Empowering Authentic Service: Tina Parker's Journey from Military Leadership to Personal Well-Being and Community Impact

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.

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<v Speaker 1>Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.

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<v Speaker 1>Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, hello, hello.

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<v Speaker 2>Everybody Just wanted to welcome my birthday friend today, Tina Parker.

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<v Speaker 2>We made it.

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<v Speaker 2>We've had some tech issues, by the way, apologize, for Instagram decided they didn't want us on today.

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<v Speaker 3>Sorry, tina, that's all right.

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<v Speaker 2>There's only eight other ones, so we're good.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know people who don't know Tina Parker.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me get to a brief intro here of Lead Outside the Lines, which is a transformational leadership organization that focuses on empowering individuals to lead with purpose and authenticity, which is Tina right.

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<v Speaker 2>Tina is a retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel with a wealth of experience in high-pressure leadership roles, which gives her a unique perspective on balancing service and personal well-being.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course, she's been a C-level executive.

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<v Speaker 2>She's Tina Parker.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm an elite neuro-encoding specialist and all of the other things that come with in that amazing package.

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<v Speaker 2>So happy birthday, my friend.

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<v Speaker 2>Again, I will not sing happy birthday to you Marilyn Monroe style.

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<v Speaker 2>You didn't want me to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>I respect it.

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<v Speaker 3>Are you sure you don't want other people like you're going to rob these folks that are listening of the joy of that?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I'm going to save them from not needing to go see a doctor for their ears.

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<v Speaker 3>All good, all good, thank you.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, it is my birthday, so super excited.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely so.

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<v Speaker 2>Again, happy birthday.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for spending the time with us, of course, on your birthday.

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<v Speaker 2>So first I would like you to, if you will, just tell us a little more about yourself, for people that haven't seen you on the show yet.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure, absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>So, yes, 23 years in the Air Force.

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<v Speaker 3>So I am a retired Lieutenant Colonel and I just I had and bring people together who are really looking to step in and step up in their life and create what they really, really truly want for the life that they're living and the contribution they want to make in the world.

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<v Speaker 3>And so, yeah, after 23 years, I said, okay, this has been amazing and it's time for the next chapter.

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<v Speaker 2>And the world's a better place because of it.

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<v Speaker 2>I tell you that, absolutely so, if we can, we're going to talk about service before self today.

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<v Speaker 2>So just before we get started, I want to remind everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's see if I can point the right way for Tina's birthday.

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<v Speaker 2>I did.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a blue QR code on the top right hand corner.

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<v Speaker 2>Please scan that.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're listening on the podcast forums later on, it is at empower performance strategiescom.

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<v Speaker 2>That's where the qr code takes you.

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<v Speaker 2>There are free ebooks, there are resources, facebook groups for veterans and their families.

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<v Speaker 2>Please be part of the family, um, and, of course, join the mission for us.

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<v Speaker 2>So, um, with that said, now it's all about you, tina no, it is not.

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<v Speaker 3>It is all about the people who are listening.

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<v Speaker 3>So, and I thank you too, michael, for everything that you're doing for veterans and anyone who actually just lands on this podcast, or any of your free resources, your coaching, because you, my friend, are literally paving the way for a lot of folks to pave their own way in a way that is truly authentic to who they are.

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<v Speaker 3>So thank you for the work you're doing too.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 2>I I I'm honored to get that from you, truly.

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<v Speaker 2>So, with that said, if we can, so you know, where do you?

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<v Speaker 2>You know service before self.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I know how passionate you are about this and I really kind of want you to.

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<v Speaker 2>Just where do you want to start with this?

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<v Speaker 2>I, of course, I have questions and we don't ever do the questions, so let's just get real.

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<v Speaker 2>So what is one of the most important things that you would say to be thinking about?

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<v Speaker 2>About that topic itself?

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<v Speaker 2>About that topic itself?

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<v Speaker 3>So I think what's really important about the topic was service before self, especially for military members, veterans.

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<v Speaker 3>Like service is in our blood, right, it's, it's literally what we do.

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<v Speaker 3>We are serving right in uniform and I know as being within the air force like part of our core values, like service before self, excellence in all that we do, and those are incredible and they're amazing driving factors right and guiding lights in the work that we do and just how we each individually show up, regardless of what it is you're doing.

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<v Speaker 3>But what I want to caution about is there can be these can always be taken too far right, especially when it comes to service before self, because we're taught and it's just conditioned and ingrained in us that you serve, you show up, you give a hundred percent, you're constantly looking ahead at how can you do better, how can you make things better.

