Mike Bayer - Transformational Life Coach, New York Times Best-Selling Author, Founder-CEO at CAST Centers and Podcast Host

 it is really confusing in our childhood years you know dictate how we operate in our later years
 whether it's in business whether it's having deep beliefs that get in the way of us
 thriving in our life and I couldn't get anyone on board and then I had a moment what if I became
 the vehicle like you're saying what if I became the currency somehow that's how Dr. Phil ended up
 in my life I would never have thought that's how I didn't want to be a speaker I thought I
 thought you know this is what we do often when we feel like we're not very good at something as we
 look at other people and we compare ourselves sometimes I was looking at speakers and I was like
 god they're so cheesy you Kanye fam yeah I think you need some help I might you become
 come to cook like now I don't do that anymore oh you would make an exception for Kanye
 now absolutely not you're listening to the radcast if it's radical we cover it
 here's your host Ryan Alfred hey guys what's up welcome to the latest edition of the radcast
 I hope everyone's out there is doing well we appreciate all of our audience and
 be ready to be transformed my friends we've got Mike Bayer on the show today two time
 New York Times best selling author transformational coach founder of cast centers what's up brother welcome
 to show hey man feel pretty rad today hey you got to you're on the radcast yeah so what's been going
 on Mike how are things going things are good you know it's always a matter of how we look at
 life day to day and how we practice different things that keep our head on straight and hopefully not
 let it roll down the hill you know and no kidding I've had a few celebrity of this you know
 celebrity life coaches and things like that had Tim's story on I don't know if your friends
 are no Tim very well but anyway the I know you've got an extensive background I want to get
 into that I want to talk about a couple of the books but maybe let's just start for you know you're
 on TV fair amount I know people probably familiar with the name and your likeness and all that but
 let's let's give everybody a little bit of your background and you know building to today man
 sure yeah and it's um I kind of avoided for and I still avoid the title of a you know celebrity
 life coach um life coach I've been trying to call myself everything under the sun and then when
 you try too hard you end up with these titles that don't even make sense anyways but we'll get
 into that but I grew up in Orange County California I'm the youngest of three um you know grew up in
 a family where basketball was a big sport I'm six foot five today and I'm the shortest male in
 the family and so uh was very driven towards basketball I never did well in school I got
 held back twice uh kindergarten which I don't recall thinking I was dumb when I got held back
 but in eighth grade I got held back and they said it was for sports uh but I didn't do well in
 school and I went to this high school called modern day high school which is a big powerhouse
 football and basketball school and I had dreams that I was gonna play you know college basketball and
 I don't know one day get married and I guess I have kids and go to Disney World in Orlando and then
 maybe take that dream yeah I take that trip to Hawaii once a year but the problem for me was
 I couldn't get turned on by girls and I didn't know why and I thought well I haven't hit puberty yet
 so once I hit puberty I was like okay cool like I'm growing hair on my arm I remember like when
 we first grow our first hair on our chest or face we're like yeah man I'm becoming a man um but for
 me I for whatever reason just wasn't that into women and I thought that eventually as we get older
 we suddenly get really attracted to the opposite sex but I found that I was like not into it so I
 kept trying to force myself to hook up with women who were very attractive and it just didn't feel
 good and I didn't even know what being gay was or anything like that I literally knew of the
 village people and the TV show or at the time there was RuPaul and I was both of those two
 existences I wasn't that bonded with and so I just thought I was weird I thought I was very
 weird and you know so I overcompensated with you know going with the homecoming queen to the high
 school dance and uh captain of the basketball team and vice president of the school and then when
 I wasn't doing that I was doing drugs and I was doing a lot of drugs and I loved drugs and I don't
 necessarily think because I hated myself for being gay is why I did drugs I just loved getting high
 and I started doing that at a young age and so I would go straight from you know
 playing in a basketball game to go into a rave and eventually I went to play college basketball
 at Fordham in the Bronx and I went back in the closet like I graduated from high school I had a
 fake girlfriend who basically I would have her name was Heather and back then my space started to
 develop and Heather ended up meeting a guy on our football team and suddenly Heather he's like hey
 I thought Mike was your boyfriend and she's like no Mike's gay and so I was out of then I went to
 New York I did not go out and play basketball because I felt like I wanted to be free and
 I did not do well in school and I eventually found myself for several several years doing crystal
 math stay up for a week at a time found myself about 90 pounds less than I am now picking up my skin
 believing I was possessed by the devil and I kind of had these moments of desperation and I thought oh
 I'm a lot of people do this like we all know people like this that are like I'm getting sober that's
 the last time I'm gonna drink like that and then you see them a month later and they're like no
