7 Step Framework for Excellent Communication: A Journey of Growth from Renee Marino

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<v Speaker 1>And I looked at the casting director in the eyes and I said I was really hoping to come in and read for the role of Mary Delgado.

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<v Speaker 1>So I do the audition.

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<v Speaker 1>Two weeks later my agent calls me.

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<v Speaker 2>You're Mary Delgado in the movie Clint Eastwood Loves you and I was like, oh, Renee Marino is going to blow you away today, everything from what she learned from Clint Eastwood right through to how she got the job of being on a Broadway stage.

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<v Speaker 2>Being on a Broadway stage, being on a Vegas stage doing Pretty Woman, doing the Jersey Boys, you name it.

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<v Speaker 2>She played that act.

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<v Speaker 2>Author of the best-selling book, master Communicator, renee Marino.

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<v Speaker 1>If I didn't speak up in the audition room that day, I could have missed my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

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<v Speaker 1>Talk from the heart, because speaking up is your superpower.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's dive in with Renee Marino.

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<v Speaker 2>So, Renee, your definition of success.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you see it?

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<v Speaker 1>Doing what you love and making money while doing it, baby, that is success.

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<v Speaker 1>Getting to do that thing that lights you up, that fires you up and you get a paycheck.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that's a win-win.

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<v Speaker 1>And funny enough, brad, years ago, when I was pursuing my Broadway career and I was 21 years old and I got my first professional job as the lead singer in a casino show in Biloxi, mississippi, I'll never forget getting my first paycheck and I call my mom from the balcony of my hotel room and I'm overlooking the Gulf, and I go mom, I just got paid to do what I love.

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<v Speaker 1>I just got paid to do my hobby.

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<v Speaker 1>This is amazing, and that feeling for me was just, was just, wow, I want to.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to do this for the rest of my life, and I also believe that success is laying your head down on the pillow at night and feeling beautifully exhausted because you used up all your energy on doing that thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, when do you think in life you chose success?

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<v Speaker 2>Was it as a young girl?

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<v Speaker 2>Was it at that 21?

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<v Speaker 2>Was it later in life?

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<v Speaker 2>Like, where did you choose success as your performance standard?

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<v Speaker 1>definitely when I was a little girl.

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<v Speaker 1>I I can remember being about five years old and I was always a perfectionist from the time I was a little girl and when I was in kindergarten, if you remember I don't know if this is how it was when, where you grow up, but like you were learning how to write your ABCs and they had those big lines and you'd have to write the letter A and then B and I remember doing it and then erasing it because I didn't think it was perfect, and then doing it again and then erasing it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I would end up in tears and the only one who could calm me down was my father, and I just remember always having this drive within me to want to be successful, and for me, even as a little girl, that meant making my parents proud, being the one in my family who helped everybody as much as I could.

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<v Speaker 1>It's interesting because I remember that from such a young age.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember as a kid also thinking about everything that my parents thought was most important, and I remember also then thinking in the high school-ish years what my friends thought was most important, and then I realized, hang on, it's what I think is most important is actually the reality.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you transition through that?

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<v Speaker 2>Was the acting, was doing the movies?

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<v Speaker 2>Where did that transition come for you?

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<v Speaker 1>the transition from from realizing that it was about myself.

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<v Speaker 1>You mean, yeah, I have to.

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<v Speaker 1>I have to give all compliments to my parents.

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<v Speaker 1>I was very blessed to to grow up in a very loving home with my mom, my dad, my, my grandmother who was like my second mother and my older brother, and we were always extremely loving, communicative and from the time I was very young, my father always told me Renee, you always have to be true and stay true to yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>The world is going to try to change you, the world's going to try to knock you down, but you always stay true to who you are and everything else will fall into place.

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<v Speaker 1>So, thank goodness, I was grounded from that young age through his advice and that really just helped to shape me for the rest of my life.

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<v Speaker 2>So, if you think about that, your family gave you a lot of the foundations of success.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you now have like a formula for success, or do you have like a you gotta, you know, not just work hard, you gotta do like.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you have a thing?

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<v Speaker 2>These are the components of success.

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<v Speaker 1>I believe that having work life harmony is key.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to have that, at least for myself.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody's different, but if I am not balancing my work days with those times with my family last night I was in New York city seeing a Broadway show with my friends I have to have that because that's what allows me to to keep and maintain that success.

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<v Speaker 1>Otherwise we can burn out.

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<v Speaker 1>Otherwise it's easy to just keep thinking about all the things that you have to get done and the things you have to do.

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<v Speaker 1>It never ends right, because once you do one thing then 10 other things are on your to-do list.

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<v Speaker 1>So really having that work-life harmony more effectively to create those genuine connections that lead to opportunity, so as far as success, in that sense, I have a seven-step connect method which helps people to do that simply and effectively, and that's something that's been really, really beneficial for my clients.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to come to that connect story in a second.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to go back though a little way Getting Broadway.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's talk Broadway just for a second.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to go back though a little way getting Broadway.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's talk Broadway just for a second.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, obviously there's a lot of no's on the way to the yes.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell me more about that process and how you dealt with that, like mentally or emotionally.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you do that?

