S4E9: Volleyball Day In The Bay, Are "Yeller" Coaches Done For?
Volleyball Day in the Bay becomes less about a single match and more about building a real Bay Area volleyball tradition around Stanford men’s volleyball. We unpack what worked, what fell flat, and how coaching intensity changes when trust and emotional intelligence lead the way.
• tailgate energy and cross-club volleyball community showing up
• beach volleyball at Stanford and why the venue feels special
• youth clinic logistics and the value of getting kids on the floor
• attendance goals, seating optics and making the crowd look full
• student turnout problems and ideas for smarter campus activation
• coaching styles from yelling to evolved communication
• defining the line between intensity and abuse plus why follow-up talks matter
Go look up at @GlassBoats on X for Matt's most embarrassing idioms.
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WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.840 <v SPEAKER_02>What did you eat for breakfast? 00:00:02.319 --> 00:00:07.360 <v Daniel Rasay>I ate hot dogs for breakfast and hot dogs for lunch and all the leftover hot dogs. 00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:10.080 <v Arielle Houlihan>You had 13 hot dogs all day long. 00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:19.440 <v Matt Houlihan>I didn't say anything. 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:22.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>This is the worst part of the show, everybody. 00:00:22.160 --> 00:00:26.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>This is when Matt usually judges my intros. 00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:30.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>So welcome to the Coach's Group Chat. 00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:36.719 <v Arielle Houlihan>We are overwhelmingly excited to have you with us today. 00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:38.719 <v Matt Houlihan>Everybody, welcome to the Coach's Group Chat. 00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:40.320 <v Matt Houlihan>We are so excited to have you here. 00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:46.960 <v Matt Houlihan>We are back for another week after an extremely eventful, tiresome weekend. 00:00:47.359 --> 00:00:49.920 <v Matt Houlihan>Volleyball Day in the Bay was here. 00:00:51.119 --> 00:00:53.280 <v Matt Houlihan>We did not reach our goal. 00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:55.439 <v Matt Houlihan>But we had a hell of a weekend. 00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:57.600 <v Matt Houlihan>Matt's going way too fast. 00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:09.200 <v Matt Houlihan>He's also blind in one eye and deaf in two ears. 00:01:09.519 --> 00:01:10.319 <v Arielle Houlihan>Just like Chad. 00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:11.760 <v Arielle Houlihan>Just like Chad. 00:01:13.519 --> 00:01:16.799 <v Arielle Houlihan>Chad is in New York for another day. 00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:22.159 <v Arielle Houlihan>And in the actual coaches group chat, we all texted each other this morning. 00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:24.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>And usually it goes pod tonight. 00:01:24.159 --> 00:01:26.400 <v Arielle Houlihan>And everybody's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:30.079 <v Arielle Houlihan>And it was not as yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. 00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:31.599 <v Arielle Houlihan>It was like, oh, well, I can do this. 00:01:31.680 --> 00:01:33.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>And Chad was like, well, I can do that. 00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:36.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>And then it turned into you have to choose. 00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:37.040 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah, it was high maintenance. 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:39.040 <v Arielle Houlihan>Daniel or Chad. 00:01:39.359 --> 00:01:41.120 <v Arielle Houlihan>And we go, Daniel. 00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:47.439 <v Arielle Houlihan>So Daniel got the nod this week, mostly because he was at Volleyball Day in the Bay. 00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:53.680 <v Arielle Houlihan>I think the text read, We left the bay when the bay needed us most, so Daniel can have it. 00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:54.319 <v Matt Houlihan>Yep. 00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:56.400 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um valid. 00:01:56.640 --> 00:02:07.120 <v Arielle Houlihan>But we do have at the end of this pod today, we will have a uh it says two minutes and twelve seconds for Chad's wedding what date. 00:02:07.519 --> 00:02:09.360 <v Matt Houlihan>Wedding, wedding what date, yeah, not a week cap. 00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:11.039 <v Matt Houlihan>We cap would be after it. 00:02:11.280 --> 00:02:13.199 <v Matt Houlihan>I hope they didn't get married. 00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:14.800 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's why it's two minutes. 00:02:14.879 --> 00:02:17.199 <v Arielle Houlihan>This is the ceremony that we're gonna play, press play for you. 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:21.599 <v Arielle Houlihan>So we will press play for Chad's uh uh blind reaction. 00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:22.560 <v Arielle Houlihan>Blind reaction. 00:02:22.639 --> 00:02:23.840 <v Arielle Houlihan>We haven't listened to it yet. 00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:26.719 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um, so we will do that at the end of the end of the pod. 00:02:27.039 --> 00:02:30.800 <v Arielle Houlihan>So if you'd like to press fast forward now, you are more than welcome. 00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:34.639 <v Matt Houlihan>So those of you that are here, Chad's mom, who's here for the wedding. 00:02:35.599 --> 00:02:36.879 <v Arielle Houlihan>Wedding updates only. 00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:38.960 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um that'll be at the end of the episode. 00:02:39.039 --> 00:02:43.439 <v Arielle Houlihan>But for now, we will go back to volleyball day in the bay. 00:02:43.759 --> 00:02:44.240 <v Matt Houlihan>We cap. 00:02:44.719 --> 00:02:45.039 <v Matt Houlihan>We cap. 00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:46.080 <v Matt Houlihan>We have a we cap. 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:53.360 <v Matt Houlihan>Uh I'll I'm gonna give my perspective from volleyball day in the bay after I hear Daniel's because Daniel kind of ran the show. 00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:54.800 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh I get a perspective. 00:02:55.199 --> 00:02:56.319 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yes, yes, yes, of course. 00:02:56.719 --> 00:02:57.120 <v Matt Houlihan>Sorry. 00:02:57.199 --> 00:02:58.800 <v Matt Houlihan>Uh you you get a perspective as well. 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:04.319 <v Matt Houlihan>I'm just meaning Daniel ran the the tailgate, which was a big piece of the puzzle of what we were trying to do. 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:07.439 <v Matt Houlihan>And I only got to see maybe 10 minutes of it. 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:09.439 <v Matt Houlihan>You were not there for very long gym. 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:14.000 <v Matt Houlihan>So I just want to, yeah, let me give me the give me the lay of the land, the rundown from from the bar. 00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:15.680 <v SPEAKER_02>Start from the very beginning. 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:17.680 <v SPEAKER_02>What did you eat for breakfast? 00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:23.280 <v Daniel Rasay>I ate hot dogs for breakfast and hot dogs for lunch and all the leftover hot dogs for the biggest. 00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:26.080 <v Daniel Rasay>You had 13 hot dogs all day long. 00:03:26.639 --> 00:03:30.000 <v Daniel Rasay>Um vibes were high, I will say. 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:36.400 <v Daniel Rasay>Like it was a cool environment to be in with the young kids playing volleyball. 