Savage Lovecast

An apology is required! But who is in the wrong here? An NB person got so, so sick with the covids. They had already made out with their boyfriend, so he was exposed. When they asked him to come over, deliver some food and offer bit of comfort, the boyfriend only agreed to drop off food outside the door. Should he have come inside and been more supportive? Or was it too much to ask to have him risk exposure?

On a much heavier note, a woman's dad was discovered to have a three year-long affair. Then he died days later. The caller's mom is grieving, angry and bereft, and the caller is cynical. 

Rejoice! Randy Rainbow is back. Our favorite parodic chanteuse is here to promote his new book "Low Hanging Fruit," and to dish with Dan about pregnancy fetishes, evangelistic nudists, and how very weird straight people are. A little is on the Micro, the whole salacious thing is on the Magnum. 

A man has been with his husband for 9 years. The caller is enjoying their newly open relationship, but his husband neither wants to cat around himself, nor approves of the caller's exploits. Can a slut and a demisexual make it work together? 

They've gotta try!

Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

A man was flirting with a woman online, but his girlfriend found out. She threw him out, and messaged all their friends and family about the incident. Police were involved. Should they get back together? Dan calls him up to get all the salacious details, and you get to listen. 

A man has a wonderful fiancé, and they have a child together. He loves her very, very much. The problem? He is one kinky motherfucker, and she is NOT interested in dominating him. 

On the Magnum, Dan chats with comedian Caleb Hearon. They talk about the perils of performing masculinity, but also how some gay men really are masculine. Calebs says "I don't want to do any of this exclusive, essentialist weirdo shit- I just want to have fun and enjoy myself." Hallelujah. Also, they arbitrate a petty fight from a caller over who should pay for a couch. 

Oh, and you have to become a Magnum sub and listen to this interview in order to understand the headline. 

Some three-way condom etiquette is in order. She and her husband are going to invite another man to join them. Naturally, they will insist that the lucky lad wear a condom. But should her husband wear one too just for parity? 

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.

She slept with a lad who didn't wear a condom when he said he would, came inside her and wouldn't help pay for Plan B. The hitch? He's great in bed, and she is hard up. Should she sleep with him again, if he promises to be a good boy? 

A caller challenges Dan on his personal dislike of massages. "How can this possibly be?" asks the caller.  

Our guest this week, is the brilliant psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel. Dan and Esther talk about infidelity, how monogamous relationships can turn into police states, and the difference between sex and eroticism- among many other things. We put a chunk of this conversation on the Micro, but there's a lot more on the Magnum. 

It's the classic bait n' switch. A queer man met his wife via Feeld where she claimed to be interested adventurous sex. Now that they're married, they are monogamous, vanilla and the caller is tearing his hair out. They are doing all the therapy. What they aren't doing is having amazing kinky sex. 

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

Check out Esther Perel at EstherPerel.com.

https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle

Get 15% the desire courses until 12/13/24 with the code: SAVAGE15

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

Oh no! He broke the flirting rules. He kissed a lady and lied about it. (He lies a lot apparently.) But now, it makes her sick to look at him. What now?

A man and his boyfriend just bought a house together and they are setting up one of the rooms as a nursery...because they are both adult babies. What should they tell visitors if they ask what the locked room is for?

On the Magnum, it's the triumphant return of "What Are You Doing?!" A cuckold relationship with a femme-dom twist, you say? Do tell! Meet John and Maria, a seemingly "normal" couple that get super-freaky where it counts. They explain how they met, and gradually morphed into an amped-up sexual relationship. If you are interested in cuckolding, Dom/sub relationships or just want to peer in, have a listen.

And, a woman heard that if her husband gets a vasectomy his semen will lose the delicious flavor she so enjoys. Is it true? Or maybe...not?

Let's ask science!

A man and his girlfriend are well-matched. Except...she doesn't like to kiss and he NEEDS to kiss to get his erotic motor running. Whatever can they do? 

The good doctor Barak is back... but this time he's here to share his political giving strategy for this election, where your dollar is mightier than ever. And of course Dan ambushes him with a gnarly sex question. 

On the Magnum, what happens when a man is jealous of his...mother? Dan chats with whip smart writer Jill Filipovic about millennial/boomer divide and the seething resentments within. 

And, a man and his husband are finally having three-ways after 30 years of marriage. They get more excited to be with their special guest stars than they do with just each other. Is this a problem? 

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

We’re partnering with NOCD to raise awareness about OCD. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day no matter how hard you try to make them go away. That’s OCD. Breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to NOCD.com/savage to learn more.

Git along little doggie! A gay man in academia has always been into cowboys. But he fights his brain, due to the inherently problematic nature of this fetish. Can (or should) he scrub these fantasies from his mind? 

A woman in Berlin would like to go to Folsom Europe. But would she be welcome? Dan chats with kink educator AJ Berlin about gay male sex party spaces, and who is (and isn't) welcome. 

On the Magnum, Dan chats with a true unicorn- a monogamous gay man. Don Martin is an author, podcaster and prolific THIRST TRAPPER. He's been with his husband for 18 years in a very happy exclusive relationship. They talk about accepting yourself as gay, going the distance with monogamy, escaping body dysmorphia and so much more. They had a wide-ranging conversation and you are invited to listen in. 

And, are there any foot fetishists out there who are ladies? Anyone? 

Call! Tell us about it! 

