Episode 37 - Spiritual Origins: Elizabeth Byrd's Story of Traditions, Psychedelics & Awakenings (Part1)

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Welcome to Spirit Outspoken, the podcast for Christians who are ready to explore the deeper side of faith.

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We believe God's truth is bigger than what we've been taught, and that real spirituality isn't something to fear, it's something to discover.

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Each week we open the space to explore miracles.

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Energy, healing consciousness and divine science all through the lens of a God who loves us, and a faith that's still unfolding.

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Whether you're deconstructing, rebuilding, or just feeling spiritually stuck, this is your place to reconnect with wonder, deepen your walk and let the spirit speak.

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Welcome to Spirit Outspoken.

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Today's episode is unlike anything we've shared before.

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We sat down with Elizabeth Bird, a creator and spiritual voice.

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We stumbled across on Instagram at Lizbeth Rising.

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What started as curiosity turned into a jaw dropping, soul shaking story.

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Liz's journey moves through a Slavic Christian upbringing trauma.

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Psychedelics, mystical encounters, past life downloads, and ultimately a personal connection to God and Jesus that reshaped everything.

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This episode is long, deep, and intense, so we're breaking it into chapters.

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As you listen, ask yourself, where do I see myself in this story?

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Where do I still need permission to question, grieve or awaken?

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Chapter one.

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Growing up, Slavic Christian, Liz begins by painting a picture of what it meant to grow up in a deeply traditional Slavic Christian community where everything from dancing to card games was considered sinful.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>From previous conversations, I'm realizing somewhat of a unique journey when it comes to Christian people or like a person coming from a Christian background, but also pretty common for like the new age movement.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>My journey began with psychedelics, which is, funny because now I'm sober.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Now I don't even use them myself.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I don't, have anything negative to say about them.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Just don't feel called to use them anymore.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I outgrew that, I guess, but it did serve me for a time and, like you guys mentioned a lot of people.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>We will get on the spiritual journey out of like rough aspects of their life, things coming up, trauma trigger death, like difficult things are really what push us to make changes and to like crack us open, start questioning reality, why things are the way we are.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>If everything's going great, then yeah, of course it's easy to believe in a loving God and then something goes hard and it's like you start questioning things and different answers start to come up.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>For me, it feels like the very beginning portion of my life was like all of that struggle.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like it's not to say I had it so bad, I'm very grateful I had so much beauty, but I grew up in a Slavic culture.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So my family is from Moldova, which is a small country in eastern Europe, right next to Ukraine.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>We're basically like bordering countries and my dad is actually Ukrainian and my mom Moldovan, but I was born there and then at six months, in 2001 we moved to the United States and.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>along with like probably hundreds of thousands other Slavic immigrants moved here.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>It was a big movement.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>After 1991, the Soviet Union dissolved and everyone just started coming out and we congregated in this little apartment complex.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>A few of them actually in Sacramento area.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then we had churches and churches full of Slavic people, and there was two main denominations.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>You would either be a Baptist or a Pentecostal, some orthodox sprinkled in, but mainly US villagers.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>We were all settling in those two churches, and that's how we even got to America in the first place was through the church.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>The thing about Slavic people is they're very behind.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>They're traditional, like they might be on your parents' level, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like boomer generation, maybe even a little older, like whatever that is, generation A or something.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I forget.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>But the generation before boomers, so like I relate a lot to my husband's parents because they're in their late sixties and seventies and I feel like I was raised.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Similar to them with those kind of morals and values being instilled in me.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Right.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so we're pretty behind.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so I grew up very conservative.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like tattoos were sin, piercings were looked down on, obviously very conservative clothing, very pure living, even like, no dancing.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Dancing was a sin.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>They had their cultural sins as well, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so it was very tight knit.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>But I was fortunate enough to have like, parents who were, I would say a little more on like the open end.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>They were a little more, they were younger, they were more loose, they liked to drink occasionally, my mom dressed nicely, she liked jewelry.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>She was beautiful.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>A little provocative maybe, so it was a little different for me because I wasn't part of like one of those older parents who were like super strict.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was the eldest child of two parents who were like.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Pretty relaxed and I grew up going to church, but not super strictly, not super conservatively.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>We would go like Sunday and then occasionally it'd turn into like every other Sunday.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I grew up with a picture Bible, but not like straight up, reading the Bible with my parents every night, like I know that There's so much diversity in how Christians go about it.

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Chapter two, rebellion, insecurity, and Spiritual Disconnection.