 I'm just doing wine I'm not doing the hard stuff or I'm just I just quit out weed or whatever it is
 and so I didn't know how to stop and eventually at 22 years old I went to treatment for the final
 and last time and I've been sober over 19 years and I started working in this profession of mental
 health I've owned a treatment center for over 15 years and it went from me working in crises
 with addicts and alcoholics to eventually coaching and helping artists and entertainers and it's
 just it keeps unfolding and I know it's a really long short version but that's kind of one
 story it is fun and I mean a lot to impact there uh do you think you know I have friends that are gay
 and like I'm not but I I can relate to just discomfort in my life and uncomfortability and I
 can only imagine the the times a thousand whatever that might be I mean was it it sounds like you
 had a different experience than some people I've heard like like you thought the switch was just
 gonna come on it didn't sound like you were necessarily running from something you were aware of
 as much as you just thought okay I'm gonna eventually be like everybody else yeah like I thought
 this is like part of the progression of like growing up that's interesting I've never heard it I
 mean it makes a hundred percent sense because it seems like everyone whether it I assume it's their
 journey and their truth it's like they just I don't know they say they well I was like why the
 hell my gay yeah like like if I don't want to be can I just like and the girls were so attractive
 that I got together with but it would be like you making out with an attractive dude you probably
 would hate it yeah I I wouldn't enjoy but you know what I'm smart enough and open-minded enough to
 know like the reverse of that and knowing that how you would you you know what I mean that you
 must have felt you know how awkward or like okay like I'm not like again I'm a very open-minded
 person but I'm like wow that would be so terrible for wow I now I can relate to what you
 have you know it's like but unfortunately we've grown up in a world that's just starting to wrap
 their head around you know being open-minded to how other people are in some ways we're getting
 better in some ways we're getting worse right yeah and you know I'm different in the way too we're
 like I could be friends with someone whose anti-game marriage yeah like I I just think like opinions
 are like noses we all have them right and it's just being gay is like one description of me in terms
 of 10,000 descriptions that we all have it's just that was a very painful
 awful part of my life and I share that just because I it's just the part of my story you know
 it's it's um but I'm friends with all sorts as I was telling you before the pocket all sorts of
 different types of people and um but it is it is really confusing in our childhood years you
 know dictate how we operate in our later years whether it's in business whether it's having
 deep beliefs that get in the way of us thriving in our life unless we really go back and look at
 kind of what happened and connect some dots we end up just creating that same fabric but with
 different characters as we get older yeah do you think that you're obviously starting the
 the cast centers and the treatment centers and I mean was that it had to been fueled by your own
 experiences right I mean you yeah so I I for sure like I got sober I was a counselor then I
 did interventions for many years and then I wanted to create a place where in in the psychiatric
 or psychological world there's something called the Dia I think it's a DSM 5 now and everything
 is a diagnoses well a big reason why there's diagnoses is two part one is so that people can have
 a roadmap potentially so if you're labeled as let's say chemically dependent uh that they can
 look at the different criteria and go you are a drug addict or you're an alcoholic and the same
 thing applies for so many different types of issues anxiety disorders personality disorders
 and so forth the other is so that insurance uh you fill out on the forum and you say this is
 their diagnosis so that insurance will pay because if there's no diagnoses insurance won't pay
 for it and so what I've kind of realized was we were getting dictated by the insurance world
 they were dictating like length of stay and how people could get help so I wanted to create a program
 that helped people with everything from depression anxiety addiction or they could all be on their
 own islands and so that's kind of what my vision was when I got sober um because the place I went
 you just basically were like yes I'm a drug addict and my life has become unmanageable but like
 all the other underlying issues were kind of just we're gonna deal with that later and
 years later I just had to go to years of therapy so you're trying to treat the whole problem
 and not just the under or the top line not no one's addressing the underlying it's just the top
 line yeah and people suffer a lot and family spend a lot of money trying to figure out like
 how to help someone and it's tough is it you know I don't want to talk more about the positive
 stuff that you're doing now but I think it's important because I've always been curious like
 for addiction like that like someone's a date with alcohol or crystal math or whatever it is
 like is it just an all or nothing thing like is that why like you truly have to be I'm I don't
 know if you do even drink I haven't no so but it's just had a trigger like is that the problem is
 like there's just no it's all or nothing no I think I also don't like cauliflower
 and I haven't had cauliflower in a long time now cauliflower is not gonna leave me to
 potentially a situation that is very dangerous you might take you might eat broccoli with it yeah
 right green beans are coming next right people are like you haven't had that flash fried cauliflower
