 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:26.920 peers is like one of the most vulnerable things you 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:28.760 can do, and it came out on the other end 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:33.840 of it, okay. 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:37.160 At the end of the prom, Ali and all her 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:39.840 friends headed to one of their classmates' houses for the 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:42.800 after party, but having never been to a house party, 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:46.440 Brandon decided not to go. Do you remember saying goodbye 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:46.800 to Ali? 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:47.960 No? 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:51.079 And then what happened after that? Do you recall speaking 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:53.720 with her singer in school after that night? 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:57.680 I had to have because we both went back to school, 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:01.560 But I don't have any specific memories of talking to 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:02.000 her again. 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:05.439 PROM is supposed to stay with you for the rest 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:09.600 of your life, and for Brandon it has but eclipsing 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:12.240 the dancing, the music. The last night out with his 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:14.640 peers is a lingering question. 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.160 Which was, like, why me out of all the people 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:20.080 that you could be going with. Maybe it was one 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.960 of those situations where all of these people out there 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:25.240 are thinking, well, Ali's taken, She's totally going to problem 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:27.320 with somebody already, I'll have to ask somebody else, you know, 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:30.360 and then leaves her without a PROM date. If that 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:34.760 was what was going on. Maybe maybe she just had 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:39.680 a breakup. Maybe I was part of a charity case. 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:43.360 So you want to ask her why why did she 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:44.400 pick you? 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:49.480 Yeah, exactly, I want to know that. Yeah. Without her, 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:52.160 I wouldn't have gone to PROM. It would have just 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.120 been another thing on my list of things I regret 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:57.000 from high school, you know, But it's not on that list. 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:02.800 It's on the shorter list of things that I feel. Okay, Yeah, 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:04.400 I'd like to thank her. 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:10.559 I'm just nervous, which is why Brandon has reached out 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:12.760 to me. If you get nervous, I mean, I can 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:16.679 always jump in sure, I've just assumed I'm going to 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:22.959 be coming along to chaperone. After the break, I chaperone 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:42.840 Brandon back to high school. Before Brandon can ask Ali 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.560 the question that's been on his mind since senior year, 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:49.040 we first need to track her down. Her last name 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:54.640 is Schmartz Schmutz. I'm just making that Brandon's part of 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:57.720 a Facebook group for his high school graduating class, and 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:00.280 Ali's a member of the group as well. Does that 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.840 mean that you can have a better chance of messaging 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:04.120 or through that group? 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.640 I mean, like, if I were going to use the group, 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:11.840 it would be making a post for my whole graduating classes. 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:15.240 Might as well go big, like say, hey, I'm just 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:16.839 going to put this out there to everybody. 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:19.360 Yeah, if you're not Ali, please don't read this. 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:23.440 But Ali, I just want to say, Hey, hit me up. 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.160 Here are my digits. Everybody else, just lose this number. 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:29.319 Maybe Facebook friend her. 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:31.520 I could do that. Yeah, I'd have to change my 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.000 name on Facebook. My name hasn't been my real name 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:35.040 for a long time. 