Empowering Veteran Transitions: Brenda's Journey from Marine Corps Leadership to Civilian Success through the TAPIN Method

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Kold, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.

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<v Speaker 1>Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles, procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.

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<v Speaker 1>Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, hello, hello everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>So, yes, we're on twice.

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<v Speaker 2>Back to back.

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<v Speaker 2>We have our amazing friend, brenda the solutionist, and again she has blessed us with being back on.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm going to tell you a little bit about Brenda.

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<v Speaker 2>Then, of course, I'm going to have her tell even more.

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<v Speaker 2>So Brenda is a Marine Corps gunnery sergeant with over 30 years of leadership experience.

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<v Speaker 2>She's a three-time best-selling author and pattern for living coach.

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<v Speaker 2>Brenda is a self-publishing partner.

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<v Speaker 2>She helps others bring their stories to life, which is fantastic we're going to be talking about and she has developed the innovative tap-in method, which is transformation announce, prepare, imagine and nurture.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know, brenda just empowers veterans around the world.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm so proud and honored that you are back, my friend, if you will tell us a little bit more about yourself, Well, one of the things I love to tell people is I help entrepreneurs passionate entrepreneurs unleash their inner hustler.

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<v Speaker 3>I want them to ditch the overwhelm, and I use proven strategies like the tap-in method so they can build businesses that thrive, that they love, and I'm excited about doing that.

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<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic, and right now I'm going to pop on a link for Brenda's information.

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<v Speaker 2>Brenda, do you want to just let them know what that is?

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<v Speaker 3>That is my link tree.

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<v Speaker 3>That's where you can find all things, brenda.

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<v Speaker 3>You can find the mental health protocol there, you can join my free community, you can join my paid communities, you can purchase my books and find all the social media links and things that I'm attached with.

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<v Speaker 2>Fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>So thank you very much.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's go ahead and dive in.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm ready.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so how does the topic?

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, will you describe, because I know we've been on here.

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<v Speaker 2>So, for the people that haven't seen the show or listened to the podcast yet, can you refresh what the Tappan Method is?

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<v Speaker 3>The Tappan Method is a five-step strategic plan that I created to help people move past their stuck points.

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<v Speaker 3>It'll help them close the gaps between their desire and their reality.

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<v Speaker 3>Each letter in the tapping method stands for one step in the process.

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<v Speaker 3>The T is for transformation.

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<v Speaker 3>That's where they work on their mindset.

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<v Speaker 3>The A is for announcement and accountability.

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<v Speaker 3>That's where you announce to the world what it is you want to get done and you also get some accountability.

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<v Speaker 3>The P is for preparations.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the stage where you prepare yourself to get the results you say that you want to have.

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<v Speaker 3>The I that's one of my favorite parts.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the imagination phase.

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<v Speaker 3>That's where you're visualizing your life, where you want it to be.

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<v Speaker 3>And then N is where you nurture all of the stuff you've done to do your tap in so that you can live your best life now, and now is no opportunity wasted.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it.

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<v Speaker 2>So, if we can, let's go ahead and talk about how veterans can discover and embrace their unique strengths, especially during the transition period to civilian life.

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<v Speaker 3>I think one of the first things you have to do is get clear, and I use a lot of tools.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't just use my own books, I use other ones.

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<v Speaker 3>One of the first things I give a transitioning veteran is this book that my friend Lisa wrote From Duty to Destiny A Guide to the Essential A to Z of the Lessons we Learned in the Military so many of us leave and it's by Lisa Deschereaux.

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<v Speaker 3>I want y'all to see that right there.

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<v Speaker 3>She's a retired Air Force, which is why I always look for a veteran to encourage our veterans.

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<v Speaker 3>Lisa did a phenomenal job reminding us of all the skills that we had, that will translate into our civilian life.

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<v Speaker 3>Oftentimes we are not prepared for the unique community that is the civilian world and we'll get there, and then we lose sight of all of that experience and education that we had, and this book will help you put that into perspective.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's fantastic, and the more resources that are out there, I mean let's just, let's just call it what it is.

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<v Speaker 2>You know the conditioning going into the military to do what needs to be done is phenomenal.

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<v Speaker 2>Coming out to back to civilian life and reconnecting in those is lacking, and that's why I do what I do and I know you're doing it as well.

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<v Speaker 2>So hats off to you for everything that you do.

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<v Speaker 2>So, if we can, as far as the tap in method specifically, can you give us us some?

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<v Speaker 2>We can even do a role play, whatever the case may be.

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<v Speaker 2>But how can you use the tap-in method when specifically transitioning, if you will back into civilian life, Whether that be reconnection or whichever route you want to take with it, if you will?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, then I would say the first thing to your mindset you have to adjust your mindset to understand that number one.

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<v Speaker 3>It's possible.

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<v Speaker 3>You've already completed your time in the military, so what you got to understand is you already know how to overcome and adapt.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm going to use this term.

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<v Speaker 3>You have to know your enemy.

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<v Speaker 3>The civilian is not your enemy, but I would say you need to know what it means to be a civilian.

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<v Speaker 3>Now we don't have the same process and procedures.

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<v Speaker 3>For example, there's a big one that stresses our military.

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<v Speaker 3>Folks out is in the military.

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<v Speaker 3>We know everybody's pay.

