Episode 39 - Mr. Cult Daddy Unplugged - Identity, Christ Consciousness & Becoming Love w/ Taylor Perkins (Part 1)

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Welcome to Spirit Outspoken, the podcast for Christians who are ready to explore the deeper side of faith.

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We believe God's truth is bigger than what we've been taught, and that real spirituality isn't something to fear, it's something to discover.

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Each week we open the space to explore miracles.

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Energy, healing consciousness and divine science all through the lens of a God who loves us, and a faith that's still unfolding.

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Whether you're deconstructing, rebuilding, or just feeling spiritually stuck, this is your place to reconnect with wonder, deepen your walk and let the spirit speak.

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This episode is a spiritual gut check, a heart opening invitation, and a mind expanding conversation all in one.

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We're joined by Taylor Perkins, who you might know as the viral sensation, Mr.

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Cult daddy, as he opens up about the unraveling of his faith, identity, and success.

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What follows is a conversation about awakening through paradox, plant medicine, sacred union, and the path of radical love.

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What you seek isn't outside of you.

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It's already here Section one, identity, irony, and the cost of speaking up.

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Okay.

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Taylor walks us through the tension between performance and authenticity and how his online persona sparked unexpected controversy.

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This segment explores what it costs to speak up, disrupt the narrative, and live in integrity no matter how it's received.

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<v Rachael Loney>I am curious, why did you change from cult daddy?

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<v Rachael Loney>Was there a reason?

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<v Taylor Perkins>Oh my gosh, I get so many dms from people, primarily around two things.

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<v Taylor Perkins>One being named Cult Daddy, which the reason why I did that was because all truth, especially spiritual truth, requires embracing paradox.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It's kind of really tricky for your brain, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>Where you have to hold space for two things that feel like they're opposite, but they're not.

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<v Taylor Perkins>They complete each other.

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<v Taylor Perkins>There's a ton of performance within the spiritual space.

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<v Taylor Perkins>So many people, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>Where it's like channeling lights 7, 7, 7.

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<v Taylor Perkins>All about creating this kind of like aura of, here's what I am.

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<v Taylor Perkins>But then sometimes the teachings aren't embodied.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And so I'm like, okay, let me pick a name not that great, but then if people can see through it, I'll know that I'm at least doing something.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Plus, I was like, man, as soon as I start putting this stuff out there, like, you know, especially growing up super Christian, people are gonna say it's the devil, it's Satan, or he's starting a cult.

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<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

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<v Taylor Perkins>let me just own this.

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<v Taylor Perkins>But it's so funny'cause, you know, at the end of the video, a lot of times I'm like, I love you and I do the sign language for I Love You.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And I just got so many dms of people where they're like, what you teach is so good, but you always throw up devil signs and like your name,

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<v Jaisa Engasser>What.

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<v Taylor Perkins>know?

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<v Taylor Perkins>And I'm like, guys, you're reading way too much into this.

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<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

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<v Taylor Perkins>But I did think as the platform was growing, I'm like, okay, it's more important, I guess, to have a username that people feel safe with.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And so I decided to take away cult add, but I just put it back into my actual name because it'll always be a piece of me.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>I did see that.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>No, it's unfortunate that people don't understand irony, but it's fine.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>But I got

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<v Taylor Perkins>yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>it's worth,

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<v Taylor Perkins>I think a lot of people did where they could see past it.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Um, but yeah, it was at that stage where I'm like, all right, I need to be, I guess, a little bit less sarcastic'cause a lot of people too, were saying, they're like, I wanna share your videos, but I'm afraid to send it to someone and they're gonna be like, cult daddy.

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<v Taylor Perkins>What does that mean?

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<v Taylor Perkins>And so I'm like, okay, it's important that people discuss these things.

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<v Taylor Perkins>change my new username.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>we, we get that totally.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>We've thought a

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<v Rachael Loney>yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>um, we did this whole thing about like, we're even scared about, identifying as Christian because of what that can mean or

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<v Taylor Perkins>Mm.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>behind it.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>And people are like, oh no, I already know what you're

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>on how you've just identified yourself.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>So we get

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

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<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

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<v Taylor Perkins>totally.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Well that was like this last week I posted a video all about trying to overcome the ideas of perfection.

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<v Taylor Perkins>'cause it's like everything is infinitely expanding and so you're good where you're at.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You don't need to beat yourself up for not being perfect.

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<v Taylor Perkins>'cause it's like you'll never reach perfection.

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<v Taylor Perkins>There's always more, you can always expand just like the universe does.

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<v Taylor Perkins>but then I was talking about unity consciousness and Christ consciousness where it's infinitely expanding so it can hold space for everything, which is why we don't need to be the same.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like there's beauty in being different and I can hold space for it and say we look at things differently.

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<v Taylor Perkins>That is totally okay.

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<v Taylor Perkins>But it was funny because a lot of people, they're like, I love this, but the fact that you brought up Christ's consciousness, why does religion need to be pulled into this?

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<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, guys, you're the one that's associating Christ's consciousness with Jesus.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It's like, it doesn't mean that it's so much more like obviously Jesus.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yes.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Whatever you wanna say his name was.

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<v Taylor Perkins>In my opinion, the greatest teacher that's ever walked this earth, right.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Like definitely set the path.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Everything he taught very, so, very much true.

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<v Taylor Perkins>But it's like Christ is a title, guys.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You're the one that's associating it with religion and it's like Christ consciousness exists outside of religion.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Um, but yeah, you're totally right.

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<v Taylor Perkins>There's so many like frameworks that people put things into or as soon as they hear something, they want to like stick it in a box and it's like, how do we break people out of these boxes?

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<v Taylor Perkins>Right?

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<v Rachael Loney>Just opening people up to listening long enough.

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<v Rachael Loney>'cause we've found too, so often people, it's just like, Nope, I'm not part of that.

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<v Rachael Loney>Nope.

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<v Rachael Loney>I don't want any part of that.

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<v Rachael Loney>And it's like, we can have a really beautiful conversation if we're just willing to sit and kind of absorb some of this, you know?

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<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And that's, that's the whole thing that I'm trying to help people to understand with the expansion mindset is a lot of times people, when we, when we think of this where it's like, hold space for everything and hold space for diversity, it's just like absolutely.

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<v Taylor Perkins>I can hold space for diversity.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Except for the Christians.

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<v Taylor Perkins>'cause they're so annoying.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You know?

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<v Taylor Perkins>Or except for this group.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, no guys, it is, especially the groups that trigger you.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It

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<v Rachael Loney>Mm-hmm.

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<v Taylor Perkins>it's like, I get it.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You think you are smarter than them.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You can point to all of their actions where they are ignorant, where they're hypocrites.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, and a lot of that is very much so true.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You see through the illusion for them.

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<v Taylor Perkins>But it's a reflection.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You have blind spots as well.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And

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<v Rachael Loney>Mm-hmm.

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<v Taylor Perkins>will see past your triggers, your blind spots will be illuminated and we can expand together.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It's funny because everybody wants the inclusion, everybody wants the, like, let's hold space for everything until they remember that everything means everything.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And that means a lot of these different groups that you do not wanna hold space for.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You look at even like the conflicts that are going on right now, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>And you see so much evil that's going on in the world and we need to overcome that.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Absolutely we do need to.

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<v Taylor Perkins>But also those people are still expressions of divinity, incredibly asleep, incredibly ignorant, doing evil things.

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<v Taylor Perkins>I'm not bypassing what they're doing, but if we're holding space for everything, if all separation is illusion, that means they.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Star, an expression that comes from human consciousness.

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<v Taylor Perkins>There is a reason why this is happening.

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<v Taylor Perkins>We can look at it, we can hold space for it and we can expand past it, but it sure is fun to play the game of illusion where all the good is in me, the bad is outside of me.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Here's where everybody is dumb, and you know, just keep playing that game of divisiveness.

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<v Rachael Loney>I know, I know.

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<v Rachael Loney>It's so true.

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<v Rachael Loney>I was doing a reel one time and I was talking about you guys.

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<v Rachael Loney>This is on all sides, you know, because.

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<v Taylor Perkins>percent.

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<v Rachael Loney>I would say I tend to be more left-leaning, but I'm like, even for us, especially who claim to be so open-minded, we're open-minded until we meet someone who's a conservative and then it's like, you know, hatred and anger and the same thing from the other side.

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<v Rachael Loney>So it's like all just, just chill and listen.

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<v Taylor Perkins>A hundred percent.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>talked a

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<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>like seeking to understand, not seeking to win.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>And

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<v Taylor Perkins>Totally.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>really big mindset shift because it's tempting.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>I mean, we reached out to you when we were getting all that hate just analyzing the origins of a scripture and pointing to perhaps an alternative

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>that didn't mean that women should just shut up and stay in the

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>forbid.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>And it was like men came out of the woodwork just to prove to us how wrong we were.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>And it was

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah,

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<v Jaisa Engasser>to just fight back.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>And it like brought up so much, emotion and vulnerability

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<v Taylor Perkins>totally.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>and I, and we kind of sat with it and we were like, what if we responded with love?

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah,

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<v Jaisa Engasser>Like, let's just

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<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

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<v Jaisa Engasser>And it was nuts what happened.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>And people were like, oh wow.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>Uh, thanks for responding.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>Uh, actually, you know, like

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<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>really caught them off guard, but the

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<v Taylor Perkins>yeah.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>us is, it felt really good to be

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<v Taylor Perkins>Totally.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>let's just continue to be the example.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>We didn't respond to the ones that were like completely unhinged or were just spewing hates.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>But the ones that just had a very strong alternative opinion, but it felt like that was anchored in some type of evidence that they had.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>was worth understanding where they were coming from or at least keeping space for that.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>That was sort of our

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah,

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<v Jaisa Engasser>like growing up.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>Super Christian, Rachel, when we first started this, Rachel's like, my biggest fear is that somebody's gonna tell me I'm gonna go to hell.

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<v Jaisa Engasser>And then like many people told her she was

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<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It's, it's, it's one of those things where it's like, even just the doctrine of hell is modern, Jesus did not teach this doctrine of eternal damnation.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It is not even found in the scripture.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It came from interpretation afterwards.

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<v Taylor Perkins>That was very obviously to be used as a control mechanism.

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Section two, The Return of the Feminine and Divine Union here Taylor opens up about the Magdalene frequency and the suppression of the sacred feminine.

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This is a conversation about reclaiming wholeness through divine union, both within and in partnership.

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<v Taylor Perkins>when I was kind of like deconstructing, which, I have to put it out there like I was saying, Yeshua is my dude.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Like he is the man.

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<v Taylor Perkins>He is the guy, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>And I believe his story is just as much about him and Mary as it is about him.

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<v Taylor Perkins>These Christ consciousness frequencies and Magdalene frequencies are very real things.

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<v Taylor Perkins>They are a frequency and a vibration.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You look at God being the one and from the one came two, right.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Duality.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And obviously all of us, the first path is to find sovereignty within oneself to kind of balance the masculine and the feminine to, um.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Take become that infinite well of energy where you do not need anything from anyone outside of you, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>Where it's like you don't need validation, you don't need confirmation.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It is all self sourced.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Once you bring that unity within you, the next path is, what some people would call high risk gamos, but it's divine union and it is a balanced masculine that has controlled his vessel and a balanced feminine.

