Episode 3 - Metta: Loving Kindness Practice

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Hello and welcome to today's episode of Spirit Outspoken.

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I am here with my cohost, Rachel, and we have an amazing episode to bring you today around Metta, which is the Buddhist loving kindness practice.

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But before we get into that, Rach, how are you doing?

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Do you really want to know?

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I really want to know.

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I feel like this has been a nutty week for everybody.

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It has been a nutty week.

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And in fact, we were just chit chatting before we fired up here about how this morning, I'm not going to lie, it was a little crazy in my household.

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Do tell.

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My car had some mechanical stuff and so we had to bring it in and you were down to one car and we're trying to figure out logistics and it just was a morning where we had to get up early and my husband happened to have to go into work early and we're trying to figure this all out and we have a kid who doesn't want to go to school and long story short.

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Lost it.

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I lost my cool this morning.

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I pride myself on being able to hold it together Most of the time and it doesn't happen very often, but I had a moment What does it look like when you lose it?

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Well this morning I just was like You know like I had it yeah, it was way too much stress You know, the motherlode is real of just the motherlode is a motherlode and just trying to carry the weight of everyone.

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It feels like that so often, like I'm thinking about the kids, I'm thinking about the home stuff.

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I'm thinking about the dog.

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I'm thinking about, our work stuff.

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I'm thinking about what time my husband has to get to work.

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I'm all of it, is just kind of crazy and sometimes it can just feel like too much.

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And today it felt like too much.

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I'm so proud of myself though, because a few years ago, I would have gone into a major shame spiral after that of, Oh my gosh, really beat myself up about it.

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And I was like, what a sign of growth because today I just was like, you know what?

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I'm human.

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This was too much today.

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I had a moment.

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I repaired it with my kids and my family and apologized.

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You're able to mentally move on and we're moving on.

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Yeah.

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Like I'm done beating myself up about that.

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Cause it's just, it's part of being human.

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It's so true.

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I feel like I carry so much guilt I feel like I care less about losing my mind.

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Cause I'm like, you guys deserve it.

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But like, it's more about kicking myself.

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If I've made a parenting mistake.

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stake or something like that.

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And somebody said something to me.

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where losing your cool in front of your kids, is actually a good thing or can turn into an opportunity because first and foremost No one's going to be able to keep it together all the time.

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And our kids are inevitably going to be parents one day and they will lose their cool and they need to see somebody modeling.

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Good reparative behavior after that happens.

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So it's an opportunity to go to your kids and say, listen, I didn't handle that the best way.

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Let's talk through that.

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And I feel like I've been trying to implement that too in our house and I've noticed in doing that well, at least one of my kids, the oldest kid, When they lose their cool about something they're more receptive to having a conversation after that where before they just shut down and you see It they feel shameful.

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Yeah, they feel guilty and they don't want to talk because those feelings are so big but I've noticed That particular individual's more willingness to be like, yeah, let's talk about that.

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That wasn't my best look, good for you.

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Cause you've normalized it.

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Right.

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Like you've been like, Hey, this shit losing, but that is good.

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And I've actually said that to my girls.

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I'm like, you know what?

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I'm still learning how to deal with my big feelings because I didn't get a lot of practice when I was young.

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I did a lot of just stuffing.

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And so I never learned how to really process and deal with that.

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So sometimes I'm working on it too and it doesn't always come out right.

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Of course.

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And I'll tell that to my kids too.

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I'll be like, you know what?

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You should practice your big emotions more.

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Practice on daddy.

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He's really good.

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Ready.

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He's ready and waiting.

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He's your coach.

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I will say that I'm really excited about this episode and obviously as being one of the co hosts of Spirit Unspoken, I get a preview into some of the content and what we're thinking about doing.

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And I got to say.

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Meta saved me this week.

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Yes, it did.

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I had a situation that really rocked me and I won't get into it now.

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And Meta quite literally shifted my entire perspective.

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It regulated my nervous system, the emotions I was feeling.

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And I particularly loved the meditation and the person that was doing it, but I'm not going to, I'm not going to reveal the secret yet.

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but anyway, very timely.

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Don't forget before we get started, if today's episode is useful, if you know somebody going through a hard time, share it with them.

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So yeah, keep the love going and get the word of spirit outspoken out there, either on Tik Tok or Instagram, or continue to follow us on Spotify or Apple podcasts, whatever platforms you prefer.

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We're growing our community and it feels good to be out there.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It really does.

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And thank you already for the amazing comments and support that we're getting.

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Oh my gosh.

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It was so fun this week to hear back from people about, Oh, I'm sending this to someone who I think it'll really resonate with, or I did a meditation after listening.

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That's what this is all about for us is helping people.

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It gives us life.

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It really does.

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Yes, it does.

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All right.

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So Metta, Rach, what are we talking about?

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Yeah.

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So this is probably a concept that a lot of people may have never heard of before.