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<v Speaker 3>Everybody knows what everybody's making.

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<v Speaker 3>It's no secret.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't get in civilian community and do that.

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<v Speaker 3>They hold that soul and they take it personal when you know what the person next to you is making.

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<v Speaker 3>But we have to negotiate, raises and do different things that we never had to do before.

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<v Speaker 3>So we adjust our mindset to the environment that we are currently being placed into.

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<v Speaker 3>First thing is get your mindset right and again, book will help you do that as you're thinking about your skills and how they translate into civilian community.

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<v Speaker 2>Excellent, can I just add really quick, also with neuroencoding, you know each step, each time you even realize that you need something to work on.

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<v Speaker 2>Celebrate it, just celebrate it.

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<v Speaker 2>Release those hormones, those endorphins, all of that good stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>So your brain is looking for that even more so and saying, ooh, what can I find, what can I do?

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<v Speaker 2>This is great, and it will help to make it a good thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I get to thing, not I have to thing and put you in gratefulness as well.

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<v Speaker 3>So I just wanted to add that in.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, if you want to go to A.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, then I would say you're going to announce that?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, when you get into the civilian community, you want to announce I'm going to the civilian community and let people know you're looking for a job.

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<v Speaker 3>What are you looking for specifically?

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<v Speaker 3>It's your first foray into networking in a different way than we had to do in the military.

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<v Speaker 3>We were just told where we were going and we showed them we did what we do, right.

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<v Speaker 3>But as a civilian, you have to decide what is the career you're going to go into, and then you're going to need to get some accountability.

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<v Speaker 3>Coaches need coaches, and when you get out as a transitioning veteran, you definitely need a coach.

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<v Speaker 3>Find another veteran that's already made the transition, that's been out for a little bit, that can give you some support, or go to one of the places that would offer that type of a help, like Veterans Services Department, or reach out to someone like you or myself.

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<v Speaker 3>There are so many different resources out there and I think we need to not neglect that by making sure we get the proper accountability is going to help us navigate through.

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<v Speaker 2>Love that.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know literally the success rate when you announce and I'm going to use your words because they're there and they're great.

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<v Speaker 2>When you get that accountability and you really dig in and find someone that truly is going to ask you hey, how'd you do with that?

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, did you accomplish that?

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<v Speaker 2>It changes the game and you, literally the percentage rises exponentially when you have that accountability.

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<v Speaker 2>So I love that you have this in your system.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's one of the most important parts to find somebody that helps you rise up.

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<v Speaker 3>I want to tell you a little quick story about that.

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<v Speaker 3>Michael, when I was in the civilian community I was told by this little snotty-nosed 19-year-old that my 20 years of service didn't mean anything.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean she barely had got out of school and she was in HR and she basically told me nobody cared about my military service.

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<v Speaker 3>I wanted to slap her in the next week, but again.

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<v Speaker 2>And this is why we have Brenda on the show, because she's real and she's fun and I love her to death.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, once I got over the shock of this little crazy person that I just served all these years so that she could tell me I didn't matter, I was like, okay Is that the way it goes Brenda go ahead.

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<v Speaker 2>It's pissing me off right now.

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<v Speaker 3>She was a little bouncing curl Picture this she was looking at her little bouncing curl Picture this A Marine gunnery sergeant with 20 plus years of active duty service.

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<v Speaker 3>Just my last assignment was at the Pentagon and probably I was in Samoa getting shot at, and this little snotty nose child told me she, literally she had allergies.

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<v Speaker 3>She was, you know, telling me what I just did didn't matter, wow.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, well, I'm going to tell you something.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, it does, it did.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I know it does, but here's the thing I would later discover I wasn't the only veteran that had that experience.

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<v Speaker 3>I walked out of there a little bit deflated and going what and not sure where to go from there and once I got my head right again I had to do the mindset shifted.

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<v Speaker 3>Regardless of what she said.

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<v Speaker 3>I already know who I am, I know whose I am and I know what I have accomplished, so she doesn't get to take that away from me.

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<v Speaker 3>So I went back and finished my paperwork and I still highlighted that and I uncrossed what she crossed out.

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<v Speaker 3>And when I went into the interview I made sure to tell the gentleman who interviewed me what she said and he was appalled.

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<v Speaker 3>They did have some conversation with her after, but it also was the first time I learned to self-advocate for myself and stand up for what I have accomplished, and I was fortunate that the man that would be in charge of me in that hospital was a retired naval officer, the man that would be in charge of me in that hospital was a retired Naval officer, so he kept me out of trouble.

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<v Speaker 3>So when I would do things that he would call the gunny things, like when somebody would say something that I want to snatch him in the collar he goes.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't do that in this community.

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<v Speaker 3>So I was fortunate I had a veteran that had been out for a while that was able to guide me and keep me from catching a case or keep me from getting an HR write-up because I had no tact.

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<v Speaker 3>I was used to telling people what to do, like if I told a Marine to jump, they asked off what and how high.

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<v Speaker 3>You tell a civilian they're still over there polishing their nails and you want to just oh baby.

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<v Speaker 3>So I had to learn how to get what I needed done in a way that was conducive to the environment I currently found myself in and the best advice he gave me was to learn your enemy.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I'm going to add fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to add that you know those experiences they're bad experiences until we actually learn from them, because almost anything and this, this goes a long way with PTSD when we get rid of and knock out the legs of the BS system, our belief system, we can change that and it changes the game.