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:38.000 What's the name that you operate under? 0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:40.440 Oak Tree? 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:46.079 Just oak Tree, just oak Tree. I can't even find 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:47.880 you as brand. I'd have to look up oak Tree. 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.120 That's right. I was kind of playing with what kinds 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:53.240 of words it lets me have as a name? 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.520 Can you change your name from oak Tree to Brandon? 0:13:57.840 --> 0:13:59.280 Probably a good idea. 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.240 Then you don't have to start with a whole rigmarole 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:04.240 about how like my name's not really oak Tree. This 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:07.000 is Brandon, by the way, you remember from high school. 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.040 And so the mighty oak Tree sheds his leaves and 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:15.400 his name, and the Mighty Brandon sends Ali a friend request. 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:23.000 A week later, Brandon texts with an update. Ali has 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.120 accepted his friendship. Now he just needs to send her 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:29.600 a message. Okay, so you've crafted something already. 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:34.160 Yeah, would you could you read it? Sure? Yeah? Hi Ali? 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:36.800 Good? 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:37.240 So far? 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:39.520 Casual? 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:40.320 Okay? Cool? 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:41.960 Go ahead? 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:45.080 Yeah, Hi Ali. Maybe you'll remember me. We were prom 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:46.000 dates our senior. 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:49.120 As Brandon reads me a draft, I focus my Keen 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:50.960 podcast producer's ear. 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:53.480 By my recollection. It was your idea for us to 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:54.320 go to prom together. 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:58.760 Now let me pause, sorry, let me hit pause there. Yeah, 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:01.560 like the way that you're underlining your idea, you're not 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:06.440 actually underlining that, though I did italicize it. It was 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:10.200 your idea for us to go to prom. 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:10.600 Together. 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:11.480 Is that what you're saying. 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:15.600 Yeah, it sounds accusatory out loud. Yeah, so me. 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.760 Yeah, maybe we'll do italicize that part. Okay, keep going. 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:23.160 Brandon tells Ali that he still thinks about their prom. 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:25.360 He says he wants to talk to her about it. 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:28.480 Would you be up for that? Okay, Okay, let's take 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:30.240 a look at this here. Okay, so maybe I'll remember. 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:33.240 As Brandon and I pour over the message, a worry 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:35.960 suddenly pops into my head. I wonder if there's a 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.640 way to work in the fact that you're married, you know. 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.480 How about just I'm married? But I'll just start with it. Hey, listen, 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:44.720 I'm taking speaking. 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:46.600 As a married man. Me and my wife are wondering. 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.960 That is my wife and I. We were wondering the 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.520 other night after making love. 0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:59.240 Yeah, to be doing good work, and I hope you're well. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:15:59.960 All the best. 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:04.520 Once we've crafted the perfect message, Brandon readies himself to 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:05.160 hits end. 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:06.920 Should I go ahead and do it? 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:09.640 Yeah, let's do it. Go ahead, HiT's end. 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:11.640 Enter, it's sent. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:21.800 Congratulations, thank you. A week later, Alli writes back, she's 0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:22.760 willing to talk. 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:26.840 So that's good. It's a positive response. 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:33.360 I look at you. You're you're You're giddy, You're giddy 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:34.160 with expectation. 