Tina Parker on Embracing Purpose and Overcoming Barriers

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.

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<v Speaker 1>Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.

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<v Speaker 1>Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, hello, hello everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>So listen, I just got to say this.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, tina and I were just busting up for like five minutes before we went on here.

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<v Speaker 2>We literally had to recompose ourselves before we started.

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<v Speaker 2>I've missed you, my friend.

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<v Speaker 2>I've missed you too.

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<v Speaker 3>I said it feels like it's been months.

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<v Speaker 3>Because it has been months, it has been absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>It's good to be back together?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely so.

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<v Speaker 2>Tina Parker for you that have not seen her on the show before is the founder of Lead Outside the Lines.

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<v Speaker 2>She leads with passion, guiding purpose-driven leaders and forward impactful, soul-aligned success, which is just a beautiful thing.

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<v Speaker 2>And forward impactful, soul aligned success, which is just a beautiful thing.

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<v Speaker 2>She's a retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel with over 20 years of experience, former C-level executive.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what your list is just like you don't have to read all of it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>It's amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>Former C-level executive.

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<v Speaker 2>Transformational leadership expert.

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<v Speaker 2>She really helps individuals discover and align with their true purpose for lasting transformation, which is fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>And, of course, it's Tina Parker.

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<v Speaker 2>It's all heart-centered and science-backed.

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<v Speaker 2>So welcome back to the show, tina, my friend.

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<v Speaker 2>For people that don't know you yet, please tell them a little bit more about yourself.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure, sure.

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<v Speaker 3>So I spent 23 years in the Air Force seven active duty, the rest was reserve, and while I was a reservist, I worked for the Department of Homeland Security.

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<v Speaker 3>I was a director of communication for an international operations center.

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<v Speaker 3>I then switched over to Department of Defense and I was the chief experience officer for a DevSec ops team, worked with Air Force Innovation, catalyst, afwerx, and so really got to do some amazing things on my journey.

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<v Speaker 3>But what was the same for me every time?

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<v Speaker 3>It didn't matter what the rank at the time was, the title, the job, whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>I always approached my work with a sense of purpose right, and really wanting to dig into what is the purpose for all the folks on our team, everyone who's coming to the table to create the magic that was being created.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, because I really just felt like when we can show up in our purpose and we know that we're aligned and contributing in a way that matters to us, right, that fuels our soul.

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<v Speaker 3>Not only do you get more out of your people, like their discretionary effort, but you know they're enjoying what they're doing and they feel like they're a part of something bigger.

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<v Speaker 3>And so that has just been a thread throughout my entire career and about five years ago I got this harebrained idea to start a coaching company because I'm like this is what I've been doing my whole career.

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<v Speaker 3>I just this is my path Right, and I feel like we all have stepping stones along our pathway of life that lead us to where we are meant to be as human beings.

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<v Speaker 3>If we listen right to who are we authentically and what do we want to bring to the world, and then have the courage to take that leap and, just as you have done right, we've had the courage to go.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's see what happens here and create something.

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<v Speaker 3>So here we are.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for sharing that and I you know, I, I I was reading all this and Tina's also a elite certified neuroencoding specialist, just FYI.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we're together.

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<v Speaker 2>That's how we met.

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<v Speaker 2>So, Tina, in your journey from military service to transformation, have that.

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<v Speaker 2>See what happens when you try to read.

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<v Speaker 1>Transformational leadership.

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<v Speaker 2>How did discovering your true purpose really shape your path?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you knew it was there, but when did you realize this is what I really want to do?

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<v Speaker 2>I want to serve other people.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 3>It's interesting because I think for a lot of us, we have moments throughout our lives where we realize, and then sometimes we go, yeah, but I'm not ready or I don't know enough, or who's going to listen to me?

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<v Speaker 3>And like all the critical self-talk things that come up, right, really remember like, yes, this is what I want to do.

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<v Speaker 3>Is when I left active duty at age 30.

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<v Speaker 3>And after seven years, and I was like, okay, I know, this is what I want to do, and you take that leap of faith and you step out and sometimes life kind of throws you some things and you go, okay, am I really ready for this?

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't Right, but whatever happened, I went back into serving in the reserve and federal government and continued to serve in that way, and it was in about 2019 when I joined AFWERX, the Air Force Innovation Catalyst, and it was amazing because we were charged with doing things different.

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<v Speaker 3>Right?

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<v Speaker 3>The Air Force said look, what do we not know that we don't know?

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<v Speaker 3>Let's go out there and let's bring in garage tinkerers and small businesses and let's ask airmen what they think.

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<v Speaker 3>Novel concept, right, your new folks who are coming in.

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<v Speaker 3>And so we brought all of this together and really created something magical for people to contribute and bring their ideas to the forefront.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's when I really again started connecting to the.

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<v Speaker 3>The idea of my purpose here, and what I create wherever I go, is bringing people together and helping them align with what is truly in their heart and who they are and how they are in the world, so that they can shine Right.

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<v Speaker 3>And it radiates other.