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<v Speaker 2>When you change it into what can I learn from it and grow from?

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<v Speaker 2>Because, as human beings, that's what we want to do right the most.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what we need to do, we need to progress and that's how you stay out of depression and all the other things, the different categories of life.

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<v Speaker 2>So when you learn from it and you can move forward, it changes the game.

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<v Speaker 3>So thank you for bringing that up and you have an amazing story to tell it also will let you know that the things that you learned in the military are very useful to the civilian community, because I learned very quickly not to let them see me sweat.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, take the emotion out of it.

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<v Speaker 3>I used it as a way.

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<v Speaker 3>It became a game for me of how I could get what I needed done without losing it, and also how to negotiate.

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<v Speaker 3>And before in the Marine Corps, there was no negotiation, it was dictatorship.

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<v Speaker 3>You do what I said, you do it when I said it and you do it how I said it.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's a big community.

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<v Speaker 3>I had to learn the art of compromise.

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<v Speaker 3>I had to learn how to ask nicely could you, would you not get that done?

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<v Speaker 3>So it was a growth process.

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<v Speaker 3>It was painful at times.

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<v Speaker 3>There were days I had to go walk around the hospital and scream, you know, but I got through it.

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<v Speaker 3>And I got through it because I had a coach who was the veteran, that was my boss, that held my hand, that held space for me, that allowed me to still be me but grow in that position.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and that's and that's fantastic, fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>So I love all that information.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry something had popped up on the screen.

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<v Speaker 3>So prepare.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, absolutely.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know what I found as well is you don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Veterans don't realize all the skills because they're just in there and they're doing their job right.

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<v Speaker 2>They don't realize all of those because they're just in there and they're doing their job right.

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<v Speaker 2>They don't realize all of those skills, and it's something I work with a lot All the skills that you learn in there, those employers are looking for yes, right, Listen to that, that's not a nose one.

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<v Speaker 2>They're literally looking for that leadership.

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<v Speaker 2>They're looking for the figure it out.

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<v Speaker 2>They're looking for all those skills that you learn and their assets for yourself, for building your own business and all kinds of other things.

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<v Speaker 2>So I love that you bring that up.

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<v Speaker 2>So can we move into P?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the P to prepare.

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<v Speaker 3>When, after I got over the shock of the community, the way it was run, and I began to look at it from an objective way of saying this is my new mission, you know, and I would do my sit rep, you know what's my situation, what do I need to do to accomplish it, I just began to use those things that I learned in the military to navigate this new environment.

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<v Speaker 3>It was enemy territory and I didn't know how.

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<v Speaker 3>So I had to learn how, and I simply began to use those things of how to overcome and adapt when they would give me assignments.

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<v Speaker 3>They didn't understand you give a Marine an assignment, we get it done.

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<v Speaker 3>So if they say you have a million dollar budget and they want you to hit that, I was the only one coming in on budget and they were like how did she do it?

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<v Speaker 3>Because you gave me my assignment.

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<v Speaker 3>Now it's about how do I make that happen.

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<v Speaker 3>So that garnered me well with my superiors, because my military training had prepared me to go into an environment that was hostile, an environment that was foreign and an environment that was set up in my mind for me to fail if I did not learn how to overcome and adapt.

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<v Speaker 3>So being prepared to take the classes necessary, like negotiating 101, networking 101, how to have uncomfortable conversations.

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<v Speaker 3>I was taking classes, webinars, trainings.

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<v Speaker 3>I would ask questions.

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<v Speaker 3>I went around interviewing other veterans.

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<v Speaker 3>How did you navigate this?

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<v Speaker 3>I sought out Facebook groups.

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<v Speaker 3>I did everything I could to prepare myself for the environment I found myself in at that time, so that would be successful.

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<v Speaker 2>That's.

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<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic and such, such vital information, truly so.

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<v Speaker 2>You know I just brought this up.

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<v Speaker 2>You know Facebook groups and so on.

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<v Speaker 2>Get out there, get in the community.

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<v Speaker 2>On the top right corner of the I'm sorry, this is live.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a call coming in Top right corner there of your screen.

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<v Speaker 2>We have all the resources at EmpowerPerformanceStrategiescom.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're listening later on EmpowerPerformanceStrategiescom, get in community.

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<v Speaker 2>We have two Facebook groups.

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<v Speaker 2>Reach out to Brenda.

00:16:39.222 --> 00:16:41.772
<v Speaker 2>Just reach out to help.

00:16:41.772 --> 00:16:43.297
<v Speaker 2>Again, coaches need coaches.

00:16:43.297 --> 00:16:47.787
<v Speaker 2>I've got multiple coaches.

00:16:47.787 --> 00:16:51.374
<v Speaker 2>It's fantastic to really help you move forward faster.

00:16:51.961 --> 00:16:54.229
<v Speaker 3>Can I say something also about the preparation stages?

00:16:54.229 --> 00:16:59.532
<v Speaker 3>One of the biggest mistakes military people do is get discouraged because it is so different than what we're used to.

00:16:59.532 --> 00:17:03.779
<v Speaker 3>What I tell them be proactive and don't feel sorry for yourself.