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It actually comes to us from the Buddhist tradition, and we're going to take a deep dive into it today.

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It's both a principle of Buddhism as well as a form of meditative practice.

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So throughout our discussion, we're going to begin to understand what META is, how it can be incorporated into our life, and also share some research that's shown the proven benefits, both physical and psychological, from doing this.

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So it's really interesting and fascinating.

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But as a principle, Metta is often translated as loving kindness, and it involves cultivating unconditional love, warmth, friendliness, and goodwill towards all living beings.

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And I love that part about all living beings in particular.

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So this includes other people, ourselves, animals, and the environment.

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Basically anything that is a part of the natural world, this sure sounds like.

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That love that we're trying to obtain via agape, right?

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Yeah.

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And a lot of times people might ask okay, so loving kindness, why can't we just call this love?

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But MED is actually attached to a more spiritual quality, wanting and wishing the best for someone or something.

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So warmth, friendliness, goodwill.

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And, I would say even in situations where someone might be difficult or challenging, even starting with just a simple, level of respect, right, respecting that it is another person who was created or has been created by God and acknowledging that as a basis of where to start.

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Because the reality is when we're using this, sometimes it's going to be really challenging, emotionally charged situations and people.

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Oh, definitely.

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So starting at just that really basic level is going to be really helpful.

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One thing that you had touched on, too, is as we're relating this back to previous episodes, when we talked about agape, one word that kind of stuck out to me with this was the idea of it being unconditional.

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It's not earned.

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It's just given, and it's through our own act that we give this to other people and other things in our lives.

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You know what I think is interesting about this?

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It's almost like We don't really have a choice and I it's in a good way, right?

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We don't have optionality of whether or not we should extend respects and loving kindness I think it's a good distinction.

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You don't have to love everybody, right?

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Loving kindness is different.

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It's just seeing the person as a child of God, as another human being, another soul that's going through their own challenges and have their own backgrounds and things that they're working through it should be a baseline understanding of all of us really being one and from the same place that this is just inherently what we do for each other.

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Yes, we are connected.

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And I think it reestablishes that connection, especially when you look at discord and arguments and conflict.

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It makes us feel so separate.

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And I feel like this really brings us back to that connection piece and that awareness of oneness.

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Yes, I love that.

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And so you might be saying, okay why is this important?

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And that's what we were just touching on a little bit.

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But one of the main reasons that we want to engage in this practice is actually for ourselves.

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And so in Buddhism, they talk a lot about how when we hold negative emotions, we're actually creating a suffering state or a punishment for ourselves.

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So this reminded me a lot too, of why we have forgiveness in Christianity, right?

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Like it's about releasing it so that we do not have to carry.

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That judgment and that hurt and that suffering within us.

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And I loved an example that the Buddha gave of, that if we throw a burning coal at our enemy, the reality is when we pick up a hot coal, we burn our own hand in the process.

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It's so true.

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It just sums it up perfectly.

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Like a couple of times, like the burn hand was worth it.

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I'm not going to lie.

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You just blow on it and run it under some water and find that.

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But it's so true.

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It's like we carry around this pain and I don't know about you.

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Like sometimes if I get into emotionally charged situation or somebody insults me or hurts me, insert, whatever here, I will ruminate on that.

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And it will loop and loop and loop in my head.

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And I don't even know if that person has any frigging clue what they said hurt my feelings or insulted me or if they care, right?

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They probably moved on or knitting a sweater and I'm there like what?

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You know, but it's true.

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It causes for me such internal angst and I think what's cool about meta is you're not saying that those feelings aren't real and they're not invalid, but it's a practice to neutralize those feelings in a way.

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Yes.

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And I think about times when I've had that same situation and Look at how much it takes for my day.

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It takes away from your time with your family, from your attention to other things.

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And it quite literally can suck the life out of you.

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It's draining.

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You're in that draining, exhausting place.

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Yeah.

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I'm fighting fake arguments in my head.

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I literally like it, then you know what you said?

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And I'm like, this isn't even happening.

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Like I'm just so pissed off from whatever situation just happened.

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That's me.

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Okay.

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So anyhow, this connects with me Yeah.

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I say the same thing.

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You're fiery.

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Sagittarius is a fire sign.

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I know.

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Error.

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I'm Gemini.

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Error is like very good.

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Go with the flow, but I have a Sagittarius moon that fire.

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So I've got a fiery emotional backbone.

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All right.

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Thank God I have my husband.

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He's a tourist.

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He grounds me.

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He's the earth.

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And yeah, he puts out your fire.

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Yeah, he does.

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All right.

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So Metta actually serves as like the foundation or the starting point for what they call the four sublime states of the mind.

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And these are essentially four ideal attitudes or ways of conducting our own behavior towards other living beings.

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And the belief is that you have to master them one by one in a certain particular order and they build off of each other.

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Oh, okay.

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So it's.

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It starts with meta, which is loving kindness for ourselves and every other living being that leads into compassion.