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<v Speaker 3>It radiates to others, it magnetizes the right people that are aligned with you into your life, like this, like that's why we're here together, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>And so that's really what I wanted to help create the conditions for for others to be able to step in and do it.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>So, and thank goodness, right, I mean thank goodness you took the step, because for most people finding that purpose or even, I'll go, with fulfillment for themselves in their life, too many things get in the way and they don't take that leap, that little inch step, and if you fail, you learn from it, you pivot and you move forward.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>So I know let's just say for the podcast, right, tina?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean holy, wow.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I've never done this before.

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<v Speaker 2>I took that leap of faith.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, in the coaching programs and training programs that I do as well, just like you.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean we learned and we took from the best that we, what was around us, I think, and move forward right, because that's what, that's, what mistakes are is learning and moving forward in life.

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<v Speaker 3>So I mean, we neither one of us should be here.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, and that's exactly right.

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<v Speaker 3>And especially for military and veterans like we kind of can get conditioned with this whole notion of failure's not an option, right.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, when I did my TEDx talk about being selected to lead a team of 70 all-male drill sergeants at 28 years old, I was like what am I doing here?

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<v Speaker 3>This is insane.

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<v Speaker 3>Right that I came into it with that notion of like I cannot fail at this, and there was a lot of pressure, right.

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<v Speaker 3>But what I learned, though, throughout my career, and especially when I connected with AFWERX, is failure is learning.

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<v Speaker 3>Like you don't learn or grow if you're not failing, and if you're not failing at anything, it really means you're not putting yourself out there, You're not expanding into your full potential, right.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I think, for a lot of veterans especially, we kind of have this ingrained conditioning that I have to get it right, that I can't fail, I have to know all the steps before I take a step, right, and that's so backwards.

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<v Speaker 3>It is so backwards because we get the clarity when we take a step.

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<v Speaker 3>So when you have this idea and you're like, oh, I think I want to go do this, but I don't know how.

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<v Speaker 3>And you sit and paralyze yourself in this swirl of I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>Take that one step, just like you with the podcast.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, you're like, okay, we're going to start small, we're going to take a step, we're going to figure this out and look where you are now.

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<v Speaker 3>But had you not taken the step, you wouldn't know probably half the things that you know now about running a successful podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, and it's not just that people I've met.

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<v Speaker 2>When you start getting out there, you start talking to people and start making those connections.

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<v Speaker 2>The world opens up.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean the world, I do, yeah, all right, people don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>And when we walk around with this mask of like, oh, I have to be this way, nobody can connect to that and that your energy doesn't magnetize the aligned energy, because the universe is like okay, I know who you are, but you're showing up this way and this does not match.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, what am I supposed to do with this?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, when you're out of integrity, people feel it.

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<v Speaker 2>The energy is different and when you feel alignment with yourself, you draw the right people.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, you really do.

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<v Speaker 2>The magnetism just happens.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's talk a little bit about purpose, all right, or fulfillment, so what do you define purpose?

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<v Speaker 2>What do you look at when you say or when you're teaching somebody about purpose, so they understand what they're really looking for?

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<v Speaker 2>So I want the audience to kind of understand what to look for when you're trying to think about it, so you can get out of your own head, because it's very easy, for it's the human condition and especially veterans and first responders all of them.

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<v Speaker 2>They really get into the head and it's a human condition.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not just veterans, I promise you, I work with all kinds of people.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not just veterans.

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<v Speaker 2>They get in their head and they talk themselves out of things before they give themselves the opportunity to step forward and shine.

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<v Speaker 2>So talk to me about purpose.

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<v Speaker 2>What does that look like for the average person and veterans?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to say average person for people, because none of us are really average, are we Exactly?

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<v Speaker 2>It's about finding that.

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<v Speaker 2>So talk to me about that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, absolutely so.

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<v Speaker 3>The thing about purpose, and we tend to kind of go, okay, what am I good at?

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<v Speaker 3>I should stay in my lane.

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<v Speaker 3>The things that I've proven to myself that I can do, that's not it, right, we have skills that we're good at.

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<v Speaker 3>We have talents that we're naturally, we have a natural propensity to be good at, doesn't mean you don't have to develop it, right, but we have a natural propensity to that.

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<v Speaker 3>And then we have desires in our life, and I like to think of purpose as the intersection between all of these things.

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<v Speaker 3>And one of the ways that we get into it is like people all ask him like what, what do you, what do you want to create in the world?

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<v Speaker 3>Right?

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<v Speaker 3>And they'll give me an answer, and it's usually surface and that that's okay, that's the place to start.

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<v Speaker 3>And then you've probably all heard the five wise, right?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, why is that important?

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<v Speaker 3>Why is that important, right?

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<v Speaker 3>So you go five times asking yourself well, why is that important?

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<v Speaker 3>Why does that matter?

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<v Speaker 3>Why is that something that's on your heart on your heart, not your mind, right?

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<v Speaker 3>What is that on your heart?

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<v Speaker 3>And when you get to level five, go two more times, keep going Like the seventh level, that is when the core and you feel it.

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<v Speaker 3>You'll feel it in your core like in your gut, in your heart.

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<v Speaker 3>Your whole body will go oh, that's it Right.

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<v Speaker 3>It's the reason why.

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<v Speaker 3>Why do I get up in the morning, why do I show up to things that when I'm tired?

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<v Speaker 3>Or why do I show, why do I put in the effort to things that are really important to me?

