Unlocking Success: How Terry Fosum's Leadership Strategies Can Make You Achieve Success and Growth

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<v Speaker 1>Every single person on the face of this earth who has ever succeeded at anything has failed, and failed and failed.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you're failing, why don't you go?

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<v Speaker 2>yes, yes, I'm on the right path.

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<v Speaker 2>Why you didn't reach that goal?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's his famous TED talk.

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<v Speaker 2>It's his Oscar technique.

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<v Speaker 2>The book is going to take us through the three stages of how to achieve every single goal that you wanted.

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<v Speaker 1>When you start getting cold, you start to shiver, but at some point you stop shivering and you feel comfortable and you die.

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<v Speaker 1>The comfort zone is where people and dreams go to die, and that's where mediocrity lives.

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<v Speaker 1>The fact that 92% of the people who set a goal fail there's a reason why most of what we've been taught about goal setting is wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's Terry Fossum.

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<v Speaker 2>So, Terry, straight up your definition of success.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, so many people look at success like a destination or something to achieve.

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<v Speaker 1>To me, success is an emotion, because emotion, not fact, is the creator of all action.

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<v Speaker 1>So therefore, emotion needs to be where you get to.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're looking at I'm going to do all this, so I have a big house, that's not going to drive you.

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<v Speaker 1>But rather, if you can create that feeling, that emotion that you're personally looking, it might be peace of mind, it might be the feeling of accomplishment, it might be I helped a lot of people, but it's an emotion, not a thing.

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<v Speaker 2>When?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, no one's ever said it to me that way before.

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<v Speaker 2>When did that become a reality for you?

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<v Speaker 1>Like as a young man.

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<v Speaker 1>I imagine it shifted over time.

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<v Speaker 1>I think for all of us it shifts over time if we're honest with ourselves, and that's fantastic.

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<v Speaker 1>For me it just started happening.

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<v Speaker 1>Naturally I've got to give a shout out to Boy Scouts because I was a big Boy Scout, still am, and it really started instilling in me those emotions of success way back then, of getting the merit badge.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, of time we can laugh about that, but it's actually really important.

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<v Speaker 1>So I think even way back as a kid I started realizing that it is about emotions.

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<v Speaker 1>Therefore, if I could create that emotion in others, then I could lead them.

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<v Speaker 1>So to me it was always about that Got it.

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<v Speaker 2>So where do you feel in your life?

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<v Speaker 2>You first chose success as your performance standard, as your way of life.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it really was back in scouts.

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<v Speaker 1>It really was because I wanted to lead, I wanted to help people, which was always the driving force for me, and so it was back then that I became a patrol leader, senior patrol leader then in different things over most of the state of Texas and everything.

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<v Speaker 1>So way back then that I started creating that just moved on through my life.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I remember being a boy scout way back and doing all the things, and my camp leader, ivan Ivan, was a great influence on my life as well.

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<v Speaker 2>So if you look at success, though and I think some of your great teachings around the subject to success is not just choosing it once, but how it's a continuous thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Take me more into that thinking.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 1>The decision to succeed does not happen once.

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<v Speaker 1>It happens every single day, in fact several times a day, by the actions we take and do not take.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, actually it probably happens several times a meal if you're trying to be healthy, and several times you know those sorts of things.

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<v Speaker 2>What is it then that keeps someone choosing success?

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<v Speaker 2>Let's dive into that.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to get into Oxycontin a little bit, but what's the starting point of that, do you think?

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's really creating emotion.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, just deciding how you want to feel and we're going to go counterintuitive and a lot of things in the next portion here but it really is about moving forward in the direction that you feel the best in.

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<v Speaker 1>For some people, again, that's going to be I'm going to kick butt in business man, I'm going to be a billionaire.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm going to do, and here's the feelings that I'll get when I get that.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's what it's all about.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a real interesting one.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, what is then the Terry Fossum formula for success, like how does success happen in your mind?

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<v Speaker 2>What makes someone successful?

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<v Speaker 1>I can't answer that question for someone else, right, because it's going to be for them what my job is.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know what your job is and, by the way, I want to commend you and all of your action coaches for seriously making a difference in the world, for helping people with what success means to them.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's absolutely amazing what your organization is doing.

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<v Speaker 1>That becomes our job, then to figure out what success means to them and then help them achieve that level, maybe push them further than they believe they can, without question, but towards something they want to go towards, because otherwise it's like pushing a rope it ain't going to happen unless they want it, unless they internalize it, unless it's their emotions.

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<v Speaker 2>So what was your formula for success for you, then?

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<v Speaker 2>How did you achieve?

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<v Speaker 2>What were the components of it?

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<v Speaker 2>Obviously, some coaching or some guidance was part of it.

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<v Speaker 2>What else is part of that?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I think a huge part was something to go away from, and I know we're going to talk about that in a bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, we can dive straight into that because, oxcart, you know, when you look at that strategy, the moving away from is a really important part.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's dive into that first segment now.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you got it.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobel Prize winning.

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<v Speaker 1>Prospect theory taught us that we'll do more to avoid pain than to go toward pleasure.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll do more to go away from pain than toward pleasure.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of times we talk about the why, and the why is critical.

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<v Speaker 1>It really is why we want to do something.

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<v Speaker 1>But more powerful, much more powerful, is why we must do something.

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<v Speaker 1>What happens if we don't succeed?

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<v Speaker 1>An example I'd like to use.

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<v Speaker 1>There was recently in the news up in the northwest here.

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<v Speaker 1>There was a gentleman whose son was being attacked by a bear, being attacked by a bear.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, he's not Grizzly Adams, he's not going to wrestle that bear.

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<v Speaker 1>There's nothing he can do about it.

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<v Speaker 1>That 500-pound bear will win.