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<v Taylor Perkins>They come together and it's one of the most spiritual things that you can do.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Bringing the two together to create the one, it is incredible.

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<v Taylor Perkins>I truly believe this is like a big thing that's coming back in a big way right now is some of these ancient things that have been suppressed.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Because when the bounce masculine, bounce feminine come together, um, a lot of power comes to that and there's a lot of frequency that you like anchor into this plane.

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<v Taylor Perkins>But it's so funny.

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<v Taylor Perkins>It is crazy how the story has been changed to, you know, Mary was a prostitute and I'm like some prostitute that even with all the suppression, she was the first person that she appeared to after his resurrection, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>You look at like some of the, Tical texts, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>The Gospel of Mary where it talks about her being the chief apostle, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>And everyone's like, Hey, there's things that Jesus taught you that he didn't teach the rest of us.

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<v Taylor Perkins>What were they right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>And absolutely insane that like the meat and potatoes for everything that has been recovered of the Gospel of Mary is missing.

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<v Taylor Perkins>You might get a little bit at the beginning, the meat and potatoes are gone, and then you get like the end where they're like, why would a woman have this?

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Section three, Christ Consciousness and Religious deconstruction.

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In this section, we explore Christ as a frequency of love rather than a religious label.

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Taylor shares how unlearning fear-based beliefs opened up space for truth, unity, and deep reverence for Jesus beyond doctrine.

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<v Taylor Perkins>So I grew up Mormon which is like, you know, a super interesting form of Christianity.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And so I definitely know what it's like to grow up with a very specific programming within Mormonism, right?

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<v Taylor Perkins>They believe that they have a living prophet apostles.

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<v Taylor Perkins>And so everything is like, we have the truth.

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<v Taylor Perkins>We have the fullness of the truth.

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<v Taylor Perkins>We are the only ones that interpret scripture correctly.

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<v Taylor Perkins>Everything outside of us.

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<v Taylor Perkins>it is all Satan.

00:14:25.561 --> 00:14:26.491
<v Taylor Perkins>Deceiving you.

00:14:26.581 --> 00:14:27.241
<v Taylor Perkins>Tricking you.

00:14:27.241 --> 00:14:28.951
<v Taylor Perkins>If I don't understand it, it's Satan.

00:14:29.201 --> 00:14:31.031
<v Taylor Perkins>People get so triggered

00:14:31.230 --> 00:14:31.521
<v Jaisa Engasser>Yeah.

00:14:31.871 --> 00:14:39.610
<v Taylor Perkins>you turn to the Bible and you talk about some of these things where it's like, Hey, here's how passages have changed, or let's look at a different perspective.

00:14:39.791 --> 00:14:49.491
<v Taylor Perkins>And there's just so much fear that is involved I think it's because obviously we're conditioned to, if you're not living it to the fullest, if you don't accept Christ right, you can go to hell.

00:14:50.076 --> 00:14:50.616
<v Rachael Loney>Mm-hmm.

00:14:50.811 --> 00:14:54.860
<v Taylor Perkins>if I even begin to question anything, am I questioning Jesus?

00:14:55.161 --> 00:14:57.171
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, oh, does that open my heart?

00:14:57.321 --> 00:15:00.201
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, or do I reject the gospel or whatever.

00:15:01.041 --> 00:15:01.821
<v Taylor Perkins>just, it's insane.

00:15:01.850 --> 00:15:05.031
<v Taylor Perkins>'cause you can present so much evidence.

00:15:05.406 --> 00:15:11.556
<v Taylor Perkins>You can present evidence that it's like, Hey, isn't this so much more aligned with what, you know, Jesus would say?

00:15:11.975 --> 00:15:17.136
<v Taylor Perkins>But just like the fear that is in people's hearts to immediately strike it down, reject it.

00:15:17.136 --> 00:15:20.286
<v Taylor Perkins>Like, no, no, no, this is not what my pastor said.

00:15:20.286 --> 00:15:21.886
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, you are wrong.

00:15:21.886 --> 00:15:23.276
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, You're safe.

00:15:23.605 --> 00:15:24.506
<v Taylor Perkins>It's okay.

00:15:24.506 --> 00:15:25.706
<v Taylor Perkins>God loves you.

00:15:26.036 --> 00:15:27.266
<v Taylor Perkins>Like you're all good.

00:15:27.696 --> 00:15:29.046
<v Taylor Perkins>Let's explore this.

00:15:29.046 --> 00:15:33.096
<v Taylor Perkins>It's gonna be okay if you explore like you're not going to the bad place.

00:15:33.196 --> 00:15:42.096
<v Taylor Perkins>I remember one of the biggest things that hit me within my deconstruction was a confirmation that a lot of people use for, here's why my religion is the correct religion.

00:15:42.485 --> 00:15:45.756
<v Taylor Perkins>The two biggest religions in the world are Christianity and Islam.

00:15:46.730 --> 00:15:50.931
<v Taylor Perkins>Um, and you know, it's like there's a lot of like, I guess like confirmation bias, right?

00:15:50.931 --> 00:15:54.441
<v Taylor Perkins>Because it's just like if Christianity was wrong, then why are there so many Christians?

00:15:54.441 --> 00:15:56.571
<v Taylor Perkins>Why do so many people have this testimony?

00:15:56.850 --> 00:15:57.841
<v Taylor Perkins>And Islam, right?

00:15:57.841 --> 00:15:58.921
<v Taylor Perkins>They say the same thing.

00:15:59.011 --> 00:16:02.341
<v Taylor Perkins>If Islam is wrong, why are there billions of people that follow it?

00:16:02.341 --> 00:16:03.721
<v Taylor Perkins>Why have we gotten this confirmation?

00:16:04.711 --> 00:16:11.671
<v Taylor Perkins>I don't think it's an accident that the two largest religions in the world are the two religions that tell you if you're wrong, you're going to hell.

00:16:11.911 --> 00:16:14.701
<v Taylor Perkins>Like that fear-based motivation very

00:16:14.881 --> 00:16:14.941
<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

00:16:15.061 --> 00:16:15.360
<v Taylor Perkins>right?

00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:19.741
<v Taylor Perkins>You look at Hinduism or Buddhism and they're like, you can believe whatever you wanna believe.

00:16:19.821 --> 00:16:28.801
<v Taylor Perkins>You can be Buddhist and Christian and they're just like, here's these practices that we can do to teach you to, detach from suffering or get control of your mind.

00:16:28.801 --> 00:16:31.471
<v Taylor Perkins>Of course that's not gonna grow as quickly as the religion.

00:16:31.471 --> 00:16:36.841
<v Taylor Perkins>That's like, the truth, and if you're wrong about this, you're going to hell forever, right?

00:16:37.100 --> 00:16:37.391
<v Rachael Loney>Yeah,

00:16:37.501 --> 00:16:40.591
<v Taylor Perkins>And so, yeah, it's that fear-based conditioning.

00:16:40.591 --> 00:16:43.591
<v Taylor Perkins>It's very strong, very much so.

00:16:43.591 --> 00:16:44.850
<v Taylor Perkins>Society is still in it.

00:16:44.850 --> 00:16:54.600
<v Taylor Perkins>You look at the orchestrated chaos that we're living in right now, it is by design to keep people in fear because it is so much easier to control people in fear.

00:16:55.381 --> 00:16:56.341
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's just sad.

00:16:56.341 --> 00:16:59.610
<v Taylor Perkins>It's sad because it's, there's so much love, there's so much goodness.

00:16:59.610 --> 00:17:01.831
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like you don't need to be afraid of everything.

00:17:01.831 --> 00:17:02.791
<v Taylor Perkins>It's okay.

00:17:02.971 --> 00:17:03.600
<v Taylor Perkins>It's okay.

00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:09.391
<v Taylor Perkins>You can explore and God isn't gonna be mad at you or cast you out, you know, for forever.

00:17:09.391 --> 00:17:16.260
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like Jesus literally talks about leaving the 99 to go get the one, and it's like, feel free to explore.

00:17:16.371 --> 00:17:18.230
<v Taylor Perkins>Question what you believe.

00:17:18.230 --> 00:17:22.671
<v Taylor Perkins>God is there with you, and if you're wrong, he'll let you know.

00:17:22.820 --> 00:17:23.300
<v Taylor Perkins>You know?

00:17:23.350 --> 00:17:24.790
<v Taylor Perkins>You're totally safe.

00:17:24.790 --> 00:17:26.711
<v Taylor Perkins>He loves you, she loves you.

00:17:26.830 --> 00:17:27.760
<v Taylor Perkins>It loves you.

00:17:27.820 --> 00:17:29.290
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, like explore,

00:17:30.161 --> 00:17:32.441
<v Jaisa Engasser>What I really struggled with was.

00:17:32.740 --> 00:17:35.201
<v Jaisa Engasser>The whole analogy of God, our father

00:17:35.756 --> 00:17:36.445
<v Rachael Loney>And.

00:17:36.560 --> 00:17:38.181
<v Jaisa Engasser>My parents, the church I grew up in,

00:17:38.215 --> 00:17:38.506
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

00:17:38.691 --> 00:17:42.141
<v Jaisa Engasser>articulating God, being, you know, we are his children.

00:17:42.141 --> 00:17:43.401
<v Jaisa Engasser>He loves us.

00:17:43.580 --> 00:17:47.240
<v Jaisa Engasser>And yet that same father or parent would

00:17:47.490 --> 00:17:49.205
<v Rachael Loney>if the children out

00:17:49.401 --> 00:17:50.211
<v Jaisa Engasser>Now I

00:17:50.310 --> 00:17:50.631
<v Rachael Loney>I can

00:17:50.661 --> 00:17:52.100
<v Jaisa Engasser>I stopped believing in

00:17:52.171 --> 00:17:52.990
<v Rachael Loney>out because

00:17:53.451 --> 00:17:54.381
<v Jaisa Engasser>I had children

00:17:54.730 --> 00:17:55.350
<v Rachael Loney>in and I,

00:17:55.520 --> 00:17:55.911
<v Taylor Perkins>no way.

00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:56.691
<v Jaisa Engasser>there's no way,

00:17:56.840 --> 00:17:56.842
<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah,

00:17:56.961 --> 00:17:57.411
<v Jaisa Engasser>no way

00:17:57.546 --> 00:17:57.836
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

00:17:57.951 --> 00:17:58.760
<v Jaisa Engasser>kids could do.

00:17:58.760 --> 00:18:00.830
<v Jaisa Engasser>And listen, I got three insane boys.

00:18:00.830 --> 00:18:02.151
<v Jaisa Engasser>They drive me bombers every day.

00:18:02.151 --> 00:18:02.152
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:04.131
<v Jaisa Engasser>like there's zero.

