Authenticity Is Authority: How to Build Real Influence with Jen Gottieb

 Everybody, even the biggest rock stars in the world have impostor syndrome because even the biggest people that
 Performed for years and years in front of millions of people would come backstage and they would be so nervous to go on and be
 Interviewed and they would come backstage and they would say to me, did I do okay? Was that good enough?
 I'm like, dude, you're slash. Are you asking me if you were good enough? Are you kidding?
 So it was a really nice reminder to me that people are people are people and like every time I get nervous or I feel like an
 Imposter or I feel not good enough everybody experiences that it's a human condition
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 Hey guys, what's up welcome to the latest edition of the Radcast
 I'm Ryan Alfred your host
 Excited today talking to another media person the famous woman
 She's a pretty lady, but she's a damn good business person talking to Jen got lead co-founder super connector media
 What's up, Jen? What's up, Ryan? I'm super excited to be here. Media has changed so much
 TVs changed and distractions and where media is on the smartphone and on social media
 But reflect on those vh1 days the vh1 thing really happened on accident
 I was an actress at a study musical theater in college and then I dropped out of college
 I moved to New York City to study musical theater at a two-year conservatory program immediately after studying at the school
 That I was at called the American Musical and Traumatic Academy
 I booked my dream role in the Broadway national tour of the wedding singer
 I played Linda the bitch that leaves Robbie Hart at the altar in the show. She's this lead afford want to be rock star
 She looks like a combination of Joan Jett and eighties Madonna like a virgin
 She's just this hilarious want to be rock star chick. I was on the road playing this character for a year
 And I get back from doing that and I see this audition for a sexy rocker chick and I'm like oh
 I could play that part. I could play that character. I know nothing about heavy metal music
 I know nothing about rock and roll
 But I'm like this is a gig. I'm an actress. I could go get this. I'm gonna go land this. I needed a job
 The night before the audition I googled everything there was to know about heavy metal learning all the band names
 I go in pretty much
 I felt like I bombed the audition because I kind of forgot all the things that I was memorizing
 They're like what kind of music do you like? I like everything from
 Beyonce to black Sabbath
 They could probably tell that I didn't know what the hell I was talking about at the end of the audition
 They're like oh Jen I noticed at the bottom of your resume
 It says that you do a great Britney Spears impersonation. So I'm like yeah, okay. I do
 They're like can we see your Britney and so I do my Britney Spears impersonation
 They're all laughing hysterically. It's like an uproar. Everyone finally is alive after being kind of bored with
 Makes I didn't know what I was talking about they call me two weeks later
 And they're like we want you to be in this box of junk on that metal show and I'm like really?
 They're like yes, you made everyone laugh your Britney Spears imitation got you the role
 That was the first moment in time when I learned that being my most authentic self is always what's going to get people to lean in and pay attention
 It wasn't that I knew everything about heavy metal music
 It was when I finally let myself shine that actually got me the gig
 I get this gig by being myself ironically, but I immediately reverted to I have to play this version of myself
 That wasn't me. I had to become heavy metal Jen. I wore super tight
 Spandex pants and I cut up all these rocker shirts and I pretended I like heavy metal music even though I didn't and before I knew it
 I had this big audience of all these metal guys that thought I was like this metal girl
 I have built this brand that was alive
 I got to meet all these huge rock stars one thing that I learned about people from this experience is that everybody
 Even the biggest rock stars in the world have imposter syndrome because even the biggest people that
 Performed for years and years in front of millions of people would come backstage
 And they would be so nervous to go on and be interviewed and they would come backstage
 And they would say to me did I do okay? Was that good enough? I'm like dude, you're slash
 Are you asking me if you were good enough? Are you kidding?
