Notes from the Edge

What if the patterns you keep repeating are not who you are, but behaviors you learned long ago and never stopped to question?

Arky Jones, creator of Personality Peek, joins Notes From the Edge to explore how self-awareness can help us recognize the patterns quietly shaping our choices, relationships, work, and identity without turning personality into another label or box. 

This conversation gets practical fast. Lisa and Arky talk about what happens when we realize we have been living according to other people’s expectations, how toxic workplace dynamics can make us feel powerless, and why taking ownership sometimes starts with something as small as documenting your work, protecting your attention, or changing one percent of a pattern instead of trying to reinvent your entire life overnight.

In this episode:

• Personality as a mirror instead of a label
• Self-awareness and recognizing unconscious patterns
• People-pleasing and living without full authorship of your life
• Stoicism and focusing on what you can actually control
• Toxic workplace dynamics and protecting your work
• Boundaries, attention, and deciding what you are willing to give
• Why honesty with yourself matters more than the personality result
• Arky’s “one percent” approach to practical personal growth
• Money, debt, freedom, and intentional decision-making
• How small conscious choices can change the direction of your life

Personality Peek is designed to help people identify strengths, blind spots, and behavioral patterns without treating personality as something fixed or diagnostic. 

Connect with Arky Jones:

https://personalitypeek.com

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

https://LisaLacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

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Dr. Christopher Barker is a clinical psychologist and author whose work explores complex trauma, attachment, and one powerful idea: high functioning and psychological health are not always the same thing.

In this conversation, we dig into what happens when competence, independence, perfectionism, and overachievement become survival adaptations. We talk about why you can intellectually know a relationship is unhealthy and still feel pulled toward it, why “energizing” can sometimes be mistaken for love, and how the nervous system can keep anticipating danger long after the original threat is gone.

In this episode:

• Complex trauma and high achievement

• Attachment injuries in childhood and adulthood

• Perfectionism vs. healthy ambition

• Hypervigilance and waiting for the other shoe to drop

• Why “activated” may be more useful than “triggered”

• Trauma-informed relationships and finding safe support

• Why healing may be better understood as repair

• Rebuilding choice, trust, and freedom through repeated experiences

Maybe the goal isn’t to get rid of every survival strategy that got you here. Maybe it’s simply to stop letting it run the company.

Connect with Dr. Christopher:

https://drchristopherbarker.com

Connect with Lisa: 

https://www.lisalacy.com

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Why can leaving someone who hurts you feel almost impossible?

Lisa Lacy, trauma educator and relationship advisor, explores trauma bonding and why intelligence alone cannot protect us from relationships that reshape our attachment, reward, and stress systems.

At 40, while in inpatient rehab, Lisa was told she was trauma bonded to her husband. Her response was, “I’m too smart for that.” It would take three more years to go fully no contact, and another three to work through the anger and resentment left behind. In this solo episode, she explains the biology of intermittent reinforcement, why separation can feel unbearable, and why shame rarely helps someone leave sooner.

In this episode:

• Trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement
• Coercive control in abusive relationships
• Dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol and the stress response
• Why people leave and return repeatedly
• No contact and breaking the cycle
• Moving from survival to self-trust

Connect with Lisa:

www.Lisa Lacy.com

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What happens when the life that looks successful from the outside is quietly falling apart underneath?

Rose Ann Forte is an international bestselling author and creator of the Choose Freedom® Program, and her work explores how lasting change can happen without building an identity around shame.

In this conversation, Lisa and Rose Ann talk about Rose Ann’s years as a successful executive and church leader while privately struggling with alcohol, toxic relationships, and the pressure to keep everyone else happy. They explore why traditional recovery language did not resonate with her, how neuroscience helped her understand deeply rooted behaviors, and how her Christian faith became part of rebuilding her identity.

In this episode:

• Alcohol use and behavioral habits

• Recovery without shame-based labels

• Faith and the renewing of the mind

• Neuroscience and habit formation

• Toxic relationships and people-pleasing

• Self-condemnation versus lasting change

• Identity after addiction

• Learning to choose freedom

Learn more about Rose Ann Forte:

https://choosefreedom.today

Learn more about Lisa Lacy:

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

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What if suicide prevention is about more than keeping someone alive for the next 72 hours?

In this special September Suicide Prevention Month solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy speaks from lived experience about her first suicide attempt at 15, later attempts, psychiatric hospitalization, and the complicated work of finding reasons to remain when life has become unbearable.

Lisa remembers arriving at the hospital still wearing her cheerleader jacket, being met with shame instead of understanding, and later experiencing psychiatric interventions that contained a crisis without necessarily addressing the pain underneath it. She also explores what decades of survival have taught her about meaning, spirituality, mortality, human connection, and making life small enough to survive one hour, one breath, or one tomorrow at a time.

In this episode:

• Suicide prevention through the lens of lived experience
• Surviving a suicide attempt as a teenager
• Why shame can deepen an already unbearable crisis
• Psychiatric hospitalization and the limits of crisis containment
• Trauma, suicidal thoughts, and emotional pain
• Why asking directly and listening without judgment matters
• Finding meaning when purpose feels impossible
• Spirituality, ancestors, and feeling connected when physically alone
• Surviving one hour instead of trying to solve an entire life
• Why a temporary state of consciousness should not make a permanent decision
• What Lisa wishes the 15-year-old version of herself could have known

This is not a clinical guide to suicide prevention. It is one survivor’s perspective on what helped her continue, what did not, and why sometimes staying alive begins with making the horizon small enough to reach.

If you are in immediate danger or believe you may act on suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 in the United States, contact emergency services, or go to the nearest emergency department.

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

https://LisaLacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

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What if the thing you call your personality is actually something you learned to perform in order to survive?

Ashley Townsend is a transformational and integration coach and complex trauma recovery specialist who spent 15 years working inside the mental health system before deciding that traditional labels and approaches were no longer enough.

In this conversation, Ashley and I go straight into what made her become a self-described “former LCSW gone rogue.” We talk about what she witnessed working across domestic violence, addiction, foster care and trauma treatment, and how being blind shaped her own experience of trying to belong inside systems that often failed to see the whole person. Ashley also challenges the idea that personality is fixed, arguing that some of what we call personality may actually be protection we practiced until it became familiar.

Then the conversation gets even deeper. Ashley shares how she performed being the “nice girl,” performed being sighted as she progressively lost her vision, and eventually performed the role of rescuer, believing she could carry systems and other people on her back. We explore why those protections were once brilliant, why they eventually become heavy, and what happens when we stop building our lives from fear and begin creating from love.

In this episode:

• Complex trauma and the protective patterns underneath behavior
• Why Ashley chose to leave the traditional therapy model
• Disability advocacy and the experience of performing being sighted
• Mental health diagnoses, labels and the limitations of treating personality as fixed
• Why “just do it” can completely miss the context of trauma
• The difference between an explanation and an excuse
• Recovery as an ongoing process rather than a finish line
• Psychedelic preparation and integration, and why Ashley does not view psychedelics as a magic fix
• The “nice girl,” the rescuer and other identities we perform to belong
• Self-trust, play, the inner child and why healing does not always have to hurt
• What becomes possible when we stop fighting everything and start creating from love

Connect with Ashley:

http://www.findingyourphoenixcoaching.com/

Connect with Lisa:

www.lisalacy.com

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What do we reach for when the thing that gave us purpose, identity, adrenaline, and belonging is suddenly gone?

Sean Carberry is an award-winning journalist and former NPR Kabul correspondent whose experience raises a difficult question: what happens when you come home from years of danger, but your mind and body are still wired to look for it?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Sean and Lisa Lacy talk about what happened after Afghanistan, when Sean returned to civilian life carrying undiagnosed PTSD, without the structure, intensity, or sense of purpose that had defined his years overseas. He describes walking into a Maryland casino about six weeks after coming home, initially gambling a few hundred dollars, and how the risk, rewards, recognition, casino perks, and escalating bets gradually began filling something that was missing outside those walls.

The conversation goes far beyond gambling. Sean talks candidly about identity loss, loneliness, relationships, the psychological impact of years spent witnessing human suffering, and eventually recognizing patterns he could not see while he was living inside them. He also discusses how writing became part of processing his experiences and why we need to take much more seriously what happens when veterans, journalists, humanitarian workers, and others who have spent years operating in dangerous environments are expected to simply come home and resume ordinary life.

