BEST OF THE RADCAST VOL. II

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 Loyal listening to the radcast if it's radical we cover it
 Here's your host Ryan Allford
 Hey guys, what's up welcome to the latest edition of the radcast
 We're staying radical like we always do here this radical we cover it when you look back who's who are those
 Influencers in your life
 You know, I don't really
 Say that I have a mentor or I have one. I think I was mentored by everyone
 Right, you know things not to do things to do
 um, you know my dad my grandpa my freaking friends
 Their dads, you know their moms
 TV shows, you know
 Tony Robbins Grant Cardone Damon John Zieg Ziegler Tom Hopkins like I've learned a lot from everybody
 And I believe in learning something new every day because a lot of times we get in these
 Ruts where you know, we're just kind of feeling stuck and mainly it's because we're doing the same things
 And in order to do something different you have to think something different
 So if you're not getting any new information you kind of just get stuck so I seek new information on a daily basis
 I realize everybody I meet
 Know something I don't
 So I believe relationships are the new
 currency
 I believe the more hands you shake the more money you make and I and I and I'm not concerned if someone doesn't
 Necessarily like who I am because I like who I am so I think that's a combination that just comes across
 You know confident to some and airing it to some
 Others you never know, but at the end of the day
 I think I think that's the key is just learning from everyone letting everyone be your mentor your children your employers
 Your employees your your friends your relatives, you know, everyone. I learned from everyone. I think probably the single biggest
 Personal trait for a successful entrepreneur is simply this predisposition to action
 You know, they do more and they think less
 They immediately when they have an idea. They're not all of a sudden spinning off into this fantasy land
 Oh, how amazing this idea will be just imagine what will happen when
 They immediately go how how can I figure out a way to quickly and cheaply and easily try something
 Uh, that's the big piece and it's a it's really tragic and the other reason for this whole you know
 Ideas 1% and
 Executions 99% is that the idea your idea is almost inevitably wrong. In fact, it's always wrong
 You know, I don't know whether you yeah, absolutely in fact you come from a
 Industry where brainstorming sessions are like
 You know, that's your daily meals and it for those of you don't if you've you're in brainstorming sessions and there's always the moderator up there and goes
 Okay, some ground rules folks
 Number one. There's no such thing as a bad idea
 And I call bullshit on that there are tons of bad ideas in fact the rules of a brainstorming session
 These are all bad ideas because they are all ideas are bad and your job is not to come up with a good idea
 Your ideas to figure out why your ideas bad because that's the process. That's what entrepreneurs do
 They start with an idea and don't say this is what's going to be again. There's no epiphany moment
 But they start and they realize by colliding it with real people with a real market with real problems
 What the floor was and they go oh that gives me an idea to try this and try this and so the reason
 Listen one of the you got me you got me got me going here. I like it. I love it. Yeah, so um
 I've heard every single possible reason there is for people having an idea and I'm not wanting to start
 And one of the most tragic ones that I hear is I don't want to tell anyone my idea because I don't want someone to steal my idea
 And the reason that is so tragic sides
 The obvious which is no one's going to steal your idea but
 By the very act of you not being willing to make your idea public
 You're protecting the one percent
 And you're then not enabling yourself to do the 99 percent
 Which is figure out why your idea is a bad one you're protecting something which is a bad idea
 You've got to get out and figure it out. It's the execution. It's the doing. It's the doing. It's the doing
 I had been a writer obviously um
 For many years, but while at sports illustrated they actually had a speaker's bureau right where if you were an advertiser who spent a certain amount of money with the magazine
 And you were hosting an event like let's say you were
 caterpillar and you're you know and you're deciding to host your your your largest sales representatives at the masters
 You could actually get sports illustrated to send over a writer for
 Let's say a dinner that you're having to to share a few stories maybe kind of answer some questions
 Most of the other writers hated it right they didn't want to do it
 They didn't find it intriguing. I loved it
 I loved the idea of learning because I did all the prep work right I
 I went to understand what does it mean to be successful at caterpillar what what how does success there in their business
 differ from success in in the NBA where I was
 Writing a story at the time or whatever it might be you know
 um
 I wanted to try to compare what they were doing to what I what I already knew
 So that I could tell them stories that would really matter to them
 And I got excited by that opportunity and so ultimately
 Door opens sports illustrated is offering early retirement opportunities for people because the account
 was changing
 And I said I'm going to go try speaking
 I mean I'd done these events for sports illustrated, but I had never tried to sell myself as a speaker
 But I went out and hired coaches I went out and and and I and I explored who was the who would I be competing against
 I went to events to watch my potential competition to see what they would look like I did everything
 You would want to do if you were an athlete trying to get better right yeah
 I watched game film of myself after a speech to see if I could what I was doing well and what I wasn't
 and
 And lo and behold a decade later
 I'm doing
 80 80 speeches a year all over the world for companies
 You know as as largest Microsoft and
 An Oracle and you know the Cisco systems all the big all the big companies
 And and you just I learned how to do it
 Even though I hadn't been it hadn't been on my
 idea
 You know, I'd never set out to be a speaker
 It just happened to be something I found that I that I enjoyed and but I hired coaches like I didn't I
 I don't think much of what we do in life
 Is completely natural
 I think we have to go find people who can shorten our learning cycle
 And that's what I want to do. What do you lean on for a marketing perspective?