 So it was a really nice reminder to me that people are people are people and like every time I get nervous
 Or I feel like an imposter or feel not good enough everybody experiences that it's a human condition
 I lost myself along the way because I was playing a fake version of myself
 That couldn't have been further from who I really was and when the show ended
 I had to reinvent myself and start showing the world who I am and that was a big lesson in a lot of ways
 But I'm really grateful for the time. It was fun and it gives me a really amazing story to tell
 people
 People take it for granted that we all end up doing exactly what we plan to do
 Everything looks so planned and so cordial you being on that show and being the rocker chick and doing all those things all that
 But behind all that veil was here's a girl who has these aspirations and is trying to make the most of it
 And it's not exactly who she is from the outside looking in though
 It probably looked like you had everything going for it. Everything was perfect
 No one would have known that story or that instance at the time
 And I think people can take from that. Everybody's an original. People have such a hard time living to that
 Don't compare your real life to somebody else's highlight reel in social media
 Because what it looked like I was living the life and like all these photos with all these rock stars
 I was really out of alignment. I was really lost
 I was really depressed during that time because I was living alive
 And I was like having an argue internal argument with myself all the time. Who am I?
 I believe when you're out of alignment in your job you usually start to get out of alignment in your real life too
 It started all fall apart
 But publicly it looked great
 I think that people have a really big fear of being judged, of not being perfect, of not being good enough
 Because we spend a lot of time scrolling and comparing ourselves to other people's
 Highlight reels
 You're probably not looking at something that's completely real
 I hope for that person that it is completely real
 But a lot of the times we just share the great stuff
 And that's a okay because that's what social media is for
 But we need to remember that it's not all necessarily really what's going on behind the scenes
 We compare our chapter one to somebody else's chapter 20
 Maybe we're just getting started, maybe someone watches you
 And they want to start a podcast and they see your huge podcast
 And then they start to think I can't do that
 Look at how great he is, look at how many listeners he has, how many downloads he has
 I could never get to that but what they didn't see
 Is you starting from square one, building it from scratch
 Having nobody listening to you, I'm sure from the first one
 And having to put the work in and the consistency
 And they didn't see that
 We need to remember that when we find ourselves comparing
 And fearing judgment and fearing being imperfect
 And fearing starting from the beginning
 Everybody starts somewhere
 Beyonce started from zero
 We all started from zero
 Did you knew you were going to be a singer or Broadway actress?
 I will never forget the moment that I knew I wanted to be on stage for the rest of my life
 I was in this children's touring company
 Where we'd get up and sing different Broadway musicals
 It was always my dream to be Annie
 I never got to be Annie in the actual show
 Every birthday wish I would blow up my candles and wish to be Annie
 I finally got the chance to sing one of the songs in a show
 Where we sang a lot of different Broadway songs
 It wasn't really Annie
 But I remember I was singing that song
 And I remember looking out into the audience
 And seeing my mom and my dad in the lights
 And singing Annie
 And I was just, there's nothing better than this
 This is what I want to do for the rest of my life
 Sometimes it's what you want
 But sometimes it's so much better than you could have even imagined
 Because what I always thought
 And even throughout my entire young adulthood
 auditioning for musicals
 I thought that my future was going to be
 Singing other people's songs
 Reading other people's lines
 Being in a show where I auditioned and waited for someone to pick me
 And that we're being on television
 Where I recited lines and played a part
 I didn't allow myself to really expand and say
 Well, maybe there's a different way to perform
 And I remember when I quit acting and I started building my business
 My parents said, Jenna, are you sure you want to quit your dream?
 I'm like, you guys, I'm not quitting my dream
 I know for sure that I'll end up back on stage
 I don't know how
 I don't know in what capacity
 But I'm going to end up back on stage
 And now that I'm a motivational speaker
 And I speak for a living and I teach
 And I get to use my own words
 And I get to pick myself
 Instead of waiting for someone else to pick me
 And I'm on stage having those same moments that I have when I was a kid
 But it's so much better and so much different
 I get to help people
 It's so freaking cool
 But I could have never envisioned that
 When I was stuck in looking just inside the box
 Of what it should be
 Being an actress
 I didn't allow myself to expand
 And now that I look backwards when I connect the dots
 I'm like, oh wow
 It was what I wanted
 But it's so much better
 Than I could have ever imagined then
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 What framed your business perspective?
 You're seeing your actors multi-talented, attractive
 What do you felt like molded you as the business person?