In this episode:

• PTSD after war and conflict reporting

• Gambling addiction and compulsive gambling

• Adrenaline seeking, risk, and the nervous system

• Identity loss after leaving high-intensity environments

• Returning home and adjusting to civilian life

• Why danger can begin to feel familiar

• Casino rewards, validation, and escalating gambling behavior

• Loneliness, relationships, and destructive coping patterns

• Mental health among journalists and war correspondents

• Supporting veterans, reporters, humanitarian workers, and civilians after high-risk assignments

• Why being functional does not necessarily mean someone is okay

• Writing, memoir, and processing trauma

• Learning to recognize patterns before they become destructive

• Why coming home deserves as much attention as going into danger

Sean’s work and books:

passport-stamps.com

Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:

lisalacy.com

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What if the behavior you’re trying hardest to get rid of was once the very thing that helped you survive?

Carol Look is a psychotherapist and founding EFT Master who has spent decades helping people understand the emotional patterns underneath self-sabotage, and why lasting change often begins with asking what the behavior is protecting us from.

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Carol and Lisa Lacy explore the idea that the problem was once the solution. Addiction, procrastination, people pleasing, overworking, staying invisible, and even creating chaos can serve a purpose when the nervous system believes they are keeping us safe.

Carol explains why we are wired for safety before success, and why someone can consciously want more visibility, healthier relationships, greater success, or a completely different life while unconsciously pulling themselves backward when the next level doesn’t feel safe.

Lisa shares her own experience of appearing highly successful while privately unraveling, using alcohol to avoid painful emotions, and later discovering how uncomfortable peace and stillness could feel after years of chaos. They also talk about functional freeze, grief, hypervigilance, the importance of mentorship, learning to regulate reactivity, and what becomes possible when we stop asking, “What is wrong with me?” and start asking, “Why am I doing this, and what is it protecting me from?”

Carol also shares how growing up in an alcoholic family shaped her tendency to take care of everyone around her, how that survival skill eventually became an asset in her work, and why learning to extend that same care toward herself changed everything.

In this episode:

• Why self-sabotage may actually be a protective response
• Nervous system regulation and why safety comes before success
• Fear of success, visibility, and “up-leveling”
• Why procrastination can have an emotional payoff
• Addiction as a way of anesthetizing difficult emotions
• EFT tapping and Emotional Freedom Techniques
• Trauma responses, hypervigilance, and emotional patterns
• Why peace and stillness can initially feel uncomfortable
• Functional freeze and appearing capable while internally checked out
• Grief, emotional avoidance, and learning to feel again
• People pleasing and taking care of others as survival strategies
• Why changing your own reactivity can change your relationships
• Gratitude, emotional well-being, and Carol’s Yes work
• The value of mentorship and support in personal growth
• Why healing doesn’t mean life stops being difficult
• The power of stillness, space, and finally hearing yourself

Learn more about Carol Look and her work:

www.carollook.com

Learn more about Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:

www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

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How much longer are you willing to wait for someone else to validate what you already know happened?

Lisa Lacy is a trauma educator and relationship advisor exploring one powerful idea: sometimes closure is not something another person gives you, it is something you create by trusting your own experience.

In this short solo episode, Lisa shares what she learned from waiting for accountability, explanations, and validation that never came, and why healing began when she stopped requiring someone else’s version of the story to confirm her own.

In this episode:

• Closure after betrayal
• Rebuilding self-trust
• Letting go of the need for an apology
• Boundaries without agreement
• Why unanswered questions keep us attached
• Moving forward without validation

Connect with Lisa:

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive? 

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What happens when everyone needs you to be okay, but you’re barely surviving yourself?

Hollywood screenwriter and producer Lee Ehlers spent years learning how to survive rejection, but nothing prepared him for the loss of his wife, Erin, or for discovering that sometimes the strongest thing you can do is stop pretending you’re okay.

Lee’s professional breakthrough and personal devastation collided when his feature film EXES was finally being made as his high school sweetheart and wife of twenty years was dying from breast cancer. Suddenly widowed with children who were just 10, 7, and 5, Lee found himself trying to grieve while becoming the person they still needed every day. We talk about the private cost of performing the “strong dad,” the period when alcohol became the only way he could sleep through overwhelming grief, and the moment he

finally admitted, “I’m not okay. I’m struggling.”

In this episode:

• Grief after the death of a spouse
• Widowed fatherhood and raising children through loss
• Performing strength when you’re falling apart
• Depression, isolation, and asking for help
• Self-medication and coping with acute grief
• Why grief doesn’t follow a predictable process
• Supporting someone who is grieving without prescribing how they should heal
• The strange collision of happy memories and devastating loss
• Starting over after losing the person you built your life with
• Identity after loss
• Persistence through rejection and uncertainty
• Nearly two decades of pursuing a Hollywood career
• Screenwriting, creativity, and finding your own writing process
• What repeated rejection can teach us about survival
• The making of EXES
• Why saying “I’m not okay” can be the beginning of getting help

Watch Lee Ehlers’ film EXES on Amazon:

EXES on Amazon

⁠

Lisa Lacy | Notes From the Edge:

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

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What if real masculine strength has less to do with pushing harder and more to do with learning how to regulate yourself, feel deeply, and stay present under pressure?

Michael Ostrolenk, licensed marriage and family therapist and master coach, joins Lisa Lacy to explore one central idea: mature masculinity is not domination, suppression, or performance. It is self-governance.

Michael introduces his concept of “Negative 20X,” challenging high performers to consider whether slowing down may require more courage than pushing harder. Lisa and Michael also unpack his Sovereign Gentleman framework, including how unconscious conditioning shapes identity, why men need spaces to experience and express emotion, and what disciplined presence actually looks like inside a relationship.

In this episode:

• Healthy masculinity and masculine maturity
• Nervous system regulation under pressure
• The Sovereign Gentleman and psychological sovereignty
• Male loneliness, mentorship, friendship, and the need for tribe
• Why high performers struggle with rest and recovery
• “Negative 20X” and the drive to constantly prove yourself
• Emotional intelligence, anger, sadness, shame, and healthy expression
• Masculinity versus domination
• Disciplined presence during relationship conflict
• How childhood and cultural conditioning shape adult identity
• Martial arts, self-defense, capability, and personal responsibility 
• Why kindness can be an expression of strength

Connect with Michael Ostrolenk:

Website: www.michaeldostrolenk.com

Substack: Michael D. Ostrolenk / @michaeldostrolenk

LinkedIn: Michael Ostrolenk, MA, MFT

YouTube: @michaeldostrolenk

Podcast: Resilience Redefined with Michael D. Ostrolenk

Team Fudoshin: teamfudoshin.com

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

What did you perform in order to survive? 

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What happens when you stop the addiction, but the pain underneath it is still running your life?

Dr. Dean Sunseri, licensed professional counselor, and HollyKem Sunseri, certified life coach with more than four decades in recovery, explore the work they call emotional sobriety: healing the emotional wounds and protective patterns that can remain long after the substance or destructive behavior is gone.

In this conversation, we go beyond abstinence and into what Dean and HollyKem call Stage Two recovery. We talk about why unresolved pain can “seep out” through substitute addictions, anger, isolation, control, relationship conflict, or other coping behaviors, and why simply stopping a behavior doesn’t necessarily heal what created it. They walk us through their framework of the Protector, Wounded Child, and True Self, including how learning to recognize which part of us is speaking can restore choice instead of leaving us controlled by old survival responses. We also explore relationships, why one person changing can change the entire “dance,” and why reconnecting may need to happen before a couple can actually solve the problem they’re fighting about.

In this episode:

• Emotional sobriety and Stage Two addiction recovery
• Why abstinence may be only the beginning of healing
• Substance addiction, behavioral addiction, and substitute addictions
• The emotional pain underneath compulsive and self-destructive behavior
• The Protector, Wounded Child, and True Self
• Trauma, triggers, and protective survival responses
• Why healing doesn’t mean never being triggered again
• Learning to love the parts of yourself you once tried to escape
• Self-compassion versus shame in addiction recovery
• Moving from survival mode into choice, purpose, and emotional freedom
• Relationships, resentment, defensiveness, and emotional disconnection
• Why one partner’s growth can change the relationship dynamic
• Reconnecting before trying to resolve conflict
• Boundaries, responsibility, forgiveness, and healthy communication
• Finding purpose after addiction and survival

Dr. Dean & HollyKem Sunseri:

1. Take the free Emotional Sobriety Assessment: https://dean-jsegmrly.scoreapp.com

2. Get the Book A Roadmap to the Soul Today! https://amzn.to/478rNG8

3. Learn more about Dean & HollyKem Sunseri: https://www.ihaveavoice.com

4. Watch Free Videos on Emotional Sobriety: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsbxvHYHG8El81rdV6eQ7gM7S55jXPm49&si=FOa14n7V-5OLJOQJ

Lisa Lacy | Notes From the Edge:

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

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Who told you that you were too sensitive, too difficult, selfish, dramatic, unstable, or simply too much? And when did someone else’s opinion become part of your identity?

