Becoming Your Best Self: Triumph and Transformation with Vinny Shoreman

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to the Big Success podcast, cutting edge conversations on business and personal success, as well as how to level up.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's your host, number one business coach in the world, brad Shokers.

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<v Speaker 2>Today is one of those where it's like super special.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't wait for you to go through Vinnie Shorman Now.

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<v Speaker 2>Vinnie is famous for being a hit with therapists, right, but his way of helping you understand success and, even more than that, the things that he touches on that take you away from success.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's like it's not about you got to do these things to be successful.

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<v Speaker 2>You got to stop doing these things so that success happens for you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's going to take us into the mindset, into the brain, the difference between those who do good and those who do amazing, All of that negative mind chatter.

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<v Speaker 2>He helps us get rid of a lot of that stuff into a positive mind chatter, programming your brain for success.

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<v Speaker 2>The Vinnie Shorman, let's get to it.

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<v Speaker 2>So.

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<v Speaker 3>Vinnie with all of that in mind let's find out.

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<v Speaker 2>What is your definition of success?

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<v Speaker 4>Success to me is about what you define for yourself.

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<v Speaker 4>What you decide is your level of success.

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<v Speaker 4>Some people may be successful in business, or they may be successful in the chosen sport, or they be a better father, a better mother than what they've experienced in life.

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<v Speaker 4>So it's a very personal thing For me, for my personal success is I want to reach as many people as I can and to influence and help as many people as I can to leave my indentation of the world, because I think it's needed at the moment, if I'm honest, especially post-COVID, et cetera, you know, but it's all an individual thing, but I think if it drives you, if it gets you up in the morning, if it makes you smile and makes you happy inside obviously not all the time and you're willing to work at it, I think that's the definition for me.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that something that you started early in life, or is that something that gradually grew for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Did your definition of success change over life?

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<v Speaker 4>I was always good at talking, I mean even from when I was very young.

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<v Speaker 4>My mother told me she's no longer with us but my mother told me that I could talk pretty much straight away.

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<v Speaker 4>It was something that I was linguistically gifted.

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<v Speaker 4>Basically I never shut up, but I think for me I've always tried to make people feel better.

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<v Speaker 4>If someone was crying, it really struck a chord with me.

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<v Speaker 4>I think I'm a natural empath and I think that empathetic nature as a child I think that spurred me on to do what I do now.

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<v Speaker 4>I think yeah yeah definitely so.

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<v Speaker 2>when do you think it was for you that you chose to be a high performer, or to be successful, as the term is?

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<v Speaker 4>When I realised that people who I looked up to started to recognise that I was doing okay.

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<v Speaker 4>So when you talk to your brothers and sisters, when I talk to them in a different way, instead of being sort of semi-negative or calling myself names or pulling myself apart, I started talking in a better way.

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<v Speaker 4>So I think you'd notice it more.

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<v Speaker 4>So, firstly in your family.

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<v Speaker 4>I think your family noticed it then.

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<v Speaker 4>And then when I started having success with fighters and stuff like that, and they started to, when I started to think I'm onto something here, and that's when I started to realise that there could be a level of success.

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<v Speaker 4>And then since then, I've a self-belief of that.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't believe I'm the number one mind coach in the world.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't believe I'm the number one hitmotherapist.

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<v Speaker 4>I've never put that in my bio.

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<v Speaker 4>I think it's hilarious when people say the world's most powerful hitmotherapist is like well, it's an international hitmotherapy competition, wasn't it?

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<v Speaker 4>I always imagine him Brad.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, they're on the edge of a cliff and they've all got cloaks on, a bit like Harry Potter, and we're all trying to have hit-notes his powers.

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<v Speaker 4>I think it's the biggest joke ever If someone says to you that the world's most powerful hitmotherapists tell them.

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<v Speaker 4>Vinnie Shulman said they're not, because there's no such thing, but I just like people doing well.

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<v Speaker 4>What spurs me on and what gives me great pleasure is to see people being successful, whether it be making millions and the business going well or just people, I don't know, stroking a dog that we're terrified of, you know, yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So what's your formula for success then?

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<v Speaker 2>Or this is how success happens, type thing.

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<v Speaker 4>Success happens.

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<v Speaker 4>So you see here before you see outside.

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<v Speaker 4>So the world is what you interpret in between your ears first.

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<v Speaker 4>So for me it's about changing your internal dialogue, changing how your emotional state Look, if you're not operating say you've got a business and you're not operating happily between your ears, you're not going to operate happily in your work, you're just not.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, 55% of communication is non-verbal.

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<v Speaker 4>So if you walk in and you're in a bad mood just because you're in a bad mood with yourself, then that's going to work up across your business.

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<v Speaker 4>People work better and people get on better and teams perform better when there's a camaraderie.

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<v Speaker 4>Recently I've done some new work that's caused an absolute landslide of it sounds really strange landslide of love between people that work together.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's one thing I'm working on.

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<v Speaker 4>So that's my thing is doing that type of stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>So when you and a lot of what you do and we'll get more into the whole mindset thing in just a moment but how do you take, or how have you personally, or how, some of your clients, how do they learn from their failures?

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<v Speaker 2>Or what's the difference, I guess, between someone who learns from their failures and someone who accepts them?

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<v Speaker 4>It's all about gumption, isn't it?

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<v Speaker 4>There's never any failure-only feedback, as they say in the NLP world.