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And that's when we can really start to build empathy, right?

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We start to be aware of other people and notice their suffering and have compassion for them.

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Then we go into appreciative joy, which essentially is just being able to be happy for other people's to celebrate their wins and their successes in life.

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And then ultimately where we're trying to get.

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It's equanimity, which just means that we're able to have a sense of calm and ease and peace even in times of stress and overwhelm.

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Isn't that what we're all striving for?

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And I think what's cool about this is that this practice, it touches on what I was saying about my own experience, right?

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I really found it to neutralize and dissolve feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, like really heavy feelings and what's cool about this is that each of these practices.

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Are known to dissolve some of the human suffering, right?

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Appreciative joy will help dissolve jealousy, having compassion helps dissolve judgment or these perceived differences that separate us, loving kindness, dissolves the anger, the frustration towards somebody, the irritability that we feel from a circumstance.

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So this isn't just theoretical, you guys, this is a practice and a way that you can approach negative feelings that quite honestly can torment us on any given day.

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Yeah.

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And so how do we actually begin to take this and practice it?

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Yeah.

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How do we do it?

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How do we do it?

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It's all about mindfulness and intention and we begin by simply reflecting on our emotional state and our feelings and how we're responding to others, whether that's a scenario or a person, we want to look at ourselves and this struck a chord with me from doing therapy because I thought about, one of the things that I had learned to that has been so helpful to me was that typically when we have a large emotional reaction or response to something or really feel lit up and agitated, it says a lot more about something going on with us the other person involved.

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And so my therapist had given me the Wonderful tip of, hey, anytime you have a really strong reaction to something, whether that's judgment or frustration or anger, pause and think about what it is within you that's causing that, because typically it's some underlying hurt, fear, insecurity, something is going on within you to cause that result.

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So when I saw this, I was like, who knew?

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The Buddhists, I mean, you're dropping truth bombs right now.

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They were like, far ahead of their time.

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It's like therapy one on one.

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So I love that.

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So essentially that's what you do, right?

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You have this strong emotional reaction to something and you start going, okay.

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How am I reacting to this?

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Just simply observing and being aware of where do I feel this in my body?

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What's happening right now?

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What kind of emotions are coming up for me?

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Just acknowledging and being very objective in viewing me.

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for listening.

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Your response to something so after you reflect, you intentionally send loving kindness, to yourself and the other party involved.

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You do this by simply concentrating and reciting, either in your head or out loud, whatever you want to do, phrases of good wishes towards yourself and the other person.

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So you can make up whatever phrase you want to do, but for example, I have one that I love to do, which is just four phrases of may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you be free.

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And that was just the way that somebody taught me.

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And so that's the one I do.

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But you could do, May you find God.

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May you evolve.

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May you, Whatever you want to say.

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you know, yes.

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And I love your version of it because it does feel so grounded in basic humanity.

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Yes.

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It doesn't feel fake.

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Exactly.

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And I can still be really upset with you and still wish that on a human level, you have peace, that you're safe, that you, have all these very basic human needs.

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And it just allows that process to begin in a way that feels real and authentic.

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I'm obsessed with this.

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Yeah.

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You've got me hooked on Metta.

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I love it.

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got two T's, you guys.

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Yeah.

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Not the other Metta.

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And I have to give a shout out because really it all came from Miss Candice Rasa, who we will have on the show.

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But she's our spiritual guru, but she's the one who, who, who, who, who, who, Also drops truth bombs.

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Uh, yeah.

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And one thing that's really important to note too, is this is not meant you guys to override or not allow us to slide back.

00:17:54.134 --> 00:17:55.855
to feel our emotions.

00:17:55.875 --> 00:17:57.914
In fact, it's quite the opposite, right?

00:17:57.964 --> 00:18:02.315
It's not meant to just shove your feelings aside and push them under the rug.

00:18:02.315 --> 00:18:07.384
It's to acknowledge how you're feeling and then work through them, I think that's so key.

00:18:07.444 --> 00:18:07.724
Yeah.

00:18:07.765 --> 00:18:11.599
Cause I have a pattern and I'm curious if you are similar.

00:18:11.879 --> 00:18:16.450
Like I would say my baseline is I'm a very positive, happy person,, I am, that's my demeanor.

00:18:17.099 --> 00:18:27.634
So when I feel a negative emotion, especially like a, Big, heavy ones, sadness, fear, you know, resentment.

00:18:28.375 --> 00:18:30.634
I have an allergic reaction to those.

00:18:30.735 --> 00:18:32.365
it almost stirs up an anxiety.

00:18:32.365 --> 00:18:35.535
It's like, I have the negative emotion that I'm like, Oh, I don't want to feel this.

00:18:35.535 --> 00:18:36.045
I want to feel this.

00:18:36.045 --> 00:18:36.275
Yes.

00:18:36.295 --> 00:18:37.404
And I want to get rid of it.