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Workplace intrigue ahoy! A gay trans man who passes completely, is out to some of his co-workers but not all. Over drinks, one of his bosses told him he was bi, but not attracted to male genitals. So was this his way of acknowledging that the caller is trans, and flirting with him? Or was it cluelessly his way of saying he *wasn't* interested? Confusing! What should the caller do? 

A straight man loved giving his previous girlfriend multiple orgasms. But now that he's single and knows how good it can be, he feels pressure to give multiple orgasms every time, to all his lovers. Is this a new expectation for men? How can he have good sex without his self-critical brain ruining everything? 

On the Magnum, you may recall a few weeks ago, a woman asked about cross-dressing men. She wanted to understand the difference between cross-dressers, trans women and drag queens. Nancy Rose is a cross-dresser with a very masculine side when she's in man mode and a very feminine side when she's in "Nancy mode." In this conversation they explore the mushy Venn diagram of these queer identities. 

We know you're sick of hearing this question over and over, but if you are an adult baby diaper lover, and a recovering meth addict, and you've discovered that injecting meth into your penis shrinks your dick in a way you find affirming, how can you find a better, less addicting way to achieve a baby-like wiener? Ho hum. 

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

A woman is starting up a new relationship. Her previous boyfriend was a dom who introduced her to kink. She loved it but found it all too contrived. How can she take the parts of Dom/sub dynamics she likes and leave the scripted parts behind?

It used to take her soooooo long to come. But then she discovered suction toys, and blam! Her husband learned how to get her off orally, but then they divorced. Now she's back to square one and worries it will take another 6 years to train new lovers to get her off. How can she give them a crash course in how her body works? 

On the Magnum, a severe strain of Mpox is on the rise in Africa. Dan brings back the wise and calm Dr. Carlton to discuss this and other anal health issues. Dr. Carlton shares his handy, (if sacriligious) technique to open up for anal sex without poppers. And they spell out use of Truvada, Doxy Pep and other meds on the scene. If you use your butt for sex, you'll want to tune in.

A single mother and breast cancer survivor needs a little cash. She would like to set up an OnlyFans account, but worries that the scars from her mastectomy will hinder her chances or attract unwanted fetishists. Should she do this? 

Find Dr. Carlton:

Instagram, Threads and Tik Tok @DoctorCarlton

X: @Doctor_Carlton

Podcast: Butt Honestly with all social handles @butthonestlypod

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

We’re partnering with NOCD to raise awareness about OCD. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day no matter how hard you try to make them go away. That’s OCD. Breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to NOCD.com/savage to learn more.

A straight man was horrified to discover that he wasn't attracted to his hook-up when she took her clothes off. She extracted a confession from him, and he was honest about his sudden repulsion. Was this the right thing to do? 

A woman would like to help her 70 year-old mother choose and navigate dating apps. Dan calls up Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex to give the run-down.

On the Magnum, Dan chats with our new favorite dom- "The Funny Dom," a 24/7 Daddy Dominant based in Melbourne, Australia. They discuss how to vet a dom, how straight male doms come under more scrutiny than femme doms, and how kink employs creativity to process trauma into something wonderful, cathartic

and sexy. We love the Funny Dom and so will you. 

And, can we talk about celery juice? Does it make come taste sweet?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

We start the show with a simple question. Should she sleep with the gardener? Her marriage has become sexless, and though her husband swears he would be into a three-way, she wants to audition the hot gardener first. 

Some questions require a medical opinion. Some questions are so gnarly that only the most intrepid medical experts will suffice. There is only one man who can fill this role. And that man is Doc Barak. 

On the Magnum, Dan brings on your next favorite guest, Jeff Guenther a.k.a "TherapyJeff." His new book, Big Dating Energy is out now. They talk about dating apps, scheduled sex and how capitalism destroys relationships, Also, Dan self-diagnoses his attachment style, and Jeff makes a sacred promise.

And, a near virgin has asked our brave caller if she would relieve him of his virginity. She thinks it could be fun and a mikvah. But is there anything she should be aware of or look out for? 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

Hear the modern tale of the single mom, who is so committed to raising a "theybie" that she won't let her best friend babysit, lest she take a peek down below while changing diapers. 

A woman is worried about her brother. He has been sober for a couple years after a traumatic childhood. Now he is dating a woman who just broke up with his pal, who still drinks. They are keeping their relationship under wraps. Will the secrecy and sordid nature of it all suck him back into using? 

On the Magnum, do you like your comedy dry? Dan brings on stand-up comedian Emily Catalano to talk about the orgasm gap, intentionally bad blowjobs, and the quirkiness of releasing a comedy album on vinyl.

And, a rumination on crossdressers: What is the difference between crossdressers, drag queens and trans women? Dan breaks it down. And to all the crossdressers out there- we want to hear from you!

Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A woman with the best intentions wants to secretly hire a sex worker for her depressed, newly divorced friend. Any downsides here?

Speaking of divorce, Dan gives a long pep-talk to a man struggling with how to get over his. 

On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Sara Glass, author of the fantastic memoir "Kissing Girls on Shabbat." Dr. Glass was raised in a hyper- religious Hasidic Jewish community. She later came out as queer and completely changed her life. Dan and Dr. Glass had a raw, heart-felt conversation talking about the zap religion can put on a child's head, and how coming out is difficult but so worthwhile. 