00:18:04.310 --> 00:18:04.431
<v Jaisa Engasser>They

00:18:04.445 --> 00:18:04.735
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

00:18:04.850 --> 00:18:05.840
<v Jaisa Engasser>anything,

00:18:06.225 --> 00:18:06.516
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

00:18:06.740 --> 00:18:07.820
<v Jaisa Engasser>And I would still

00:18:08.066 --> 00:18:08.355
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah.

00:18:08.600 --> 00:18:11.421
<v Jaisa Engasser>them, love them, and see the, the good in them.

00:18:11.810 --> 00:18:12.080
<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

00:18:12.110 --> 00:18:22.790
<v Jaisa Engasser>I only imagine, I still feel this, I was taught this, but I still feel it intrinsically that God's love for us is so much more than we could ever comprehend, even of our love for our own children.

00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:23.240
<v Jaisa Engasser>So

00:18:23.421 --> 00:18:23.661
<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah,

00:18:23.691 --> 00:18:24.951
<v Jaisa Engasser>that be like, it

00:18:25.191 --> 00:18:25.610
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

00:18:25.610 --> 00:18:25.881
<v Jaisa Engasser>doesn't

00:18:25.971 --> 00:18:26.330
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

00:18:26.391 --> 00:18:27.141
<v Jaisa Engasser>me anymore.

00:18:27.141 --> 00:18:27.530
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah.

00:18:27.740 --> 00:18:28.191
<v Taylor Perkins>Totally.

00:18:28.191 --> 00:18:29.631
<v Jaisa Engasser>but I have a question and I know

00:18:29.811 --> 00:18:30.471
<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah,

00:18:30.561 --> 00:18:30.621
<v Jaisa Engasser>too.

00:18:30.831 --> 00:18:33.530
<v Jaisa Engasser>How did you go from Mormon

00:18:34.071 --> 00:18:34.401
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah,

00:18:34.461 --> 00:18:34.851
<v Jaisa Engasser>are now?

00:18:34.851 --> 00:18:36.471
<v Jaisa Engasser>Like I just, like we wanna hear your

00:18:36.681 --> 00:18:39.891
<v Taylor Perkins>yeah, yeah,

00:18:40.191 --> 00:18:40.411
<v Rachael Loney>out.

00:18:41.561 --> 00:18:44.861
<v Taylor Perkins>So my Mormon upbringing was definitely by design.

00:18:45.020 --> 00:18:46.311
<v Taylor Perkins>I understand that now.

00:18:46.691 --> 00:18:57.770
<v Taylor Perkins>But I have always kind of had this, um, charisma and I guess magnetism and the Mormon church is the very hierarchical, patriarchal system, right?

00:18:57.770 --> 00:18:59.811
<v Taylor Perkins>And so it rewards charismatic men.

00:19:00.230 --> 00:19:06.671
<v Taylor Perkins>And so, um, they have hierarchies for children, you know, the teenagers, the adults and everything.

00:19:06.671 --> 00:19:09.191
<v Taylor Perkins>And I was always put into these leadership positions.

00:19:09.191 --> 00:19:18.980
<v Taylor Perkins>And if you look at the spectrum within Mormonism, my family was way on the super orthodox, extremist side where it's everything to my mother.

00:19:19.191 --> 00:19:22.540
<v Taylor Perkins>Like the church is before everything else, right?

00:19:22.540 --> 00:19:26.831
<v Taylor Perkins>Like we would wake up every day, read our Bible, read the Book of Mormon, study it.

00:19:27.131 --> 00:19:29.301
<v Taylor Perkins>That was the primary, focus of life.

00:19:29.351 --> 00:19:31.240
<v Taylor Perkins>I had six brothers and sisters.

00:19:31.240 --> 00:19:32.441
<v Taylor Perkins>I was the second oldest.

00:19:32.441 --> 00:19:36.311
<v Taylor Perkins>My older brother has a very, very strong personality.

00:19:36.730 --> 00:19:38.801
<v Taylor Perkins>And he's 11 months older than I am.

00:19:39.040 --> 00:19:40.811
<v Taylor Perkins>And so we're like Irish twins.

00:19:41.141 --> 00:19:43.961
<v Taylor Perkins>And so I came in and I'm more of the softer personality.

00:19:43.961 --> 00:19:46.480
<v Taylor Perkins>The people please are like, Hey, it's all good, you know?

00:19:47.591 --> 00:19:54.571
<v Taylor Perkins>what I did as um, a child, a teenager, um, and as an adult was I was a chameleon, right?

00:19:54.671 --> 00:19:56.921
<v Taylor Perkins>I could play whatever role you want me to play.

00:19:57.010 --> 00:19:58.141
<v Taylor Perkins>And everybody loved me.

00:19:58.171 --> 00:20:01.770
<v Taylor Perkins>'cause I'm like, I know exactly what you want from me and I'll just play that role, you know?

00:20:02.071 --> 00:20:06.571
<v Taylor Perkins>And so, um, I always had these leadership positions, but I really struggled with leadership.

00:20:06.601 --> 00:20:07.711
<v Taylor Perkins>I just didn't like it.

00:20:07.711 --> 00:20:08.881
<v Taylor Perkins>It doesn't sit well with me.

00:20:08.931 --> 00:20:19.431
<v Taylor Perkins>There's a big energy within the Mormon church of if you are a righteous person and if you do good things, God will bless you abundantly, right?

00:20:19.790 --> 00:20:21.561
<v Taylor Perkins>And so it's very, cause and effect.

00:20:22.040 --> 00:20:24.661
<v Taylor Perkins>And so, I got married young.

00:20:24.871 --> 00:20:26.131
<v Taylor Perkins>We had kids.

00:20:26.490 --> 00:20:30.651
<v Taylor Perkins>I made a ton of money in my twenties, like by my mid twenties.

00:20:31.270 --> 00:20:34.181
<v Taylor Perkins>We were millionaires, you know, because my background's finance.

00:20:34.901 --> 00:20:36.851
<v Taylor Perkins>so I would just invest for myself and stuff.

00:20:36.851 --> 00:20:40.740
<v Taylor Perkins>And we were doing everything where I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm being blessed.

00:20:41.161 --> 00:20:43.290
<v Taylor Perkins>And I always had this heart.

00:20:44.250 --> 00:20:49.621
<v Taylor Perkins>In me where it's like I'm supposed to do something big, I want to have an impact on the world.

00:20:49.621 --> 00:20:51.841
<v Taylor Perkins>I want to turn people to Jesus.

00:20:51.841 --> 00:20:52.980
<v Taylor Perkins>There's so much chaos.

00:20:53.401 --> 00:20:59.790
<v Taylor Perkins>So can I show Jesus that I love him so much by, you know, shining a light on these beautiful things?

00:21:00.571 --> 00:21:11.931
<v Taylor Perkins>And so, um, I decided I wanted to build this, tech company essentially to teach people how to invest, because social media is a terrible place it's the same thing with like spirituality right now.

00:21:12.111 --> 00:21:13.401
<v Taylor Perkins>And it absolutely drives me nuts.

00:21:13.401 --> 00:21:19.986
<v Taylor Perkins>You have these people with massive platforms who should not be giving advice, who do not embody what they're talking about.

00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:23.301
<v Taylor Perkins>And so it's the blind leading the blind, right?

00:21:23.510 --> 00:21:25.881
<v Taylor Perkins>But the thing is, they'll use spiritual jargon.

00:21:25.881 --> 00:21:28.941
<v Taylor Perkins>They'll use the language, they'll perform really well.

00:21:29.681 --> 00:21:33.551
<v Taylor Perkins>so people that aren't tuned in to their, discernment?

00:21:33.851 --> 00:21:36.941
<v Taylor Perkins>They'll see it and they're just like, wow, look how many lights this has.

00:21:36.941 --> 00:21:37.901
<v Taylor Perkins>This is really good.

00:21:37.901 --> 00:21:38.321
<v Taylor Perkins>You know?

00:21:38.691 --> 00:21:40.161
<v Taylor Perkins>It's the same thing with the financial space.

00:21:40.161 --> 00:21:42.381
<v Taylor Perkins>You have people who know what they're talking about and people who don't.

00:21:42.711 --> 00:21:44.540
<v Taylor Perkins>And so I was like, let's build this company.

00:21:44.811 --> 00:21:53.901
<v Taylor Perkins>We will take in all these data points and basically every single person on this planet, whether you have no opportunity or were born into the richest family.

00:21:53.901 --> 00:21:59.121
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like if you have a cell phone, I can teach you how to be successful at investing money in the market.

00:21:59.451 --> 00:22:04.740
<v Taylor Perkins>And you know, it doesn't matter what school you went to, we can give you better than a finance degree, right?

00:22:04.951 --> 00:22:06.780
<v Taylor Perkins>By connecting you with these amazing teachers.

00:22:07.121 --> 00:22:08.260
<v Taylor Perkins>So it was a cool idea.

00:22:08.290 --> 00:22:09.641
<v Taylor Perkins>We raised millions of dollars.

00:22:09.641 --> 00:22:14.051
<v Taylor Perkins>We had all these good things that were happening everything went wrong.

00:22:14.381 --> 00:22:20.411
<v Taylor Perkins>And like it went wrong where it felt like, is this happening on purpose?

00:22:20.411 --> 00:22:21.881
<v Taylor Perkins>Nothing is going right.

00:22:21.931 --> 00:22:24.091
<v Taylor Perkins>We lost everything in the company.

00:22:24.451 --> 00:22:27.211
<v Taylor Perkins>I lost my money because I was over leveraged.

00:22:27.211 --> 00:22:39.711
<v Taylor Perkins>I was trying to do this because in my head it was how I'm gonna show Jesus I love him so much is by teaching people these important principles so that they can elevate themselves out of poverty and you know, become these lights in the world.

00:22:40.701 --> 00:22:43.701
<v Taylor Perkins>And once things started going bad, I was just like.

00:22:44.101 --> 00:22:45.661
<v Taylor Perkins>Clearly it's because I'm a bad person.

00:22:45.661 --> 00:22:46.651
<v Taylor Perkins>I've fallen from grace.

00:22:46.651 --> 00:22:47.821
<v Taylor Perkins>God isn't happy with me.

00:22:47.821 --> 00:23:01.961
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, I didn't live up to my potential and I became super depressed where I've never had a depressive episode, but every single day,'cause this was years working on this company, um, every single day I was waking up, being like, I wanna kill myself.

00:23:02.010 --> 00:23:02.851
<v Taylor Perkins>What am I doing?

00:23:02.851 --> 00:23:04.081
<v Taylor Perkins>I can't believe I've failed.

00:23:05.321 --> 00:23:09.461
<v Taylor Perkins>I had children, I had a wife and she could tell that something was wrong.

00:23:09.561 --> 00:23:13.311
Section four, ayahuasca Ego Death and Meeting.

00:23:13.311 --> 00:23:13.760
God.

00:23:14.421 --> 00:23:17.181
Taylor shares the turning point that changed everything.

00:23:17.601 --> 00:23:23.540
An intense plant medicine journey that stripped away old belief systems and revealed a love beyond comprehension.

00:23:24.111 --> 00:23:27.530
This part is raw, powerful, and unforgettable.