00:18:37.414 --> 00:18:47.855
So my inclination is just to ignore it, power through it, loop in my brain to figure out if there was a different way that events could have played out to avoid set emotions.

00:18:48.355 --> 00:18:55.105
And what's cool about this is that facing the emotions head on and working through them is part of the practice.

00:18:55.134 --> 00:18:55.535
Yes.

00:18:55.575 --> 00:19:00.365
And it forces you to really work through them, which for me, I've never done.

00:19:00.434 --> 00:19:08.265
It's almost like immersive exposure therapy, and I'm amazed at how quickly you can work through them when you choose that path.

00:19:09.095 --> 00:19:09.805
Absolutely.

00:19:09.855 --> 00:19:15.075
As someone who spent years literally like running and avoiding my feelings in every possible way.

00:19:15.475 --> 00:19:18.424
It's so true that the only way out is through.

00:19:18.475 --> 00:19:24.644
Because no matter what, even if you think you have a handle on it, it is in there.

00:19:24.705 --> 00:19:28.995
If you have not taken the time to reflect and really feel your feelings, it's in there.

00:19:29.005 --> 00:19:30.045
It manifests in different ways.

00:19:30.095 --> 00:19:37.944
if we don't deal with these deep seated things and we just shove them somewhere, listen, emotions are energy.

00:19:38.144 --> 00:19:38.404
Yep.

00:19:38.475 --> 00:19:39.825
And energy has to move.

00:19:39.845 --> 00:19:40.884
It has to go somewhere.

00:19:40.924 --> 00:19:47.225
And if we just stick it internally and we don't move it through it'll wreak havoc, I know I did here.

00:19:47.225 --> 00:19:57.420
I have to just share it because I heard one analogy once that I loved that was the equivalent of taking a beach ball and yeah, you try to push it under the water and you can only do it for so long.

00:19:57.450 --> 00:20:00.990
And then eventually that thing is going to come up and smack you right in the face.

00:20:00.990 --> 00:20:01.380
Right.

00:20:01.509 --> 00:20:02.980
And it's the same with our emotions.

00:20:02.980 --> 00:20:07.180
You can try however hard you want to keep it in control and keep those things in check.

00:20:07.200 --> 00:20:09.480
But if you don't deal with it, it's going to come out.

00:20:09.480 --> 00:20:09.700
Yeah.

00:20:09.700 --> 00:20:11.450
Your beach ball popped up this morning.

00:20:11.620 --> 00:20:12.610
Yeah, it did.

00:20:12.750 --> 00:20:13.600
It came right up.

00:20:13.620 --> 00:20:14.380
Came right up.

00:20:14.380 --> 00:20:15.580
Smack me right in the face.

00:20:16.509 --> 00:20:17.400
Everybody saw it.

00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:19.980
Okay.

00:20:20.269 --> 00:20:26.990
So we've touched on what it is, how we begin to practice it, but now let's talk about how does this work?

00:20:26.990 --> 00:20:30.890
What starts to happen within ourselves to actually make this transformation happen?

00:20:31.180 --> 00:20:35.180
And really what it's all about is that we filter everything through our mind.

00:20:35.730 --> 00:20:39.799
So what starts to happen is not that the other person changes.

00:20:40.205 --> 00:20:44.904
Or that the situation changes, but rather that we begin to change in our mind.

00:20:45.414 --> 00:20:45.795
Yep.

00:20:45.815 --> 00:20:50.035
Back to how our emotions are a reflection of something going on within us.

00:20:50.755 --> 00:20:55.035
Our mental state begins to shift in these small, subtle ways.

00:20:55.035 --> 00:20:58.105
Our energy begins to shift in these very small, subtle ways.

00:20:58.105 --> 00:21:03.904
And before we know it, our view and perception of the situation begins to change.

00:21:04.115 --> 00:21:10.634
And even if it doesn't come to reconciliation or maybe even a super positive outcome.

00:21:10.894 --> 00:21:17.105
We will still show up and be able to experience the same scenario with less stress and with less discourse.

00:21:17.295 --> 00:21:18.715
There's almost an acceptance.

00:21:19.049 --> 00:21:19.480
Yes.

00:21:19.580 --> 00:21:34.559
You're not necessarily changing yourself in a way that makes you vulnerable to a negative situation, but the point of changing your perception and changing from the inside out, I think is so key.

00:21:34.569 --> 00:21:52.190
It's so different than how we're normally programmed to handle problems, you go through a difficult situation and your inclination is to prove to them that you're right, to make them change their mind about a situation, to make them handle a situation differently, to respond to you more respectfully.

00:21:52.580 --> 00:22:04.860
But truly, We can only heal ourselves, but by healing ourselves and extending that love to others, we can impact others in a positive way, but it starts with us, right?

00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:05.799
It starts with us.