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<v Speaker 1>Brad, it is no joke, and that's why I believe the entertainment industry being a musical theater artist, Broadway is one of the hardest industries in the world because it is more're not ethnic enough.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, when you talk about rejections, I have faced thousands upon thousands of rejections and it all goes back to what I shared with you, that foundation of staying grounded in who you are.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's funny because step two of my connect method is owning who you are, and that's what it's about being so clear on who you are.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you find that, though?

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<v Speaker 2>I know your parents gave you a head start on helping find who you are, but how did you?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you define it?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you find it?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you create it?

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<v Speaker 2>What was your methodology?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, so much, you know we're, we're, we are shaped so deeply from the time we're young, right, I think they say up until you, they say up until the age of seven or eight.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, those are such informative years and because I learned that at such a young age from my parents, then when I went into the world taking dance class, right, I was in dance from the time I was five years old.

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<v Speaker 1>I was able to not just hear those words and the advice I was given, but I was able to put it into action.

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<v Speaker 1>So when I was in dance class and my dance teacher would say, oh, here comes so-and-so, she has such beautiful long legs.

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<v Speaker 1>And here I am, five one and petite, I had to.

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<v Speaker 1>I had to.

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<v Speaker 1>I had to listen to my dad's voice in my head saying you're good enough, Stay true to yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>So, even though sometimes it would hurt, I would talk to myself and remind myself okay, Renee, this means sure, you may be short and maybe oftentimes dancers are tall, but that means you're going to work harder.

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<v Speaker 1>So that really, I think, shaped my work ethic and allowed me to really lean into hard work and putting in that hustle, because that's when the magic happens.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not when we just sit back and talk about the things we want to do.

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<v Speaker 1>It's when we put the action.

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<v Speaker 2>So hang on, let's talk about the distinction, cause I think this is a fun part.

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<v Speaker 2>Playing Vegas versus playing New York, what's the difference?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, my goodness.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, first of all, in Vegas, the shows are cut.

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<v Speaker 1>They're shorter, right, because people-.

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<v Speaker 2>Get them back to the slot machines.

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<v Speaker 2>Get them back to the slot machines.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to win some money, so the shows are quicker, quicker paced in Vegas, which is really fun.

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<v Speaker 1>I enjoyed that.

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<v Speaker 1>But when you're in New York, man, there's nothing like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Being on the Great white way, like knowing you are on a Broadway stage right, that's like saying I'm a quarterback in the NFL, like it's just, you've reached the top echelon of your industry, so it's.

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<v Speaker 1>It's really, in a way, no comparison.

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<v Speaker 2>So okay, working with Clint Eastwood, let's talk about that one for a second.

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<v Speaker 1>Brad, I value nothing more in life than truly genuine people, and Clint Eastwood is one of the best.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, my story is so incredible and interesting because I was performing on Broadway in 2013 as Frankie Valli's wife in Jersey Boys and it was a Sunday matinee and I look back and who's staring at me from 10 rows back but the legend himself, clint Eastwood?

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<v Speaker 1>And after the show, listen on Broadway.

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<v Speaker 1>Tons of celebrities come to see shows, but this was like wow this is legend.

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<v Speaker 2>This isn't just a celeb.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and we got word soon after that he was going to be directing the film version of the musical.

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<v Speaker 1>And truth be told, brad, I didn't even think twice about it because I said they're going to hire A-list celebrities out of Los Angeles.

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<v Speaker 1>Marissa Tomei is going to play my role Like I've never done TV or film before.

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<v Speaker 1>So I didn't even think twice, until they were looking for someone to play my role of Mary Delgado.

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<v Speaker 1>So at this point my agent and I tried and tried to get me an audition.

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<v Speaker 1>Weeks go by, my agent calls me.

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<v Speaker 1>She says Renee, I'm so sorry, I don't know what the problem is.

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<v Speaker 1>They said they won't give you an audition for Mary Delgado, but they'll give you one for one of the smaller roles, one of the angels who sings my boyfriend's back.

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<v Speaker 1>And I hung up the phone so disappointed and confused because every girl I knew on Broadway was getting an audition for Mary Delgado, but me, meanwhile, I'm playing the role at the highest level you could be and I'll never forget sitting on my couch, taking some time to communicate with myself, feel my feelings.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I threw my hands up and I said what am I gonna do?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still gonna go in and audition for one of the angels Day of the audition.

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<v Speaker 1>The casting director says Renee, would you like to sing my boyfriend's back or read the scene first?

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<v Speaker 1>And at that moment I heard this quiet little voice within me say you have to do this.

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<v Speaker 1>It feels too right.

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<v Speaker 1>And I looked at the casting director in the eyes and I said you know, jeff, I was really hoping to come in and read for the role of Mary Delgado.

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<v Speaker 1>I had no idea what he was going to say.

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<v Speaker 1>And he looks back at me and he goes.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just thinking the same thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like amazing, great, so I do the audition.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel so good.