00:03:36.560 --> 00:03:55.840 <v Daniel Rasay>We had the volleyball parents, Stanford parents there, uh, with Moses' dad and their band jamming for both us and the tennis tournament that was happening close by, which went as well as it could with trying to control the noise and respect their tournament. 00:03:56.080 --> 00:03:58.960 <v Daniel Rasay>But it was pretty amazing. 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:14.159 <v Daniel Rasay>Like just the feeling of different people in the volleyball community coming together because there were Mountain View people, there were academy people, there were girls players, girls players, guys' players, there was everybody. 00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:14.639 <v Daniel Rasay>Yeah. 00:04:14.800 --> 00:04:18.720 <v Daniel Rasay>Uh adult men's players that came from the dimes tournament came came later on. 00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:19.920 <v Daniel Rasay>People flew in. 00:04:20.160 --> 00:04:20.399 <v Daniel Rasay>Yeah. 00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:36.480 <v Daniel Rasay>It was it was just kind of cool to see all of those different volleyball people come together, have a good time, eat some food, and even though I was kind of busy manning the grill and stuff, I had got to sit and chat with a bunch of different people, and it was pretty amazing. 00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:36.959 <v Daniel Rasay>I loved it. 00:04:37.199 --> 00:04:37.680 <v Matt Houlihan>That's awesome. 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:39.600 <v Matt Houlihan>I'd love to hear that. 00:04:39.680 --> 00:04:44.399 <v Matt Houlihan>Ariel, do you have any additional perspective from uh were you getting after it with the with the parents? 00:04:44.480 --> 00:04:46.879 <v Arielle Houlihan>Whether you uh perspective from the tailgate specifically? 00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:49.920 <v Arielle Houlihan>Or just uh the whole thing in general? 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:57.680 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um yeah, I well the beat we were all at beach for a little while before that beach was amazing. 00:04:57.839 --> 00:05:08.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>And if anybody has the chance to go and go to a beach tournament duel at Stanford, it's like one of the best arenas in the country. 00:05:08.639 --> 00:05:12.959 <v Arielle Houlihan>It's just such a cool place to go and sit and hang out and be outside. 00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:21.199 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um, also, the weather was like more than perfect, it was like 75 and beautiful and incredible. 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:27.759 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um so we couldn't have asked for a better day in March for that could have been a toss-up, and it was just amazing. 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:46.639 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um yeah, it the tailgate was uh I was I felt like I talked to a million people, and it was just a really nice special thing that we've been tailgating at these, I've been tailgating since you started with the Dagostinos. 00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:50.639 <v Arielle Houlihan>I've I've been tailgating at Stanford Games for a very long time with the parents. 00:05:50.879 --> 00:06:00.399 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um, and this was just a really, really big welcome uh to everybody to come and like celebrate and be a part in supporting Stanford Men's volleyball. 00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:09.680 <v Arielle Houlihan>The boys rode by on their scooters and we all started like yelling for them, and we're like, this is like a real sport and a real thing, and uh it was very, very cool. 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:13.199 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um so it was just a special, special event. 00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:18.720 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um, the game itself, uh, I mean Stanford won both, so we were we were pretty happy. 00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:21.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um the TIY giveaway went really well. 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:25.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>I got rid of all my hair ties and I forgot to save myself some. 00:06:25.759 --> 00:06:27.199 <v Arielle Houlihan>So it's a good sign. 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:29.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh I should have been in the mood. 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:35.680 <v Arielle Houlihan>Put a couple away from myself so that I had some, but I didn't, so I'm gonna have to make a call. 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:36.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>We'll buy some. 00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:37.600 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah, we'll buy some. 00:06:37.759 --> 00:07:01.839 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah, so um, but that went wonderfully, and I pretty much just got to like thank people for coming to the game, and all the uh cutie little girls volleyball players came up, and I got to give them some out to the parents in Stanford, and that was like a little special thing to do after the end of the game, and I was really hoping that Stanford would win, so I was like happy doing it, not being like, oh yeah, and people being like sorry about the loss. 00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:04.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>So it ended up being wonderful. 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:16.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um, yeah, it was just a very special, fun, uh cool thing that I think that there can be uh even more like good things done with it. 00:07:16.639 --> 00:07:24.959 <v Arielle Houlihan>I think there's room for improvement with it, and like definitely um there's ways to get more people to be involved, and we can be strategic about that. 00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:32.319 <v Arielle Houlihan>But I think it was a great uh step in the right direction towards activating the community for volleyball and men's volleyball in general. 00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:34.160 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah, I love I love hearing that perspective. 00:07:34.240 --> 00:07:40.720 <v Matt Houlihan>I'll give my my little overview of my day, but then I'd love to hear what you guys would like to see for next year because I want it to be annual. 00:07:41.120 --> 00:08:07.279 <v Matt Houlihan>The the genesis of it, the idea was centered around attendance of just trying to get people there, but even more so morphed into exactly kind of what Daniel hit on was just trying to bring Bayer volleyball together in something that you can mark on the calendar each year as just a good fun event for everyone to be able to point to that showcases Stanford Men's volleyball, something that's very close to obviously all of us. 00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:14.000 <v Matt Houlihan>But I I talked with Andrew Fuller early in the week, and Andrew, who's the head beach coach for Stanford, went to St. 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:15.439 <v Matt Houlihan>Francis with me as well. 00:08:15.519 --> 00:08:35.200 <v Matt Houlihan>He was a few years older than me, but we just kind of reminisced on the importance that Stanford Men's Volleyball played in our just development of having something to look at and see that was at a higher level than we were at that we could kind of aspire to, and to now be in a position where we've been a part of Stanford for a while. 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:45.919 <v Matt Houlihan>Um, him jumping in and and involving beach volleyball and providing his resources and support to make it something that was bigger than just one sport. 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:46.879 <v Matt Houlihan>Uh I love it. 00:08:46.960 --> 00:08:50.720 <v Matt Houlihan>I think that's one of the best parts about volleyball is that men's volleyball, women's volleyball, beach volleyball. 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:53.919 <v Matt Houlihan>There's so much crossover, there's so much support between those three sports. 00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:56.480 <v Matt Houlihan>It's not as siloed as some of the other majors. 00:08:56.639 --> 00:09:02.960 <v Matt Houlihan>We were talking to some friends who are in other sports like basketball and soccer, and they were saying that it's nothing like that. 