 I'm like that thing looks like a funky ass root and you know that I'm not I don't want to eat it
 that tastes good I have no flavor yeah I don't care all you cauliflower lovers out there you know
 but anyways the what for me like recovery is a loose garment and everyone has to find their fit
 and I'm very much a believer in people figuring out authentically for themselves what makes sense
 some people they went through a tough period other people it's like they got that personality
 where it's all or nothing for me it's just not worth it like like having a glass or low like the
 reality is to me even though I'm an addict now called I never really love the taste of alcohol
 like I am always amazed that people are like oh it tastes so good when they swirl around their
 wine I'm like it's a little bitter they kind of like I guess it looks fabulous but it's just some
 fabulous way to say you're getting effed up kind of like or buzzed but I know people who do
 really love it I love wine yes I'm a wine kind of like not kind of sewer but you know I have
 probably 700 bottles in my house well and probably for you there's a whole ritual to the bottle
 right yes yes it's like you probably have certain glasses you're not drinking out of the red cups
 with that one bottle yeah unless I'm at a till gate but I'm not a snob but when I'm at home I'm
 drinking out of my favorite glass yes right you have your favorite glass and you probably have a
 spa where you want to enjoy it and an activity right like it's a thing it's a ritual and I think that
 for a lot of people it can be a phase but the challenge is a lot of people think it's a phase
 and then they completely lose it and so I think it's really understanding for oneself what
 is that line and you know they say and Sandy is doing the same thing over and over again expecting
 different results and a lot of people who should not be drinking at all keep doing it over and over
 again the typical alcoholic like I'll use these labels doesn't get sober for about 25 years
 so by the time they start drinking till about 25 maybe 30 years later they don't really reach
 that point where they have to do much because maybe of health issues you know consequences
 now some end up in trouble a lot sooner but when you do some of these other drugs like I'm
 grateful I did crystal meth because if I drink it would have taken a long time to get sober with
 meth you're such a disaster that I'm like oh god it got me sober at 22 you know
 yeah went downhill down no quick you so it's snowball building it's like a anvil dropping off
 the the mountain exactly I love it well let's talk about you know what what you've been doing I
 know I'm not the celebrity horror or anything but I do think it's interesting that it's just
 led you there I mean what you did all of this it had nothing to do with who or why you did it for
 it was more the greater good your you know your influence you've gone through it you want to help
 others you want to treat the whole problem not part of the problem but what what got you into
 call it the celebrity circuit entertainment circuit yeah well I you know the first
 few entertain you living in LA you're just bound to work with different entertainers and I think
 the first kind of big family I worked with was the Osborne this is like over 10 years ago I did
 Kelly Osborne's intervention I went on our podcast that's why I can talk so freely whereas a
 lot of people I can't and you know I worked with that family and that was kind of my first taste
 and I was young and then what would happen is I started working with different
 people who are in crises like bad crises they wouldn't go on stage on a tour and the
 consequence for them personally was huge financially if they did not deliver and perform and
 so I would go out and people through word of mouth would start saying oh you got to call Mike
 Bear and then over time it went from like working with crises to working with bands that were
 breaking up or kind of reinventing and then after that it kind of went towards people who had public
 breakups and then it started getting into record labels calling me to help figure out how to
 help someone live in their art like what mattered how would their brand be put out in the world
 that was authentic how do they express themselves how do they express themselves creatively on a
 music tour and it just is like evolved I'm one of those guys that like I love new passions
 in self-help after I feel like I've kind of reached my own measure of mastery in a certain arena
 so I haven't you know I don't personally work I wouldn't be the guy today that's you're going to
 get a if I got a call for someone who need to get sober in the middle of music tour I don't want
 to I'm not flying out anymore I did that for years I'm much more geared now these days you know I
 so I had no intention of ever doing television and I met Dr. Phil three years ago and he asked me
 at a lunch if I wanted to go on an episode and I never realized that I would have the
 ability to help more people by going on a big platform I always was kind of like well why would
 someone want to go on television even though I worked with these people like I understood it for
 music I understood it for actors but I kind of just didn't want to be seen and I I didn't want
 to speak at events I didn't want attention and then he asked me to go on his show and then fast
 forward you know I've been on maybe 40 or 50 episodes you know he's like you need to write a book
 and then suddenly he flew with me to Dallas and he's like this is your agent and you need to deliver
 in four months like he's been my mentor and that was never on my vision board or in my like thinking
 of like oh this is that next phase but I feel like when you keep doing great stuff and you're really
 passionate about what you do the bet even better circumstances come into the mix when you're not