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<v Speaker 3>But when we are trying to serve others before we have connected to ourselves, our needs, our desires, who we are in the world, we can run ourselves one, run ourselves into the ground doing everything for everyone else, and then what good are we right after that?

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<v Speaker 3>But the other part about that is it's not just the burnout that happens, it's that we're literally robbing the people we're serving of our own creativity of our own in our own genius, right.

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<v Speaker 3>Because when we are disconnected from ourselves and constantly putting our attention and energy on others first from ourselves, and constantly putting our attention and energy on others first, we're not actually bringing all of who we are to the table.

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<v Speaker 3>And when everyone does that collectively, we're just pulling out parts and pieces of what's really needed to move the conversations forward, to move ideas forward, to really just innovate and iterate on how do we do this better?

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<v Speaker 3>Right, to really just innovate and iterate on how do we do this better, right.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I just I caution folks that one, the burnout.

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<v Speaker 3>But two, when you're not connected to who you truly are, you're not bringing your whole self to the table.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and let's even go deeper into that, if we can, just for a minute.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you know we own businesses, you know I own multiple businesses, you know you know the drill right.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's sometimes, when you're trying to serve whether it be a podcast, clients, the other company, whatever the case may be if you are so tired and exhausted and burnt out.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's a very fine line for us to figure this out and we're going to dive into that with Tina too.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, this out and we're going to we're going to dive into that with Tina too is when are we again damaging what we can actually do, the relationships around us, because we're serving so much?

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<v Speaker 2>And you know, high level achievers generally say, oh well, I can do more, I can do more, I should do more.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't shit all over yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's not get into that right now, but give us some thoughts on that of hey, you know what you think you're serving, but you're serving at 50% now because you're really not in the right place, because you're not taking care of yourselves.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, it's really important to understand why you are serving in the way that you are right.

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<v Speaker 3>It's one thing to say I know I can bring my gifts and my genius, I know that I can help people and I know that I want to show up in full support of who I've committed to, what I've committed to in my life.

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<v Speaker 3>But something to be aware of is what's the driving factor behind that?

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<v Speaker 3>If we are searching for validation, if we are searching or trying to prove ourselves in some way right, it's not coming from a genuine place and we can do overdrive.

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<v Speaker 3>We'll just keep going and keep going, keep going and not really recognize when we have hit that point right.

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<v Speaker 3>And if we're not clear on where are we trying to go, why are we trying to do what we're doing and who do we get to be?

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<v Speaker 3>While we're showing up to do all of these things, the burnout happens, the exhaustion happens, the brain fog, right, when you're like I'm really smarter than this, like what is happening with me today, and you're off, right, and all of these things happen.

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<v Speaker 3>And they show up in other ways, like even the self-doubt that we talk about with neuroencoding, when we talk about shoulds, and again, we won't like go into the whole, don't shit all over yourself again, but it's I don't know, I'm pretty good, we're kind of getting in there, you, you know, but that's really what it comes down to as well.

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<v Speaker 3>I should be doing all of these things I'm not doing, right.

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<v Speaker 3>That just puts us into a downward spiral of self-doubt, of fear of I'm not.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not doing my part Right, and all of this puts us in a reactive mode, the fight flight, freeze, right, and our nervous system starts to shut down.

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<v Speaker 3>So when we're like, no, no, no, I need to keep going and I need to show up and I need to give more, you're actually giving less of you, of the best of you and taking care of ourselves.

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<v Speaker 3>It's different for everyone, right?

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<v Speaker 3>We're not talking about just going to get a mani pedi and a facial, right?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, that's great sometimes, but it's the little things.

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<v Speaker 3>It's.

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<v Speaker 3>I need one too, but it's the recognizing inside when I'm feeling off what's going on Right, and just getting curious about that.

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<v Speaker 3>Sometimes it's because you need a nap, because you're tired, because you're strung out, right.

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<v Speaker 3>So, yeah, there's a lot of things that can contribute to it.

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<v Speaker 3>But the other part of this, too, is it's not just about what you're doing.

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<v Speaker 3>It's about how.

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<v Speaker 3>Is what you're doing in alignment with who you are and how you are and what you stand for in the world?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, love that Absolutely and some of the key factors I know for myself and I know the people that I work with.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, when you're off, Like you were saying, Tina you're jumping on people really quick.

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<v Speaker 2>You're not your best self, right, and of course, in our own coding we train to literally default back to our best selves when we realize we're there.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's really important to take that 20-minute nap.