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<v Speaker 1>But fact doesn't matter when emotion is involved Because, again, emotion, not fact, is the driver of all action.

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<v Speaker 1>That man killed that bear with a piece of firewood.

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<v Speaker 1>Why Not to go toward something, a positive visualization?

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<v Speaker 1>Afterwards we're going to go get ice cream.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's.

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<v Speaker 1>If I don't do this, my son will die.

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<v Speaker 1>And we can focus much more when we focus on why we must succeed, and that's what drove me.

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<v Speaker 1>You probably read a little bit about my past.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to, when I'm talking with salespeople, talk about broken bones versus being healthy.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, someone's not going to the doctor if they just feel a little unhealthy, but they're going to the doctor if they break their bones.

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<v Speaker 2>They got to take action with that.

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<v Speaker 2>What led you to that theory?

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<v Speaker 2>No-transcript.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I really did.

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<v Speaker 1>You know the fact that 92% of the people who set a goal fail.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a reason why most of what we've been taught about goal setting is wrong or incomplete.

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<v Speaker 1>What drove me is being raised in literally the poorest city in the entire United States of America, a small Texas-Mexico border town.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody's heard of it now McAllen, texas.

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<v Speaker 1>Where the border crossings are happening, cartels, all that kind of stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Where the border crossings are happening, cartels, all that kind of stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>And don't get me wrong, I love my hometown.

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<v Speaker 1>I really do.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the people there.

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<v Speaker 1>It's fantastic, but it can be a little rough growing up there sometimes with all the gangs and the drugs.

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<v Speaker 1>I was on the wrong end of an assault rifle in junior high in my own back alley.

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<v Speaker 1>In high school my father was killed.

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<v Speaker 1>Before he died, one of the neighbors came up to him and said I just want to make sure you understand something.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to make sure you say those three boys of yours, your three sons not a single one of them will ever grow up to be anything.

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<v Speaker 1>That could have torn me down.

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<v Speaker 1>I could have believed it and instead I used it.

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<v Speaker 1>I used it to fire me up, and that's what the Octocard technique is all about.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's look at the failure scenario.

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<v Speaker 1>You know Gene Kranz is known for saying failure is not an option.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually met Gene Kranz.

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<v Speaker 1>I sat in his chair there in Mission Control and that was not his quote.

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<v Speaker 1>It's I want options and failure is not one of them.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, failure can be a fantastic driver.

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<v Speaker 1>It's creating emotion, and negative emotion will kick you out of that comfort zone with those beautiful positive visualizations of bunnies and unicorns just won't do it for me, never grew up to be anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Forget that.

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<v Speaker 2>Forget that that's not the exact words I used yeah, yeah, I'm australian, so I know the words you use most probably you know.

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<v Speaker 2>But when you think about that because I go back to my own beginning and it was a negative that fired me up in the beginning today it's today, it's the positives in most cases, but it's it's that I had to get away from something as a beginning and and you know you use the term the stick it's like know, people say there's a carrot and stick as a manager, sometimes as a manager, the stick is more important than the carrot.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, sometimes, as a parent, the stick is more important than the carrot.

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<v Speaker 2>But when we become an adult, there almost is no negative consequence if we don't achieve our goals.

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<v Speaker 1>And here's the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why most people don't achieve that goal because they haven't realized yeah, there really is, there really is Now.

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<v Speaker 1>I was working with my own coach the other day and I was talking about the things we want to launch out.

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<v Speaker 1>For me personally, if I don't launch this out, okay, you know, I'm doing, okay, I'm doing all right, right.

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<v Speaker 1>So what I have to do is I have to create that failure scenario based on something else outside of myself.

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<v Speaker 1>If I don't launch out with this ox card technique, you can get it in people's hands.

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<v Speaker 1>There are people out there like me who are crying, who are wondering I've tried everything that I've learned everything.

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<v Speaker 1>I keep failing and failing and failing.

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<v Speaker 1>Those people out there like me are crying right now for help, and if I don't get this out there, what's going to happen to them?

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<v Speaker 1>And that is what drives me.

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<v Speaker 2>I had one of my team years ago and she'd keep setting the goal and she kept not hitting the goal.

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<v Speaker 2>And I sat down with her one day and I just asked her the question what's most important to you in your life?

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<v Speaker 2>And she said you know my family, my dogs.

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<v Speaker 2>I said, oh, your dogs?

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<v Speaker 2>Great, if you don't hit this goal, you have to sell your dog.

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<v Speaker 2>And she's like I'm not doing that, I'm not selling my dog.

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<v Speaker 2>Great, then hit the goal.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like but I'm not selling my dog.

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<v Speaker 2>Great, then hit the goal.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you going to hit the goal?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, great.

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<v Speaker 2>Then let's make an agreement that if you don't, you sell the dog.

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<v Speaker 2>And it took her about 20 minutes to get it through her head that this is a difference between the pig and the chicken.

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<v Speaker 2>You know I'm actually part committed on this thing.

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<v Speaker 2>So if you're sitting with someone today, terry, and they are in a position, you know, similar to you and me they're doing okay, they're doing good and they don't need to do it how do you spin them that they do actually need?

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<v Speaker 2>How do you get them to face a reality of need?

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely Great question, and I, of course, talk about that in my book and give some examples.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the things that I love to do is then find out what's important to them, Because now they're at that success level that's no longer a driver at all, they're already there.

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<v Speaker 1>So what is what's a cause that's important to them?

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<v Speaker 1>Are there starving children out there that they could help out?

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<v Speaker 1>Is there cancer out there that's affected somebody in their family?

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<v Speaker 1>What about Alzheimer's that might affect them someday?

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<v Speaker 1>There are causes out there that need funding desperately that will change somebody's life maybe your children's life, maybe your family's life, maybe your life.