 I mean is it just getting out there PR like keeping your name fresh
 See, I don't I honestly that's why I said yes this podcast because you know besides it being credible, right?
 Um
 I'm gonna start hitting everything that people ask me
 I'm just gonna start doing now because I didn't do that and I feel like I don't get out there enough
 And I don't push the brand enough. I've been just on the you know like
 Let it come to me type business model and it's like I think I've peaked at that like I have my
 Customers and it's like I need to grow now and as you've grown in your career and your business journey and your multiple business journeys
 You know, you just talked about a few tactics and things but what's been your relationship with marketing or
 Experience with marketing and branding and kind of your perspective maybe both in how you coach it or talk about it
 Um and just kind of your relation, you know overall perspective on it
 Well, I think everyone needs to spend more money on marketing and branding
 You know, I think most people don't understand it. I know in business, you know
 I'm accustomed to spending you know
 Large six figures if not seven figures a month in marketing
 I've always understood the more money I put in the more money I get out
 So it's kind of a cool dynamic. It's ROI. I think you know back in the day when I was in my young 20s
 Our real estate business was suffering
 Because I was still taking the money out of the company and playing with it
 But you know the I remember I fired an account because she's like we have to cut this eliminate this line item
 And I'm like what line on it's like marketing as I get fired like out at one like that's the only thing
 It's keeping us afloat
 You know, but they see it to numbers. They don't understand marketing like we do
 But here's the thing is I always say especially about branding
 Um, because marketing you know direct to consumer marketing is a little bit different than branding as you know right because branding
 A little bit longer termplay, but direct to consumers like you know, I'm just looking for a row as return
 You know, it's the fastest possible
 But when we're brand you know when we're branding let's say in five years from now
 Do you think you'll make more money if you have 10 x the amount of people following you or a hundred x or a million x
 Or if you just say where you're at today
 The answer's pretty simple. So you gotta get to work. Yeah, you know, so I'm very conscious of that
 I mean, I have three people my team all they're doing is working on content distribution
 You know repackaging. I have a documentary coming out. I mean, I'm trying to hit people at all angles
 You know, so and I know you understand all that but you know, you as a listener you got to understand like if you're not investing in your
 I just did a recent case study to my group
 Actually asking them how much are you investing in marketing?