In this solo episode of Notes From the Edge, trauma educator Lisa Lacy explores how labels, family roles, survival adaptations, and other people’s perceptions can quietly become the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, and what can happen when we finally question who handed us those stories in the first place.

Lisa examines the difference between personality and adaptation, why competence can become armor, and how a label can stop an investigation before it ever begins. She also shares how this question has surfaced while writing Notes From a Certified Madwoman, now autofiction, and why sometimes finding yourself is less about becoming someone new and more about subtracting everybody else.

In this episode:

• How childhood and relationship labels can become identity
• “Too sensitive,” “difficult,” “selfish,” and the power of labeling
• Competence as strength versus competence as survival armor
• Why boundaries can feel threatening to people who benefited from your compliance
• Family roles, scapegoating, and resistance when one person changes
• The difference between accountability and self-erasure
• Survival adaptations that become adult personality traits
• Why proving a label wrong can still allow it to control your life
• What happens when you enter an environment where you are no longer “too much”
• The question that can interrupt an old identity: Who told you that?

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

https://lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

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What happens when men are taught that vulnerability is weakness, but connection is exactly what they need most?

Jason Lange is a men’s embodiment coach and group facilitator who believes men don’t need to become tougher. They need the language, relationships, and spaces that allow them to become more fully human.

In this conversation, Jason shares how growing up without emotional or physical connection left him unable to understand what was happening inside his own body, eventually leading to shame, isolation, and unhealthy ways of coping. He takes us inside the somatic breakthrough that changed everything and explains why men’s groups became one of the most powerful forces in his own healing, relationships, and life.

In this episode:

• Men’s mental health and the male loneliness epidemic
• Healthy masculinity and breaking out of the “man box”
• Why vulnerability can feel dangerous for men
• Emotional neglect, shame, and disconnection
• Somatic therapy and nervous system healing
• Men’s groups, brotherhood, and co-regulation
• Porn, alcohol, overworking, and other forms of emotional numbing
• Building emotional intimacy in relationships
• Learning to identify wants, needs, feelings, and boundaries
• Moving beyond the isolated “lone wolf” model of masculinity
• Authenticity instead of performing that everything is fine

Connect with Jason Lange:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasonmlange/

Evolutionary Men: https://evolutionary.men

Evolutionary Edge Quiz: https://evolutionary.men/quiz

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

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What happens when you spend decades believing you’re lazy, too much, unreliable or simply doing life wrong, only to discover your brain has been working differently all along?

Ellie AuDHD Capstick is an AuDHD educator and podcast host whose late diagnosis gave her something she had spent a lifetime searching for: language for experiences she once understood as personal failures.

In this conversation, Ellie gets candid about the collision of ADHD and autism, years of masking and pushing herself into burnout, and why she doesn’t automatically call neurodivergence a “superpower.” She also shares what she wishes she had understood while raising her older neurodivergent children and how diagnosis helped her move from shame toward self-advocacy.

In this episode:

• AuDHD and living with both ADHD and autism
• Late diagnosis, identity and self-understanding
• Neurodivergent masking and autistic/ADHD burnout
• Executive dysfunction versus “laziness”
• Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)
• Trauma, vulnerability and neurodivergence
• Parenting neurodivergent children with confidence
• Self-advocacy, relationships and dropping the mask

Connect with Ellie AuDHD Capstick

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1Ls1EfoRam/?mibextid=wwXIfr

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellie-audhd-capstick-b8a971415

Connect with Lisa Lacy

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

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What if the secret to a healthier, happier, more sustainable life is hiding in a bin of worms, a jar of sprouts and one really good belly laugh?

Cathy Nesbitt is an award-winning entrepreneur and laughter yoga teacher who has spent more than two decades showing people how worms, sprouts, and laughter can create a healthier, more sustainable life.

In this episode, Cathy and Lisa go from the surprising story behind Cathy’s “worm empire” to why she believes laughter is an essential tool for navigating stress. They talk about turning food waste into “black gold,” growing your own nutrition through sprouts, learning to move toward the weirdness, and what happened when Cathy stopped being a lifelong people pleaser and started giving herself permission to say no.

In this episode:

• Vermicomposting and turning household waste into healthy soil
• Why Cathy believes worms matter for sustainability and food security
• Growing fresh sprouts at home
• Laughter yoga and nervous-system regulation
• Why adults need more play and laughter
• Stress, isolation, and protecting your mental health
• Recovering from people pleasing
• Saying no without overexplaining or apologizing
• Why shame loses power when we stop keeping it silent
• Choosing simple tools for a healthier, more sustainable life

Cathy Nesbitt: www.kathysclub.com

Lisa Lacy: www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

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What if moving forward doesn’t require you to “get over” what happened?

Stephanie Renner is an attorney, keynote speaker, and creator of the Regret to Resilience Method™, a framework for moving through unresolved guilt and regret without erasing the people, experiences, or losses that shaped us.

After the death of her son Jordan by suicide, Stephanie’s understanding of regret became deeply personal. In this conversation, we talk about the brutal “if onlys” that can follow loss, the illusion of control, and why building a meaningful life after grief doesn’t mean leaving someone behind. We also explore how regret reaches far beyond bereavement, showing up in relationships, careers, caregiving, and the decisions we replay long after they’re over.

In this episode:

• Grief, regret, and the “if only” cycle
• Suicide loss and unanswered questions
• Responsibility vs. hindsight
• Moving forward without “moving on”
• Self-forgiveness and self-compassion
• The illusion of control
• Finding purpose after profound loss
• Turning regret into resilience

Learn more about Stephanie Renner:

https://www.stephanierennerspeaks.com/

Find Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:

https://www.lisalacy.com/

What did you perform in order to survive?

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What happens when menopause doesn’t create the crisis, but exposes everything your mind and body have spent decades carrying?

Lisa Lacy, writer and host of Notes From the Edge, explores how surgical menopause collided with a lifetime of trauma, recovery, psychiatric diagnoses, chronic illness and survival.

After having her ovaries unexpectedly removed at 45, Lisa experienced rage, panic, depression, insomnia, brain fog and an unsettling loss of identity. In this solo episode, she examines what happens when hormonal change collides with years of stored stress, hypervigilance and survival patterns, and why women deserve more than being told they’re “just hormonal.”

In this episode:

• Surgical menopause and mental health
• Trauma activation and survival patterns
• Rage, anxiety, depression and identity loss
• Medical dismissal in midlife women
• High-functioning survival and performance
• Why menopause can expose what was already there

Learn more: www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

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What happens to the spouse when the person with the addiction gets all the attention?

In this deeply personal conversation, Lisa Lacy sits down with author, speaker and advocate Roxanna Johnson to talk about the side of sexual addiction that is too often forgotten: betrayal trauma and what it does to the partner left trying to make sense of a life that suddenly feels unrecognizable.

After nearly 24 years of marriage, Roxanna discovered that her husband had been living with a hidden pattern of sexual addiction. She calls the disclosure “the bomb” because it didn’t simply reveal a secret. It blew apart her understanding of her marriage, her safety and, for a time, herself.

Lisa and Roxanna dig into what betrayal trauma can actually look like: hypervigilance, panic, anger, grief, shame, questioning your own reality and becoming so focused on another person’s behavior that you lose touch with your own wants, needs and identity.

They also explore one of the most important distinctions in recovery: boundaries are not control. Roxanna shares how she learned to stop twisting herself into what she calls “a pretzel” to keep the peace and instead use boundaries to create emotional safety for herself, regardless of whether her partner chose recovery.

The conversation goes into codependency and counterdependence, lovingly detaching, rebuilding self-trust, finding competent betrayal-trauma support, creating a recovery community, spiritual reawakening and grieving the marriage, family or future you thought you had.

And perhaps most importantly, they talk about the spouse’s right to heal independently of the outcome of the relationship.

Roxanna’s work and book, Forgotten in the Battle with Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse, give language and support to partners and families who have too often been treated as collateral damage in someone else’s recovery.

Connect with Roxanna Johnson:

https://ForgottenSpouse.com

Connect with Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:

https://www.lisalacy.com/podcast

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when achievement becomes a substitute for being seen?

Writer, memoirist, and speaker Daniel Sterling joins Lisa Lacy for a candid conversation about men’s mental health, male loneliness, emotional vulnerability, masculinity, identity, and what it takes to raise emotionally whole boys.

