Episode 10 - Emotional Vulnerability

WEBVTT

00:01:26.100 --> 00:01:33.510
Welcome to Spirit Outspoken, where we dive deep into the realms of spirituality, healing, and the beautiful chaos we call life.

00:01:33.700 --> 00:01:38.980
From ancient traditions to modern practices, we are going to explore it all.

00:01:39.379 --> 00:01:46.439
Whether you're a newbie or a seasoned seeker, you're guaranteed to find something that inspires, challenges, and intrigues you here.

00:01:46.680 --> 00:01:51.939
So grab your favorite beverage, find a cozy spot to curl up, and join us for Spirit Outspoken.

00:01:57.182 --> 00:02:09.233
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Spirit Outspoken today, Jason and I are really excited because we're talking about something that's very near and dear to our heart and that is emotional vulnerability.

00:02:09.332 --> 00:02:09.703
Yes.

00:02:09.973 --> 00:02:15.853
So I don't think you start a podcast without being ready to be a little bit emotionally vulnerable.

00:02:15.853 --> 00:02:24.793
And you and I certainly were no strangers to this because I mean, my God, we started in the very first episode, we were sharing like our deepest, darkest pain and struggles.

00:02:24.843 --> 00:02:25.212
Yes.

00:02:25.242 --> 00:02:27.973
so clearly we are very comfortable with this concept in this time.

00:02:28.712 --> 00:02:36.133
But I think it is important if we're talking about emotions to address just how powerful vulnerability can be.

00:02:36.293 --> 00:02:36.552
Yes.

00:02:36.582 --> 00:02:59.707
And I think Brene Brown has been an incredible resource in the past number of years at bringing Um, giving people freedom to speak their truth openly and honestly, and that there is power and support and community and all these wonderful things that start to happen when we're willing, bold enough and brave enough to actually step into that and be our authentic selves and share that with others.

00:02:59.978 --> 00:03:07.997
So we're going to just dive into it today and discuss all those various aspects, what it means to us, how it's impacted us, and all those wonderful things.

00:03:08.228 --> 00:03:10.927
you found a really great quote from Brené herself.

00:03:11.028 --> 00:03:11.768
Yes.

00:03:11.858 --> 00:03:12.598
I love this quote.

00:03:13.067 --> 00:03:15.788
So it's vulnerability is not weakness.

00:03:15.987 --> 00:03:18.658
It's our greatest measure of courage.

00:03:19.338 --> 00:03:19.888
I love that.

00:03:19.918 --> 00:03:20.707
I know.

00:03:20.747 --> 00:03:22.427
That's so simple, but it says it all.

00:03:22.848 --> 00:03:26.198
Being yourself does take so much courage, doesn't it?

00:03:26.198 --> 00:03:26.617
It does.

00:03:27.177 --> 00:03:29.608
I mean, because there's fear of being liked.

00:03:29.647 --> 00:03:31.828
There's fear of not being accepted.

00:03:32.138 --> 00:03:33.197
Even as adults.

00:03:33.358 --> 00:03:34.487
That runs deep.

00:03:34.577 --> 00:03:40.997
Yeah, that fear right of if I myself and I'm not accepted, what does that mean?

00:03:41.228 --> 00:03:55.598
And the different environments that we step into where we might feel as though we need to wear a certain face or a certain mask, whether that's our family of origin, whether that's our corporate environment, whether that's our, friend circle or social circle or whatever.

00:03:56.197 --> 00:03:59.237
There's all these different arenas that we enter into.

00:03:59.288 --> 00:03:59.687
Yes.

00:03:59.728 --> 00:04:08.598
And sometimes along with that, there can be expectations or a feeling that in order to fit in, we need to be a certain way, think a certain way, do certain things.

00:04:09.077 --> 00:04:13.468
And it does take bravery and great courage to just be who you are.

00:04:13.557 --> 00:04:13.958
Yes.

00:04:14.038 --> 00:04:15.437
And I will say as your friend.

00:04:15.528 --> 00:04:21.343
You are someone who has It's such an authentic, you're just so authentically you.

00:04:21.502 --> 00:04:24.872
Oh, regardless of who you are with or where you are.

00:04:24.872 --> 00:04:29.283
And that is something that I have always admired about you and been drawn to.

00:04:29.653 --> 00:04:30.543
That's really nice.

00:04:30.572 --> 00:04:33.233
You know, and with you, I appreciate you saying that.

00:04:33.242 --> 00:04:34.072
And you do.

00:04:34.103 --> 00:04:38.452
I see how I just know how I feel when I'm with you.

00:04:38.963 --> 00:04:42.463
And I know that I feel safe to be my whole self.

00:04:42.603 --> 00:04:43.822
Good, bad, otherwise.

00:04:43.862 --> 00:04:44.322
Totally.

00:04:44.333 --> 00:04:48.098
Thank you And I think you do such a good job of creating that environment for others.

00:04:49.127 --> 00:04:49.497
Reach.

00:04:49.747 --> 00:04:49.877
Yeah.

00:04:49.918 --> 00:04:52.437
Well, you know, give credit where credit is due.

00:04:52.447 --> 00:04:53.528
That's really nice.

00:04:53.557 --> 00:04:53.768
Yeah.

00:04:53.798 --> 00:04:55.877
I, I really do appreciate you saying that.

00:04:55.918 --> 00:04:59.088
I think, you know, it's funny.

00:04:59.257 --> 00:05:05.497
It's, I, I think it's true in a sense that if you understood some of the emotions behind it, I think that's interesting too, right?

00:05:05.548 --> 00:05:09.418
I do feel like I'm unapologetically myself, for sure.

00:05:09.918 --> 00:05:15.497
Because I found that it's just the effort to hide who I am is too great.

00:05:15.588 --> 00:05:16.028
Yes.

00:05:16.057 --> 00:05:18.447
I've never really been able to hide who I am.

00:05:18.447 --> 00:05:30.208
But I would say that doesn't come without insecurities even if I'm unapologetically myself, if I walk away and I don't feel like I'm fully accepted, that's really hard for me.

00:05:30.278 --> 00:05:30.658
Yeah.

00:05:30.728 --> 00:05:36.327
And I've struggled with that, even as an adult, I would say I've really, really sort of changed in the last couple years.

00:05:36.327 --> 00:05:43.147
I remember praying and asking God, I was like, I don't feel like I've found a group where I'm really accepted.

00:05:43.442 --> 00:05:47.322
Yeah, but I'm really accepted and I just am loved for who I am.

00:05:47.332 --> 00:06:00.867
I'm loved for my flaws You know like the ridiculous things I say are not received with eye rolls But people can see the humor and the things that I see humor in And I would say God answered that prayer.