00:23:29.051 --> 00:23:37.211
<v Taylor Perkins>I had been studying for probably six years about, psilocybin in Ayahuasca and some of these different things.

00:23:37.631 --> 00:23:46.121
<v Taylor Perkins>And I knew that they had just these incredible results of healing people that had, extreme addictions, depression, different things like that.

00:23:46.510 --> 00:23:55.121
<v Taylor Perkins>So the reason why I had never done ayahuasca or any of these things was because I was still very much so in my Mormon roots and I'm like, this is Satan.

00:23:55.391 --> 00:24:04.000
<v Taylor Perkins>Like Satan uses these things and of course Satan can perform miracles pull you into illusion to pull you from God, right?

00:24:04.211 --> 00:24:12.490
<v Taylor Perkins>Literally, ironically, the things that they said about Jesus when he would go perform miracles and they're like, he's doing this by the power of the devil, right?

00:24:12.490 --> 00:24:20.530
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like the same thing that the church does right now to anything outside of it where it's like the devil's doing it, you know, and you're like the devil's healing people.

00:24:20.530 --> 00:24:28.451
<v Taylor Perkins>And so things just kind of like really worked out where, um, found this group, they were serving ayahuasca and I was like, I have to do something.

00:24:28.451 --> 00:24:30.280
<v Taylor Perkins>'cause I cannot get out of this mindset.

00:24:30.311 --> 00:24:33.131
<v Taylor Perkins>I talked to my wife and she was just like, yeah, you need to go.

00:24:33.131 --> 00:24:34.571
<v Taylor Perkins>Which I was very shocked at.

00:24:34.622 --> 00:24:38.999
<v Taylor Perkins>And, long story short, went, was totally freaked out.

00:24:38.999 --> 00:24:45.229
<v Taylor Perkins>I fasted for seven days before I went where I was just like, God, if this is something bad, I need you to protect me.

00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:47.699
<v Taylor Perkins>I do not want to lose my soul.

00:24:48.028 --> 00:24:50.609
<v Taylor Perkins>I do not wanna be pulled into anything Satanic.

00:24:50.662 --> 00:24:55.122
<v Taylor Perkins>I don't know if you guys have ever looked into it all but they were like, we recommend you take two cups.

00:24:55.451 --> 00:24:56.771
<v Taylor Perkins>They did the whole ceremony.

00:24:57.132 --> 00:24:59.471
<v Taylor Perkins>Um, it was very different than what I was used to.

00:24:59.652 --> 00:25:04.152
<v Taylor Perkins>I was a little bit uncomfortable, but also felt very safe took two cups.

00:25:04.152 --> 00:25:05.142
<v Taylor Perkins>Nothing was happening.

00:25:05.532 --> 00:25:08.682
<v Taylor Perkins>The person serving it was like, Hey, I feel like you need to take more.

00:25:08.682 --> 00:25:09.822
<v Taylor Perkins>And I'm like, yeah, definitely.

00:25:09.822 --> 00:25:12.282
<v Taylor Perkins>And so I took another two cups, nothing was happening.

00:25:12.961 --> 00:25:14.912
<v Taylor Perkins>And I ended up taking five cups.

00:25:15.001 --> 00:25:17.961
<v Taylor Perkins>And so, for ayahuasca, they usually start at night.

00:25:19.282 --> 00:25:22.932
<v Taylor Perkins>and it's usually like nine or 10 o'clock and you'll go till one or two in the morning.

00:25:23.292 --> 00:25:27.842
<v Taylor Perkins>But I was in it from 10 o'clock till 10:00 AM the next morning.

00:25:28.442 --> 00:25:31.471
<v Taylor Perkins>And basically I was like, this isn't working.

00:25:31.471 --> 00:25:33.812
<v Taylor Perkins>And I'm like, okay, God must be protecting me.

00:25:34.011 --> 00:25:36.112
<v Taylor Perkins>I wasn't supposed to, have this experience.

00:25:37.042 --> 00:25:40.162
<v Taylor Perkins>And next thing I knew, I kind of woke up in a different world.

00:25:40.987 --> 00:25:50.797
<v Taylor Perkins>What I always tell people, so much happened in this experience, but the big core element was I was sitting there and I felt this presence above me.

00:25:51.067 --> 00:25:53.437
<v Taylor Perkins>And it was like, Taylor, it's time to look up.

00:25:53.767 --> 00:25:56.467
<v Taylor Perkins>And I was like, no, ready.

00:25:56.646 --> 00:25:59.707
<v Taylor Perkins>And it was like, you're ready, it's time.

00:25:59.707 --> 00:26:01.626
<v Taylor Perkins>And I was like, Nope, I'm not doing it.

00:26:01.626 --> 00:26:03.576
<v Taylor Perkins>And for an hour I just sat there.

00:26:03.576 --> 00:26:04.386
<v Taylor Perkins>This is too much.

00:26:04.567 --> 00:26:04.987
<v Taylor Perkins>It's too

00:26:05.241 --> 00:26:05.692
<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

00:26:05.947 --> 00:26:06.126
<v Taylor Perkins>it.

00:26:06.157 --> 00:26:06.846
<v Taylor Perkins>It's too much.

00:26:07.297 --> 00:26:11.197
<v Taylor Perkins>And the um, icaro came over'cause I just kept repeating.

00:26:11.197 --> 00:26:11.797
<v Taylor Perkins>I'm not doing it.

00:26:11.826 --> 00:26:12.636
<v Taylor Perkins>No, no, no.

00:26:12.787 --> 00:26:13.896
<v Taylor Perkins>And he's like, are you okay?

00:26:13.896 --> 00:26:15.067
<v Taylor Perkins>And I'm like, I'm not looking up.

00:26:15.067 --> 00:26:16.386
<v Taylor Perkins>And he was just like, oh, okay.

00:26:16.427 --> 00:26:18.237
<v Taylor Perkins>And kind of let me be.

00:26:18.596 --> 00:26:22.586
<v Taylor Perkins>And then finally I was like, okay.

00:26:22.586 --> 00:26:28.836
<v Taylor Perkins>And when I looked up, it was just like, Hey, you have been told who and what God is.

00:26:29.616 --> 00:26:32.167
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's just like, what?

00:26:32.467 --> 00:26:43.366
<v Taylor Perkins>And then my mind was just completely opened and I saw in infinite forms, you know, you can't put it into words like in the Bible where it's like God is beyond comprehension, it's beyond explanation.

00:26:43.366 --> 00:26:49.437
<v Taylor Perkins>I experienced it where it just blew all of my foundational way it was just like, oh my.

00:26:49.812 --> 00:26:54.072
<v Taylor Perkins>God, everything I had been taught, it's just this is so wrong, you know?

00:26:54.471 --> 00:26:57.442
<v Taylor Perkins>I experienced, the divine, masculine, divine feminine.

00:26:57.442 --> 00:27:04.402
<v Taylor Perkins>I was just like, oh my goodness, they have removed her from everything, this heavenly mother, right?

00:27:04.842 --> 00:27:15.192
<v Taylor Perkins>And so that was a huge piece where basically it was like, Hey, in your life thus far has been perfectly designed, so you're totally okay.

00:27:15.461 --> 00:27:18.642
<v Taylor Perkins>You were born into this box because it was very necessary for you.

00:27:18.642 --> 00:27:22.542
<v Taylor Perkins>You needed to be into, in this bubble and be around these people.

00:27:22.842 --> 00:27:25.032
<v Taylor Perkins>Here's the lessons that you're supposed to learn from it.

00:27:25.332 --> 00:27:31.422
<v Taylor Perkins>Here's what you need to integrate and start your journey of healing because there are things that you need to do.

00:27:31.422 --> 00:27:36.701
<v Taylor Perkins>And I saw the things that I was supposed to do, who I was supposed to be, where it's like, you're not any of this.

00:27:37.586 --> 00:27:39.717
<v Taylor Perkins>is who you are, here's what you came to do.

00:27:40.106 --> 00:27:47.787
<v Taylor Perkins>And then there was a big piece of the journey where I went into the bathroom and I was just looking at myself in the mirror and there was so much hatred.

00:27:47.997 --> 00:27:49.076
<v Taylor Perkins>I was like, I hate you.

00:27:49.177 --> 00:27:49.356
<v Taylor Perkins>I hate you.

00:27:50.146 --> 00:27:51.677
<v Taylor Perkins>I do not like this guy.

00:27:52.177 --> 00:28:04.207
<v Taylor Perkins>It was just all of these things where I realized how much I had been conditioned to think that I had to suffer, that I had to hate myself, that I not view myself as good otherwise.

00:28:04.237 --> 00:28:07.177
<v Taylor Perkins>It's pride, it's a sin, you know, all these different things.

00:28:08.356 --> 00:28:11.777
<v Taylor Perkins>Breaking down and crying because obviously I'm not a perfect human being.

00:28:11.777 --> 00:28:25.396
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, like a huge thing for me was, um, how I learned to regulate my nervous system and what I would do to pull away from a chaotic environment from the age of 10 was look at pornography and masturbate.

00:28:25.396 --> 00:28:28.896
<v Taylor Perkins>And it had always been a thing that I would turn to right.

00:28:28.896 --> 00:28:33.797
<v Taylor Perkins>And as cell phones became more accessible, I would do amazing things and then in the shadow I would turn to this.

00:28:33.797 --> 00:28:35.057
<v Taylor Perkins>And so I would hate myself.

00:28:35.057 --> 00:28:37.366
<v Taylor Perkins>'cause it's like, you're not a good person, you're so bad,.

00:28:37.447 --> 00:28:44.967
<v Taylor Perkins>At that point in Ayahuasca, I was crying and I looked up, again, and felt, you know, the divine mother, divine father.

00:28:44.967 --> 00:28:46.616
<v Taylor Perkins>And it was just like, please forgive me.

00:28:46.616 --> 00:28:48.747
<v Taylor Perkins>I'm so sorry for these things that I do.

00:28:49.767 --> 00:28:55.917
<v Taylor Perkins>I was just absorbed into this infinite beauty I was like, oh my God, this is God.

00:28:55.917 --> 00:28:56.967
<v Taylor Perkins>Like, this is amazing.

00:28:56.967 --> 00:28:58.047
<v Taylor Perkins>I feel so much love.

00:28:58.047 --> 00:29:01.227
<v Taylor Perkins>There's so much beauty, there's so much kindness, there's so much purity.

00:29:01.366 --> 00:29:03.317
<v Taylor Perkins>And I was like, forgive me, you know?

00:29:03.317 --> 00:29:06.417
<v Taylor Perkins>And it was basically like, what do you think you're experiencing right now?

00:29:06.866 --> 00:29:09.207
<v Taylor Perkins>And I'm like, heaven, this is divine bliss.

00:29:09.207 --> 00:29:10.707
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, no, this is you.

00:29:10.987 --> 00:29:12.517
<v Taylor Perkins>This is you and your fullness.

00:29:12.757 --> 00:29:16.477
<v Taylor Perkins>Asking for forgiveness is the same as asking yourself for forgiveness.

00:29:16.477 --> 00:29:17.767
<v Taylor Perkins>So will you forgive yourself?

