Proxy with Yowei Shaw

The case of the podcast host who can't speak bro.

For the past twelve years, Yowei has been trying — and failing — to have a normal conversation with her husband's best friend. It's not for lack of goodwill. But somehow, every time, they can''t find a rhythm. Yowei's theory: he speaks bro, and she doesn't know how. 

In this episode, Yowei finds a proxy bro and gets a crash course in bro banter — the hidden rules and emotional logic behind the joking, shit-talking, and conversations that can last for hours without a single life update.  

From the episode:

— Jason Stewart — podcaster, DJ, and co-host of How Long Gone. Follow him on Instagram and X @themjeans.

— Scott Kiesling — professor of linguistics at the University of Pittsburgh, whose work explores masculinity and how men use talk to build relationships and their identities. Learn more at sfkiesling.com.

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or try The First Ever Extrovert-Introvert Cage Match — another case about what happens when friends have different ideas of what connection looks like

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the dog trainer who stopped feeling close to her own dogs. 

Jane's whole life has been dogs. Doggie daycare, animal rescue, behavior modification, fostering, training — dogs were the place she felt most at home. Which is why Jane is so disturbed by what's happening now. She still takes care of her two dogs. She still loves them. But the feeling is gone. 

In this episode, Yowei finds a proxy who helps Jane investigate the emotional aftermath of animal caregiving — the burnout, anticipatory grief, and compassion fatigue that can make even love start to feel like another demand.

Please note: This story contains a brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, call or text 988, or text HOME to 741741.

Featuring Jen Blough, LPC — therapist, compassion fatigue educator, and author of To Save a Starfish. Learn more at animalwelfarewellness.com.

Funding for this story was provided by the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, as part of its “Spreading Love Through the Media” initiative, supported by the John Templeton Foundation.

Resources on compassion fatigue, pet caregiving, and pet loss:

—Compassion fatigue resources from ASPCApro

—Pet caregiver burden resources from Insight Animal Behavior Services

—Cornell Pet Loss Support Hotline

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy or Brian Can't Stop Fact-Checking His Mother-In-Law.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Caitlin Myer, a writer who relied on her internal narrator... until one day it disappeared. 

Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one.

From the episode: 

— Caitlin Myer — author of Wiving— support her on Patreon and learn more: www.caitlinmyer.com

— Greta Morgan — author of The Lost Voice — sign up for her Patreon and newsletter: www.gretamorganmusic.com

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you alone

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Once upon a time, Yowei felt embarrassed to have a boyfriend—not because of him, but because of what it said about her. 

This story comes from the Love Letters podcast. Listen to more of their episodes here. 

Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one.

New to Proxy? Start with Bisexual Wife Guy — it’s one of the clearest examples of what this show does.

Nicole is an organizer who's good at channeling her anger. The problem is she can't always downshift. 

Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one.

From the episode: 

— Deborah Gould — Professor and Chair of Sociology at UC Santa Cruz, and author of Moving Politics: Emotion and ACT UP's Fight Against AIDS

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Zakiya Used to Be So Fun — on missing a version of yourself you can’t quite get back

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Erin wants to forgive the person she's holding a grudge against, but doesn't know how. Is it possible to just disappear resentment?

From the episode: 

— Find Robert Enright — find his forgiveness program and free resources at the International Forgiveness Institute: www.internationalforgiveness.com

— Read his book Forgiveness Is A Choice: A Step-By-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope 

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or JC's Kids Won't Talk To Her — when your version of a relationship doesn't match theirs

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Yaroslava’s town in Ukraine was taken by Russians. She's now safe in the US. But how do you make a new life when you feel guilty about not being home?

From the episode: 

— Dignity Beyond Borders — learn more about their work: www.dignitybeyondborders.org, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn: @dignitybeyondborders

— Yaroslava — on Instagram: @yasiiaaaa

— Sariyah Abuzant — watch her film FordDat:https://vimeo.com/1101397354?fl=pl&fe=sh

— Dignity Beyond Borders — learn more about their work:
 www.dignitybeyondborders.org
Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn: @dignitybeyondborders

— Yaroslava — on Instagram: @yasiiaaaa

— Sariyah Abuzant — watch her film FordDat:
https://vimeo.com/1101397354

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you alone

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

A historic step in extrovert-introvert relations i.e. a proxy bloodbath roundtable with 2 extroverts and 2 introverts airing our grievances about each other. 