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<v Speaker 3>That's where your purpose lies.

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<v Speaker 3>It's in that core.

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<v Speaker 3>So that seventh level, and, trust me, it is annoying as heck.

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<v Speaker 3>I love doing this with people because when I ask them like the fifth time, they're like I don't know, I already gave you an answer and it's like keep going.

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<v Speaker 3>And by the time they get to seven, they're crying.

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<v Speaker 3>They're literally crying.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's deep and you know it really is finding out.

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<v Speaker 2>What do you want?

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<v Speaker 2>What would you love even more so?

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<v Speaker 2>And that's what keeps you up late and gets you up early, right, with a smile on your damn face going yeah, I get to do this today.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's shaking your attitude right In our neuro encoding community.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, you should explain that, because some people haven't heard about that yet and you're out of context.

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<v Speaker 3>I know, I know so.

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<v Speaker 3>So, yeah, so we're in the neuro encoding Institute together, michael and I, and Dr Joseph McClendon.

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<v Speaker 3>The third is um, our instructor.

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<v Speaker 3>He's the founder of neuro encoding and it's one of the things he teaches.

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<v Speaker 3>If you've ever been to Tony Robbins, you've probably seen Joseph, you've heard him speak, cause he's been speaking on Tony stages for 30 years and he's one of his, his core speakers, um, but he has this thing it's called shake your attitude right.

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<v Speaker 3>When you move your body in a joyful, jovial way, shaking your hands like smiling, you're actually helping your physiology catch up right.

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<v Speaker 3>So you're teaching your body to feel jovial, to feel joyful, right, and that feeling will take, you will how.

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<v Speaker 3>What you think, so you feel, so you do, so you have.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, absolutely, and I'm just going to, you know, add on to that.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know, joseph's been on the show and he's going to be on again, but I that itself just when you hear aptitude again and we're going to get focused again here.

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<v Speaker 2>But let me just do this.

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<v Speaker 2>It makes you smile all by itself, right, and then, especially after you do it, because it releases all those good hormones in your body and your brain saying hey, I want more of it, and it's one of the key things that we teach as mirror coding, you know instructors, if you will.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's really just amazing and I'm glad you went through it.

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<v Speaker 2>So, thank you, thank you very much.

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<v Speaker 2>So, if you ever get a chance, check out Joseph McClendon, the third.

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<v Speaker 2>He's absolutely fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>So as far as that purpose, so okay, I went through the seven whys.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm crying.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel it.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel it in my bones.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel it, I feel it, and you're going to cry and smile at the same time most likely.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a good cry.

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<v Speaker 3>It's not the I don't want to do this cry.

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<v Speaker 3>It's the wow, I have finally connected to this level.

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<v Speaker 3>That lights me up, that's the cry.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, tina Parker.

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<v Speaker 2>What do I do with that?

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<v Speaker 2>Good question.

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<v Speaker 3>Good question.

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<v Speaker 3>Here's the magic when you get to that space where you are so physically, viscerally connected to this purpose, possibilities start opening up for you, right?

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<v Speaker 3>We get like, well, what am I supposed to do with this?

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<v Speaker 3>Now?

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<v Speaker 3>Sit with it.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what I'm going to tell you.

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<v Speaker 3>Sit with it, be in that energy.

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<v Speaker 3>That energy will radiate your brain, the way your brain works.

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<v Speaker 3>What you focus on is what you're going to get more of.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, where focus goes, energy flows.

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<v Speaker 3>So when you're sitting with that, you're feeling it in your body.

00:15:44.136 --> 00:15:48.299
<v Speaker 3>Your brain is going oh, oh, that's what we're looking for.

00:15:48.299 --> 00:15:56.285
<v Speaker 3>Oh well, dang, I wish you told me earlier I got you Right and it'll start finding opportunities and possibilities aligned.

00:15:56.285 --> 00:16:00.028
<v Speaker 3>Right, there's a part of your brain it's called the reticular activating system.

00:16:00.250 --> 00:16:05.216
<v Speaker 3>We won't get too deep and technical, because I'm a brain health trainer as well, with Dr Daniel Lehman.

00:16:05.216 --> 00:16:05.856
<v Speaker 3>I geek out about this stuff.

00:16:05.856 --> 00:16:08.682
<v Speaker 3>But I don't know.

00:16:08.682 --> 00:16:14.658
<v Speaker 3>But it's like if you ever bought a new car, right, and you're like, oh, this car is so unique.

00:16:14.658 --> 00:16:16.423
<v Speaker 3>I hardly ever see this car on the road.

00:16:16.423 --> 00:16:17.225
<v Speaker 3>It's going to be awesome.

00:16:17.225 --> 00:16:23.035
<v Speaker 3>You get in your car and literally when you drive home, you pass 10 others that look exactly like the car you just bought.

00:16:23.035 --> 00:16:30.168
<v Speaker 3>You thought there was nothing else on the road like it, but until it's in your awareness, you don't see what's around you.

00:16:30.168 --> 00:16:38.498
<v Speaker 3>Right, and so that's one of the biggest pieces about this work is we get ourselves stuck because we don't know the how.

00:16:38.498 --> 00:16:40.922
<v Speaker 3>But you don't need to know the how.