 And unfortunately the majority are saying zero to a thousand dollars
 Well, I'm talking hundreds of people saying this and these are like semi
 Like people that say they have a business if you're not spending 10 20 30 50 100 grand a month
 Like this is why you're frustrated. You don't have a duplicatable replicable process
 And you gotta have if you don't have front and lead gen processes out where you spend money and make money
 You're always you're always gonna play a smaller than you plot you need to play. I think you were ahead of your time with recognizing
 That with attention comes leverage and I think you guys I think took advantage of that correct
 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, there was a time when we were on USA's today's most powerful couples top three
 It was like us brand gelina and tomcat
 So we definitely were and then the Kardashians were behind us and they took a lot of our antics and even
 Courtney would ask my sister about her and Scott and the what they should do and what Kim should do
 So they completely took our mold that we created and because they have chris and they also had calm cast behind them
 They were able to become hundred millionaires
 So that's where we thought it was coming because we were more famous than them
 We did have attention as currency. We did use that in the media and have those relationships with them
 So in a different world
 We were going to be the Kardashians. It's just hard when you have a cast that doesn't play ball
 Doesn't get it isn't as entertaining as well
 And that's kind of what we've always been against you need a team like the Kardashians
 They have a whole family this person has this going on this person has that even jersey sure
 They're all superheroes. They're all great within their own realm. They're not trying to put each other down
 They're not jealous of this putting person getting that like we've always had the worst cast that nobody ever wanted to
 Be a team and if we all had teamed up we would be
 100 times more successful all together by ego is a very
 Harded thing, you know, and you can only get so far by yourself if you don't have a calm cast or someone backing you
 I started doing videos every week on youtube
 That got up to over 200,000 subscribers and then Facebook went crazy and we're at 700,000 on there
 But the difference is most people think of numbers
 I don't have 200,000
 Followers got 200,000 customers people that follow me have bought from me
 And that's the difference most people go well how many followers you got I don't care because you can buy followers
 You came by revenue
 Money shows up or it don't one thing that's amazing right now in building network marketing nowadays is social media
 I've done a lot through Facebook Instagram YouTube. I don't know how these guys built these network marketing businesses back in the day before all that
 Because that's how I build mine because you can go target people who have the same mindset as you and you can go
 To the top people a lot of people are afraid also
 To recruit up we call it so going to people that you perceive as on a higher level than you a lot of people recruit down
 Because they think it's the easier person to recruit
 But then all you're doing is bringing you know people into your business that are not going to do anything
 You're turning your wheels and you're getting frustrated. I want it straight to the top people
 I'm like who's a grinder who's a hustler who's got influence who's got you know an audience
 Let's go straight to these people. Let's thought you know cut around the chase the question I get all the time is
 Hey, how do I get private investors that will invest in my real estate deals and I'm like host content
 Talk about what you're doing do some marketing. Oh, man
 But I'm afraid of like what people are gonna think of me. Oh, okay, then great
 You're definitely not somebody's gonna take my advice and run with it. You just keep second guessing yourself
 So I love being around guys that are cutting edge. I love being around guys that have more experience than me
 So subscribing to your channel isn't just because you've had some dope gas. I'm subscribed to your your podcast because bro
 You know your shit obviously on the business side of things that awareness
 Certainly had to have been helpful with you know springboarding you know your career even further right
 Oh for sure. Yeah, I mean that's definitely like if I'm she up there
 I mean obviously it's on TV. So people learn you and the other cool part is is
 It's not just like Dana White's contender series like that's an opportunity
 But they see these athletes and then they see the fight and then if somebody gets into the UFC and gets contract
 On the ultimate fighter you get to learn the actual person
 Of course TV can portray you however they want
 But at least it gives you some insight or some background to us as people and not just as fighters
 There is a very clear relationship between how strong your awareness is free of brand
 How strong your consideration is free of brand
 And how strong your marketing efficiency is on conversion marketing specifically
 So that that's something that may not um be obvious to everyone right
 You may think that hey, I'm doing conversion marketing. I'm trying to find the people that are ready to buy
 And I'm trying to win their thereby. I'm trying to win that purchase
 And that has nothing to do with whether I've actually spent time building recognition for my brand
 But the research shows us that it has everything to do with that and so
 Conversely you could also say
 If you neglect to build your brand if you let your awareness decay if you let your consideration decay because those things aren't stagnant
 They do decay right so if you let those things happen
 And what you're really doing also is you're making it much much harder for you to convert the people who are actually ready to buy in the category
 And so it's got kind of this
 dual deficit right you're
 Creating a gap in your ability to convert people today and you're also creating gap in your future sales potential
 Because you haven't built awareness and consideration for people that I wanted to buy down the road
 Perfect and carefully also add I wanted to add also to your point Ryan about
 You know if I'm at the store and I see a pack of gum I might just buy it there so
 We have to also talk about the impact of the pandemic because
 There is an amount of brand building that happens just by being out in the world and seeing brands in that way
 So maybe maybe you hadn't heard of that brand of gum
 But now you have and you've seen it and you try it
 But in a world where people aren't going out to the store as much and being able to just see brands on the shelves
 We actually have to rely more on upper funnel marketing in order to bring people into your funnel to begin with
 The biggest struggle always is
 Well, what you said about confidence is important because that's the number one thing you have to get no matter what because
 If you don't believe in your brand or believe in yourself and what you're selling because I mean
 I'm an artist and musician, but I mean it's business more than anything in the world. You know
 You have to believe in it and what you're selling and
 It's so crazy important because when you're trying to tell somebody to listen to your music
 And they've since any sort of hesitation. They're like any sort of like they get like I mean
 If somebody tells me hey man, will you check up my music and I have like even a 5% including of like this
 Weird vibe from this person like about one two
 Yeah, so that is super important obviously, but as far as
 Going back to that gorilla marketing thing man, it was it was so important in those early days of getting those
 That core early on because you want somebody you want people that are passionate about your
 Your progress and your journey you want people to be like man. I was there
 And I'll give you a perfect example of this like I was there when it started kind of thing right?