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Next, Liz shares what led her away from the church and how unresolved pain and family pressure pushed her toward rebellion and a deep disconnection from Faith.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then in my teen years, I started to pull away from church altogether because of insecurity.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Everyone in the Slavic community is very focused on appearances, status, style, like your car, like all those types of things.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like we came here poor and we're all trying to make it big.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so everyone comes to church flexing, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's like, oh, what are you wearing?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>How do you look?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>What car did you drive?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So me, I started going through this through this weight gain during my late teens, during my teens.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>When I went to high school, I went homeschooled and I started gaining a lot of weight and that made me very insecure.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause it was rapid weight.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I gained like 60 pounds in like one year.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So it was like bam, it was just bad sleep schedule, bad diet, lifestyle, just everything.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Depression just started eating.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I also grew up in a, somewhat of an abusive household.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like what?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Slavic considered discipline is what Americans would consider abuse.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Right.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And there's definitely a lot of anger being taken out on me that I was a se again, the O oldest child, I had one little sister who was seven years younger than me, and so a lot of the heat really went on me.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I got all the, all the anger, all the frustration, but from both my parents and I was seven during the recession when my dad got laid off.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So again, like, imagine like all the frustration, just trying to figure out life and it's all getting taken out on me.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>When I was going through my teens, being depressed, being insecure already, not liking my parents, like hating them, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like pretty much just no respect for them.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I started to rebel and I started to not have that same level of respect for God as I think a child that ra like is raised in a more healthy household does, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's like, if this is my father, but my only experience with a father is abusive and anger and like fear, then naturally I'm not gonna connect that deeply with the heavenly father.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And there were, there were nights where like, I even just, I, like, I would pray for God to just like, take me away.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like, and I would be mad that I would still be there the next day.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'd be like, why?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Why am I here?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So my life started out with a lot of that I, I feeling very isolated.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>A lot of just anger taken out on me, a lot of pain insecurity, things like that.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I would say around 16,, I got a taste of freedom.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I started going out with like some friends, I got an older girlfriend.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>We started going out meeting boys, and I was, again with the Scorpio stuff, I had a lot of those kind of, I had a lot of lessons in relation to sex, death, and rebirth.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I started being interested in boys and, I, I started dating my first boyfriend and eventually like ran away from home.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>At 16.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I basically got in my car with$20 to my name and I just left and I was living outta my car.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Then I started sleeping at my boyfriend's house, my grandma.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So it's just like all over the place, not really knowing what I was doing, but I knew I needed to do it.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I remember my parents calling me and being like, come home.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like we're sorry, Like low key begging me to come back.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was like, guys, it's not even about you right now.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>For whatever reason, like I need to do this.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I had this old soul, I had this part of me that just needed liberation freedom.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it was during that time, like I started smoking cigarettes.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I started smoking weed and that kind of went on for a little while.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I had that taste of freedom and it was fun and it was cool.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>But definitely a lot of tough lessons came with it.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then my boyfriend and I broke up after about like almost a year.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I eventually moved back home.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it was great, honestly, being back in a safe environment, my parents were much better.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>They basically realized they couldn't really control me anymore.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I gained that like, okay, you, you just live here, we're gonna leave you alone type of thing.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I got that freedom that I probably needed in this life to experience what I was gonna go on to experience.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So then I got into a new group of friends who were older than me Romanian, which is like a cousin to like Slavic people.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>They're very similar.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>They're very close to us.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>One of those friends was like my best friend.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>He was much older than me.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And he became like a role model, a mentor.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then I made another friend around the same time who was a Slavic guy and they both were agnostic and atheist.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was like, whoa.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>This is weird.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>You guys are raised like me and I really respect you.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause you're smart.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I can talk to you deeper than I've ever been able to talk to anybody.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>You guys are not here to just kick like you think, you think, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I'm like, Ooh, this is cool.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I'm like, so you don't believe in God?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so like the next couple, like weeks of just getting to know them, they started showing me stuff and videos and Joe Rogan, like, that was my first exposure to Joe Rogan at like 17, and like they were just like exposing me to like all this stuff.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was like, oh yeah, like of course like religion is so silly.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>None of it matters, mind you, I'd already stopped going to church during that whole period because I knew I was living a hypocritical life.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was doing things I wasn't supposed to be doing, so I didn't want to go and sit there and be told You're doing what you're not supposed to be doing.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I distanced myself from church.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then this gave me the permission slip to basically be like, here, go ahead and live your life whatever way you want.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>God isn't even real, like, who cares?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>But a part of me knew there's something out there.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was more on the agnostic side, like I don't know what's out there, but I don't know if religion has it.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Right.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And honestly, that was a super important season for me because it really allowed me to wipe the slate clean and remain open.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Because I realize now with so many Christians, when you try to explain certain things, they're always going to reference it to this box that they have in their mind of like, okay, this is what the Bible teaches me in Christianity, and does that fit in this box?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And if it doesn't, then it's.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Out the window immediately, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I didn't have that box.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was open, I was, very circular.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>You can just, come in and flow and then leave.

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Chapter three, psychedelics and the portal to God.

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What happened next?

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Surprised even Liz through psilocybin and DMT.

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She had undeniable mystical experiences, encounters that cracked open her heart and made her question everything she'd been taught about God.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it was during that time that I also started to experiment with psychedelics.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>That was like when I started doing psilocybin mushrooms.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Mainly that was really it.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I didn't really do like hard drugs, although a lot of my friends did.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>They were doing, cocaine, ketamine, like crazy stuff, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I, I stuck with my cigarettes and my weed and my mushrooms.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I was a simple girl, I didn't even really like to drink much.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was around alcoholics, but I was like, this is what I'm a sixties.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So again, like

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<v Rachael Loney>Cool.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>to who I was around, I was doing okay.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And, what I started experiencing with the mushrooms is like, okay, people are weird on them.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like, I'm not really like that.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like everyone was just getting like a weird state.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>All their inner demons would be coming out, they'd be acting funny.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was like.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm just gonna do these by myself.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I'm just gonna go to nature.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm gonna find a nice spa at a creek and sit there and do mushrooms.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it was during that time that I started to have these very synchronistic experiences with homeless people, which I know sounds weird, but I think of that whole saying of like the Bible where it's like you never know when you're among angels, and that's how it felt to me, where knew I was alone.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I would do mushrooms to connect to God.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>That was sort of like my church at the time.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like that was how I was reconnecting with my spirituality.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I didn't know it yet, but that's really what it was doing for me because I was no longer finding that in the group that I was in.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Everyone was just doing the same things.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was already outgrowing it.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I outgrew things quickly at that age, and so I was like doing these mushrooms and a lot of the times I would just be all alone and then somebody would like come up to me and at first I'd be like very on guard and then they would like start telling me stuff.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>It was natural and in conversation, but then I could start to feel like, oh, is something divine, like something's happening here.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then I would, I would open and I would become more present and there and safe and, and then it was just like the most beautiful things transpired where like I would just have these deep level conversations.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>My first time was with an older man.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>He was a grandpa, with a little dog.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I think he was living out of an rv, but he was at that creek.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>He actually used to do mushrooms when he was young at that very creek.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>I had some extra, he took'em.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>It was a trip, and we had a great time, and it's funny because like afterwards, I would try to reconnect with some of these people and it was never the same.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So for whatever reason the frequency of the mushrooms was like bringing in something different.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Sometimes I wondered if they were empty vessels and something higher was coming through or if it was just kind of the matrix, right?

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>Where like maybe these people are just the ones that don't fit into the matrix and they're on the outskirts and they're just sort of being used as these little, I don't know.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>It was strange.

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<v Elizabeth Byrd>So that started to open me up though, to the idea that this reality might not be all that it seems, that energy is real.

00:14:43.042 --> 00:14:44.902
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I started to question is there a god?

00:14:44.902 --> 00:14:45.502
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Is there something?

00:14:45.502 --> 00:14:47.302
<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause it very much felt like it, right?

00:14:47.302 --> 00:14:54.831
<v Elizabeth Byrd>With all the synchronicities happening, I couldn't deny that there was something out there looking out for me, sending me answers, sending me insight and guidance.

00:14:54.892 --> 00:15:02.572
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And knowing like that I was so isolated that, would send me these little angels in disguise, like to come keep me company right as I was figuring things out.

00:15:02.977 --> 00:15:17.576
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then it wasn't until about 2019 when I started dating this guy, and it really led to a lot of deeper, darker lessons So I had this guy who was kind of like leaching off me energetically, but I couldn't leave it.

00:15:17.757 --> 00:15:20.627
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But there was a good thing that came out of it, which is he was a party guy.