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<v Speaker 4>This is very true, but it depends on the person.

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<v Speaker 4>It depends on what they've got inside them.

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<v Speaker 4>Or they go to a specialist, like myself, or go to any sort of thing that's self-improvement to actually see well, actually, I can do this.

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<v Speaker 4>We give failure a bigger stage, and it deserves sometimes, and we should give ourselves okay, that didn't work, but what other ways can we do it?

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<v Speaker 4>So there's more than one way out of the maze than what you presume.

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<v Speaker 2>Why then do you think people do give failure that big a stage?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, because we're trained to not take risks.

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<v Speaker 4>We are trained naturally to not take risks.

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<v Speaker 4>Our unconscious mind's like well, if this happens, then that happens.

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<v Speaker 4>So we have rules that come from core beliefs that we get.

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<v Speaker 4>So it's like if I do this, then that happens.

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<v Speaker 4>So it's painful when anyone fails, it's upsetting and it can question your whole demeanor of who you are and what your own value system is and everything.

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<v Speaker 4>So when you start to question yourself, you don't really like to do that, and that's the difference between success and great success is you're willing to go.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, I'm human, I made that mistake, but I'm going to do A, b and C to make it better.

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<v Speaker 4>But pain can detract us from a lot of things and I think that sometimes you've got to accept that pain is part of life.

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<v Speaker 4>But on the other side of pain is gold sometimes, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so how do you get to have, I guess, success being the biggest stage in your mind?

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<v Speaker 2>How do you make sure that success is what you give the power to?

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<v Speaker 4>You've got to be obsessed.

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<v Speaker 4>I think you've got to be obsessed with it.

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<v Speaker 4>I think you've got to be obsessed with getting better yourself.

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<v Speaker 4>I think any success is down to what you think about you.

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<v Speaker 4>If you haven't got look, I'm not saying any statistical opinion because but if you are self ridiculed and if you're pulling yourself apart, not in the way that you make mistakes or you know and you can accept them, and not meaning that you just shrug your shoulders over mistakes.

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<v Speaker 4>No, what I'm saying is is like this, this destroying of your own, your own self by you just because you didn't do something right.

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<v Speaker 4>I think that's the most poisonous thing you can do.

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<v Speaker 4>I think you have to get a good relationship with yourself, and that's what I do is get the, get the client to, to enjoy being who they are, and then the rest of it's easy.

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<v Speaker 4>The rest you can see.

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<v Speaker 4>You can see you have more clarity.

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<v Speaker 4>You'll have more clarity on things and you can clarify things better because you don't have a judge and jury between you saying that you're guilty all the time.

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<v Speaker 4>You know.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Where did that come for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Where did you learn to be that person that was not just comfortable with yourself, but learned to love being who you are?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, it took a while.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm 54 now, so it took a while and it took a lot of learning.

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<v Speaker 4>It took.

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<v Speaker 4>At the moment, I think I'm the best I've ever been as a person, not only as a man, but as I even do my sport that I like to mess about with boxing, et cetera.

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<v Speaker 4>I think I'm better now, better skilled, better educated than have ever been.

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<v Speaker 4>And but some of that is accepting that you know.

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<v Speaker 4>You know that you don't know everything.

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<v Speaker 4>Once you get to that point where you get an arrogance about yourself, there's no, there's no flexibility to learn new stuff.

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<v Speaker 4>I accept that I don't know everything, hence not being the world's most powerful hypnotherapist.

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<v Speaker 4>I know I'm just learning all the others and just out of my mind.

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<v Speaker 2>Now I'm just going to keep seeing them all on their.

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<v Speaker 4>They don't know mate, there is so many do that.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean it's just ridiculous, but it's like.

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<v Speaker 4>You know.

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<v Speaker 4>I just I learn off everyone.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't think I'm any, I don't think I'm better than anyone, but I know I'm better than what I used to be myself.

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<v Speaker 4>So I never I'm knowing I mean no competition with if anyone other than myself has to improve and gain and gain better, and that's been a a narrative for quite a long time, if I'm honest.

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<v Speaker 2>Brilliant.

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<v Speaker 2>You're on the big success podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Brad sugar's, vinnie shulman is going to come back and we're going to talk about your mind getting into it and feeling great inside your head.

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<v Speaker 5>There's never been a better time to become successful in life than right now.

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<v Speaker 5>Creating success in your life isn't about chance.

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<v Speaker 5>It's about learning what it takes to create a great life, and that's why Brad sugars put together 30x life.

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<v Speaker 5>You get his 30 years of success in 30 minutes a day for 30 days.

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<v Speaker 5>You only get one shot at this thing called life.

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<v Speaker 5>Let's build an amazing life for you.

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<v Speaker 2>You're back.

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<v Speaker 2>Big success podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Vinnie shulman, like the most powerful, hit the therapist in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>You can say it.

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<v Speaker 2>Brad sugar said I am the most no.

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<v Speaker 4>Brad, you'll have no choice in Senate because I'll make you say it with my hypnotic powers.

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<v Speaker 2>How do we program ourselves for success?

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<v Speaker 2>This is something you teach and I absolutely love.

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<v Speaker 4>You program yourself for success with the simple reason is you've got to start stop ridiculing yourself and pulling yourself apart.

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<v Speaker 4>You know we can be so rude about ourselves and so insulted.