00:16:40.922 --> 00:16:56.047
<v Speaker 3>You need to be viscerally connected to what is most important to you, aligned with your authentic, courageous self, and you will start to see the possibilities and opportunities, aligned with that, when you're connected to it.

00:16:56.648 --> 00:16:57.048
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

00:16:57.048 --> 00:17:01.125
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to add, if I can, yes, two things.

00:17:01.125 --> 00:17:03.421
<v Speaker 2>You do have to take an action.

00:17:03.421 --> 00:17:04.625
<v Speaker 2>Oh, of course, sit with it.

00:17:04.625 --> 00:17:05.257
<v Speaker 2>It will come, absolutely agree with what you said.

00:17:05.257 --> 00:17:06.308
<v Speaker 2>But just you do have to take an action.

00:17:06.308 --> 00:17:08.821
<v Speaker 2>Oh, of course, sit with it, it will come, absolutely agree with what you said.

00:17:08.821 --> 00:17:11.263
<v Speaker 2>But just you do have to take an action.

00:17:11.263 --> 00:17:33.425
<v Speaker 2>So when I say that the second thing is a 2%, 2% change in what you're doing, 2%, that's getting up a couple minutes earlier to go write something down, to make notes, to strategize, to brainstorm with yourself or other people, any of those things, just to get started to take that action.

00:17:34.635 --> 00:17:44.270
<v Speaker 2>When you steer that ship, you get on the board and you have a destination and you don't really like the destination because, well, let's just use a hurricane, because that's what everybody's kind of dealing with right now.

00:17:44.270 --> 00:17:45.454
<v Speaker 2>There's a hurricane.

00:17:45.454 --> 00:17:46.578
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know what?

00:17:46.578 --> 00:17:52.901
<v Speaker 2>You steer the ship two centimeters, two millimeters, two inches to a different direction, two degrees.

00:17:52.901 --> 00:17:57.138
<v Speaker 2>You're not going to go to the hurricane, you're going to end up in a whole different destination.

00:17:57.138 --> 00:18:00.266
<v Speaker 2>My friends, Absolutely, absolutely.

00:18:00.286 --> 00:18:06.047
<v Speaker 3>I'm glad you brought up the action, because that is the next thing when you recognize the possibility and the opportunity.

00:18:06.047 --> 00:18:07.971
<v Speaker 3>Action, because that is the next thing.

00:18:07.971 --> 00:18:15.396
<v Speaker 3>When you recognize the possibility and the opportunity, you get to step into it.

00:18:15.396 --> 00:18:17.065
<v Speaker 3>Right, that is your honor and your privilege is to be able to step into it.

00:18:17.065 --> 00:18:21.421
<v Speaker 3>And something that I would love to share, because I'm also a woman-centered coach, right, and so I work with a lot of women.

00:18:21.441 --> 00:18:35.627
<v Speaker 3>In fact, we just did a dinner Wednesday night, a mastermind dinner with women, and a third of the women in the audience were veterans, right, and so it was really wonderful to have this conversation, because what holds us back is in here.

00:18:35.627 --> 00:18:52.926
<v Speaker 3>We think it's because I don't have this skill or I don't have that connection or whatever, but the resourcefulness is inside of us, it's not outside of us, and there are patterns that we get ourselves into and it just happens, right, this is no judgment about anybody.

00:18:52.926 --> 00:19:07.957
<v Speaker 3>Everybody gets into these patterns of I'm not good enough, I don't have what it takes, I have to do everything by myself, like, there's 21 patterns that show up consistently with the 70,000 women that the Institute of Women-Centered Coaching has coached.

00:19:07.957 --> 00:19:09.565
<v Speaker 3>They see it over and over.

00:19:09.565 --> 00:19:13.500
<v Speaker 3>So when you think you're by yourself and nobody will understand, not the case.

00:19:13.500 --> 00:19:23.863
<v Speaker 3>We all have these right, but it's in breaking those patterns that allows us to step in courageously and fully when we discover our purpose.

00:19:23.863 --> 00:19:25.265
<v Speaker 3>So both of them are important.

00:19:25.846 --> 00:19:26.707
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fantastic.

00:19:26.707 --> 00:19:34.077
<v Speaker 2>So when you, we're going to get more into the next step, obviously taking action, and you know from there.

00:19:34.077 --> 00:19:39.728
<v Speaker 2>So when you, how do you recognize the negative pattern?

00:19:39.728 --> 00:19:40.388
<v Speaker 2>Let's go there.

00:19:42.435 --> 00:19:54.215
<v Speaker 3>Yes, okay, there's a couple of things, and the nice thing about every single one of these patterns is we've mapped out a pathway to start to recognize when that particular pattern shows up to.

00:19:54.215 --> 00:20:02.803
<v Speaker 3>Then what are the skill sets, the mindsets and the capacities that everyone can develop in order to start breaking that pattern and move forward, right?

00:20:02.803 --> 00:20:23.981
<v Speaker 3>So one of the things I will say is, whenever you are thinking to yourself, I have this amazing idea, or have this really good, great feeling in my body that I want to go do this thing, but yeah, but okay, the yeah, but that is the killer of your dreams, it is the killer of your ideas, and people need you.