00:15:20.627 --> 00:15:26.387
<v Elizabeth Byrd>He did a lot of like festivals and concerts and he had DMT, which is a higher form of psychedelic that I'd never tried.

00:15:26.447 --> 00:15:27.677
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And when I did, I.

00:15:28.922 --> 00:15:29.522
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I did it wrong.

00:15:29.522 --> 00:15:31.922
<v Elizabeth Byrd>You're supposed to keep your eyes closed, but I actually had them open.

00:15:31.972 --> 00:15:39.292
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I probably would've blasted off if I had them closed, but what I saw was the whole room just turned into pixelated colors and beautiful shapes and geometry.

00:15:39.292 --> 00:15:42.172
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It was just like things were pulsating and everything was alive.

00:15:42.172 --> 00:15:44.692
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's like I saw the energy behind the materiality.

00:15:44.692 --> 00:15:49.922
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It was like, you know how we say like, this is an energetic world, and it's all just vibrating at the frequency of matter, right?

00:15:49.922 --> 00:15:51.612
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So it's like that Matter just dissipated.

00:15:51.612 --> 00:15:55.062
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And all I saw was energy and I felt like I was in the presence of God.

00:15:55.102 --> 00:15:58.942
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And all I felt was awe and wonder and gratitude.

00:15:58.942 --> 00:16:03.022
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it felt like everything that happened in my life was like leading to that moment.

00:16:03.022 --> 00:16:09.052
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And that's when I just undeniably knew there was a God, like God was real and I might've just met it.

00:16:09.081 --> 00:16:10.012
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like that's how it felt.

00:16:10.072 --> 00:16:12.982
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And from that point, like things really started to accelerate.

00:16:12.982 --> 00:16:14.782
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Things really started to shift for me.

00:16:15.182 --> 00:16:17.882
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Just from that one acknowledgement so around the same time.

00:16:18.647 --> 00:16:21.127
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was dating this guy This guy started working on my car.

00:16:21.127 --> 00:16:25.417
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I knew this guy was a mechanic and I knew him from the past and I had this very unique car.

00:16:25.417 --> 00:16:27.007
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's like this old German diesel car.

00:16:27.007 --> 00:16:28.597
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And he happened to know how to work on it.

00:16:28.597 --> 00:16:29.826
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So he was working on it.

00:16:29.826 --> 00:16:31.057
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And he was also around the same age.

00:16:31.057 --> 00:16:40.567
<v Elizabeth Byrd>The guy that I was dating, they're a little older, like seven, eight years older than me and he started kinda like showing interest in me, but I was so caught up with this other dude that I was like, nah, no, just like fix my car.

00:16:40.567 --> 00:16:44.737
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like keeping him at arm's reach,'cause for the longest time I was like, I'm gonna be a free spirit.

00:16:45.007 --> 00:16:47.467
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm gonna travel, I'm not gonna have kids.

00:16:47.467 --> 00:16:51.267
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like, I was just very much in that movement, of not gonna tie me down.

00:16:51.717 --> 00:16:55.617
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And at the same time, I was like, okay, maybe I do want something more serious.

00:16:55.617 --> 00:16:56.397
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Maybe I'm ready.

00:16:56.607 --> 00:16:58.032
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I was like, what would that look like?

00:16:58.032 --> 00:16:58.872
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I wasn't super.

00:16:59.292 --> 00:17:01.692
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like into spiritual practices at that time.

00:17:01.692 --> 00:17:06.581
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But that's when I started journaling and I started reflecting and I started healing a lot of the wounds of like my dad, right?

00:17:06.731 --> 00:17:07.511
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm like, okay, sure.

00:17:07.511 --> 00:17:09.281
<v Elizabeth Byrd>He traumatized me, he messed me up.

00:17:09.281 --> 00:17:12.432
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But what was good about his marriage to my mom?

00:17:12.432 --> 00:17:14.682
<v Elizabeth Byrd>What mattered, what was important, what did I like?

00:17:14.741 --> 00:17:20.951
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so I started journaling that and I realized like, man, this mechanic guy, this guy Ryan, like he checks all these boxes.

00:17:20.951 --> 00:17:21.852
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like, did I mess up?

00:17:21.852 --> 00:17:25.602
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Was I too caught up with this other dude to see what was right in front of me?

00:17:25.932 --> 00:17:26.622
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And.

00:17:27.487 --> 00:17:30.037
<v Elizabeth Byrd>eventually I basically reached out to him.

00:17:30.037 --> 00:17:36.737
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And we started dating and that's when I started going through another level of spiritual awakening.

00:17:36.737 --> 00:17:37.817
<v Elizabeth Byrd>At first it was still fun.

00:17:37.817 --> 00:17:39.497
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was just getting into past lives.

00:17:39.497 --> 00:17:41.777
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was just getting into like Dolores Cannon's work.

00:17:42.076 --> 00:17:48.196
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Jesus in these scenes is a book that she did through past life regression where she I was like, oh, like maybe there is something with Jesus.

00:17:48.227 --> 00:17:50.477
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Okay, Christianity's not real, but, but what about Jesus?

00:17:50.477 --> 00:17:53.126
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like that guy, like I, I still love that guy.

00:17:53.126 --> 00:17:55.436
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like nothing, no hard feelings towards you, Jesus.

00:17:55.646 --> 00:17:58.182
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So of course there'd be more to his story, right?

00:17:58.182 --> 00:18:00.567
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it opened me up to some interesting insights of.

00:18:01.261 --> 00:18:10.672
<v Elizabeth Byrd>The fact that he, he might have grown up in a mystical community they had these mystery schools throughout history in all parts of the world, and there was so much that checked out to me that I was like, okay.

00:18:10.672 --> 00:18:15.231
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I started getting into astrology a bit more, looking into the chakra system a bit.

00:18:15.291 --> 00:18:16.701
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it was all fun and games.

00:18:16.701 --> 00:18:22.971
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then through my husband, now my boyfriend at the time, started going through like my dark night of the soul.

00:18:23.461 --> 00:18:25.922
Chapter four, the dark night of the soul.

00:18:26.682 --> 00:18:28.662
Awakening doesn't come without the shadow.

00:18:29.322 --> 00:18:37.961
Liz entered what she now calls a mental health, a years long unraveling of trauma, ego, ancestral pain, and hormonal imbalance.

00:18:39.922 --> 00:18:44.211
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I was triggered into like so many, so much wounding.

00:18:44.211 --> 00:18:47.241
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like it didn't just come from this life, it came from past lives.

00:18:47.241 --> 00:18:48.501
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It came from my lineage.