00:22:06.080 --> 00:22:37.980
And I almost think about the Christian scripture, a soft answer turns away wrath, If I see somebody having a really emotional reaction to a conversation that will sometimes occur to me where if I come from a place of love and I cool my emotional temperature and I respond differently, it brings everything down, and in that way, I'm not controlling the outcome and I'm not, controlling that individual's response, but it's making room.

00:22:38.225 --> 00:22:42.795
For a more healthy, loving dialogue that can be more productive.

00:22:42.894 --> 00:22:46.265
but that has a spillover effect to other people innately.

00:22:46.384 --> 00:22:47.184
Absolutely.

00:22:47.315 --> 00:22:57.109
And I would add It's not only a stance of peace, but it's also incredibly powerful which is so ironic that the two hold space in the same scenario.

00:22:57.129 --> 00:23:06.969
But from doing this work in my own life, I found that it's amazing to be able to show up in a situation that at one point just wreaked havoc in my nervous system, right?

00:23:06.979 --> 00:23:10.019
I was all over the place with fight or flight mode, crazy.

00:23:10.693 --> 00:23:19.844
And to be able to enter that same scenario or the same situation and truly feel no strong emotion either way.

00:23:20.179 --> 00:23:23.548
To just be, it is what it is neutral Nelly.

00:23:23.649 --> 00:23:33.019
To have that neutrality is so powerful and freeing and mind blowing to truly feel that on the inside of your body.

00:23:33.278 --> 00:23:47.249
Not I'm pretending to feel content in this moment or I'm good at masking it, but I truly am walking into a situation that used to just fire me up and make me livid and I can enter it and feel completely at peace.

00:23:47.598 --> 00:23:50.239
And not only peace, but just neutral.

00:23:51.009 --> 00:23:51.328
Yes.

00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:52.739
And like, listen, neutral is a win.

00:23:52.739 --> 00:24:02.889
You guys is a major win, we're not generating those negative emotions with our own cognitive reaction to the situation.

00:24:02.969 --> 00:24:05.399
So I'm going to bring it back full circle to what you said in the beginning.

00:24:06.019 --> 00:24:07.869
Ironically, this is for us.

00:24:08.229 --> 00:24:14.509
It's for us, even though the things that you go through in the mantra perceptually would be for that other person.

00:24:14.509 --> 00:24:15.919
But it's for you.

00:24:16.009 --> 00:24:19.409
And it's a way to approach this and help yourself.

00:24:19.409 --> 00:24:21.909
That's in a genuine way that doesn't feel fake yeah.

00:24:21.969 --> 00:24:29.973
And what I loved about this in particular, because like we touched on earlier, it essentially is the same idea as forgiveness that we refer to in Christianity.

00:24:29.973 --> 00:24:35.984
But what I appreciate about the Buddhist perspective is they give you a tangible process and tools to work through it.

00:24:36.284 --> 00:24:40.524
Whereas growing up in the Christian faith, I would hear a lot of forgive and do this and that.

00:24:40.524 --> 00:24:47.574
And it was like, yeah, but it would feel fake at times, or it would feel wrong because it would feel like I was letting somebody off the hook.

00:24:47.584 --> 00:24:57.693
And I know That's not what true forgiveness is about it's very much in line With what this is saying, but I just love that this breaks it down into a process that we can use.

00:24:57.744 --> 00:25:09.364
And so you can, if you're a Christian or if you're Jewish or whatever your faith or whatever you want to use for your mantras, you can apply it specifically to make it more personal for what your belief system is.

00:25:09.384 --> 00:25:09.884
Totally.

00:25:09.903 --> 00:25:14.264
But it's just a wonderful overview and a wonderful tool to have in your spiritual toolbox.

00:25:15.098 --> 00:25:27.837
So I think you just said something super interesting, and I think you stated something that I was trying to articulate, if you're not to forgive, this is a great place to start.

00:25:27.867 --> 00:25:28.648
That's what I love about it.

00:25:28.648 --> 00:25:38.458
Yeah, because In reality, if it's raw, if it just happened, it's really hard to just get to that place of forgiveness where you really move on.

00:25:38.538 --> 00:25:42.827
And we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to forgive and we may not be ready to.

00:25:42.968 --> 00:25:43.288
Yeah.

00:25:43.778 --> 00:25:49.587
And I love that this extends the kindness to ourselves, which I think is missing in that piece sometimes.

00:25:49.638 --> 00:26:10.638
So positive psychology posted an amazing article that really dove into the clinical evidence around the meta practice And I love this because the science community is recognizing these amazing tangible benefits, not only on our psyches, but on our physical bodies as well.

00:26:10.698 --> 00:26:15.508
And I love that Western and Eastern are combining, right?

00:26:15.508 --> 00:26:18.577
Like we're doing studies, we're recognizing this has real impact.

00:26:18.587 --> 00:26:20.528
And we're going to talk you through a few of these.

00:26:20.948 --> 00:26:23.567
The first one is reduced self criticism.