 trying to control it or force it and that's just been my experience it's like you know help someone
 as much as I can out of that just comes other opportunity hey you know you want to fix yourself you
 fix others firmly believe that you know well I mean it's true I mean you get to fix yourself to
 some degree first but but yeah it's a golden rule treat others you have them treat you but
 you know I say I hear you say that you know like it's funny I I preach attention is courtesy
 you know like like with brands and I preach attention is currency like that I have like a t-shirt
 that's literally like you know not because I'm I want attention but with attention becomes
 comes power because you have awareness and more people and if you're wanting to do good and you do
 good in life and you're leading a life like you're living and helping others it can be amplified by
 that attention and it sounds like you started to embrace that yeah you know and and how this all
 came about is I started going to Iraq because I was going to open up mental health clinics with
 the government over there in Kurdistan and I went out there alone the last time and I thought that I
 would get all these like entertainers and celebrities to like rally behind me to do a really great
 cause and open up like the first ever mental health therapy center in a refugee camp in Dohuk
 and I came back and I couldn't get anyone on board the publicists were not into it because
 Americans don't care about Kurdistan for you know like if it's a fireman sure please or some
 other things in the US but like they don't realize what like and what goes on out there is like
 horrifying like horrifying what I saw out there you know women whose husbands were lined up and just
 massacred in front of them and daughters and off to Syria sex slaves sons forced to join ISIS
 and it's real and there's millions of them and it's the craziest thing and there's no therapy
 and in that culture you don't talk about it so like this is my calling I'm done working with these
 entertainers I'm gonna go do this in Kurdistan then I went out there I was funding it myself
 and starting to launch it and I couldn't get anyone on board and then I had a moment in this
 about three and a half years ago I was like well what if I became the vehicle like you're saying
 what if I became the currency what if and that's somehow that's how Dr. Phil ended up in my life I
 would never have thought that's how but you know he's the number one daytime television show
 and he's taking me under his wing and my reach is so much bigger where I'm hoping that I'm able to
 do some really cool projects and it doesn't have to be in Kurdistan but it kind of forced me to
 realize like no Mike you gotta if you want to do this stuff that you're really passionate about
 you have to have a little bit of currency like you say yep and you know and every out growth is
 always starts with discomfort you know yeah and you're right and you're you didn't want the attention
 you didn't want all of that you wanted to do good you wanted to do all that but then you said okay
 tension brings opportunity brings more growth what growth has come out discomfort for you
 me personally I mean I've started two businesses the first one was fairly a colossal failure you know
 I uh and you know like both were in both are it's not comfortable being an entrepreneur you know and
 but the second one's been a bigger hit you know the first one didn't even hit the charts
 fizzled fast and then uh here uh you know my agency radical uh we're we're one of the fastest
 growing digital agencies in the southeast so we're three years old so it's been uh but it was
 it's been uncomfortable pushing you know to grow and to make decisions and do everything that
 takes to be an entrepreneur so what's the biggest realization you've had about yourself in this um
 probably that I had what it takes to do it you have a lot of I mean I'm a confident guy but you
 have self-doubt you know when you start something like this and I had grand ambitions and you
 know we're just getting started we got a lot of uh green pasture ahead and but you know you just
 after the first kind of failure you're like can I really do this do I have what it takes to lead
 people to you know I know how to sell you know like I know how to do marketing I've done it for
 20 years for some of the largest brands in the world but starting your own company and everything
 that takes to do that logistically you know it's taking time and it's tough you know I still
 struggle with you know I've a psychologist working for me and a team you know a bunch of people and
 even yesterday you know like it I start beating myself up that like I'm not being a good enough
 boss you know I'm not or I'm avoiding conversations that are tough or I'm projecting my own stuff on
 other people and like it's uncomfortable because you can feel really alone in it you know you can
 talk to the people work with you but that's really doesn't not appropriate and um and that's why I
 you know I I have a call with someone on Sundays who's a friend of mine where we just check in
 every Sunday about life and and what what's going on in our brains because sometimes we think
 as a leader we have to do figure it out or have all the answers yeah and we don't know what we're
 doing it's all good too though you know that's right no I can relate I uh I don't have people look
 to me you know we have about 20 people you know about 10 to 12 here in this office and then
 Tom spread around the country around the world even we're pretty fairly international as far as
 our help and some of our clients and but you know I mean you're the boss so you have all the answers
 right well yeah I mean I I'm opinionated but you know I don't have all the answers yeah it's
 it's nonstop you know I found even with public speaking uh I didn't want to be a speaker I thought