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:11.200 <v Matt Houlihan>There's crossover, of course, between those two sports, but it's just not as big of a community or tight-knit of a community in comparison. 00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:29.039 <v Matt Houlihan>So it's it's just such a unique thing that we get to bring together and to hear various people supporting it from the free clinic that we ran where we sold it out within literally an hour, and Daniel had to field phone calls and emails because his e somehow his email is just baked into that website and cannot be removed. 00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:30.720 <v Matt Houlihan>Um that was great. 00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:31.759 <v Matt Houlihan>That was a really fun experience. 00:09:31.840 --> 00:09:36.080 <v Matt Houlihan>And the parents were so grateful just to come for them to like walk into the practice gym. 00:09:36.159 --> 00:09:47.120 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah, it was really cool to watch those kids' eyes and the parents' eyes of they're taking photos of the walls and then Matt and then Matt started talking, and they're like, Wait, this is exactly like what we get everywhere else. 00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:54.960 <v Arielle Houlihan>I was watching you start the right start the program or like run it, and I was like, It's all the Beta Bay kids, and like they're listening to Matt talk, like Matt, be quiet. 00:09:55.039 --> 00:09:59.039 <v Arielle Houlihan>Let one of the let Alex Rotten go do something and like talk to everybody and whatever. 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:00.320 <v Arielle Houlihan>Well, yeah, it was very funny. 00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:01.120 <v Matt Houlihan>It was the right after. 00:10:02.320 --> 00:10:11.279 <v Matt Houlihan>We had uh Moses did speak and and spoke to the Bay Area kids and did uh did a thing there, and Costi and Taylor and Marty all did their thing. 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:16.799 <v Matt Houlihan>And yes, it was very much a typical clinic that we would run because there's 75 kids on three courts. 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:26.799 <v Matt Houlihan>But uh the boys got to come in right after we had servant pass and then mobility, and it's just a busy day, and so it's always a balance if you don't want to like overload them where there's a bunch of distractions. 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:35.039 <v Matt Houlihan>But they all came in for you know, they kind of came in in waves of 15, 20, 30 minutes, did high fives, helped out with a drill, and then popped out. 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:45.440 <v Matt Houlihan>And uh Marty and I finished it up, but it was it was just fun to see them experiencing Stanford in a different way and actually being on the floor and being in the practice arena and gym. 00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:47.519 <v Matt Houlihan>Um that was uh that was a cool piece. 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:49.519 <v Matt Houlihan>And then yeah, I I loved that. 00:10:49.600 --> 00:11:11.679 <v Matt Houlihan>Was actually one thing when when you guys were talking, I was out there for maybe 15 minutes at the barbecue, and uh a few of the boys rode by on their bikes, and one of the ideas that sparked into my head for next year was we needed to do the typical football walkout where we like line the we line the walkway and cheer for them as they come by. 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:13.679 <v Matt Houlihan>Um that was that was one of my one of my thoughts. 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:15.039 <v Arielle Houlihan>We'll get a marching band. 00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:22.240 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah, we need to literally I I there's so many ideas that I have for for next year of what we can do. 00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:34.240 <v Matt Houlihan>Um but yeah, that's the that's that's what I wanted to take it to next because obviously we didn't hit our attendance number, but I think we created a very fun event and a fun day that did bring more people in. 00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:37.200 <v Matt Houlihan>We we doubled what we got on Friday, on Saturday. 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:39.120 <v Matt Houlihan>We had just under 1,500. 00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:42.320 <v Matt Houlihan>The the goal was uh 2,175. 00:11:42.639 --> 00:11:47.120 <v Matt Houlihan>So we have room to grow still, but I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts. 00:11:47.200 --> 00:11:55.120 <v Matt Houlihan>If there was anything that stuck out to you of what you would like to try to improve, to add that we can make better for volleyball day in the bay next year. 00:11:55.279 --> 00:11:56.000 <v Matt Houlihan>You want to go first? 00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:57.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>Thank you for asking that. 00:11:58.159 --> 00:12:01.440 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh where were the students? 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:10.720 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh I was just like the I thought that one side was packed, one two, both across the what's end lines? 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:11.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>Both ends. 00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:12.159 <v Arielle Houlihan>Sidelines and endlines. 00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:13.440 <v Arielle Houlihan>Both endlines were great. 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:14.320 <v Arielle Houlihan>Like it was good. 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:24.159 <v Arielle Houlihan>Then the one other side, it was just like they didn't, we've got to seat people over on that side and set up, probably have the chairs set up and get people over on that side. 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:36.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>I think that uh all of the people I look at it from a camera perspective, yeah, of every single person that is taking a photo is taking a photo of the court and you see zero fans on the other side. 00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:40.720 <v Arielle Houlihan>So it didn't look like anybody was there, even though there was a lot of people there. 00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:41.200 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yes. 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:48.960 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um, so we have to make these events look like everybody's there and fill their lower bowl so that we can whatever. 00:12:49.120 --> 00:12:51.759 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's just on the branding side of it. 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:53.840 <v Matt Houlihan>Um 100% true. 00:12:53.919 --> 00:12:54.080 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah. 00:12:54.240 --> 00:12:54.799 <v Matt Houlihan>You need to do that. 00:12:55.039 --> 00:12:55.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yes. 00:12:55.519 --> 00:12:57.039 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh the students. 00:12:57.440 --> 00:13:06.799 <v Arielle Houlihan>I I mean, I don't even put this on on the I think think that the there needs to be some sort of activation to get students there. 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:11.120 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um and whatever that means, we need to make it happen. 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:13.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>Read between the lines on that one. 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:21.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>But uh we need we need to get students there and we need to make it a fun thing for people to do. 00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:26.080 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um and maybe base it around the the calendar for students as well. 00:13:26.320 --> 00:13:39.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>Just like what how do we get the we've got so many people on that campus that can be rowdy and fun and like create a good environment, and we are missing out on that aspect. 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:42.879 <v Matt Houlihan>That definitely was the untapped piece of the audience, no doubt. 