00:06:00.937 --> 00:06:05.228
it's been really cool to see the people that have come into my life and you're certainly one of those.

00:06:05.228 --> 00:06:17.497
And, to feel like you can be vulnerable and you can be yourself and think exactly what you're thinking without fear of judgment, that is freedom in relationships.

00:06:18.517 --> 00:06:22.478
And I think that's really, even if it, and that's the courage part.

00:06:23.007 --> 00:06:25.038
If we can put ourselves out there.

00:06:25.587 --> 00:06:30.467
And face the fear of rejection or face the fear of not being accepted.

00:06:33.087 --> 00:06:43.947
That opens the way to true acceptance because here's the thing, not everybody is gonna like what you have to say and not everybody's gonna like exactly who you are.

00:06:44.337 --> 00:06:49.598
So you may go through a period where man, I, I don't know who my people are, right?

00:06:49.677 --> 00:06:55.277
But you will find your people and those people will love you for exactly who you are.

00:06:55.447 --> 00:06:57.158
And I think it's worth going through that.

00:06:57.348 --> 00:06:57.598
Yeah.

00:06:57.598 --> 00:06:58.207
Experience.

00:06:58.228 --> 00:07:01.957
It brings relationships to such a deeper level.

00:07:02.007 --> 00:07:02.527
Yes.

00:07:02.538 --> 00:07:02.867
Right?

00:07:02.867 --> 00:07:11.867
When there's no pretenses or expectations or, like you said, to just be who you are, good, bad, otherwise.

00:07:11.918 --> 00:07:12.187
Yes.

00:07:12.197 --> 00:07:19.577
And be able to share that with another person and still have them show up and love you and appreciate you and not think less of you.

00:07:19.978 --> 00:07:20.442
that's, that's really important.

00:07:20.442 --> 00:07:21.973
That's amazing.

00:07:21.973 --> 00:07:22.502
That's amazing.

00:07:22.812 --> 00:07:29.122
And I think a lot of this is formed on intangible things of relationships, right?

00:07:29.122 --> 00:07:36.752
We joke around about the vibe check, does the vibe check out when you meet a new friend or if you're in a group, do you feel safe?

00:07:36.772 --> 00:07:39.392
Do you feel energetically comfortable?

00:07:39.502 --> 00:07:42.163
I am all for vulnerability, but.

00:07:42.327 --> 00:07:48.798
You also need to be aware, I think, of who you are most vulnerable with.

00:07:48.918 --> 00:07:58.487
There are certain people that I just don't allow complete access to my emotions because I just don't feel that the safety there, right?

00:07:58.668 --> 00:08:05.327
Like, and so I think having discernment, And you can still be authentic without sharing deep, dark secrets.

00:08:05.337 --> 00:08:11.567
And I think that's what we want to get at, too, is like authenticity doesn't always mean sharing everything, sharing everything.

00:08:11.677 --> 00:08:12.527
That's such a good point.

00:08:12.598 --> 00:08:12.947
Yeah.

00:08:13.038 --> 00:08:14.997
And I'm glad that you said that because I feel the same way.

00:08:15.098 --> 00:08:21.117
I don't necessarily share the deep, gnarly things that are going on.

00:08:21.337 --> 00:08:23.467
In my life with everybody, right?

00:08:23.507 --> 00:08:23.967
Right.

00:08:24.027 --> 00:08:26.497
It's like, Hey, this is really personal.

00:08:26.497 --> 00:08:28.837
And this is a really big challenge for me.

00:08:29.377 --> 00:08:31.337
Not a lot of people get access to that.

00:08:31.377 --> 00:08:31.827
Yes.

00:08:31.877 --> 00:08:42.447
So having discernment and who you share things with doesn't mean that you have to hold back your authenticity or hold your essence back, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

00:08:42.998 --> 00:08:43.398
Yeah.

00:08:43.498 --> 00:08:44.687
I think that's a good distinction.

00:08:44.697 --> 00:08:45.268
Yes.

00:08:45.707 --> 00:08:47.427
So vulnerability is a strength.

00:08:47.557 --> 00:08:50.687
It creates connection and it builds authenticity.

00:08:51.008 --> 00:09:08.008
I would say too, You referenced the podcast in terms of vulnerability in sharing our stories, sharing my son's diagnosis, you sharing your very unique experience with loss and grief.

00:09:08.673 --> 00:09:14.682
And I think for both of us, that has contributed so much for our own healing.

00:09:14.913 --> 00:09:15.263
Yes.

00:09:15.342 --> 00:09:29.263
And originally, I realized that sharing on the Caring Bridge, where I update if there's any major changes, some things are a little bit more stressful than others, some things I'm happy to report really exciting good news.

00:09:29.263 --> 00:09:29.750
Mm hmm.

00:09:29.750 --> 00:09:30.235
Mm hmm.

00:09:30.235 --> 00:09:30.723
Mm hmm.

00:09:31.572 --> 00:09:37.723
That has been a level of vulnerability, but I have found it incredibly therapeutic.

00:09:37.773 --> 00:09:40.383
And it's been part of my own healing journey.

00:09:40.753 --> 00:09:49.493
But to bring that To a podcast, which is a much different public venue than a caring bridge.

00:09:49.493 --> 00:09:59.233
That's just basically our closest friends and family, and friends of friends that have followed along the journey that has required something a little bit different, but I have found that.

00:09:59.713 --> 00:10:05.543
So healing because I'm seeing how others are connecting with our story.

00:10:05.593 --> 00:10:23.023
Yes, and I will, I will readily admit as we are talking about being vulnerable here wouldn't when we were about to hit record on this, and I was realizing like anyone in the world is now going to be able to log on and hear very personal.

00:10:23.343 --> 00:10:34.783
Details about my life and especially when we're talking about something as personal as spirituality and as potentially volatile as spirituality, right?

00:10:34.873 --> 00:10:39.603
And I had moments of, do I want to share this?

00:10:39.633 --> 00:10:43.613
Like what, what will certain people think if they know that?

00:10:43.613 --> 00:10:50.703
Or I had a little bit of that, but when you get back to that idea of it healing you, sharing it and just putting it out there.

00:10:51.238 --> 00:10:58.488
I've been amazed at how much it's helped already with my confidence in terms of just being who I am.

00:10:58.638 --> 00:10:58.978
Yes.

00:10:58.998 --> 00:11:02.158
And being okay with the fact that, you know what?

00:11:02.228 --> 00:11:04.828
If you don't agree with me, that's okay.

00:11:04.938 --> 00:11:05.338
Yes.