 I thought you know this is what we do often when we feel like we're not very good at something as
 we look at other people and we compare ourselves and it's not that we compare ourselves necessarily
 and go god they're so good sometimes I was looking at speakers and I was like god they're so cheesy
 you know like I don't I don't want what they have I just don't want what I have you know what I mean
 and it's like but that's a way of trying to diminish ourselves or not feel like we're good enough
 and then suddenly you start speaking enough and then you're like well I actually kind of do like it
 because we were afraid when we think we're not good at something we shut down and the reality is
 like sometimes like you're saying the discomfort is when we grow and that that's really that
 resonates with me because I it's a good reminder of uh well I tell people like if it's not hurting
 a little bit you're not going anywhere great like you know it's kind of like a trip but like
 if I was in a given car you're in LA I'm in Greenville South Carolina if I was going to come there
 and I didn't have a plane or something like you would have to wear a mask mask and wear a mask
 at the border they'd stop me and put a mask on uh but uh you know I'd have to drive all the way
 there a long way to go but you know what do you the value that you gain from the you know all of
 that because I know how much you teach me we get together in your beautiful studio and you know
 have a wonderful experience but I take me you know three days to get there in a car you know
 it takes time and I say they were building brand and building companies like
 everybody wants everything yesterday you know we live in such a
 immediate you know immediate gratification uh world yeah and I think the the scariest thing for
 an entrepreneur is if they don't reflect and look at themselves um and and you know because I do
 think some people just aren't cut it to go lead like they're not because they don't have self
 awareness but at the same time I think that you're right like part of the growth and part of the
 the the pain of it all even if it's a little bit as is expected let's talk about your books
 I mean how's that been I mean it you know right I mean writing I mean that's
 different talking and all that like was that how was that journey for you painful
 it's hard to write very difficult especially when you have learning disabilities and dyslexia
 and and you've also never had a vision for it you know like and the thing is I got a really
 big advance um for my first book which is pretty rare you know I that's rare these days
 yeah it's already in um 18 languages and made New York Times a bunch of times when I first book
 and it's it's uh it's also because of the platform I mean it's very hard what I think a lot of
 people don't realize when they write a book is I want to say something like it's like over 95
 is a 95% of books never sell more than a few thousand in its lifetime and sometimes people don't
 realize how challenging it is to have there's so many moving parts and pieces it's not just about
 writing an exceptional book it's also about your distribution it's also about like who's on your
 team how are you gonna pre-sale it social media there's so many factors but the process of writing
 the book you know the first book um I'm glad I have a body of work where I can help someone for
 $17 and it's the same thing I was doing with people that were paying me tens of thousands of
 dollars the the if someone's driven to work on themselves it is the work of my past you know 18
 years that I was able to put into my first book which was called best self and in that book
 it's really geared around helping someone realize who they authentically are and a lot of my stuff
 creative exercises so in that book you're really about finding out who your best self is like my
 best best self is a wizard there's like a wizard behind me some wizard on my arm you know like
 that's who I bring into the mix when I really want to be authentic and we also people figure out
 their anti-self and what area needs to be worked on today and it it was really um I don't I
 I should say I'm beyond grateful to write books uh I have written two books now and the others
 called one decision that's the most recent books it's all about how one decision can change your
 life and helping you sort today what is that one decision and what you need to do um you know I
 I but I I'm I'm also like writing a script um with uh showrunners this show Silicon Valley
 they did King of the Hill uh that's a comedy uh that's kind of in the mental health space I'm
 I'm trying to create I'm always I love creating I think that the book process it's a it's a it's a
 grueling process it is a have you written the book I'm writing one oh you are where you're at in it uh
 chapter two like you have a dude do you have like a team helping you no
 I and yeah I'm going to take one on like but I'm I'm trying to write enough to then get help with it
 maybe I don't know if that's the right approach but I don't know well I find it's really helpful
 to kind of start off my process um in especially if it's your first book is start off with the chapters
 and kind of like the the first like you said the first chapter uh the publishers are wanting a
 lot of the work to be done um and and it's really the you know there's like five big publishers I
 mean I what is your motivation for writing a book um it's marketing I mean I've been marketing
 advertising for 20 years and I've seen you know everybody's a YouTube expert now but uh it's
 you know my experience with the brands that I've worked with and then my own theories
 on marketing branding and all of that so I've got a couple working titles ones uh forever date
 and another one's uh lifetime value but it's uh it's the goal of the book is to help people