And, a 16 year-old boy is eager to get into the pup lifestyle/community. But he can't join most of these spaces because of his age. What can he do besides wait and howl at the moon? 

Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

A man's new boyfriend had an adult circumcision, and now can't come very easily. He wants to help his boyfriend come, but doesn't want to pressure him. How can he thread the needle and start gobbling? 

A straight man is in a brat/dom dynamic, where his girlfriend "misbehaves" and then gets "punished" by the caller. They all love it, but now she is also seeing a different man who leaves marks on her body. She showed the caller a photo of herself as a way to elicit his punishment. But he suddenly feels jealous! Not sexy! How can they alter their dynamic so everyone gets what they want? 

On the Magnum, it turns out that Dan is a medical mystery! Why can't he find his own car in a parking lot? Why does he meet people over and over again without recognizing them? In an attempt to get a clear diagnosis, Dan brings on the charming and hilarious science reporter Sadie Dingfelder. Her new book, "Do I Know You? A Faceblind Reporter's Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory and Imagination," should offer clues into Dan's...condition. They talk about swiping right or left when you can't register a face. And how does masturbation work when you don't have a visual imagination? It's wonderfully weird! 

And, a newly divorced man is dating again. He was a stay-at-home dad, as he is independently wealthy. But now, when women hear he doesn't have a job, they reject him. He doesn't want or have to work. What gives? 

Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

It's the "Overthinking It" episode! 

"I'll give you $100 if you spit in my beer." This offer was made by a random gentleman in a sushi bar to an unsuspecting lady. She declined. Would you do it? Is anything wrong here? Overthinking it?

Meanwhile, a man wonders if the dubious ethics he saw in a porno plot renders said porno too problematic to enjoy. Overthinking it! 

On the Magnum, we're delighted to welcome Andy Richter to the show. He's best known for his years as Conan O'Brien's sidekick, and now hosts The Three Questions podcast. He and Dan talk about replacing the term "body count" (the number of sex partners you've had) with something more...upbeat. And, they talk about they dynamics of the "relationship escalator." 

And, hear the tale of woman who has an orgasm every time she sees a masseuse. Is there a consent issue here, or is she...overthinking it?

Have a question for the show? Don't think too hard- just ask! 

Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

Man we're tired. So we went on vacation! No show this week, but we'll back at you on July 9. 

Her husband of ten years is interested in learning about non-monogamy. He started attending workshops about "divine femininity" and "dark masculinity." The workshop leader seems sketchy and cultish to the caller. How can she vet this potential grifter and help her husband develop a little reasonable skepticism?

A woman and her husband have been in a poly relationship with another woman for 11 years. She is intertwined with the family and helps out with the kids. You know who also helps with the kids? The caller's mother-in-law, who lives with them. At some point will she guess who the girlfriend really is? Will the kids? Should the caller tell everyone that their "very good friend" is really their long-term partner? 

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes back Mexican writer, artist and activist Leo Herrera, with some good news: Cruising is BACK, baby! He and Dan talk about how dating and hook-up apps fail gay men, and how people have lost the ability to interact IRL. His book "Analog Cruising" is out now. Learn how to do it right!

And, a woman in her 60s had a mostly emotional affair with a married man. She doesn't want to be a mistress. But he really seemed like the love of her life. Will she love again? 

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

A straight woman wants to explore her bitchy side. She feels like all her edge got sanded away, and now she wants to try out the dom role. How can she find a man who wants a selfish, in-charge lover? 

Meanwhile, a straight man is frustrated that his lady won't let him go down on her. 

Our guest this week is Lyz Lenz, author of the NYT best-selling "This American Ex-Wife." Raised conservative Christian, Lenz found herself trapped in a joyless marriage, doing all the work, and getting gaslit like crazy. Now, she makes for a fiery, indignant, righteous interview. The first bit is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum. Highly recommended. 

And, a straight couple are fornicating their way through America's beautiful national parks. But what officially counts as sex? If he goes down on her under a domestic sequoia, did they just have sex? If she rims him in full view of Mount Rainier, did they "do it?"

Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

Getting a haircut is boring! Unless. Unless your hairstylist strokes your neck, pulls your hair, talks dirty and asks if you want to fool around. 

A straight man was walking home at night when a drunk man hurled anti-gay insults at him. In a moment of improvised solidarity, the caller said he WAS gay. The drunk found some friends and chased the caller off. Now the caller wonders if what he did was wrong. His gay friend said it wasn't cool to pose as gay. What will Dan think?

On the Magnum, Dan chats with Jason Roeder- former senior editor of the Onion, and author of "Griefstrike" which managed to make grief...hilarious. Now he's wading into the advice industry, with his column Bad Advice. You'll have to listen to find out if it lives up to its name. He and Dan talk about the etiquette of disclosing when you are playing the field on dating apps, whether after-care is to be expected of a friend with benefits, and a double standard in dating profile pics.  

And just in time for Pride Month, a woman wonders if it's ok for her to enter gay male spaces like International Mr. Leather and Folsom. She finds gay men sexy, especially when they are all decked out. But would she be welcome? 

206-302-2064 Q@Savage.Love

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Today’s episode is brought to you by Shameless Care- offering STI prevention medication online. For a year supply of DoxyPEP for just $109, head over to www.ShamelessCare.com/Savage.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

Dan takes on a couple of heavy calls this week- A woman learned that her ex-boyfriend of 8 years was convicted on child pornography charges. He will almost certainly go to prison. He was once her fiancé. Rough stuff. 