 So you think seven years ago eight years ago. I was at stage coach, which is a massive country festival 100,000 people in Southern California
 Yeah, and I used to walk around with those little cards. I was talking about and I would hand them out
 I'd take like 3000 in the festival and I would walk around and I would just tell people like hey, I'm playing next year
 They're letting me promote ahead of time. Here's a free song and it was a lot. I was never playing next year
 You know, but then you got three thousand people
 Yeah, I get you got three thousand people now that we're gonna discard you and like hey, I've never heard of this person
 Next year we could be the only one singing this guy song. So let's check it out
 You know, there's a pride in an ownership that I think you
 And then so now flash back forward like five years later
 So in 2019 we played stage coach finally
 and
 We had I think they said 12,000 people at our stage
 We were closing the XM stage and 12,000 something people
 Four o'clock in the afternoon. You know midday slot. Yeah, we had a massive massive following that's a lot and our crowd
 And I told that story on stage about walk around with this cards
 And I said we're any of you
 Out there one of these years that you got one of these
 False advertising cards right
 And it wasn't false your year was off and if you believe it it was not hey, I tell people
 You say that these in marketing as long as you believe it and you're gonna manifest that it wasn't false
 Yeah, and it never wasn't true that I wasn't playing next year there never there wasn't even a line of it
 You know, so in my mind, I was I wasn't gonna play things exactly. It's none of us knew yet, you know, and so how do you raise your hand?
 So there's some people raise your hand
 They would not only did they raise their hand, but so many people lifted that card up in the air. No, shit
 What's your appreciation level of marketing and the role of it in kind of what you're doing?
 I mean marketing's everything you got to get your phone to ring so like for me
 My first 10 years as an entrepreneur 12 years as an entrepreneur. I never did any
 Marketing I was taught sales and I was taught sales on the phone
 So all I did was call people all I did was text people all I did was network with people
 And then as the short sales and those things started to dry up I realized well, hey, I'm building a brand now
 I should try this marketing thing so in 2000 and I think
 13 is when I got into marketing and today we're doing heavy marketing hundreds of thousands of dollars a month
 We have TV commercials running throughout Southern California. We have heavy digital marketing campaigns running
 We have print mailers going we have driving for dollars. We have cool calling campaigns. We have texting campaigns
 We have email campaigns
 So we're just always hitting everything, you know, and I say you know
 In order to get leads you have to hit them from land air and sea you got to hit them from every angle possible right now
 It's it's all about
 Creating an atmosphere
 Continuing to create an atmosphere where
 Volt-salt with this marketplace can thrive with these content creators, you know, can capitalize
 On this need for content. Yeah, Netflix is not going to stop spending money
 Which means that all these other streaming platforms are going to start upping their spend as well
 Which means the more content is going to be created more opportunities be are going to be created
 We want to be that bridge and and we have been so that's a big part of where we're going and where we're spending a lot of our time
 We are certainly upping as well, you know, the education aspect of it demands for that
 Because you know, it's affordable education again. Why would you go to film school and put yourself in tremendous debt?
 For years and years and years when you can learn, you know, the same skills from people that are doing it right now
 And then have access to those people for me. It was one of those things. I just kind of
 felt like I was trying to create myself like
 Cropped myself into something that I really wasn't like I even
 Visually change what I look like like as you would look at a brown hair
 But I like dyed my hair blonde, you know, and I was trying to look like you know an American country
 Southern girl and like if you look at my bone structure, I look very Russian
 Really like was the working so you know for me I
 Since then I focus very heavily on authenticity like especially with my own music
 I want to just speak the truth and nothing but the truth and I almost kind of went like the opposite way with it
 You know after kind of suffering kind of hiding behind all these masks now. I'm just like I'm gonna say what whatever the fuck
 However the fuck I want and if people like it great if they don't like it great
 Do you enjoy the business? I mean is it
 Is it is cutthroat is ever or is it gotten better? Is it like do people play nice?