 It was really a lot of getting heard know
 I think that one of the most powerful tools
 That a successful entrepreneur can have
 Is resiliency
 And the ability to be persistent
 Even when you're getting heard know when you're getting rejected
 Many people, the second that they hear know
 Or they get rejected
 Or the thing that they want doesn't work
 They stop
 Or they just like, oh I guess this isn't for me
 I'll go grocery shopping today
 And forget it, I'm not going to try anymore
 I'm going to go binge Netflix
 Or do something else that makes me feel good
 Because I don't want to be rejected
 When I was an actress, I was a professional
 Auditioner
 I got rejected probably 10 times a day
 Like no, no, no, no
 So I got really, really, really good at hearing know
 And no doesn't bother me anymore
 As an entrepreneur when I was building my business
 I got heard know all the time
 I got on sales calls that I didn't close all the time
 But I was resilient and persistent
 And I didn't stop until I got the yes
 And I think that that was built inside of me
 From being an actress
 And he heard know again and again and again
 And being okay with that
 I think one of the most powerful tools
 That you can own
 While building a business
 Is being best friends with the word know
 And being besties with rejection
 And being like, oh you're rejecting me
 Or saying no to me
 Okay, cool, that's just going to motivate me
 To go for it again in another way
 And I'll show you
 I had that mindset building my business
 And so I never stopped
 Ever and I still don't ever stop
 And I get heard know still to this day
 All the time when I try to speak on big stages
 Or I'm trying to get to the next level in my business
 Or we fail at something
 Or I don't close a sale
 Or one of our launches doesn't go as well as we wanted it to
 I'm like, okay, watch me
 I'm going to do it again
 I'm going to learn from that know
 I'm going to take whatever I learned
 And I'm going to put it towards the next one
 And make it an even bigger yes
 That has framed my entrepreneurial journey in a big way
 You have to be just intrinsically driven
 To the next thing
 Or how I reframe a no to a yes
 You can grasp that enough
 If someone's trying to be an entrepreneur
 How important that is
 Overthinking that no until
 Because you just convince yourself that
 You're not good enough or you can't make it
 Like it's just you can't live in that space
 You can live in it for a few minutes
 I hope my pity party in a container
 Because you have to see your feelings
 Wait yourself out of your feelings
 Or they're going to show up in different ways
 And your family's going to hate you
 Because you're going to be resentful
 I'm pissed
 I'm going to grieve for the next hour
 Or I'm going to go for the rest of the day
 I can be pissed off
 But once I'm done being pissed off
 I'm going to reflect and see
 What did I learn from this failure
 This fuck up or this no
 Or this rejection
 Now I'm going to move forward with a new plan
 Give yourself a container
 The biggest mistake is that people are upset forever
 Or they hold on to it
 Or they hold resentment
 That's like drinking poison
 Hoping the other person dies
 If you hold resentment towards somebody else
 It's only hurting you
 You got to let go
 And you got to move on
 So take your moment
 The upset
 Then be like
 Okay, I'm done
 This is my container
 I'm over the container
 And now I'm moving forward
 Looking at what I learned
 And how am I going to turn this no into a yes
 100%
 Talk to me about your journey into PR
 And leading up to what you guys are doing for people
 My whole that metal show
 Portion of my life ended
 It ended with a big bang
 In one week's time
 The guy that I thought I was going to marry
 Broke up with me kicked me out of the apartment
 Because he was cheating on me with one of our friends
 And my show got canceled
 And so I went from living in this multi-million dollar apartment
 On the upper west side to living in a tiny little bedroom
 With a window that faced a brick wall
 With six other actors in an apartment
 I was staring out at that brick wall
 And I'm like one day I will know why this happened
 And that's all I could say
 I decided in that moment that I wanted to be an entrepreneur
 I wanted to build a business
 I didn't want to wait for somebody to pick me anymore
 I wanted to choose myself
 I was really into fitness
 I was really in the light like healthy living
 And I knew I'd work out as an actress
 Like as a performer
 I was really good at that
 And I always wanted to train people
 So I was like being a trainer is a great gig
 Because I can still act
 And I could like make my own schedules
 Kind of like being an entrepreneur