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<v Speaker 1>When we equate it to that something that is important to them, that they understand oh crap, wait a minute.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, I do need to do this.

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<v Speaker 1>I've got Alzheimer's in my family.

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<v Speaker 1>I've got cancer in my family.

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<v Speaker 1>I may need that someday.

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<v Speaker 1>Suddenly it gives that push that if they don't move forward, it can have negative consequences to them.

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<v Speaker 1>They're not bulletproof.

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<v Speaker 2>What are some ways?

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<v Speaker 2>And if I'm not in that great position, I'm still in a not good position, but I need to make change, but I'm not making change.

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<v Speaker 2>What are some questions I can ask myself, or maybe even Terry, you can need to make change, but I'm not making change.

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<v Speaker 2>What are some questions I can ask myself, or maybe even Terry, you can ask me right now that help me?

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<v Speaker 2>I guess anchor it, make sure that I do recognize just how the situation needs me to shift.

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<v Speaker 1>What I do with people is I get them to write out their failure scenario.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the first thing we do actually.

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<v Speaker 1>The action plan, the daily action plan.

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<v Speaker 1>That's easy.

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<v Speaker 1>We all.

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<v Speaker 1>The first thing we do actually the action plan, the daily action plan.

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<v Speaker 1>That's easy.

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<v Speaker 1>We all know what we're supposed to do.

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<v Speaker 1>It's sticking to it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the problem.

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<v Speaker 1>Again, write out their failure scenario.

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<v Speaker 1>Now we could be talking business goals.

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<v Speaker 1>We could be talking marital goals, we could be talking health goals.

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<v Speaker 1>It's all a goal.

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<v Speaker 1>The oxcart works on all of them.

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<v Speaker 1>Again, write it right out there.

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<v Speaker 1>Failure scenario Oftentimes, while I'm doing this, if we're doing it right and I'll do this in large crowds, for companies as well there'll be tears.

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<v Speaker 1>If there's tears, that's the emotion that you want.

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<v Speaker 1>That will kick you in the butt.

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<v Speaker 1>It can't just be well, I'll you know my business will fail.

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<v Speaker 1>That doesn't do it.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got to create emotion.

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<v Speaker 1>Emotion, not fact, the driver of all action.

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<v Speaker 1>Create enough emotion.

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<v Speaker 1>The facts no longer matter.

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<v Speaker 1>So I get them to do that, write it out.

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<v Speaker 1>And when they feel that emotion, if they're going, there's no way in God's green earth I'm going to let that happen.

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<v Speaker 1>I will do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn't happen.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you're there, what does it take?

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<v Speaker 1>The bridge, the action plan.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you're there, what does it take?

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<v Speaker 1>The bridge, the action plan, this is what it takes.

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<v Speaker 1>So now it's like yeah, dang straight, I'll do it because I don't want that to happen.

00:13:26.135 --> 00:13:32.562
<v Speaker 1>And then your success scenario and because I took the daily actions, that's how amazing life's going to be.

00:13:32.722 --> 00:13:34.605
<v Speaker 2>Let's just go back into that failure thing.

00:13:34.605 --> 00:13:37.187
<v Speaker 2>Can failure actually teach success?

00:13:37.187 --> 00:13:41.130
<v Speaker 2>Because is there a?

00:13:41.150 --> 00:13:42.576
<v Speaker 1>relationship that you see between failure and success.

00:13:42.576 --> 00:13:49.456
<v Speaker 1>There is no better teacher in the world than failure to teach success, and I know you teach this too.

00:13:49.456 --> 00:13:50.099
<v Speaker 1>I'm quite certain.

00:13:50.099 --> 00:13:55.523
<v Speaker 1>If you are not failing, I can pretty much guarantee you you are not succeeding.

00:13:55.523 --> 00:13:58.599
<v Speaker 1>A lot of times they say well, what's the opposite of success?

00:13:58.599 --> 00:13:58.940
<v Speaker 1>Failure?

00:13:58.940 --> 00:14:04.293
<v Speaker 1>No, the opposite of success is not failing, because if you're not failing, you're not trying.

00:14:04.293 --> 00:14:12.740
<v Speaker 1>Every single person on the face of this earth and off of it who has ever succeeded at anything has failed and failed and failed.

00:14:12.740 --> 00:14:14.551
<v Speaker 1>So if you're failing, I want you to go.

00:14:14.551 --> 00:14:15.692
<v Speaker 1>Oh my God, maybe this isn't.

00:14:15.692 --> 00:14:19.219
<v Speaker 1>I'm not good enough, maybe this isn't for me, maybe God doesn't want it for me this way.

00:14:19.219 --> 00:14:20.721
<v Speaker 1>No, I want you to go.

00:14:20.721 --> 00:14:23.331
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, I'm on the right path.

00:14:23.331 --> 00:14:24.153
<v Speaker 1>I'm failing.

00:14:24.153 --> 00:14:25.738
<v Speaker 1>I must be on the right path.

00:14:25.738 --> 00:14:28.533
<v Speaker 1>It's a stepping stone, not a stumbling stone.

00:14:28.533 --> 00:14:30.277
<v Speaker 1>Keep rocking, yeah.

00:14:30.837 --> 00:14:31.740
<v Speaker 2>I love that feeling.

00:14:31.740 --> 00:14:32.763
<v Speaker 2>You know it's interesting.

00:14:32.763 --> 00:14:37.753
<v Speaker 2>Someone once said and I'd like to get your thoughts on this that the opposite of success is mediocrity.

00:14:37.753 --> 00:14:39.317
<v Speaker 2>It's not failure type thing thing.

00:14:39.317 --> 00:14:40.861
<v Speaker 2>What are your thoughts on that?