00:17:03.779 --> 00:17:08.771
<v Speaker 3>This is just a new mission with new weapons and a new way of doing things.

00:17:08.771 --> 00:17:11.345
<v Speaker 3>We have been taught to overcome the debt.

00:17:11.345 --> 00:17:14.430
<v Speaker 3>We have been taught to survive whatever it takes.

00:17:14.430 --> 00:17:22.087
<v Speaker 3>You take all of that that you've been given in the military to create things out of nothing.

00:17:22.087 --> 00:17:23.732
<v Speaker 3>You're going to stand out above your peers.

00:17:24.555 --> 00:17:28.105
<v Speaker 3>I received four raises in the first year.

00:17:28.105 --> 00:17:30.030
<v Speaker 3>By the time I left, I had got 13 raises.

00:17:30.030 --> 00:17:31.563
<v Speaker 3>Everybody was like how did you do that?

00:17:31.563 --> 00:17:35.605
<v Speaker 3>The first thing I did was I read their SOPs and I found out what it took.

00:17:35.605 --> 00:17:39.644
<v Speaker 3>Every time they asked me to do something new in the military, they asked you to do something new that scope creep.

00:17:39.644 --> 00:17:40.247
<v Speaker 3>You just do it.

00:17:40.247 --> 00:17:42.239
<v Speaker 3>In the civilian world they say do something new.

00:17:42.239 --> 00:17:48.367
<v Speaker 3>You say how much you going to pay me, but if you don't know that, don't do that, michael.

00:17:48.367 --> 00:17:57.948
<v Speaker 3>I got a 19% raise because I had kept track of every scope creep they gave me and when I took it to HR, they looked at me and they had to pay me.

00:17:57.948 --> 00:17:59.510
<v Speaker 3>That's the civilian community.

00:17:59.510 --> 00:18:02.667
<v Speaker 3>Once I figured that out, baby, it was on then by the time.

00:18:02.728 --> 00:18:03.329
<v Speaker 3>I left there.

00:18:03.329 --> 00:18:07.221
<v Speaker 3>I started that job making $12 an hour.

00:18:07.221 --> 00:18:09.623
<v Speaker 3>When I left, I was making six figures.

00:18:10.782 --> 00:18:11.163
<v Speaker 2>Amen.

00:18:12.525 --> 00:18:16.647
<v Speaker 3>Preach Again learn your territory and take it.

00:18:17.228 --> 00:18:18.690
<v Speaker 2>I love it, I absolutely love it.

00:18:18.690 --> 00:18:27.355
<v Speaker 2>And here's the thing you know, if you're feeling anxiety, you're feeling stress about that future, or you know, put a smile on your face Again.

00:18:27.355 --> 00:18:31.500
<v Speaker 2>Releases those endorphins so that you can get yourself in a resourceful state.

00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:36.500
<v Speaker 2>Two, go into that battle plan and do the things Brenda's saying.

00:18:36.500 --> 00:18:38.044
<v Speaker 2>You know there's so many.

00:18:38.044 --> 00:18:40.531
<v Speaker 2>You know I call it excited anticipation.

00:18:40.531 --> 00:18:44.150
<v Speaker 2>It's not necessarily stress, because it feels the same in the body.

00:18:44.150 --> 00:18:49.471
<v Speaker 2>It actually can be excitement for the future if you put your mind in the right place.

00:18:49.471 --> 00:18:50.766
<v Speaker 2>And I think we're going back to the T.

00:18:52.380 --> 00:18:52.660
<v Speaker 3>Again.

00:18:52.660 --> 00:19:02.515
<v Speaker 3>It's transforming your mindset to understand that, although it's a new environment, this is an environment that, as a military person, please let me share with you.

00:19:02.515 --> 00:19:08.593
<v Speaker 3>You can conquer and win this one, and you can win this one with ease because of your military training.

00:19:08.593 --> 00:19:13.972
<v Speaker 3>It's not a detriment, it's actually to your advantage because you're going to go the extra mile.

00:19:13.972 --> 00:19:17.173
<v Speaker 3>Simple things like they've never heard of CAR car training before.

00:19:17.173 --> 00:19:23.011
<v Speaker 3>I got to that hospital when one little lady left with her little bad attitude, it shut my whole office down.

00:19:23.011 --> 00:19:27.351
<v Speaker 3>But when I said cross training, they did not know what that was.

00:19:27.351 --> 00:19:31.487
<v Speaker 3>So you have a whole way of thinking and doing.

00:19:31.487 --> 00:19:34.834
<v Speaker 3>That's going to make you very valuable to your employers.

00:19:34.834 --> 00:19:44.721
<v Speaker 3>And the other thing is to know how the pay is doled out to your particular organization, because in the civilian community you can ask for more and often you can get it.

00:19:45.382 --> 00:19:46.325
<v Speaker 2>Amen, amen.

00:19:46.325 --> 00:19:48.971
<v Speaker 2>And cross-training should be everywhere, everywhere.

00:19:48.971 --> 00:19:50.280
<v Speaker 2>It literally should be everywhere.

00:19:50.280 --> 00:19:52.345
<v Speaker 2>Person goes on vacation no problem.

00:19:52.345 --> 00:19:55.048
<v Speaker 2>Person gets sick no problem, whatever the case may be.

00:19:55.048 --> 00:20:00.624
<v Speaker 2>So vital information and again using those skills.