00:20:23.981 --> 00:20:26.086
<v Speaker 3>People need you to share your story.

00:20:26.086 --> 00:20:29.083
<v Speaker 3>They need you to bring your ideas out into the world.

00:20:29.083 --> 00:20:31.711
<v Speaker 3>It's how we grow as humanity, right.

00:20:31.711 --> 00:20:33.317
<v Speaker 3>It's how we connect as humanity.

00:20:33.778 --> 00:20:40.155
<v Speaker 3>When you go, yeah, but listen to me, yeah, but I don't have it as bad as they do, right?

00:20:40.155 --> 00:20:41.877
<v Speaker 3>These kinds of things that come up.

00:20:41.877 --> 00:20:43.160
<v Speaker 3>And when, the other thing.

00:20:43.160 --> 00:20:45.142
<v Speaker 3>So let me just pause there, cause I don't want to go too fast.

00:20:45.142 --> 00:20:47.546
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but is the first.

00:20:47.546 --> 00:20:56.040
<v Speaker 3>The second is when you go yeah, but I should be, I should be doing this, I should be further along.

00:20:56.040 --> 00:20:57.266
<v Speaker 3>I should be over here.

00:20:57.266 --> 00:21:01.659
<v Speaker 3>Okay, we I think we've said this before but stop shooting on yourself please.

00:21:01.659 --> 00:21:04.546
<v Speaker 3>It is not a good look for anybody.

00:21:05.067 --> 00:21:07.201
<v Speaker 2>Okay, can I tie this together just a little bit?

00:21:07.201 --> 00:21:10.964
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, don't be the butt shooting all of yourself.

00:21:10.964 --> 00:21:22.951
<v Speaker 2>Sorry, it just came to me and I just all right, you're not gonna forget that people.

00:21:23.375 --> 00:21:24.559
<v Speaker 3>I see bumper stickers.

00:21:24.641 --> 00:21:25.763
<v Speaker 2>I see bumper stickers.

00:21:25.763 --> 00:21:27.912
<v Speaker 2>I see bumper stickers.

00:21:28.295 --> 00:21:32.386
<v Speaker 3>That's a t-shirt and a bumper sticker right there, don't be the butt shitting all over yourself.

00:21:32.386 --> 00:21:35.156
<v Speaker 3>I love it.

00:21:35.156 --> 00:21:47.443
<v Speaker 3>I love it Because, basically, what you're saying to yourself is I am not where I need to be, I don't have what I need, I'm not the person.

00:21:47.443 --> 00:21:47.744
<v Speaker 3>To.

00:21:47.744 --> 00:21:49.407
<v Speaker 3>Well, I got news for you.

00:21:49.407 --> 00:22:00.361
<v Speaker 3>If it has come into your heart and it has come into your life and your mind, you are the person, or else you would not have the thought, the feeling, the notion that, hey, there's something bigger here for me.

00:22:02.836 --> 00:22:04.760
<v Speaker 2>And wouldn't you say that really it's you.

00:22:04.760 --> 00:22:14.976
<v Speaker 2>You know all the fears that that jump in the way that we start, you know, shitting all over ourselves or being the butt, oh sorry we're not gonna get away from that.

00:22:15.016 --> 00:22:17.801
<v Speaker 3>I think that's our thing moving forward.

00:22:18.523 --> 00:22:27.528
<v Speaker 2>Um, in fact it might be a new logo for the, for my company, um, but wouldn't you, wouldn't you say that it's the fear of rejection, the fear of failure?

00:22:27.528 --> 00:22:36.580
<v Speaker 2>You know, and you know the number one fear I I found pattern wise and, and I look for patterns, that's what I do is that fear of rejection?

00:22:36.580 --> 00:22:41.577
<v Speaker 2>I mean there's the, there you have procrastination, hesitation, fear, fear of rejection, fear of failure.

00:22:41.577 --> 00:22:50.810
<v Speaker 2>I mean you have all of those 10, the toxic 10, right, yep, but it's fear of rejection, I think, gets most people next to actually fear of success.

00:22:50.810 --> 00:22:51.919
<v Speaker 2>Is what I found.

00:22:51.919 --> 00:22:52.762
<v Speaker 2>How about you, keena?

00:22:53.576 --> 00:22:55.542
<v Speaker 3>Oh, for sure, For sure.

00:22:55.542 --> 00:23:01.767
<v Speaker 3>And when we talk about fear of rejection, it's like, okay, what do we perceive now?

00:23:01.866 --> 00:23:12.443
<v Speaker 3>And I want to be careful Like this is a perception, this is not reality peeps, it is, it's your thoughts, it's what you're creating in your reality, your thoughts, your reality.

00:23:12.443 --> 00:23:13.527
<v Speaker 3>Here we go, right.

00:23:13.527 --> 00:23:19.528
<v Speaker 3>So when you have this fear of rejection, that's not the problem.

00:23:19.528 --> 00:23:21.541
<v Speaker 3>Everybody's going to have fear, right?

00:23:21.541 --> 00:23:32.028
<v Speaker 3>My daughter I teach fixed mindset versus growth mindset, but she doesn't listen to me, so I put her in another course from somebody else saying she's your daughter.