 I mean it's definitely like you know is politically speaking. It's definitely the same
 You know, I don't I don't
 Necessarily enjoy that aspect of it just because I feel like you know music business is such an oxymoron, you know, it's just so
 It's it's like there's such a creative aspect and obviously there has to be a business aspect
 But that part can be it's not always hard, but it can be hard and challenging just because
 You know you make this baby in such a pure way and then you see it go out in the world and there's all these like
 You know potentially corrupt things around it. So it's it's it's hard in that sense
 But you know, I mean it's also
 It can be fun because it can be a game, you know like playing the
 Things like that. I know you have the 10 next platform. I know you got seven of these and five of these and four of those
 But like have you boiled it down like to the for both yourself and maybe others
 Like what what that success formula truly is
 Yeah, well, you know, I did some of that on undercover billionaire, right? Well one is show up show up say yes to it
 Um
 You got to show up like if you don't show up you can't get lucky
 You can't get lucky nothing good happens
 Nobody's going to come to your home your sofa your bedroom and give you anything
 It's just not going to happen like you have to show up
 And then once you show up you got to show up right like you got to be available for whatever you're doing
 Even if you don't want to do it
 So I do stuff every day. I show up for stuff every day. I'm like, I kind of want to do this
 But I show up and then I act like I want to do it, right?
 So you got to show up and then you got to be willing to change your mind about it because something
 Super cool might come out of the deal
 So number one you got to show up
 um number two
 And why you're showing up you got to drop your bad attitude like if you if you're negative bad attitude
 Stuff's going wrong you lost your mom you got covid whatever the hell happened
 Well, nobody needs to know about that. You got to show up and be a hundred percent number two. I would tell everybody
 Like I'm always looking for 10x target
 Always I wake up every day
 Never satisfy where I'm at because I'm always looking for the 10x
 I'm looking for I got 4,000 or 12,000 units. I'm going to get a hundred and twenty thousand
 120,000 units bro. I'd be like I could run for president in the United States
 Like I'd be a major player on planter or if I can get there
 I don't know if I can get there
 Today, I probably doubt that I can get there. I mean to be honest with you. I don't like
 I don't think I can do it. I don't think I don't know did I have enough time. I don't have enough money
 um
 But
 It's cool to think about it and that's what I did on undercover billionaire
 They said could you build a million dollar business in 90 days? I said no, but I could build a 10 million dollar business in 90 days
 She's like what are you fucking with me? I'm like kind of little bit
 But but look I want to go for 10 million not not one million and I ended up coming up short
 I did five and a half million plus one point seven million dollars for the real estate
 We had seven million dollars in that in 88 days and I could have probably left this 70
 So uh, so number number two is got you got to think big every day
 I got to be thinking about not how to get one deal. How do how do I get 10 not how do I get 10 people?
 How do I get a hundred like whatever it is just 10x to think it's ridiculous anyway
 And then the third thing is give back man once you start hitting
 Or not hitting no matter what's going on man find somebody you can help today
 Like that that keeps fueling my tank
 And what if I'm winning I'm going to share it with somebody hey man. I tried this little trick this little thing
 I did this little thing and it worked
 And if I'm not if I if I'm failing that day and I'm I'm down and out
 I'm like let me go see if I can help somebody get up
 So that those three things have always been been there for me
 to ask you though what
 You're a damn fighter like where does that come from though? I've heard that you've told
 Three or four different stories, but out of every single one of them
 It's a theme coming through and I always ask people like you know because not everyone is that way
 You know, especially in today's society. It's like everyone's kind of goes the other way. Where did that come from
 Uh on the time number one
 Okay, all right, it starts there
 Um, you know what I don't know where that really comes from
 It's just I know that it's always served me well, but my my girls call this side of me
 We're seeing a panare
 That's their like evil twin
 It's like whenever somebody you know backs me up or if I have to do something
 That the mom
 You know, we're seeing a panare came out today
 And I had to assert myself to in order to get what it was that I needed and she they said you know it works
 They used to get frightened every time they saw Christina come out and they would leave, but um, I think it's just a survival mode that I've always had because um
 I enjoy everything I do and like if you'd ask me like now if you could go back and change one thing
 Would you change it? And I would say no absolutely. I don't sense that knew that that's why I wasn't even gonna ask
 That I don't sense
 But I don't I don't I don't know I don't sense that you'd change anything but I because I feel like you've learned
 And you've rebounded like if you were someone that dwelled which I don't sense in you like I might ask that
 But I could tell you don't dwell you your problems over your fixer or fight or whatever it is
 I don't know I don't even know you but that's what I sense in you
 I think it's but I've learned in life
 Very young and I believe that failure or what you perceive as failure to be is opportunity
 Disguise as deep disappointment. What's been your biggest struggle
 Running businesses and you know like where if you feel like you've grown the most
 I mean kind of kind of a two-part two-part message there
 Okay
 So first of all my biggest struggle in life ever was being a teenage mom
 My son is now a 22 army veteran and
 Everybody thought I wasn't gonna make it. They're like how are you gonna do this?