00:20:00.624 --> 00:20:02.366
<v Speaker 2>So let's move into I.

00:20:03.048 --> 00:20:18.151
<v Speaker 3>Okay, I love this the most, the best, because why I love this is because that's when you get a time to sit with self and ask yourself what would my life look like if, if I actually got the coaching, if I actually got the training?

00:20:18.151 --> 00:20:23.372
<v Speaker 3>And also to visualize not if, but what would my life look like when?

00:20:23.372 --> 00:20:27.164
<v Speaker 3>Because now you, you have the pen to write the story of your life.

00:20:27.164 --> 00:20:33.028
<v Speaker 3>You might as well make it an epic adventure, and if you're going to write that story, then write one that you want to live.

00:20:33.028 --> 00:20:35.597
<v Speaker 3>What is the job you want to do?

00:20:35.597 --> 00:20:36.853
<v Speaker 3>What is the career you want to be a part of?

00:20:36.853 --> 00:20:43.070
<v Speaker 3>What is the job you want to do, what is the career you want to be a part of, what is the business you want to start, and what would your life look like when you have it?

00:20:43.070 --> 00:20:52.593
<v Speaker 3>I want you to dream big and then dream bigger than that, because the only thing keeping you from being what you say you want to be is you.

00:20:53.701 --> 00:20:56.567
<v Speaker 2>That is so true Because your thoughts are your reality.

00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:57.641
<v Speaker 3>Your thoughts are your reality.

00:20:57.641 --> 00:20:58.251
<v Speaker 3>It is so true because your thoughts are your reality.

00:20:58.251 --> 00:20:58.425
<v Speaker 3>Your thoughts are your reality.

00:20:58.425 --> 00:20:59.249
<v Speaker 3>It's so true.

00:20:59.249 --> 00:20:59.690
<v Speaker 3>There you go.

00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:10.662
<v Speaker 2>It's so vital and truly.

00:21:10.662 --> 00:21:16.205
<v Speaker 2>One step, once you do that first step right With the dreaming.

00:21:16.205 --> 00:21:20.808
<v Speaker 2>One step, once you do that first step right With the dreaming you create the plan.

00:21:20.828 --> 00:21:22.269
<v Speaker 1>Create the plan, create a vision board.

00:21:22.289 --> 00:21:26.073
<v Speaker 2>I don't like vision boards, because it's going to happen, you know it's your vision of the future.

00:21:26.472 --> 00:21:32.678
<v Speaker 2>So I think it's super important to just bring that out, start that dream, because you can literally do anything.

00:21:32.678 --> 00:21:41.092
<v Speaker 2>Just got chills, literally literally, if you just take the action and move forward and believe in yourself.

00:21:41.092 --> 00:21:42.559
<v Speaker 2>You know there's going to be times you're like, why am I doing this?

00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:44.064
<v Speaker 2>And then, guess what?

00:21:44.064 --> 00:21:46.711
<v Speaker 2>Fold your panties and take the next step.

00:21:46.711 --> 00:21:47.112
<v Speaker 2>There you go.

00:21:47.112 --> 00:21:57.279
<v Speaker 2>You know, so did I just say that love it hanging out with brenda, see what happened.

00:21:57.279 --> 00:22:04.592
<v Speaker 2>So um, so again that this is the funnest part and I love that.

00:22:04.592 --> 00:22:13.367
<v Speaker 2>You know, as soon as you said it we both just lit up right really where you get to to make your vision of your future.

00:22:13.367 --> 00:22:17.012
<v Speaker 2>You get to, you get to understand that.

00:22:17.633 --> 00:22:20.576
<v Speaker 3>I love that you get to.

00:22:21.622 --> 00:22:27.602
<v Speaker 3>It is the part when you say you get to, I need the people that's listening now and on the replay you got to get this.

00:22:27.602 --> 00:22:37.376
<v Speaker 3>I am a retired Marine Corps gunnery sergeant with 20 years of active service, traumatic brain injury, post-traumatic stress disorder, military sexual trauma.

00:22:37.376 --> 00:22:39.182
<v Speaker 3>I was on 22 different medications.

00:22:39.182 --> 00:22:46.765
<v Speaker 3>I was told I would not be able to form a rational sentence If you had told me I lived the life I live today.

00:22:46.765 --> 00:22:49.310
<v Speaker 3>Five years ago, 10 years ago.

00:22:49.310 --> 00:22:56.843
<v Speaker 3>Well, 10 years ago, five years ago, I'd have told you on hallucinogenic drugs, but one day I decided that I'm not going to let somebody else write my story.

00:22:57.525 --> 00:23:07.967
<v Speaker 3>And that's when I began to tap in for myself physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, financially and when I decided what my life would look like.

00:23:07.967 --> 00:23:08.971
<v Speaker 3>I said I want to be debt free.

00:23:08.971 --> 00:23:09.291
<v Speaker 3>I'm debt free.

00:23:09.291 --> 00:23:10.395
<v Speaker 3>I said I wanted to live my best life.

00:23:10.395 --> 00:23:11.460
<v Speaker 3>Now, no opportunity wasted.

00:23:11.460 --> 00:23:28.851
<v Speaker 3>I'm doing that, but it required me to make a definite decision, make a transformation that allowed me to tap into those things I say I wanted and then go for it, whatever it takes, because my thoughts were my reality and today my thoughts are my reality.