 understand how to market better yes um in a world where uh it we're now being dominated by
 performance marketing people that are trying to make us a book today um in the value of building
 brand and how to do that properly so a few other anecdotes but uh and it's in the the other
 type of work titles like you've probably heard of lifetime value like for if you've ever heard it
 that's a common term for in marketing for like you want a customer stay with you for a long time
 because that's and people they calculate that lifetime value of a customer like an easy way to do
 is like if you're a cell phone company and you paid and Ryan offers been with Verizon for 18 years
 and the lifetime value that I am they can add that up right and they can estimate what a lifetime
 is and the working title is lifetime I've got value uh with a strike through lifetime loss
 which is what you look what the other side of that coin of not taking care of your customer but
 more the depth of that because they tell 10 other people right and the exponential impact of not
 taking care of customers combined with you know how to really it's for for business owners
 people and marketing sales entrepreneurs yeah that's cool yeah so uh probably a year away
 I've been realistic I might get a while here I'm I'm writing I write I have my little note app
 on my phone so I start typing in it you know like thoughts I think I have the chapters all done like
 the names of what the sections are and all that but we'll see so uh first time I've talked about
 on the podcast hey took it took uh Mike Bayer to bring it out on the podcast I don't think I've
 even talked about it well I think a lot of people have have thought about it or or just starting and
 you know I think it's it's a great it's it's great to just have expectations uh you know I find it's
 the most helpful to think about how am I helping someone the most with what I'm delivering
 and have little to no expectation of how it sells yes you know that that feels better
 and I'm doing it for me like I I think there's a lot of value in it um I you know
 not that age has it you know everybody's writing a book like 24 year olds trying to teach me how
 to be you know the best version of me and like maybe he can be we can all learn something from
 someone but I don't know I felt like I needed more credit I've done it for 20 years
 and I feel like I needed more experience and now I feel more credible to you know document
 like what should happen and I'm doing it for me more than if if it sells 20 copies I don't care
 you know like cool we'll see that now yeah yeah we'll see I was out to put it there right yeah
 right so how you talked about it a little bit um you know with the calls you do but I was always
 curious I'm always curious with someone like yourself who's you're a transformational coach
 you're you've got these centers you're doing for others you took care of yourself oh you know
 that you that anvil back in 22 that dropped on your head or whatever or dropped quickly but now
 how does someone like you take care of your own mental health yeah that's I think that's a good
 uh because the desperation often uh creates you know a fury of oh I need to do this and this
 you know I do jiu jitsu um four to five times a week I'm entering actually my first jiu jitsu tournament
 next weekend nice um and I start at 40 years old and 41 now and um and I love martial arts and like
 um and I just it's a way I found I find that like really intense exercise where I'm in the moment
 helps me a lot with my mental health um like I mentioned I also have a weekly call with a peer
 mind um where we talk about life and talk about what's going on if I'm really struggling uh I'll call
 and get a therapist for like a few weeks you know if I'm really in a dark spot which is that
 hasn't happened in a while um and I'm always trying to learn you know and I'm always trying to
 evolve you know a woman told me her name is Diane Poole when I was just starting off working in
 this industry she goes Michael it's grow or go and that kind of is life is always growing and
 you either have to evolve and get with it or you don't and so I try the best I can you
 know I try to meditate when I can I try to get a good night's sleep I try to eat healthy um
 and I and I ask for help you know I think um asking for help from others helps a lot with
 their own mental health and I also am committed to not being a victim like the last thing I want
 to do is to feel sorry for myself or think for one second that I um don't have something good
 enough and you look at in this as part of the thing I traveled all over the world really helps
 your mental health when you realize how lousy it is for some people on this planet and when you
 start to go to refugee camps and you start to see what's really going on and how much freedom we
 have in this country how much opportunity we have in this country how much greatness we have in
 this country that seems to help pull myself out a little bit when I'm you know feeling sorry for
 myself makes a lot of sense hey and I love the the grow grow or go it's kind of like user lose it
 yeah exactly so your time of mindset what are some of the you know techniques like all your
 videos are out there we're gonna we're gonna tag all that people be able to you know they can go
 check you out they've probably heard of you's probably seen you but are there a couple you talked
 about it like common techniques that you use um you know with people and trying to get them
 in the right mindset I know you've got a lot of different acronyms and all those kind of things
 but uh is there any of your favorites well I do think I find it's really helpful to help someone
 figure out who their best self is I say that because our parents give us names and then kind of the
 world tells us who we are on this planet and we don't take a lot of time to to really take a step