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:46.799 <v Arielle Houlihan>And we can't just leave it on the team to go and do that. 00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:57.360 <v Arielle Houlihan>I think that that is something that uh as the adults, we need to make that happen um and give them the uh support to be able to go make that happen. 00:13:57.440 --> 00:14:02.080 <v Arielle Houlihan>It's not just on them to be in there, go bring your friends and have your friends come. 00:14:02.159 --> 00:14:03.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's just not how that works. 00:14:03.679 --> 00:14:05.600 <v Arielle Houlihan>Like we have to get groups of people to come together. 00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:06.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah. 00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:13.759 <v Matt Houlihan>I thought of the uh I thought of getting an A-frame and putting it in the middle of GSB and saying uh 5 p.m. 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:22.639 <v Matt Houlihan>Saturday seed round AI startup interviews at 5 p.m. 00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:23.679 <v Matt Houlihan>in Maples Pavilion. 00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:25.360 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's so funny. 00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:26.639 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's actually hilarious. 00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:29.600 <v Matt Houlihan>Machine learning startup, 5 p.m. 00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:31.440 <v Matt Houlihan>stock options available. 00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:39.840 <v Arielle Houlihan>We should have asked Alex, Chris, to just be like, hey, listen, just put a put a thing out there and be like, I'll talk to whoever, or get a couple like people to come and like be there. 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:41.279 <v Matt Houlihan>We need to hit our target market. 00:14:41.519 --> 00:14:44.159 <v Arielle Houlihan>Exactly, and hit the hit the yeah, that's smart. 00:14:44.320 --> 00:14:45.039 <v SPEAKER_02>What are we doing? 00:14:45.279 --> 00:14:46.320 <v Matt Houlihan>Daniel, what were your thoughts? 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:47.200 <v Matt Houlihan>What would you like to see? 00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:49.679 <v Daniel Rasay>Probably along the same lines as that. 00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:54.720 <v Daniel Rasay>I think the whole student thing was probably just a scheduling thing because it was dead week. 00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:55.039 <v Daniel Rasay>Yeah. 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:59.679 <v Daniel Rasay>A lot of kids leave campus if they don't have finals, and so that was probably part of the issue there. 00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:05.200 <v Daniel Rasay>But you know, some gymnasts came through the tailgate, and I got to chat with them a little bit. 00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:13.600 <v Daniel Rasay>And I think just you know, it's volleyball day in the bay, and I said there was a lot of volleyball community people there, but I think we need to include other people. 00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:17.919 <v Daniel Rasay>The gymnasts were thrilled and like this is so cool and stuff like that. 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:19.200 <v Daniel Rasay>And so interesting. 00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:25.840 <v Daniel Rasay>Just making it volleyball day in the bay, but trying to get people to be like, volleyball's cool, you guys should come check it out. 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:27.840 <v Arielle Houlihan>Ball day in the bay. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:29.279 <v Daniel Rasay>Balls in the bay. 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:31.120 <v Arielle Houlihan>Ball day in the bay. 00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:31.679 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's it. 00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:33.120 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's oh, what are we doing? 00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:33.600 <v Arielle Houlihan>Okay. 00:15:33.840 --> 00:15:34.159 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah. 00:15:34.399 --> 00:15:40.960 <v Daniel Rasay>Um, but yeah, I got to chat with them and some red coats, and I never have nice conversations with red coats, and I did for the first time. 00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:41.360 <v Daniel Rasay>Yeah. 00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:42.320 <v Daniel Rasay>That's so nice. 00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:43.759 <v Daniel Rasay>But they were the world is healing. 00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:53.440 <v Daniel Rasay>I mean, I was feeding them, so um but and then I would have liked to see a little bit more alumni from men's volleyball there as well. 00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:56.559 <v Daniel Rasay>Um Alumni weekend is this upcoming weekend, so that's the thing. 00:15:56.720 --> 00:15:59.360 <v Daniel Rasay>Yeah, that's probably another tough scheduling thing there. 00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:05.519 <v Daniel Rasay>But um at least there's a handful of local ones that probably could have made it two weekends in a row. 00:16:05.759 --> 00:16:07.840 <v Daniel Rasay>But um yeah. 00:16:08.639 --> 00:16:15.919 <v Arielle Houlihan>Ideally, it would be volleyball day in the bay and then alumni game the next day. 00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:19.759 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah, alumni game has always kind of fell on finals week. 00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:20.799 <v Daniel Rasay>Yeah, after finals. 00:16:21.039 --> 00:16:21.679 <v Matt Houlihan>That's really unfortunate. 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:30.559 <v Matt Houlihan>So we were originally because I asked the boys even before I this was this was months and months ago before I was even coaching, like thought I was not coaching. 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.360 <v Matt Houlihan>I asked them, which what day do you want me to make it? 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:35.360 <v Matt Houlihan>And originally we had said UCLA. 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:35.840 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah. 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:41.120 <v Matt Houlihan>The problem was is that UCLA falls on spring break, and so they were like, the students are gonna be gone. 00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:45.200 <v Matt Houlihan>We'd rather try and prioritize the students, and so that's why we shot with this one. 00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:53.919 <v Matt Houlihan>Right? 00:16:54.639 --> 00:17:00.240 <v Matt Houlihan>Uh yeah, I think it just really came down to they wanted the attendance, they wanted to get the students there. 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:01.120 <v Matt Houlihan>But yeah. 00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:04.240 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um I wonder how the attendance will be for UCLA. 00:17:04.480 --> 00:17:05.519 <v Matt Houlihan>It'll probably be pretty good. 00:17:05.680 --> 00:17:07.920 <v Arielle Houlihan>I gotta think it's gonna be good because they are ranked number one. 00:17:08.079 --> 00:17:09.039 <v Matt Houlihan>It was good for Hawaii. 00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:09.279 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah. 00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:17.119 <v Matt Houlihan>Um, yeah, I think there was there's kind of three programs, I think, or four programs that probably traditionally pull some more fans in. 00:17:17.279 --> 00:17:21.119 <v Matt Houlihan>Hawaii's one, they're gonna bring their fans, BYU is one, they bring their own fans. 00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:29.039 <v Matt Houlihan>I think they probably had about 600 fans out of the 1500, if not more, uh, for Friday and Saturday. 00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:33.759 <v Matt Houlihan>And then you have UCLA and Long Beach, just traditionally strong programs. 00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:38.799 <v Matt Houlihan>So I'm sure the the numbers for UCLA will probably be pretty good, even without students anywhere close. 