00:14:41.043 --> 00:14:44.792
<v Speaker 1>on that, uh, saying I think it's a fantastic saying.

00:14:44.792 --> 00:14:49.841
<v Speaker 1>I think it it makes us understand mediocrity is comfort.

00:14:49.841 --> 00:14:51.490
<v Speaker 1>We're in a comfort zone.

00:14:51.490 --> 00:14:55.078
<v Speaker 1>That's why we're being mediocre, because it's comfortable.

00:14:55.078 --> 00:15:01.899
<v Speaker 1>And I can tell you, you know, I've done um different adventures around the globe and some of the harshest climates, etc.

00:15:01.899 --> 00:15:02.881
<v Speaker 1>I like to do that kind of stuff.

00:15:02.881 --> 00:15:13.091
<v Speaker 1>I'm weird, um, but I can tell you, when you start getting cold, you start to shiver, right, and that's because your body's trying to take action to warm itself.

00:15:13.091 --> 00:15:25.796
<v Speaker 1>But at some point you stop shivering and you feel comfortable and you die, because the comfort zone is where people and dreams go to die and that's where mediocrity lives.

00:15:26.138 --> 00:15:26.679
<v Speaker 2>Dang.

00:15:26.679 --> 00:15:28.667
<v Speaker 2>That's a great way to put it All right, buddy.

00:15:28.667 --> 00:15:33.562
<v Speaker 2>So second principle when we take a look at that, the daily action plan, you call it the bridge.

00:15:33.562 --> 00:15:36.557
<v Speaker 2>Take me through your thinking how we do it.

00:15:36.557 --> 00:15:37.780
<v Speaker 2>Why is it important?

00:15:38.703 --> 00:15:39.525
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, absolutely.

00:15:39.525 --> 00:15:41.171
<v Speaker 1>The daily action plan.

00:15:41.171 --> 00:15:43.337
<v Speaker 1>Again, we know what to do, right.

00:15:43.337 --> 00:15:47.421
<v Speaker 1>We know that you can write out the daily actions easy, not a problem.

00:15:47.421 --> 00:15:48.855
<v Speaker 1>Sticking to it is a problem.

00:15:49.149 --> 00:15:53.020
<v Speaker 1>Here's the deal with having both your failure and your success scenarios written out.

00:15:53.020 --> 00:15:56.559
<v Speaker 1>Either one could be your future.

00:15:56.559 --> 00:16:00.870
<v Speaker 1>I mean you could fail at business, you could fail at marriage, you could fail at your health, you could fail at all these things.

00:16:00.870 --> 00:16:01.851
<v Speaker 1>That could be your future.

00:16:01.851 --> 00:16:06.456
<v Speaker 1>Or the success scenario can be your future.

00:16:06.777 --> 00:16:11.142
<v Speaker 1>It's like two different endings of a movie, except for in this case, it's your life.

00:16:11.142 --> 00:16:27.197
<v Speaker 1>It's like you've got, when you're reading this, you've got the world is falling apart in the movie and the superhero comes in and does what he or she needs to do and saves the world.

00:16:27.197 --> 00:16:29.466
<v Speaker 1>The bridge, the action plan, is the difference between which one of those futures will be yours.

00:16:29.466 --> 00:16:36.794
<v Speaker 1>And when you look at it that way, it's a lot easier to stick to the points on there, because you understand it's not just well, other things got in the way today.

00:16:36.794 --> 00:16:38.799
<v Speaker 1>I didn't have time or any other excuse.

00:16:38.799 --> 00:16:46.399
<v Speaker 1>You blow through, but rather, if I don't do this, this is going to happen and that'll keep you in the butt If I do this.

00:16:46.399 --> 00:16:48.010
<v Speaker 1>Wow, this is going to happen.

00:16:48.010 --> 00:16:49.092
<v Speaker 1>It's very powerful.

00:16:49.634 --> 00:16:56.134
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I still keep coming back to examples in my own mind of that negative scenario looming large.

00:16:56.134 --> 00:16:59.839
<v Speaker 2>I remember one of my guys who said, oh, I'm going to lose all this weight.

00:16:59.839 --> 00:17:00.820
<v Speaker 2>I said fantastic.

00:17:00.820 --> 00:17:04.364
<v Speaker 2>By when he told me a date, I said and what's the consequence if you don't?

00:17:04.364 --> 00:17:06.991
<v Speaker 2>He said, well, you know I don't.

00:17:06.991 --> 00:17:19.159
<v Speaker 2>I said well, fantastic, if you don't, you have to pay for me and you to go to dinner at a restaurant of my choice with the wine of my choice, and of course that was going to be thousands in England, so it was going to be thousands of pounds.

00:17:19.159 --> 00:17:22.182
<v Speaker 2>But he then sat down and developed that plan.

00:17:22.182 --> 00:17:27.189
<v Speaker 2>But something you said and something he did you mentioned that you have a coach.

00:17:27.189 --> 00:17:31.096
<v Speaker 2>Obviously, I have coaches and run a coaching business.

00:17:31.096 --> 00:17:33.842
<v Speaker 2>Why is that important, terry?

00:17:33.842 --> 00:17:37.777
<v Speaker 2>What is it about coaching that makes it a reality for people to do it?

00:17:38.819 --> 00:17:43.470
<v Speaker 1>For one thing, your coach is going to tell you things that your friends will not tell you.

00:17:43.470 --> 00:17:49.642
<v Speaker 1>You know your friends are going to be oh, they will just go.

00:17:49.642 --> 00:17:51.715
<v Speaker 1>Well, you know, I know you couldn't get that to that today.

00:17:51.715 --> 00:17:52.661
<v Speaker 1>Hey, look, you're busy.

00:17:52.661 --> 00:17:53.747
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you're, I get it.