Daniel traces his own journey from an eight-year-old alpine ski racer who discovered the powerful rush of recognition to becoming one of the top ski racers in the country, then pursuing success through television, broadcasting, screenwriting, and filmmaking. But underneath the ambition was something much more human: the need to be seen, valued, and loved.

After emotionally cratering in midlife, Daniel began questioning the identity he had built around achievement. A mentor introduced him to self-study, accountability, and a different way of living, beginning what he describes as the much longer journey from his head to his heart.

Lisa and Daniel dig into why so many men learn to armor up instead of open up, how childhood messages like “toughen up” and “man up” can follow boys into adulthood, and why our current crisis of male isolation may have roots much earlier than we think.

They also explore what parents can do differently: knowing the child in front of them, celebrating effort instead of achievement, allowing boys to fail and recover, giving them a voice, and creating enough emotional safety for vulnerability without removing the structure they need to grow.

And perhaps most importantly, they talk about personal accountability: learning to recognize what belongs to you, apologize without defending yourself, change the behavior that caused harm, and discover who you are when you no longer need the performance.

Daniel is currently seeking representation for his completed memoir, Hungry, and shares excerpts from his writing through his Substack.

Connect with Daniel Sterling:

https://daniel-sterling.com

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

https://lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why does someone stay in a relationship they know is hurting them? And why can leaving feel almost physically unbearable, even when you know you need to go?

In this special solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy shares her own experience of spending 13 years in a marriage marked by addiction, betrayal, coercive control, gaslighting and trauma bonding.

At the time, Lisa was also carrying diagnoses of borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, complex PTSD, chronic alcoholism and codependency while managing a congenital blood disease. Over time, the chaos became so disorienting that she stopped trusting her own perception and began gaslighting herself.

She left repeatedly.

And repeatedly went back.

Because every time she tried to leave, it felt like she was dying.

It ultimately took three years to complete the divorce and another three years before she was able to fully go no contact.

This conversation explores what coercive control actually looks like when it happens slowly, how trauma bonds are reinforced through cycles of fear, pain, relief and reconciliation, why mental-health diagnoses can make someone even more vulnerable to doubting their own reality, and why asking survivors, “Why didn’t you just leave?” profoundly misunderstands what may be happening psychologically and physiologically.

Lisa also talks about the long road back to self-trust, the difference between understanding someone and giving them permission to harm you, and the moment when you stop making decisions based on someone’s potential and finally start looking at their patterns.

Because sometimes leaving is not one brave decision.

Sometimes it is a process of choosing yourself over and over again until your nervous system finally learns that freedom is safe.

Learn more about Lisa and Notes From the Edge at www.LisaLacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive? 

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if psychiatry looked beyond symptoms and asked a different question: What else could be happening here?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Dr. Naveen Thomas, board-certified psychiatrist and founder of Clarity Integrative Psychiatry, for a wide-ranging conversation about what mental healthcare can look like when we stop treating the diagnosis as the whole person.

Dr. Thomas shares why his approach to psychiatry evolved beyond the familiar cycle of symptoms, diagnosis, medication, adjustment, and another medication. Instead, he explores the biological, psychological, nutritional, physical, and environmental factors that may be contributing to how someone feels.

The conversation examines how issues such as thyroid dysfunction, vitamin D deficiency and low B12 can sometimes complicate or resemble symptoms associated with depression, and why curiosity matters before labeling someone or a condition as “treatment resistant.”

Lisa and Dr. Thomas also explore:

• Integrative psychiatry and whole-person mental healthcare

• Root-cause thinking in mental health treatment

• Depression and treatment-resistant depression

• Vitamin D, B12, thyroid health and brain function

• The role of medication within a broader treatment approach

• Patient autonomy and self-advocacy

• Why the doctor-patient relationship should be a partnership

• Trauma, choice and the importance of restoring agency

• The limitations created by rushed healthcare systems

• What happens when healthcare becomes a commodity rather than a human relationship

• Why relieving suffering may only be the beginning of what mental healthcare can accomplish

Dr. Thomas challenges the idea that the goal of psychiatry should simply be helping someone function well enough to tolerate life. What if the bar were higher? What if mental healthcare helped people move beyond suffering toward connection, meaning, contribution and a fuller experience of being human?

Learn more about Dr. Naveen Thomas and Clarity Integrative Psychiatry:

www.claritypsychiatry.com

Learn more about Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:

www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive? Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you realize the life you worked so hard to hold together no longer feels like your own?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Jodi Koch, CEO of Elizabeth Erin Designs and host of Designing in 5D, for a conversation that begins with interior design and quickly becomes something much bigger: divorce recovery, people-pleasing, perfectionism, childhood conditioning, hypervigilance, intuition, reinvention, and learning to trust yourself again.

Jodi shares how growing up as the child who took care of everyone shaped her into an adult who carried everything for everybody. She talks candidly about the exhaustion of a long marriage in which she often felt emotionally alone, the difficult decision to finally leave, and the realization that she had spent years listening to everyone except herself.

We explore the connection between childhood survival patterns and adult relationships, why people-pleasing can become a form of self-abandonment, and what happens when you finally stop pouring your energy into keeping everything and everyone else afloat.

Jodi also takes us inside the experiences that helped change her direction, including creating her own personal retreat, exploring plant medicine and spirituality, traveling alone, navigating divorce, rebuilding her business after a devastating disruption, and asking herself a deceptively simple question:

What does Jodi actually want now?

That question became her North Star.

And it turns out that the philosophy behind great interior design isn’t so different from creating a meaningful life. Before choosing what looks beautiful, you have to understand who is actually going to live there. You need clarity. Intention. Function. A direction that belongs to you.

Jodi shares her Designing in 5D philosophy, her intuitive approach to interior design, the importance of creating homes around the actual human beings living inside them, and how she’s using AI as a tool without removing the creativity, expertise, storytelling, and human connection that make design personal.

We also talk about decision fatigue, rebuilding after divorce, releasing perfectionism, trusting your intuition, creating safe spaces, finding your true North, and the extraordinary freedom that can come from finally saying:

This is what I want.

Website:
https://elizabetherindesigns.com

Designing in 5D on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/6SH9NbnLfhCmEyZsJ0r0f8

Designing in 5D on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/designing-in-5d/id1778045559

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/elizabetherindesigns/

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethErinDesigns/

TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@elizabetherindesigns

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@ElizabethErinDesigns5D

Pinterest:
https://www.pinterest.com/elizabetherindesigns/

LinkedIn | Jodi Koch:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodipeterman

LinkedIn | Elizabeth Erin Designs:
https://www.linkedin.com/company/elizabeth-erin-designs

Linktree:
https://linktr.ee/elizabetherindesigns

https://lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?
Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if stress isn’t simply something to eliminate, but something trying to show us where healing needs to happen?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with mental health counselor, meditation teacher, spiritual guide, author, and podcast host Dean Graves for a wide-ranging conversation about consciousness, trauma healing, identity, mindfulness, addiction recovery, spiritual awakening, emotional healing, and the search for meaning.

Dean explores the idea that much of what we call our “identity” is something we construct over a lifetime, shaped by experiences, thoughts, expectations, and our attempts to get more of what feels good while avoiding what hurts. But what happens when the identity that once helped us function begins to exhaust us?

Together, Lisa and Dean explore the difference between outward success and inner fulfillment, why awakening often begins when the old way of living stops working, and what can happen when we turn our attention inward instead of constantly measuring ourselves through the reactions of others.

They also dig into stress as a teacher, conscious choice, meditation, self-awareness, trauma recovery, the 12-step process, addiction and dual diagnosis, personal responsibility, happiness as a measure of healing, and the gradual process of letting go of the masks and performances that separate us from a more authentic sense of self.

At the center of the conversation is one deceptively simple question:

Who are you when you stop trying to convince the world who you are?

Learn more about Dean Graves, his books, podcasts, and work at:
https://ddeangraves.org

Explore Lisa Lacy, Notes From the Edge, her writing, books, and work at:
https://lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive? 

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Women have it harder.

There, I said it.

And no, this is not a man-hating manifesto. I love men. In fact, parts of my romantic history would suggest I may have loved them a little too enthusiastically. This conversation is not about blaming men. It is about refusing to lie about what women experience in order to make anyone more comfortable.

In this solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy explores the cumulative cost of moving through the world as a woman: the expectation of self-sacrifice in motherhood and family life, the invisible labor women carry, the gender pay gap, sexual violence, impossible beauty and behavior standards, and the conditioning that teaches women to prioritize everyone else’s needs before their own.