00:11:05.398 --> 00:11:10.343
And I'm finally Okay, with you not being okay with it.

00:11:10.883 --> 00:11:12.432
I'm so glad that you said that.

00:11:12.643 --> 00:11:23.313
Yeah, because I think that's another layer of vulnerability that we've had to face as well is like, will we be judged for some of our beliefs?

00:11:23.333 --> 00:11:26.363
Will we be judged for being too outspoken?

00:11:26.703 --> 00:11:33.333
Will we be judged for talking about new cutting edge, maybe considered taboo topics?

00:11:33.343 --> 00:11:33.533
Yes.

00:11:33.638 --> 00:11:37.298
To mainstream Christianity, which is, and we're both Christian.

00:11:37.307 --> 00:11:37.918
We're Christian.

00:11:37.918 --> 00:11:40.208
You guys, it's not like we've all of a sudden defected.

00:11:40.748 --> 00:11:42.398
But, that was a big thing for me, too.

00:11:42.488 --> 00:11:51.008
It was like, okay, we are knowingly putting stuff out there that could be viewed as controversial or we could be judged for it.

00:11:51.048 --> 00:11:51.418
Oh, yeah.

00:11:51.427 --> 00:11:52.588
Based on our beliefs.

00:11:52.648 --> 00:11:55.163
And that really I mean, I was terrified.

00:11:55.182 --> 00:12:01.843
I remember saying to Jason, I text, I was like, well, I'm just bracing myself like that.

00:12:01.843 --> 00:12:04.443
I'm going to be told that I'm going to hell at some point.

00:12:04.513 --> 00:12:08.363
And I say that jokingly, but that's upsetting.

00:12:08.443 --> 00:12:09.160
That is upsetting.

00:12:09.160 --> 00:12:14.533
And that's, yeah, it's, it does make you go, am I going to be able to handle that?

00:12:14.753 --> 00:12:17.763
Am I going to be okay if someone says that to me?

00:12:17.993 --> 00:12:21.423
And I had to be willing to get over that fear.

00:12:21.423 --> 00:12:23.273
And I think what helped me was just.

00:12:24.288 --> 00:12:30.348
You know, if I'm, if I'm thinking these things, if I'm questioning these things, other people are too.

00:12:30.438 --> 00:12:41.388
And I have found that as I have continued to evolve and grow in my spiritual journey, that this has brought me such immense peace and joy and growth that I have never experienced before.

00:12:41.677 --> 00:12:42.148
Yes.

00:12:42.158 --> 00:12:44.908
And if I can be a part of helping someone else find that.

00:12:46.733 --> 00:12:48.643
Then it's worth it.

00:12:48.653 --> 00:12:49.393
It's all worth it.

00:12:49.403 --> 00:12:50.323
You know, yes.

00:12:50.353 --> 00:12:56.593
And like by being vulnerable and saying, yes, I'm investigating other theories of spirituality.

00:12:56.953 --> 00:12:57.413
Yes.

00:12:57.423 --> 00:12:58.563
that's what I'm doing.

00:12:58.573 --> 00:12:59.563
You're absolutely right.

00:12:59.603 --> 00:13:03.243
It makes it okay for other people to feel vulnerable.

00:13:03.253 --> 00:13:03.273
Yeah.

00:13:03.523 --> 00:13:06.613
Vulnerable enough to be authentically who they are.

00:13:06.802 --> 00:13:12.633
Yeah, I think the biggest travesty that I've seen is where people don't Connect anymore.

00:13:12.733 --> 00:13:21.523
They don't feel connected to spirituality because one element of their religious upbringing is Doesn't make sense to them.

00:13:21.583 --> 00:13:23.843
So they throw the baby out with the bath water.

00:13:23.883 --> 00:13:26.723
They throw baby Jesus out with the bath water.

00:13:26.723 --> 00:13:32.263
Don't throw him out.

00:13:32.263 --> 00:13:37.802
Don't throw him out.

00:13:38.743 --> 00:13:40.703
But like, it's true though.

00:13:40.733 --> 00:13:41.173
It's true.

00:13:41.193 --> 00:13:41.653
It's true.

00:13:41.673 --> 00:13:42.963
And I think too.

00:13:45.213 --> 00:13:52.052
You know, like we're a different generation, there's a lot of people in the same boat as we find ourselves in.

00:13:52.083 --> 00:13:52.493
Yeah.

00:13:52.743 --> 00:13:57.603
Who were raised in a religion and a faith that is still meaningful to them.

00:13:57.633 --> 00:13:58.033
Yes.

00:13:58.103 --> 00:14:00.673
But maybe some of the.

00:14:01.218 --> 00:14:09.228
Rhetoric or some of the, dogma, dogma, that is out there is not resonating with us and we just feel like there has to be a better way.

00:14:09.318 --> 00:14:09.748
Yes.

00:14:09.807 --> 00:14:11.498
And I don't want to be a part of that.

00:14:12.258 --> 00:14:12.778
Right.

00:14:12.988 --> 00:14:13.358
Right.

00:14:13.378 --> 00:14:23.677
I mean, honestly, I don't want to be a part of anything that is telling other people they're going to burn in hell or they're, you know, pointing out other people's sins or any type of hypocrisy like that.

00:14:23.698 --> 00:14:24.688
I have no time for that.

00:14:24.818 --> 00:14:25.177
I know.

00:14:25.177 --> 00:14:26.648
And I don't want to be associated with it.

00:14:26.658 --> 00:14:28.498
And I think a lot of people in our generation don't.

00:14:28.768 --> 00:14:30.498
And we see that the system is flawed.

00:14:30.768 --> 00:14:35.688
And we're asking questions because we are demanding a more authentic relationship with God.

00:14:36.358 --> 00:14:40.028
Than just living by laws and structures and things that have been told to us.

00:14:40.378 --> 00:14:41.718
We want to experience it.

00:14:41.738 --> 00:14:46.438
I almost feel as though it's a time of mysticism and that sounds evil.

00:14:46.438 --> 00:14:51.338
like Christian mystics have been around for, saints in the Catholic church are Christian mystics.

00:14:51.338 --> 00:14:55.598
It's having an experiential knowledge of God.

00:14:55.608 --> 00:14:58.158
And I feel as though our generation is craving that.

00:14:59.518 --> 00:15:01.971
You just dropped that fucking mic, Rach.

00:15:01.971 --> 00:15:03.033
Yes.

00:15:04.453 --> 00:15:04.813
I don't know.

00:15:04.813 --> 00:15:09.932
No, that's so I felt like you just wound up and then you just launched and I love it.

00:15:10.023 --> 00:15:16.033
But that's so true, And, being vulnerable allows connection with other people.