00:26:24.148 --> 00:26:27.827
So the loving kindness meditation quiets our inner critic.

00:26:28.143 --> 00:26:30.293
And helps us be more self accepting.

00:26:30.293 --> 00:26:39.053
And I think we see that because such a big part of the loving kindness meditation is to first extend that loving kindness energy to yourself.

00:26:39.303 --> 00:26:39.603
Yeah.

00:26:39.712 --> 00:26:46.293
They also did a seven week clinical study that resulted in a reduction in self harming impulses.

00:26:47.323 --> 00:26:51.373
With individuals that have suicidal tendencies, think about that.

00:26:51.383 --> 00:26:52.593
That's incredible.

00:26:52.613 --> 00:26:53.323
Think about that.

00:26:53.363 --> 00:26:53.692
Yeah.

00:26:53.742 --> 00:27:07.523
In seven weeks, just implementing MEDA, they were able to drastically change, wiring in their brain, imbalances that would create a suicidal tendency.

00:27:07.593 --> 00:27:10.363
This is literally able to save lives, right?

00:27:10.363 --> 00:27:12.442
So that's very, very cool.

00:27:12.442 --> 00:27:13.813
What else do we have, Rach?

00:27:13.932 --> 00:27:21.333
Alright along with just enhanced well being, which seems to be obvious, another thing is that it helps improve and reduce cellular aging.

00:27:21.333 --> 00:27:22.553
So this is super interesting.

00:27:22.603 --> 00:27:26.962
If you've ever heard of telomeres, telomeres are involved in how and why we age.

00:27:27.003 --> 00:27:33.553
And they're essentially like these little protective caps that are found at the ends of our chromosomes or at the end of the DNA.

00:27:33.603 --> 00:27:39.373
And they play a role in aging because they limit the number of times the cells in our body can actually divide.

00:27:39.383 --> 00:27:42.873
So there's a finite number of times in our lifetimes that our cells can divide.

00:27:43.303 --> 00:27:49.393
And at the end of this long strand of DNA that's in every cell is the same set of letters.

00:27:49.753 --> 00:27:54.103
And that needs to be part of the code in order for the cell to turn over.

00:27:54.523 --> 00:27:57.653
And basically every time it does turn over.

00:27:57.883 --> 00:28:01.452
It's like that little code, one snippet of it gets cut.

00:28:01.893 --> 00:28:02.452
Does that make sense?

00:28:02.492 --> 00:28:02.932
It does.

00:28:02.942 --> 00:28:05.123
it like a really long receipt of coding.

00:28:05.143 --> 00:28:05.442
Yep.

00:28:05.523 --> 00:28:12.742
And you only have maybe a few hundred to a few thousand of these little, same DNA codes that have to be there in order for that cell to divide.

00:28:12.742 --> 00:28:26.923
But every time it does, it gets a snip and it gets shorter so they did a 12 week randomized trial and they found that loving kindness meditation was actually able to buffer or slow down that shortening process that's amazing.

00:28:27.053 --> 00:28:29.273
You guys, there's so much potential.

00:28:29.303 --> 00:28:30.903
This is amazing.

00:28:31.192 --> 00:28:31.432
Okay.

00:28:31.432 --> 00:28:55.043
The next one is near and dear to my heart so patients who had chronic back pain and migraines, when they did the loving kindness meditation, even for brief periods, They experience a reduction in pain symptoms and they noted that they are able to do their day to day lives With more ease and comfort think of the possibilities with this.

00:28:55.563 --> 00:29:05.393
I mean my mind is blown You know you think about the opioid addiction and the problem that we have with that if we could find some other tangible ways to help reduce pain.

00:29:05.423 --> 00:29:09.093
And maybe it doesn't get rid of it completely, but just to reduce or Take the edge off.

00:29:09.143 --> 00:29:12.533
I think what's so amazing to think about how many buckets this is hitting.

00:29:12.603 --> 00:29:12.883
Yeah.

00:29:12.913 --> 00:29:20.383
It's not like you have to do one particular meditation to reduce your back pain, one particular meditation to, you know, improve your health.

00:29:20.383 --> 00:29:21.653
It is really.

00:29:21.938 --> 00:29:27.918
An end to end spectrum of any physical or mental ailment you may be experiencing.

00:29:27.988 --> 00:29:28.317
Yeah.

00:29:28.948 --> 00:29:29.468
Love it.

00:29:29.888 --> 00:29:33.268
Another one they studied was around resilience.

00:29:33.758 --> 00:29:45.847
They looked at patients with long term post traumatic stress disorder and showed that engaging in compassion and self love meditations reduced trauma symptoms and flashbacks.

00:29:45.898 --> 00:29:51.678
Again, this is just crazy to me that this simple practice can do so much.

00:29:51.708 --> 00:29:52.337
Yes.

00:29:52.978 --> 00:29:55.678
On the topic of resiliencies, they did two other studies.