00:23:29.692 --> 00:23:30.957
<v Speaker 2>And an amazing reality.

00:23:30.957 --> 00:23:31.641
<v Speaker 2>That is my friend.

00:23:31.641 --> 00:23:38.394
<v Speaker 2>I watch you popping up and doing all these different things in the life that you have created because you chose to.

00:23:38.394 --> 00:23:41.749
<v Speaker 2>This is a blessed, amazing one.

00:23:41.749 --> 00:23:43.967
<v Speaker 2>I always tell people life is a choice.

00:23:44.460 --> 00:23:49.291
<v Speaker 3>You know the choices I make today have definitely been the realities that you will.

00:23:49.291 --> 00:23:52.349
<v Speaker 3>I say the choices you make today will be the reality you live tomorrow.

00:23:52.349 --> 00:23:54.448
<v Speaker 3>So choose wisely every day.

00:23:54.448 --> 00:23:55.923
<v Speaker 3>I know the choice I make today.

00:23:55.923 --> 00:23:59.332
<v Speaker 3>It may not change anything today but next week.

00:23:59.332 --> 00:24:03.592
<v Speaker 3>If I choose to eat donuts every day for the next 30 days, you best believe my reality is going to be bad.

00:24:03.592 --> 00:24:11.248
<v Speaker 3>But if I choose to get on that treadmill and eat some salad instead, baby, fit, fierce and fabulous, here I come.

00:24:14.422 --> 00:24:17.624
<v Speaker 2>You know, and that's the thing you know, I always tell my clients um friends, family, myself.

00:24:17.624 --> 00:24:31.109
<v Speaker 2>You know, and that's the thing you know, I always tell my clients um friends, family, myself that if you're steering a ship and you make a two degree change, your destination's all kinds of different from where you think you're going and that can be good or bad.

00:24:31.109 --> 00:24:38.362
<v Speaker 2>So steer the ship two degrees in the right way, because the results will start, the results will continue and you will reach it.

00:24:39.284 --> 00:24:39.865
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you will.

00:24:40.247 --> 00:24:42.010
<v Speaker 3>It just takes you making a definite decision.

00:24:42.010 --> 00:24:48.181
<v Speaker 3>And then that gets us to the nurture part, michael, because you have to celebrate your big and your small wins.

00:24:48.181 --> 00:25:06.969
<v Speaker 3>I don't care what it is If you actually stepped out and got your resume completed and you actually went out on the job interviews and then you got the job and say it wasn't your perfect job and you say the one thing I loved realizing the first time I realized, unlike in the military, where you go assignment to assignment, I got to choose.

00:25:06.969 --> 00:25:09.746
<v Speaker 3>When I didn't like something I could quit, go find another job.

00:25:09.746 --> 00:25:11.592
<v Speaker 3>You don't have to stay there.

00:25:12.093 --> 00:25:14.442
<v Speaker 3>I like these two short to live in the negative.

00:25:14.442 --> 00:25:18.553
<v Speaker 3>So I say nurture and celebrate yourself.

00:25:18.553 --> 00:25:21.365
<v Speaker 3>Celebrate the small as well as the big wins.

00:25:21.365 --> 00:25:29.911
<v Speaker 3>If you're only win today, for some of you that's out there that say, brenda, I'm struggling, ok, you got up today and you acknowledge the struggle, baby, celebrate that.

00:25:29.911 --> 00:25:33.183
<v Speaker 3>But don't stay in the struggle.

00:25:33.183 --> 00:25:40.422
<v Speaker 3>Get out, get the necessary professional help that you need to get you to that next level.

00:25:40.422 --> 00:25:47.648
<v Speaker 3>I remind everybody if you feel like you want to hurt yourself for somebody else, call the National Crisis Hotline 988-DIRTCHENS-DOLL-1.

00:25:47.648 --> 00:25:49.981
<v Speaker 3>I made that call five years ago and I'm still here.

00:25:49.981 --> 00:26:04.603
<v Speaker 3>I'm still fighting, I'm still being the voice for the voiceless, and I want us to nurture every small as well as the major accomplishment that we make, because that's how it'll keep us motivated when things don't seem like they're going to best.

00:26:05.183 --> 00:26:06.086
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, absolutely.

00:26:06.086 --> 00:26:08.461
<v Speaker 2>And I'm going to add back onto that Celebrate.

00:26:08.461 --> 00:26:09.503
<v Speaker 2>Celebrate.

00:26:09.503 --> 00:26:10.547
<v Speaker 2>You got out of bed.

00:26:10.547 --> 00:26:11.789
<v Speaker 2>Celebrate, you brushed your teeth.

00:26:11.789 --> 00:26:12.961
<v Speaker 2>Celebrate, you did that.

00:26:12.961 --> 00:26:13.644
<v Speaker 2>One goal.

00:26:13.644 --> 00:26:17.212
<v Speaker 2>And when you celebrate, celebrate for real.

00:26:17.212 --> 00:26:20.986
<v Speaker 2>We celebrate and we do more for others than we do for ourselves.

00:26:20.986 --> 00:26:22.632
<v Speaker 2>Celebrate.

00:26:22.632 --> 00:26:24.539
<v Speaker 2>It's just mcclendon's going to be on tomorrow.