From the episode: 

— Aparna Nancherla — wrote Unreliable Narrator and is on Instagram @aparnapkin: www.aparnacomedy.com

— Ryan Letts — runs Pando Integration Coaching

— Jennifer Kahnweiler — hosts Introvert Ally and wrote The Genius of Opposites: www.jenniferkahnweiler.com

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — it's one of the clearest examples of what this show does

If this episode hit something for you: 

— Try Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you alone

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

At the heart of many family estrangements lies a mystery. Adult kids insist they’ve told their parents why they’re walking away, while parents say they don’t understand. Why is it sometimes so hard for parents to hear their kids? And how to get through?

From the episode: 

— Becca Bland — follow her work with families and people surviving estrangement: www.beccabland.com

— Joshua Coleman — read New Rules of Estrangement, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and learn more: www.drjoshuacoleman.com

— Kim Nederveen Pieterse — listen to more of her reporting: www.kimnp.org

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Yaroslava Can’t Go Back Home — on grieving relationships that have changed in ways you can’t undo

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the mom who doesn’t understand, and the daughter who’s done explaining.

From the episode: 

— Chess Dugas — makes The Scapegoat Club on YouTube and TikTok: @thesscapegoatclub

— Joshua Coleman — wrote New Rules of Estrangement and publishes the newsletter Family Troubles: www.drjoshuacoleman.com

— Kim Nederveen Pieterse — listen to more of her reporting: www.kimnp.org

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — it's one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or An Estrangement Mystery — wanting to understand why a relationship ended—and not being able to

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Alex used to host a huge podcast (Reply All). He now makes a new independent show and loves doing it. Only problem is, Alex now has to ask for money all the time to survive, which he hates.

From the episode: 

— Alex Goldman — host of the podcast Hyperfixed: www.hyperfixedpod.com

— Haley Bash — founder of Donor Organizer Hub, a support network for people fundraising for under-resource causes: www.donororganizerhub.org

— The Accidental Fundraiser — Haley's step-by-step guide to raising money for your cause

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or The First Ever Extrovert–Introvert Cage Match — when friends just have very different ways of being

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Ever since the election, Sandy Ernest Allen has been clocking a strange silence from cis people about trans rights. So Sandy reached into the void to hear what the silence had to say.

From the episode: 

— Sandy Ernest Allen — writes the newsletter What's Helping Today:  www.sandyernestallen.com

— "To Cis People Who Feel Despair" — Sandy's guide to supporting trans people

— The post on Bluesky: @sandyernestallen

— Support Sandy's writing: https://buymeacoffee.com/sandyallen

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

If this episode hit something for you: 

— Or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming—and it starts to take over how you feel

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Anya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings. In this conversation, Anya shares what she learned from talking to scientists, activists, and thinkers about our collective emotions - why we feel the things we do, the limits of those feelings, and how to move through them to take action. 

From the episode:

— Anya Kamenetz — writer of the newsletter The Golden Hour

— We Are the Great Turning — a podcast she produced with eco-spiritual teacher Joanna Macy, about love, courage, and connection in the climate crisis

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming and it starts to take over how you feel

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the people person who fell out of love with people. 

From the episode: 

— Zakiya Gibbons — on Instagram @zak_sauce — more of her work: www.zakiyagibbons.com

— Dr. William Chopik — studies relationships and personality — more about his research: www.chopiklab.com, Bluesky @Chops310, X @Chops310

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or The First Ever Extrovert–Introvert Cage Match — when you feel out of sync with the people around you

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Amanda, a writer whose internal monologue won't stop narrating her life, instead of just letting her live it.

From the episode: 

— Amanda Montell — author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut, and host of the podcasts Magical Overthinkers and Sounds Like a Cult — on Instagram@amanda_montell

— Jonathan Adler — personality psychologist — more about his work: www.jonathan-adler.com

X @JonathanMAdler, Bluesky @jadler.bsky.social, and LinkedIn

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Caitlin Lost Her Voice — when the voice in your head disappears and you don't know who you are without it

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Brian, a journalist whose mother-in-law has Alzheimer's. Even though Brian knows she can’t help misremembering things, he can’t stop losing his patience with her, and with himself. 