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<v Speaker 2>It's go breathe outside and take a walk in nature for a couple of minutes and celebrate it right.

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<v Speaker 2>So we create those neural pathways and we reinforce them with all the good hormones that our brain's going.

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<v Speaker 3>What give me more of that?

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<v Speaker 2>I know exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>But take that time it can be 10 minutes to reset yourself literally and you come back focused and in a more energetic, good place, good mood, and again back to defaulting, back to your best self.

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<v Speaker 2>Because again, it's not just you that's feeling tired, I promise you.

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<v Speaker 2>Your team, the people around you, your family is feeling it all too, and it can drain the entire organization, whether that be a corporate organization or normal, or your family.

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<v Speaker 2>It can drain and change the whole dynamic of it, which is absolutely opposite of what I know my friend Tina Parker would say is not what a leader wants to do.

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<v Speaker 3>Exactly.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, and that's the question, right Is to be able to pause when you notice.

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<v Speaker 3>Pause, notice, choose.

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<v Speaker 3>We've talked about this before, right Pause when you notice and then take notice of what you notice.

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<v Speaker 3>Wait a minute, I'm feeling really agitated right now.

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<v Speaker 3>What's the outcome that I'm hoping for?

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<v Speaker 3>That's not it, right, that's definitely not what we're trying to go after.

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<v Speaker 3>So then you choose.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, how do I want to show up in this moment and do I have the resources internally right now, in the best that I can do in the moment, to show up in that way and be honest, if you don't meaning you're hungry, I get hangry.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't ask my family about that.

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<v Speaker 2>Snicker bar on the way.

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<v Speaker 3>Tina Snicker bar on the way no-transcript is for you to be aware of what's happening internally and build your skillset to be able to shift yourself in any moment.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's part of what we do with neuroencoding is to really help people build that skillset to be able to notice when something's off.

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<v Speaker 3>Make the shift internally.

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<v Speaker 3>It's not about what's happening outside of us, it's about what's happening in here, to calm our nervous system, to refocus and to step into and, as you say, default back to our best selves instead of this wiring of worry and overwhelm and exhaustion and self-doubt, like none of that is helpful, but it's a natural way our brain will go right.

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<v Speaker 3>So we have to be intentional about building the skill set to shift that.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, and I love the things you said there.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to touch base and get your thoughts, of course, on this as well.

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<v Speaker 2>So you notice you're spinning.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, you're in the shit, right, let's just call it what it is right, because that's really what it is.

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<v Speaker 2>It's your BS system and it's just it's full of it usually.

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<v Speaker 2>So you notice it.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to default back to our best selves.

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<v Speaker 2>Give us some of your tips and thoughts on how do you do that the fastest.

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<v Speaker 2>My, my thought is always and I noticed, but I've been doing the work for a while now obviously, um is as soon as I notice it, I'm pretty much defaulting back because I've done the exercises and so forth, just like you have.

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<v Speaker 2>So give the people that you know that are listening or watching, of course, that don't know these tips.

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<v Speaker 2>Give them one of your favorites.

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<v Speaker 3>So one of my favorites is a little deep, then that's okay, but it's.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a two-parter, right.

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<v Speaker 3>And so the first part, I mean really it's the pausing and the noticing and then asking yourself who am I identifying as right now?

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<v Speaker 3>Because sometimes we're overcompensating for things, because we are currently identifying as somebody who doesn't know enough, somebody who doesn't have enough.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm an imposter, I don't know what I'm doing, what the heck are that?

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<v Speaker 3>Why do they even have me here?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, who's going to listen to me?

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<v Speaker 3>Right?

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<v Speaker 3>We have to be aware of what is that critical self-talk that's happening, that shaping how we're seeing ourselves in that moment.

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<v Speaker 3>Have me here, well, who's going to listen to me?

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<v Speaker 3>Right?

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<v Speaker 3>We have to be aware of what is that critical self-talk that's happening, that's shaping how we're seeing ourselves in that moment.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so that's the first thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 3>The second part is how am I viewing the people around me in the space that I'm in Meaning?

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<v Speaker 3>Am I viewing the people around me as they're judging me, they don't think I belong here, either, right, or I'm in a space that's hostile against me, no matter what's happening those two sides of the coin.

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<v Speaker 3>Then you assess what's possible if I live in a world where I don't think I'm enough and I think the people I'm talking to are judging me and don't think I'm enough either.

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<v Speaker 3>But what's possible in that space?

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<v Speaker 3>Nothing, nothing is possible when you are seeing yourself as someone who's not enough and you think everybody else is too Right, and so that's when it's like, okay, that's not helping me, it's not serving me, and I guarantee so.