00:18:48.501 --> 00:18:52.192
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like the feminine in my life, all the women in my family.

00:18:52.596 --> 00:19:03.616
<v Elizabeth Byrd>My ancestry, just so much started to come through me and it was, I won't go into too much depth'cause it's pretty personal stuff, but it was like, for the next couple years I pretty much was living in complete hell.

00:19:03.677 --> 00:19:05.447
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I, I had lost my mind.

00:19:05.447 --> 00:19:10.396
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's like, I like to think of it as like, our mind is like a computer, a virus came in and hijacked everything.

00:19:10.396 --> 00:19:13.157
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And for the next few years I was just sitting there deleting, deleting.

00:19:13.157 --> 00:19:14.687
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was just constantly trying to get.

00:19:14.792 --> 00:19:17.221
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Power back over my mind now.

00:19:17.352 --> 00:19:20.126
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It never felt like something outside of me was doing it.

00:19:20.132 --> 00:19:29.442
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It felt like my own ego was being triggered, my shadow was coming out and that I needed to face a lot of these wounds, feel them and heal them.

00:19:29.442 --> 00:19:38.082
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And like for a long time I fought it and it was also tied in with my hormones because I had pulled out my birth control implant after being on it for three years.

00:19:38.142 --> 00:19:41.562
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I realized through being with my boyfriend, like maybe I do want kids.

00:19:41.562 --> 00:19:45.372
<v Elizabeth Byrd>He started healing a lot of wounds that I had because I was worried I'd be like my dad.

00:19:45.372 --> 00:19:46.451
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I thought I'd mess up kids.

00:19:46.451 --> 00:19:47.592
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was like, I'm not gonna have kids.

00:19:47.592 --> 00:20:00.162
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I locked that away for years and years and all of a sudden like that started to heal and I pulled out the implant and I realized later on, I didn't know there was a word for it, but I basically was struggling with PMDD, which is premenstrual dysphoric disorder.

00:20:00.162 --> 00:20:01.632
<v Elizabeth Byrd>A lot of women are talking about it right now.

00:20:01.632 --> 00:20:09.402
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I think it might be related to, obviously like many women are struggling with hormonal imbalance, but maybe it's the birth control, like maybe it's whatever reason a lot of women are.

00:20:09.477 --> 00:20:10.106
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Experiencing it.

00:20:10.106 --> 00:20:23.596
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I didn't know it at the time, I didn't know other people had it, but to me it was like the two weeks before my period, I was in complete hell where my mind was consumed with obsessive thinking, replaying the past, all kinds of hurt, all kinds of wounds.

00:20:23.787 --> 00:20:30.576
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Things had happened in the beginning of my relationship with him so yeah, I was really depressed and I was in no place to do any sort of teaching or sharing on it.

00:20:30.576 --> 00:20:34.457
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I was very isolated, alone and just figuring it all out.

00:20:34.457 --> 00:20:42.317
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then couple years into this, I had my final mushroom trip, which was I think like 2022.

00:20:42.797 --> 00:20:47.086
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was in a bad place, which you're not supposed to do, and I did them by myself.

00:20:48.106 --> 00:20:51.217
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I pretty much had a bad trip.

00:20:51.267 --> 00:20:55.106
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so what happened was I was crying and bawling my eyes out.

00:20:55.106 --> 00:20:55.947
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was depressed.

00:20:55.947 --> 00:21:00.086
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was like, honestly like suicidal at times where I just like wanted to give up.

00:21:00.086 --> 00:21:01.947
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was tired, I was exhausted.

00:21:01.947 --> 00:21:03.927
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was like too much for one person to bear.

00:21:04.197 --> 00:21:08.487
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I didn't have anybody in my life who related to me or I could talk to really about this.

00:21:08.737 --> 00:21:09.606
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I just felt crazy.

00:21:09.606 --> 00:21:14.376
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I felt like a lunatic, and again, it's hard to go, it's hard to understand without context, but it's very personal.

00:21:14.376 --> 00:21:16.157
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I don't feel like, appropriate to share it all.

00:21:16.157 --> 00:21:21.207
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But basically, when I was crying, I was like laying on the floor and I started to like.

00:21:22.047 --> 00:21:30.177
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Close my eyes and I felt like I was tapping in and out of this reality where I was like overhearing a conversation that I was having in reality, an alternate reality.

00:21:30.177 --> 00:21:43.646
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It was like I couldn't hear exactly, it was like muffled, but I felt like I was tuning into another version of me living out a different life and this message where it was like, if this life is too hard for you, you can always just opt out.

00:21:43.707 --> 00:21:45.927
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was like, what?

00:21:45.927 --> 00:21:47.336
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like that scared the crap outta me.

00:21:47.336 --> 00:21:48.567
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was like, what does that even mean?

00:21:48.567 --> 00:21:50.366
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like is this really just a simulation?

00:21:50.366 --> 00:21:52.167
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I can just end my character's life?

00:21:52.167 --> 00:21:53.667
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like what would happen to me in this world?

00:21:53.667 --> 00:21:54.717
<v Elizabeth Byrd>What would happen to my love?

00:21:54.717 --> 00:22:03.237
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I started to panic and then it got crazier where for however, again, I didn't even really get like visions like this in mushrooms.

00:22:03.237 --> 00:22:04.977
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was always just very present and aware.

00:22:04.977 --> 00:22:09.086
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's like I just saw cool, like kind of energy moving and pulsing, but not like visuals.

00:22:09.086 --> 00:22:14.937
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But I was just crying and closing my eyes so much that I was like in my head that I saw this vision of.

00:22:15.642 --> 00:22:17.832
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like an ant farm or like a beehive.

00:22:17.832 --> 00:22:22.362
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I saw all of us in it, like souls just endlessly trekking through it.

00:22:22.362 --> 00:22:35.142
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And there was like this leader at the top, this beautiful, amazing, loving leader, like God is painted as I saw it as like this evil entity that was like keeping us trapped here.

00:22:35.292 --> 00:22:36.312
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And that really scared me.

00:22:36.312 --> 00:22:46.092
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I saw it as the cycle of reincarnation and how oh, all of a sudden all this stuff about Dolores Cannon and past lives, you earth is a school and you're coming back and you're learning and it's amazing.

00:22:46.511 --> 00:22:46.842
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Now.

00:22:46.842 --> 00:22:49.662
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm like, wait, past lives seems to be a trap.

00:22:49.662 --> 00:22:50.892
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like, we're stuck here.

00:22:51.192 --> 00:22:52.422
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Do we ever get out?

00:22:52.422 --> 00:22:53.322
<v Elizabeth Byrd>What's the point?