00:29:17.797 --> 00:29:17.917
<v Taylor Perkins>You're

00:29:17.967 --> 00:29:18.636
<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

00:29:18.826 --> 00:29:19.846
<v Taylor Perkins>Creating this distance.

00:29:19.846 --> 00:29:38.616
<v Taylor Perkins>And so from there it was amazing because all these things these sins and different things that had been so stuck to me for so long, what I saw after Ayahuasca and as I started this healing journey and learning to love myself, unconditionally for where I was at and all this is I wouldn't have to fight against these things.

00:29:38.616 --> 00:29:40.237
<v Taylor Perkins>They just naturally fell away.

00:29:40.407 --> 00:29:46.047
<v Taylor Perkins>They just weren't attached because it's like the love created this container where, I don't need that anymore.

00:29:46.197 --> 00:29:47.427
<v Taylor Perkins>It doesn't serve me anymore.

00:29:47.547 --> 00:29:49.856
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's not this like, I'm better than that, or whatever.

00:29:49.856 --> 00:29:54.747
<v Taylor Perkins>It's just like, it naturally, like the way I describe it is you get into a hot air balloon.

00:29:55.586 --> 00:30:01.457
<v Taylor Perkins>And you have all these things that tether you down, but it's the more love you feel, the more intense the flame is.

00:30:02.177 --> 00:30:05.896
<v Taylor Perkins>so you start ascending higher and higher and eventually the tethers just kind of fall away.

00:30:05.896 --> 00:30:07.547
<v Taylor Perkins>You don't need to fight with the tethers or anything.

00:30:07.547 --> 00:30:08.537
<v Taylor Perkins>They kind of fell off.

00:30:08.537 --> 00:30:11.927
<v Taylor Perkins>And then one day it was just like, oh my God, I healed myself.

00:30:12.116 --> 00:30:12.807
<v Taylor Perkins>That's amazing.

00:30:12.807 --> 00:30:16.977
<v Taylor Perkins>I wasn't even trying to, it was just, I accepted myself for where I was at.

00:30:17.027 --> 00:30:21.707
<v Taylor Perkins>From there it was an incredibly journey.

00:30:21.977 --> 00:30:25.646
<v Taylor Perkins>Incredibly intense because it's my entire foundation crumbled.

00:30:26.547 --> 00:30:28.437
<v Taylor Perkins>I had just experienced the divine.

00:30:28.437 --> 00:30:32.606
<v Taylor Perkins>I could not put it into words, people would be like, what was it?

00:30:32.606 --> 00:30:34.646
<v Taylor Perkins>Like, what is God like?

00:30:34.697 --> 00:30:37.487
<v Taylor Perkins>The word I kept using over and over, I'm like, it just is.

00:30:37.576 --> 00:30:38.146
<v Taylor Perkins>It is.

00:30:38.336 --> 00:30:40.047
<v Taylor Perkins>It is beyond, it's beyond purpose.

00:30:40.227 --> 00:30:41.307
<v Taylor Perkins>It's beyond reason.

00:30:41.336 --> 00:30:42.927
<v Taylor Perkins>It just, it is, it is.

00:30:42.927 --> 00:30:44.307
<v Taylor Perkins>And they're like, you sound insane.

00:30:44.307 --> 00:30:44.667
<v Taylor Perkins>You know?

00:30:45.537 --> 00:30:48.356
<v Taylor Perkins>and I'm like, I know, but if you experienced it, you would see it.

00:30:48.757 --> 00:31:01.636
<v Taylor Perkins>So for two years it, truly like the ref when, um, the video that I recently made talking about like, um, there's a refining fire and it can either be heaven or hell, but everybody's gonna go through that fire.

00:31:01.636 --> 00:31:04.096
<v Taylor Perkins>When they talk about hell, that's what it is.

00:31:04.096 --> 00:31:06.767
<v Taylor Perkins>It's the fire that purifies and burns away illusion.

00:31:06.767 --> 00:31:07.846
<v Taylor Perkins>It's not a punishment.

00:31:08.177 --> 00:31:12.207
<v Taylor Perkins>It is very much so,, a tool for growth and expansion.

00:31:12.836 --> 00:31:27.967
<v Taylor Perkins>And for two years after that, it was walking through the shadow of death, it was hell, it was, um, know, I went from being a millionaire and we, would have days, where I would trade in the market and we'd make 30 to$60,000 we were living in Puerto Rico.

00:31:28.307 --> 00:31:31.427
<v Taylor Perkins>I would work for an hour and then just go hang out with my kids at the beach.

00:31:32.027 --> 00:31:40.616
<v Taylor Perkins>And it switched to still trying to keep this company going, declaring bankruptcy, driving DoorDash, my wife's dad was dying of cancer.

00:31:40.616 --> 00:31:42.777
<v Taylor Perkins>So we came back to the states so that we could help out.

00:31:43.146 --> 00:32:01.957
<v Taylor Perkins>I would drive DoorDash from 2:00 PM to 2:00 AM a lot of times you would make like$10 an hour and I felt like such a failure as a man but that whole experience of having nothing you know, I would sit there and I would suffer and I'm like, I can't believe I'm making$10 an hour.

00:32:01.957 --> 00:32:02.437
<v Taylor Perkins>And I'm like.

00:32:03.261 --> 00:32:04.701
<v Taylor Perkins>Wait, why is this a bad thing?

00:32:04.751 --> 00:32:06.552
<v Taylor Perkins>Why do I attach this to my worth?

00:32:06.552 --> 00:32:06.822
<v Taylor Perkins>Right?

00:32:06.822 --> 00:32:15.372
<v Taylor Perkins>And so all of these lessons kind of came in where it burned away these illusions of like to be successful to be a success, right?

00:32:15.422 --> 00:32:17.822
<v Taylor Perkins>What my value of my time is, right?

00:32:17.852 --> 00:32:24.862
<v Taylor Perkins>Um, ayahuasca, I really wanted to meditate and I would kind of beat myself up because I'm like, I don't have enough time.

00:32:25.072 --> 00:32:27.112
<v Taylor Perkins>I can only meditate for like 30 minutes a day.

00:32:27.112 --> 00:32:34.062
<v Taylor Perkins>And if I was doing it for an hour or two hours, if I could just leave for a month and go do a silent retreat,, I could accomplish this so much faster, right?

00:32:34.481 --> 00:32:42.072
<v Taylor Perkins>And so it's like I had to go through this terrible time where finally it clicked where it's like, wait a second, life is a meditation.

00:32:42.912 --> 00:32:52.021
<v Taylor Perkins>All meditation is, is a way to connect yourself and center yourself so that you can really be aware of the meditation that life is.

00:32:52.021 --> 00:32:52.292
<v Taylor Perkins>You know?

00:32:52.292 --> 00:33:00.221
<v Taylor Perkins>And it doesn't matter if you're in a cave or driving DoorDash, you're gonna learn the lessons that you're supposed to learn if you're just paying attention, right?

00:33:00.221 --> 00:33:03.852
<v Taylor Perkins>But the toughest thing for me was nobody understood.

00:33:03.852 --> 00:33:10.902
<v Taylor Perkins>I didn't have a single person in my life that I could talk to about this that was just like, wow, dude, this resonates, you know?

00:33:11.122 --> 00:33:13.312
<v Taylor Perkins>Still to this day I love, I.

00:33:13.761 --> 00:33:16.491
<v Taylor Perkins>My parents, I'm so grateful for my parents.

00:33:16.491 --> 00:33:17.932
<v Taylor Perkins>They have played the best role.

00:33:17.932 --> 00:33:19.582
<v Taylor Perkins>They were the most amazing parents.

00:33:20.021 --> 00:33:28.481
<v Taylor Perkins>And my mom, she lives in so much fear and you know, it's like everything I talk about she thinks is a thousand percent Satan.

00:33:28.481 --> 00:33:28.842
<v Taylor Perkins>Right.

00:33:29.172 --> 00:33:37.302
<v Taylor Perkins>And for a while it made me wanna hit my head against the wall because, you know, when she had me, she's like, I've had the most spiritual experience when I've had you.

00:33:37.302 --> 00:33:46.271
<v Taylor Perkins>I just felt this feeling inside where God was like, this boy is going to lead so many people and he's gonna be such a leader.

00:33:46.511 --> 00:33:49.892
<v Taylor Perkins>But for her it was this context of in the church, right?

00:33:50.162 --> 00:33:55.382
<v Taylor Perkins>And so growing up in the church, because I had all these leadership positions, she's like, yep.

00:33:55.727 --> 00:33:58.287
<v Taylor Perkins>Taylor's doing it he is fulfilling his role.

00:33:58.586 --> 00:34:12.447
<v Taylor Perkins>Then when I completely left, it was me truly stepping into what she knew in her heart, but for her it was like he is gone to Satan and I need to pray for his soul.

00:34:12.447 --> 00:34:19.136
<v Taylor Perkins>And she thinks I can't handle the weight of who I'm supposed to be and this is why I've swung to the other side.

00:34:19.186 --> 00:34:27.257
<v Taylor Perkins>And that was really tough for me because I love my mother and I'm such a mama's boy and it's like, mom, I am the person you want me to be.

00:34:27.306 --> 00:34:28.326
<v Taylor Perkins>Open your eyes.

00:34:28.596 --> 00:34:31.266
<v Taylor Perkins>Just look, you know, you don't need to fear.

00:34:31.556 --> 00:34:31.846
<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

00:34:32.136 --> 00:34:32.646
<v Taylor Perkins>percent.

00:34:33.007 --> 00:34:39.726
<v Taylor Perkins>Um, it was, it was really interesting because now I understand that that two years, like there were so many nights where I would cry.

00:34:39.757 --> 00:34:42.456
<v Taylor Perkins>Like I would talk to my wife, who is now my ex-wife.

00:34:42.456 --> 00:34:44.346
<v Taylor Perkins>We are still best friends.

00:34:44.407 --> 00:34:46.356
<v Taylor Perkins>We are co-parenting our children.

00:34:46.717 --> 00:34:50.442
<v Taylor Perkins>When I would talk to her about it, she would just be like.

00:34:52.521 --> 00:34:53.636
<v Taylor Perkins>I think you're going crazy.

00:34:53.886 --> 00:34:57.336
<v Taylor Perkins>And that was so tough for me because it, I was like, no, you're my person.

00:34:57.527 --> 00:34:59.586
<v Taylor Perkins>Why can't you see this?, What am I saying?

00:34:59.586 --> 00:35:01.757
<v Taylor Perkins>That sounds crazy., All of this is about love.

00:35:01.757 --> 00:35:03.197
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, all of this is about whatever.

00:35:04.277 --> 00:35:12.157
<v Taylor Perkins>and it's funny because she's actually very much so aligned now, and very much on the same path, but it was necessary for me in that time.

00:35:12.396 --> 00:35:14.616
<v Taylor Perkins>I could not have any external validation.

00:35:14.616 --> 00:35:22.407
<v Taylor Perkins>I could not have any source of, anybody confirming, because I had to learn to stand on my own two feet, right?