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<v Speaker 1>I leave there so grateful because I just wanted the chance.

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<v Speaker 1>Two weeks later, my agent calls me.

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<v Speaker 1>You're Mary Delgado in the movie.

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<v Speaker 1>Clint Eastwood loves you.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was like, oh, like one of the most surreal moments of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>That first day I walk in the, our first location to film.

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<v Speaker 1>It felt like jumping off of a cliff.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd never been on a TV or film set before.

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<v Speaker 1>And Clint walks up to me and he goes.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I went around to all the different casts but nobody was in your class.

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<v Speaker 1>And then you came in and put yourself on tape.

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<v Speaker 1>And it was the icing on the cake.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm like trying to hold back tears, right, I didn't even film my first scene yet.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that first day and every day that followed, when we were finished shooting for the day, I would sit and eat lunch with Clint Eastwood, ask him every question I could and listen in a complete way, because, just like many of you listening, I'm a sponge and I like to use every opportunity to learn and to grow.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, a month into the film, I'm eating lunch with Clint Eastwood and one of the producers of the film, because eating is really my favorite thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm Italian and I'm talking with them, and they start chatting about how Clint knew he wanted me for the role when he saw me on Broadway and I said wait a minute.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you guys want to hear a funny story?

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<v Speaker 1>I never got an audition for the role of Mary Delgado.

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<v Speaker 1>The only reason I got to read the scenes is because I opened up my big mouth in the room and asked, and the two of them looked at each other.

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<v Speaker 1>They said wait, what do you mean?

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<v Speaker 1>We requested you.

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<v Speaker 1>We said we want the girl from the Broadway show to come into this audition, and I found out that day, brad, that there was a middle person casting associate juggling a few films at once, and just dropped the ball.

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<v Speaker 1>So, in other words, if I did not have the ability to speak up and communicate my desire in the room that day, I could have missed my once in a lifetime opportunity.

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<v Speaker 1>I could have been sitting in the movie theater watching Jersey Boys instead of on the screen in Jersey Boys, never knowing.

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<v Speaker 1>Clint Eastwood was waiting for me to walk through that door.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it's such a fun thing when you get to meet amazing people and learn from them.

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<v Speaker 2>I love that story.

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<v Speaker 2>What are one or two of the things that Clint Eastwood taught you, though?

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<v Speaker 2>If you're sitting at lunch with Clint Eastwood that many times, he's got to have taught you some amazing stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, I have a journal filled of what I learned from Clint Eastwood.

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<v Speaker 1>I would journal every day when I'm coming from set.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the greatest days of my life was when we were filming the breakup scene.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you haven't had seen the Jersey Boys movie, you have to watch it now.

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<v Speaker 1>So Frankie and I are breaking up and Mary my character is drunk and she's pissed off and they're walking up the stairs right and Frankie's following her and we do the scene once.

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<v Speaker 1>And then Clint's like all right, now I want you to really give it to him.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm like okay, so I get myself ready and we're walking up the stairs and I start the lines and I'm like you show up for a couple of days and you think that makes you a father and all of a sudden I just start screaming because I forget all my lines.

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<v Speaker 1>They just leave my brain.

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<v Speaker 1>Sudden I just start screaming because I forget all my lines.

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<v Speaker 1>They just leave my brain.

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<v Speaker 1>Pick it up.

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<v Speaker 1>A few seconds later.

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<v Speaker 1>I continue the scene.

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<v Speaker 1>He yells cut and he was like that was it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I go Clint, I just forgot all my lines.

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<v Speaker 1>He goes I don't care, it was real and it was raw and that's good, when I was filming with Meryl and I'm like, oh my God, he's talking to me about Meryl Streep.

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<v Speaker 1>Good, when I was filming with Meryl and I'm like, oh my God, he's talking to me about Meryl Streep.

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<v Speaker 1>She used to do a million takes of her scenes until they were perfect, until one day I filmed a rehearsal take and I showed it to her and she saw how raw and organic it was.

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<v Speaker 1>She never did a million takes again, and that was the day that I learned about the beauty of imperfection.

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<v Speaker 1>That was the day that I learned about the beauty of imperfection.

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<v Speaker 1>Imperfection is what's real, and when we lean into that imperfection, that's when we connect with people the most.

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<v Speaker 1>In that sense, it was from an acting standpoint, right, think about it.

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<v Speaker 1>When you're really pissed off, sometimes you forget what you're going to say.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's what happened, right, and that was real and it, for me, re like, shaped my whole life, and now I share this when I work with clients, and I shared this with family and friends, like the parts of ourselves we often want to hide the most are the ones that connect us with others the most, and that day he taught me that Uh, we could tell stories for days, but I also want to get to a couple other parts.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you decide that that career was okay?

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<v Speaker 2>I've done the movies, done the Broadway, done Vegas.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you decide to move to the next career?

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<v Speaker 2>Because I think a lot of people, when they're talking about success, struggle with the decision for the next career or that sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's a great, great question.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, after I did the film, I lived in LA.