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:39.839 <v Matt Houlihan>It'll be pretty good. 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:52.960 <v Matt Houlihan>I think ideally the one thing I was thinking is I was pushing for the boys was senior night to make senior night be the traditional volleyball day in the bay, because it's you know the weather's gonna be pretty good in the in the end of April. 00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:56.880 <v Matt Houlihan>Timing-wise, it it should work out pretty well. 00:17:57.039 --> 00:17:59.359 <v Matt Houlihan>Um we're we're playing Menlo for our senior night. 00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:01.599 <v Matt Houlihan>I thought that would be cool because it's the other Bay Area team. 00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:03.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>I kind of like that we separated it up. 00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:04.559 <v Matt Houlihan>But no, yeah, I agree. 00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:05.519 <v Matt Houlihan>I think it worked out pretty much. 00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:06.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>Senior night is a lot. 00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:08.079 <v Arielle Houlihan>Senior night's like a lot of things. 00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:10.640 <v Arielle Houlihan>And it there's a lot to get together for it. 00:18:10.720 --> 00:18:14.319 <v Arielle Houlihan>There's a lot of like, I think that that, yes, it's nice to have them. 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:15.599 <v Arielle Houlihan>Jackson's like, I'm bored. 00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:16.400 <v Arielle Houlihan>Get me out of here. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:19.200 <v Matt Houlihan>Speaking of seniors. 00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:20.880 <v Arielle Houlihan>Senior night. 00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:23.279 <v Matt Houlihan>Talking senior night. 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:26.079 <v Matt Houlihan>Um, careful. 00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:28.240 <v Matt Houlihan>Do you want to lay the groundwork for the next one? 00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:49.599 <v Daniel Rasay>Yeah, so um, I don't know if this is just on my feed, but in kind of the food world, there's been some controversy uh with Noma, which has been one of the top restaurants, and their owner, Renee Rizepi, is under fire for kind of his techniques that he's used in the kitchen in the past. 00:18:49.839 --> 00:18:55.119 <v Daniel Rasay>There's been a lot of, I guess, verbal abuse and maybe some actual physical abuse as well that has come up. 00:18:55.200 --> 00:19:04.880 <v Daniel Rasay>I haven't read the article because I didn't want to go through the paywall to pay and read it, but it kind of made me think of um coaching styles as well. 00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:13.599 <v Daniel Rasay>And you know, I I've been a yeller at times um in the gym, but I feel like I've evolved in that. 00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:21.359 <v Daniel Rasay>But uh I think those types of techniques worked in the kitchen back then to get people motivated. 00:19:21.599 --> 00:19:25.279 <v Daniel Rasay>And do those techniques work in the gym now? 00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:40.079 <v Daniel Rasay>Because they also used to work in the gym back in the day as well, and or do coaches need to evolve, or can we still find athletes that are motivated by a little bit of fear and just wanna Matt's like, I don't want to answer this at all. 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:52.240 <v Arielle Houlihan>I also wonder how many people, while Daniel was uh starting to say that, looked at their what they were watching or what they were listening to, and was like, wait, what am I listening? 00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:53.920 <v Arielle Houlihan>What podcast am I listening to right now? 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.119 <v Arielle Houlihan>They're like, cook cooking? 00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:56.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>What are you talking about? 00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:57.440 <v Arielle Houlihan>You really brought it back well, though. 00:19:57.519 --> 00:19:58.799 <v Arielle Houlihan>So well, that's what dog's all about. 00:19:58.880 --> 00:19:59.839 <v Matt Houlihan>It's about a good crossover. 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:01.039 <v Arielle Houlihan>We do love a crossover. 00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:01.519 <v Daniel Rasay>Right. 00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:05.839 <v Daniel Rasay>I mean, I think there's a lot of parallels to cooking and sports. 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:06.240 <v Daniel Rasay>Yeah. 00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:10.880 <v Daniel Rasay>Like the whole if you can't take the heat, get your ass out of the kitchen is like pretty similar to sports. 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:12.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>Or like the cooking and baking. 00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:13.759 <v Matt Houlihan>Cooking and baking, that's right. 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:15.359 <v Arielle Houlihan>Setters who cooker and sets. 00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:16.720 <v Matt Houlihan>We want chefs. 00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:17.839 <v Matt Houlihan>We want chefs, not bakers. 00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:19.759 <v Daniel Rasay>You gotta be prepared for both. 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:25.759 <v Daniel Rasay>There's it's gonna, you're gonna get in the weeds with both, and you gotta figure out how to you know fight your way out of it. 00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:33.039 <v Matt Houlihan>There's plenty there's plenty of movies about being the the the head chef who's just an absolute maniac but delivers results. 00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:36.559 <v Matt Houlihan>One of the I mean, this is this is just leadership, right? 00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:37.039 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah. 00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:45.279 <v Matt Houlihan>And you can paint it however you want from a perspective of the actual job that they're doing, but in reality, what they're trying to do is they're trying to perform. 00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:47.279 <v Matt Houlihan>They're trying to perform in whatever that task may be. 00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:49.119 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh have you played for a yeller? 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:50.559 <v Matt Houlihan>Yes. 00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:52.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>I've played for a yeller. 00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:53.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>Have you played for a yeller? 00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:54.799 <v Arielle Houlihan>I don't think you have. 00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:55.759 <v Arielle Houlihan>I'd say half. 00:20:55.839 --> 00:20:57.039 <v Matt Houlihan>I'd say what's half? 00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:58.559 <v Arielle Houlihan>Who what are you talking about? 00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:06.799 <v Matt Houlihan>I had a high school coach who was half of a yeller, like had a temper, but was able to balance it pretty well. 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:07.680 <v Matt Houlihan>Okay, sure. 00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:08.400 <v Matt Houlihan>Ish. 00:21:08.799 --> 00:21:09.359 <v Matt Houlihan>Ish, yeah. 00:21:09.839 --> 00:21:14.960 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um and what are your thoughts on it? 00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:20.160 <v Matt Houlihan>I think that there are so many different ways to lead. 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:22.640 <v Matt Houlihan>I was talking with Daniel before we started recording. 00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:28.480 <v Matt Houlihan>We I did a the theme of the week last week was confidence for Stanford, and one of the one of the drill names. 