Then, Dan helps a woman make the heart-breaking choice between a single or a double mastectomy. 

Our guest this week is the sharp, hilarious comedian Jared Goldstein. He and Dan talk about how gay men reject long-haired homos, how straight men don't get "headaches," and definitively answer whether dreams get weirder and kinkier as we age. A little is on the Micro, the whole thing is on the Magnum. 

Finally, he's dating a woman who isn't quite over her ex. And her ex is the caller's boss. And the ex is a super-hot guy who hunts caribou. He was "like a drug" to his girlfriend. How can the caller ever hope to compete? 

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

Yikes! Her boyfriend's pre-teen son has been stealing her underwear. This very naughty lad lives with them half the time. How can she get this boundary violation out of her head? 

12 long years ago, he cheated on his wife. They got through it with therapy and endless processing. While watching TV with their kids (age 10 and 13) the subject of infidelity came up on the show, and his wife appeared upset. She was angry that he didn't pause the show and tell his kids that he had cheated on their mom. How can he work with her unresolved issues?

On the Magnum, we are delighted to bring back our favorite anal surgeon, Dr. Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical Dr. Goldstein has a new book out: "Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between." His take on sexual health and prioritizing pleasure is refreshing and rare. He and Dan talk about the health challenges transwomen face, and whether you can stretch out your ass in one fateful evening. 

A gay man has a bad track record with polyamory. Every time he gets together with a couple, trouble follows. Does it work for anyone? Ever? 

Q@Savage.Love          206-302-2064 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

A lesbian has befriended a married lesbian couple. She thinks they're both hot, and in various light-hearted conversations, they said they were open to group sex. But were they serious? Should the caller proposition them? 

When a woman was 17, she connected with a 24 year-old man, and began a fraught relationship full of sex, drama and sneaking around. She eventually cut things off, convinced that the age difference made it exploitative. He still tries to contact her now and again. How bad was this, and how can she get him out of her head? 

This weeks guest is comedian Rachel Feinstein. Her upcoming Netflix comedy special "Big Guy" is not to be missed. Now, let's talk about tea bagging. Sure, you know what it means. But who is the "tea-bagger?" The one with the mouth, or the one with the balls? Unsurprisingly, this conversation raises more questions than it answers. 

These two get super-real with each other, spelling out the stories of their first sexual encounters. Dan's first-time story has a detail that even shocked Nancy...you'll just have to listen. The first 8 minutes are on the Micro, and the whole raucous thing is on the Magnum. 

Finally, we all deal with grief in different ways. This poor man lost a dear friend, and consoles himself with frequent masturbation. Is this healthy? Is it ok? 

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU

For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ has been viewed worldwide.

Dan and Diana talk about the necessity to gain legal protections for poly folks, separate from the spiritual concept of matrimony. They answer a question from a man considering donating his sperm to an ex. And hear Dan try to score some free legal advice. 

This is a short taste for the Micro listeners. To hear the full interview, become one of Dan's Magnum subs at Savage.Love.

Find Diana @DianaAdamsEsq

Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair?

A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why? 

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex. Her essay in the New York Times about the ubiquity of erotic choking among young people went viral, freaking parents out. She and Dan talk about the dangers (both physical and emotional) of choking and then move on to more pleasant subjects: Like the Madonna/whore complex! And wanting someone you cannot have. 

Lastly, a gay man has a wet & messy kink. Lube wrestling? Let's go! Pie in the face? Yes please! But even though his boyfriend is game, the caller still feels shame and has a hard time asking for the thing that turns him on the most. 

You know what turns us on? Your calls. Usually. 

Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. For the month of May, Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

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This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it? 

A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not. 

On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our guest- TV writer Stan Zimmerman. His work as a comedy writer is seen throughout many notable TV shows and sitcoms including The Golden Girls, Gilmore Girls, Roseanne, and The Brady Bunch movies. They talk about how Stan had to be closeted throughout his time writing for The Golden Girls (!!!), the special relationship many gay boys have with their mothers and grandmothers, and the gritty, gutty works of television. 

Finally, a straight man in his 70s has always had a fantasy of being weak and abused. This erotic desire ruined his marriage. Lately, it's morphed into him fantasizing about being a frail woman. Is this a common fantasy? How can he indulge it? 

Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064

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A woman's party fell apart when her good -looking friend flirted with all the men and then led them away to a club. Was this a competitive power move? What kind of friend is this? 

Expiration dates! You wouldn't drink old milk. Is it equally dangerous to use lube past its time?

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris from Slate's "Dear Prudence" column. They advise a woman whose boyfriend wants to see sex workers. (He likes 'em "young and firm.") And a jealous boyfriend can't handle his girlfriend's (rather reasonable) number of past lovers. As veterans in the sex-advice space Dan and Jenée have some strong words for this insecure man. 

A woman is about to get debilitating shoulder surgery. She is a submissive, without a primary partner. Who will take care of her when she is in her long recovery? And how can she do kink safely? 

Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

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A woman has been enjoying an insertable vibrator that can be controlled by her partner. Whee! But she worries that if she wears it out in public, it constitutes a consent violation for the unwitting baristas who don't know why her eyes are crossing all of a sudden.