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<v Speaker 1>I did a couple TV shows commercial.

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<v Speaker 1>I wrote my one-woman show.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a beautiful experience.

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<v Speaker 1>And then my husband and I decided to move back to the East Coast, where we're from, and I went back to Broadway.

00:16:31.153 --> 00:16:34.677
<v Speaker 1>I missed the community of Broadway and I auditioned for Pretty Woman, the musical.

00:16:34.677 --> 00:16:36.138
<v Speaker 1>I booked it.

00:16:36.138 --> 00:16:56.816
<v Speaker 1>So I found myself back on Broadway, phones, right Caught between behind a screen, no one's really connecting, and I was like, huh, no wonder why people have problems in their relationships personally and professionally.

00:16:56.816 --> 00:17:00.630
<v Speaker 1>So I knew that I wanted I always wanted to write a book.

00:17:00.650 --> 00:17:02.899
<v Speaker 1>I've always written children's books.

00:17:02.899 --> 00:17:13.083
<v Speaker 1>I write personalized children's books for my nieces and nephews, but I always wanted a traditionally published book and I knew that I wanted it to be about communication.

00:17:13.083 --> 00:17:26.891
<v Speaker 1>But I didn't know what aspect until I was at a restaurant with a friend of mine during the time I was doing pretty woman and a family of five sits next to us a mom and dad, teenage son and two young kids under the age of six.

00:17:26.891 --> 00:17:29.919
<v Speaker 1>The entire meal no one spoke.

00:17:29.919 --> 00:17:39.518
<v Speaker 1>They all had their heads down in a digital device and my heart broke because I thought back to my family sitting around the kitchen table where you could always find us.

00:17:39.518 --> 00:17:44.977
<v Speaker 1>That was our time of connection, and they were missing out on these beautiful moments of connection.

00:17:44.977 --> 00:17:47.771
<v Speaker 1>And I said, boom, that's what this book needs to be about.

00:17:47.771 --> 00:17:54.144
<v Speaker 1>Right, it's called Becoming a Master Communicator, balancing New School Technology with Old School Simplicity.

00:17:54.711 --> 00:17:58.282
<v Speaker 1>And I started writing the book while I was doing the Broadway show.

00:17:58.282 --> 00:18:07.451
<v Speaker 1>So when that Broadway show closed, I had this sense, brad, and I said to myself I'm ready to activate my other God-given gifts.

00:18:07.451 --> 00:18:12.674
<v Speaker 1>I really believe that the purpose of our lives is to use every gift we were given.

00:18:12.674 --> 00:18:17.564
<v Speaker 1>And for me, I felt this need to kind of start a new chapter.

00:18:17.564 --> 00:18:22.382
<v Speaker 1>Never did I say I'm done with acting or performing, because I'll always be a performer.

00:18:22.382 --> 00:18:26.960
<v Speaker 1>But I was just ready to start a new chapter, didn't know exactly what that was.

00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:31.612
<v Speaker 1>I knew I wanted to have my book get published and start speaking.

00:18:32.133 --> 00:18:41.782
<v Speaker 1>So I took a course from Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi on how to start a business, started watching that course every day and a month later the world shut down.

00:18:41.782 --> 00:18:49.346
<v Speaker 1>So it was almost as if it was chosen for me because I couldn't have performed even if I wanted to.

00:18:49.346 --> 00:18:55.881
<v Speaker 1>So right away I saw a need for people to be able to get on video with confidence.

00:18:55.881 --> 00:18:58.152
<v Speaker 1>I mean, the world now became virtual.

00:18:58.152 --> 00:19:11.152
<v Speaker 1>Most people, especially business owners, entrepreneurs they didn't know how to do that, so I created a course, a workshop course on uh called connecting on camera, and that's kind of how it started flowing.

00:19:11.211 --> 00:19:23.270
<v Speaker 1>And from there I just I took one imperfect action, step after another, and I think that's just a great piece of guidance for anyone listening who may be confused as to how do I start a new career.

00:19:23.270 --> 00:19:26.736
<v Speaker 1>Don't think you have to have it all figured out from the word go.

00:19:26.736 --> 00:19:28.597
<v Speaker 1>I didn't think you have to have it all figured out from the word go.

00:19:28.597 --> 00:19:28.798
<v Speaker 1>I didn't.

00:19:28.798 --> 00:19:29.239
<v Speaker 1>I sure as heck didn't.

00:19:29.239 --> 00:19:40.934
<v Speaker 1>But what I did is allowed myself to do everything, even when I was afraid to take the next step, even when I didn't have it all figured out.

00:19:40.934 --> 00:19:43.605
<v Speaker 1>And here I am five years later and thankfully I have a successful business and I get to speak all over the world.

00:19:43.605 --> 00:19:48.458
<v Speaker 1>But that was only possible because I didn't keep myself stuck in my comfort zone.

00:19:48.458 --> 00:19:52.775
<v Speaker 1>Right, I didn't say I'm going to start when I feel more ready.

00:19:52.775 --> 00:19:55.902
<v Speaker 1>I was just like well, now's as good a time as any.