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<v Speaker 3>That's when it's like, okay, that's not helping me, it's not serving me, and I guarantee you it's not true, like these things that play out in our mind.

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<v Speaker 3>It's called critical self-talk and judgment for a reason because it's not true, right.

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<v Speaker 3>So we can shift into power statements, and I think we've talked about this a little bit before, too is sometimes we can tend to go to straight to affirmations right, and affirmations are not bad.

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<v Speaker 3>But what we need to be mindful of is if I'm feeling like I'm not good enough and if I just try to tell myself, nope, I'm good enough, I'm good enough and try to give myself the cheerleader pep talk.

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<v Speaker 3>I was a cheerleader, I can say that, right, there's still a physiology inside of me that's going.

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<v Speaker 3>You're a big fat liar, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>You don't really believe that, right.

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<v Speaker 3>And so there's this fight.

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<v Speaker 3>But if we can instead give ourselves a power statement and say I am a person who can show up powerfully and learn and be open to expanding and growth, love that that is true.

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<v Speaker 3>Your body's like uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you are.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we can be open to growth, right.

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<v Speaker 3>And then all of a sudden it's like the tension dissolves and possibilities open up for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and then of course, you know you're, you're, you're thinking differently, right I mean, so you're going to, you're going to solve more problems and better if you will.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, there's all of those, those things that open up once that happens, and thank you for going through that.

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<v Speaker 2>I know we talked a little bit about it before, but again, someone else may not have seen it, so it's always valuable information.

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<v Speaker 2>So I really love that.

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<v Speaker 2>So I really love that.

00:18:32.521 --> 00:18:47.271
<v Speaker 2>So what would you say would be one of the most important ways, if you will, to how do I say this To understand hey, I'm burning out.

00:18:47.271 --> 00:18:48.261
<v Speaker 2>Let's just jump into.

00:18:48.261 --> 00:18:51.190
<v Speaker 2>You know, we're going full tilt here, right?

00:18:51.190 --> 00:19:04.425
<v Speaker 2>Woo-hoo, we're burning out, we're feeling everything is just out of whack with our integrity, our health, you know, because it affects all of it, right, the brain fog, it all affects us.

00:19:04.425 --> 00:19:06.663
<v Speaker 2>What would you say?

00:19:06.663 --> 00:19:16.626
<v Speaker 2>Hey, I'm at full burnout here, I'm ready to quit my job, I'm going to go get divorced, whatever the case, whatever that is for you, right, because everybody's individual and different.

00:19:16.626 --> 00:19:26.148
<v Speaker 2>What would you say hey, you know, of course we have the pause and those things, but what tips would you say to kind of get them back on track?

00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:38.532
<v Speaker 3>So I know I've shared this a little bit before, but I'll share a little bit of my story around this because I think it helps to illustrate when you start to notice you're going off the rails.

00:19:38.532 --> 00:19:43.109
<v Speaker 3>Right, things can show up physically.

00:19:43.109 --> 00:19:46.246
<v Speaker 3>Right, so they can show up in relationships.

00:19:46.246 --> 00:19:48.820
<v Speaker 3>Your relationships are starting to fall apart Physically.

00:19:48.820 --> 00:19:50.085
<v Speaker 3>Your body is falling apart.

00:19:50.085 --> 00:19:54.298
<v Speaker 3>Mentally you're not as as well as you could be, right.

00:19:54.298 --> 00:20:02.444
<v Speaker 3>And so for me, just very quickly, in this four year period, many, many years ago, right, so, thankfully, I've come out of that really well.

00:20:02.526 --> 00:20:09.586
<v Speaker 3>But this four year period, my body, literally, was trying to tell me it's, you're done, like we're done here.

00:20:09.586 --> 00:20:12.681
<v Speaker 3>Stop running yourself into the ground, I cannot keep up.

00:20:12.681 --> 00:20:18.868
<v Speaker 3>And, unfortunately for me, in that moment I was pregnant and I didn't listen, I just didn't.

00:20:18.868 --> 00:20:20.192
<v Speaker 3>I was like, nope, I can do it all.

00:20:20.192 --> 00:20:31.385
<v Speaker 3>I got this, I, you know, I've got it all together and I didn't listen to my intuition, and it caused me to continue to push through, being sick, and I lost my son.

00:20:31.385 --> 00:20:38.384
<v Speaker 3>And in that moment I was like, okay, something's not right here, like this should not have happened.