 back and be like all right well let's just say I didn't have this name Ryan and I'm just feeling
 this vibe like I got this vibe and this energy of who I am authentically and I like to help people
 create it sometimes they draw it they sketch it they have something but that's being able to bring
 that part of themselves into every business meeting bring that into when they're performing I
 find is a really helpful tool um I also like to help people figure out their anti self that part
 that gets in the way the part that we can't stand about ourselves like mines and mail which named
 Angelo's and because I think mail witches don't have a lot of friends I've never seen them in movies
 with friends you know the mail which is always the loser so you add a little bit of humor to that part
 of you that normally you hate and I find that when you can do that it alleviates some of that stress
 and and pain and so I I like to create with people I like people to to kind of know for themselves
 that they're capable if they bring this part of themselves into the meeting and I find that it can
 help people conceptualize you know if someone is going to have a difficult conversation and they're
 like I'm really worried about what they're I would say well what is what would your best self do
 and nine times out of ten they're like well my best self would say ABC and D and I like there's
 your answer so I mean I it seems overly simple but it works and I think it's important to get centered
 and and I think it's like when I say centered it's important to like regulate the body
 um and get your nervous system to to chill and to take time just to be in the moment and
 it's again it's simple and breathing but we have to be reminded to do the most simple thing
 that literally allows us to just get back into the moment um and so a lot of what I try to do is
 help someone get in the moment and figure out like how to show up authentically as themselves I
 mean the way I write I teach people how to do that that's authentic for them but it's you know
 I'm an exercise guy like I've had clients I've worked with for a few years where every day I'm
 creating a new exercise for them and so uh it really just depends on what is going on for that
 person you know I love it is uh is the are you did you did you say that you're retiring from
 working with celebrities and entertainers or is it just I mean is it yeah I'm just not that
 interested um I think like it's it's I either think that I'm uh I don't
 feel good working with celebrities and also growing my public brand like I don't know
 there feels like there's a conflict for me a little bit um what I mean by that is like
 like when you're growing your own brand I make when I work with someone I sacrifice almost
 everything in my own life and that's why I've been successful as I'm not thinking about myself in it
 at all um I also don't want to be in another dressing room like I don't want to be around another
 space where uh people are awkward around other humans because they have this perceived power now
 that does happen still in television or whatever um but I just like I don't I'm not attracted to
 working with famous people because I did that for so long and I I don't see uh
 uh what value there is in my life hey something to be said for that what is the mic bear brand then
 I you know we're coach Mike yeah so they call me coach Mike coach Mike I mean coach Mike
 I yeah but what but what's the what underneath the name you know what's what's the brand what do
 you want yeah to know like what's the if there's like you you can have a couple sentences I
 won't leave you I won't make you know what what's mine yeah I think um my brand is
 straightforward um creative fun uh serious what I need to be and uh
 uh authentically myself like not copying like someone goes to my social media half the time
 you wouldn't even know that I'm like a coach you know like I just posted a photo mean a freaking
 speedo and Rio like I don't care and I used to get a lot of people being like that's not professional
 people can take you seriously and I'm like I'm not looking for people to take me a certain type of
 way like kind of put yourself out there and I want to give other people permission to just like
 you can have a kick ass rocking life by not conforming to what people think
 amen if I had a uh we have a soundboard on our news episodes and I I think I need to bring it back
 for when guests are on because I'd have I have this amen clapping sound like that one of one
 that would have won at least a few things yeah I love it I look I got memes on my uh I don't take
 anything too serious you know like I'm like whatever you know yeah like I think like people um
 uh I I think it would there's like the online personality right and then there's
 who we are when we're on stage or who we are when we're um when I'm on tv now
 on doctor the difference is it's just a matter of how you're helping someone and who you're helping
 you know like I helped someone on doctor Phil on Tuesday um who I don't think has smiled in years
 and I was just smiling you know my whole mouth was smiling because I was looking forward
 to making her eventually smile and maybe doing a follow-up show where I got this woman where you
 feel a different vibe on her and and so it gets exciting for me to figure out like how am I going
 to transform this woman's life how am I going to over deliver and you know I I I get confused
 though I mean you're a marketing guy and this is your your expertise you know I I find that when
 I've had publicists that I've worked with they're like Mike give me five tips to help someone
 with their depression and I'm like five tips like first of all like are people really following
 these tips second of all like there's a huge disconnect when people are really depressed they're