00:17:53.747 --> 00:17:56.090
<v Speaker 1>You're big, you got a lot going on in your life right now.

00:17:56.090 --> 00:17:59.113
<v Speaker 1>A coach will not do that to you.

00:17:59.113 --> 00:18:01.154
<v Speaker 1>That's not with you, that is to you.

00:18:01.154 --> 00:18:02.375
<v Speaker 1>That is a negative.

00:18:02.375 --> 00:18:02.836
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

00:18:02.836 --> 00:18:04.936
<v Speaker 1>Again, it makes you comfortable.

00:18:04.936 --> 00:18:07.078
<v Speaker 1>You know what happens in the comfort zone.

00:18:07.078 --> 00:18:08.599
<v Speaker 1>People and dreams go to die.

00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:15.605
<v Speaker 1>So the coach is going to hold you to the fire and the coach will see things in a way, a different perspective that you don't.

00:18:15.605 --> 00:18:18.507
<v Speaker 1>And it helps with your accountability as well.

00:18:18.507 --> 00:18:20.367
<v Speaker 1>We all need accountability partners.

00:18:22.070 --> 00:18:22.792
<v Speaker 2>We all do.

00:18:22.792 --> 00:18:25.458
<v Speaker 2>Terry, this is a question I get asked all the time.

00:18:25.458 --> 00:18:27.843
<v Speaker 2>You're already massively successful.

00:18:27.843 --> 00:18:31.532
<v Speaker 2>Why do you need a coach?

00:18:31.532 --> 00:18:32.114
<v Speaker 2>Michael Jordan?

00:18:32.134 --> 00:18:32.554
<v Speaker 1>had a coach.

00:18:32.554 --> 00:18:33.715
<v Speaker 1>I know you've used this example.

00:18:33.715 --> 00:18:38.643
<v Speaker 1>You're quite certain of it, absolutely yeah, all the best anywhere have had a coach.

00:18:38.643 --> 00:18:40.786
<v Speaker 1>Because, again, here's the way I look at it.

00:18:40.786 --> 00:18:43.896
<v Speaker 1>Here's the way I explain to people I am doing.

00:18:43.896 --> 00:18:47.228
<v Speaker 1>I'm right here, man, I'm doing the best I can possibly do.

00:18:47.228 --> 00:18:47.829
<v Speaker 1>I'm rocking.

00:18:47.829 --> 00:18:48.451
<v Speaker 1>I'm right here.

00:18:48.451 --> 00:18:50.916
<v Speaker 1>This isn't where I want to be.

00:18:50.916 --> 00:18:52.800
<v Speaker 1>This is where I want to be.

00:18:52.800 --> 00:18:54.084
<v Speaker 1>What's the difference?

00:18:54.084 --> 00:18:57.852
<v Speaker 1>If this is where I've gotten myself to, I need outside influences to get me to that next level.

00:18:57.852 --> 00:19:02.994
<v Speaker 1>I need outside influences to get me to that next level, and that's where the coach comes in.

00:19:03.555 --> 00:19:03.855
<v Speaker 2>Got it.

00:19:03.855 --> 00:19:06.356
<v Speaker 2>So let's go into phase three.

00:19:06.356 --> 00:19:13.402
<v Speaker 2>Then We've failure scenarios identified, action plan is identified, especially the daily action plan.

00:19:13.402 --> 00:19:15.482
<v Speaker 2>Phase three the carrot.

00:19:15.482 --> 00:19:18.144
<v Speaker 2>Explain that one for us all so we know what to do.

00:19:19.305 --> 00:19:19.785
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely.

00:19:19.785 --> 00:19:27.730
<v Speaker 1>The carrot is writing down how amazing life from that perspective is going to be because you took those plans.

00:19:27.730 --> 00:19:31.073
<v Speaker 1>But again, it's got to be emotion.

00:19:31.073 --> 00:19:33.094
<v Speaker 1>It's got to be emotion, it can't just be.

00:19:33.094 --> 00:20:01.903
<v Speaker 1>I is going to have positive male and female role models that are going to make an impact on his or her life and I visualize a specific, I visualize a specific kid whose life is going to be changed and I attach that emotion to it.

00:20:01.903 --> 00:20:06.573
<v Speaker 1>So if I don't get up off my butt and do my action plan things, what's going to happen to Johnny?

00:20:06.573 --> 00:20:10.547
<v Speaker 1>The failure scenario, on the other hand, what's going to happen to Johnny?

00:20:10.547 --> 00:20:11.951
<v Speaker 1>Amazing things.

00:20:11.951 --> 00:20:14.626
<v Speaker 1>What will happen for your family, the things that are important to you.

00:20:14.626 --> 00:20:17.493
<v Speaker 1>If it's animals, how many animals can you save?

00:20:17.493 --> 00:20:23.434
<v Speaker 1>You know, give a good whatever's important to you, but it's got to be emotional.

00:20:23.434 --> 00:20:25.606
<v Speaker 1>The book, and of course, the coaching, teaches that.

00:20:26.028 --> 00:20:31.148
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, look, you know one of the things and actually you do it well in the book, but I'd like to ask you a bit about it here.

00:20:31.148 --> 00:20:39.528
<v Speaker 2>How do we go from fact-based, goal-based to emotional-based?

00:20:39.528 --> 00:20:44.258
<v Speaker 2>How do we do that and make sure we're doing that on all of our goals, I guess?

00:20:45.806 --> 00:20:46.426
<v Speaker 1>It's practice.

00:20:46.426 --> 00:20:47.730
<v Speaker 1>You know it's practice.

00:20:47.730 --> 00:20:50.037
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes that's where the coaching comes in.

00:20:50.037 --> 00:20:58.170
<v Speaker 1>And I do this for companies as well, you know, because you've got these people who are running the show and they just give a mission statement.