00:20:38.384 --> 00:20:41.833
<v Speaker 3>Um, and then I was pregnant, right away with my daughter.

00:20:41.833 --> 00:20:45.268
<v Speaker 3>So, very mindful then of okay, don't push yourself.

00:20:45.268 --> 00:20:48.054
<v Speaker 3>I didn't know how not to push myself, right?

00:20:48.054 --> 00:20:51.468
<v Speaker 3>I didn't understand where is that boundary?

00:20:51.468 --> 00:21:02.153
<v Speaker 3>Because I wasn't connected with my intuition and my inner wisdom at that time, right, and I was so focused on let me do everything that I'm supposed to do.

00:21:02.153 --> 00:21:04.946
<v Speaker 3>I've got to show up for everything, right?

00:21:04.946 --> 00:21:06.912
<v Speaker 3>So it was this battle that I felt internally.

00:21:09.641 --> 00:21:17.255
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and this is so normal with high achievers Absolutely Understand that we're not saying, hey, you're doing something wrong.

00:21:17.255 --> 00:21:28.549
<v Speaker 2>It's just the way we're kind of built of I can do this, if I don't do this and here's the self-talk right, if I don't do this, I'm just being lazy.

00:21:28.549 --> 00:21:44.355
<v Speaker 2>And here's a number one thing that I have found, especially with military, but people in general, is that if I'm being lazy, I'm going to default back to the person that used to be, that I don't want to ever be, and it's usually a fear driven thing.

00:21:45.196 --> 00:21:46.579
<v Speaker 3>It's always fear driven.

00:21:47.020 --> 00:21:49.252
<v Speaker 2>True Touche yes, absolutely.

00:21:49.252 --> 00:21:54.874
<v Speaker 2>And it takes them back to who they were before, because a lot of high achievers weren't always high achievers.

00:21:54.874 --> 00:21:59.213
<v Speaker 2>Something created leverage to kick them in the ass, to get them to move and do what they do.

00:21:59.213 --> 00:22:01.138
<v Speaker 2>So I just wanted to add that on.

00:22:01.138 --> 00:22:03.332
<v Speaker 2>You know in there is, you know it's.

00:22:03.332 --> 00:22:11.261
<v Speaker 2>It's not that you know you're you're defective, it's not that this or that it's, it's a, a created pattern, um, at some point.

00:22:11.883 --> 00:22:18.835
<v Speaker 3>So it is, and we reinforce the pattern when we tell ourselves well, I don't want to let people down, well, if I don't do it, who's going to do it?

00:22:18.835 --> 00:22:21.538
<v Speaker 3>And yes, I'm capable of it, so why not me?

00:22:21.538 --> 00:22:27.865
<v Speaker 3>Right, and so there's a fine line of why not me versus why why not me?

00:22:27.865 --> 00:22:30.251
<v Speaker 3>Okay, fine, I'll do it Right.

00:22:30.251 --> 00:22:33.962
<v Speaker 3>So thank you for bringing that up, because it's it absolutely is.

00:22:33.962 --> 00:22:40.898
<v Speaker 3>Not that there's anything wrong with us, right, we're wired to continue going right.

00:22:40.898 --> 00:22:45.414
<v Speaker 3>But when we don't notice, because we just don't know ourselves, right we're.

00:22:45.414 --> 00:22:59.657
<v Speaker 3>We're too focused on how we're showing up for other people versus how we're showing up for ourselves, and so it really makes a difference for us to be able to take that time to understand who we are.

00:22:59.657 --> 00:23:06.595
<v Speaker 3>Do our own inner work, all right, I wish there was a magic pill that you could just take and go oh, everything's good Now.

00:23:07.135 --> 00:23:11.223
<v Speaker 3>Give me two but there, there isn't.

00:23:11.223 --> 00:23:13.460
<v Speaker 3>There really just isn't right.

00:23:13.460 --> 00:23:16.853
<v Speaker 3>And it's taking notice of what's happening, right?

00:23:16.853 --> 00:23:21.827
<v Speaker 3>Because, just like so, after I had my daughter, then I was diagnosed with cancer, went through that whole ordeal and then had a divorce.

00:23:21.827 --> 00:23:23.839
<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, okay, after I had my daughter, then I was diagnosed with cancer, went through that whole ordeal and then had a divorce.

00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:26.006
<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, okay, what is happening?

00:23:26.006 --> 00:23:41.159
<v Speaker 3>I'm showing up for everybody else at work, but this behind the scenes is a hot mess, right, and I, I remember there was one day when I, after all of this, and I drove up to work and I'm just sitting in my car and I couldn't get out.