 not going where can I find those five tips that person's like do I want to kill myself do I like
 like it's not even the disconnect is so big between media and the reality of struggle
 and and I think that like I I sometimes struggle because I'm like God media and culture really
 has this belief like no one cares about these celebrities talking about mental health
 like what I mean by that is it doesn't translate because someone who's struggling really
 struggling I mean maybe it happens every now and then is it doesn't it doesn't no one has ever
 come to my center because they saw some promo on television or because of you know Oprah's
 special on mental health with Prince Harry that people today that are struggling and that are
 suffering are like they're so disconnected from entertainment and right now there's this huge
 trend to talk about mental health and like entertainment and I just I don't know some I'm on a
 tangent right now I know no you're going to disconnect and I don't know how to connect it yeah like
 media and what drives clicks and what drives perceived attention isn't always what truly is helping
 those in need right I think that's what for sure you know it's like and I can see the the internal
 struggle that that would bring with you know being on TV doing things to raise your attention
 but wanting to do it real authentically and as you but the struggle of pulling you to well can
 you talk about this can you do that because that's all the rage right now right yeah it's all the
 rage and what I realized though for myself is like not to do it feels better to me and to do it
 in my own way because like I preach when you do it your own way eventually someone sees you like
 you reached out to me I don't know if you would have reached out to me if I was just delivering
 tips and tricks and you know what I mean like so like it attracts the people you actually want to
 work with and get to know and develop a relationship with and it can become tricky because sometimes
 we look at others and go well if I do it that way then I'm gonna get it but I don't think that works
 you know yep yeah yeah copying you're you're only the your true you are the true original copying
 someone else doesn't uh doesn't make it uh I don't have work yeah it takes people a long time
 to do that but Mike I know we've gone a little bit uh longer than planned but this has been really
 interesting to me I hope that was okay and and I really appreciate all the insights you got like
 two minutes for me we do a little section called rad or fat I give you one keyword and you tell me
 rad or fad and what does fad mean fad me it's kind of like good or bad but kind of like or rad or
 maybe uh maybe truly a fad you know like okay do you just say rad or fad that's it yeah you
 could add context we've we've uh everyone seems to like to do it so we a lot we're we're now
 this is really exciting this is very exciting first online coaching rad or fad fat oh god
 what kind of online coaching everybody's an online coach Mike oh
 oh god oh my god I really stumped you on the first one the only reason you stumped me is I
 think there's value yeah but I think there's a lot of pose don't let don't okay it's rad except
 it's a fat if they try to upsell you all right no upsells no upsells I'll think about the
 about to put on some marketing training so I'll keep that mine no upsells all right this is on
 our new we recorded our we do a Friday very topical new marketing and advertising news we do them
 every Friday and this was this one hit kid all came on you know you heard a flaming hot like chips
 and everything that she knows and all that she does flaming hot mountain dew rad or fad
 that's a fad yeah well drinking heat like eating it's like oh my god I was like who
 he comes up with this stuff instagram reels rad or fad oh lord sad oh yes what about TikTok
 it's a little rad okay all right now we're getting there only cuz that's like worked for me
 but yeah yeah Kanye changes name back to yay that's another one yeah
 yeah rad or fad you Kanye you Kanye fan yeah he changes name back it forth I don't know
 okay that's a fat I think you need some help he might use to come come to coach Mike now I don't
 do that anymore I know you would make an exception for Kanye now absolutely not all right now I
 would rather help the guy next door cool honestly like I was on the phone last night for two hours
 with people and I'm helping him for free and it's so exciting now unless now I don't care yeah well
 you're gonna I'm coming to LA I'm gonna I'm on the Wolf of Wall Street's podcast next
 oh cool next month Jordan Belfort going on it is yeah let me know when you're out here yeah I
 love to grab lunch um and then I'm Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag from the hills I don't know if
 you remember that seeing them up we do all their marketing website stuff so oh cool yes I'd
 love to catch up with you when I'm out there yeah let's do it let's do it I really appreciate
 you coming on coach Mike Mike bear talk to everybody where they can find you Mike we're yeah it's
 just coach Mike bear like aspirin on all social medias coach Mike bear calm and then uh yeah
 that's it they can buy my books are on amazon it's my voice for the audiobook um but if I suggest
 getting the hardcover and doing the exercises so love it love it well you he just told you where
 to find your amazon for the books coach Mike bear just google Mike bear you're gonna find this guy
 I know you're there you got to be in the search if you're not at the top of the list we'll get you
 there we'll talk more about that okay we really appreciate coach Mike coming on I'm Ryan
 offered you know to find me at Ryan offer on all the platforms we're at the radcast.com search for
 Mike bear to find all the highlight clips from this episode and many more and we'll see you next time
 on the radcast