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.480 Yeah. Can you tell to keep wiping my face and 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:39.360 touching my eyes? 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:45.760 Would it be fun to do it on a video call? Sure? Sure? 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:46.320 Yeah. 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:48.040 Do you still have the suit that you wore to 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:52.560 your prom I'll be like, I never took it off. 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:58.240 Any things that you want me to bring up, just 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:03.120 kind of like conversationally, words or any upcoming projects that 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:04.560 you want to promote or. 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.680 No, keep it organic whatever. 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:10.280 Cool cool, I can keep it organic cool. 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:20.199 Yeah. 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:24.280 Hello, Hello, I'm getting a little bit of static on 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:24.760 your end. 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:26.480 Yeah. Hello better. 0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:29.320 Yeah. On the day of the video call with Ali 0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:31.960 Brandon and I get on early and wait. 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:35.960 It feels like I'm getting back into the psyche of 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:40.680 my high school self. Like I'm hi, Hi, Allie, Hi, 0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:42.720 how are you good? 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.439 Allie smiles a big smile full of big white teeth. 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.879 She's wearing a blue pattern blouse that matches the blue 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:51.640 of her nails. 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:54.119 I'll just tell you what I've seen on your profile. 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:55.760 You live in Carmel and you have a baby. 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:58.639 I have two daughters, a three year old and a 0:17:58.640 --> 0:17:59.200 two year old. 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:01.240 Awesome, they're right here on my. 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.720 Wall, Brandon and Alley catch up. 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:05.880 The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.639 a feet. It's recruiting, but there's like a sales element. 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:10.400 And then of course the grandparents are here. 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.919 Yeah. I figured that was part of it, just a family. 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:14.120 It's a huge reason there. 0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:15.200 They're always willing to. 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:21.200 Brandon's question hasn't gotten any easier to ask since high school. 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.520 In fact, it's gotten harder. After a pause of a 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:29.520 few minutes or even a few days, one can feign casualness, 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:33.560 by the way, why'd you choose me? But to ask 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:36.720 after fifteen years, there's no way to buy the way 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:41.040 your way through it. But eventually, so. 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:42.200 Can I ask you some questions? 0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:42.959 Absolutely? 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:47.399 I guess first, like, what are your memories of me 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:48.399 in high school? 0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:50.760 Yeah? So, I was trying to think of this. Did 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:53.000 we ever have any classes together? 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:54.479 Probably not? 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.640 Yeah, So we met senior year, right. 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:02.119 I think so doesn't remember much, but one thing she 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.320 does remember is that day in the back of the 0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:05.800 classroom we. 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:08.040 Were talking about prom, you know, as seniors do, and 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:10.400 I think you had you were like not into going 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:12.639 to prom right, and You're like, no, I'm not gonna go. 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:13.120 Yeah. 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:15.080 I remember, like you had to really spell it out. 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:19.119 You were like, are you going to prom? They're not okay? 0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.680 Like if you were, would you be going with someone? No? Okay? 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:25.360 And then eventually you were like you and me can 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:27.760 go to prom? Like why don't we go to prom? 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:28.800 You know? 