00:23:42.221 --> 00:23:45.325
<v Speaker 3>I literally just felt like a lead weight in the sea.

00:23:45.325 --> 00:23:47.238
<v Speaker 3>I got nothing.

00:23:47.238 --> 00:23:51.676
<v Speaker 3>I cannot get out of the car, like something has to change.

00:23:51.676 --> 00:23:59.794
<v Speaker 3>And that is when, like many of us and I know you've had these situations yourself that just it's that kick in the butt to go.

00:23:59.794 --> 00:24:13.069
<v Speaker 3>Okay, I, I don't want to give up doing well in my professional life and I'm not willing to have a complete disaster in my personal life either.

00:24:13.069 --> 00:24:14.953
<v Speaker 3>So what's possible now?

00:24:14.953 --> 00:24:17.117
<v Speaker 3>Both and right.

00:24:17.117 --> 00:24:21.511
<v Speaker 3>We talk about that before both, and this is not an either or world.

00:24:21.511 --> 00:24:26.063
<v Speaker 3>We get to create both and, but it takes asking different questions.

00:24:26.063 --> 00:24:32.805
<v Speaker 3>It takes really being aligned with who you are, and that means you have to know yourself.

00:24:33.550 --> 00:24:35.458
<v Speaker 2>You have to be vulnerable.

00:24:35.478 --> 00:24:36.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you do.

00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:38.376
<v Speaker 3>It takes vulnerability.

00:24:40.211 --> 00:24:43.155
<v Speaker 2>And that's a tough one, Even if it's just for yourself to say I need help.

00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:44.760
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely.

00:24:44.760 --> 00:25:00.942
<v Speaker 3>But here's the thing and I know you've seen this too is the more that we, as high achievers and leaders and people who want to be out there serving and contributing, the more that we are vulnerable and can voice hey, this stuff's going on for me too.

00:25:00.942 --> 00:25:02.875
<v Speaker 3>Here's what I'm doing about it.

00:25:02.875 --> 00:25:03.698
<v Speaker 3>It may not work.

00:25:03.698 --> 00:25:07.359
<v Speaker 3>It may work, but I appreciate you all being on this journey together with me.

00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:14.443
<v Speaker 3>You know, then, everybody's like oh, oh, I don't have to show up with all the armor and all the scaffolding and all that.

00:25:14.443 --> 00:25:22.063
<v Speaker 3>You know, and that just being that person who can hold vulnerable space, and be vulnerable yourself.

00:25:22.644 --> 00:25:23.285
<v Speaker 3>That is power.

00:25:24.150 --> 00:25:27.675
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just got chills everywhere.

00:25:27.675 --> 00:25:31.521
<v Speaker 2>So you know, literally, it's.

00:25:31.521 --> 00:25:33.785
<v Speaker 2>It's so true what you just said.

00:25:33.785 --> 00:25:48.596
<v Speaker 2>When you're vulnerable and you talk about what you've been through, people then connect, people then connect exactly, and then people say, oh, wow, me too.

00:25:48.596 --> 00:25:53.290
<v Speaker 2>And they can then say, oh, and this is what they did, this is what they found, this could help me too, and that's truly what makes the difference.

00:25:53.290 --> 00:25:53.511
<v Speaker 2>Team.

00:25:53.571 --> 00:26:23.451
<v Speaker 3>I'm so glad you said that truly well, and thanks for bringing up the vulnerability piece, because that really is service through yourself, not before, but service through you being authentically you, being fully present, being aware of yourself, aware of your surroundings, aware of the people around you, and creating space to co-create, to collaborate, to celebrate each other, to connect, because that's what we're wired for as human beings.

00:26:23.451 --> 00:26:38.005
<v Speaker 3>Right, and we've said this before, we are human beings, not human doings, but we get so caught up in the I have to do X in order to be seen as so that I can create whatever.

00:26:38.005 --> 00:26:39.753
<v Speaker 3>It's so backwards.

00:26:39.753 --> 00:26:42.602
<v Speaker 3>We got to create inside.

00:26:42.602 --> 00:26:54.271
<v Speaker 3>We have to be who we are and when we are the person that we truly are meant to be, these things will come through and we will have the life that we truly want it's be.

00:26:54.711 --> 00:26:59.457
<v Speaker 2>Do have not the other way around yeah, amen, and and I got chills again.

00:26:59.457 --> 00:27:04.040
<v Speaker 2>So stop.