00:20:58.170 --> 00:21:00.965
<v Speaker 1>They want everybody to buy into that, not the way it works.

00:21:00.965 --> 00:21:12.051
<v Speaker 1>You got to find out what's important to those people and of course, the book has the checklists of exactly how to find out what's important to them and have them write out their own failure and success scenarios.

00:21:12.051 --> 00:21:20.107
<v Speaker 1>And it's through that practice and the examples in the book kind of help you understand how to do it that you reach that emotional level.

00:21:20.107 --> 00:21:26.519
<v Speaker 1>When you start feeling either pain or pleasure yourself, you're starting to get there.

00:21:26.519 --> 00:21:34.933
<v Speaker 1>When you've got tears of sorrow, tears of joy, it's going to drive you more than anything else yes, they're not crying, they're not buying.

00:21:34.953 --> 00:21:36.159
<v Speaker 2>That's a pretty simple one.

00:21:36.159 --> 00:21:37.565
<v Speaker 2>We gotta we gotta get emotion.

00:21:37.565 --> 00:21:39.372
<v Speaker 2>Well, hey there, and thanks for listening.

00:21:39.372 --> 00:21:44.511
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00:21:44.511 --> 00:21:51.796
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00:21:51.796 --> 00:21:53.923
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00:21:53.923 --> 00:21:55.087
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00:21:55.087 --> 00:21:56.593
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00:21:56.593 --> 00:22:02.632
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00:22:02.632 --> 00:22:04.496
<v Speaker 2>What is it then, terry?

00:22:04.496 --> 00:22:12.519
<v Speaker 2>Because, like even for me as a coach and me as a business leader, sometimes I shy away from pushing to emotion.

00:22:12.519 --> 00:22:20.208
<v Speaker 2>How do you convince someone that they do need to push that far to the emotion with their team and, I guess, with themselves?

00:22:21.410 --> 00:22:22.832
<v Speaker 1>Leadership is always by example.

00:22:22.832 --> 00:22:27.099
<v Speaker 1>Good or bad, leadership is always by example.

00:22:27.099 --> 00:22:30.414
<v Speaker 1>If you tell them to do it, they're not going to do it.

00:22:30.414 --> 00:22:45.236
<v Speaker 1>You know, one of the best leaders I've ever met in my life, colonel Stephen Harper, one of my squadron commanders, taught me if you light a fire underneath somebody, they'll stamp it out, the second you walk away, but if you light a fire inside of them, it'll burn forever.

00:22:45.236 --> 00:22:51.634
<v Speaker 1>It's got to be by example you doing it, you show them how you're doing it and how that's helping you.

00:22:51.634 --> 00:22:54.433
<v Speaker 1>And then you just start asking them questions.

00:22:54.433 --> 00:22:57.773
<v Speaker 1>And again the book tells you the questions to ask.

00:22:57.773 --> 00:22:59.872
<v Speaker 1>What happens if you don't succeed?

00:22:59.872 --> 00:23:02.153
<v Speaker 1>You can't put your own feelings onto them.

00:23:02.153 --> 00:23:06.073
<v Speaker 1>Your own success scenario, your own failure scenario, means nothing to them.

00:23:06.073 --> 00:23:12.355
<v Speaker 1>You've got to help them develop their own just by asking questions, and they'll do it on their own when you ask the right questions.

00:23:14.587 --> 00:23:14.847
<v Speaker 2>Got it.

00:23:14.847 --> 00:23:23.873
<v Speaker 2>So another book you wrote, which I skim, read it the other day about public speaking, because public speaking is really an emotional thing too.

00:23:23.873 --> 00:23:25.616
<v Speaker 2>What is it that?

00:23:25.616 --> 00:23:32.351
<v Speaker 2>I guess and you well, you're better at this than I am because you wrote the book on it what is it that gets someone over?

00:23:32.351 --> 00:23:37.267
<v Speaker 2>That speaking emotion, I guess, would probably be the nicest way to word it.

00:23:38.048 --> 00:23:41.056
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, absolutely Two things, and I love teaching this.

00:23:41.056 --> 00:23:41.758
<v Speaker 1>I love teaching this.

00:23:41.758 --> 00:23:42.666
<v Speaker 1>Number one.

00:23:42.666 --> 00:23:45.855
<v Speaker 1>The quick one to do here is it's not about you.

00:23:45.855 --> 00:23:49.686
<v Speaker 1>All too often we get up there and we're all scared because they're judging me.

00:23:49.686 --> 00:23:51.752
<v Speaker 1>I hope I don't screw up, I don't forget what I'm going to say.

00:23:51.752 --> 00:23:53.625
<v Speaker 1>I'm so worried I'm going to look like an idiot.

00:23:53.925 --> 00:23:56.189
<v Speaker 1>It's not about you, it's about your cause.

00:23:56.189 --> 00:23:58.151
<v Speaker 1>It's about what you're speaking about.

00:23:58.151 --> 00:24:04.596
<v Speaker 1>If I'm going up there and I do a lot of fundraising for scouting, go figure, it ain't about me when I get on that stage.

00:24:04.596 --> 00:24:09.521
<v Speaker 1>It's about these kids and I'm passionate about that cause.

00:24:09.521 --> 00:24:12.030
<v Speaker 1>It's being passionate about whatever you're speaking about.

00:24:12.030 --> 00:24:21.248
<v Speaker 1>So it's not about you, it's about your cause and anything you're speaking on should be a cause You're looking to get them to take action on.

00:24:21.248 --> 00:24:28.096
<v Speaker 1>The other one is I teach how to get into being the most powerful you have ever been in your life.

00:24:28.096 --> 00:24:32.288
<v Speaker 1>Right before you walk up on that stage, pick up that sales phone.