On both the Micro and the Magnum, our second "What Are You Doing" features MzKim Lee- a very successful financial dominatrix. Why does she do it? How does she do it? How much does she earn? (The answer to this last question, may shock you.) 

Are you ready for a trigonometry lesson? Writer Neil McNeil wrote a long piece about poly triads- their delights and pitfalls. If you are a couple considering bringing a third person into your relationship, or you want to join an existing couple, do have a listen. 

And, a woman learned that her gal pal's husband was sighted in the bathroom...of a gay bar! Should she rat him out? 

Q@Savage.Love           206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

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For this very special April 20th episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Republican apostate and charming podcaster Tim Miller, about the importance of voting blue (for you know who) this coming November. A second Trump presidency would just be too harsh of a toke. This is the first third of the interview. To hear the "sex " part of "Sex & Politics" in which they discuss some trouble involving a "pristine dick," subscribe to the Magnum version of the Lovecast, at Savage.Love.

A woman moved into a new house and promptly slept with her roommate. It was great sex and the caller wants a repeat. He claims he wants more as well, but then never actually takes her up on it. One night she asked if he wanted to...you know...do it, and he chose to play video games for 14 hours instead. So. 

A veteran of the polyamorous lifestyle would like to push back on the idea that you can sleep with people and avoid catching feelings. It's just not a realistic rule, says this pragmatic lady. What do you think?

On the Magnum, Dan chats with Alexandra Petri- humor columnist for the Washington Post. They talk about comedy writing in these dark times, and Alexandra helps answer a question about horny fantasy titles creeping into a woman's bookclub. 

A woman is enjoying a friends-with-benefits situation with a man in an open marriage. She's beginning to fall in love with him in fact. But he and his wife are trying to get pregnant, and he has made it clear that the instant they see that pink line, he must switch to friends-only as he focuses on fatherhood. How can the caller protect her heart when she knows this relationship has an expiration date? 

How indeed? 

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

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A woman's boyfriend wants her to play with his ass. But she doesn't know where to begin. Fingers? Tongue? What should she do down there? 

A woman keeps getting harassed by men in cars jacking it and watching her creepily. What can she do in these unpleasant moments?

On the Magnum Dan chats with journalist Ben Ryan about the effects of PrEP in gay sex culture. As DAN PREDICTED, with the rise of PrEP use, HIV infections plummeted, but other STIs are on the rise. Are condoms dead? Not so fast. 

Finally, a lesbian couple are planning to have children. First one will carry the baby, then it will be the other one's turn for the second child. The mother of the woman who will carry the first baby blurted out that she was excited to be the bio grandmother. The non-bio mom-to-be was offended, and doesn't know how to let it go. When they have their second child will the grandmother love the child as much? 

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

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A gay man keeps sleeping with non-monogamous, married men, who are ultimately emotionally unavailable. But the sex is great! Why isn't he attracted to single men, hmmmm? 

Parenting challenge ahoy! A couple with a blended family are getting along well, except for one thing. The mom's 15 year-old daughter loses her mind when she hears them having sex. She bangs on the wall, and makes retching noises when they kiss or otherwise show affection. How can they (respectfully) shut this behavior down? 

On the Magnum, you'll delight in this conversation with Dr. Eric Sprankle, author of the new book, "DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation." Why are so many religions hung up on self-pleasure? Is semen retention good or bad for you? And those cute little fetuses you see on anti-abortion billboards? They're totally spanking it. 

And, hear the tale of Willy and Wendy. One wild evening, a woman and her boyfriend had their pal "Willy" over. They did some MDMA, and tumbled into bed together. Then, the texts started coming in from "Wendy," Willy's girlfriend. The caller had assumed that everything would be ok with Wendy, as they must be in an open relationship. Not so! Now, Willy has some explaining to do, and the caller feels real bad. 

Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

For this episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Rob Henderson, author of "Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class." Rob's heart-breaking memoir goes into his wrenching childhood, and also his concept of "luxury beliefs," - sanctimonious ideas that the upper classes advocate for, but usually don't follow themselves, and ultimately hurt the poor and working class. Henderson includes non-monogamy as a luxury belief, and as you can imagine, Dan ain't havin' it. 

This is a 20 minute taste of Sex & Politics. The Magnum version of this conversation goes on for over an hour- and that's where Dan and Rob go toe-to-toe over traditional vs. open relationships. To hear the rest of the interview, subscribe to the Magnum at Savage.Love.

Hear their polite argument, and tell us what you think in the comments!

So, is he gay? The evidence: He likes sucking wieners, anal play, and he has a sex machine that he uses on his butt. Also, he is showing less and less interest in having sex with the caller, and when she asks him about it he responds "Is sex all you care about?" 

An anxious cougar is suspicious of the young men who hit on her. Why would they want to be with someone twice their age? She knows she should count her blessings, and her friends all roll their eyes at her discomfort. How can she get out of her head about this and enjoy the youthful dick already? 

Our guest this week is Rhaina Cohen, author of "The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center." She and Dan talk about the state of friendship in our culture, how friendship takes a backseat to romantic love, and how we put way too much pressure on our partners to be our everything. A little is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum. 

"Good girl." That's what he tells her when they're doing a scene. But it's also what she says to her dogs! It takes her right out of the moment. Any other verbiage they could use? 

Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

You guys! We are in crisis! There are just not enough hot young women! DO. THE. MATH.