00:27:04.060 --> 00:27:05.522
<v Speaker 3>Between you and me, it's just good.

00:27:06.163 --> 00:27:08.786
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, but it really it really took me back.

00:27:08.786 --> 00:27:13.817
<v Speaker 2>You know, here let's be vulnerable, right Is there was a dark, dark period.

00:27:13.817 --> 00:27:18.417
<v Speaker 2>You know, a few years ago, before we, I joined neuron coding and I was trying to figure out what.

00:27:18.417 --> 00:27:19.730
<v Speaker 2>Hey, you know what I've been doing?

00:27:19.730 --> 00:27:22.154
<v Speaker 2>Construction all of my life for 51 years.

00:27:22.154 --> 00:27:23.777
<v Speaker 2>Okay, not 51 years, 36 years.

00:27:23.777 --> 00:27:37.213
<v Speaker 2>But what do I want to be when I grow up, you know, and I've always wanted to do this kind of thing and, thank God, my wife and I talked and you know this is truly bringing me into service in a different way.

00:27:37.213 --> 00:27:40.344
<v Speaker 2>And I got news for you it totally changed the whole other company because I learned how to serve them in a different way.

00:27:40.344 --> 00:27:47.153
<v Speaker 2>And I got news for you it totally changed the whole other company because I learned how to serve them in a different way as well, and the people around me.

00:27:47.153 --> 00:27:52.451
<v Speaker 2>So what you said I mean I can't tell you how that just hit it was fantastic and true.

00:27:53.513 --> 00:28:03.069
<v Speaker 3>And thank you for bringing that up, because we can get so fixated on this one thing that we're trying to get after that inner work, what you are describing.

00:28:03.912 --> 00:28:14.630
<v Speaker 3>It has ramifications in a really good way, a beautiful ripple effect throughout all parts of your life, right, and I know that you see this sometimes too, when people come for coaching.

00:28:14.630 --> 00:28:33.638
<v Speaker 3>There's a very specific thing that they want to get after, right, but the process of getting after that in a way that is aligned and is really focused on you developing your inner self so that everything else works, everything else does work better, it truly does.

00:28:33.638 --> 00:28:38.252
<v Speaker 3>It doesn't just get pinpointed on this one thing that you're trying to get after.

00:28:38.252 --> 00:28:58.377
<v Speaker 3>So this, that is the beauty of this work, and I'm always amazed at ways that people open up possibilities and connect to what's available to them and think when things just start coming into their life right, we talk about the energetics of, of changing your vibration.

00:28:58.377 --> 00:29:15.842
<v Speaker 3>It changes the way people are magnetized to you, the way people see you, the way they receive you, the way that you hold your space, and that by itself, without you having to say anything, changes the way everything around you works.

00:29:16.529 --> 00:29:17.914
<v Speaker 2>Preach, dana, just preach, let's go.

00:29:17.914 --> 00:29:35.765
<v Speaker 2>Hallelujah, but seriously, amen, because I cannot tell you in my own life and I know yours as well doing this work and serving truly has brought in the most magical people into my life.

00:29:35.765 --> 00:29:44.300
<v Speaker 2>Tina Parker, and literally that vibration and that magnetism that you're talking about it.

00:29:44.300 --> 00:29:50.002
<v Speaker 2>It is crazy when I look back on the people that I now know across the world.

00:29:50.002 --> 00:30:06.276
<v Speaker 2>You know, the podcast is international, we're, we're across the world now, which is fantastic, and let's celebrate that for a minute, right, yeah, um, and, by the way, we're about to hit 10 000 downloads, so I it's.

00:30:06.276 --> 00:30:14.916
<v Speaker 2>It's so crazy, like you said, how that all the magnetism and the vibration brings the right people at the right time in your life and vice versa.

00:30:15.238 --> 00:30:19.675
<v Speaker 2>I like the thing, so it really does you really, you really nailed, nailed it there, man.

00:30:19.675 --> 00:30:22.722
<v Speaker 2>So, tina, we're past time.

00:30:23.510 --> 00:30:25.156
<v Speaker 3>I know, we always are.

00:30:25.710 --> 00:30:26.614
<v Speaker 2>We always are.

00:30:26.614 --> 00:30:34.020
<v Speaker 2>So, tina, first of all, how do people reach out to you that are interested in talking to you, learning from you, joining your organization?

00:30:34.809 --> 00:30:38.838
<v Speaker 3>Yes, you can go to our website, leadoutsidethelinescom.

00:30:38.838 --> 00:30:40.162
<v Speaker 3>We have.