00:22:53.322 --> 00:22:59.422
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I just, existential type questions started hitting me to the point where I even like relapsed with weed and nicotine.

00:22:59.422 --> 00:23:06.052
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I had just quit like a couple weeks before, which, relapse was common for me back then still, but I was just like, none of it matters.

00:23:06.412 --> 00:23:12.981
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I, I don't know, I had to pick up the pieces for a couple weeks there, where I was just a little like confused on everything.

00:23:13.567 --> 00:23:20.447
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it was around that same time, I was led to this book called A Course in Miracles, which I dunno if you've heard of it at all.

00:23:20.477 --> 00:23:23.356
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I think, I think it's beneficial for people to start learning about it.

00:23:23.356 --> 00:23:24.797
<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause I didn't talk about it openly.

00:23:25.076 --> 00:23:27.957
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I kind of like have my insights, but I don't share where I get them from.

00:23:27.957 --> 00:23:28.646
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so I'm like, you know what?

00:23:28.646 --> 00:23:31.606
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's time to start leaving the, citing the source.

00:23:31.657 --> 00:23:40.807
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Of course, the Miracles is basically a physical text that supposedly is channeled by Jesus through a woman named Helen Shukman.

00:23:41.197 --> 00:23:46.987
<v Elizabeth Byrd>The story goes that Jesus knew Helen in her past life when he was incarnated as Jesus of Nazareth.

00:23:46.987 --> 00:23:50.287
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And they, and she, I think, was even a scribe in that lifetime.

00:23:50.346 --> 00:23:56.407
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so they made a soul contract because probably in real time, Jesus was seeing how people were misunderstanding his message.

00:23:56.407 --> 00:23:57.876
<v Elizabeth Byrd>They were like, they're not getting it.

00:23:57.876 --> 00:23:58.927
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like this is way over their head.

00:23:58.987 --> 00:24:00.876
<v Elizabeth Byrd>He said it to the disciples, he said it to the masses.

00:24:00.876 --> 00:24:02.977
<v Elizabeth Byrd>You guys are not ready for what I have to say.

00:24:02.977 --> 00:24:06.096
<v Elizabeth Byrd>There's so much more that I need to tell you, but like you are not ready for it.

00:24:06.457 --> 00:24:08.167
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so he's like, all right.

00:24:08.487 --> 00:24:12.777
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Whatever her name was in that life, he was like, we're gonna make a deal in a couple lifetimes.

00:24:12.777 --> 00:24:19.136
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm gonna come back and you're gonna help me scribe out a corrected version of my teachings because they're gonna totally mess this up.

00:24:19.136 --> 00:24:19.227
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And.

00:24:20.782 --> 00:24:22.461
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So that's kinda how the story went.

00:24:22.461 --> 00:24:30.302
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Now, Helen, in that lifetime that she wrote this book, it was the 1970s and she was a psychoanalyst or a psychologist of some kind.

00:24:30.302 --> 00:24:34.112
<v Elizabeth Byrd>She was raised a Jew and atheist at the time as an adult.

00:24:34.112 --> 00:24:36.542
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So she had no relationship with Jesus at all.

00:24:36.542 --> 00:24:43.951
<v Elizabeth Byrd>She was like Jesus, who Jesus did tell her, Hey, this isn't exactly the lifetime that I picked out, but we need to speed things along.

00:24:43.951 --> 00:24:48.362
<v Elizabeth Byrd>He probably saw that window with like the hippie movement and collective rising a little bit and opening up.

00:24:48.542 --> 00:24:51.542
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So he's like, we're gonna come in a little early and we're gonna get this through.

00:24:51.542 --> 00:24:55.802
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So she was very uncomfortable with the stuff that was coming through her, but she wrote it down anyways.

00:24:55.802 --> 00:24:58.832
<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause she just knew in her soul, like this was a part of her path.

00:24:58.832 --> 00:25:02.162
<v Elizabeth Byrd>This was a part of an agreement she had made and she knew it was gonna be important.

00:25:02.162 --> 00:25:05.642
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So literally, Helen did not even live according to the core.

00:25:05.692 --> 00:25:07.162
<v Elizabeth Byrd>She's like, I'm simply a vessel.

00:25:07.162 --> 00:25:09.862
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I am simply a servant of God right here, right now.

00:25:10.162 --> 00:25:23.021
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And the book itself is really just an undoing of the ego's thought systems, and it's a recognition of the fact that this reality is an illusion, a dream like that none of it is real.

00:25:23.021 --> 00:25:26.562
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And that, your body is just a tool for communication and nothing more.

00:25:26.562 --> 00:25:40.481
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It has no actual value beyond this illusion that we are all collectively, the sonship is what they call us, like the one and only son of God, that every single person is your brother, and that God loves you unconditionally.

00:25:40.481 --> 00:25:42.491
<v Elizabeth Byrd>That sin is an illusion.

00:25:42.592 --> 00:25:54.932
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's, pointing to mistakes, but those can always be corrected through the Holy Spirit, which is what God uses as a bridge to connect to us because God, and, sorry, one more thing, that this reality was not created by God at all.

00:25:55.172 --> 00:26:01.981
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Now this is where, of course the miracles differs with G narcissism and what I saw even in my own vision of.

00:26:02.386 --> 00:26:06.677
<v Elizabeth Byrd>This reality being created by a false God and that reincarnation is his trap.

00:26:07.037 --> 00:26:10.126
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Of course, the miracles doesn't answer a lot of those like theories.

00:26:10.126 --> 00:26:11.836
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's very, again, just spiritual.

00:26:11.836 --> 00:26:12.826
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's a practice.

00:26:12.826 --> 00:26:22.096
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's something that you read that to me, what the way I describe it is it goes through a back door where like let's say you have your conscious mind is you're reading it.

00:26:22.096 --> 00:26:24.167
<v Elizabeth Byrd>You're not necessarily like understanding it.

00:26:24.167 --> 00:26:36.227
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's written in this very repetitive manner, but it's meant to go like beyond your ego directly to your subconscious, to like literally re-pattern your thinking and your belief systems to being Christlike.

00:26:36.317 --> 00:26:37.217
<v Elizabeth Byrd>To me, that's what it is.

00:26:37.217 --> 00:26:49.707
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like you're basically being brainwashed to becoming like Christ and that's now that we're realizing how important limiting beliefs are, how affirmations are important, like all these things and how they influence our reality, I'm like, yeah, this book is literally doing that.

00:26:49.707 --> 00:26:53.187
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And there's even a workbook page for every day of the year that you can follow.