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<v Speaker 4>So imagine it like this Imagine a four year old child and the insults you call yourself like stupid failure.

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<v Speaker 4>You're this, you're that, you're ugly, pulling yourself apart, you make a mistake and you're a fool.

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<v Speaker 4>Imagine a four year old child repeating those things in front of you and how Horrified you would be to hear that, to hear these expletives, to hear all the things and pulling you Into into the doldrums of life.

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<v Speaker 4>You would immediately stop the four year old child.

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<v Speaker 4>You would say no, you're not like that.

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<v Speaker 4>Listen, you shouldn't be saying those things about you.

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<v Speaker 4>Yet we do it between our ear's.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, you know, people are constantly walking around with this narrative, this story that they're telling the cells, the pictures that they're holding their minds of Falsed and the things that they're telling themselves.

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<v Speaker 4>And people are constantly walking around doing this.

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<v Speaker 4>That's why people, you know, get addictions and stuff like that and low mood and and anxiety and stuff, because this is the narrative to telling the cells, the story that you're fulfilling in your own mindset.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So how do we move from that to the like, training our mind, or move towards the inner peace?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, find people that.

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<v Speaker 4>Find people that teach the things that I do.

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<v Speaker 4>So find a therapist that will talk to you about how you feel.

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<v Speaker 4>I think we've become so reserved and we've become so insular that we don't really learn anything.

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<v Speaker 4>We only know what we know from ourselves is because we know it, so we never learn anything.

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<v Speaker 4>It's like there's a tv show called who wants to be a millionaire it helps you by Chris Tarant, and he always said it's only easy if you know the answers.

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<v Speaker 4>So even if you find someone like someone like me, or a personal coach, a personal trainer who trains you to to get healthy, or get a business coach in the business world, there's always someone out there.

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<v Speaker 4>Teachers exist for a reason, so go and seek one, and and if they're not the best one that you can find, that's absolutely fine.

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<v Speaker 4>If they're not the most powerful at the therapist in the world, that's not true, anyway.

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<v Speaker 4>But I mean you can just you can go find someone who it will help you on your path and be gladly to Either lead the way or or be a supporter at the end and the beginning of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah so that the anxiety help me understand how anxiety happens in someone's in a person, I guess.

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<v Speaker 4>Anxiety is, is a necessary part of humans, of human psyche.

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<v Speaker 4>Anxiety is a protector, excuse me, anxiety protects us from danger.

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<v Speaker 4>So it'll tell you that don't go down there, because it sounds like there's a wolf down Down in them woods or whatever.

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<v Speaker 4>It's existed for a reason, for instance.

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<v Speaker 4>So this to this, to this, to this, two modes of upper and I so in the reptilian brain when we was In in the caveman times, if you was hunting for food and you knew that not only was it wild animals, not only was it other hunters, there's other other Steps of danger, this anxiety had to exist to keep us safe.

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<v Speaker 4>It keeps us safe because it just warns us against things.

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<v Speaker 4>So what we do is is like now in the world, we, we make, we make things, we know things are going to happen, yet we accentuate them because we're not getting hunted anymore.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, I hope you're not, and if you are, I hope you get safe.

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<v Speaker 4>But it's like we have this, we have this narrative in our heads that this could go wrong.

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<v Speaker 4>That could go wrong, because we're three times more likely to focus on that than we are success.

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<v Speaker 4>So that's why success takes efforts.

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<v Speaker 4>Anxiety takes none.

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<v Speaker 4>It doesn't.

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<v Speaker 4>It just exists To take to get out of.

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<v Speaker 4>That takes effort, whether you contact someone like me or that you.

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<v Speaker 4>You read books and you make the decisions to break a narrative that you tell yourself Basically, break it in a language or break what you say we could put.

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<v Speaker 4>Anxiety exist to keep us safe.

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<v Speaker 4>That's why it exists, but it's got a.

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<v Speaker 4>It's got a bad rap because we misdirect it.

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<v Speaker 2>Dang dang.

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<v Speaker 2>So the negative emotions though, because like anxiety is, I get that.

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<v Speaker 2>How do we stop, though, those negative emotions invading our brain or invading ourselves on a daily or weekly basis?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, because remember that thoughts are only opinions, they're not facts.

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<v Speaker 4>So it's I always say to my clients, it's science fiction.

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<v Speaker 4>You live in fiction, I live in science.

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<v Speaker 4>So it's like there's this narrative that I've been following, brad, when you say all these negative things about yourself, these awful things, I'm a very big fan of Dr who and his don't tell anyone.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, it's too late, and he says everything that you think you know is a lie.

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<v Speaker 4>So all these these things that you talk about yourself, these negative things, I will prove that there lies to you Because everyone's successful.

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<v Speaker 4>If he wasn't successful, we wouldn't ride bikes, drive cars, we wouldn't be able to work phones, we wouldn't walk.

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<v Speaker 4>We have a level of success, but we forget it because it becomes easy and repetitious.

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<v Speaker 4>We, we just, we just shook our shoulders over it.

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<v Speaker 4>The facts of the matter is that we are successful, successful beings.

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<v Speaker 4>That's why we're the top of the food chain.

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<v Speaker 4>However we've got, if we want to go to be a very high level, we have to go, we have to push ourselves to that high level.

00:16:17.445 --> 00:16:25.296
<v Speaker 2>So, talking of high level, when you coach boxes because you know they're all famous Mike Tyson quote everyone's got to plan till they get punched in the face.