00:30:40.162 --> 00:30:51.875
<v Speaker 3>I got to tell you, there's like some amazing things happening and it's partly because I broke through some of my own inner limiting patterns that I had right, part of, like I got to do it all by myself.

00:30:51.875 --> 00:30:56.057
<v Speaker 3>It's a pattern that we get stuck in, all right, and breaking through that.

00:30:56.057 --> 00:30:59.413
<v Speaker 3>Some things that we have coming up is we've got the happiest hour.

00:30:59.413 --> 00:31:03.251
<v Speaker 3>It's a virtual happy hour for visionary, ambitious women.

00:31:03.251 --> 00:31:12.419
<v Speaker 3>So sorry, michael, we'll have to have a happy hour some other time, but I'm on my way.

00:31:12.419 --> 00:31:20.535
<v Speaker 3>But it's truly spectacular when visionary, ambitious women get together who are here to elevate and raise each other up.

00:31:20.535 --> 00:31:23.342
<v Speaker 3>All right, there's no competition, it's all.

00:31:23.342 --> 00:31:25.317
<v Speaker 3>We're creating a bigger pie for everybody.

00:31:25.317 --> 00:31:29.410
<v Speaker 3>We've got mastermind dinners coming up across the country.

00:31:29.410 --> 00:31:37.621
<v Speaker 3>Actually, we are going from California into Texas in January, which is really cool, and a visionary women's accelerator coming up in February.

00:31:37.621 --> 00:31:43.549
<v Speaker 3>So like-minded, like-valued women coming together to expand possibilities with and for each other.

00:31:43.549 --> 00:31:44.973
<v Speaker 3>So so much goodness.

00:31:45.654 --> 00:31:46.517
<v Speaker 2>And I have been.

00:31:46.517 --> 00:31:52.096
<v Speaker 2>You know Tina's a friend, dear friend, and you know I have been in some of her trainings before.

00:31:52.156 --> 00:32:01.172
<v Speaker 3>She didn't, you know, always been just focused on women, but there's a big conversation that needs to happen with women and we get to create that space.

00:32:01.553 --> 00:32:05.300
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, and and they are blessed to have you focusing on them.

00:32:05.300 --> 00:32:16.319
<v Speaker 2>Really, I mean that, like, like, I, all of my heart, I mean that, um, I'm just a little jealous, it's fine, but I get you personally, so it's okay, I'll be, I'll deal.

00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:19.332
<v Speaker 2>So if you have a chance, you know, check her stuff out.

00:32:19.332 --> 00:32:26.723
<v Speaker 2>Um, please, if, please, if you have any kind of calling for it, join one of her masterminds or something like that, please.

00:32:26.924 --> 00:32:36.019
<v Speaker 2>Truly, it's a game changer With that said as always, I need three tips to get veterans and their families further faster.

00:32:36.621 --> 00:32:38.104
<v Speaker 3>Okay, three tips.

00:32:38.104 --> 00:32:39.394
<v Speaker 3>We're going to go back to.

00:32:39.394 --> 00:32:40.878
<v Speaker 3>Who are you being?

00:32:40.878 --> 00:32:42.279
<v Speaker 3>Pay attention to who you're being.

00:32:42.279 --> 00:32:57.644
<v Speaker 3>Pay attention to who you're being, pay attention to how you see the world around you, because it makes a difference, the lenses that you're looking through and then ask yourself the question is who I'm being and the way I'm seeing the world working for me or not?

00:32:57.644 --> 00:32:59.673
<v Speaker 3>Those three things.

00:33:00.153 --> 00:33:00.474
<v Speaker 2>Love it.

00:33:00.474 --> 00:33:02.861
<v Speaker 2>Once you're in integrity, it does work for you.

00:33:02.861 --> 00:33:05.634
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely All right, my friend.

00:33:05.634 --> 00:33:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Again, happy birthday.

00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:11.596
<v Speaker 2>Hope you have the most amazing, exciting, fun-filled birthday today.

00:33:11.596 --> 00:33:14.343
<v Speaker 2>And on that note, guys, we're out of here.

00:33:17.371 --> 00:33:23.769
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.

00:33:23.769 --> 00:33:27.520
<v Speaker 1>We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.

00:33:27.520 --> 00:33:34.077
<v Speaker 1>To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.

00:33:34.077 --> 00:33:39.080
<v Speaker 1>Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.

00:33:39.080 --> 00:33:44.142
<v Speaker 1>Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.

00:33:44.142 --> 00:33:45.896
<v Speaker 1>Catch you on the next episode.