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:34.200 And then Brandon asks this question sort of. 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:39.720 Like at any point did you consider having having someone 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:40.600 else as a date? 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.760 Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself. 0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:47.920 So I don't have any memories of thinking like I'm 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:49.840 gonna ask Brandon and then if that doesn't work, I'm 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:51.840 gonna ask so and so they're just kind of like 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:52.679 I'm asked Brandon. 0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:58.399 That is surprising, I guess because I thought like that. 0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:00.719 It was like spur of the moment. Your friends were 0:20:00.760 --> 0:20:02.480 hearing this for the first time too. 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.679 No, no, I was very obsessed with my friends, so 0:20:05.920 --> 0:20:08.119 I'm sure that I ran it by them. So you 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:09.280 passed the friend test. 0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:16.520 Brandon grows quiet. It wasn't a prank. It wasn't pity. 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:20.560 Ali planned to ask him. What's more, she wasn't going 0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:21.720 to take no for an answer. 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.719 I do remember, like you did say no. I remember 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.040 you saying no, and I'm like, oh, yeah, but give 0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:29.480 him a day. I'm gonna make him go. He's gonna 0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:36.000 go with me. But yeah, you were just surprised by 0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:37.040 the fact that I asked you. 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:43.200 I mean, yeah, definitely hmm. 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:47.399 Alie pauses trying to find the right words. 0:20:48.600 --> 0:20:50.600 You made me laugh a lot, and I remember that 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:53.320 you were just, you know, fun to be around and goofy, 0:20:53.400 --> 0:20:55.600 and you smiled at me a lot. I remember that, 0:20:55.960 --> 0:21:01.680 you know, like I liked being around you, and if 0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:04.440 I made a joke, you would laugh at it, you know, maybe. 0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:12.760 Feel like I was funny, which is a great quality. 0:21:13.520 --> 0:21:14.520 You got me a corsage. 0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:15.000 I remember that. 0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:17.320 I remember not expecting you to get me a corsage. 0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:20.399 I'm thinking that was really nice. I do remember that. 0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:22.359 Isn't that silly? But like, I don't remember a lot, 0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:23.200 but I remember that. 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:27.520 So you know, I'm going to be a little blunt 0:21:27.560 --> 0:21:33.359 here because sure, was there anything else to it? Like 0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:36.400 what was there an element of something romantic? 0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:42.280 So we probably flirted, right, But I don't know. I mean, 0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:47.359 friendship is really just the main feeling that I can recall. 0:21:49.640 --> 0:21:52.760 I'm not saying that there wasn't you know. I mean, 0:21:53.840 --> 0:21:56.359 I don't know. You're a teenager, You're feeling all kinds 0:21:56.359 --> 0:21:58.960 of things. I'm sure there were moments where I was like, oh, 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.280 is this you know, was this turning into this? 0:22:02.920 --> 0:22:04.920 Yeah? That? 0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:05.280 Uh. 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:09.200 I think that I would have found that really hard 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.320 to believe as a kid, you know, that would have 0:22:12.359 --> 0:22:15.720 gone against the narrative of school and what people thought 0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:16.720 of me that I had. 0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:21.680 I don't know. I guess to some extent, I knew 0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:25.880 that we were I want to be honest, I knew 0:22:25.880 --> 0:22:28.520 that there was some people were surprised by the fact 0:22:28.560 --> 0:22:31.840 that we were going together, right. I do remember one 0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:35.639 time when I told some dude in my physics class 0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:38.320 I can't remember, that was going with Brandon and they're like, wait, 0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:41.720 what And I was like yeah, and they're like that's weird, 0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:43.080 and I'm like, you're weird. 