00:15:16.682 --> 00:15:25.663
But I think the other benefit is you learn more about yourself because if you say the things that you are scared to say out loud.

00:15:27.028 --> 00:15:30.648
You, you get an indicator of how it makes you feel, right?

00:15:30.688 --> 00:15:40.138
Like you get that kind of gut check, like, all right, I have these thoughts in the back of my mind and I'm scared to say I'm out loud because of fear of judgment.

00:15:40.708 --> 00:15:44.427
And then you speak them and one of two things can happen.

00:15:44.498 --> 00:15:49.668
You could say, I don't know if that actually connects with my inner self, but you speak them.

00:15:49.668 --> 00:15:53.208
And you say, that felt like I was speaking my truth.

00:15:54.163 --> 00:15:58.993
That can tell you if you're on the right path or not for you as an individual, yeah.

00:15:59.023 --> 00:16:09.307
And I think that that is the beauty of blurring the lines a little bit, like, and we're even seeing now, I mean, look at the, all of the different, Churches within Christianity, right?

00:16:09.318 --> 00:16:25.858
Like there went through a phase where literally there was like 15 different types of Christianity Yeah, there is all of these very specific divisive things and different things within the church and that gave in some ways Power to own individuals to say like, okay.

00:16:25.858 --> 00:16:27.668
I don't like that flavor of Christianity.

00:16:27.668 --> 00:16:28.738
I like this other one.

00:16:28.868 --> 00:16:36.738
Yeah What's the harm in saying like, okay, I want to incorporate other aspects of spirituality that aren't just Christianity, right?

00:16:36.738 --> 00:16:37.848
Like what's the difference?

00:16:37.848 --> 00:16:39.168
We all have the same God.

00:16:39.278 --> 00:16:39.688
Yeah.

00:16:39.768 --> 00:16:52.158
And that might also enhance, and that's been my experience that some of these, if you want to call them more mainstream or new age, spirituality, or New Age practices, if you want to call them that.

00:16:52.778 --> 00:17:06.008
Really, what I'm finding as I learn more about them is, one, so many of them are steeped in science, and I've always been a big believer that science is only helpful, that science only proves that there is a creator in something large.

00:17:06.028 --> 00:17:06.367
Yes.

00:17:06.377 --> 00:17:07.127
Larger than ourselves.

00:17:07.137 --> 00:17:08.218
It reaffirms your faith.

00:17:08.228 --> 00:17:08.577
Yeah.

00:17:08.768 --> 00:17:21.857
And so I see those two going together, and I have found, similarly, that a lot of these practices only help me experience Christ in a more tangible way.

00:17:22.468 --> 00:17:23.317
Yes.

00:17:23.417 --> 00:17:33.057
You know, it's like I take it, I put it through my Christian filter and I'm allowed to experience my Christianity in a new and different way that feels even more real and even more tangible.

00:17:33.458 --> 00:17:34.097
Yes.

00:17:34.268 --> 00:17:35.298
And that's what I love.

00:17:35.778 --> 00:17:36.718
I love that too.

00:17:37.107 --> 00:17:40.198
this reminds me of something, I had a conversation with my mom.

00:17:40.617 --> 00:17:41.067
I young.

00:17:41.067 --> 00:17:58.387
I think it was like 12 or 13 and I don't remember what we were talking about, but I just remember Saying this statement It was one of those things where it's like you're having this thought and you feel vulnerable And courageous enough to say it and then You say, wow, that's my truth.

00:17:58.438 --> 00:18:02.927
I remember saying to her, I don't believe in Jesus because the Bible tells me to.

00:18:02.978 --> 00:18:06.847
I believe in Jesus because of my own experience of him in my life.

00:18:07.248 --> 00:18:08.147
I am not.

00:18:08.288 --> 00:18:08.637
Boom.

00:18:08.667 --> 00:18:09.018
Yeah.

00:18:09.028 --> 00:18:15.377
I am not gonna make my decisions based on somebody tell me if I don't, I'm going to go burn in hell.

00:18:15.708 --> 00:18:18.528
That if I don't do this, then this is going to happen.

00:18:18.538 --> 00:18:33.932
So you better do that or else there's, Devastating consequences or just telling me to do something because I should like, good luck telling me to do something like, you know, me and to me, that is so against what he would want.

00:18:34.063 --> 00:18:39.013
I mean, the whole Bible is about Christ desiring a relationship with us.

00:18:39.033 --> 00:18:39.643
Yes.

00:18:39.972 --> 00:18:42.033
And an authentic relationship.

00:18:42.053 --> 00:18:42.383
Yes.

00:18:42.393 --> 00:18:46.563
You cannot have an authentic relationship built on fear in this life or the next.

00:18:47.293 --> 00:18:47.903
Amen.

00:18:48.263 --> 00:18:48.702
Right?

00:18:48.753 --> 00:18:49.003
Amen.

00:18:49.093 --> 00:18:50.643
I don't think that's how he wants it.

00:18:50.873 --> 00:18:53.313
So yet we keep throwing that out there.

00:18:53.633 --> 00:18:54.503
It's that genuine.

00:18:54.513 --> 00:18:58.613
If you're doing something based on fear, yeah, you're not doing it.

00:18:58.763 --> 00:18:59.893
You're being coerced.

00:18:59.913 --> 00:19:00.583
It's not of God.

00:19:00.603 --> 00:19:01.423
It's not of God.

00:19:01.833 --> 00:19:07.333
Coerce is saying it's like you're literally being forced, but you're mentally being coerced into believing something.

00:19:07.343 --> 00:19:08.273
Manipulation.

00:19:08.293 --> 00:19:08.673
Yes, exactly.

00:19:08.682 --> 00:19:10.593
Go back to our scale of consciousness.

00:19:10.593 --> 00:19:11.543
Where is that on the scale?

00:19:11.553 --> 00:19:12.202
Very low.

00:19:12.222 --> 00:19:12.543
Yeah.

00:19:12.603 --> 00:19:12.863
Yeah.

00:19:12.913 --> 00:19:13.992
Good luck with that one.

00:19:14.793 --> 00:19:21.212
you know, what else are I really seeing vulnerability be helpful is in conflict resolution.

00:19:22.873 --> 00:19:28.083
When I think about younger JASA, I would take us, which honest to God, I'm like, who was that person?

00:19:28.242 --> 00:19:28.773
Lunatic.

00:19:28.803 --> 00:19:29.303
Oh my god.

00:19:29.303 --> 00:19:29.643
I know.

00:19:29.742 --> 00:19:30.403
I'm shocked.

00:19:30.403 --> 00:19:31.992
I'm, I made it out alive.