A woman is dating a trans woman. Her girlfriend recently got bottom surgery, and wants to try being penetrated with an actual penis, as opposed to a toy. Should the caller allow for an open relationship to accommodate this?

Strap in folks, we're unveiling a new extra spicy segment of the show called "What Are you Doing?" Dan reaches out to folks who are doing amazing things in the world of sex, and asks them to please explain. In this first one, Dan interviews adult entertainer Rob Wilde, to explain his kink for saline infusions. Did you know that you could stick a needle in your balls and blow them up to the size of basketballs...for a day? You can! Learn all about it. 

And, a woman and her boyfriend are getting creative with medical byproducts. You'll have to listen in to hear how. 

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

"Ewww! Blood!" That's what her boyfriend says whenever she even mentions her menstrual cycle. Should she try to educate him as to why this is immature and offensive to a lady with lady parts? 

Dan has a conversation with a man whose wife is unilaterally opening their relationship. Can their marriage withstand his wife getting a tattoo from her new lover? 

On the Magnum, Dan talks to fellow term-coiner Lara Starr, who came up with the name "Sister Ex" to describe the powerful relationship that can emerge when two (or more) ex-girlfriends share notes.

And, somewhere, deep in the Deep South, a couple just set up their new hot tub. But they are worried that if they invite friends over to join them it will appear to be a big, sexy swingers move. How can they avoid misunderstandings?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

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A 27 year-old divorced woman goes to bars and picks up both men and women. She prefers them to be at least 10 years older because (as everyone knows,) they are better in bed. How can she find people in this age range, and keep their attention?

A young, gay hottie hasn't had sex in 2 years because he wants more of a connection than casual hook-ups. But when he does connect, he loses interest quickly. How can he get over his analysis paralysis?

Our guest this week is Molly Roden Winter, author of MORE: A Memoir of Open Marriage. She and Dan talk about how our society loses its mind at the thought of women (and especially mothers) exercising sexual autonomy. They talk about the challenges and benefits of polyamory and how to overcome jealousy. A little is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum.

A woman with some kind of special sauce keeps making all the men fall in love with her! She clearly states from the very first date that she isn't looking for commitment. But they cling and they cling. What is she doing wrong?

Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman's 60 year-old dad has taken in a much younger woman of dubious repute. She is a massage therapist, and has been cleaning her father's house. Her father claims that taking her in is just the Christian thing to do. The caller worries her father is being taken advantage of- she and her brother don't like it one little bit. Should she refuse to see her father under he kicks the girl out? 

A man has discovered his love for kink later in life. Now he's dating and scaring women away when he says he's a dom on OK Cupid. But he wants to be honest, and the kink sites are too over the top for him. How can he hit the jackpot?

On the Magnum, comedian Hope Woodard explains her "Boysober" concept and endeavor. No boys for Hope! She explains why she is choosing to remain boysober for a year, how it's different from celibacy, and how dang hard it is! 

And, a caller wants to get in on the sexual neologism racket. Will Dan Savage approve of his new portmanteau? 

Spoiler: Nope! 

Q@Savage.Love            206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

We’re partnering with NOCD to raise awareness about OCD. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day no matter how hard you try to make them go away. That’s OCD. Breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to NOCD.com/savage to learn more.

Why is it always men that are into foot fetishes? 

And speaking of feet, a woman has a pair of fetish shoes that no longer fit. She wants to make sure they go to a loving home, but how? 

Our guest this week is Peter McGraw, author of "Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of your Own." In this antidote to Valentine's Day, Dan and Peter talk about how and why more people are choosing to be single these days. We should perhaps give up on the outdated idea that happiness must be bundled with monogamous long term partnership. This is a great conversation- some of it is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum. 

And, ever since they had their baby, a man and his wife only have sex in the shower. It's become so routine, he's beginning to dread sex. How can he get his wife to agree to something new?

Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

A hearty Valentine's Day to all of you freaky, perverted, lovelorn wretches.

We begin the show with a humdinger of a call from a man whose wedding night is shaping up to be very special indeed. 

A married woman shares a phone with her husband. She notices that the ads served on his Instagram feed are very different from what she sees. He sees AI generated, photo-shopped sex vixens. She's treated to arts & crafts blogs. Is Insta pushing sexual images based on his basic demographic? (Straight dude.) Or does the Algorithm know more about her husband than she does? Dan calls up a social media expert for this one. 

On the Magnum, we welcome back intimacy expert Rena Martine to help a caller in her mid 30s who has never had penetrative sex before. Why is she avoiding it? How can she tell future lovers about her mindset, grow into a full sexual life? 

And, a bi man has started focusing on men over women. But his dick hasn't gotten the memo. How can he learn to keep his erection for the men he's so attracted to? 

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage.

We are still shocked that Ezra Klein (of the NYT and the Ezra Klein Show) agreed to come on our smutty little podcast. They talked about Ezra's time as a monogamous straight man embedded in San Fransisco's polyamorous culture. They compared the current NYC hipster version of the poly scene vs San Fransisco's meld of tech bros and hippies. And they talk about how the nuclear family is failing as a functional support system. Some of this great convo is on the Micro, and the whole thing is on the Magnum. 

Also on this week's show, when a man and his boyfriend go to the gym in their conservative town, he notices that they both "butch up" and quit acting like a couple. How can they learn to act naturally in scary straight spaces? 