00:21:28.799 --> 00:21:30.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>You have a theme of the week too. 00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:30.559 <v Matt Houlihan>Oh yeah. 00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:31.920 <v Matt Houlihan>We have an overarching theme of the week. 00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:34.400 <v Arielle Houlihan>I didn't know you do a theme for the week and then each match. 00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:36.799 <v Matt Houlihan>And then each day has a mini theme within it. 00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:38.480 <v Matt Houlihan>What's that week's theme? 00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:40.799 <v Matt Houlihan>Uh that's an inside joke. 00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:42.559 <v Matt Houlihan>So it's not it's not gonna hit for this one. 00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:43.519 <v Matt Houlihan>Okay, okay, okay. 00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:50.880 <v Matt Houlihan>The the idea was the the theme of the day was weaponized confidence. 00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:53.839 <v Matt Houlihan>And I was using an example of Steve Jobs. 00:21:54.000 --> 00:22:01.839 <v Matt Houlihan>So Steve Jobs was known for having a reality distortion field around him, meaning that he just Refuse to accept what other people would tell me. 00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:03.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>Moses is captioned today. 00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:03.599 <v Matt Houlihan>I know. 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:04.799 <v Matt Houlihan>So it obviously connects. 00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:07.599 <v Matt Houlihan>I saw that and kind of got a little got a little choked up and proud. 00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:09.920 <v Matt Houlihan>I was like, ah, nobody's listening to me. 00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:11.039 <v Matt Houlihan>We're seeping in. 00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:11.200 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah. 00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:15.519 <v Matt Houlihan>Moses actually has been helping me in the writer's room pre-practice as I'm writing my stuff. 00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:18.640 <v Matt Houlihan>He'll he'll let let me hear his thoughts, so that's been good. 00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:24.559 <v Matt Houlihan>But the idea was I refuse to accept mediocrity. 00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:26.559 <v Matt Houlihan>That's what Steve Jobs basically would go through. 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:36.079 <v Matt Houlihan>It'd be like the iPhone's gonna take two years to develop, and he'd say, You have six weeks, and they would get it done, like some small piece of the iPhone, whatever it was. 00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:45.039 <v Matt Houlihan>And he would just push because the the quote was basically that most people are not used to being held to a standard of excellence. 00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:53.920 <v Matt Houlihan>And so Steve Jobs was a a noted horrible person, quote, to work for because he would verbally abuse you. 00:22:54.079 --> 00:22:57.519 <v Matt Houlihan>He would he would run you into the ground. 00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:00.559 <v Matt Houlihan>And there are many people and many facets that do that. 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.839 <v Matt Houlihan>Doesn't mean that I think that's that's not how I act. 00:23:04.079 --> 00:23:13.200 <v Matt Houlihan>I think I'm more I go along the lines of trying to be more evolved in the sense of you need to communicate and meet people where they are at. 00:23:13.519 --> 00:23:19.920 <v Matt Houlihan>And you know, you get more, you get more with honey than with I don't know what the saying is. 00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:21.519 <v Matt Houlihan>Fill in your saying here. 00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:26.000 <v Matt Houlihan>You get more with uh catch more flies with honey than with sea salt. 00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:26.400 <v Matt Houlihan>I don't know. 00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:40.319 <v Arielle Houlihan>This episode is going to take a pause really quick because Matt has been very, very known for butchering, butchering sayings like this, and so much so that we used to have a Twitter account called Glass Boats back in. 00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:41.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>It still exists. 00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:41.599 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah. 00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:44.400 <v Matt Houlihan>Go look up at Glass Boats on X. 00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:45.200 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah, on X. 00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:50.319 <v Arielle Houlihan>And it was just things that Matt messed up, and it was it's actually crazy. 00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:53.599 <v Arielle Houlihan>I'm gonna read them in a blooper section for this podcast at Wilder Party. 00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:56.160 <v Arielle Houlihan>Maybe at the end of this podcast, I'll pull it up. 00:23:56.400 --> 00:23:56.960 <v Arielle Houlihan>Keep going. 00:23:57.200 --> 00:23:58.480 <v Matt Houlihan>I feel like Daniel's looking it up right now. 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:00.799 <v Daniel Rasay>You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. 00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:01.279 <v Matt Houlihan>Oh, okay. 00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:01.599 <v Matt Houlihan>There you go. 00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:01.759 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah. 00:24:01.839 --> 00:24:02.319 <v Matt Houlihan>So yeah, exactly. 00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:03.359 <v Arielle Houlihan>Oh, you're looking that up. 00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:03.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah. 00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:05.680 <v Arielle Houlihan>Oh, wait until you hear the ones that he's messed up. 00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:22.079 <v Matt Houlihan>To put the pin in my part for Daniel's side, I think there's absolutely coaches that can perform and can get the most out of their team by verbally going after them. 00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:24.000 <v Matt Houlihan>I absolutely think that that that is the case. 00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:26.000 <v Matt Houlihan>Do I think that that is right for every athlete? 00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:26.720 <v Matt Houlihan>Absolutely not. 00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:29.200 <v Matt Houlihan>I think it's very challenging for a lot of athletes. 00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:42.000 <v Matt Houlihan>But if the overarching understanding of trust is there that what we're aiming for is excellence, and the reason why I'm yelling is because you're not living up to the standard of excellence, there's something there. 00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:45.519 <v Matt Houlihan>And some athletes really do connect with that, and that is okay. 00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:52.960 <v Matt Houlihan>I think a lot of athletes are not that and struggle with that and can really cower away from it. 00:24:53.279 --> 00:24:57.680 <v Matt Houlihan>Um, so it's it's a it's kind of an input-output thing. 00:24:57.759 --> 00:25:02.559 <v Matt Houlihan>You need the right people around you to be able to be that coach, and so you have to recruit to that. 00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:06.880 <v Matt Houlihan>What's your thoughts on that? 00:25:07.279 --> 00:25:12.400 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh I think that there are a lot of ways to do things, which is what you said. 00:25:12.559 --> 00:25:14.960 <v Arielle Houlihan>There are there are a lot of ways to do things. 00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:29.279 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh I think that the reason why the culture has shifted is because people are not okay with abuse. 