00:16:25.296 --> 00:16:33.298
<v Speaker 2>How do you get those boxes into that state where they have that strength of mind to keep performing?

00:16:34.421 --> 00:16:36.447
<v Speaker 4>Well, the idea is not to get punched in the face.

00:16:36.447 --> 00:16:42.985
<v Speaker 4>So you know, everyone's got to get punched in the face, but the idea of boxing is not to get to the heart of the hit.

00:16:42.985 --> 00:16:46.788
<v Speaker 4>Not getting hit, it all depends on the individual.

00:16:46.788 --> 00:16:50.779
<v Speaker 4>Not only do I work with fighters, I work with everyone, from business to everybody.

00:16:50.779 --> 00:16:55.301
<v Speaker 4>I don't there's no just me just working with fighters, but with fighters it all.

00:16:55.301 --> 00:16:59.113
<v Speaker 4>It mostly is that some are built for it and some aren't.

00:16:59.653 --> 00:17:07.661
<v Speaker 4>And I'll be honest with that, because it's such a macho archetypal thing of if I can fight, then I'll, then I rule the roost a bit like that.

00:17:07.661 --> 00:17:14.667
<v Speaker 4>You know the, the, the main lion, the lion, the king of the king of the, the pride and all that sort of business.

00:17:14.667 --> 00:17:24.200
<v Speaker 4>Men have this idea and women but mainly men that I've spoken to they have this idea that if they can do that, then the whole world changes and everyone will respect them.

00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:24.820
<v Speaker 4>It's not true.

00:17:24.820 --> 00:17:28.298
<v Speaker 4>I mean, if you can fight, great when you win fights in the ring.

00:17:28.298 --> 00:17:30.203
<v Speaker 4>But you know good as a mechanic or a surgeon.

00:17:30.203 --> 00:17:35.263
<v Speaker 4>So mental strength comes from all sorts of things, all sorts of avenues.

00:17:35.304 --> 00:17:38.762
<v Speaker 4>Look at the Edmund Hillary, a very posh, well-spoken man.

00:17:38.762 --> 00:17:43.623
<v Speaker 4>Yet he climbed Everest and he's you know he's thrust by, took his fingers and all sorts of stuff.

00:17:43.623 --> 00:17:50.094
<v Speaker 4>You know he didn't have expletives, he didn't have tattoos, he didn't have a goat, he bearded, he didn't have a vicious dog, but he, but he might have done.

00:17:50.094 --> 00:18:01.598
<v Speaker 4>But I mean, it's not about that, it's about what you've got inside you and and it doesn't matter if it's to do with fighting or do with combat, it's to do with what you've got inside you to keep going when others won't.

00:18:01.598 --> 00:18:02.580
<v Speaker 4>That's the main thing.

00:18:03.603 --> 00:18:07.979
<v Speaker 2>Vinnie, what's something I can do today to strengthen my mind?

00:18:07.979 --> 00:18:13.740
<v Speaker 2>What's something I can start right now or anyone listening can start right now to get more strength of mind?

00:18:14.842 --> 00:18:19.057
<v Speaker 4>It's to join the showman's political it's to make.

00:18:19.057 --> 00:18:22.249
<v Speaker 4>It's probably true that he's absolutely, absolutely, 100% true.

00:18:22.249 --> 00:18:31.603
<v Speaker 4>What I would do is I'd hire someone because it's it's about I mean, there's a lot there's so many good therapists about and there's so many good coaches about it's.

00:18:31.603 --> 00:18:35.134
<v Speaker 4>To hire someone and you say it's like we keep these things.

00:18:35.134 --> 00:18:46.346
<v Speaker 4>We say, oh well, I'm not going to say that, because I get clients come in my office at the moment and clients have our clients all day and they come in and they always say, oh, you think this is going to sound weird or this is going to sound stupid or this is you're going to laugh at this.

00:18:46.634 --> 00:18:48.179
<v Speaker 4>And I never do it because I've heard it before.

00:18:48.179 --> 00:18:51.326
<v Speaker 4>We have this strange idea that we're unique.

00:18:51.326 --> 00:18:57.027
<v Speaker 4>Now, we're unique and I mean, but everyone thinks can think in the same, in the same processes.

00:18:57.027 --> 00:19:12.260
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we're so busy being worried about getting shamed or getting laughed at that we don't express what is going on between our ears and then you get through it and then you give your mind more sort of runway to, to, to work with.

00:19:12.260 --> 00:19:20.167
<v Speaker 4>You know, and that's the main thing is to seek someone who's got all read something, or look at successful people and go how did they do it?

00:19:20.167 --> 00:19:27.142
<v Speaker 4>Instead of being jealous and envious which is something I don't suffer from and then just going oh that's amazing, how did they do that?

00:19:27.142 --> 00:19:32.377
<v Speaker 4>It gives you space to that and, as they say universally, it'll look after you.

00:19:33.760 --> 00:19:34.001
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

00:19:34.001 --> 00:19:41.104
<v Speaker 2>So, buddy, I have to touch on something because this comes up you know being a coach and and you being a therapist and stuff.

00:19:41.104 --> 00:19:42.907
<v Speaker 2>What is it that?

00:19:42.907 --> 00:19:47.085
<v Speaker 2>There's a stigma that people don't want to Like.