00:29:55.938 --> 00:30:02.638
One was around folks who had post traumatic stress disorder and they needed to go back to work.

00:30:02.898 --> 00:30:12.978
They armed them with loving kindness meditation scripts and they found that they could resume work sooner than other participants that received other instructions.

00:30:13.458 --> 00:30:17.708
Lastly around resilience, talk about healthcare providers and burnout.

00:30:17.738 --> 00:30:18.388
Oh, yeah.

00:30:18.468 --> 00:30:22.638
Think about what that population of individuals went through during COVID.

00:30:22.638 --> 00:30:26.128
And I would say now, I mean, our health system is upside down.

00:30:26.488 --> 00:30:34.398
the meta practice helps with resiliency burnout in healthcare providers.

00:30:35.138 --> 00:30:42.898
I mean, it's arming them with strength to do really hard, difficult things that normal people would crack under, right?

00:30:42.898 --> 00:30:53.097
So we're seeing it improve physical outcomes, you know, dissolve negative feelings, but also strengthen us from within to handle difficult problems as they arise.

00:30:54.198 --> 00:30:58.188
And then along those same lines, VA also found that it improves relationships.

00:30:58.218 --> 00:31:00.587
So that should be no surprise as well, right?

00:31:00.597 --> 00:31:06.317
That it improves ourselves and then it improves our relationship and our dynamic with those around us.

00:31:06.748 --> 00:31:07.188
Yes.

00:31:07.188 --> 00:31:09.268
It references connections at work.

00:31:09.298 --> 00:31:12.278
Those can sometimes be really tricky conversations to navigate, right?

00:31:12.278 --> 00:31:14.128
Because we don't choose our coworkers, right?

00:31:14.408 --> 00:31:20.268
Um, we don't, we don't even choose our family members sometimes, you know, like thinking about.

00:31:20.718 --> 00:31:29.367
How we work through those situations, um, in a way that promotes harmony and peace within, I think is great.

00:31:30.128 --> 00:31:32.807
And then lastly, they also found that it improved mental health.

00:31:32.837 --> 00:31:34.168
And I think this is such a great thing.

00:31:34.438 --> 00:31:35.648
It has so much potential.

00:31:35.658 --> 00:31:44.918
So this is still in its beginning stages, but their preliminary findings reported a reduction in rumination and negative effect in patients diagnosed with depression.

00:31:45.148 --> 00:31:46.688
And then this is such a huge one.

00:31:46.698 --> 00:31:53.918
They also found reduced hallucinations and delusions in patients diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

00:31:55.133 --> 00:31:56.712
Okay, that's bonkers.

00:31:56.813 --> 00:32:03.583
And love reading this because it ties back to what I was referencing in the beginning So I had that experience this week with a situation.

00:32:03.583 --> 00:32:05.043
I was already.

00:32:05.452 --> 00:32:11.553
At a tough spot from an emotional vulnerability standpoint, and we all go through those periods.

00:32:11.553 --> 00:32:13.283
You already feel like you're hanging by a thread.

00:32:13.293 --> 00:32:13.603
Yes.

00:32:13.623 --> 00:32:16.323
I was like hanging by a thread that has been fraying.

00:32:16.482 --> 00:32:17.033
Okay.

00:32:17.353 --> 00:32:25.253
And then, what I perceive to be a really hurtful and challenging conversation.

00:32:25.303 --> 00:32:30.222
It really caused some I'll say suffering What was so cool?

00:32:30.442 --> 00:32:45.918
was that as part of this episode Rach recorded A 10 minute meta meditation and I'm explaining this conversation that I had with my best friend totally out of the context of the podcast and just saying, Oh, my gosh, I'm crushed.

00:32:45.918 --> 00:32:46.807
I feel gutted.

00:32:47.117 --> 00:32:49.867
And I'm having a hard time coming out of it.

00:32:50.567 --> 00:33:03.768
And you were wise enough to recommend the Metta practice to me and I was like, practice what you preach girl, you sent over the Metta meditation that you had just recorded and I did it.

00:33:04.038 --> 00:33:08.307
admittedly this is the first time I've done the Metta meditation, like I'm familiar with the practice.

00:33:09.347 --> 00:33:23.488
I've obviously been studying it as part of spirit outspoken, but I've never actually done it I did the meditation and I kid you not, and I'm not just saying this, it dissolved the emotions almost immediately.

00:33:23.648 --> 00:33:23.988
Yeah.

00:33:24.057 --> 00:33:25.218
Almost immediately.

00:33:25.228 --> 00:33:27.018
And this was 10 minutes.

00:33:27.478 --> 00:33:32.218
And I will say the beginning part where you're examining your own emotions, I could feel it.

00:33:32.228 --> 00:33:35.768
I could feel it in my gut, that pit in your stomach.

00:33:36.038 --> 00:33:41.077
The dread, the anxiety, and, you know, I sort of catastrophize.