00:19:32.083 --> 00:19:34.863
I don't even know who the 20 something Rachel was.

00:19:34.873 --> 00:19:37.883
Oh my gosh, if we knew each other then, like, that would have been a problem.

00:19:37.893 --> 00:19:38.952
I don't think we would have survived.

00:19:38.982 --> 00:19:40.263
We would, we'd be in jail right now.

00:19:42.432 --> 00:19:44.278
It would have been fun though.

00:19:44.278 --> 00:19:47.266
It would have been fun.

00:19:47.316 --> 00:19:51.676
I think about the way I handle conflict now.

00:19:52.736 --> 00:20:10.826
As a 40 year old versus late 20s early 30s and the goal for me was to win was to be right and I'm realizing now if I have conflict with somebody and I'm good at conflict, but I really dislike it.

00:20:11.115 --> 00:20:19.516
if something's off with somebody, I don't like to get into the nitty gritty with some, like some people just enjoy arguing for the sake of arguing.

00:20:19.836 --> 00:20:20.736
I really do not.

00:20:21.556 --> 00:20:25.066
but when I say I'm good at conflict now, I feel like.

00:20:25.661 --> 00:20:48.260
Instead of my goal being to win, my goal is to understand and to resolve and the way in which I've gotten there is to take vulnerability to the table with me and what that typically looks like is, Hey, you said something and it really hurt me.

00:20:49.186 --> 00:20:54.696
When you said X, Y, and Z, that made me feel this way.

00:20:55.105 --> 00:21:00.865
And I don't think I would have ever admitted that you were hurt.

00:21:00.885 --> 00:21:01.346
Nope.

00:21:01.395 --> 00:21:01.686
Yeah.

00:21:01.686 --> 00:21:05.135
Because I really associated that as a sign of weakness.

00:21:05.186 --> 00:21:05.395
Yeah.

00:21:05.740 --> 00:21:15.671
And I was going to force the conversation to show that they were an asshole and they were rude and how dare they say that.

00:21:15.980 --> 00:21:21.500
And that's a much different approach than saying I was deeply hurt by that.

00:21:21.561 --> 00:21:40.951
And that for me, for somebody that has overactive self assuredness, Can be overly confident in situations because that's my armor, you know, to kind of put that down and to say that hurt me.

00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:42.311
And that made me feel bad.

00:21:42.401 --> 00:21:47.591
And I had a emotional reaction that really.

00:21:48.506 --> 00:22:06.706
Upset me or, or, you know, unsettled me and that I have found has been transformative to the conversations because either somebody doesn't know that they've done something or, they're going through their own things that I don't understand or something.

00:22:06.776 --> 00:22:10.726
I said, created a defense, defensive response to them.

00:22:10.726 --> 00:22:14.016
so they responded in fear or anger or shame.

00:22:15.280 --> 00:22:17.961
And then we're just going back and forth and hurting each other, right?

00:22:17.961 --> 00:22:22.020
And nobody's seeing each other, no one's speaking, like listening or hearing each other.

00:22:22.831 --> 00:22:27.561
And that just says like, God, I just feel so much better about those conversations.

00:22:27.561 --> 00:22:33.871
And listen, even if somebody like doesn't see it, I feel really good about how I have handled it.

00:22:33.980 --> 00:22:34.421
Yes.

00:22:34.471 --> 00:22:36.000
I can make peace with that.

00:22:36.071 --> 00:22:36.530
Yes.

00:22:36.780 --> 00:22:38.790
If you at least know that you've extended.

00:22:38.801 --> 00:22:44.811
And when you were saying that, what I thought was so interesting because you were saying for you having.

00:22:45.181 --> 00:22:49.750
in overactive assertiveness when you were younger.

00:22:49.801 --> 00:22:50.171
Yeah.

00:22:50.270 --> 00:22:57.540
I was the total opposite and avoided, but I needed to learn the same exact method that you did.

00:22:57.770 --> 00:23:03.181
So the result was the same of me saying this happened and you hurt me.

00:23:03.250 --> 00:23:03.571
Yes.

00:23:03.591 --> 00:23:07.819
Whereas before I would not feel comfortable letting other people know that they've even hurt me.

00:23:08.611 --> 00:23:10.591
upset me or you know what I mean?

00:23:10.591 --> 00:23:12.191
I would love people now.

00:23:13.161 --> 00:23:14.161
Yeah, which is not healthy.

00:23:14.530 --> 00:23:14.941
Yeah.

00:23:14.941 --> 00:23:17.081
And it's also not healthy to avoid.

00:23:17.081 --> 00:23:23.740
So there in the middle is that beautiful spot of vulnerability that regardless of where you're starting from is so important to get to.

00:23:23.790 --> 00:23:25.311
It's that's such a good point.

00:23:25.341 --> 00:23:25.621
Yeah.

00:23:25.651 --> 00:23:26.861
That was well said rage.

00:23:27.341 --> 00:23:28.030
Kudos.

00:23:28.730 --> 00:23:30.040
Think about sisterhood.

00:23:31.081 --> 00:23:31.581
Okay.

00:23:31.631 --> 00:23:41.780
Everybody, if you're lucky enough to go on girls trips or you're lucky enough to have a circle around you of, of amazing women, and it doesn't need to be a big circle.

00:23:41.821 --> 00:23:43.010
It can even be one.

00:23:43.451 --> 00:23:57.020
Think about the connection when you share stories, when you share the things that nobody knows and like how many times if you're on a really good girl's trip, you're like, this stays in the nest, like our husband.

00:23:57.230 --> 00:23:57.801
It's funny.

00:23:57.841 --> 00:23:58.811
I always have a disclaimer.

00:23:58.811 --> 00:23:59.221
I'm like.

00:23:59.801 --> 00:24:03.421
Well, can my husband Charlie know this, or is this like really in the nest?

00:24:03.780 --> 00:24:05.490
Cause there's like the inner nest.

00:24:05.540 --> 00:24:05.980
Yes.

00:24:06.061 --> 00:24:07.811
And then there's the extended nest.

00:24:07.811 --> 00:24:08.671
It's the fringe.

00:24:08.681 --> 00:24:09.121
The fringe.

00:24:09.141 --> 00:24:10.201
The husbands are on the fringe.

00:24:10.671 --> 00:24:10.901
Yeah.

00:24:10.901 --> 00:24:15.641
And like a lot of times, like we're good friends with, you know, with each other's husbands, which is great.

00:24:15.651 --> 00:24:18.301
And like half the time I'm like, Oh no, they could know that.

00:24:18.311 --> 00:24:25.625
But it's like, You know, sometimes if you're really being vulnerable, you're saying things out loud that nobody knows.