0:22:45.119 --> 0:22:45.280 Well. 0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:48.760 Brandon remembers himself as a misfit. Allie remembers someone who 0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:50.480 was different than a lot of the other guys in 0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:54.119 high school. Brandon made rye jokes, he was sweet and 0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:58.400 self deprecating. She remembers things that Brandon doesn't. She says 0:22:58.440 --> 0:23:01.040 there was one time Brandon did a whole monologue about 0:23:01.040 --> 0:23:03.199 how he found it hard to drive because of his 0:23:03.280 --> 0:23:07.159 fear of hitting birds. In other words, Allie asked him 0:23:07.160 --> 0:23:10.320 to prom for the one reason Brandon never considered. She 0:23:10.480 --> 0:23:11.520 just wanted to go with him. 0:23:12.960 --> 0:23:16.080 Did you have a good time? Eproum? Because I really 0:23:16.119 --> 0:23:18.359 wanted that for you. I spent a lot of time thinking, like, 0:23:19.119 --> 0:23:20.720 that's my role on the date. Here I go. 0:23:20.840 --> 0:23:25.240 You know, yeah, Allie grows thoughtful. 0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:28.480 I guess I didn't even think that, because I mean, 0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:32.439 I talked you into it, right, so then here you 0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:36.639 are kind of not stuck, but like, yeah, feeling like 0:23:36.680 --> 0:23:39.520 you wanted to make it special for me because I 0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:42.000 was the one that was all about it. Yeah, I 0:23:42.000 --> 0:23:45.919 guess I never even thought about that. I just think, Brandon, 0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:48.320 You're You're just so much more thoughtful, you know, I 0:23:50.119 --> 0:23:53.400 just thoughtful about the whole experience. And I do want 0:23:53.440 --> 0:23:55.320 to thank you because that's so nice that you were 0:23:55.440 --> 0:23:57.640 thinking it was your duty to try to make sure 0:23:57.680 --> 0:23:58.879 I had the problem I wanted to have. 0:24:00.119 --> 0:24:05.520 Yeah, I honestly didn't even expect to be thanked from 0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:09.760 you for anything. I feel like I have to thank 0:24:09.800 --> 0:24:13.520 you because there's something really simple and superficial about this, 0:24:13.600 --> 0:24:16.359 but it felt really real that I finished high school 0:24:16.640 --> 0:24:19.560 as a person who went to prom. I got to go. 0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:23.639 I got to have a fun time and forget the 0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:25.080 misfit feelings I was having. 0:24:25.800 --> 0:24:28.000 That's awesome. That's so awesome to hear you say that. 0:24:28.000 --> 0:24:35.960 That's really nice. 0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:43.679 My life started to really just like blossom and grow. 0:24:43.880 --> 0:24:46.240 I guess from like the moment high school was over. 0:24:46.800 --> 0:24:50.720 And I guess I can't say for certain what that 0:24:50.760 --> 0:24:52.679 part of my life would have looked like had I 0:24:52.720 --> 0:24:55.720 not had the problem experience, but I can't say it 0:24:55.760 --> 0:24:56.720 was totally irrelevant. 0:24:58.480 --> 0:25:01.000 Was it out of that and kind of like into 0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:04.000 that period that you ended up meeting your wife Meghan? 0:25:04.480 --> 0:25:07.160 Yeah, it was like that phase of life when Meghan 0:25:07.240 --> 0:25:09.919 I met her. 0:25:10.040 --> 0:25:10.760 Dress is so cute. 0:25:10.800 --> 0:25:11.800 She looks beautiful. 0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:15.600 This is Megan Brandon's wife looking at a photo a 0:25:15.680 --> 0:25:16.800 valley from prom night. 0:25:17.200 --> 0:25:17.920 She looks amazing. 0:25:18.040 --> 0:25:21.280 She looks great. After getting off the video call, Ali 0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:24.480 sent the group photo from prom, Megan studies it while 0:25:24.520 --> 0:25:25.600 seated beside Brandon. 0:25:26.160 --> 0:25:28.199 It's also like, so cute to see you flanked by 0:25:28.200 --> 0:25:30.320 these Like I mean, I'm sorry, they're in high school, 0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:31.760 so I don't really feel like should be calling them 0:25:31.760 --> 0:25:33.440 hot babes, but you know what I mean, Like from 0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:35.879 the high school perspective, you. 0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:40.600 Lucky looking man. But as Brandon looks at the photo, 0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:43.359 I imagine it isn't his day to the other kids 0:25:43.359 --> 0:25:46.040 that he's focused on so much as he's focused on 0:25:46.080 --> 0:25:48.360 the big guy in the middle and all the baggage 0:25:48.400 --> 0:25:49.280 that guy was carrying. 0:25:49.720 --> 0:25:51.680 There's a lot of weird stuff about like my weight 0:25:51.760 --> 0:25:56.399 and growing up, like dieting, and like my mom like 0:25:56.440 --> 0:25:59.320 putting me on a scale and it was like, you're 0:25:59.400 --> 0:26:04.560 over this line. You know, you're unattractive, and what does 0:26:04.600 --> 0:26:05.960 it make you to feel? 0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:08.120 Like Megan to hear that, it. 0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:09.280 Makes me feel very protective. 0:26:09.400 --> 0:26:09.879 For sure. 0:26:12.400 --> 0:26:14.520 I think if we don't, we. 0:26:14.560 --> 0:26:17.560 Really really get into squabbles. But if ever we do, 0:26:19.040 --> 0:26:22.080 what really disarms me is like thinking about that like 0:26:22.160 --> 0:26:26.480 little like young Brandon, I feel like that happened not 0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:27.679 even that long ago. Do you remember we were like 0:26:27.680 --> 0:26:30.119 standing at the kitchen and I started crying, and I 0:26:30.160 --> 0:26:32.120 was just like I had been so resentful and mad 0:26:32.160 --> 0:26:33.919 at you for a minute, and then I just like 0:26:34.000 --> 0:26:36.400 was imagining you being like a little kid and having 0:26:36.440 --> 0:26:38.760 other like adults in his life not really tend to 0:26:38.880 --> 0:26:40.880 like the difficulties of that as well as. 0:26:40.800 --> 0:26:41.520 They should have. 0:26:42.920 --> 0:26:46.360 I think about him just having to like navigate those 0:26:46.400 --> 0:26:47.560 insecurities alone. 