00:19:55.961 --> 00:19:56.343
<v Speaker 2>Let's go.

00:19:56.343 --> 00:19:57.692
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

00:19:57.692 --> 00:20:10.701
<v Speaker 2>I loved what you said there about one imperfect step after the other, because I think a lot of people think that whole well, until I work it all out, I'm not going to get started, and the reality is you're never going to work it out until you get started.

00:20:10.701 --> 00:20:12.576
<v Speaker 2>Well, hey there and thanks for listening.

00:20:12.576 --> 00:20:17.719
<v Speaker 2>I've noticed that 78% of you are brand new, which means you haven't hit the subscribe button yet.

00:20:17.719 --> 00:20:25.000
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00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:27.133
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00:20:27.133 --> 00:20:28.334
<v Speaker 2>It only takes a second.

00:20:28.334 --> 00:20:29.817
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00:20:29.817 --> 00:20:35.845
<v Speaker 2>If you support us, we're going to support your success and help you achieve big success together.

00:20:35.845 --> 00:20:46.659
<v Speaker 2>But let's dive back then the seven step framework for connecting with communication, because, dang, all success takes some level of high level communication.

00:20:46.659 --> 00:20:47.961
<v Speaker 2>So let's start there.

00:20:47.961 --> 00:20:49.384
<v Speaker 2>Step one how do we start?

00:20:50.290 --> 00:20:53.461
<v Speaker 1>Step one is always communication with self.

00:20:53.461 --> 00:20:59.800
<v Speaker 1>The communication we have with ourselves sets the foundation, the framework for all of our external communication.

00:20:59.800 --> 00:21:15.259
<v Speaker 1>So we want to make sure we're taking time for ourselves to connect within, and a great practice is to wake up in the morning and, instead of rolling over to your nightstand to grab your smartphone, leave it aside, put the distraction aside and ask yourself how am I feeling?

00:21:15.259 --> 00:21:19.942
<v Speaker 1>And then take five to ten minutes and put pen to paper to write the answer.

00:21:19.942 --> 00:21:29.023
<v Speaker 1>And I say pen to paper because research shows when we write we activate more parts of the brain, giving us a deeper understanding of that information.

00:21:29.023 --> 00:21:31.694
<v Speaker 1>So, step one communication with self.

00:21:31.914 --> 00:21:35.823
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've been a big fan of journaling for a long, long time.

00:21:35.823 --> 00:21:40.019
<v Speaker 2>I think it works out great Note-taking, list-making, journaling, you name it.

00:21:40.019 --> 00:21:41.682
<v Speaker 2>I make it happen.

00:21:41.682 --> 00:21:43.330
<v Speaker 2>So you mentioned earlier step two.

00:21:43.330 --> 00:21:45.112
<v Speaker 2>Let's dive into more detail, though, around being authentic self.

00:21:45.112 --> 00:21:48.074
<v Speaker 2>Let's dive into more detail, though, around being authentic self.

00:21:48.835 --> 00:21:49.174
<v Speaker 1>Yes.

00:21:49.174 --> 00:21:54.979
<v Speaker 1>Step two is own who you are, and that means be consistent in your character.

00:21:54.979 --> 00:22:06.448
<v Speaker 1>Share not only your strengths you don't always just have to lead with your wins but also be open to sharing maybe an obstacle you're facing or something that you had to get over or get through.

00:22:06.448 --> 00:22:13.882
<v Speaker 1>When we share these parts of ourselves, we humanize ourselves and we also let the other person know that they're not alone in their struggles.

00:22:13.882 --> 00:22:29.556
<v Speaker 1>And this also means a big part of this is stepping into all around confidence and out of what I call keyboard confidence, which is that raw, unfiltered confidence that's only present behind the screen and when typing on a keyboard.

00:22:29.635 --> 00:22:40.279
<v Speaker 1>Right, we want to make sure that, because we're communicating so often just through the written word, we want to make sure we are consciously connecting.

00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:47.017
<v Speaker 1>So, before we hit send on that email or on that text or write that social media post, ask yourself two questions.

00:22:47.017 --> 00:22:50.807
<v Speaker 1>Number one would I be comfortable saying this in person?

00:22:50.807 --> 00:22:55.602
<v Speaker 1>Number two does this message match me and my intention?

00:22:55.602 --> 00:23:06.201
<v Speaker 1>And by doing that, it allows you to be the same Brad who shows up face to face, the same one who shows up in his emails, on his podcast and on his social media posts?

00:23:06.490 --> 00:23:12.497
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we have a rule in our world of business that no negatives can be dealt with through technology other than the phone.

00:23:12.497 --> 00:23:20.500
<v Speaker 2>Like you cannot text or email, once there's a hint of negativity, it's like, all right, pick up the phone, pick it up, call that person.

00:23:20.500 --> 00:23:22.136
<v Speaker 2>You never know, because you can't tell.

00:23:23.391 --> 00:23:24.856
<v Speaker 1>That's exactly what I teach.

00:23:24.856 --> 00:23:26.795
<v Speaker 1>I always say the second.