00:24:32.288 --> 00:24:34.555
<v Speaker 1>You know the thousand pound phone, whatever it might be.

00:24:34.555 --> 00:24:35.237
<v Speaker 1>I can.

00:24:35.237 --> 00:24:39.855
<v Speaker 1>I can get somebody over there for your public speaking in 15 minutes by doing that technique.

00:24:39.896 --> 00:24:40.405
<v Speaker 2>It's kind of fun.

00:24:40.405 --> 00:24:53.710
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, you know it's interesting because if I look at your body of work, it's really I mean, emotion is sort of the word that is central to pretty much everything that you're looking at.

00:24:53.710 --> 00:24:56.637
<v Speaker 2>How do you bring people to the emotion factor of it?

00:24:56.637 --> 00:24:59.047
<v Speaker 2>How do we do?

00:24:59.047 --> 00:25:12.278
<v Speaker 2>I guess the simple way I want to ask this question is how do we not go too far into emotion, like how do we not lose ourselves in the emotion and still maintain that we got to do things and that stuff?

00:25:12.278 --> 00:25:14.874
<v Speaker 2>I guess that's probably the simplest way to ask the question.

00:25:15.704 --> 00:25:16.931
<v Speaker 1>I think it's using it as a tool.

00:25:16.931 --> 00:25:20.713
<v Speaker 1>Emotion is a tool that you can wield.

00:25:20.713 --> 00:25:23.173
<v Speaker 1>It's a weapon you can wield, a tool you can use.

00:25:23.173 --> 00:25:27.210
<v Speaker 1>And it's looking at it like that man I'm looking at my failure scenario.

00:25:27.210 --> 00:25:28.311
<v Speaker 1>It hurts.

00:25:28.311 --> 00:25:37.256
<v Speaker 1>You read in my book, you read my failure scenario for my own marriage that I look at twice a day, every day.

00:25:37.256 --> 00:25:38.499
<v Speaker 1>It still hurts.

00:25:38.499 --> 00:25:43.756
<v Speaker 1>When I did the audio book I had to stop recording a few times because it hurt so bad.

00:25:43.756 --> 00:25:47.611
<v Speaker 1>And I look at that and go and that's what I'm going to use to drive me.

00:25:47.611 --> 00:25:53.390
<v Speaker 1>Whatever it is, emotion is a tool you can wield, not to let overcome you.

00:25:54.612 --> 00:25:56.296
<v Speaker 2>Terry, what do you think it is then?

00:25:56.296 --> 00:26:01.029
<v Speaker 2>That, because you're almost the antithesis of a motivational speaker.

00:26:01.029 --> 00:26:12.306
<v Speaker 2>In that way it's like you know, everyone gets out there and says you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, and Terry comes down and goes well, unless you face the reality of what's going to happen, if you don't do it, you ain't going to do anything.

00:26:12.306 --> 00:26:14.428
<v Speaker 2>How do you sit with that?

00:26:14.428 --> 00:26:16.550
<v Speaker 2>Because I love that about what you do.

00:26:17.732 --> 00:26:21.396
<v Speaker 1>Well, for one thing, it's kind of fun listening to an Aussie do a Southern accent.

00:26:21.396 --> 00:26:22.239
<v Speaker 1>I kind of like that.

00:26:22.239 --> 00:26:22.818
<v Speaker 1>It's pretty good.

00:26:28.845 --> 00:26:33.624
<v Speaker 1>Well, I married a Boston girl, so usually I get the Bostonian, massachusetts thing.

00:26:33.624 --> 00:26:46.911
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's actually kind of myself using the ox cart technique in that there's a couple of things that tick me off, and people not telling the truth or the whole truth is one of them.

00:26:46.911 --> 00:26:50.038
<v Speaker 1>And the truth is a lot of what's being taught out there doesn't work.

00:26:50.038 --> 00:26:52.872
<v Speaker 1>Again, 92% of the people who set a goal fail.

00:26:52.872 --> 00:26:57.787
<v Speaker 1>The famed Harvard goal study, where 100% of the people wrote down their goals, reached them.

00:26:57.787 --> 00:26:58.949
<v Speaker 1>It never happened.

00:26:58.949 --> 00:27:01.733
<v Speaker 1>Somebody made it up, but it's still being talked about.

00:27:01.733 --> 00:27:04.179
<v Speaker 1>So I like telling the truth.

00:27:04.904 --> 00:27:13.240
<v Speaker 1>And the truth is and again, true science, not pseudoscience, not a non-true application of science.

00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:21.659
<v Speaker 1>Prospect theory Nobel Prize, when applied to economics, teaches us we will do more to avoid pain than to go toward pleasure.

00:27:21.659 --> 00:27:28.355
<v Speaker 1>So let's use that to our own advantage and let's help our, our employees use it to their advantage.

00:27:28.355 --> 00:27:30.144
<v Speaker 1>Not us putting their failure scenario on them.

00:27:30.144 --> 00:27:31.410
<v Speaker 1>If you don't do this, you'll get fired.

00:27:31.410 --> 00:27:34.124
<v Speaker 1>No, sir, that's the lighting the fire underneath them.

00:27:34.124 --> 00:27:34.806
<v Speaker 1>That doesn't work.

00:27:34.806 --> 00:27:47.750
<v Speaker 1>But when we help them develop for themselves their own failure scenario, their own success scenario, man, it's amazing what can happen to an organization when all of the people are working at their best.

00:27:48.913 --> 00:27:49.595
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, love it.

00:27:49.595 --> 00:27:50.696
<v Speaker 2>So, terry.

00:27:50.696 --> 00:27:56.515
<v Speaker 2>Final question I want to ask is you've obviously got a great level of advice given to you over the years.