A woman just had a baby 4 months ago. Her husband went to a bachelor party and got a lap dance. They are just starting to have sex again, but she feels insecure, and has started to eroticize her jealousy in a way that feels unhealthy to her. Complicated!

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

"Enough with the poly! " Or so says this gay man, who is sick of being disrespected by his boyfriend catting around, acting like a no-good cad and using polyamory as a shield. 

Meanwhile, can't a homo in the rural West have nice, no-strings-attached hook-ups anymore? All the men he meets want to get married or something. 

On the Magnum, Dan brings on comedian Dulcé Sloan from The Daily Show to talk about the perils of dating menfolk. Apparently, it's dangerous out there. 

And, a woman's boyfriend used to drink too much and drive drunk. She put the hammer down, and he cut way back on drinking claiming he never gets behind the wheel when he's had a few. But she knows he still drinks with his buddies and lies about how much. She likes a drink now and again. Is she being hypocritical and controlling? Or is his consumption creeping back up to dangerous and out of control? 

Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

A man's wife had to quit drinking due to a medical condition. They used to get tipsy and have wild sex. Now that she can't drink the sex has become rote and inhibited. They plan to go on vacation together, but the caller feels that if they can't have their free-wheeling sex, he doesn't want go on vacation at all. 

Don't you want to hear Dan's conversation with an adult baby/diaper lover? Yes, yes you do. 

On the Magnum, a gay man is looking for the most penis-like sex toy he can find that doesn't leak toxic, hormone-disrupting chemicals. Dan brings on our resident sex toy expert, Erika Moen to go over the possibilities.

And...pineapples! What do they REALLY mean?

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

A gay man's best friend has such a devastating crush on him, that they can't be friends anymore. The caller begged him to try to get over it. But crushes are crushing. Is there anything this (platonically) jilted caller can do? 

Here's the scenario: A straight, divorced woman starting dating a *wonderful* man, and they started seeing each other exclusively. He really is spectacular. But then she received a message on Instagram from a woman claiming to be his other girlfriend, who also thinks she's dating him exclusively. He promised to fly straight, stop the lying and stick with the caller. She notices that he has a Snapchat account that he uses suspiciously. He gets calls from other women all the time. He has kids from a previous marriage, but he hasn't told his children about her. Guess why he got divorced. He was cheating all the time! Here's the heart-breaking punchline to this call: Her question is- how can she learn to get over her paranoia and just trust this guy? 

On the Magnum, here's an etiquette question: Is it appropriate for a dominatrix to command her subs to buy her costumes and gear? That stuff ain't cheap. Dan brings on the formidable dominatrix Inanna Justice to talk about the things we can and can't ask our subs to do for us. 

And a woman is the secondary in poly relationship. She is grieving the fact that she will never get to live with him and experience the mundane intimacies of a primary relationship. Ah, to fold his laundry, just once! 

Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

Happy Feast of the Ass for all who celebrate!

A gay man is fed up with the guys who try to use the gym as their personal hook-up site. When the leering moves into harassment, should he tell management? Or is this just to be expected in gay male spaces? 

A recently divorced straight man is hot to trot. He dates casually, but catches feelings so soon, that he scares off the women. How can he learn to take it slow? 

On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome Damona Hoffman back to the show. Listen in as these titans of the dating advice world chitty-chat, spar and dish it up together. Hoffman's new book "F THE FAIRY TALE: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story" is all about the myths we believe about dating, and how to cultivate a more realistic, successful approach to finding people. 

And, a gay man hooked up with a much older man (with a giant penis, incidentally.) The man asked the caller if he would be into some BDSM. The caller has never been interested in kink, especially with someone he barely knows. But could "maybe, eventually" get there? How can he communicate his reticence, and still leave the door open, just a crack?

Heh heh. Crack. 

Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

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A German lesbian was propositioned by a younger grad student. (This sounds like a porno but it's not.) The grad student was raised in a conservative environment, and it's the first time she's ever spoken of her female attraction. They only have a month before they both move away. Should the caller get down with the girl or restrain herself?

In a very different call, a gay man has applied for a job at the church he used to volunteer for when he was much younger. Why did he quit, you ask? The clergyman he worked under sexually assaulted him, and then spread lies about him when the caller refused to go along with it. The caller doesn't know how to explain this to the church leadership today. And they will ask questions...

On the Magnum, the queer podcasting stars align, as Dan brings on McKenzie Goodwin and Rachel Scanlon of "2 Dykes and a Mic." Obviously, they had a lot to talk about. Queer joy. Trans women in lesbian spaces. Pronouns. Getting "hermed." We love these two dykes with all our might, and so will you.

Finally, a woman used to enjoy anal sex with her ex-boyfriend. But her fiancé of 7 years has a big ole beer can, and she can't fit that thing in without having to tap out instantly. Are there any techniques she can use to learn to enjoy butt stuff?

She did the right thing! She asked Dan and so can you. 

Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

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A lesbian has a terrible bullshit detector. She keeps falling for lies and getting conned. How can our credulous heroine protect herself from lying liars? 

A man and his ex- girlfriend are utterly estranged. She has cut off all contact from him. But he noticed that she is still using his Netflix password. What's more, he can see what she's watching and when. He doesn't mind letting her mooch off his subscription, but it feels like an invasion of her privacy to see what she's viewing. His question is whether he should also stop paying for her Magnum subscription to the Lovecast for the same reason. And since she's a power Lovecast fan, she will definitely hear this...