00:19:47.085 --> 00:19:55.446
<v Speaker 2>I asked some clients one time why they didn't want to refer of me as a business coach, even though they give me amazing ratings, amazing testimonials.

00:19:55.446 --> 00:19:57.060
<v Speaker 2>Why didn't you give a referral?

00:19:57.060 --> 00:19:59.712
<v Speaker 2>They're like well, I kind of don't know what it meant.

00:19:59.712 --> 00:20:01.902
<v Speaker 2>I have a coach, or that I need a coach.

00:20:01.902 --> 00:20:03.588
<v Speaker 2>I'm like I don't understand that.

00:20:03.588 --> 00:20:05.856
<v Speaker 2>So you've been in this business a long time.

00:20:05.856 --> 00:20:09.906
<v Speaker 2>What is that stigma and how do we get people past it so they do seek?

00:20:09.987 --> 00:20:10.188
<v Speaker 4>help.

00:20:10.188 --> 00:20:15.073
<v Speaker 4>It's ego, because they want to come across as this certain type of person.

00:20:15.073 --> 00:20:17.580
<v Speaker 4>They don't want to because I'm a mind coach.

00:20:17.580 --> 00:20:23.945
<v Speaker 4>So people people that come to me, you know want to change the mind but, like other people, think it's a mind coach.

00:20:23.945 --> 00:20:25.354
<v Speaker 4>That is something wrong with your mind.

00:20:25.354 --> 00:20:26.076
<v Speaker 4>No, it's not.

00:20:26.076 --> 00:20:33.030
<v Speaker 4>You know, you can take your car for a service and the car might not be broken or anything like that.

00:20:33.030 --> 00:20:35.047
<v Speaker 4>We take a reservist to keep it running better.

00:20:35.047 --> 00:20:36.282
<v Speaker 4>That's what I do.

00:20:37.060 --> 00:20:40.089
<v Speaker 4>It's like with my clients, some of them that do a year program.

00:20:40.089 --> 00:20:45.048
<v Speaker 4>They'll do a lot of heavy sort of work in the beginning and then, well, they can just ring me when they want.

00:20:45.048 --> 00:20:49.346
<v Speaker 4>See, you don't really want to talk to your spouse, you don't want to talk to your kids.

00:20:49.346 --> 00:20:50.826
<v Speaker 4>You don't want to talk to your work colleagues.

00:20:50.826 --> 00:21:04.442
<v Speaker 4>You don't want to talk to people that work underneath you, so they work with you or they work for, and it's just something to get what's going on inside your head and get some understanding of it, and then it's done.

00:21:04.442 --> 00:21:10.345
<v Speaker 4>Then I think it's because people don't want to admit, because they want to seem weak.

00:21:10.345 --> 00:21:22.388
<v Speaker 4>It's an egotistical thing when really I've had fighters and I'm not going to mention the names who've worked with me, and all I've said to them is look, I'll do this session for you, but just mention it on your socials.

00:21:22.388 --> 00:21:28.224
<v Speaker 4>And they never do, Because when they win it's all about them and when they lose it's everybody else's fault.

00:21:29.660 --> 00:21:32.869
<v Speaker 2>Now you're on the Big Success podcast.

00:21:32.869 --> 00:21:38.565
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to ask Vinny about scaling up and about doing amazing, not just doing good, when we come back after this break.

00:21:39.259 --> 00:21:44.628
<v Speaker 3>Vinny Shorman is a timeline therapy practitioner, nlp practitioner and fully qualified hypnotherapist.

00:21:44.628 --> 00:21:53.486
<v Speaker 3>Vinny has dedicated his life and career to a practice that was born from the desire to help you feel content, inspired and fulfilled in all areas of your life.

00:21:53.486 --> 00:21:57.468
<v Speaker 3>To hear more about Vinny Shorman, please visit theshormansolutioncom.

00:21:57.839 --> 00:22:05.227
<v Speaker 2>Vinny, I have to ask what's the difference between someone who does good and someone who does great in your mind?

00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:09.588
<v Speaker 4>It's again about what the obstacles you have between your ears.

00:22:09.588 --> 00:22:15.250
<v Speaker 4>It's what you, how you talk to yourself, is almost vitally important.

00:22:15.250 --> 00:22:17.626
<v Speaker 4>How you talk to yourself is no one.

00:22:17.626 --> 00:22:20.788
<v Speaker 4>So, for instance, it's great and amazing.

00:22:20.788 --> 00:22:29.926
<v Speaker 4>So the great person will be keep neck and neck, but the amazing person will be the ones that as the dialogue that encourages themselves from themselves.

00:22:29.926 --> 00:22:37.845
<v Speaker 4>You see, you can pay someone a compliment, but if they say, for instance, oh, I like your hair, and they say, oh, it's a mess, immediately that's negated.

00:22:37.845 --> 00:22:38.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah.

00:22:38.840 --> 00:22:44.588
<v Speaker 4>They said oh, thank you very much, even though you might feel your hair is a mess, but you say thank you, you're still supporting yourself.

00:22:44.920 --> 00:22:48.865
<v Speaker 4>It's the inner support that you get from you gets you where you want to get.

00:22:48.865 --> 00:22:54.287
<v Speaker 4>You can't have someone like you, someone like me, clapping for them 24-7.

00:22:54.287 --> 00:23:02.359
<v Speaker 4>You've got to get on your own side and this is where because at the end of it, it's all down to you I never take credit for anything.