00:23:26.795 --> 00:23:34.638
<v Speaker 1>There's a hint of any miscommunication if you read a text or an email and all of a sudden you go huh, that means pick up the phone right away.

00:23:34.798 --> 00:23:42.734
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I sometimes give myself about 24 hours to pick up the phone, because it's like if I get heated over something, I go damn, what are they saying with that there?

00:23:42.734 --> 00:23:44.160
<v Speaker 2>All right, I'll call them tomorrow.

00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:49.734
<v Speaker 2>So step three then out of our seven steps.

00:23:50.416 --> 00:23:50.717
<v Speaker 1>Yes.

00:23:50.717 --> 00:24:05.738
<v Speaker 1>Step three is to nail down your information, and this means when you're going to connect with someone whether it's a first business meeting, whether it's a Zoom call take time to gather some facts about that person or that group that you're meeting with.

00:24:05.738 --> 00:24:11.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean, we're in the age of information, so make sure to learn a bit about that person before.

00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:14.299
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, brad, it's so great that you live in Vegas.

00:24:14.299 --> 00:24:15.906
<v Speaker 1>You know, I lived in Vegas for many years doing Jersey Boys.

00:24:15.906 --> 00:24:16.662
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, brad, it's so great that you live in Vegas.

00:24:16.662 --> 00:24:17.022
<v Speaker 1>You know, I lived in Vegas for many years doing Jersey Boys.

00:24:17.022 --> 00:24:21.499
<v Speaker 1>Boom, a connection's made, and that's so important, and sometimes we miss the mark.

00:24:21.499 --> 00:24:24.539
<v Speaker 1>This also means asking questions.

00:24:25.210 --> 00:24:34.917
<v Speaker 1>Research shows time and time again that high question askers are perceived as better liked and are more responsive.

00:24:34.917 --> 00:24:36.513
<v Speaker 1>So ask questions.

00:24:36.513 --> 00:24:45.615
<v Speaker 1>And when you ask a question, I like to say go three levels deep with the what, why, how approach, Instead of just going up to someone and saying, oh well, what do you do?

00:24:45.615 --> 00:24:47.681
<v Speaker 1>Oh, that's nice, and you walk away.

00:24:47.681 --> 00:24:49.452
<v Speaker 1>Well, take it one level deeper.

00:24:49.452 --> 00:24:51.898
<v Speaker 1>Why did you choose that career path?

00:24:51.898 --> 00:24:53.823
<v Speaker 1>And then go another level deep.

00:24:53.823 --> 00:24:56.699
<v Speaker 1>How do you feel that making an impact in the world?

00:24:56.699 --> 00:24:57.019
<v Speaker 1>I mean.

00:24:57.019 --> 00:25:02.641
<v Speaker 1>Think about how great it feels when someone's asking you questions and listening.

00:25:02.641 --> 00:25:09.623
<v Speaker 1>I know for me it makes you feel so seen, heard, understood, and that's all the human spirit wants.

00:25:10.009 --> 00:25:10.612
<v Speaker 2>I love that.

00:25:10.612 --> 00:25:11.615
<v Speaker 2>I love that stuff.

00:25:11.615 --> 00:25:19.549
<v Speaker 2>Hey, before we get to number four, stuff.

00:25:19.549 --> 00:25:20.251
<v Speaker 2>Hey, before we get to number four.

00:25:20.251 --> 00:25:25.042
<v Speaker 2>West Side Story versus Pretty Woman versus Chaplin versus Jersey Boys which one did you enjoy the most and why?

00:25:25.750 --> 00:25:33.064
<v Speaker 1>Oh goodness, I mean Jersey Boys for me hits close to home, literally and figuratively.

00:25:33.064 --> 00:25:34.455
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you have to understand this.

00:25:34.455 --> 00:25:37.611
<v Speaker 1>I'm from New Jersey, I'm a Jersey girl.

00:25:37.611 --> 00:25:40.797
<v Speaker 1>I grew up listening to Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.

00:25:40.797 --> 00:25:50.523
<v Speaker 1>The storyline of the entire movie, which is historical, takes place miles from where I grew up, so for me it was like coming home.

00:25:50.523 --> 00:25:58.492
<v Speaker 1>It was a role that I believe I was born to play and it was such an honor for me because I got to represent my roots and where I come from.

00:25:59.095 --> 00:26:02.863
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think that may be why you felt so much when you did it.

00:26:02.863 --> 00:26:06.000
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's dive into number four, then, of our connect method.

00:26:06.931 --> 00:26:07.211
<v Speaker 1>Yes.

00:26:07.211 --> 00:26:13.763
<v Speaker 1>So step four of the connect method is next level storytelling, and I know you get this, brad.

00:26:13.763 --> 00:26:16.875
<v Speaker 1>Human beings, since the dawn of time, we connect through story.

00:26:16.875 --> 00:26:33.396
<v Speaker 1>So this means when you're in a conversation, instead of just sharing facts or talking directly about yourself, why not share a story that represents what made you who you are, or a story that represents why you do what you do?