00:23:32.028 --> 00:23:33.578
<v Speaker 3>Exactly, I got it.

00:23:33.578 --> 00:23:34.682
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to do it my way.

00:23:35.536 --> 00:23:35.977
<v Speaker 2>You got it.

00:23:35.977 --> 00:23:37.963
<v Speaker 2>You got to be in the place to want to hear it.

00:23:38.555 --> 00:23:41.865
<v Speaker 3>Yes, Well, and she hears it from someone else because I was just going to share.

00:23:41.865 --> 00:23:43.720
<v Speaker 3>She shared with me yesterday she's mom.

00:23:43.720 --> 00:23:45.704
<v Speaker 3>I learned something in this thing.

00:23:45.704 --> 00:24:06.835
<v Speaker 3>You put me in no-transcript, because fear is always going to be there, but I still get to be brave and I'm like hallelujah, thank you for listening to what they were telling you, right, because that's the key is, the fear will be there, right, but it's the things that we make up about.

00:24:07.236 --> 00:24:11.272
<v Speaker 3>The backend is if I'm, if I'm rejected, that's shameful.

00:24:11.272 --> 00:24:12.817
<v Speaker 3>It means somebody didn't want me.

00:24:12.817 --> 00:24:18.746
<v Speaker 3>Right now, people are making choices because of their own stuff, not because of you, right?

00:24:18.746 --> 00:24:22.934
<v Speaker 3>The other thing is if I'm rejected, I'll be alone, I'll be isolated.

00:24:22.934 --> 00:24:24.377
<v Speaker 3>People won't want to be.

00:24:24.377 --> 00:24:25.969
<v Speaker 3>It means they don't want to be around me.

00:24:25.969 --> 00:24:27.733
<v Speaker 3>It means I don't have what it takes.

00:24:27.733 --> 00:24:36.386
<v Speaker 3>No, it doesn't mean any of that, but we make up these meanings about these things and the fears that we have versus going.

00:24:36.386 --> 00:24:42.633
<v Speaker 3>Oh, that fear means that this is really important to me, like I have something to lose here.

00:24:42.633 --> 00:24:44.876
<v Speaker 3>So the fear is there, right.

00:24:44.876 --> 00:24:54.849
<v Speaker 3>The thing you really have to lose is yourself If you don't step in and do what you know is in your heart to do and is your path in your life.

00:24:54.849 --> 00:24:56.132
<v Speaker 3>You got one of them.

00:24:56.132 --> 00:24:57.013
<v Speaker 3>Step in.

00:24:58.196 --> 00:24:59.138
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fire the gun.

00:25:01.546 --> 00:25:05.753
<v Speaker 3>Exactly, we can aim forever, aim forever, fire the gun.

00:25:05.753 --> 00:25:08.746
<v Speaker 3>If you miss, you just get to readjust right.

00:25:08.746 --> 00:25:10.288
<v Speaker 3>That's the beauty of it.

00:25:10.789 --> 00:25:12.614
<v Speaker 2>Learn from it and adjust.

00:25:12.614 --> 00:25:14.617
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely Fantastic.

00:25:14.617 --> 00:25:15.648
<v Speaker 2>You know it's funny.

00:25:15.648 --> 00:25:16.153
<v Speaker 2>I go back Quick story.

00:25:16.153 --> 00:25:16.618
<v Speaker 2>I know we're's funny.

00:25:16.618 --> 00:25:17.244
<v Speaker 2>I go back quick story.

00:25:17.244 --> 00:25:19.834
<v Speaker 2>I know we're getting slow on time, but quick story.

00:25:19.834 --> 00:25:33.073
<v Speaker 2>I remember when I first joined the Neuron Coding Institute I was on a training with amazing being in calories and she talks about it a lot and it's literally stop aiming, just fire.

00:25:33.073 --> 00:25:37.571
<v Speaker 2>Learn from it Exactly and fire, because your aim is going to get better each time.

00:25:38.375 --> 00:25:38.595
<v Speaker 3>Yes.

00:25:39.045 --> 00:25:42.015
<v Speaker 2>And guaranteed at some point you're going to be hitting that target.

00:25:42.015 --> 00:25:47.593
<v Speaker 2>And then people are going to ask you how you did it, and that's how you create a ripple effect and it changes things.

00:25:48.355 --> 00:25:54.093
<v Speaker 2>Yes, and from that time I did that with with Venu and I was talking to her and Venu's a friend as well.

00:25:54.093 --> 00:25:59.125
<v Speaker 2>Written two books Company.

00:25:59.125 --> 00:26:02.028
<v Speaker 2>You know I mean podcast and it just goes on and on.

00:26:02.028 --> 00:26:15.602
<v Speaker 2>It's just who can you touch, who can you connect with and change even a two-millimeter shift for them to create that ripple effect and see what's changed down the road.

00:26:15.602 --> 00:26:24.955
<v Speaker 2>It's mind-blowing and puts you in such a grateful place because it's not about you, it's about serving other people.

00:26:24.955 --> 00:26:26.058
<v Speaker 2>You know that's.

00:26:26.058 --> 00:26:27.910
<v Speaker 2>That's what purple, for me, is about.

00:26:28.892 --> 00:26:30.596
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, absolutely.