00:26:53.247 --> 00:26:54.777
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And there's a text and there's a teach.

00:26:54.826 --> 00:26:56.027
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's very in depth.

00:26:56.027 --> 00:26:58.427
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like honestly, no human could have made that up.

00:26:58.427 --> 00:26:59.027
<v Elizabeth Byrd>That's where I'm at.

00:26:59.027 --> 00:27:02.957
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm like, nobody could have sat down and just like made this up.

00:27:02.957 --> 00:27:06.047
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like this is coming from a higher frequency for sure.

00:27:06.237 --> 00:27:12.146
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It does contradict some of the biblical teachings of like, obviously it's saying Christ is something we can attain.

00:27:12.146 --> 00:27:16.856
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's talking about Christ's consciousness, but I think it aligns with Jesus just not religion.

00:27:16.856 --> 00:27:17.157
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Right.

00:27:17.157 --> 00:27:19.096
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so, so that book I had.

00:27:20.192 --> 00:27:26.342
<v Elizabeth Byrd>like basically gotten it when I had that Shroom trip and it was like literally sitting on my counter and I was like looking at it and I'm like angry.

00:27:26.372 --> 00:27:29.731
<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause I'd only read a few pages and it did talk about like a heavenly loving father.

00:27:29.731 --> 00:27:31.172
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I'm like, are you lying to me?

00:27:31.172 --> 00:27:33.782
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like what I just saw is not a loving father.

00:27:33.782 --> 00:27:35.132
<v Elizabeth Byrd>What is real right now?

00:27:35.132 --> 00:27:35.912
<v Elizabeth Byrd>What's happening?

00:27:36.062 --> 00:27:43.132
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But for whatever reason, I just knew I was meant to read that book, the timing of this all happening like together, that I already had this in my hands.

00:27:43.282 --> 00:27:46.761
<v Elizabeth Byrd>When that experience happened, I was like, okay, something is here for me.

00:27:46.882 --> 00:27:50.332
Chapter five, healing Jesus and remembering the light.

00:27:50.376 --> 00:27:50.407
Okay.

00:27:51.007 --> 00:27:53.287
Liz's story doesn't end in the darkness.

00:27:53.376 --> 00:28:03.366
Slowly through relationship writing and divine synchronicity, Liz found her way back to God, not the one from her childhood, but the God she met in stillness.

00:28:03.517 --> 00:28:06.072
The one who stayed when everything else fell away.

00:28:11.126 --> 00:28:16.167
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so I started reading it and that's when it confirmed that this world was not created by God.

00:28:16.167 --> 00:28:17.007
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I'm like, okay.

00:28:17.427 --> 00:28:19.076
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So that much I can say is true.

00:28:19.287 --> 00:28:22.527
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Whether it was a myth creation on our own behalf.

00:28:22.557 --> 00:28:26.807
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like we are, let's say we have more creative ability than we've even understood.

00:28:26.807 --> 00:28:44.917
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Let's say we are this collective son of God and we have been given the gift of creation, it is possible that we miscreated this reality as like, the way the course described it is a tiny, mad idea entered the mind of the sonship, where it thought, what could it be like to be separate from God, which is impossible.

00:28:45.096 --> 00:28:51.457
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So we created this like fake reality to where we could experience what it might be like to be separate from God.

00:28:51.727 --> 00:28:53.106
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's not real at all.

00:28:53.106 --> 00:28:54.277
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's like a bad dream.

00:28:54.366 --> 00:28:58.777
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so when you wake up out of a bad dream, you're like, man, like, oh, I don't know what I was doing, what was happening?

00:28:58.866 --> 00:29:02.826
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then 30 minutes later you forget about it and it's, it's be, it's past you, right?

00:29:03.007 --> 00:29:07.927
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So that's how they des, that's how Jesus and God talk about this reality.

00:29:07.927 --> 00:29:14.136
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's kind of like one bad dream, where we're, we think we're separate from God, but that's a false delusion.

00:29:14.136 --> 00:29:17.407
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And the ego was sort of created within the reality.

00:29:17.407 --> 00:29:20.287
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So it took form and it started to grow and it started to seep.

00:29:20.586 --> 00:29:22.417
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so that's how they paint it.

00:29:22.596 --> 00:29:29.626
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Which one thing I do like about it is that it gives us the accountability, We are not victims of something outside of ourselves.

00:29:29.626 --> 00:29:31.247
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It's something that we can correct.

00:29:32.177 --> 00:29:32.687
<v Elizabeth Byrd>ourselves.

00:29:32.687 --> 00:29:33.017
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Right?

00:29:33.076 --> 00:29:34.277
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I started reading that.

00:29:34.277 --> 00:29:39.257
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was getting into it for a while and then I slowly started to share more on Instagram about my journey.

00:29:39.386 --> 00:29:40.947
<v Elizabeth Byrd>My past, my background.

00:29:41.247 --> 00:29:44.697
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And this was the first time I was being vulnerable like this on Instagram.

00:29:45.177 --> 00:29:49.557
<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause at the time, most of my followers were still people from my culture, my community, people who knew me since I was a child.

00:29:49.557 --> 00:29:52.527
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was sharing about smoking my past, like all these things, right?

00:29:52.527 --> 00:29:55.767
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And a lot of people did resonate though, and they were like, wow, you're so brave for sharing.

00:29:55.767 --> 00:29:57.297
<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause we have a very judgmental culture.

00:29:57.297 --> 00:29:58.826
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And they were like, this is amazing.

00:29:58.826 --> 00:29:59.937
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I didn't know you even went through this.

00:29:59.937 --> 00:30:02.187
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then I get to the end where it was my take on Jesus.

00:30:02.187 --> 00:30:04.167
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was like, look, I left God all together.

00:30:04.467 --> 00:30:06.567
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I came back, but it was different.

00:30:06.567 --> 00:30:14.197
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It was more in the new age, but now I'm like reconnecting with Jesus and I'm in this place where I don't know, but I feel like there's more to the story.

00:30:14.257 --> 00:30:18.727
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And there was this one girl who I didn't know personally, but she related so much she's like, oh my gosh, me too.

00:30:18.727 --> 00:30:19.447
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Oh my gosh, yes.

00:30:19.447 --> 00:30:19.717
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Same.

00:30:19.717 --> 00:30:27.277
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I went through something so similar and then we get to the Jesus part at the very end and she's oh, actually, like I was also in the new age for a little bit.

00:30:27.757 --> 00:30:33.247
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was raised Catholic, went into the new age and then I realized, oh, Protestantism is actually, who has the right answer?