0:26:51.160 --> 0:26:54.399 But Brandon no longer has to navigate them alone. A 0:26:54.440 --> 0:26:57.679 few weeks ago, before chaperoning the prom with Megan, Brandon 0:26:57.720 --> 0:26:59.960 went to the tailor. He wanted to wear his weddings 0:27:00.480 --> 0:27:01.720 and needed her to let it out. 0:27:02.320 --> 0:27:04.480 She was like down on her knees, like looking at it, 0:27:04.560 --> 0:27:07.200 pulling the pants in different ways, and then said, okay, 0:27:07.200 --> 0:27:09.160 go ahead and open the pants up so I can 0:27:09.240 --> 0:27:15.920 see how much we can let out. And I don't 0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:18.560 know why, but I wasn't wearing underwear. I didn't wear 0:27:18.640 --> 0:27:21.800 underwear to the tailor. I guess I didn't think that 0:27:21.840 --> 0:27:28.520 she was going to be asking that. So yeah, she 0:27:28.640 --> 0:27:31.760 asked me to open the pants and I was like 0:27:32.359 --> 0:27:35.720 right now, and she's like, yep, go ahead, and I 0:27:35.800 --> 0:27:42.600 just said, I can't do that right now, if you 0:27:42.640 --> 0:27:48.439 know what I mean. Wow, I know, I know, and 0:27:48.480 --> 0:27:50.560 I don't think. I'm honestly not sure if she knew 0:27:50.560 --> 0:27:53.959 what I meant. But she dropped it and said, Okay, 0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:56.000 I think we'll just let it out all the way 0:27:56.040 --> 0:28:00.919 and that'll probably be enough. It was off. It was awful. 0:28:01.760 --> 0:28:04.439 Brandon was spiraling so as soon as he left, he 0:28:04.520 --> 0:28:07.639 sent Megan a text at school asking her to call him, and. 0:28:07.680 --> 0:28:09.359 When she called me, I was fixing a flat. I 0:28:09.359 --> 0:28:11.119 got a flat tire on the way home. It was 0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:15.080 just like a shitty afternoon. So I was fixing a 0:28:15.119 --> 0:28:17.520 flat and telling her what it was like at the tailor. 0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:21.320 And then we hung up. And then she texted me 0:28:21.440 --> 0:28:26.359 later and just said like, I love you, and I 0:28:26.400 --> 0:28:32.280 love the way your body looks, and I don't think 0:28:32.280 --> 0:28:33.560 it's weird that you didn't wear underwear. I don't we 0:28:33.640 --> 0:28:35.560 underwear either. It was just like a you know what 0:28:35.600 --> 0:28:41.480 I mean. She was supportive. That fixed it almost immediately 0:28:41.640 --> 0:28:41.880 for me. 0:28:43.880 --> 0:28:44.040 Hm. 0:28:47.240 --> 0:28:48.520 Well, I taught him to go commando. 0:28:48.600 --> 0:28:50.160 So I feel partially responsible. 0:28:55.480 --> 0:28:58.640 What did you make of Brandon's question that he's had 0:28:58.640 --> 0:29:02.240 through the years, Why did Ali invite him to the 0:29:02.280 --> 0:29:03.560 prom in the first place? 0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:08.320 It didn't have to be a mystery. It makes perfect 0:29:08.400 --> 0:29:12.280 sense to me that somebody who looks like Ali could 0:29:12.520 --> 0:29:14.320 like the person who she's standing next to. 0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:15.800 You. 0:29:19.280 --> 0:29:22.640 Brandon says the biggest difference between his two proms was 0:29:22.640 --> 0:29:25.440 that with Megan, he didn't spend the whole night wondering 0:29:25.480 --> 0:29:28.840 why the person by his side had chosen him. He's 0:29:28.880 --> 0:29:30.080 just happy she did. 0:29:30.560 --> 0:29:32.160 I was comfortable the whole time. 0:29:32.440 --> 0:29:34.160 How could you not be comfortable? I mean you weren't 0:29:34.200 --> 0:30:24.320 wearing underpants. Now that the furnitures returning to its goodwill. 0:30:23.960 --> 0:30:32.400 Home, now that the last month's rent is scheming. 0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:36.560 With the damage to pozzle, take this moment to dissolve. 0:30:38.680 --> 0:30:44.080 If we meant it, if we tried, but felt around 0:30:44.200 --> 0:30:45.840 for far to work. 0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:49.440 From things that accidentally. 0:30:54.920 --> 0:30:57.520 This episode of Heavyweight was produced by Stevie Lane, along 0:30:57.520 --> 0:31:01.640 with me Jonathan Goldstein, and Mohemy mcgauga. Our senior producer 0:31:01.680 --> 0:31:06.040 is Khalila Holt. Special thanks to Emilyconton, Alex Bloomberg, Sharon Mashihi, 0:31:06.200 --> 0:31:10.120 mime O'donald, Jessica Young, and Jackie Cohen. Bobby Lord mixed 0:31:10.120 --> 0:31:13.520 the episode with original music by Christine Fellows, John K. Sampson, 0:31:13.600 --> 0:31:17.400 Michael Hurst, The Jacoby Family Band, and Bobby Lord. Additional 0:31:17.480 --> 0:31:20.400 music credits can be found on our website, Gimletmedia dot 0:31:20.440 --> 0:31:23.560 com slash Heavyweight. Our theme song is by the Weaker 0:31:23.600 --> 0:31:25.680 Than's courtesy of Epitaph Records. 0:31:26.040 --> 0:31:26.680 Follow us on. 0:31:26.640 --> 0:31:29.840 Twitter at Heavyweight or email us at Heavyweight at gimletmedia 0:31:29.880 --> 0:31:33.680 dot com we'll be back with a new episode next week. 0:31:51.600 --> 0:31:54.719 Like we just like goof real easy, like making up 0:31:54.760 --> 0:32:00.680 weird songs, doing weird shit like slap just like gonna say, 0:32:00.840 --> 0:32:06.640 slapping each other's passes, but just like being stupid together, 0:32:06.720 --> 0:32:10.040 which that's a corny or something, but like playing around 0:32:10.160 --> 0:32:11.040 all of the time,