Lisa also digs into the medical dismissal women experience, particularly during perimenopause and menopause, when profound physical, emotional and cognitive changes are still too often minimized, misunderstood or written off as anxiety.

This is also a conversation about the ways women participate in their own conditioning. The pressure to be the good mother, the easy wife, the competent employee, the caretaker, the attractive woman, the strong woman and the woman who somehow needs absolutely nothing.

Because sometimes the performance that earns women the most praise is the very performance that causes them to disappear.

Men suffer too. Men carry their own painful expectations around strength, provision, emotion and masculinity. We do not have to deny that truth in order to acknowledge another one:

Good men don’t need women to lie about women’s experiences in order to protect men’s feelings. And good women don’t need to demonize men in order to tell the truth about being female.

Maybe the goal isn’t for women to become even stronger.

Maybe it is finally asking why strength, sacrifice and resilience have been demanded of us for so long.

lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The drug landscape facing teenagers is changing faster than many parents realize.

In this second conversation with author, educator, private investigator, and ASAP Community founder Dave Kopeny, we go straight into what parents need to know about adolescent substance use, prevention, and the increasingly easy access young people have to potentially addictive substances.

Dave discusses Kratom, products being sold in convenience stores and gas stations, changing marijuana potency, social media exposure, peer influence, family patterns, and why waiting until a child is already struggling with addiction may be waiting too long.

But this conversation is not about frightening parents. It is about giving them something far more useful: agency.

Dave believes parents remain one of the strongest protective influences in a child’s life. We talk about educating kids before experimentation begins, creating guardrails, monitoring without shame, having difficult conversations early, recognizing behavioral changes, and understanding the “why” underneath substance use rather than focusing only on stopping the behavior.

We also explore something families often miss in recovery: you cannot send one person away to heal and return them to the exact same environment expecting everything to be different.

Addiction affects the entire family system. Sustainable recovery may require parents, siblings, and caregivers to examine their own patterns, seek support, and heal alongside the person struggling.

Dave also shares practical strategies from his book, Tip of the Spear: How to Educate, Supervise and Monitor Your Child in a World of Increasing Drug Abuse and Addiction, including how parents can recognize risk, communicate with schools, understand treatment options, establish boundaries, and become proactive before a crisis happens.

Your child may tell you they do not want the guardrails.

They still need to know someone has their back.

Connect with Dave Kopeny and ASAP Community:
https://asapcommunity.org

Connect with Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:
https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive? 

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if designing a kitchen and designing a life have more in common than we think?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with kitchen designer and longtime construction professional Marvin Towler for a conversation that begins with kitchen remodeling, budgets, and beautiful spaces, then takes the kind of unexpected rabbit holes we love around here.

Marvin shares why a dream isn’t enough when you’re renovating a home. You need a plan. From kitchen layouts and cabinetry to flooring, appliances, construction costs, and the unexpected expenses that can derail a remodel, Marvin explains how thoughtful kitchen design can protect your budget while still creating a space that feels deeply personal.

But this conversation becomes about much more than kitchens.

Marvin believes the kitchen is the heart of the home because it is one of the places where we say, “I love you.” That opens a deeply personal conversation about fathers, work ethic, mentorship, regret, family, and what happens when we realize there were things we never said while we still had the chance.

Marvin talks about losing his father at eighteen, learning the construction trade, choosing practicality over art, surviving the economic cycles of architecture and construction, reinventing himself professionally, and discovering that luxury isn’t necessarily about how much money you spend. Sometimes luxury is simply creating something that feels unmistakably yours.

Lisa and Marvin also explore parenthood and the difficult conversations we sometimes owe our children, including admitting where we got it wrong.

And near the Edge, Marvin answers the question at the center of this show: What did you perform in order to survive?

His answer opens a conversation about the masks we learn to wear, the roles we perform, and what it takes to begin letting ourselves be fully seen.

This is a conversation about kitchen design and remodeling, but it’s also about building something much harder than a beautiful home: a life where we make room for what matters, tell people we love them while they’re still here, admit our mistakes, and allow ourselves to finally be seen.

Marvin Towler: https://perfectkitchentv.com

Lisa Lacy | Notes From the Edge: https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the story that will not leave you alone is not merely asking to be written, but asking to become a message that changes lives?In this live episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with her publisher, award-winning author, publishing strategist, and Light Warrior Publishing founder Missy Maxwell Worton for an honest conversation about writing through fear, publishing with purpose, and turning lived experience into lasting impact.

Missy has helped hundreds of purpose-driven authors move from an idea to a completed manuscript, publication, launch, platform growth, and bestseller status. Her own author journey began with the deeply personal book Don’t Mess With This Mama: Risking It All to Rescue Our Daughter, which became a number-one Amazon bestseller and received multiple literary honors.

Missy also published Lisa’s Reclaiming Your Savage Sovereignty, which remained a number-one New Release in its category for two months. They are now preparing to release Lisa’s most personal work yet, Notes From a Certified Madwoman.

Together, Lisa and Missy will explore:

• How to know whether you have a book idea or a message you are responsible for sharing

• Why talented writers remain trapped in perfectionism and fear

• What authors misunderstand about publishing, visibility, and book launches

• How to protect your authentic voice during editing

• The difference between publishing a book and building a movement

• How to tell painful stories without exploiting your own wounds

• What makes a publisher believe in an author before the audience or numbers existThis conversation is for aspiring authors, speakers, entrepreneurs, and anyone carrying a story that refuses to remain silent.

Where to Find Missy:

https://www.missymaxwellworton.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/missy-maxwell-worton-898261371/

How to Find Lisa:

https://www.lisalacy.com/

What did you perform in order to survive?

And what might it do for your life to finally put that role, mask, or performance down?

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This conversation includes candid discussion of suicide, suicidal ideation, attempts, grief, and the emotional realities carried by survivors and the people who love them.

What happens when someone finally tells the whole truth and discovers that the person listening does not panic, turn away, or try to make the story more comfortable?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Sean Wellington, founder and host of the Suicide Noted podcast, for a candid conversation about suicide, survival, silence, and what it means to truly listen.

Since launching Suicide Noted in 2020, Sean has facilitated more than 400 long-form conversations with suicide attempt survivors and people who have experienced suicidal ideation across 47 U.S. states and 27 countries. His mission is to help us become better at talking about the hardest parts of being human so that fewer people are forced to carry them alone.

Together, Lisa and Sean explore:

• What suicide attempt survivors wish more people understood
• The difference between listening and trying to rescue
• Why people often remain silent until they reach a crisis
• What pauses, contradictions, and unfinished sentences reveal
• The responsibility involved in holding another person’s story
• How families, clinicians, leaders, and friends can become safer people to tell the truth to

This is a conversation about radical listening, difficult truths, and the profound relief of being heard without being reduced to a diagnosis, a crisis, or the worst moment of your life.

How to Find Sean:

Home | Suicide Noted - Raw Talks with Attempt Survivorswww.seangwellington.com

The Missing Record

How to Find Lisa:

www.lisalacy.com

Notes From the Edge explores trauma, identity, recovery, leadership, reinvention, and the conversations we should have been having all along.

And as always, we end with the question:

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when success arrives before you have had the chance to understand who you are?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with transformational mentor, trauma-informed coach, motivational speaker, former child performer, and Licensed Vocational Nurse Hilary Momberger Powers.

Hilary began working in front of the camera at five years old as the voice of Sally Brown in the Peanuts cartoons. Behind the early success, however, were unresolved childhood wounds that later contributed to addiction, painful choices, and a life that began to unravel.

After entering recovery in 1983, Hilary discovered that putting down the addiction was only the beginning. The deeper work meant confronting the trauma, identity patterns, and emotional wounds that had been leading her life.

Together, Lisa and Hilary explore childhood fame, addiction, inner-child work, recovery, self-advocacy, reinvention, and what it means to stop allowing old pain to make present-day decisions.

This is a conversation about moving from victim to victor, reclaiming your voice, and proving that it is never too late to begin again.

How to Find Hilary:

Hilary Momberger Powers | LinkedIn

HILARY POWERS

How to find Lisa:

Lisa Lacy

Lisa Lacy | LinkedInWhat did you perform in order to survive?Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when empathy feels less like a gift and more like carrying everyone else’s emotions inside your own body?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with former client, author, entrepreneur, and radio host Saylor Cooper for an honest conversation about blindness, disability, emotional intelligence, nervous-system awareness, boundaries, and learning how to become the container instead of the sponge.

Saylor shares how understanding his emotional depth helped him become calmer, more grounded, and more connected to who he has always been at his core. We also explore how he moved beyond other people’s expectations to create Real Variety Radio and Hope Without Sight, platforms built around resilience, storytelling, music, and meaningful human connection.