00:26:24.539 --> 00:26:25.762
<v Speaker 2>I'll talk about that in just a second.

00:26:25.762 --> 00:26:29.751
<v Speaker 2>My, my mentor, you know it's called astitute shake your ass, dance.

00:26:29.751 --> 00:26:33.733
<v Speaker 2>I guarantee you start shaking your ass and you start dancing.

00:26:33.733 --> 00:26:36.221
<v Speaker 2>You're going to start smiling, all the good endorphins again.

00:26:36.221 --> 00:26:38.366
<v Speaker 2>And you just keep looking for more.

00:26:38.366 --> 00:26:40.230
<v Speaker 2>And that's the key, guys.

00:26:40.230 --> 00:26:40.550
<v Speaker 2>That's.

00:26:40.550 --> 00:26:45.730
<v Speaker 2>The key is to keep looking for what's next, keep moving forward, just like Brenda's saying.

00:26:45.730 --> 00:26:49.183
<v Speaker 2>Just like Brenda's saying so, fantastic Brenda.

00:26:49.183 --> 00:26:51.450
<v Speaker 2>Anything else that you'd like to talk about?

00:26:51.450 --> 00:26:52.721
<v Speaker 2>We're getting close to the end of the show.

00:26:52.740 --> 00:26:53.603
<v Speaker 3>You know I wanted to share.

00:26:53.603 --> 00:26:54.124
<v Speaker 3>I brought this.

00:26:54.124 --> 00:26:55.026
<v Speaker 3>This is just for you.

00:26:55.026 --> 00:26:56.288
<v Speaker 3>This is my friend, bruce.

00:26:56.288 --> 00:27:08.825
<v Speaker 3>I sleep with Bruce at night and that's because Bruce is my shark.

00:27:08.825 --> 00:27:09.606
<v Speaker 3>Bruce, I'm a shark.

00:27:09.606 --> 00:27:12.893
<v Speaker 3>I'm obsessed with sharks and guinea pigs, but I have a stuffed shark and they are my comfort.

00:27:12.913 --> 00:27:23.980
<v Speaker 3>Shark Smells like lavender, it helps keep me at peace, it helps with my PTSD, and so, whatever it is for you, some of you might say a 61 year old woman holding a shark yes, you know why?

00:27:23.980 --> 00:27:26.087
<v Speaker 3>Because I channel my inner shark.

00:27:26.087 --> 00:27:36.307
<v Speaker 3>Bruce reminds me to be relentless, to be unapologetically unstoppable, to know that there is nothing and I mean nothing I can't accomplish when I put my mind to it.

00:27:36.307 --> 00:27:41.554
<v Speaker 3>So here's a physical reminder to stay grounded and attached to this side of the line.

00:27:41.554 --> 00:27:45.284
<v Speaker 3>It may not take a stuffed shark for you, but sharks are resilient.

00:27:45.284 --> 00:27:47.548
<v Speaker 3>They don't stop, they don't give up.

00:27:47.548 --> 00:27:50.561
<v Speaker 3>They seek out what they want and they go for it.

00:27:50.982 --> 00:27:53.348
<v Speaker 3>Sharks don't apologize for biting stuff, they just eat it up.

00:27:53.348 --> 00:27:57.830
<v Speaker 3>So stop apologizing for being who you are and simply embrace that.

00:27:57.830 --> 00:27:58.521
<v Speaker 3>Don't apologize.

00:27:58.521 --> 00:28:00.606
<v Speaker 3>If you sleep with a shark like I do, it's okay.

00:28:00.606 --> 00:28:02.491
<v Speaker 3>I won't judge, judge your free zone.

00:28:02.491 --> 00:28:04.903
<v Speaker 3>I love it.

00:28:04.903 --> 00:28:07.148
<v Speaker 3>He's my buddy.

00:28:07.148 --> 00:28:15.865
<v Speaker 3>He's my pal and, like I said, he reminds me to stay unapologetically, unstoppable and live my best life now.

00:28:15.865 --> 00:28:18.530
<v Speaker 3>No opportunity wasted because we don't get a do-over.

00:28:18.530 --> 00:28:19.612
<v Speaker 3>It's not a dress rehearsal.

00:28:20.314 --> 00:28:22.026
<v Speaker 3>I love it and a lot of us will get that.

00:28:22.026 --> 00:28:26.028
<v Speaker 3>So reach out and hug a shark, or hug somebody you love and just live your best life.

00:28:26.671 --> 00:28:27.613
<v Speaker 2>Amazing, amazing.

00:28:27.613 --> 00:28:32.085
<v Speaker 2>Hey, and I just got to tell you I love that you brought up the shark, because that's our thing.

00:28:32.085 --> 00:28:34.467
<v Speaker 2>I'm a stupid diver, you know, so I just love to talk about it.

00:28:34.467 --> 00:28:35.248
<v Speaker 2>I brought that for you.

00:28:35.248 --> 00:28:36.229
<v Speaker 2>I brought Bruce for you.

00:28:36.229 --> 00:28:37.490
<v Speaker 2>I appreciate it.

00:28:37.490 --> 00:28:40.753
<v Speaker 2>All I know is I saw my wife pop up saying she loves Bruce.

00:28:40.753 --> 00:28:42.036
<v Speaker 2>I may be getting a complaint.