00:33:41.117 --> 00:33:48.798
I go to worst case scenario, like, well, I guess, just never going to talk to that person again, you know, and that elicits a really strong response.

00:33:48.807 --> 00:34:00.077
So working through that in the meditation felt really unnatural to me at first, because I am somebody that wants To ignore, push, pretend like those emotions are not happening.

00:34:00.337 --> 00:34:04.198
And I was really, led through facing them.

00:34:05.138 --> 00:34:10.277
And I felt like that was so critical to expediting the healing.

00:34:11.057 --> 00:34:18.478
And I think that's the major difference that, and what I loved was I was not in a moment to forgive that individual.

00:34:18.677 --> 00:34:18.958
Yeah.

00:34:18.978 --> 00:34:20.577
I was not there in that moment.

00:34:20.577 --> 00:34:33.407
I was not ready to and the meta meditation still helped neutralize those feelings when I walked away, it really didn't matter to me if I resolved it and by resolved it.

00:34:33.407 --> 00:34:36.987
I mean, like tell the person off, tell them exactly how you made me feel, right?

00:34:36.998 --> 00:34:38.998
Cause like, that's really what my.

00:34:39.172 --> 00:34:50.692
Instinct and my ego was telling me to do yeah, and after leaving the meditation and doing the mantra of Extending them peace and safety and happiness and health things.

00:34:50.692 --> 00:34:59.123
I genuinely do want for that person Yeah, I have I could say like I genuinely want for any person that pit my stomach, like it dissolved.

00:34:59.172 --> 00:35:00.853
Yeah, it's amazing.

00:35:00.992 --> 00:35:06.682
I started incorporating this a while ago I was struggling with how do I hold a boundary?

00:35:07.523 --> 00:35:33.382
Without anger because I was holding on to anger Fearing that if I let the anger go that i'm going to be taken advantage of again or hurt again or whatever And this was the first practice and that's why I say it's so powerful that allowed me to To release that and still have a very clear boundary and in fact feel more powerful than I did before because now I feel more in control.

00:35:33.702 --> 00:35:39.502
I'm not triggered by anything and I can go into the situation fully present.

00:35:40.322 --> 00:35:43.572
And not have an attachment to it in any way, shape or form.

00:35:44.052 --> 00:35:45.143
How incredible is that?

00:35:45.382 --> 00:35:46.752
I think it's incredible.

00:35:46.782 --> 00:36:03.352
I, and again, it's like harping on neutrality because we're not looking to automatically turn what's a hurtful or challenging situation or interaction with an individual into like happy, harmonious heel clicking, that's not what we're talking about.

00:36:03.382 --> 00:36:03.762
Right.

00:36:04.002 --> 00:36:05.482
So this is, I just love it.

00:36:05.482 --> 00:36:06.942
And I gotta say, you guys, like.

00:36:07.427 --> 00:36:09.167
I am the guinea pig.

00:36:09.197 --> 00:36:10.157
I tried it.

00:36:10.367 --> 00:36:13.717
I tried the exact meditation that Rach is going to post for you guys.

00:36:13.737 --> 00:36:14.837
I highly recommend it.

00:36:14.857 --> 00:36:16.857
I felt rejuvenated.

00:36:17.197 --> 00:36:19.552
I felt, yeah, I felt rejuvenated.

00:36:20.422 --> 00:36:23.643
Like I took a emotional shower.

00:36:24.742 --> 00:36:26.072
That's a perfect way to say it.

00:36:26.072 --> 00:36:26.832
I felt good.

00:36:26.832 --> 00:36:27.452
Yeah.

00:36:27.452 --> 00:36:27.592
Yeah.

00:36:27.592 --> 00:36:29.752
I even spread some like aromatherapy around.

00:36:29.752 --> 00:36:30.122
It was great.

00:36:30.122 --> 00:36:30.952
Felt great.

00:36:31.452 --> 00:36:32.292
So kudos.

00:36:32.332 --> 00:36:32.932
I loved it.

00:36:32.942 --> 00:36:34.342
Thanks for doing that for our listeners.

00:36:35.532 --> 00:36:37.082
So today was awesome.

00:36:37.082 --> 00:36:39.812
I, I really got so much out of it.

00:36:39.872 --> 00:36:42.562
I've seeing a noted difference in my own life.

00:36:42.562 --> 00:36:44.262
I'm going to keep doing the meta practice.

00:36:44.643 --> 00:36:46.422
Thank you guys for listening again.

00:36:46.422 --> 00:36:52.092
If you found today's episode helpful, please pass it along to other people in your community.

00:36:52.332 --> 00:36:57.082
We love to spread the word of love and loving kindness and meta.

00:36:57.572 --> 00:37:14.665
Stay tuned next week for another episode of spirit outspoken and in the meantime check out our website for resources Guides anything that you need to help you continue your spiritual journey and especially check out the meta meditation That will be posting as soon as this episode airs