00:26:30.596 --> 00:26:43.396
<v Speaker 3>And something, too, to just piggyback on, that is, if you had waited until you believed that you were the expert in all of these areas to do anything, we would not be sitting here right now.

00:26:43.396 --> 00:26:46.109
<v Speaker 3>None of this would be happening, right?

00:26:46.109 --> 00:26:53.817
<v Speaker 3>But we get this notion that, well, I have to be at the mountaintop before I can talk to the people who are standing down at the bottom looking up, going.

00:26:53.817 --> 00:26:54.425
<v Speaker 3>How do I get there?

00:26:54.425 --> 00:26:55.548
<v Speaker 3>No, you don't.

00:26:55.548 --> 00:27:02.826
<v Speaker 3>You just need to be one step ahead on your journey in a way that it connects with what they want to do and create in their life too.

00:27:02.826 --> 00:27:07.174
<v Speaker 3>And your story matters, right?

00:27:07.174 --> 00:27:08.116
<v Speaker 3>We can look at people.

00:27:08.116 --> 00:27:20.228
<v Speaker 3>We get into the comparison game all the time, like, well, I don't have it as bad as that person, so I'm not going to have it as bad as that person, so I'm not going to know.

00:27:20.228 --> 00:27:26.159
<v Speaker 3>Your story is your journey, and nobody has your journey and your story and your skillset and expertise in the right package that you have.

00:27:26.159 --> 00:27:29.570
<v Speaker 3>Love that, yeah absolutely true.

00:27:29.912 --> 00:27:34.148
<v Speaker 2>And you look back, you know there was a person that was in a training as well.

00:27:34.148 --> 00:27:41.817
<v Speaker 2>I was talking about this really quick and it's like you know they asked hey, how do you train CEOs if you've not been a CEO?

00:27:41.817 --> 00:27:44.673
<v Speaker 2>So here's something that was brought up.

00:27:44.673 --> 00:27:53.294
<v Speaker 2>It was what about if you see the gap those CEOs don't see because you're not a CEO yet and you have all that on the ground experience.

00:27:53.294 --> 00:28:19.750
<v Speaker 2>When I started the construction company, I learned from everybody else all those years and I look back now and it's like, wow, you know they're getting grateful If you can look, if you can see yourself through someone else's glasses or eyes what they see, that we sit there and try to protect ourselves, our brain naturally starts trying to protect yourselves and telling us all the shit's.

00:28:19.750 --> 00:28:20.612
<v Speaker 2>Just call it what it is, it is.

00:28:20.612 --> 00:28:24.338
<v Speaker 2>It is I mean tina parker, if I you.

00:28:24.338 --> 00:28:31.705
<v Speaker 2>You did this right when, when we talked a long time ago yeah remember, yeah, and I was just picking your brain.

00:28:31.786 --> 00:28:34.994
<v Speaker 2>I was like you know, I don't want to talk to tina parker, you know, looked up to you.

00:28:34.994 --> 00:28:41.939
<v Speaker 2>You know all those things still do, of course, my friend, but you saw some and all of those things.

00:28:41.939 --> 00:28:51.451
<v Speaker 2>If you someone else's glasses to see what they see in you, because your mind is playing tricks on you, my friend, yeah, absolutely.

00:28:51.853 --> 00:28:59.416
<v Speaker 3>I love that you brought that up because you and I were just having a conversation, right, and this happens in coaching conversations, right, some people are like why do I need a coach?

00:28:59.477 --> 00:29:02.090
<v Speaker 3>I had a coach in sports, but why do I need a coach and what I'm doing over here?

00:29:02.090 --> 00:29:10.134
<v Speaker 3>It's because that coach will help you to discover and uncover things that you can't see yet.

00:29:10.134 --> 00:29:20.634
<v Speaker 3>Right, possibilities beyond the horizon that you can currently see, because you're only going to see as far as you know, horizon that you can currently see because you're only going to see as far as you know.

00:29:20.634 --> 00:29:33.104
<v Speaker 3>And so, when we bring people together, even in the conversation with you and I right, the conversation was around like you serving veterans and what is it that they're looking for and you were connected to it and all I did was listen to what you were telling me.

00:29:33.104 --> 00:29:35.970
<v Speaker 3>I said it's an excited anticipation.

00:29:35.970 --> 00:29:41.871
<v Speaker 3>You get to help them connect, to be excited and anticipate what's coming next.

00:29:41.871 --> 00:29:52.517
<v Speaker 3>Right, you were saying it already, but when I said those words, you went wait a minute, oh and I totally still use those words to this day.

00:29:53.038 --> 00:29:59.317
<v Speaker 3>And that's perfect, right you would stay in your own head and I do it too.

00:29:59.317 --> 00:30:05.266
<v Speaker 3>If I'd stayed in my own head about things, I would be missing what's really possible and what the pathway is.

00:30:05.827 --> 00:30:14.449
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so yeah, and the crazy thing is, you know everybody's, I have to and I need to, you get to, man, you get to change.

00:30:14.449 --> 00:30:16.873
<v Speaker 2>Get rid of those other two words and put that one word in there.