00:30:33.247 --> 00:30:35.616
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like Sola Scriptura, the Bible's immaculate.

00:30:35.797 --> 00:30:36.846
<v Elizabeth Byrd>The Catholics had it wrong.

00:30:36.846 --> 00:30:39.606
<v Elizabeth Byrd>That's where I was mistaken and, and the Bible is immaculate.

00:30:39.757 --> 00:30:41.977
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I would love to have a conversation with you about it.

00:30:41.977 --> 00:30:43.717
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was like, okay.

00:30:43.717 --> 00:30:44.047
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Sure.

00:30:44.047 --> 00:30:44.616
<v Elizabeth Byrd>She was cool.

00:30:44.616 --> 00:30:46.507
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I liked her, so I was like, whatever, let's do it.

00:30:46.557 --> 00:30:49.076
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I was nervous because, Christians can be so confident.

00:30:49.076 --> 00:30:50.487
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I know they have all the backing.

00:30:50.487 --> 00:30:55.707
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I know they have all the data and the research and the evidence it's all kind of like, a lot of it is still like speculative.

00:30:55.707 --> 00:30:58.677
<v Elizabeth Byrd>They'll pull from the scholars that are like biased, and all that stuff.

00:30:58.677 --> 00:31:04.917
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But nonetheless, she was very smart, very intelligent, and very confident in the fact that the Bible is a hundred percent immaculate.

00:31:04.917 --> 00:31:06.057
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I was like, okay.

00:31:06.987 --> 00:31:13.527
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I was kinda going back and forth with her and honestly it brought me to my knees where I was like, God, like.

00:31:13.977 --> 00:31:17.937
<v Elizabeth Byrd>If I am wrong, if the Bible's a hundred percent true, stop me.

00:31:17.937 --> 00:31:20.757
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like right now, show me clearly, please God.

00:31:20.757 --> 00:31:24.177
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Reveal it to me because I do not want to be sharing about my story.

00:31:24.177 --> 00:31:26.157
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I do not wanna be leading people astray.

00:31:26.336 --> 00:31:26.997
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I do not.

00:31:27.027 --> 00:31:27.386
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I am.

00:31:27.626 --> 00:31:29.876
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I humbly asking you, please correct me.

00:31:29.977 --> 00:31:32.977
<v Elizabeth Byrd>If the Bible's a hundred percent immaculate, I will turn back.

00:31:32.977 --> 00:31:33.787
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I will change.

00:31:33.787 --> 00:31:34.777
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I will give it all up.

00:31:35.126 --> 00:31:36.116
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Just show me now.

00:31:36.477 --> 00:31:43.167
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And over the next few days, we continued our conversation and that's when I landed on some verse from the gospel of Thomas.

00:31:43.167 --> 00:31:43.917
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I'm like reading it.

00:31:43.917 --> 00:31:44.907
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm like, oh, this is beautiful.

00:31:44.907 --> 00:31:46.197
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then I'm like, gospel of Thomas.

00:31:46.197 --> 00:31:47.937
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm like, that doesn't sound familiar.

00:31:47.937 --> 00:31:49.227
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Why isn't this in the Bible?

00:31:49.287 --> 00:31:54.366
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And then that led me on a little deep dive of the Gnostic gospels and how there was all these.

00:31:54.527 --> 00:31:56.836
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Texts that were not included in the Bible.

00:31:56.836 --> 00:31:58.037
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I'm like, why?

00:31:58.247 --> 00:32:08.457
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And particularly with the Gnostic gospel of Thomas, I think it's like the one that they conclude is not technically gnostic in nature, but for whatever reason got grouped with that.

00:32:08.727 --> 00:32:11.727
<v Elizabeth Byrd>They say it just didn't confirm the narrative that they were trying to push.

00:32:11.727 --> 00:32:15.596
<v Elizabeth Byrd>There was a lot of the kingdom being within, a lot of going within, things like that.

00:32:15.596 --> 00:32:19.197
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And, not needing a church, not needing somebody outside of you to connect to God.

00:32:19.257 --> 00:32:27.807
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so they just didn't include it, and so if anything, this girl in her attempt to prove to me that the Bible's a hundred percent immaculate, I felt like led me to the conclusion that.

00:32:28.787 --> 00:32:43.366
<v Elizabeth Byrd>isn't true at all, that there was things that were cherry picked and not put in to serve a certain narrative, which is always what I intuitively felt because I had tried to read the Bible over the years, through my spiritual journey, and every time I'd open it up, I would just hear, man, I'm like, I know God.

00:32:43.366 --> 00:32:44.567
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like God's my bestie.

00:32:44.596 --> 00:32:47.086
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like I know that guy and that's not him.

00:32:47.136 --> 00:32:48.157
<v Elizabeth Byrd>That's not God.

00:32:48.157 --> 00:32:51.967
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Favoritism, specialness, division war.

00:32:51.967 --> 00:32:54.457
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm like, yeah, I don't, I don't see that as God.

00:32:54.457 --> 00:32:54.846
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I'm sorry.

00:32:54.846 --> 00:33:20.527
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like you can't convince me that's the almighty, unconditional loving God that Jesus taught about, and I went off the deep end on narcissism, and if anybody doesn't know what gnostics believe, I'll give a little brief interim that they basically have a completely different cosmology and it's their texts that were discovered in Nama Egypt in the 1940s Jesus was teaching his disciples secret teachings, and that's what was recorded and considered these gnostic texts.

00:33:20.527 --> 00:33:24.336
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And in them, Jesus reveals a very different cosmology of.

00:33:24.677 --> 00:33:26.927
<v Elizabeth Byrd>There being an unknowable true source.

00:33:26.927 --> 00:33:31.037
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And he decided to start creating other beings called eons or aons.

00:33:31.037 --> 00:33:35.907
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And, they all resided in this beautiful realm called the pl Roma, which is the fullness of God.

00:33:35.907 --> 00:33:37.136
<v Elizabeth Byrd>This is all mythology, right?

00:33:37.136 --> 00:33:38.817
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it was all these beautiful beings.

00:33:38.817 --> 00:33:44.547
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And there was one being called Sophia or wisdom, a feminine being who fell from the pl Roma.

00:33:44.606 --> 00:33:46.197
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And she started to misc create.

00:33:46.407 --> 00:33:53.997
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And out of that was born Yba or the demi urge, or what they consider to be Yahweh, the God of the Old Testament.

00:33:54.297 --> 00:33:58.047
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And Yahweh didn't know about the Oma, he didn't know that there were all these other beings.

00:33:58.047 --> 00:33:59.366
<v Elizabeth Byrd>He just knew his mother.