00:23:02.359 --> 00:23:06.542
<v Speaker 4>Most of my clients are on amazing things and I'm very, very happy, but I never go.

00:23:06.542 --> 00:23:07.325
<v Speaker 4>It's down to me.

00:23:07.325 --> 00:23:17.165
<v Speaker 4>Because it isn't down to me, it's down to what the client's done and I'm the biggest cheerleader for them because I suggest something which I know works, and they're willing to go and do it.

00:23:17.165 --> 00:23:19.307
<v Speaker 4>That's the differences that make a difference.

00:23:19.307 --> 00:23:24.742
<v Speaker 4>The ones that are willing to go you know what a better language between their ears talk to themselves.

00:23:24.742 --> 00:23:25.305
<v Speaker 4>In a better way.

00:23:25.305 --> 00:23:27.266
<v Speaker 4>They'll see more obstacles.

00:23:27.266 --> 00:23:32.847
<v Speaker 4>They'll see less obstacles, always around the obstacles, instead of just keeping the self stuck on the first one.

00:23:34.182 --> 00:23:34.362
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

00:23:34.362 --> 00:23:43.050
<v Speaker 2>So what does it take for someone to allow themselves or encourage themselves to go for those massive goals?

00:23:43.050 --> 00:23:47.467
<v Speaker 2>You know the old saying of dreams don't become a reality because people didn't even try.

00:23:47.467 --> 00:23:54.208
<v Speaker 2>How do people get that mindset to even try or even go for great, even go for amazing?

00:23:54.940 --> 00:24:00.826
<v Speaker 4>Well, well, well, I wish is a Disney which is a Disney and go, which is that Disney and goals are real.

00:24:00.826 --> 00:24:02.964
<v Speaker 4>So you've got to work on you.

00:24:02.964 --> 00:24:05.027
<v Speaker 4>I mean, you've got to work on what?

00:24:05.027 --> 00:24:08.765
<v Speaker 4>Because when it, when it going, gets tough, the tough get going, as they say.

00:24:09.539 --> 00:24:16.403
<v Speaker 4>If you've not got that, that gumption, that you know that what's the word Resilience?

00:24:16.403 --> 00:24:19.749
<v Speaker 4>Resilience comes from being all right to yourself.

00:24:19.749 --> 00:24:21.484
<v Speaker 4>Resilience don't come from.

00:24:21.484 --> 00:24:28.509
<v Speaker 4>It's like David Goggins is amazing guy, brilliant for training, but David Goggins would be no good in a relationship way.

00:24:28.509 --> 00:24:29.763
<v Speaker 4>He's, he's mad to you.

00:24:29.763 --> 00:24:32.285
<v Speaker 4>He said to your spouse you just got to get over that shit.

00:24:32.285 --> 00:24:34.207
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but my dad's just died.

00:24:34.207 --> 00:24:35.614
<v Speaker 4>My dad's just died.

00:24:35.614 --> 00:24:36.538
<v Speaker 4>You got to get over that shit.

00:24:36.538 --> 00:24:46.769
<v Speaker 4>You got to keep pushing on, like really Allow me a bit of time, dave, but it's like, don't get me wrong, it's brilliant for training, but you've got to be able to to get things that work in certain areas for you.

00:24:46.769 --> 00:25:03.626
<v Speaker 4>I believe in investing in your health, I believe in investing in fitness, I believe in investing in sleep, in hydration, in all the things that you should be, because if you're not optimal, your mind's not optimal, your body's not optimal, then how are you going to withstand the bombardment of what life will flow at you.

00:25:03.626 --> 00:25:05.304
<v Speaker 4>You know that's the way it works.

00:25:06.166 --> 00:25:07.701
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so when you?

00:25:07.701 --> 00:25:10.250
<v Speaker 2>I want to go back to a thing.

00:25:10.250 --> 00:25:13.268
<v Speaker 2>I watched the first episode of you.

00:25:13.268 --> 00:25:23.343
<v Speaker 2>I'm Joe Rogan, and it's really interesting to watch even someone at his level, that you can take them to another level.

00:25:23.343 --> 00:25:30.859
<v Speaker 2>Talk to me more about how someone who's amazing, you can still get them to that next phase, next phase, next phase.

00:25:30.859 --> 00:25:34.140
<v Speaker 2>Your mindset around that, because I found it fascinating.

00:25:38.380 --> 00:25:40.425
<v Speaker 4>It's because we're constantly learning, aren't we?

00:25:40.425 --> 00:25:45.558
<v Speaker 4>We're constantly trying to get better, or those that want to be successful are trying to get better.

00:25:45.558 --> 00:25:50.826
<v Speaker 4>Excuse me, once you settle for mediocre, you're going to get mediocre.

00:25:50.826 --> 00:25:53.939
<v Speaker 4>You've got to keep thinking what can I do?

00:25:53.939 --> 00:25:55.219
<v Speaker 4>How can I do it?

00:25:55.219 --> 00:25:56.740
<v Speaker 4>Who do I need to help me?

00:25:56.740 --> 00:25:58.681
<v Speaker 4>What do I need to do for myself?

00:25:58.681 --> 00:26:01.002
<v Speaker 4>And it's always levels.

00:26:01.002 --> 00:26:10.503
<v Speaker 4>It's always glass ceilings to break, because if you're inquisitive, you're nosy and you're passionate and you're willing, that's where it works.