00:30:16.873 --> 00:30:27.675
<v Speaker 2>It changes everything, and I and tina, I just want to say one last thing is I remember that conversation and you know what affected me is you being vulnerable and talking about your story.

00:30:27.675 --> 00:30:37.275
<v Speaker 2>That's what made the difference for me, my friend, and and that's literally what changed my direction, and I'm so grateful for it because it gave me so much clarity.

00:30:44.484 --> 00:30:44.746
<v Speaker 3>Thank you.

00:30:44.746 --> 00:30:45.288
<v Speaker 3>Oh, absolutely Thank you.

00:30:45.288 --> 00:30:53.152
<v Speaker 3>And that is what is possible when all of us feel comfortable enough in our own skin, we trust ourselves enough that, hey, even if somebody rejects me when I share my story, that's about them, not me.

00:30:53.152 --> 00:30:58.795
<v Speaker 3>And I get to be comfortable in sharing my story because it's mine, you know.

00:30:58.795 --> 00:31:07.193
<v Speaker 3>And had I not, had I've been like, well, I'm going to put on the Lieutenant Colonel hat, I'm going to make sure that I'm showing it, but no, nobody wants that.

00:31:07.193 --> 00:31:12.951
<v Speaker 3>People want you exactly as you are, absolutely.

00:31:14.554 --> 00:31:16.356
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, that's absolutely beautiful.

00:31:16.356 --> 00:31:18.579
<v Speaker 2>So we're totally past time.

00:31:18.724 --> 00:31:19.407
<v Speaker 3>Of course we are.

00:31:19.407 --> 00:31:19.729
<v Speaker 3>We always are.

00:31:21.684 --> 00:31:23.410
<v Speaker 2>Shocking, shocking.

00:31:23.410 --> 00:31:33.335
<v Speaker 2>So, tina, if you can give us three tips to get veterans and their families and first responders further faster, yes, absolutely Further, faster.

00:31:34.116 --> 00:31:38.567
<v Speaker 3>The first one I'm going to say, I'm going to reiterate get rid of yeah, but right.

00:31:38.567 --> 00:31:48.444
<v Speaker 3>Whatever it is that you want to create, it's in your heart and your mind for a reason, and you have been given this gift and this vision because you are the one to bring it forward.

00:31:48.444 --> 00:32:04.972
<v Speaker 3>So get rid of yeah, but trust yourself and always be connecting to your higher purpose, because you will start to see the possibilities and opportunities and the people aligned who can help you move forward faster.

00:32:06.626 --> 00:32:07.550
<v Speaker 2>Excellent, very good.

00:32:07.550 --> 00:32:10.994
<v Speaker 2>So, with that said, tina, how do people reach you?

00:32:12.125 --> 00:32:15.736
<v Speaker 3>Yes, you can go to my website, leadoutsidethelinescom.

00:32:15.736 --> 00:32:20.136
<v Speaker 3>We have a Visionary Women's Accelerator coming up.

00:32:20.136 --> 00:32:30.037
<v Speaker 3>It's just going to be so amazing a big mastermind opportunity with powerful women who are supporting each other, elevating each other and creating resources and possibilities for moving forward.

00:32:30.037 --> 00:32:32.051
<v Speaker 3>So go to the website, check it out.

00:32:32.051 --> 00:32:33.769
<v Speaker 3>I'm on LinkedIn, facebook.

00:32:33.769 --> 00:32:35.634
<v Speaker 3>Tina Parker would love to hear from you.

00:32:36.596 --> 00:32:37.218
<v Speaker 2>Excellent, excellent.

00:32:37.218 --> 00:32:38.892
<v Speaker 2>So, tina, thank you again.

00:32:38.892 --> 00:32:45.973
<v Speaker 2>You know again I say this every time because it's so true to my heart Time is the most precious resource we have as humans.

00:32:45.973 --> 00:32:46.868
<v Speaker 2>We don't get it back.

00:32:46.868 --> 00:32:52.848
<v Speaker 2>My friend, thank you for spending this time, thank you for spending all the times and just that amazing friendship that we have.

00:32:52.848 --> 00:32:54.269
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, thank you for all of it.

00:32:54.931 --> 00:33:00.696
<v Speaker 3>And thank you for everything you're doing, Michael, for the veteran community and anyone who listens to your podcast, because it's just gold.

00:33:01.557 --> 00:33:01.837
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

00:33:01.837 --> 00:33:02.558
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much.

00:33:02.558 --> 00:33:04.740
<v Speaker 2>I got chills and everything.

00:33:04.740 --> 00:33:12.509
<v Speaker 2>I appreciate that that means a lot.

00:33:12.509 --> 00:33:13.171
<v Speaker 2>All right, everybody.

00:33:15.477 --> 00:33:17.082
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for listening and we are out of here.

00:33:17.082 --> 00:33:22.292
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast, with your host, michael Cole.

00:33:22.292 --> 00:33:25.558
<v Speaker 1>We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.

00:33:25.558 --> 00:33:32.153
<v Speaker 1>To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.

00:33:32.153 --> 00:33:37.135
<v Speaker 1>Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.

00:33:37.135 --> 00:33:42.176
<v Speaker 1>Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.

00:33:42.176 --> 00:33:43.931
<v Speaker 1>Catch you on the next episode.