00:26:33.396 --> 00:26:43.498
<v Speaker 1>Research shows that when we listen to a story, our brainwaves start to synchronize to that of the storyteller, which right away creates a connection.

00:26:43.498 --> 00:26:47.681
<v Speaker 1>So sharing story is one of the most beautiful ways to connect.

00:26:47.950 --> 00:26:56.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I love that because I know when I teach people even to speak from stage or to do stuff, I give them a format of three micro macro story.

00:26:56.840 --> 00:26:59.174
<v Speaker 2>You know, the macro is the lesson.

00:26:59.174 --> 00:27:03.574
<v Speaker 2>Like you know, leverage is the principle, the micro might be the.

00:27:03.574 --> 00:27:05.459
<v Speaker 2>You know, here's how you apply it right here.

00:27:05.459 --> 00:27:09.579
<v Speaker 2>Here's the data and the story is here's how I did that one time sort of thing.

00:27:09.579 --> 00:27:11.977
<v Speaker 2>Once you do that, people get it.

00:27:11.977 --> 00:27:16.359
<v Speaker 2>So I love step four and that's why I asked you about the four, the different ones.

00:27:16.359 --> 00:27:18.356
<v Speaker 2>Step five connect method.

00:27:19.090 --> 00:27:22.221
<v Speaker 1>One of my favorites, brad energize through movement.

00:27:22.221 --> 00:27:28.818
<v Speaker 1>People underestimate the importance of this and I love this because it's never the first thing you think of.

00:27:28.818 --> 00:27:32.756
<v Speaker 1>When you're like I want to be a better communicator, you don't think, oh, I need to move my body.

00:27:32.756 --> 00:27:33.558
<v Speaker 1>Oh, yes, you do.

00:27:33.558 --> 00:27:43.503
<v Speaker 1>When we move our bodies, there's a direct connection between movement and improved cognitive performance, improved cognitive flexibility.

00:27:43.503 --> 00:27:45.272
<v Speaker 1>We have to understand.

00:27:45.272 --> 00:27:55.461
<v Speaker 1>We're sitting, now more than ever, behind our screens at a computer and I know this firsthand, how that can drain you, how it can decrease your focus.

00:27:55.942 --> 00:27:58.090
<v Speaker 1>I'll never forget when I first started my business.

00:27:58.090 --> 00:28:06.234
<v Speaker 1>I went from being active 24 hours a day, eight shows a week, up and down subway stairs doing a show for two hours dancing.

00:28:06.234 --> 00:28:09.691
<v Speaker 1>And then I started my own business and it was during the pandemic.

00:28:09.691 --> 00:28:12.557
<v Speaker 1>So I was behind a computer and I'm not kidding you, brad.

00:28:12.557 --> 00:28:15.563
<v Speaker 1>I was like what is going on?

00:28:15.563 --> 00:28:18.713
<v Speaker 1>I don't feel myself.

00:28:18.713 --> 00:28:20.413
<v Speaker 1>I would be on these back-to-back Zoom calls and I'm like, oh, I'm not kidding you, brad.

00:28:20.374 --> 00:28:20.861
<v Speaker 1>I was like what is going on?

00:28:20.861 --> 00:28:21.105
<v Speaker 1>I don't feel myself.

00:28:21.105 --> 00:28:21.961
<v Speaker 1>I would be on these back-to-back Zoom calls and I'm like, oh, I'm drained.

00:28:21.961 --> 00:28:22.547
<v Speaker 1>And then it dawned on me.

00:28:22.547 --> 00:28:25.556
<v Speaker 1>I go oh, my gosh, renee, you haven't moved your body.

00:28:25.556 --> 00:28:38.553
<v Speaker 1>So that's when I started utilizing this tool and I would get up and, for me, do a little, do a little HIIT workout or put on a playlist and dance around, and then I would sit down for my Zoom call and I felt like myself again.

00:28:38.553 --> 00:28:40.076
<v Speaker 1>I was able to focus.

00:28:40.076 --> 00:28:53.557
<v Speaker 1>So we have to make sure that in throughout our day, when we're so focused on especially these virtual meetings, we have to move our bodies, because this is what helps us to create a real connection.

00:28:53.798 --> 00:29:09.198
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know, during COVID is when I got the stand up desk because it was like I just can't do this anymore, especially giving speeches I was I was speaking to, like I remember there was one into Russia and I had 50,000 people on the speech and and like it seemed unnatural to sit down.

00:29:09.198 --> 00:29:23.373
<v Speaker 2>It was like I just had to stand up and do it, like I just tilted the camera for that one.

00:29:23.373 --> 00:29:24.415
<v Speaker 2>But then I was like I got to get a standup desk.

00:29:24.415 --> 00:29:25.378
<v Speaker 2>It just I can't not move, it's same again.

00:29:25.398 --> 00:29:26.762
<v Speaker 1>right now I'm standing, it's just I got to do it that way.

00:29:26.762 --> 00:29:27.365
<v Speaker 1>Step six let's dive into it.