From the episode: 

— Brian Reed — host of the podcast Question Everything — on Instagram @brihreed, X @BriHReed

— Claudia Drossel — psychology p rofessor at Eastern Michigan University — caregiving resources mentioned in this episode

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or JC's Kids Won't Talk To Her — when a family relationship fractures and the story isn't clear

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Evan and Chris, best friends who love playing music together. But after the band suffers a terrible tragedy, they find themselves unable to regain their momentum. We pair them up with another musician who’s all too familiar with the neverending drama that comes with being in a band with friends. 

From the episode: 

— The Superweaks — listen to their single "Blindside" and The Superweaks Superweekly Supercast episode where Yowei stumbles into the case — on Instagram @thesuperweaks

— Ryan Dusick — author of Harder to Breathe: A Memoir of Making Maroon, Losing It All, and Finding Recovery, and host of The Harder To Breathe podcast — on Instagram @ryan_michael_dusick

— The Music Industry Therapist Collective: www.musicindustrytherapists.com

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Alex and the Impossible Ask — when a relationship asks for something you don’t know how to give

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

For a long time, Yowei saw her introversion as a character flaw to fix. She gets advice from comedian (and fellow introvert) Aparna Nancherla about how to stop wishing for personality puberty to hit.

From the episode:  

— Aparna Nancherla, author of Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome — on Instagram @aparnapkin: www.aparnacomedy.com

— Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or The First Ever Extrovert–Introvert Cage Match — when you feel like you’re too much or not enough around others

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. We find someone uniquely able to help him break out of his regret loop. 

From the episode: 

— Mic Nguyen — co-host of the podcast Asian Not Asian — on Instagram @nicepantsbro

— Amy Summerville's paper — one of the most cited articles on regret

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Zakiya Used to Be So Fun — when you miss a version of yourself you used to be

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of George, the bisexual wife guy who got dumped. In this episode, we find a proxy to stand in for a listener's ex - another queer woman who left her straight relationship.

Proxy is back with new cases every other Tuesday. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next one.

From the episode: 

• Hanna Rosin, host of the podcasts Radio Atlantic and Chutzpod! — on X and Instagram: @hannarosin

New to Proxy?

— Try Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you alone

— Or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro — when the world feels overwhelming and it starts taking over how you feel

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Yowei shares exciting show news and goes on a self-delusion bender with the team at Proxy HQ. Is she being delusional? Or is delusion just necessary for starting any new project?

From the episode: 

— Useful Delusions: The Power & Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain by Shankar Vedantam

— Radiotopia from PRX

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

The story of someone who suffered alone in secret for 8 years with a problem he was too afraid to Google -  and then he stumbled into a support group. In this episode, we dive into the emotional dynamics of support groups with Jason Yu. Why did support groups help him, when nothing else did?

From the episode: 

— Jason Yu — host of the podcast Fidget — on Instagram @fidgetpodcast

— The TLC Foundation —  a resource for body-focused repetitive behaviors

— Jason's book recommendations on. building community — The Art of Gathering and How We Show Up

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Amanda and the Nonstop Narrator —  when your internal narrator won't shut up

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Whoever wins the election, Americans will still want to rip each other's heads off. Social psychologist Jay Van Bavel helps us understand why we should care about polarization, how we got here, and what, if anything, we can do about it. 

From the episode: 

— Jay Van Bavel — author of The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony— more about his work: www.jayvanbavel.com

—The paper on political sectarianism

—X and Instagram: @jayvanbavel

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Brian Can’t Stop Fact-Checking His Mother-in-Law — when two people see the same situation completely differently

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

We all know that moment - when you feel like you need to cry in front of other people, but don't want to cry. In this episode, Yowei talks to Heather Christle, the author of The Crying Book, to parse what’s happening in that moment, what tears are saying and how we should respond to them. 