00:28:42.036 --> 00:28:43.277
<v Speaker 2>I say that again.

00:28:46.162 --> 00:28:51.371
<v Speaker 3>And if my wife calls me Bruce tonight, we have another little one up here.

00:28:51.371 --> 00:29:02.951
<v Speaker 3>There are sharks all over my house and that's how I tell you do what it is to cue you, because sometimes it's just seeing a shark will make me smile, which will reduce my stress.

00:29:02.951 --> 00:29:16.805
<v Speaker 3>I protect my peace at all costs, michael, because I know me and with some of the anger issues that I've had to work through over the years, this shark right here has kept me from cussing, fussing and slapping a couple of folks.

00:29:16.805 --> 00:29:19.082
<v Speaker 3>Oh man.

00:29:19.142 --> 00:29:19.804
<v Speaker 2>I need a Bruce.

00:29:20.125 --> 00:29:20.988
<v Speaker 3>You need a Bruce.

00:29:20.988 --> 00:29:21.549
<v Speaker 3>You need a Bruce.

00:29:21.549 --> 00:29:22.432
<v Speaker 3>Everybody needs a little Bruce.

00:29:22.432 --> 00:29:23.154
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to get a shirt.

00:29:23.154 --> 00:29:23.777
<v Speaker 3>You need a Bruce.

00:29:24.680 --> 00:29:26.307
<v Speaker 2>Everybody needs a little Bruce in their life.

00:29:26.307 --> 00:29:29.239
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

00:29:29.239 --> 00:29:30.766
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much.

00:29:30.766 --> 00:29:37.287
<v Speaker 2>As always, I'm going to ask for three final tips to get veterans Hold on if I do that right Further faster.

00:29:38.108 --> 00:29:46.690
<v Speaker 3>Let's see Tune into your strengths, because you identify your unique strengths is going to help you go further, faster, longer.

00:29:46.690 --> 00:29:50.048
<v Speaker 3>Take an assessment of your why.

00:29:50.048 --> 00:29:52.848
<v Speaker 3>Why do you do the things that you do and why do you want it.

00:29:52.848 --> 00:29:55.420
<v Speaker 3>And the last tip is the five questions.

00:29:55.420 --> 00:29:56.585
<v Speaker 3>Ask yourself these five questions what do you want?

00:29:56.585 --> 00:29:56.987
<v Speaker 3>Why do you want it?

00:29:56.987 --> 00:29:59.237
<v Speaker 3>And the last tip is the five question Ask yourself these five questions what do you want?

00:29:59.237 --> 00:30:05.752
<v Speaker 3>Why do you want it, how does it benefit you, how does it benefit others and what are you willing to do to make it happen?

00:30:05.752 --> 00:30:10.251
<v Speaker 3>Tap into your genius and your life will be full.

00:30:11.019 --> 00:30:12.144
<v Speaker 2>I absolutely love it.

00:30:12.144 --> 00:30:14.230
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's that final tip.

00:30:14.230 --> 00:30:23.295
<v Speaker 2>I mean, they're all fantastic, but the final tip, when you start with what you want, it's amazing how it comes to you and it comes to fruition.

00:30:23.295 --> 00:30:28.705
<v Speaker 2>It's with the work, no one's giving you nothing, no one's giving you nothing.

00:30:28.705 --> 00:30:31.439
<v Speaker 2>So that's just a fantastic tip.

00:30:31.439 --> 00:30:40.109
<v Speaker 2>So you know, with that said, as always, oh, before I do this, joseph McClendon III, my mentor, 50th episode.

00:30:40.130 --> 00:30:41.131
<v Speaker 3>Congratulations.

00:30:41.211 --> 00:30:42.472
<v Speaker 2>Celebration tomorrow.

00:30:42.472 --> 00:30:43.673
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much.

00:30:43.673 --> 00:30:45.415
<v Speaker 2>11 o'clock, please tune in.

00:30:45.415 --> 00:31:00.011
<v Speaker 2>Going to be fantastic, just celebrating that we've done our 50th and just moving forward, super excited to have him on With that said, brenda, of course you, my friend, are a blast.

00:31:00.011 --> 00:31:03.210
<v Speaker 2>I love it every time you're on here and our conversations before and after.

00:31:03.210 --> 00:31:09.030
<v Speaker 2>So our most precious resource we have as human beings is time.

00:31:09.030 --> 00:31:10.354
<v Speaker 2>We do not get it back.

00:31:10.354 --> 00:31:12.605
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for always spending this time with us.

00:31:12.605 --> 00:31:13.689
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much.

00:31:14.069 --> 00:31:14.490
<v Speaker 3>I love it.

00:31:14.490 --> 00:31:15.503
<v Speaker 3>Thank you for having me.

00:31:15.986 --> 00:31:18.868
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, and on that note, we are out of here.

00:31:23.026 --> 00:31:29.484
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your thoughts your reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.

00:31:29.484 --> 00:31:33.162
<v Speaker 1>We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.

00:31:33.162 --> 00:31:39.708
<v Speaker 1>To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.

00:31:39.708 --> 00:31:44.685
<v Speaker 1>Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.

00:31:44.685 --> 00:31:49.749
<v Speaker 1>Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.

00:31:49.749 --> 00:31:51.506
<v Speaker 1>Catch you on the next episode.