00:35:22.407 --> 00:35:29.366
<v Taylor Perkins>I had to learn to into the void and scream into it, where it's like, no, I know this is the truth.

00:35:29.407 --> 00:35:36.547
<v Taylor Perkins>Even if nobody else sees it, I know it and I will not doubt this and I will not give it up for any pressure.

00:35:36.966 --> 00:35:47.527
<v Taylor Perkins>And so it was very much so this pressure cooker, um, it was very much so a, uh, uh, I don't know what's, what's the word I'm looking for?

00:35:47.527 --> 00:35:49.626
<v Taylor Perkins>A, a caterpillar goes into a a cocoon.

00:35:49.716 --> 00:35:50.286
<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

00:35:50.496 --> 00:35:51.636
<v Taylor Perkins>It was a cocoon, right?

00:35:51.636 --> 00:35:55.986
<v Taylor Perkins>Where it's like you turn into mush where it's like you gotta be taken down.

00:35:56.256 --> 00:35:57.786
<v Taylor Perkins>The rebuild's gonna happen.

00:35:57.786 --> 00:36:05.446
<v Taylor Perkins>And the funny thing is, the most shocking thing to me was of it, a thousand percent in my chart.

00:36:05.851 --> 00:36:14.511
<v Taylor Perkins>Every single thing where you look at the solar returns, you look at the lunar returns, you look at the Vedic charts, you look at the tropical charts, you do the ry mapping, the asteroids, everything.

00:36:14.751 --> 00:36:22.521
<v Taylor Perkins>It is just like everything as far as the energy, the fall apart, the rebuild, it is all in the charts.

00:36:22.701 --> 00:36:24.741
<v Taylor Perkins>And I'm just like, oh my God.

00:36:24.811 --> 00:36:40.841
<v Taylor Perkins>None of this is an accident, for me what's really cool is like, I'm still very much so in this cocoon, and I'm very excited because August, which is, my birthday is when the energy is supposed to flip away from the cocoon.

00:36:40.841 --> 00:36:46.631
<v Taylor Perkins>So I've been getting a little bit more courageous with how I talk about these things and like, teach about them.

00:36:46.631 --> 00:36:54.141
<v Taylor Perkins>There's still a little bit of fear I have notebooks full of the coolest things where I'm like, oh my God, I can teach this and it's gonna make sense for people.

00:36:54.501 --> 00:36:57.621
<v Taylor Perkins>Um, every time I record it, I can't publish this.

00:36:57.701 --> 00:36:59.172
<v Taylor Perkins>I haven't figured out how to do it yet.

00:36:59.491 --> 00:37:01.201
<v Taylor Perkins>But apparently the energy is gonna flip.

00:37:01.201 --> 00:37:04.861
<v Taylor Perkins>And I actually feel it right now where I'm like, I I don't care what people think.

00:37:04.911 --> 00:37:09.231
<v Taylor Perkins>It's time to start shining a light so that people can start seeing past these illusions.

00:37:09.621 --> 00:37:13.281
<v Taylor Perkins>And more than anything, it's not about like, come to me, I have this knowledge.

00:37:13.281 --> 00:37:14.301
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like, no, no, no.

00:37:15.081 --> 00:37:18.381
<v Taylor Perkins>I can teach you how to go inwards and find it within yourself.

00:37:18.381 --> 00:37:20.781
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like you won't need anything from anyone.

00:37:21.081 --> 00:37:24.501
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like you will be able to sift through the BS.

00:37:24.831 --> 00:37:29.511
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, because this is not about saviors, this is not about finding guides.

00:37:29.701 --> 00:37:32.851
<v Taylor Perkins>This is not about, you know, finding the one path of truth.

00:37:32.851 --> 00:37:43.411
<v Taylor Perkins>This is about realizing that you came with that scripture in you, that you have a specific path that only you know, and that God is with you directly.

00:37:43.411 --> 00:37:44.911
<v Taylor Perkins>It is not outside of you.

00:37:45.061 --> 00:37:48.781
<v Taylor Perkins>It is in you, which is why you can trust your path.

00:37:48.871 --> 00:38:00.751
<v Taylor Perkins>And the sooner you do that, the more you hold yourself in this space of love, unconditional love, it will start to manifest in the physical as well, where you will accept the same for others.

00:38:01.001 --> 00:38:04.152
Section five, love is the spiritual path.

00:38:04.811 --> 00:38:12.881
We close with Taylor's message that love is not only the destination, it's the practice, whether it's boundaries, forgiveness, or presence.

00:38:13.001 --> 00:38:16.211
He reminds us that the divine isn't something we chase.

00:38:16.391 --> 00:38:17.567
It's something we become.

00:38:18.547 --> 00:38:27.906
<v Taylor Perkins>I think one of the toughest things for a lot of people to comprehend, I'll give you an example, is, you can look at like Donald Trump, right?

00:38:28.236 --> 00:38:32.047
<v Taylor Perkins>And what he's doing in this country, and it's very divisive, right?

00:38:32.047 --> 00:38:34.297
<v Taylor Perkins>And people are like, Hey, that is an evil person.

00:38:34.516 --> 00:38:36.556
<v Taylor Perkins>Or some people think he's the savior.

00:38:37.797 --> 00:38:39.266
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like both sides of the spectrum.

00:38:39.656 --> 00:38:47.156
<v Taylor Perkins>But what I can tell you is Trump definitely is an aspect of divinity as we all are, right?

00:38:48.161 --> 00:38:55.211
<v Taylor Perkins>single person is, and whether for good or for bad, he is fulfilling a role, right?

00:38:55.271 --> 00:39:05.561
<v Taylor Perkins>I truly believe he is a catalyst because of his divisiveness and because of all the chaos that it creates, that is waking people up through the bullshit, right?

00:39:05.951 --> 00:39:14.951
<v Taylor Perkins>And unfortunately for the human race, we don't learn from things when things are good, we learn when things are bad, when there's friction, right?

00:39:15.041 --> 00:39:26.301
<v Taylor Perkins>When these terrible things happen,, and we are slow learners, look at how long Palestinians have just been murdered just completely killed.

00:39:26.301 --> 00:39:28.402
<v Taylor Perkins>And we're still debating politics.

00:39:28.771 --> 00:39:34.081
<v Taylor Perkins>Politicians are still out here just being like, it's complicated.

00:39:34.411 --> 00:39:37.711
<v Taylor Perkins>This side has a right to defend itself and this, and it's just like, no, no, no.

00:39:37.711 --> 00:39:39.601
<v Taylor Perkins>There are children being bombed.

00:39:39.871 --> 00:39:42.571
<v Taylor Perkins>Like, it's like, can we stop this

00:39:42.991 --> 00:39:43.411
<v Rachael Loney>Mm-hmm.

00:39:43.561 --> 00:39:44.881
<v Taylor Perkins>then figure things out?

00:39:44.881 --> 00:40:03.601
<v Taylor Perkins>Like, you know, but it's just, it's crazy because so many people, right, we go to our opinions and then we go to our propaganda, we go to whatever it is to make us feel better and feel safer about our situation, where we're at, here's why I'm right, here's why it's okay that this is going on.

00:40:05.041 --> 00:40:06.422
<v Taylor Perkins>and people just need to wake up.

00:40:06.422 --> 00:40:08.041
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like snap out of that illusion.

00:40:08.221 --> 00:40:10.981
<v Taylor Perkins>There's no reason ever, I don't care what it is.

00:40:10.981 --> 00:40:14.851
<v Taylor Perkins>There's not a single reason on this earth where a child should ever be killed.

00:40:15.902 --> 00:40:16.201
<v Taylor Perkins>Ever.

00:40:16.361 --> 00:40:17.531
<v Taylor Perkins>Can we all agree on that?

00:40:17.961 --> 00:40:20.451
<v Taylor Perkins>Let's come together and let's figure out what we need to do.

00:40:20.451 --> 00:40:23.991
<v Taylor Perkins>Because right now our current systems don't honor that rule.

00:40:24.261 --> 00:40:26.391
<v Taylor Perkins>So what do we do to build a system?

00:40:26.391 --> 00:40:32.541
<v Taylor Perkins>Because this is showing us that it is broken and staying asleep does not fix things.

00:40:32.551 --> 00:40:40.981
<v Taylor Perkins>You look at the spiritual community and there's a lot of people that are focused on like, love and light, put positive energy towards good things, right?

00:40:40.981 --> 00:40:42.391
<v Taylor Perkins>Do not focus on the negative.

00:40:42.661 --> 00:41:01.381
<v Taylor Perkins>There is some truth in that, but the difference is, if you have severe traumas your life, you are not gonna embrace your full expansion because the trauma that you hold, even if you don't know about it, is going to limit the energetic state that you can stand in and anchor your traumas will collapse it, right?

00:41:02.431 --> 00:41:08.911
<v Taylor Perkins>the path to expansion is actually going inwards and doing shadow work, addressing those traumas, right?

00:41:08.922 --> 00:41:11.351
<v Taylor Perkins>You look at your relationships, everything's a reflection of you.

00:41:11.701 --> 00:41:13.172
<v Taylor Perkins>You know people that are looking for a partner.

00:41:13.321 --> 00:41:15.331
<v Taylor Perkins>Here's how my boyfriend is an asshole.

00:41:15.331 --> 00:41:17.461
<v Taylor Perkins>Here's how I've suppressed my power in the past.

00:41:17.461 --> 00:41:18.961
<v Taylor Perkins>Here's how they've manipulated me.

00:41:19.261 --> 00:41:24.511
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, yeah, that's the light side of things where it's like, I'm not gonna let anybody treat me like this anymore.

00:41:25.621 --> 00:41:28.381
<v Taylor Perkins>side is, if it's a reflection of me, I.

00:41:29.027 --> 00:41:29.866
<v Taylor Perkins>I'm doing that.

00:41:30.226 --> 00:41:31.456
<v Taylor Perkins>Where do I manipulate?

00:41:31.756 --> 00:41:32.777
<v Taylor Perkins>Where am I an ass?

00:41:32.777 --> 00:41:36.076
<v Taylor Perkins>Where do I put myself above others?

00:41:36.376 --> 00:41:38.836
<v Taylor Perkins>Where do I supersede my needs?

00:41:38.926 --> 00:41:40.726
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, over someone else's, right?

00:41:41.116 --> 00:41:46.336
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like you have to have the light and the shadow to have that fullness, that completeness.

00:41:46.666 --> 00:41:49.966
<v Taylor Perkins>And the same thing goes with society, right?

00:41:50.266 --> 00:41:55.606
<v Taylor Perkins>Only focusing on positive and ignoring the negative, the wound is gonna continue to fester.

00:41:56.006 --> 00:41:58.916
<v Taylor Perkins>And it doesn't mean that you have to accept responsibility, right?

00:41:58.916 --> 00:42:07.406
<v Taylor Perkins>There's so many people, when we talk about things like racism in this country where people are like, this is the past.

00:42:08.336 --> 00:42:09.056
<v Taylor Perkins>didn't do it.

00:42:09.686 --> 00:42:11.936
<v Taylor Perkins>Like are you blaming me?