On the Magnum, Jen Hecht of Building Healthy Online Communities works with dating apps to inspire a more polite, and healthy dating scene. Her org worked with app companies to craft messages urging gay men to get the monkeypox vaccine. She and Dan talk about her work and strategies to be successful on the apps. 

And, it's the OTHER WOMAN! A few weeks ago, Dan chatted with Amy and April from "Shameless Sex" to counsel a man whose primary partner asked him to shut down his new relationship after they opened up. Now they are forbidden from communicating, but the other woman isn't forbidden from calling a sex & relationship advice podcast that she knows he listens to...

You wanna talk to me? Just talk to me: 

Q@Svage.Love   206-302-2064

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For this very special Sex & Politics, we invite you to leave your earthly cares behind and explore with us what sex would be like...in space! 

It turns out, it will be terrible. Dr. Kelly and Zach Weinersmith, authors of "A City on Mars," are on to talk about the difficult logistics of both recreational and procreational sex on Mars. Learn about a sex test using geckos, the "snuggle tunnel," and, how we must use the "rocket equation" to answer Dan's question: "How far can you shoot a load in space?" Would monogamy or polyamory best suit life on the red planet? YOU WILL FIND OUT. 

Although it might seem sexy for Elon Musk to rule mars (to Elon Musk,) Zach warns us that "Space is a giant superfund site that is also trying to kill you with psychics." Not so hot. 

This is a very fun convo, so Santa is giving it to Magnum and Micro listeners alike. Happy holidays, friends. 

Dick pic backfire! When a woman received an image of her sexting partner's wiener, she was distressed to see small white bumps adorning his penis. Could it be HPV? That's bad, right? Should she tell him? Does he know already? 

Ah, the folks you'll meet online...A woman connected with a man via Tinder who claimed to have regular vacation sex with his mother. She then found a Reddit community full of folks all claiming the same thing. Is this real? Do we have to date men who have sex with their mothers now? 

On the Magnum, welcome to the seedy, shady and lucrative world of the NoFap movement. In this "What You Got," Dan interviews neuroscientist and sex researcher Dr. Nicole Prause who analyzed the violent culture of the men who are convinced that masturbation drains them of their masculinity. 

A trans woman is a switch. She can be the dom, she can be the sub. But she usually ends up domming because of the general shortage of doms. How can a trans gal get tied up already? 

Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

A married gay man endured a sexless relationship for 10 long years... until he didn't. After cheating, he is getting a divorce. But now the caller feels villainized, as his ex-husband spins the story out to their friends. How can he avoid being painted as the bad guy? 

A dad just got a delicious Prince Albert piercing. How can he explain this new jewelry when his young son sees it? 

On the Magnum: when your career focuses on education around sexually transmitted infections, you are a very busy lady. Dan brings back the ever-informative Dr. Ina Park to talk about home remedies for herpes, PrEP for women and other questions relating to the modern plagues. 

And, when introverts marry extroverts: Sometimes it works perfectly. But this alpha female wishes her man would make some friends already. 

We are your best friends. Call us up!

206-302-2064 Q@Savage.Love

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When drunk friends pounce! A happily married, monogamous man went to a concert with his gal pal. But she arrived so drunk, staggering around and embarrassing herself, that he had to bundle her in a car and get her home. But she made sloppy moves on him, and although it's been a long time, he can't let it go or fully forgive her. Should he confront her? Will she even remember? 

A man has been hanging out with and flirting with a woman, letting the sexual tension build. But he and his ex are beginning to talk again, and he thinks they will get back together. How can he tell his friend/crush to cool her jets when nothing has even been acknowledged? 

On the Magnum: Ah the perils of being in the "sex space." People think that because you write or podcast about sex that you're down for anything with anyone. Dan and April & Amy from "Shameless Sex" had a LOT to talk about. Like, why step-porn can be empowering for women, why cuddle puddles aren't for everyone and, hear the odd tale of the choking masseuse. 

And read their book! 

Shameless Sex: Choose Your Own Pleasure Path to Unlock the Sex Life You've Been Waiting For.

And, a woman's husband confessed that he had cheated on her a few times before they got married. Now they are open, and she gets way more action than he does. But she's still angry that he cheated on her long ago. Is this an relationship extinction level event? Or can she just write it off already?

Ya'll already know the answer, dontcha?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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When telling a hook-up that you don't want to continue seeing them, how much detail should you give? A woman enjoyed the sex with her quickie guy, but he was too insecure and needy for her tastes. Should she tell him this in the exit interview? 

A lesbian was terribly bullied in school by three mean girls. She moved to Europe, came out and got her life together. One of the mean girls has been messaging her and flirting, asking her out for drinks for when she visits. So, to put it bluntly, should the caller fuck the shit out of her bully over Thanksgiving? 

On the Magnum: Are you the parent of a horny teen? Or a soon-to-be horny teen? Talking to them about sex can be daunting. Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of "Yes Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Teens and Sex." They talk about access to porn, social media, and when your three-year-old wanks at daycare. 

A woman and her best friend went to a party and used some undisclosed substances. The friend then told the caller she was in love with her and that they should get married someday. The caller is intrigued, but she's already married! Was the friend serious? Should she risk her marriage? Was her friend rolling on Molly and would have declared her love to a toaster?  

Declare your love to us. 

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.