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:48.079 <v Arielle Houlihan>There is a there is a very, very, very uh hard line on what people used to do, coaches, chefs, leaders, that what people used to do that was borderline, if not over the line, of abuse. 00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:59.200 <v Arielle Houlihan>And so culture shifted with the abuse getting called out, and people now can't get away with doing the things that they used to do because it was borderline abuse. 00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:08.880 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um that being said, I think that people crave discipline and people crave a structure. 00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:23.200 <v Arielle Houlihan>There's a reason the military is as in line as they are because the structure and the discipline is so healthy and is so good, and the the way that you go about that is different in different settings. 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:37.839 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um I my personal style is uh I would say that it's when they think that they're good, that's when I'm harder on them. 00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:43.440 <v Arielle Houlihan>And it's when they are struggling, it's when I'm giving them grace at times. 00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:46.799 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um, there's also times where I'm it just depends. 00:26:46.880 --> 00:26:51.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>I'm always gauging uh where they are at, where I am at, where we are at. 00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:54.319 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um that's that's always something that I'm gauging. 00:26:54.559 --> 00:27:08.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>But uh in the practice gym of being the drill sergeant or the that has never been my style, but I also am very uh strict in certain things. 00:27:08.319 --> 00:27:12.880 <v Arielle Houlihan>So the yelling and screaming, I think is there is a time and a place. 00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:16.160 <v Arielle Houlihan>I don't I wouldn't say that no, I'm not a yeller. 00:27:16.799 --> 00:27:23.599 <v Arielle Houlihan>I don't I don't think that I always I'm always like that, but yeah, I have the I will yell if I need to. 00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:32.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um if I believe that my the level of my voice is going to affect the impact that I need to make, I have the level there and I can raise it. 00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:39.599 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um but it's the abuse that I see as the reason for the change. 00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:47.359 <v Matt Houlihan>I think we can all agree that there's a there's just a hard line on you can't go bop portucci and slap the kid across the across the face during things. 00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:50.640 <v Arielle Houlihan>That was insane when that happened. 00:27:50.799 --> 00:28:08.160 <v Arielle Houlihan>But like even the the borderline abuse, that is what that is what in our sport we've had uh we still have an issue with especially in college coaching on the borderline abuse. 00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:10.160 <v Arielle Houlihan>What does that actually look like? 00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:17.359 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um whether it's mental abuse, whether it's physical abuse, whether that physical abuse is so much easier to see happen. 00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:19.200 <v Arielle Houlihan>The mental abuse is not. 00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:22.559 <v Arielle Houlihan>It's not the emotional abuse is not easy to see. 00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:26.160 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um, and it does not mean it's not real and it's not valid and it's not there. 00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:33.440 <v Arielle Houlihan>So I think that that's where uh the the over the line abuse is so easy. 00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:39.200 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's that's where people have gotten fired and in trouble, and that's an easy one. 00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:47.119 <v Arielle Houlihan>It's the borderline abuse that that is where uh where people are like, uh, is that okay that you do that? 00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:59.200 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's not that's where we're talking, uh I feel uh pretty strongly on like reasons why you're doing what you're doing and who that involves. 00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:03.920 <v Arielle Houlihan>Like that there has to be so much intention in the way that you are taking care of kids. 00:29:04.079 --> 00:29:04.319 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah. 00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:06.880 <v Matt Houlihan>I want to have let Daniel have the final word on this. 00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:17.680 <v Matt Houlihan>The one thought I had after after hearing you speak there, I think sometimes I this is what I feel when I'm parenting and struggling with my own daughters on my own frustration coming up. 00:29:17.759 --> 00:29:28.319 <v Matt Houlihan>And when I raise my voice at them, I usually feel that it comes from a place where I'm actually just frustrated with myself because I can't come up with the right words to get through to them. 00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:36.000 <v Matt Houlihan>And so I will raise my voice because either I feel like they're just not they're not connecting or not listening. 00:29:36.079 --> 00:29:40.319 <v Matt Houlihan>Uh, but in reality, most of the time it's just I'm not connecting with them on the right level for it. 00:29:40.559 --> 00:29:54.000 <v Matt Houlihan>So that's just one one aspect where I felt like I sense when I do that, uh, more often than not, it's more my own issue than it is like my children or even my athletes. 00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:54.240 <v Matt Houlihan>Right? 00:29:54.319 --> 00:30:03.839 <v Matt Houlihan>There's times where I yell at an athlete because I think they're just they're not paying attention and they're disregarding what I'm saying because they're not focused or whatever it may be. 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:15.519 <v Matt Houlihan>And more often than not, when I look back and I reflect on it, I think, oh, actually, I just didn't do a good job of explaining what it is that I needed to that person, and I need to do a better job as a coach in that moment. 00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:17.599 <v Matt Houlihan>But Daniel, final word for you. 00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:23.839 <v Matt Houlihan>I know you you have spent probably more time than anyone in terms of reflecting on the best way to communicate to athletes. 00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:25.440 <v Matt Houlihan>So what's your thoughts on this? 00:30:25.839 --> 00:30:34.000 <v Daniel Rasay>So I think sports is an intense environment to be in, and sometimes you're in a loud gym and you just need to yell as well. 00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:42.559 <v Daniel Rasay>And I think it is how they are filtering or interpreting the tone and the words that are coming out. 00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:49.359 <v Daniel Rasay>And that's it takes more than just yelling at them to understand that, it takes conversations on the side. 00:30:49.680 --> 00:31:06.160 <v Daniel Rasay>I adopted um I guess a technique of if I did need more intensity and I did raise my voice, there was always a follow-up conversation with every one of the athletes and say, Hey, I got heated, you know, it's the competitiveness in me. 00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:09.599 <v Daniel Rasay>I believe you had more in you, and I was trying to get that out of you. 00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:10.880 <v Daniel Rasay>That may not work. 00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:16.960 <v Daniel Rasay>It I mean, I did see you kind of change what you were doing there, so that was great, but that's not how I want to motivate you. 00:31:17.039 --> 00:31:22.079 <v Daniel Rasay>I'd like you to figure out how to do that so I don't have to be the one that's doing the motivating. 