This conversation is about feeling deeply without disappearing inside what you feel, transforming adversity without allowing it to become your entire identity, and recognizing that emotional sensitivity can become a powerful form of leadership when it is supported by self-awareness and boundaries.

Hosted by Lisa Lacy

Featuring Saylor Cooper:

Saylor Cooper | LinkedIn

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/blissful-connections/id1789566162
What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When doing everything “right” in recovery leaves you smaller, sicker, and further away from yourself.For two years, I did exactly what I was told.

Six days a week. Sometimes two meetings a day. Inpatient rehabilitation. Outpatient rehabilitation. Sponsors. Step work. Inventories. Confessions. Amends.

I stayed sober.

But I was not becoming healthier.

I was becoming smaller.

In this deeply personal episode of Notes From the Edge, I explore what happens when a recovery model fails to recognize the person sitting in front of it, especially when that person is also carrying childhood trauma, sexual assault, domestic violence, psychiatric diagnoses, shame, and a profoundly dysregulated nervous system.

This is not an attack on AA.

If AA saved your life, I celebrate that. Truly. Keep going.

This is a grief story about realizing that the map I had been given was never designed for the terrain I was walking.

We will talk about:

• The difference between staying sober and actually healing
• When “sharing” becomes uncontained trauma dumping
• Why powerlessness, defect language, and submission may affect traumatized women differently
• The importance of nervous system regulation, boundaries, safety, and co-regulation
• Modern trauma approaches such as EMDR, Internal Family Systems, and somatic therapy
• The evolving science of addiction and neuroplasticity
• Alternatives including SMART Recovery, Women for Sobriety, LifeRing, medication-assisted treatment, recovery coaching, therapy, purpose, community, and connection
• Why informed choice should be part of every recovery conversation

My nervous system did not need another moral inventory.

It needed safety.

Recovery should not require abandoning your intuition or becoming less yourself. It should help you become more yourself.

And if one approach is not helping you heal, that does not automatically mean you are broken.

Maybe you simply need a different map.

This episode reflects personal experience and is intended for education and conversation. It is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental health care.

Learn more about Lisa Lacy and her work at www.lisalacy.com

And before we leave, I want to ask you the question I ask every guest:

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Beth Granger on visibility, digital trust, critical conversations, and staying human in an increasingly automated world

Technology can help us reach thousands of people, write polished messages, and build impressive networks.

But it cannot create trust for us.

Beth Granger is a speaker, consultant, trainer, emcee, and LinkedIn and networking strategist who helps professionals communicate more confidently, navigate critical conversations, and turn online connections into meaningful relationships.

Her message is simple and increasingly urgent:

You can’t automate relationships.

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Beth and Lisa explore the fear beneath professional visibility, why people hesitate to post or speak honestly online, and what separates a connection from an actual relationship.

They also discuss:

• How to become visible without performing a polished professional persona
• The difference between listening and simply waiting to speak
• What artificial intelligence can support, and what should never be outsourced
• Why critical conversations either strengthen trust or quietly destroy it
• How leaders, sales professionals, and teams can communicate with greater clarity and humanity
• Why connection, curiosity, kindness, and community still matter in an algorithm-driven world

This is a conversation about reputation, belonging, confidence, digital communication, and the human work required to make relationships mean something.

Learn more about Beth Granger:
https://www.bethgranger.com

Learn more about Lisa Lacy:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when nothing you accomplish ever seems to be enough?

In this solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy explores the long-term impact of chronic devaluation, especially when it begins in childhood. She shares personal stories of earning straight A’s, leading teams, serving on committees, excelling in performance, and still feeling as though the finish line kept moving.

When you are told to go left and then criticized for not going right, you may stop trusting your own direction. Over time, that confusion can shape your confidence, your relationships, your ambition, and your ability to fully receive your own success.

This conversation explores:

• Why devaluation can create overachievement and overfunctioning
• How moving standards teach children to distrust themselves
• Why accomplished adults may still struggle to feel successful
• How early devaluation can affect romantic and professional relationships
• The difference between creating from self-expression and performing for approval
• How to receive feedback without turning it into a verdict on your worth

Devaluation did not stop Lisa from becoming a leader, performer, entrepreneur, writer, and creator.

She accomplished it anyway.

But the deeper work is learning to accomplish without still carrying the need to prove that she deserves to be valued.

What have you spent your life accomplishing in the hope that someone would finally recognize your value?

And what might you create next if you no longer needed their permission?

Welcome to the Edge.
www.lisalacy.com

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bryan Blackmon left Texas for California chasing a dream. Instead, he found himself homeless, sleeping in his car, and drowning in alcohol and addiction.

Then an elderly landlord named Elaine chose not to give up on him.

Her belief became a turning point, but Bryan still had to do the work of becoming someone he could believe in, too.

Today, Bryan is sober, a recovery advocate, transformation coach, and the creator of Crab Crew Life, a community built around recovery, resilience, adaptability, accountability, and belief.

Bryan says the crab does not swim. It does not fly. It claws its way forward from the bottom of the ocean floor.

And so did he.

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Bryan and Lisa explore:

• What homelessness and addiction look like from the inside
• The difference between getting sober and rebuilding your identity
• Why redemption is not a moment, but a daily routine
• The ordinary habits that restore dignity and self-respect
• How one person’s belief can help rewrite a life
• Why community can carry us when willpower is no longer enough
• Who we become when survival is no longer our only identity

This is a conversation about second chances, accountability, human connection, and the courage required to keep clawing forward when life has taken you all the way to the bottom.

Learn more about Bryan Blackmon and Crab Crew Life:
https://crabcrewlif​​e.com

Learn more about Lisa Lacy:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It is exactly midnight, I am editing Notes From a Certified Madwoman, and I have finally realized something:

Maybe I was never crazy.

Maybe I was wounded, dysregulated, surviving, and just slightly feral.

In this solo episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, I talk about what happens when trauma is mistaken for personality, survival responses are reduced to mental illness, and the context of a person’s life disappears beneath the diagnosis.

This is not an argument against therapy, psychiatry, medication, recovery, or mental health treatment. Those things save lives, including mine.

It is an invitation to ask a fuller question.

Not only:

What is wrong with you?

But also:

What happened to you?

I also share why some details were intentionally left out of my book, why telling the whole truth can sometimes bring consequences from the very people who benefited from your silence, and why this book is not an attempt to explain or defend myself.

It is an exploration of what happens when we forget that context matters.

Because trauma may explain behavior without excusing harm.

Because a diagnosis may describe symptoms without telling the whole story.

And because sometimes the woman everyone called crazy was carrying more than one nervous system should ever have had to carry alone.

Notes From a Certified Madwoman is coming Fall 2026.

Welcome to the edge.

www.lisalacy.com

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Price of Waiting for Permission and the Power of Becoming Visible Anyway

What happens when a woman stops waiting to feel confident, stops explaining every decision, and starts building the life she knows she is capable of creating?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with award-winning entrepreneur, author, podcast host, and founder of the Badass Queen™ movement, Renee Carbone Fleming.

Renee filed for bankruptcy. Her marriage ended. She found herself rebuilding from the ground up and made a two-word decision that would shape everything that followed:

Watch me.

That decision became a philosophy, a movement, and the foundation of the WATCH ME Method™, Renee’s five-principle operating system for women who are done seeking permission, shrinking their ambitions, and waiting for approval before taking action.

Renee went on to build a direct-sales organization that generated more than $13 million, lead a team of over 400 people, create a multimillion-dollar brand empire, publish three books, launch the Unapologetically Badass podcast, and see her brand featured on the NASDAQ billboard in Times Square.

In this bold and honest conversation, Lisa and Renee explore:

• What reinvention really looks like before the success story becomes polished
• Why overexplaining quietly weakens a woman’s authority
• The hidden emotional and financial cost of waiting for approval
• Why confidence is the result of execution, not the requirement for it
• How women can become visible before they feel completely ready
• What Renee had to survive, release, and rebuild between bankruptcy and success
• How to stop asking others to approve the future you are creating

This is a conversation for every woman who has ever known she was capable of more but kept waiting for permission to prove it.

Connect with Renee Carbone Fleming:
https://badassqueen.co

Connect with Lisa Lacy:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Female Anger, Menopause, and What Happens When the Manageable Woman Disappears

People celebrate strong women until those women get angry, set boundaries, stop apologizing, or remove access.

In this episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, Lisa Lacy explores female anger, menopause, nervous-system overload, and what happens when the emotionally manageable woman begins to disappear. Menopause may not create a new, irrational woman. It may reveal the woman who spent decades swallowing betrayal, exhaustion, grief, emotional labor, and uncomfortable truths to keep everyone else comfortable.