00:26:10.503 --> 00:26:22.903
<v Speaker 4>You've got to be willing to accept that you might not be perfect, you might get it wrong, you might fall flat on your face, but it's just like we all fell over when we were walking or we all fell off bikes.

00:26:22.903 --> 00:26:28.582
<v Speaker 4>So that's just how you've got to have that Even that childlike mentality of thinking.

00:26:28.582 --> 00:26:30.560
<v Speaker 4>I know the risk, but I'm going to do it anyway.

00:26:33.375 --> 00:26:35.221
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know the risk, but I'm going to do it anyway.

00:26:35.221 --> 00:26:38.162
<v Speaker 2>So final question around that area there.

00:26:38.162 --> 00:26:50.682
<v Speaker 2>Then If I have the negative mind chatter and I start going, the positive mind chatter, talking to myself, building myself up, how do I keep doing that?

00:26:50.682 --> 00:26:52.181
<v Speaker 2>How do I discipline myself?

00:26:52.181 --> 00:26:53.801
<v Speaker 2>Or how do I make sure I keep going?

00:26:53.801 --> 00:26:57.561
<v Speaker 2>Because, like physical training, it doesn't seem to work in the beginning.

00:26:57.561 --> 00:26:59.381
<v Speaker 2>How do you get people to keep going?

00:27:00.275 --> 00:27:05.799
<v Speaker 4>Because it's so enjoyable when you start to see moments of where you don't ridicule yourself and you don't ridicule others.

00:27:05.799 --> 00:27:08.461
<v Speaker 4>It becomes an inner peace.

00:27:08.461 --> 00:27:09.243
<v Speaker 4>It's calming.

00:27:09.243 --> 00:27:20.897
<v Speaker 4>It's so much better to if you see someone walking down the street and they have, I don't know, odd shoes on and instead of observing it and going insane, expletive like what's wrong with them and they do whatever.

00:27:20.897 --> 00:27:26.020
<v Speaker 4>This A, b and C and snarling in your own mindset you just let people do what they do.

00:27:26.020 --> 00:27:27.618
<v Speaker 4>You spend less time.

00:27:27.618 --> 00:27:30.738
<v Speaker 4>It's like one of the things that keeps people stuck is mind reader.

00:27:30.738 --> 00:27:33.940
<v Speaker 4>They'll think this if I think that, what are they going to think about me?

00:27:33.940 --> 00:27:35.599
<v Speaker 4>Well, I don't care.

00:27:35.599 --> 00:27:41.042
<v Speaker 4>You can't think what other people are thinking anyway, unless you're the world's most powerful hypnotherapist.

00:27:43.214 --> 00:27:47.460
<v Speaker 2>I joke with my kids that it's a pretty big ego to think other people are thinking of you.

00:27:48.143 --> 00:27:48.785
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, exactly.

00:27:48.785 --> 00:27:59.260
<v Speaker 4>I mean, other people have got their own worries and their own trials and tribulations to go through, so why would you have this time spending on thinking what other people think?

00:27:59.260 --> 00:28:00.460
<v Speaker 4>It's an impossibility.

00:28:00.460 --> 00:28:01.920
<v Speaker 4>No one can mind read it, okay.

00:28:01.920 --> 00:28:06.118
<v Speaker 4>Who you see on Netflix and all that sort of business, no one can mind read.

00:28:06.118 --> 00:28:10.941
<v Speaker 4>You've just got to start reading your own book before you start going into other people's libraries.

00:28:12.255 --> 00:28:24.162
<v Speaker 2>I want to touch back on something you mentioned there that I think is important Not being negative with others, to train yourself to be positive with others and then apply that to yourself.

00:28:25.214 --> 00:28:26.179
<v Speaker 4>Tell me more about that.

00:28:26.179 --> 00:28:28.099
<v Speaker 4>It's compassion, isn't it?

00:28:28.099 --> 00:28:32.276
<v Speaker 4>I mean, who am I to ridicule anyone I've got?

00:28:32.276 --> 00:28:39.580
<v Speaker 4>No, you know, I don't fly, I can't walk on water, I'm not healed the sick and raised the dead, so you know I'm not in the holy realms.

00:28:39.580 --> 00:28:41.980
<v Speaker 4>So why would I?

00:28:42.080 --> 00:28:48.519
<v Speaker 4>I'm in no competition, brad, with anyone other than me, and I, like you, can't help people if you think you're above them.

00:28:48.519 --> 00:29:01.516
<v Speaker 4>I think once you start thinking you're above them, you're probably worse off than they are, because you're so clouded and deluded in your own ideas of grandeur that life will end up taking your feet off you Anyway.

00:29:01.516 --> 00:29:06.398
<v Speaker 4>So for me, it's about having an open mind, being compassionate.

00:29:06.398 --> 00:29:10.420
<v Speaker 4>If you're compassionate and you're kind and you've got an open mind, people will tell you more anyway.

00:29:10.420 --> 00:29:20.022
<v Speaker 4>So you've got more to work with then, instead of telling them how they should be and why this is and this and being all balshy.

00:29:20.022 --> 00:29:21.358
<v Speaker 4>Because I've done both.

00:29:21.358 --> 00:29:27.864
<v Speaker 4>I'm more compassionate now than I've ever been, and I've been more forceful, and forceful didn't get me the results that I get now.

00:29:27.864 --> 00:29:29.921
<v Speaker 4>So I try and be kind to people.