00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:33.359 <v Daniel Rasay>And in every follow-up conversation I've pretty much had, every athlete's been like, no, I understood what what I needed to do, and it was you know, in the conversations that we had outside of that, and I think that's important. 00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:55.519 <v Daniel Rasay>I I've been having more of those conversations with my kids as well as a parent of like, you know, today, even my son was I told him to do his homework, he wasn't doing it, he laid around, he wasn't doing it, and then he said he didn't know how to do it, but he made no attempt, so obviously I was like, Kellen, and I raised my tone and we had a follow-up conversation, and he understood. 00:31:55.759 --> 00:32:13.119 <v Daniel Rasay>And so it takes some time and some effort and some emotional intelligence, but I do think that we as parents and we as coaches need to have conversations so that their filter is getting the information that they need in order to be the best versions of themselves. 00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:14.960 <v SPEAKER_02>Agreed. 00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:18.240 <v Matt Houlihan>Look how much this podcast is evolving, guys. 00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:19.200 <v Matt Houlihan>Look at us. 00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:20.720 <v Matt Houlihan>This is amazing. 00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:23.039 <v Matt Houlihan>Emotional Chad over here. 00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:24.480 <v Matt Houlihan>Emotional intelligence. 00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:25.519 <v Matt Houlihan>Chad left. 00:32:25.680 --> 00:32:27.119 <v Matt Houlihan>Chad, senior Chad. 00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:28.559 <v Matt Houlihan>Chad's laying on the floor down there. 00:32:28.799 --> 00:32:29.759 <v Matt Houlihan>Yeah, that's the thing. 00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:32.960 <v Matt Houlihan>I mean, that is actually one thing that's Jackson has in common with Chad. 00:32:33.039 --> 00:32:34.400 <v Matt Houlihan>They're both stubborn as hell. 00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:36.000 <v Matt Houlihan>Both those guys. 00:32:36.400 --> 00:32:36.720 <v Matt Houlihan>All right. 00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:38.079 <v Matt Houlihan>That's uh Is this it? 00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:39.759 <v Arielle Houlihan>Oh no, no, no, it's not it. 00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:40.720 <v Arielle Houlihan>It's not it. 00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:44.319 <v Matt Houlihan>We gotta Chad's The Blind Wedding Wup Date. 00:32:44.480 --> 00:32:46.000 <v Arielle Houlihan>Chad's wedding whop date. 00:32:46.160 --> 00:32:47.599 <v Arielle Houlihan>Are we excited for this, everybody? 00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:50.240 <v Matt Houlihan>I I purposely said do not open it so we can hear it. 00:32:50.400 --> 00:32:50.960 <v Matt Houlihan>Okay, show more. 00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:55.039 <v Matt Houlihan>The transcription is wild. 00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:57.200 <v Arielle Houlihan>Okay, ready, everybody? 00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:00.160 <v SPEAKER_01>Don't talk to me that name. 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:01.839 <v SPEAKER_01>Lacey Bobby. 00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:03.279 <v SPEAKER_01>It's our 43rd take. 00:33:03.359 --> 00:33:03.839 <v SPEAKER_01>It's five. 00:33:05.039 --> 00:33:12.319 <v SPEAKER_01>Good evening, friends, and welcome to episode six of the weekly wedding roundup. 00:33:12.799 --> 00:33:26.880 <v SPEAKER_01>Lacey and I have spent the last seven days here in Manhattan uh touring wedding venues from private clubs on the upper east side to some black tie friendly and playful hotels uh that also bring some funk that we think could be cool. 00:33:27.599 --> 00:33:31.279 <v SPEAKER_01>No decisions haven't made yet, uh, but we'll continue to ponder. 00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:37.519 <v SPEAKER_01>I myself have been to a couple of different fashion spots that I did not agree to. 00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:45.200 <v SPEAKER_01>Uh, the first being a vintage clothing store where I bought a dinner jacket from 1902. 00:33:45.920 --> 00:33:49.599 <v SPEAKER_01>So we'll see if that thing survives until the actual wedding. 00:33:50.240 --> 00:33:54.319 <v SPEAKER_01>But it's been in 125 years, so I like its chances. 00:33:54.799 --> 00:34:08.480 <v SPEAKER_01>Um this morning I went to a fine tailoring shop and tried on some different jackets, and uh got the vibe for the black tie vibe, if you will. 00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:16.079 <v SPEAKER_01>And yeah, we have uh eaten at many amazing restaurants, our planner, Big Joe. 00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:22.639 <v SPEAKER_01>Jesse's been amazing, has really opened some doors for us that we probably would not have been able to open ourselves. 00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:31.440 <v SPEAKER_01>Uh, but at this point, we have no venue, no attire, and a bunch of decisions to make. 00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:34.239 <v SPEAKER_01>But I think overall it's been a phenomenally productive week. 00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:36.480 <v SPEAKER_01>Lacey has been drunk shopping all week. 00:34:36.559 --> 00:34:37.599 <v SPEAKER_01>It's been great. 00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:41.920 <v SPEAKER_01>Uh but we are both ready to sleep our own, sleep in our own bed. 00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:44.559 <v SPEAKER_02>You say we're vetting venue options? 00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:46.400 <v SPEAKER_01>We are vetting venue options. 00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:51.599 <v SPEAKER_01>No, that's what we are wedding venue options? 00:34:51.760 --> 00:34:52.320 <v SPEAKER_01>What are you talking about? 00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:53.679 <v SPEAKER_02>Did you talk? 00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:55.199 <v SPEAKER_02>Did you say anything about the venue options? 00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:57.039 <v SPEAKER_01>Yeah, that's literally what I just did. 00:34:57.280 --> 00:34:58.719 <v SPEAKER_02>You said we have no venue options. 00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:00.000 <v SPEAKER_01>No, we have all the venue options. 00:35:01.360 --> 00:35:05.440 <v SPEAKER_01>All right, credit group chat until week 11. 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.559 <v SPEAKER_01>This is the wedding update to send it off. 00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:09.519 <v Arielle Houlihan>Oh my goodness. 00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:10.079 <v Arielle Houlihan>That's it. 00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:11.039 <v Arielle Houlihan>Chad's fired. 00:35:11.119 --> 00:35:13.199 <v Arielle Houlihan>He only can send us voice notes from now on. 00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:14.320 <v Arielle Houlihan>That was incredible. 00:35:14.559 --> 00:35:16.480 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh, it sounded like he wrote some of that out. 00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:16.880 <v Arielle Houlihan>Yeah, yeah. 00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:20.639 <v Matt Houlihan>Uh for a moment I was like, Chat GBT, but then I was like Chad GBT. 00:35:20.800 --> 00:35:23.599 <v Matt Houlihan>But then I was like, no, there's definitely some personal personalized Chad touch. 00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:24.000 <v Matt Houlihan>Oh my god. 00:35:24.079 --> 00:35:24.639 <v Matt Houlihan>It's Claude. 00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:27.280 <v Matt Houlihan>He's downloaded his brain into Claude. 00:35:27.519 --> 00:35:29.199 <v Matt Houlihan>Claude wrote that for him. 00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:37.199 <v Arielle Houlihan>Um okay, well, that was uh Chad's weekend, wedding weekend update. 00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:42.159 <v Arielle Houlihan>Uh and we will see you next week. 00:35:43.039 --> 00:35:54.320 <v Matt Houlihan>On another rousing, raucous, rambunctious, and emotionally intelligent episode of the Coach's Group Chat. 00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:55.440 <v Matt Houlihan>Wait.