Why is it so hard to leave when they hurt you? Trauma Bonding, Coercive Control & Abusive Relationships | Solo Episode with Lisa Lacy

Notes from the Edge

Why can leaving someone who hurts you feel almost impossible?

Lisa Lacy, trauma educator and relationship advisor, explores trauma bonding and why intelligence alone cannot protect us from relationships that reshape our attachment, reward, and stress systems.

At 40, while in inpatient rehab, Lisa was told she was trauma bonded to her husband. Her response was, “I’m too smart for that.” It would take three more years to go fully no contact, and another three to work through the anger and resentment left behind. In this solo episode, she explains the biology of intermittent reinforcement, why separation can feel unbearable, and why shame rarely helps someone leave sooner.

In this episode:

  • Trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement
  • Coercive control in abusive relationships
  • Dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol and the stress response
  • Why people leave and return repeatedly
  • No contact and breaking the cycle
  • Moving from survival to self-trust


Connect with Lisa:

www.Lisa Lacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive? 

Welcome to the Edge.








See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

More description

Why can leaving someone who hurts you feel almost impossible?

Lisa Lacy, trauma educator and relationship advisor, explores trauma bonding and why intelligence alone cannot protect us from relationships that reshape our attachment, reward, and stress systems.

At 40, while in inpatient rehab, Lisa was told she was trauma bonded to her husband. Her response was, “I’m too smart for that.” It would take three more years to go fully no contact, and another three to work through the anger and resentment left behind. In this solo episode, she explains the biology of intermittent reinforcement, why separation can feel unbearable, and why shame rarely helps someone leave sooner.

In this episode:

  • Trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement
  • Coercive control in abusive relationships
  • Dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol and the stress response
  • Why people leave and return repeatedly
  • No contact and breaking the cycle
  • Moving from survival to self-trust


Connect with Lisa:

www.Lisa Lacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive? 

Welcome to the Edge.








See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2026-09-10 13 min
Listen elsewhere

Available Results

Generated results are saved to your library for reuse and search.

No generated results are available for this episode yet.

Transcript

No transcript is available for this episode yet.
Sign in to generate a transcript for review.
Sign in

Chapters

No chapters available.