00:24:25.706 --> 00:24:26.046
Yeah.

00:24:26.096 --> 00:24:30.865
And they're the things that are deep in there that cause immense shame and shame creates pain.

00:24:31.246 --> 00:24:34.186
Pain creates fractured relationships, right?

00:24:34.196 --> 00:24:36.365
Poor communication, all of the different things.

00:24:36.826 --> 00:24:45.826
So it's just such a beautiful tool as well to just connect you and to free yourself because shame.

00:24:46.155 --> 00:24:49.295
In the dark just grows and grows and growth.

00:24:49.296 --> 00:24:54.385
And there is something so beautiful about being able to just say it to someone else, a trusted source.

00:24:54.956 --> 00:24:57.806
And it's like, it can't live in the light.

00:24:58.105 --> 00:24:58.506
Yes.

00:24:58.536 --> 00:24:58.895
Right?

00:24:58.946 --> 00:24:59.266
Yes.

00:24:59.266 --> 00:25:01.536
Shame cannot live when it's exposed.

00:25:01.576 --> 00:25:01.976
Yes.

00:25:02.016 --> 00:25:13.036
And it's so freeing and healing to be able to just admit honestly to a trusted source, a source of shame or guilt or frustration or sadness that you've been lugging around.

00:25:13.046 --> 00:25:13.526
Yes.

00:25:13.526 --> 00:25:13.573
Yes.

00:25:13.573 --> 00:25:13.620
Yes.

00:25:13.730 --> 00:25:14.471
for so long.

00:25:14.490 --> 00:25:15.951
It's, it's so true.

00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:33.381
And I think having, having a village or a squad, or you can be like, Oh my gosh, you guys, I am so mortified about how I just reacted to the situation with my child and having people be like, Oh my gosh, me too.

00:25:33.726 --> 00:25:34.846
I've done that too.

00:25:36.476 --> 00:25:41.016
Being able to just be human and not be perfect.

00:25:41.336 --> 00:25:41.625
Yeah.

00:25:41.625 --> 00:25:52.026
And I think for both of us who are recovering perfectionists, I would say that too, like the perfectionism thing, podcast is a way to pull at that perfect thread.

00:25:52.391 --> 00:25:56.290
Where I'm like, Oh, I should have said that differently.

00:25:56.290 --> 00:25:59.391
I was like, Oh, that's got to go right out the fricking window, right?

00:25:59.421 --> 00:26:02.391
Like I'm not going to bring my judgment, my self judgment into this.

00:26:02.441 --> 00:26:03.611
We don't need to be perfect.

00:26:03.770 --> 00:26:17.290
And this is like Ben, something where, yeah, like we're creating something where people may judge, not just our thoughts and our beliefs and our questions and the things that we're investigating, but literally us.

00:26:17.290 --> 00:26:17.581
Right.

00:26:17.760 --> 00:26:18.221
Right?

00:26:18.311 --> 00:26:18.631
Yeah.

00:26:18.681 --> 00:26:19.691
As people.

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:27.951
As people, as women, but yeah, just being able to be yourself as a human and being seen as a mother is an incredible way of gaining strength.

00:26:27.980 --> 00:26:31.250
And like on the flip side of that is confidence, right?

00:26:31.250 --> 00:26:34.500
Like I'm now like, I don't really care how I look on camera.

00:26:34.750 --> 00:26:34.921
Yeah.

00:26:34.921 --> 00:26:41.770
I don't really care if I stumble over my words or, I said something that is like silly or stupid.

00:26:41.780 --> 00:26:42.711
I think it's funny.

00:26:43.826 --> 00:26:48.536
I'm going to laugh at myself and you're going to laugh at yourself and there's so much beauty and freedom in that.

00:26:48.865 --> 00:26:50.176
And that's been really liberating.

00:26:50.226 --> 00:26:50.676
Yeah.

00:26:51.176 --> 00:26:51.635
I know.

00:26:51.885 --> 00:26:52.125
Yeah.

00:26:52.145 --> 00:27:02.956
This whole thing has been, you know, we started with the goal of only helping others and it's becoming so clear to me how much this is helping me.

00:27:03.706 --> 00:27:22.526
sharing my story, being vulnerable, putting myself out there, releasing some of those perfectionistic tendencies, helping to see myself in new ways, learning from you every, I mean, it's just over and over and over these amazing lessons that I am learning through this.

00:27:22.526 --> 00:27:22.920
Yes.

00:27:23.171 --> 00:27:23.500
Yeah.

00:27:23.500 --> 00:27:25.561
So it's really just been a true gift.

00:27:25.990 --> 00:27:30.651
And that was because, yeah, you embrace vulnerability and so did I.

00:27:31.201 --> 00:27:35.480
We both have gained so much self confidence and just being like, we are who we are.

00:27:36.181 --> 00:27:38.321
And I like that.

00:27:38.520 --> 00:27:40.351
I like reaching that really good.

00:27:40.391 --> 00:27:41.061
It does.

00:27:41.101 --> 00:27:43.411
And I think your forties are all about that too.

00:27:43.471 --> 00:27:43.831
Yeah.

00:27:44.211 --> 00:27:59.530
And I just think it keeps getting better and better the older you get, I think too, as a mom and I obviously with boys too, but especially as Girls, I just want them to know who they are and be confident in who they are.

00:27:59.891 --> 00:28:09.451
I spent so much time worrying about what other people thought of me and trying to be something that I thought I should be or, beating myself up because.

00:28:09.951 --> 00:28:10.500
I don't know.

00:28:10.581 --> 00:28:13.020
I didn't fit some stereotype or expectation.

00:28:13.151 --> 00:28:14.441
And it was such a waste of time.

00:28:14.621 --> 00:28:15.361
I know.

00:28:15.431 --> 00:28:16.020
I know.

00:28:16.051 --> 00:28:17.461
But we had to go through that, right?

00:28:17.641 --> 00:28:19.081
It's all learning and growing.

00:28:19.101 --> 00:28:19.301
Yeah.

00:28:19.301 --> 00:28:20.081
The other side of it.

00:28:20.290 --> 00:28:24.851
I would say, too, when other people are vulnerable with me, it makes me feel good.

00:28:24.961 --> 00:28:25.301
Yes.

00:28:25.361 --> 00:28:28.040
Because it makes me feel like they trust me.

00:28:28.121 --> 00:28:28.381
Yeah.

00:28:28.411 --> 00:28:29.881
And I'm a safe place.

00:28:29.891 --> 00:28:29.911
Yeah.

00:28:30.051 --> 00:28:33.500
I remember, it was really interesting.