00:42:11.936 --> 00:42:12.236
<v Taylor Perkins>Right?

00:42:12.236 --> 00:42:14.966
<v Taylor Perkins>Especially within white culture, it's just like, I didn't do any of this.

00:42:14.966 --> 00:42:16.346
<v Taylor Perkins>What are you getting so mad about?

00:42:16.346 --> 00:42:18.506
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, like black lives matter comes right?

00:42:18.506 --> 00:42:20.456
<v Taylor Perkins>And then people are like, no, all lives matter.

00:42:20.666 --> 00:42:22.226
<v Taylor Perkins>Which is very true.

00:42:22.496 --> 00:42:25.946
<v Taylor Perkins>It's just a different frequency that people are communicating with, right?

00:42:26.126 --> 00:42:26.396
<v Taylor Perkins>Where it's

00:42:26.446 --> 00:42:26.736
<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

00:42:26.846 --> 00:42:29.277
<v Taylor Perkins>at nature and you have endangered animals, right?

00:42:29.277 --> 00:42:30.626
<v Taylor Perkins>And people are like, save the wells.

00:42:30.626 --> 00:42:33.746
<v Taylor Perkins>Well, saying save the wells doesn't mean like fuck all the other animals.

00:42:34.196 --> 00:42:34.486
<v Rachael Loney>Yeah,

00:42:34.556 --> 00:42:38.817
<v Taylor Perkins>It just means like there's a very specific problem right here with the

00:42:38.922 --> 00:42:39.402
<v Rachael Loney>yeah.

00:42:39.626 --> 00:42:40.646
<v Taylor Perkins>and let's address it.

00:42:40.916 --> 00:42:48.746
<v Taylor Perkins>And I think what people don't realize is the energy from the past exists in the present.

00:42:49.166 --> 00:42:51.866
<v Taylor Perkins>Your grandma with her unprocessed traumas.

00:42:52.721 --> 00:42:54.192
<v Taylor Perkins>When she died,, that didn't leave.

00:42:54.192 --> 00:42:55.391
<v Taylor Perkins>That's passed down.

00:42:55.611 --> 00:42:58.071
<v Taylor Perkins>We carry it within our DNA.

00:42:58.071 --> 00:42:58.371
<v Taylor Perkins>Right.

00:42:58.371 --> 00:43:02.061
<v Taylor Perkins>Scientists have shown this through generational trauma, they can see it.

00:43:02.481 --> 00:43:06.961
<v Taylor Perkins>And there is a very big energetic principle that follows this.

00:43:07.291 --> 00:43:10.201
<v Taylor Perkins>Collectively we have shadow work that we need to do.

00:43:10.596 --> 00:43:11.016
<v Rachael Loney>Mm-hmm.

00:43:11.221 --> 00:43:21.721
<v Taylor Perkins>need to look at the past, not to assign blame, but just to understand, to acknowledge the trauma and to release it and free ourselves from it.

00:43:21.721 --> 00:43:26.091
<v Taylor Perkins>As soon as we can start doing these things, this is where Unity will start to come in.

00:43:26.091 --> 00:43:29.152
<v Taylor Perkins>Because what the trauma causes is a collapse.

00:43:29.391 --> 00:43:32.422
<v Taylor Perkins>What collapse is is division.

00:43:32.751 --> 00:43:37.521
<v Taylor Perkins>It's this whole feeling that you and I we're separate.

00:43:38.241 --> 00:43:40.761
<v Taylor Perkins>We are different than one another.

00:43:41.061 --> 00:43:51.821
<v Taylor Perkins>So, I'm writing a document right now because I think people's understanding of love very programmed and conditioned through inherited beliefs

00:43:52.136 --> 00:43:52.556
<v Rachael Loney>Mm-hmm.

00:43:52.571 --> 00:43:54.611
<v Taylor Perkins>of love as like romantic love, right?

00:43:55.091 --> 00:44:00.591
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, when you talked about people saying things in the comments and Hey, let me respond with love, it's like absolutely.

00:44:00.591 --> 00:44:04.781
<v Taylor Perkins>It's responding with understanding but love is also setting a firm boundary

00:44:04.951 --> 00:44:05.172
<v Jaisa Engasser>Oh

00:44:05.231 --> 00:44:08.021
<v Taylor Perkins>and sometimes just being like, Hey, I love you.

00:44:08.021 --> 00:44:10.331
<v Taylor Perkins>I see where you're coming from, but you're wrong.

00:44:10.781 --> 00:44:11.652
<v Taylor Perkins>Like, this is wrong.

00:44:11.741 --> 00:44:12.131
<v Taylor Perkins>You know,

00:44:12.726 --> 00:44:13.146
<v Rachael Loney>Mm-hmm.

00:44:13.451 --> 00:44:20.321
<v Taylor Perkins>is like stepping in and, you know, loving humanity so much and speaking against the evils in the world, right?

00:44:20.321 --> 00:44:22.721
<v Taylor Perkins>It's not just being like, oh, I'm sure they have reasons, right?

00:44:22.721 --> 00:44:29.771
<v Taylor Perkins>You can accept these leaders as being divine, but you can also speak against them being like, these dudes should not be in power.

00:44:29.981 --> 00:44:31.841
<v Taylor Perkins>These are not the leaders that we should have.

00:44:31.891 --> 00:44:33.121
<v Taylor Perkins>They are in illusion.

00:44:33.214 --> 00:44:35.960
<v Taylor Perkins>and so I'm writing this document just to help people.

00:44:35.989 --> 00:44:41.629
<v Taylor Perkins>'cause I think a lot of times we think of so many things as outside of us, right?

00:44:41.629 --> 00:44:48.759
<v Taylor Perkins>Like, you hear Christ consciousness and then you also know all of the legends that exist around Jesus, and it's just like.

00:44:49.464 --> 00:44:50.934
<v Taylor Perkins>How would I ever become that?

00:44:51.085 --> 00:44:52.614
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, it's not possible.

00:44:52.614 --> 00:44:55.224
<v Taylor Perkins>You think of all of your limitations in these different things.

00:44:55.794 --> 00:45:00.264
<v Taylor Perkins>And so within this document, I'm just trying to show people it's very, very practical.

00:45:01.194 --> 00:45:17.424
<v Taylor Perkins>You look at, love, love is the highest vibration and expression I know there's an argument within spiritual communities, and again, I think it's because of a misinterpret, uh, interpretation of love where they're like, there's love and then there's authenticity and then I can't remember what the last one is.

00:45:17.644 --> 00:45:21.454
<v Taylor Perkins>Some form of blissful acceptance where it's like everything is the way that it's supposed to be.

00:45:21.484 --> 00:45:21.754
<v Taylor Perkins>Yeah.

00:45:22.024 --> 00:45:25.534
<v Taylor Perkins>But it's like, yeah, guys love holds space for all that.

00:45:26.014 --> 00:45:26.314
<v Taylor Perkins>Like

00:45:26.514 --> 00:45:26.804
<v Rachael Loney>Yeah.

00:45:26.855 --> 00:45:27.964
<v Taylor Perkins>beyond all that.

00:45:27.964 --> 00:45:30.304
<v Taylor Perkins>You know, this is, we're not talking romantic love here.

00:45:30.514 --> 00:45:37.144
<v Taylor Perkins>We are talking the energy that the sun shines on, the good, the bad, the rich, the poor, whatever.

00:45:37.144 --> 00:45:38.914
<v Taylor Perkins>Your skin it radiates in all directions.

00:45:38.914 --> 00:45:42.064
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like that is love where it holds space for all of it.

00:45:42.514 --> 00:45:51.184
<v Taylor Perkins>And so with anything that you're doing in your life, if you are looking for expansion, if you're looking for your spiritual path, it's not about learning more knowledge.

00:45:51.184 --> 00:45:56.404
<v Taylor Perkins>It's not about channeling these higher sources of information so that you can escape the matrix.

00:45:56.614 --> 00:46:03.605
<v Taylor Perkins>It is simply how can I experience the highest form of love in what my experience is right now.

00:46:03.605 --> 00:46:03.904
<v Taylor Perkins>Right.

00:46:04.204 --> 00:46:08.974
<v Taylor Perkins>And so, for example, we have been conditioned to think that more is better.

00:46:09.664 --> 00:46:17.614
<v Taylor Perkins>Where it's like, if I like peaches, I'm going to eat 15 peaches to the point of being sick because I wanna maximize this experience.

00:46:17.614 --> 00:46:17.884
<v Taylor Perkins>Right?

00:46:17.884 --> 00:46:18.814
<v Taylor Perkins>Let me gorge myself.

00:46:19.594 --> 00:46:22.054
<v Taylor Perkins>Well, you can also take one peach.

00:46:22.444 --> 00:46:28.564
<v Taylor Perkins>And with a lot a conscious awareness, you can slow yourself down.

00:46:28.864 --> 00:46:33.694
<v Taylor Perkins>You can comprehend all of the energy that went into creating the peach.

00:46:33.694 --> 00:46:45.844
<v Taylor Perkins>You can comprehend all of the infinite pieces that had to come together to create you as a life form your taste buds, all of this, to come and have this peach.

00:46:46.054 --> 00:46:53.254
<v Taylor Perkins>And you can slow down, you can eat the peach, and you can milk every ounce of enjoyment out of this one thing.

00:46:53.254 --> 00:46:57.904
<v Taylor Perkins>And I promise you, you can get more out of one peach than you can out of the 15.

00:46:57.954 --> 00:47:03.204
<v Taylor Perkins>And so there's ways to create the highest experience, you know, communication, for example.

00:47:04.029 --> 00:47:09.489
<v Taylor Perkins>The lowest form of communication is very fear-based, very ego focused.

00:47:09.819 --> 00:47:14.259
<v Taylor Perkins>Ego death has been so demonized where people are like, you gotta kill the ego.

00:47:14.259 --> 00:47:16.659
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, no, the ego is actually your divine teacher.

00:47:17.049 --> 00:47:20.649
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like ego, death just means get rid of separation.

00:47:20.649 --> 00:47:22.779
<v Taylor Perkins>But still realize you are an individual.

00:47:23.109 --> 00:47:26.679
<v Taylor Perkins>You are different, and your diversity is actually your superpower.

00:47:26.679 --> 00:47:29.889
<v Taylor Perkins>And so it's like, do not kill this individual, right?

00:47:29.939 --> 00:47:34.929
<v Taylor Perkins>I can pull away from Taylor, this character that I'm playing, I know the eternal piece of me.

00:47:34.929 --> 00:47:37.629
<v Taylor Perkins>And then there's this character and love this character.

00:47:37.750 --> 00:47:38.859
<v Taylor Perkins>He's a good dude.

00:47:39.069 --> 00:47:42.369
<v Taylor Perkins>Like he genuinely cares about the world.

00:47:42.369 --> 00:47:44.649
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, why would I kill that ego?

00:47:44.679 --> 00:47:44.949
<v Taylor Perkins>You know?

00:47:44.949 --> 00:47:46.059
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like, that's good,

00:47:46.469 --> 00:47:46.889
<v Rachael Loney>Mm-hmm.