This conversation also holds the harder truth: anger can carry important information, but justified rage can still cause harm. Trauma explains behavior. It does not excuse it. Healing is not about silencing anger or worshipping it. It is about learning to hold truth without destruction, boundaries without cruelty, and power without abandoning our humanity.

This episode draws from Lisa’s upcoming book, Notes of a Certified Madwoman, an exploration of trauma, survival, identity, nervous-system adaptation, and the women we became in order to survive.

Who benefited from the version of you who carried her suffering quietly?

Welcome to the edge.

www,lisalacy.com

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when the thing that made you feel most alive nearly kills you?

“Rocketman” Dan Schlund is one of the last professionally trained Rocketbelt pilots in the world. For a decade, he flew jet packs at events across 25 countries and six continents, performing hundreds of flights without a parachute and with only seconds of fuel strapped to his back.

But Dan’s most extraordinary story began after the spectacle ended.

Following devastating burns, extensive skin-graft surgeries, and a crash that left him with a broken neck, Dan lost far more than his ability to fly. He lost his income, his marriage, and the identity he had built around being the Rocketman. He also became dependent on pain medication and had to rebuild his life from the ground up.

Dan eventually founded National Set Medics, growing it into a multimillion-dollar company that provides medical professionals for film and television productions nationwide. Ten years after his final flight, he purchased the Rocketbelt and training hangar and returned to the air one more time for his memoir and documentary, The Last Rocketman.

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy and Dan explore:

• What happens when your identity disappears overnight
• The difference between courage and fearlessness
• How the nervous system responds after catastrophic injury
• Addiction, recovery, and the invisible work behind a comeback
• Calculated risk and decision-making under pressure
• Why Dan believes fear is information, not instruction
• What it took to strap the Rocketbelt on one final time

Dan’s message is not that we should become fearless. It is that courage can be practiced, preparation can change our relationship with fear, and our worst experience does not have to become our final one.

Learn more about Dan, his book, and the documentary:
https://rocketman.tv/

Learn more about Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:
https://www.lisalacy.com/

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Psychiatric labels, medical dismissal, and what happens when a human being becomes paperwork

What happens when a provider sees your psychiatric history before they truly see you?

In this deeply personal solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy explores the dangerous gap between being treated as a medically complex human being and being reduced to “the psychiatric patient.”

Drawing from her lived experience inside mental health facilities, jail, addiction recovery, emergency rooms, and repeated life-threatening medical crises, Lisa examines how quickly dignity, autonomy, and credibility can disappear once a diagnosis enters the room.

This episode explores institutionalization, medical gaslighting, hospital trauma, psychiatric bias, and the devastating consequences of being labeled emotional instead of symptomatic, anxious instead of endangered, and crazy instead of sick.

It also offers an early look into Lisa’s forthcoming memoir, Notes From a Certified Madwoman, releasing in October. Part memoir, part cultural critique, and part nervous-system conversation, the book asks a question that could change how we understand trauma and mental illness:

What if the diagnosis was sometimes describing survival?

Mental illness should never cancel physical illness.
A psychiatric record should never erase a patient’s credibility.
Institutionalization should never require the surrender of human dignity.

Learn more about Lisa, the podcast, and her upcoming work at:

https://lisa-lacy.com

Notes From a Certified Madwoman releases in October.

See you at the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you grow up without hearing “I love you,” without being held, and without learning what safe, enduring affection feels like?

In this deeply personal solo episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, I explore the difference between loving someone and knowing how to experience love.

My parents never told me they loved me. My father wrote the words in letters I would not open until decades later, after he died. My mother never said them. I learned touch through violation rather than comfort, and when I became a mother, I had to consciously teach myself how to hug my daughter and say, “I love you.”

For years, I believed love meant providing. I became the financial provider, the problem-solver, the rescuer, and eventually a workaholic driven by survival.

Now, with the help of transformational coach Steve Barton, I am exploring a different idea:

Love can be wisdom.
Love can be trust.
And love can simply be love.

We also talk about menopause, the disappearing bullshit filter, and the challenge of setting boundaries that are loving, direct, and final. Because you can love someone, understand them, forgive them, and still decide they no longer have access to you.

This next chapter is not about performing love.

It is about finally learning what love feels like when it does not require self-abandonment.

What did you perform in order to survive?

Learn more at lisalacy.com

See you at the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Burnout, Boundaries, and Why the Most Capable Person in the Room May Be Closest to the Edge

What happens when competence becomes a survival strategy?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with life coach and former technology leader Loren Silverman for an honest conversation about burnout, overthinking, boundaries, self-abandonment, and the hidden cost of always being the capable one.

After nearly two decades working in technology, program management, and digital transformation, Loren realized that the part of his career that mattered most was not the technology. It was helping the people behind it.

He also recognized a difficult truth: persistence can look admirable from the outside while quietly costing us our satisfaction, health, and connection to ourselves.

Today, Loren is the founder of Silverman Coach and the creator of Life Reboot: Nerd Edition, a coaching experience for nerds, geeks, overthinkers, and overwhelmed professionals who are ready to trade chaos for clarity, build meaningful boundaries, and finally follow through on what matters.

Together, Lisa and Loren explore why the most capable person in the room may also be the person closest to the edge, how competence becomes a performance, and why real transformation is often built through small, repeatable choices rather than dramatic overhauls.

They also discuss the difference between persistence and self-abandonment, the role values play in decision-making, and what it takes to stop treating yourself like a problem that needs to be optimized.

Learn more about Loren Silverman and Silverman Coach:
http://silverman.coach

Learn more about Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How Parents Can Recognize Risk, Interrupt Addiction, and Become Their Child’s Strongest Protective Force

Every parent wants to believe their child will know how to recognize danger, make the right decision, and walk away when drugs enter the picture.

But today’s drug landscape is more accessible, potent, and aggressively marketed than many families realize. By the time a parent knows something is wrong, the problem may already be much larger than anyone understood.

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with author, educator, private investigator, and addiction prevention advocate Dave Kopeny.

Dave grew up in a home consumed by addiction. He was given LSD at eight years old, knew how to roll a joint by nine, and later lost his father, brother, and sister-in-law to alcohol and drug use.

Those experiences became the foundation for more than 30 years of work with adolescents, young adults, and families navigating addiction and other high-risk behaviors. Throughout his career, Dave has served as a school counselor, teacher, probation officer, law enforcement officer, gang investigator, and private investigator specializing in teen addiction and intervention.

Together, Lisa and Dave explore:

• Why the “war on drugs” failed
• How parents can recognize the early warning signs of substance use
• The difference between healthy supervision and destructive surveillance
• How social media and modern drug markets target young people
• What parents should do when they suspect their child is using drugs
• How families can replace fear and helplessness with awareness, action, and hope

Dave is the author of Tip of the Spear: How to Educate, Supervise, and Monitor Your Child in a World of Increasing Drug Abuse and Addiction and the founder of ASAP Community, where he provides parents with practical tools to protect and support their children.

Connect with Dave Kopeny:
https://asapcommunity.org

Connect with Lisa Lacy:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jim Hughes on Identity, Fear, Self-Judgment, and Becoming the Person Beneath the Performance

The person who got you here may have been exactly who you needed to become.

The achiever. The problem-solver. The founder who never stops moving. The leader who learned how to carry the pressure, meet the expectations, and become whatever the moment required.

But what happens when that identity begins keeping you from where you want to go next?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with coach, author, speaker, and Untamed founder Jim Hughes for a conversation about the stories, fears, and deeply rooted beliefs that quietly shape who we become.

Jim has lived in 12 countries, built and led a multimillion-dollar engineering business in Australia, explored an extraordinary range of careers, and even skied the world’s longest giant slalom race wearing only a G-string. For the past decade, he has helped high-achieving founders and leaders stop living as the people they believe they should be and begin becoming the people they genuinely want to be.

Together, Lisa and Jim explore:

• The hidden ways founders and high performers waste energy
• Why motivation may be overrated
• How fear disguises itself as ambition and growth
• Why changing what you do is not enough without examining who is doing it
• The role self-judgment plays in keeping people stuck
• How voices from our past continue influencing decisions they are no longer entitled to make
• What it takes to release the identity that helped you survive

This is a conversation about success, identity, performance, and the courage required to stop obeying the person you once needed to be.

Connect with Jim Hughes and Untamed:
https://www.becomeuntamed.com

Connect with Lisa Lacy:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Notes From the Edge is where we explore trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, and the deeply human stories underneath the roles we perform.