00:27:56.515 --> 00:28:04.949
<v Speaker 2>What's your greatest advice or even the greatest quote you've ever been taught on the subject of success, you know there's so many.

00:28:04.989 --> 00:28:12.232
<v Speaker 1>Of course, A lot of us hear a lot, but I like going a different direction with Aristotle the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

00:28:12.232 --> 00:28:14.412
<v Speaker 1>The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

00:28:14.412 --> 00:28:17.094
<v Speaker 1>In other words, you're not going to do anything on your own.

00:28:17.094 --> 00:28:27.410
<v Speaker 1>It's all about team, it's all about leadership, it's about elevating other people and through that you can elevate what's important to you as well.

00:28:27.410 --> 00:28:28.992
<v Speaker 1>So to me, it's about understanding.

00:28:28.992 --> 00:28:32.467
<v Speaker 1>Look, you're not that cool by yourself.

00:28:32.467 --> 00:28:35.337
<v Speaker 1>I didn't win that that survival reality show on my own.

00:28:35.337 --> 00:28:37.766
<v Speaker 1>I had a partner and other people helping me.

00:28:37.766 --> 00:28:43.886
<v Speaker 1>You're not that cool on your own, but together, building a team man, you can make amazing things happen.

00:28:44.106 --> 00:28:44.808
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, hey.

00:28:44.808 --> 00:28:46.913
<v Speaker 2>You threw in there about kicking and screaming.

00:28:46.913 --> 00:28:50.367
<v Speaker 2>Tell me what was the strategy to win that thing?

00:28:50.367 --> 00:28:52.739
<v Speaker 2>How did you get there other than having the team?

00:28:52.739 --> 00:28:54.265
<v Speaker 2>What was the strategy behind it?

00:28:54.265 --> 00:28:59.748
<v Speaker 2>I know my wife wants to go on Survivor so I'm like, all right, give me some strategy stuff, terry Pray.

00:29:02.534 --> 00:29:04.638
<v Speaker 1>Because I didn't want to be on any survival show.

00:29:04.638 --> 00:29:06.089
<v Speaker 1>I had no desire.

00:29:06.089 --> 00:29:14.795
<v Speaker 1>They reached out to me and not only was I the oldest person on the entire show, so I'm like it's really cute.

00:29:14.795 --> 00:29:17.374
<v Speaker 1>They've got the old guy on there, but he's going to die, you know.

00:29:17.374 --> 00:29:25.393
<v Speaker 1>But also they wanted me to wear my Scoutmaster uniform, representing all of Boy Scouts of America.

00:29:25.393 --> 00:29:26.715
<v Speaker 1>So again, it's really cute.

00:29:26.715 --> 00:29:27.404
<v Speaker 1>They got the Scoutmaster.

00:29:27.404 --> 00:29:30.691
<v Speaker 1>He looks so cute with his little neckerchief, but he's going to die, you know.

00:29:31.987 --> 00:29:36.971
<v Speaker 1>I had zero chance of winning and I joke about prayer, I'm not joking at all.

00:29:36.971 --> 00:29:40.654
<v Speaker 1>But also, when I found out I was going to be on the show, I worked my butt off.

00:29:40.654 --> 00:29:42.328
<v Speaker 1>I did the Ox cart man.

00:29:42.328 --> 00:29:43.192
<v Speaker 1>You know.

00:29:43.192 --> 00:29:46.240
<v Speaker 1>Success scenario I'm not going to win, please.

00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:48.385
<v Speaker 1>And I could win a quarter million dollars.

00:29:48.385 --> 00:29:50.531
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's nice, it's nice, Don't get me wrong.

00:29:50.531 --> 00:29:51.776
<v Speaker 1>A quarter million is nice, Cool.

00:29:51.776 --> 00:29:54.146
<v Speaker 1>But that's not going to be enough to drive me.

00:29:54.146 --> 00:29:58.573
<v Speaker 1>On the other hand, if I screw up, I'm going to make all the Boy Scouts of America look bad.

00:29:59.073 --> 00:30:00.154
<v Speaker 1>So I went down to the local gym.

00:30:00.154 --> 00:30:01.096
<v Speaker 1>I hired a trainer.

00:30:01.096 --> 00:30:05.080
<v Speaker 1>I said okay, you got a few weeks to get this fat old body into shape, Can you do it.

00:30:05.080 --> 00:30:07.814
<v Speaker 1>He basically looked me up and down and went can you?

00:30:07.814 --> 00:30:14.214
<v Speaker 1>And I mean I was in pain 24-7.

00:30:14.214 --> 00:30:19.924
<v Speaker 1>I flew into the Amazon jungle, got somebody to fly me and take me in and do survival in the Amazon jungle.

00:30:19.924 --> 00:30:23.211
<v Speaker 1>I pulled over 100 ticks off of me during that time.

00:30:23.211 --> 00:30:26.635
<v Speaker 1>I did terrible, terrible things to prepare.

00:30:26.635 --> 00:30:28.539
<v Speaker 1>That's a big way that I won.

00:30:28.539 --> 00:30:35.865
<v Speaker 1>I worked my butt off because I had the ox cart technique driving me to do things I wouldn't have done otherwise, Love it.

00:30:36.464 --> 00:30:38.053
<v Speaker 2>You're on the Big Success Podcast.

00:30:38.053 --> 00:30:44.592
<v Speaker 2>Hit the show notes, follow Terry, learn from him, study, read, do all you need to do and we'll be back next week with more of your success.

00:30:46.586 --> 00:30:52.238
<v Speaker 3>You've been listening to the Big Success Podcast with the number one business coach in the world, Brad Sugars.

00:30:52.238 --> 00:31:01.799
<v Speaker 3>To learn more about how to achieve business and personal success, as well as how to level up or listen to past episodes, visit wwwbradsugarscom.