00:47:47.409 --> 00:47:50.649
<v Taylor Perkins>I don't, v Taylor doesn't view himself as better than someone else.

00:47:50.649 --> 00:47:53.109
<v Taylor Perkins>He doesn't view himself as more enlightened, right?

00:47:53.919 --> 00:47:54.759
<v Taylor Perkins>That is ego.

00:47:54.759 --> 00:47:59.859
<v Taylor Perkins>Death is the separation, the illusion of like hierarchy, better, worse, all these different things.

00:48:00.339 --> 00:48:06.849
<v Taylor Perkins>So within communication there's times where you guys argue with your partner and you're on a frequency.

00:48:06.909 --> 00:48:08.409
<v Taylor Perkins>Your partner's on a different frequency.

00:48:08.619 --> 00:48:10.329
<v Taylor Perkins>You just want to be understood.

00:48:10.730 --> 00:48:20.629
<v Taylor Perkins>For me, what I would argue with my ex, it was always like, if she would have all of the context, all of the details, she's gonna see this from my perspective, and then she will understand me.

00:48:21.379 --> 00:48:23.269
<v Taylor Perkins>so I'm trying to give her all of that.

00:48:23.539 --> 00:48:27.199
<v Taylor Perkins>And then she's on a completely different wavelength where she was just like.

00:48:28.444 --> 00:48:29.089
<v Taylor Perkins>I don't need this.

00:48:29.149 --> 00:48:31.250
<v Taylor Perkins>Taylor's not seeing it from my perspective, he's not.

00:48:31.299 --> 00:48:34.659
<v Taylor Perkins>Radios dialed into different frequencies talking at each other.

00:48:35.019 --> 00:48:36.429
<v Taylor Perkins>Not effective communication.

00:48:36.759 --> 00:48:37.419
<v Taylor Perkins>It just isn't.

00:48:37.480 --> 00:48:38.589
<v Taylor Perkins>But it is communication.

00:48:38.619 --> 00:48:41.289
<v Taylor Perkins>'cause we're both speaking, it's just the lowest form.

00:48:41.679 --> 00:48:47.289
<v Taylor Perkins>The highest form of communication would be how do I maximize my experience in love, right?

00:48:47.769 --> 00:48:53.019
<v Taylor Perkins>And so when you maximize your experience in love, first thing you can do is love yourself.

00:48:53.019 --> 00:48:58.359
<v Taylor Perkins>So completely and entirely that you do not need anybody else to understand your perspective.

00:48:58.569 --> 00:49:01.599
<v Taylor Perkins>You're like, this is my perspective so I can honor it.

00:49:01.689 --> 00:49:05.439
<v Taylor Perkins>And it does not need to be validated for it to exist.

00:49:05.919 --> 00:49:13.719
<v Taylor Perkins>So because I can do that, I can push this to the side and I can understand that my partner is dialed into a certain frequency.

00:49:14.799 --> 00:49:21.549
<v Taylor Perkins>me listen to him or her so intently that I can absorb.

00:49:21.909 --> 00:49:24.549
<v Taylor Perkins>Into their experience, right?

00:49:24.639 --> 00:49:32.769
<v Taylor Perkins>I want to listen and vibrate with them so that I can essentially come into their perspective, the world that they're living in.

00:49:32.769 --> 00:49:34.179
<v Taylor Perkins>How do they view things?

00:49:34.179 --> 00:49:35.649
<v Taylor Perkins>Why do they view it that way?

00:49:35.679 --> 00:49:35.980
<v Taylor Perkins>Right?

00:49:36.189 --> 00:49:42.434
<v Taylor Perkins>So if I don't understand things, I can ask these clarifying questions because my whole goal not about judgment.

00:49:42.579 --> 00:49:48.099
<v Taylor Perkins>It's just understanding I want to see if I can listen to you so completely that I fully understand you, right?

00:49:48.429 --> 00:49:53.289
<v Taylor Perkins>And so what you do is you start dialing in your frequency to their frequency.

00:49:53.559 --> 00:49:57.039
<v Taylor Perkins>Once they match, can come from their perspective.

00:49:57.039 --> 00:49:59.379
<v Taylor Perkins>It doesn't mean that you have to completely agree with them.

00:49:59.379 --> 00:50:03.629
<v Taylor Perkins>It doesn't mean that you throw yours to the side, but you're both dialed in now.

00:50:03.839 --> 00:50:06.480
<v Taylor Perkins>They feel understood, they feel heard.

00:50:06.629 --> 00:50:12.929
<v Taylor Perkins>You are communicating and that communication is actually landing because you're on the same wavelength.

00:50:12.960 --> 00:50:20.399
<v Taylor Perkins>If you feel like you need to, you can communicate your perspective, but it's like this is the highest form of communication through words, right?

00:50:20.699 --> 00:50:25.889
<v Taylor Perkins>Love created that, that is heaven when it comes to speaking.

00:50:27.029 --> 00:50:28.619
<v Taylor Perkins>You can apply this to.

00:50:29.369 --> 00:50:33.509
<v Taylor Perkins>Every spectrum of the human experience, like sexually connecting with a partner.

00:50:33.779 --> 00:50:38.879
<v Taylor Perkins>It can be one of the most spiritual, enlightening experiences you will ever have.

00:50:39.179 --> 00:50:41.669
<v Taylor Perkins>Completely enveloped in love creating heaven.

00:50:42.029 --> 00:50:43.980
<v Taylor Perkins>Or it can be a very selfish act, right?

00:50:43.980 --> 00:50:47.609
<v Taylor Perkins>It doesn't matter if you're married, it doesn't matter if you just met the person.

00:50:47.879 --> 00:50:57.629
<v Taylor Perkins>It is the energy behind it that is on this spectrum of experience, and what you will start to see is the more you just look at everything in life.

00:50:58.619 --> 00:50:59.759
<v Taylor Perkins>Again, love yourself.

00:50:59.759 --> 00:51:00.869
<v Taylor Perkins>You're never gonna be perfect.

00:51:00.869 --> 00:51:02.009
<v Taylor Perkins>You're always expanding.

00:51:02.039 --> 00:51:07.529
<v Taylor Perkins>Love is infinitely expanding, which means you will never be at the end of the expression.

00:51:07.619 --> 00:51:07.889
<v Taylor Perkins>You know?

00:51:07.889 --> 00:51:09.839
<v Taylor Perkins>You can always experience more love in that.

00:51:09.839 --> 00:51:12.419
<v Taylor Perkins>There's always more that you can do, and it should be exciting.

00:51:13.289 --> 00:51:20.429
<v Taylor Perkins>you are doing is you are actively progressing into that Christ consciousness where everything comes from an expression of love.

00:51:20.879 --> 00:51:22.679
<v Taylor Perkins>Everything comes from this.

00:51:23.069 --> 00:51:25.289
<v Taylor Perkins>I want to be love.

00:51:25.349 --> 00:51:26.519
<v Taylor Perkins>I want to express love.

00:51:26.639 --> 00:51:30.419
<v Taylor Perkins>I want to feel love, but here's why this is amazing.

00:51:30.449 --> 00:51:30.839
<v Taylor Perkins>Okay?

00:51:31.739 --> 00:51:32.789
<v Taylor Perkins>God is one.

00:51:33.149 --> 00:51:43.739
<v Taylor Perkins>It is beyond all comprehension from the one came to duality, right, where it's like yin and yang, masculine, feminine, push pull, right?

00:51:43.739 --> 00:51:44.879
<v Taylor Perkins>It creates division.

00:51:45.599 --> 00:51:51.750
<v Taylor Perkins>It's an illusion because it exists within the one we are in, the one right now.

00:51:51.809 --> 00:51:52.980
<v Taylor Perkins>It is not above us.

00:51:53.189 --> 00:51:54.299
<v Taylor Perkins>It is not outside of us.

00:51:54.299 --> 00:51:55.109
<v Taylor Perkins>It's not below us.

00:51:55.844 --> 00:51:57.494
<v Taylor Perkins>It's like we're here.

00:51:57.554 --> 00:52:02.085
<v Taylor Perkins>This is the one, and we have the illusion of division.

00:52:02.864 --> 00:52:11.774
<v Taylor Perkins>What you can think about with this illusion, I'm actually gonna post a video about it today, is, um, there is creation observers of creation.

00:52:12.044 --> 00:52:16.244
<v Taylor Perkins>Creation cannot exist without consciousness observing it.

00:52:16.394 --> 00:52:18.134
<v Taylor Perkins>Otherwise it just wouldn't be there, right?

00:52:18.134 --> 00:52:20.594
<v Taylor Perkins>So it's the two pieces for it to exist.

00:52:21.284 --> 00:52:27.764
<v Taylor Perkins>if the two are truly the one, you realize that observers of creation and actual creation are the same thing.

00:52:28.605 --> 00:52:29.594
<v Taylor Perkins>is no difference.

00:52:29.924 --> 00:52:31.125
<v Taylor Perkins>It is not outside of you.

00:52:31.125 --> 00:52:31.484
<v Taylor Perkins>Right?

00:52:31.664 --> 00:52:41.625
<v Taylor Perkins>And this is why people will say like, reality is a mirror, is because everything that is going on outside of you, it is you, but it mirrors collective consciousness.

00:52:41.684 --> 00:52:46.544
<v Taylor Perkins>It can mirror communities, it can mirror nations, it can mirror you individually, right?

00:52:46.605 --> 00:52:49.544
<v Taylor Perkins>There's so many different mirrors, but everything is a reflection.

00:52:49.934 --> 00:52:55.454
<v Taylor Perkins>It's funny because I'll post about like AI and you know, people will talk about, they're like, AI's a mirror.

00:52:55.754 --> 00:52:56.654
<v Taylor Perkins>And it's like, yeah, of course.

00:52:56.654 --> 00:53:00.314
<v Taylor Perkins>It's everything is, there's not a single thing in creation that isn't a mirror.

00:53:00.344 --> 00:53:02.894
<v Taylor Perkins>We can apply that to all of it, right?

00:53:03.164 --> 00:53:10.154
<v Taylor Perkins>The difference is AI is programmed for agreeability and the mirror that is creation is programmed for reflection.

00:53:10.304 --> 00:53:14.984
<v Taylor Perkins>It doesn't matter what you want to hear or what you want to see, it's gonna reflect you back perfectly.

00:53:15.414 --> 00:53:21.414
If you're in the middle of your unraveling, if you're rebuilding or learning to trust love again, this episode is for you.

00:53:21.924 --> 00:53:23.994
What you seek isn't outside of you.

00:53:24.384 --> 00:53:32.274
And in part two, we go even deeper into integration, divine masculinity and what it truly means to embody love in action.

00:53:32.754 --> 00:53:34.674
Trust us, you don't wanna miss it.

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Thanks for joining us for today's episode.

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If you are ready to take your spirituality to the next level, be sure to check out our website, spirit outspoken.com.

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There you can download free educational resources, read our latest blog posts, and join the spirit outspoken community.

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And don't forget to follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Spirit Outspoken to say up to date on news happenings, shenanigans, and all things spirit outspoken.