00:29:27.365 --> 00:29:31.232
<v Speaker 1>Step six one of the most lost arts in our world today complete listening.

00:29:31.232 --> 00:29:34.840
<v Speaker 1>Listening to hear and not just to respond.

00:29:34.840 --> 00:29:44.811
<v Speaker 1>This is so vital to being able to connect with others because, as I shared with you before, all we want as human beings is to feel seen, heard and understood.

00:29:44.811 --> 00:29:55.759
<v Speaker 1>And when we're in a conversation and the person who is listening to us is making eye contact, is letting us know that they're invested, they have open body language.

00:29:55.759 --> 00:29:58.314
<v Speaker 1>That is when real connections are made.

00:29:58.796 --> 00:30:12.817
<v Speaker 1>I like to say there's six parts to this and I don't have to go through all six, but one of the parts is to become distraction proof, and what I mean by that is put your phone out of sight, not just flip it over so you can't see the time.

00:30:12.817 --> 00:30:14.240
<v Speaker 1>Put it out of sight.

00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:25.376
<v Speaker 1>There was a study done called the iPhone effect that looked at two people in a conversation with a cell phone present, even though neither person looked at the phone, neither person picked up the phone.

00:30:25.376 --> 00:30:28.972
<v Speaker 1>Still, that phone proved to be a distraction.

00:30:28.972 --> 00:30:35.152
<v Speaker 1>So let's do ourselves in our relationships of service by putting it away so we're not tempted to.

00:30:35.152 --> 00:30:38.959
<v Speaker 1>In the middle of them speaking, we're like huh, oh, I'm sorry.

00:30:38.959 --> 00:30:44.318
<v Speaker 1>What'd you say, right, I mean, nothing is worse than when you feel that someone's half listening to you.

00:30:44.579 --> 00:30:51.011
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I love it when you're on a Zoom call and you see someone on the Zoom call have muted themselves and they're on their own phone during the Zoom call.

00:30:51.011 --> 00:30:53.616
<v Speaker 2>Like seriously, be better listeners.

00:30:53.616 --> 00:30:56.644
<v Speaker 2>Be better yes, do better than that.

00:30:56.644 --> 00:31:02.900
<v Speaker 2>You can't do it that bad, all right, final number seven Number seven talk from the heart.

00:31:03.589 --> 00:31:16.421
<v Speaker 1>Talk from the heart because speaking up is your superpower, and so many people nowadays replace speaking up with typing up, because they believe that speaking up means being confrontational.

00:31:16.421 --> 00:31:28.602
<v Speaker 1>But I'm here to tell you that communication does not mean confrontation, and by believing they're one in the same, we are denying ourselves beautiful opportunities for connection.

00:31:28.602 --> 00:31:39.275
<v Speaker 1>And when I say speaking up, brad, I mean either sharing your thoughts and opinions, addressing a concern, or asking a question, or asking for what you want.

00:31:39.275 --> 00:31:46.955
<v Speaker 1>If I didn't speak up in the audition room that day, I could have missed my once in a lifetime opportunity.

00:31:46.955 --> 00:31:50.811
<v Speaker 1>And remember, the worst thing that can happen is you end up in the same place.

00:31:50.811 --> 00:31:51.854
<v Speaker 1>You were right.

00:31:51.854 --> 00:31:54.922
<v Speaker 1>If you don't ask, the answer will always be no.

00:31:55.829 --> 00:32:01.083
<v Speaker 2>Renee, I always ask people at the end of a show what's the best quote you ever got on success.

00:32:01.083 --> 00:32:08.221
<v Speaker 2>But it might even be what's the best advice you ever got on success, seeing as you've been around some of those real cool people over the years.

00:32:09.349 --> 00:32:17.015
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm going to tell you first my favorite quote that I believe represents success to me and so much more.

00:32:17.015 --> 00:32:18.901
<v Speaker 1>It's the Maya Angelou quote.

00:32:18.901 --> 00:32:25.053
<v Speaker 1>People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget the way you made them feel.

00:32:25.053 --> 00:32:28.358
<v Speaker 1>And for me, that represents what I do.

00:32:28.358 --> 00:32:29.962
<v Speaker 1>Why I do it?

00:32:29.962 --> 00:32:39.096
<v Speaker 1>Because, at the end of the day, as advanced as digital technology gets AI, the one thing AI can never replace is human connection.

00:32:39.096 --> 00:32:49.053
<v Speaker 1>And when you're able to connect with someone in a real way and you let them know that they are appreciated, seen, heard, you better believe.

00:32:49.053 --> 00:32:52.116
<v Speaker 1>They will never forget that and you will make a lasting impression.

00:32:52.116 --> 00:32:54.155
<v Speaker 1>And to me, that's what success is all about.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it.

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<v Speaker 2>Renee Marino hit the show notes.

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<v Speaker 3>folks, I'm Brad Sugars the host of Big Success Podcast, and we'll be back next week with more of your success how to achieve business and personal success.

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<v Speaker 3>As well as how to level up or listen to past episodes, visit wwwbradsugarscom.