 But I was a 20 or I was a 18-year-old single mom and I pulled it off. I can't believe it
 I moved down to LA with my son just he and I and we didn't know anybody and I I pulled it off
 I can't believe I made it happen, but that was by far the biggest struggle
 I've never been married
 So I've never been divorced and I've just done everything on my own and I think when people find that out and they're like well
 You know, maybe she had help or financial backing and that wasn't my case
 And so when they find out that I was also a young single mom it makes it more
 Relatable and people can understand that that is a huge
 Struggle to go through by yourself
 You know there is a USC lifestyle and fans live a USC lifestyle whether they're
 You know wearing the the merch and and all that but
 it's
 The fan I got to look at the fans answer that question because the reason we are where we are is because of the fans
 Aside from all the work and the great mastery of maverick marketing and
 Management the Dana White and his team do but the fans have kept us alive and she's gotten bigger and bigger bigger
 And it's to see from the younger demographic of the 18 to 34. We have the widest demographic. I think of most sports whether it's female or male
 um
 You know
 I can just say again, it's like a lifestyle for these people
 They they they have their first show they they want to see the next one they want to see the progression
 Granted, there's a lot more shows now it's hard to keep track of all the fighters
 But they're so interested in what they have for breakfast what they do in their private lives once you can lock people in like that
 Then you've got a successful audience. It's going to be a dedicated audience. They'll be consistently watching you forever
 Not just as happens in boxing now, which I love and I grew up in and I participated in
 The bottom line is is that the younger demographic is dying off in boxing. Yes, the Logan and Jake Paul fights are bringing him back in
 But are they consistently going to watch other boxers? Are they just going to wait for their influencers?
 You know, but at least young eyeballs are coming into the sport the UFC
 I just capturing and holding people
 Yeah, definitely. Yeah, let's face it in COVID. We were the first sport to come back. Yes, you were
 And it's really blown up as a result, you know, I mean, I see your stuff and I know you
 Things and events here there, but are you in the kitchen every day?
 No, no, I mean, I'm not in a professional restaurant kitchen every day executing a service
 You know, I made a
 Big pivot in my life. Let's say six years ago
 Um, I felt like we were you know
 Um in our own bubble in our own restaurant bubble and I I I felt our bubble was going to burst in a big way
 Um, we you know, we were opening restaurants at the highest rate that we that we had to ever open restaurants
 Um, you know food truck craze and every lawyer doctor career changer wanted to be in food business because it started to get celebrated
 You have all these TV shows. You had all these celebrity chefs. You had you know, there's a big you know
 In the last 10 years America's food culture has grown in a massive way, right? So
 I started to diversify
 My portfolio because I didn't want to only rely on having to run a restaurant
 I've watched you guys before and really admire the way you've built and obviously it it a really high level
 Um, but I really admire the way you guys have embraced
 I love that, you know, the dual strengths, you know
 It's seeing what those are. I think a lot of people struggle with that because
 You're like everybody's trying to play any other sandbox when we know what you know everybody's had everybody has a job to do right
 Everybody has a job to do and you're really at the end of the day. It's like take the ego out of it
 It's it's who are you as a couple like you have to become a team like a fortified team
 Who are you as a couple and where are you going? What is the goal? What is the reward? What are you working toward?
 So grand and I are going for the super bowl ring of life
 You know, so you know, I make this analogy a lot like and I don't really even know football that well
 So if I mess up the terminology get what I'm trying to say
 But like in game three if I'm the quarterback and he's the receiver and there's a throw and he misses it
 I as the quarterback can't just harp on him and blame him
 I have to take more responsibility for aiming better and he has to take responsibility for catching better
 And then we have to go on to game seven and game nine and certainly I'm not going to bring up the mistake from being three when we're in game nine
 And you know, the the thing is is we're trying to win the super bowl like we're trying to we're trying to do something so much bigger
 So it eliminates a lot of the the small the pettingness is because we're trying to go for a heightened level of success
 We're trying to you know for me again this like
 I think the greatest act of love you can give someone whether platonic or not is to help them achieve their goals and their dreams
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