00:28:33.500 --> 00:28:34.721
It was somebody that's.

00:28:35.111 --> 00:28:38.101
way more senior than I am in a work situation.

00:28:39.111 --> 00:28:46.351
it was a pretty high pressured presentation, but not something that was completely outside of the realm of what we do on a regular basis.

00:28:46.951 --> 00:28:50.990
And afterwards I went to this individual and I was like, you did a really nice job.

00:28:51.641 --> 00:28:54.181
And he looked at me and he goes, I was super nervous.

00:28:54.681 --> 00:28:55.790
I was really nervous.

00:28:55.851 --> 00:29:12.455
I'm glad that you thought I did a good job and that like his admission of nerves, his vulnerability of saying because there is a point where I would be like, over my dead body, am I going to admit that I'm nervous?

00:29:12.605 --> 00:29:17.885
I will be so overprepared where you will think I'm doing this in my sleep when that's the opposite.

00:29:17.915 --> 00:29:28.246
It's like I'm so terrified of somebody knowing how I really feel inside that, you over pivot where I'm like, Oh my gosh, how much more simple would it be if we just said, yeah.

00:29:28.446 --> 00:29:33.436
I was really nervous, but it made me feel good that person could share how they felt.

00:29:33.446 --> 00:29:34.686
I'm like, they trust me.

00:29:34.776 --> 00:29:35.125
Yeah.

00:29:35.236 --> 00:29:37.016
I'm somebody that they can open up to.

00:29:37.066 --> 00:29:38.191
And that feels good too.

00:29:38.191 --> 00:29:39.076
It means a lot.

00:29:39.135 --> 00:29:39.596
Yeah.

00:29:39.635 --> 00:29:45.296
And on the topic of men, just so you know, guys, emotional vulnerability is sexy.

00:29:45.415 --> 00:29:45.855
Okay.

00:29:45.865 --> 00:29:51.326
So if you're just beasting your way through life and you feel like nobody can know what you're thinking, Don't do that.

00:29:52.226 --> 00:30:02.706
Well, and it's interesting, you know, when I was in my parenting class, there's really a big push now for parents of boys especially in our culture to help boys.

00:30:02.980 --> 00:30:14.441
name and identify their feelings because, looking at just some of the issues we have with mental health with young men and, they need to learn how to process emotions and feel their emotions.

00:30:14.441 --> 00:30:16.301
I identify and identify them.

00:30:16.341 --> 00:30:22.211
And that's part of the concern is with young men is we never teach them those coping skills and how to do that.

00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:34.770
And then they, Have no other way except aggression or, kind of this male toxic masculinity, toxic masculinity, you know, toxic masculine environment that we've created.

00:30:35.230 --> 00:30:39.490
and we really need to help boys and men work through that.

00:30:39.591 --> 00:30:46.510
I am thankful every day that I have a husband who is so kind and.

00:30:46.881 --> 00:30:47.561
Open.

00:30:47.651 --> 00:30:48.131
Yes.

00:30:48.191 --> 00:30:52.280
And it is such a gift to myself and to my kids.

00:30:52.321 --> 00:30:52.520
Yeah.

00:30:52.520 --> 00:30:53.711
And Charlie's the same way.

00:30:53.711 --> 00:30:53.980
I know.

00:30:53.980 --> 00:30:55.230
He's the same way.

00:30:55.230 --> 00:30:55.941
For sure.

00:30:56.361 --> 00:30:57.951
It's important.

00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:58.230
Yeah.

00:30:58.230 --> 00:30:59.121
In a relationship.

00:30:59.301 --> 00:30:59.891
I know.

00:30:59.951 --> 00:31:00.671
It really is.

00:31:00.671 --> 00:31:06.260
And being emotionally vulnerable in front of your kids is also something that's really key.

00:31:06.260 --> 00:31:07.661
And I had to learn that.

00:31:07.721 --> 00:31:08.051
Oh man.

00:31:08.811 --> 00:31:10.270
I'm still struggling with that, Rach.

00:31:10.301 --> 00:31:16.480
I thought if I cried in front of my kids that I was, Damaging them, you know?

00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:18.821
And it, and I, I, so I still feel that way.

00:31:18.971 --> 00:31:19.901
And it, yeah.

00:31:19.951 --> 00:31:21.421
and I know it's wrong.

00:31:21.601 --> 00:31:23.040
Ryan was the one who helped me.

00:31:23.040 --> 00:31:25.451
He's they need to see this model to them.

00:31:25.861 --> 00:31:26.040
Yes.

00:31:26.071 --> 00:31:27.000
That you're human.

00:31:27.030 --> 00:31:27.211
Yes.

00:31:27.211 --> 00:31:28.740
That you're not just super mom.

00:31:28.831 --> 00:31:28.921
Mm-Hmm.

00:31:29.250 --> 00:31:30.361
like you're a human being.

00:31:31.221 --> 00:31:34.611
Who has emotions and has bad days and has hard times.

00:31:34.621 --> 00:31:34.921
Yes.

00:31:34.971 --> 00:31:37.441
It's okay that they see that in you.

00:31:37.510 --> 00:31:38.141
Yes.

00:31:38.211 --> 00:31:38.841
It is.

00:31:38.861 --> 00:31:39.181
Yeah.

00:31:39.421 --> 00:31:42.101
And it brings out empathy in our kids too.

00:31:42.211 --> 00:31:42.540
Yeah.

00:31:42.571 --> 00:31:43.561
So I actually.

00:31:44.101 --> 00:31:44.891
That's so true.

00:31:45.081 --> 00:31:45.581
Yes.

00:31:45.591 --> 00:31:48.431
So last night I told you I was like at my wits end.

00:31:48.520 --> 00:31:53.790
It was a really arduous bedtime.

00:31:54.240 --> 00:31:55.611
Gosh, those were the worst.

00:31:55.821 --> 00:31:56.331
The worst.

00:31:56.381 --> 00:31:59.311
And I literally got to the point of like almost crying.

00:31:59.401 --> 00:32:00.141
I was like.

00:32:01.105 --> 00:32:02.756
Bleeding and to my kids.

00:32:02.776 --> 00:32:05.895
And my second oldest was like, are you going to cry?

00:32:06.956 --> 00:32:08.115
And I was like, maybe.

00:32:08.946 --> 00:32:12.466
And I, you know, fast forward and there's a lot of yelling too.

00:32:12.476 --> 00:32:14.256
It wasn't all just I was like weepy.

00:32:14.385 --> 00:32:16.256
I was also like get out back.

00:32:17.395 --> 00:32:22.446
And I, I was repairing with my two oldest kids.

00:32:22.476 --> 00:32:24.076
And I said, listen, I'm really sorry.