00:29:29.921 --> 00:29:30.904
<v Speaker 4>That's the main thing.

00:29:31.758 --> 00:29:32.962
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I love it.

00:29:32.962 --> 00:29:40.221
<v Speaker 2>I think on one thing I heard you say that unless you're kind and compassionate with others, you're not gonna do that to yourself.

00:29:40.994 --> 00:29:51.124
<v Speaker 4>No, you're never gonna do that, because if you think about how you feel when you're being negative to someone, when you're being angry at someone, you do that emotion, you keep that emotion.

00:29:51.124 --> 00:29:52.760
<v Speaker 4>Look, things are gonna make you angry.

00:29:52.760 --> 00:29:53.616
<v Speaker 4>Things are gonna.

00:29:53.616 --> 00:29:54.721
<v Speaker 4>People are gonna get on your nerves.

00:29:54.721 --> 00:29:55.303
<v Speaker 4>Of course they are.

00:29:55.303 --> 00:30:06.501
<v Speaker 4>However, if you have that constant narrative, like I said, you see here before, you see that, and that's what I carry with the world, that's what you project Got it All right, vinny, quick fire round.

00:30:06.654 --> 00:30:11.221
<v Speaker 2>Quick question one or two word answers how do you succeed at relationships?

00:30:14.055 --> 00:30:22.068
<v Speaker 4>Oh, compassion, understanding, communication, perfect.

00:30:22.068 --> 00:30:27.945
<v Speaker 4>How do you succeed at health Grind Got?

00:30:27.965 --> 00:30:28.247
<v Speaker 2>it Grind.

00:30:28.247 --> 00:30:31.561
<v Speaker 2>How do you succeed at self development, growing yourself?

00:30:32.575 --> 00:30:35.124
<v Speaker 4>Again, it comes under the same categories.

00:30:35.124 --> 00:30:38.824
<v Speaker 4>You've got to grind and you've got to be willing to be.

00:30:38.824 --> 00:30:42.801
<v Speaker 4>You've got to be willing to be laid bare, really.

00:30:43.864 --> 00:30:44.506
<v Speaker 2>Got it.

00:30:44.506 --> 00:30:47.182
<v Speaker 2>How do you succeed at goals both setting and achieving?

00:30:48.815 --> 00:30:50.561
<v Speaker 4>First of all, to set the goals.

00:30:50.561 --> 00:30:51.237
<v Speaker 4>You've got to do.

00:30:51.237 --> 00:30:56.301
<v Speaker 4>What makes you feel, what actually makes you tingle, what actually makes you think I want this?

00:30:56.301 --> 00:31:00.304
<v Speaker 4>How you succeed at it is follow that feeling.

00:31:00.304 --> 00:31:06.240
<v Speaker 4>You've got to follow that feeling, regardless of sometimes it'll dwindle, but you've still got to follow that feeling.

00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:08.898
<v Speaker 4>You've still got to follow the passion of wanting to improve yourself.

00:31:09.842 --> 00:31:11.036
<v Speaker 2>Love it Vinny.

00:31:11.036 --> 00:31:17.240
<v Speaker 2>Final question what's the best advice or the best quote you ever read on the subject of success?

00:31:18.755 --> 00:31:21.103
<v Speaker 4>Less than 100% support is sabotage.

00:31:21.103 --> 00:31:33.259
<v Speaker 4>So and meaning, if you're not supporting yourself 100% in all areas of your life, then you're not only sabotaging what you do, you're sabotaging everyone else around you.

00:31:34.323 --> 00:31:34.765
<v Speaker 2>Dang.

00:31:34.765 --> 00:31:40.041
<v Speaker 2>The Vinny Shulman and the Big Success Podcast will be back next week with more of your success.

00:31:40.041 --> 00:31:46.541
<v Speaker 2>Check the show notes, follow Vinny, learn from Vinny, go, do all the stuff you need to do so that you have the success you want.

00:31:46.541 --> 00:31:49.202
<v Speaker 2>And that's the Big Success Podcast for today.

00:31:49.202 --> 00:31:55.723
<v Speaker 2>Hopefully you took a lot of notes and hopefully you learned a bunch and hopefully you're going to take action on it and refer people.

00:31:55.723 --> 00:31:58.862
<v Speaker 2>Remember, if you haven't subscribed, click that subscribe button now.

00:31:58.862 --> 00:32:04.102
<v Speaker 2>Be with us every week on the Big Success Podcast, BS Brad Sugar's Big Success.

00:32:04.102 --> 00:32:05.204
<v Speaker 2>Take action.

00:32:05.204 --> 00:32:06.740
<v Speaker 2>Check the show notes for all the links.

00:32:06.740 --> 00:32:13.285
<v Speaker 2>I'll give you all the links for everything that you speak ahead, Make sure you follow through and keep the learning going.

00:32:13.285 --> 00:32:14.961
<v Speaker 2>Remember you got to grow into your goals.

00:32:14.961 --> 00:32:17.843
<v Speaker 2>I'll speak to you next time on the Big Success Podcast.

00:32:19.157 --> 00:32:24.798
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to the Big Success Podcast with the number one business coach in the world, Brad Sugar's.

00:32:24.798 --> 00:32:34.361
<v Speaker 1>To learn more about how to achieve business and personal success, as well as how to level up more listed in past episodes, visit wwwbradsugarscom.