 So that was the first business that I decided to build
 And I needed to rebrand myself
 Because everybody knew me as this heavy metal chick
 I was that's who I was
 I had to do a lot of rebranding
 And a lot of repositioning
 And a lot of changing the narrative
 I didn't really know anything about business or marketing
 But I knew a hell of a lot about PR
 I had a lot of relationships
 I had a lot of people that I knew
 That knew a lot about that
 So I started getting featured in the media
 As a fitness girl
 Telling the story about how I went from
 Being on that metal show to now
 Helping people transform their bodies in their lives
 And I started getting on TV for it
 I started getting into publications for it
 I started amplifying and leveraging all of that media
 To tell a different story
 I started learning how to do that
 Kind of by just doing it
 And implementing it myself
 And then I met my now husband Chris
 He was doing these events for entrepreneurs
 That connected them to the media
 And I'm like this is cool
 He was teaching them how to pitch themselves
 How to get themselves into the media
 I saw something very cool when I looked at this vision
 I was like you're doing events
 I'm really good on stage
 I haven't been on stage in a long time
 I know how to teach people how to do this
 A lot of these people that he was teaching
 How to get in the media
 They had a lot of mindset issues
 They had a lack of confidence
 Fear and posture syndrome
 And I had a lot of tips
 On how to be more confident
 And how to get over rejection
 And how to have perseverance
 How to be persistent
 So we came together
 And we're like let's build super connector media
 And let's do PR differently
 Let's lead with the mindset piece
 Let's teach people how to be more confident
 Let's teach people how to share their message
 They're a real version of who they are
 Because I spent a long time just sharing the fake version of who I was
 Let's make this a show
 We started producing these events
 That connected entrepreneurs to the media
 I'm fair advantage live in New York City
 We teach thought leaders, entrepreneurs, business owners, authors, speakers
 How to build profitable brands
 Not just by leveraging PR
 But by leveraging social media
 All types of media, podcasts
 YouTube
 And being visible and omnipresent
 You know that you learned your skill
 And you honed your craft
 And then you re-deconstructed and engineered it into a business
 And doing it for others
 You couldn't be more right about who owns the relationships
 And having relationships with media
 And the way that you guys framed that
 It's so important for people
 I love how you're training people
 To build the relationships and do it
 For themselves on some level
 But also just building those true connections
 One to one
 We noticed that our mastermind members
 And the people that we were teaching
 Were actually getting better results
 Because they weren't renting the relationships
 They weren't renting the information
 They owned the information
 And they owned the relationships
 And they knew how to do it themselves
 And that is real equity
 In your cell phone and your company
 When you know how to pitch
 And you have the people in your rolodex to pitch too
 Now you've got the power
 And so these people that were helping
 Own that power
 They own that equity
 They own that knowledge
 And they're getting unbelievable results
 And we're like, you know what?
 This is what we're passionate about
 Not only are they getting amazing results
 But they're also transforming their lives
 And lives with their families
 And their mindsets and their confidence levels
 We're like, what if we took all of our energy
 And we took it away from the agency
 And we put it into our events
 And our trainings
 And our teachings
 And our masterminds
 And we sold the agency
 That was actually taking a very profitable arm of our company
 And getting rid of it
 And many people would say
 Don't fix what it's not broken
 Like leave it alone
 It's, you know, running
 And we're like, this doesn't fill our cup
 It doesn't make us happy
 I like it
 It's tough
 But I respect the hell out of it
 Talk to me about where we're making it up with you, Jim
 Where can we find all the deeds
 And everything that's important
 I get involved with everything you got going on
 Just go to my Instagram
 Everything's there on my link tree
 You can find everything
 You can find my podcast
 You can find my website
 You can find how you can work with super-connector media
 At Jen underscore Gottlieb
 Search for Jen
 Gottlieb, you'll find all the highlight clips from today
 Plus the full episode
 You don't have to find me at Ryan Alford
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