00:32:24.256 --> 00:32:25.586
I was having a little bit of a rough night.

00:32:26.721 --> 00:32:34.871
And I didn't mean to get, I didn't mean to yell and it's not your fault that I'm feeling emotional.

00:32:35.040 --> 00:32:35.611
This is me.

00:32:35.661 --> 00:32:37.201
You are not causing these emotions.

00:32:37.201 --> 00:32:38.019
This is, this is my own fault.

00:32:38.020 --> 00:32:39.520
My emotions are my.

00:32:39.780 --> 00:32:40.161
Yes.

00:32:40.431 --> 00:32:40.780
Yeah.

00:32:41.071 --> 00:32:42.020
And my oldest.

00:32:42.020 --> 00:32:42.171
Yeah.

00:32:42.381 --> 00:32:46.071
He just looked at me and he said, I still think you're the best mommy on the planet.

00:32:47.260 --> 00:32:48.091
I know.

00:32:48.161 --> 00:32:55.000
And my second oldest, who you know very well, who like isn't a man of a lot of comfort.

00:33:00.030 --> 00:33:04.540
He goes, no matter what you do, I will always love you.

00:33:05.446 --> 00:33:08.026
And I realized in that moment, those are words I say to him.

00:33:08.875 --> 00:33:10.996
No matter what you do, I will always love you.

00:33:11.125 --> 00:33:12.466
That is never a question.

00:33:12.786 --> 00:33:20.955
So even if you do something that we have to talk about in terms of behavior and things that we need to course correct, that has zero reflection on how much I love you.

00:33:21.105 --> 00:33:21.716
I love you.

00:33:22.155 --> 00:33:32.946
And so when we're talking about modeling certain things, it gave them an opportunity to provide empathy to me based on what I've tried to model to them.

00:33:33.506 --> 00:33:40.151
And then my youngest is very cute, is very aware of emotions will be like, you know, Is your frustrated all gone?

00:33:41.611 --> 00:33:42.331
Is it gone now?

00:33:42.831 --> 00:33:43.401
Are you happy?

00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:45.101
Are you still frustrated?

00:33:45.790 --> 00:33:48.740
And half the time I'm like, actually, I'm still pretty frustrated with you.

00:33:49.651 --> 00:33:50.931
Do you really want to know?

00:33:51.581 --> 00:33:52.681
It's not quite gone yet.

00:33:53.211 --> 00:34:01.891
But to your point, I have three boys and it's very important to me that they don't feel the need to toughen out emotions.

00:34:02.181 --> 00:34:13.790
That they do feel like they can communicate because I have a husband that is such a great husband and is such a great father because, he makes it safe for other people.

00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:20.601
I wish sometimes he would make it safer for himself to be vulnerable, I think that is so true, because I think.

00:34:21.016 --> 00:34:22.516
Yeah, in our household, too.

00:34:22.615 --> 00:34:31.465
Ryan does an amazing job of allowing everyone to express themselves and their feelings and fall apart with them and follow, while they're in their moment.

00:34:31.485 --> 00:34:31.775
Yeah.

00:34:31.976 --> 00:34:34.415
And I but I don't know if he always lets himself.

00:34:34.476 --> 00:34:35.206
Yes.

00:34:35.335 --> 00:34:35.645
Yeah.

00:34:35.655 --> 00:34:36.605
Such good insight.

00:34:36.605 --> 00:34:37.215
Yeah.

00:34:37.266 --> 00:34:41.155
I and I think that even our most emotionally emotionally.

00:34:41.380 --> 00:34:54.061
In tune men, they could still feel a resistance to really feel and to really share their deepest darkest fears because they have to be the strong ones, right?

00:34:54.101 --> 00:35:02.570
But what we're seeing and what our BFF Brené says is that the real strength is invulnerability, right?

00:35:02.630 --> 00:35:03.621
And not in.

00:35:04.070 --> 00:35:05.540
The masks that we put on.

00:35:05.770 --> 00:35:07.650
Yeah, for, everybody else.

00:35:07.790 --> 00:35:08.141
Yeah.

00:35:08.701 --> 00:35:09.820
Oh, my gosh.

00:35:09.871 --> 00:35:10.710
This was good.

00:35:10.750 --> 00:35:11.701
This was a goodie.

00:35:11.721 --> 00:35:14.710
This was good heartfelt vulnerable stuff.

00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:25.851
So we have decided that for the resource guide this week, we are going to come up with three different sets of conversation starters to help people kickstart vulnerable conversations.

00:35:25.860 --> 00:35:28.201
So we're going to have one, for partners.

00:35:28.290 --> 00:35:32.760
So you and your spouse or girlfriend, boyfriend, one for friends.

00:35:33.435 --> 00:35:34.645
And one for family.

00:35:34.985 --> 00:35:35.585
Oh my gosh, I love that.

00:35:35.585 --> 00:35:36.940
And we'll put it all up.

00:35:36.951 --> 00:35:40.931
You can download it, print it out, do whatever, and hopefully it'll fit.

00:35:41.400 --> 00:35:43.520
for some good conversations.

00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:49.000
I, you know what I like about that, especially the family one, vulnerability is going to take practice.

00:35:49.380 --> 00:35:50.400
It's going to take practice.

00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:53.020
It's not something that's going to just come naturally.

00:35:53.370 --> 00:36:04.820
So having a guide in a way, especially the family one, starting with our kids, when our kids are young to help them exercise that muscle and then it becomes more natural as adults.

00:36:04.820 --> 00:36:09.760
Foster that within the walls of our home, that we are a safe space where we can talk about hard things.

00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:10.221
Awesome.

00:36:10.221 --> 00:36:15.310
Well, guys, if you enjoyed today's episode, please share this with your friends, your community.

00:36:15.530 --> 00:36:19.780
Rachel and I are so enthusiastic about what we're doing here on Spirit Outspoken.

00:36:19.780 --> 00:36:21.540
So help us spread the good word.

00:36:22.170 --> 00:36:25.640
Have a beautiful, blessed week and we will catch you soon.

00:36:26.190 --> 00:36:28.020
Thanks for joining us for today's episode.

00:36:28.170 --> 00:36:33.943
If you're ready to take your spirituality to the next level, be sure to check out our website, spiritoutspoken.

00:36:33.943 --> 00:36:34.313
com.

00:36:34.763 --> 00:36:41.763
There you can download free educational resources, read our latest blog posts, and join the Spirit Outspoken community.

00:36:42.373 --> 00:36:52.653
And don't forget to follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Spirit Outspoken to stay up to date on news, happenings, shenanigans, and all things Spirit Outspoken.