From the episode:

— Heather Christle —  author of The Crying Bookand In the Rhododendrums: A Memoir with Appearances by Virginia Wolf— @heatherchristle on X and Instagram

— The Thai Life Insurance commercial from our crying experiment

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Aparna and the Self-Loathing Introvert — feeling like there’s something off about how you come across to other people

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy. 

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

The final installment of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy converations. In this episode, Yowei talks to a ritual expert and tries explaining what she's learned about proxy conversations to her mom. 

From the episode:

— Michael Norton — author of The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harnessing the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions— more about his work:www.michaelnorton.com

— Yowei's unhinged grieving ritual for her layoff

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Zakiya Used to Be So Fun — when your personality shifts and you don't know why

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Part 3 of Yowei's extremely meta quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. In this episode, Yowei learns about psychodrama, a psychotherapy that has similarities to proxy conversations and used to be a dominant modality in the U.S. and then died. Dr. Scott Giacomucci breaks down the mechanics of proxy conversations and tries his psychodrama techniques on Yowei. 

From the episode: 

— Scott Giacomucci — psychodrama therapist and author — more about his work: www.phoenixtraumacenter.com

— Scott's textbook about psychodrama available for free

— On Youtube @PhoenixTraumaCenter

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Bob and the Forgiveness Spell — what it takes to let go of something that won’t leave you alone

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Part 2 of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Why do they work?  How? Can Yowei figure out how to explain the show to people who don't get it?  In this episode, Yowei gets advice from actor, comedian, and proxy conversation expert Connor Ratliff. Over 20 years ago, Tom Hanks fired Connor from a small role in the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers - apparently for having "dead eyes." But is that really what happened? Connor made a podcast to investigate, and had 30 episodes worth of proxy conversations before talking to Tom Hanks himself. 

From the episode:

— Connor Ratliff – host of the podcasts Dead Eyes, Tiny Dinos, and The George Lucas Show — on Instagram @connorratliff

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when you can’t stop thinking about the path you didn’t take

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Yowei has a problem. She's having trouble explaining the show to people who don't get it. She knows proxy conversations work. But why? How? Part 1 of a 4-part quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Yowei learns about a proxy conversation happening in a completely different context: restorative justice with proxy survivors and offenders. 

From the episode

— Alissa Ackerman — criminologist and author of Healing from Sexual Violence: The Case for Vicarious Restorative Justice— more about her work: www.alissaackerman.com

— Ampersands Restorative Justice: www.ampersandsrj.org

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or JC's Kids Won't Talk to Her — wanting to understand why someone you love pulled away—and not being able to ask them

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

With every layoff, there's the blackbox of what's really going on behind the scenes. Why did it go down the way it did? Was it really not about your performance, like they told you? How does the layoff list get made anyway? In our inaugural proxy conversation, we connect Miles and Elliot with a proxy HR professional to answer their layoff questions.

From the episode:

— Catie Maillard — on LinkedIn — more about her work: www.somehowimanagehr.com

— Yowei's unhinged Gold Star music video

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or try JC’s Kids Won’t Talk to Her — wanting answers from someone you can’t ask

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

Please note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

Elliot and Miles loved working at the same company, until the spectre of layoffs came to haunt them.

From the episode:

— Ofer Sharone — sociologist at UMass Amherst, and author of The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term Unemployed

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Brian Can't Stop Fact-Checking His Mother-In-Law — when your brain keeps pulling you in a direction you don't want to go

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from. the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter,  at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid. members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional i nvestigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

When Yowei got laid off from NPR, she didn't just feel bad. She was confused by how bad she felt and how long the bad lasted. So Yowei does what she usually does in a situation like this - she reported on her feelings. Then things go left.

From the episode:

— Ofer Sharone — sociologist at UMass Amherst, and author of The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term Unemployed

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does

— Or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life — when the road not taken won’t leave you alone

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get File Under Feelings, our free newsletter, at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

It’s the knot you can’t untangle — a problem so specific, it makes you feel alone. But what if you could talk to someone who gets it? 

On Proxy, we find someone with the closest possible experience to your problem — and follow the conversation that unfolds. It’s not therapy. It’s emotional investigative journalism.

Hosted by Yowei Shaw, former co-host of Invisibilia.

New to Proxy?

— Try Bisexual Wife Guy — one of the clearest examples of what this show does