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Curiosity, Compliance, and Teams That Think.

Why do capable, intelligent teams stop taking initiative?

Sometimes it is not because people are lazy, disengaged, or unwilling to contribute. Sometimes they have learned that following directions is safer than asking questions, challenging assumptions, or offering an original idea.

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Dr. Katie Trowbridge, an award-winning educator, TEDx speaker, leadership strategist, author, and CEO of Curiosity 2 Create.

After more than 25 years in the classroom, Katie began bringing the principles of curiosity, trust, and thoughtful questioning into organizations. Her work helps leaders move beyond managing behavior and toward creating cultures where people think deeply, contribute ideas, take ownership, and lead with purpose.

Together, Lisa and Katie explore:

• Why leadership shifted from developing people to managing compliance
• Why capable teams sometimes stop taking initiative
• The leadership habits that unintentionally silence good ideas
• What great teachers understand about human development
• How curiosity and trust create stronger workplace cultures
• The CREATE Method™ and how leaders can build teams that think for themselves

Dr. Katie Trowbridge is the author of Lead Boldly, Think Deeply and the creator of the CREATE Method™, a framework designed to help leaders develop stronger thinkers and more sustainable organizational cultures.

Learn more about Dr. Katie Trowbridge and Curiosity 2 Create:
https://curiosity2create.org

Learn more about Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Join us for a human conversation about leadership, curiosity, and what becomes possible when people are trusted to think.

See you at the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when someone you love is in crisis, refuses help, and waiting for them to become “ready” may cost them their life?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with attorney, former prosecutor, and family crisis advocate Mark Astor for a necessary and deeply human conversation about addiction, severe mental illness, involuntary treatment, family trauma, and the difficult line between compassion and enabling.

Mark is a partner at Astor Simovitch Law, where he helps families navigate crises involving psychiatric instability, substance use, failed treatment efforts, medical complexity, and resistance to care. His work includes emergency guardianships, recovery planning, and legal intervention through Florida laws such as the Baker Act and Marchman Act.

This work is not theoretical for Mark.

Two days after burying his father, he stood beside police and paramedics as a member of his own family was involuntarily transported for psychiatric evaluation. That experience gave him a perspective no courtroom ever could and ultimately shaped his mission to help families take informed, lawful, and compassionate action before irreversible harm occurs.

Together, Lisa and Mark explore why “waiting until they are ready” can sometimes be deadly, how cognitive impairment affects a person’s ability to recognize that they need help, and when legal intervention may become an act of love rather than punishment or control.

They also examine the emotional burden carried by parents, spouses, and siblings, the civil-rights questions surrounding involuntary treatment, and how families can preserve a loved one’s dignity while still acting to protect their life.

Behind every diagnosis, arrest, psychiatric hold, or involuntary commitment is a human being trying to survive and a family desperately trying not to lose them.

Learn more about Mark Astor and his work:

https://x.com/AstorSimovitch

https://www.instagram.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/@astorsimovitchlaw

Learn more about Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Addiction, Bipolar Disorder, and Rebuilding a Life with the S.O.B.E.R. Method

What happens when you remove the substance, but the pain, pressure, and survival patterns underneath it remain?

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with author, entrepreneur, podcast host, and addiction recovery advocate Massimo Rigotti for an honest conversation about addiction, bipolar disorder, grief, confidence, and the complicated work of rebuilding a life in recovery.

After navigating addiction, mental-health challenges, professional upheaval, and devastating personal loss, Massimo created the S.O.B.E.R. Method™, a framework combining Stoic principles, self-observation, behavior modification, the execution of positive habits, and holistic restoration.

Together, Lisa and Massimo explore why abstinence may be only the beginning, what traditional recovery models can sometimes overlook, and how shame, identity, self-trust, and confidence influence a person’s ability to create lasting change.

They also examine the hidden dependencies of high-achieving professionals, the difference between looking functional and genuinely being well, and what it takes to stop escaping yourself and begin building a life you no longer need to numb.

Learn more about Massimo Rigotti and the S.O.B.E.R. Method:

Digital S.O.B.E.R. Method: Beat Phone Addiction and Reclaim Your Attention in 5 Stoic Steps — Available now!  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H93ZTVS9/

 Free gift! Want the tools I use with clients?  https://sobermethod.com/5tools 

Your Future is S.O.B.E.R.™Website: https://sobermethod.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sobermethod/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sobermethod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sobermethod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sobermethod
Learn more about Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Richard Spegal on Dark Fantasy, Mental Health, and the Battles Within

Author Richard Spegal returns to Notes From the Edge for a deeper conversation about the profoundly human truths hiding inside dark fantasy.

Richard creates supernatural worlds filled with danger, moral complexity, and characters who are anything but one-dimensional. Beneath the monsters, battles, curses, and impossible choices are people wrestling with grief, trauma, isolation, identity, loyalty, responsibility, and the war taking place inside their own minds.

Drawing from 21 years of service in the United States Army, including the 82nd Airborne Division and the Pennsylvania National Guard, Richard brings an uncommon understanding of discipline, leadership, sacrifice, survival, and the emotional cost of always being expected to remain strong.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why fantasy can reveal truths that realism sometimes cannot
• How invisible mental health struggles become visible through monsters, curses, and supernatural transformations
• The influence of military service on Richard’s portrayal of trauma and moral injury
• Why flawed, emotionally complicated characters feel more genuinely human
• What readers may be searching for when they enter darker fictional worlds
• Whether the parts of ourselves we fear most are truly monsters or simply wounded places asking to be understood

Richard is the author of the Wolves and Ravens trilogy and the Eternal Nights series, where paranormal danger collides with questions about humanity, survival, love, and the choices we make when there are no easy answers.

Explore Richard Spegal’s books and work:
https://richardspegal.com

Learn more about Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:
https://www.lisalacy.com

Welcome to the Edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this deeply personal solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy records at 3 a.m., during the hour when the world grows quiet and every unfamiliar sensation in the body becomes impossible to ignore.

Lisa lives with hereditary antithrombin deficiency, a rare congenital blood disorder that allows her blood to clot even while she is taking medication designed to prevent it. After surviving multiple pulmonary embolisms, permanent lung damage, years of medical dismissal, and surgical menopause, she knows what it means to live inside a body that cannot be completely trusted.

But this episode is about more than illness.

It is about the unbearable loneliness of carrying something no one else can see.

It is about looking capable while quietly monitoring every cramp, pressure, breath, and unfamiliar sensation. It is about needing accommodations without appearing visibly sick, explaining limitations other people cannot understand, and constantly trying to determine whether the danger is physical, hormonal, psychological, or all three.

Invisible illness can turn a person into the patient, investigator, advocate, and frightened witness of their own body. It can make ordinary life feel like a continuous negotiation between vigilance and joy.

Lisa explores medical trauma, mortality, menopause, fear, purpose, and the exhausting expectation that people living with chronic illness should perform strength simply to remain worthy of care.

This is not a story about becoming fearless.

It is a conversation about learning to live fully while acknowledging that fear is sometimes reasonable, uncertainty is real, and invisible does not mean imaginary.

Learn more about Lisa and Notes From the Edge at:
https://www.lisalacy.com

See you at the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Recovery, AI, and the Human Cost of a Missed Moment in Addiction Treatment

What happens when someone finally finds the courage to ask for help, calls a treatment center, and no one answers?

To an organization, it may look like a missed call or a dead lead. But on the other end of that phone is a human being standing inside a brief and potentially life-changing moment of willingness.

In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with David Sichel, founder of Blueshirt Media and a person in long-term recovery who understands this experience personally.

Before entering recovery, David reached out for help with his addiction and never heard back. Today, he has built a HIPAA-compliant AI platform designed specifically for addiction treatment centers, helping them answer calls around the clock, reconnect with people who previously asked for help, and transfer qualified callers directly to admissions professionals. 

Together, Lisa and David explore:

The performance of appearing okay while actively drowning
What silence communicates when someone finally asks for help
The human being behind every so-called “dead lead”
Whether AI can protect human connection rather than replace it
Where technology must stop and trained professionals must step in
The ethical, emotional, and human cost of an unanswered call

This is not simply a conversation about technology. It is a conversation about timing, shame, recovery, responsibility, and what can happen when someone answers at exactly the right moment.

Host: Lisa Lacy
https://www.lisalacy.com

Guest: David Sichel, Blueshirt Media
https://www.blueshirtmedia.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the edge.

Notes from the Edge with Lisa Lacy

Human conversations about trauma, identity, recovery, reinvention, relationships, leadership, and the lives we build after survival. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.