00:33:59.557 --> 00:34:02.467
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And he started creating these beings called Aons.

00:34:02.467 --> 00:34:05.106
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Kind of like what Christians might think of like as demons, right?

00:34:05.157 --> 00:34:09.567
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And they created this material world and they also created our material bodies.

00:34:09.836 --> 00:34:13.226
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But Sophia prayed to God, she asked for forgiveness.

00:34:13.286 --> 00:34:18.836
<v Elizabeth Byrd>The whole story was that she created without a consort, without her masculine counterpart.

00:34:18.836 --> 00:34:23.007
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so what came out was sort of like a distortion of the natural order of things.

00:34:23.376 --> 00:34:28.146
<v Elizabeth Byrd>There's a lot of questions that are still left with this theory, so I'm just explaining what their cosmology is.

00:34:28.507 --> 00:34:32.586
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so then after Yda Bows created this world, Sophia.

00:34:32.586 --> 00:34:40.226
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And God, the true heavenly father God, breathed his divine spirit into the body that they had created and gave it life.

00:34:40.226 --> 00:34:41.516
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And that was Adamis, right?

00:34:41.516 --> 00:34:43.197
<v Elizabeth Byrd>The, the first human, the first man.

00:34:43.467 --> 00:34:46.527
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it was through that breath that it animated that man.

00:34:46.606 --> 00:34:53.116
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And basically Yaba got so mad that now this being that he created was more powerful than he was.

00:34:53.116 --> 00:34:55.726
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And he didn't even know that there was other gods.

00:34:55.726 --> 00:35:03.027
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so from that point on, basically these rulers have sought out to suppress and snuff out this divine spark that's within us.

00:35:03.027 --> 00:35:11.407
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So that's how the story goes now, it was interesting and it answered some questions for me of okay, like this reality wasn't created by God.

00:35:12.106 --> 00:35:14.896
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Maybe it is this demi urge and what does that mean for us?

00:35:14.896 --> 00:35:23.746
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And you look at society and you, so you look at the systems in play and the elites and all the theories of reptilians The Vatican and you're like, okay, like, well, what is that?

00:35:23.746 --> 00:35:27.036
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Because personally I'm not big on the devil's out to get me.

00:35:27.036 --> 00:35:28.507
<v Elizabeth Byrd>The enemy is out to get me.

00:35:28.507 --> 00:35:31.507
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I didn't buy into the whole Satan story very much at all.

00:35:31.507 --> 00:35:34.797
<v Elizabeth Byrd>For whatever reason, I don't judge people who do, like, I get where that comes from.

00:35:34.797 --> 00:35:40.166
<v Elizabeth Byrd>But to me, I was more on that new age belief of it's all a school and everything is serving you.

00:35:40.166 --> 00:35:44.736
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Even the negative, even the darkness, is the contrast for the light, right?

00:35:44.736 --> 00:35:54.746
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so where I'm at now, I have these two texts that give me more insight on Jesus they do have similarities, but they also have contradictions.

00:35:55.047 --> 00:36:00.567
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I can't say that I've come to a conclusion on what I think is truly true.

00:36:00.956 --> 00:36:10.676
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I do think this reality is an illusion, but whether or not it's wrong because even recently, looking into the etymology of matrix and it means mother or womb.

00:36:10.736 --> 00:36:14.786
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And, the Seen Gospel of Peace is another really beautiful text that changed my life.

00:36:14.786 --> 00:36:18.086
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it paints the earthly mother as an aspect of God.

00:36:18.086 --> 00:36:25.656
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And that this world and being in alignment with divine law and living in accordance with nature and its rhythms, that is what connects us to God.

00:36:25.656 --> 00:36:30.006
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it's just as important as prayer and meditation and all those other things, right?

00:36:30.036 --> 00:36:35.166
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And that also is supposedly a gospel of Jesus' that was lost and was found.

00:36:35.166 --> 00:36:35.406
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And.

00:36:35.876 --> 00:36:38.966
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I do believe it's possible he taught different things to different groups.

00:36:38.966 --> 00:36:44.156
<v Elizabeth Byrd>There's that likelihood that, I mean, if I had 12 friends, I'm not gonna tell each and every one of them the same thing.

00:36:44.186 --> 00:36:44.486
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Right?

00:36:44.486 --> 00:36:50.516
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Like, I'm gonna tell you something'cause I know I can trust you with that, but you're not quite ready to hear this about me, so we're gonna keep it over here.

00:36:50.516 --> 00:36:50.756
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Right?

00:36:50.766 --> 00:36:53.616
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I don't know, historically, that's why I don't care about historical evidence.

00:36:53.616 --> 00:36:57.186
<v Elizabeth Byrd>'cause I'm like, Jesus is like the Christ, like it's alive and well.

00:36:57.186 --> 00:37:04.567
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And it's here in our reality and it's playing its role and he didn't just die at the cross and then leave and he's just like kicking back and watching.

00:37:04.567 --> 00:37:08.746
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I believe he's actively here as a guide, as a master, leading us.

00:37:08.746 --> 00:37:15.706
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And so I have a theory, like a speculation of how Gnostics talk about the demi urge.

00:37:15.706 --> 00:37:17.206
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Is this mis creation?

00:37:17.656 --> 00:37:19.876
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I wonder if we are the demi urge.

00:37:19.926 --> 00:37:26.506
<v Elizabeth Byrd>I it's not fully developed, but I sometimes wonder if we are that ignorant being that fell and split itself off.

00:37:26.936 --> 00:37:38.156
<v Elizabeth Byrd>There's all this, stories and myths about like, trying to make sense of what's happening, but God and like Jesus are trying to reclaim us back into this holy family, this Paloma no, like we, we love and accept you.

00:37:38.156 --> 00:37:47.366
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Even if we were maybe somehow miscreated out of ignorance or maybe that's not true, maybe God can't WeCreate, That's the whole thing within narcissism that I don't fully understand is.

00:37:48.181 --> 00:37:51.731
<v Elizabeth Byrd>talks about God as incapable of mis creating this perfect being.

00:37:51.731 --> 00:37:53.051
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And same in the Course of Miracles.

00:37:53.051 --> 00:37:57.221
<v Elizabeth Byrd>It says God is not able to create imperfection, so this world cannot be of God.

00:37:57.521 --> 00:38:01.871
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So I'm like, but then God allowed Sophia to fall and God allowed this being to be created.

00:38:01.871 --> 00:38:07.061
<v Elizabeth Byrd>Or is it just free Will he gave free will to these beings and then they are able of making mistakes.

00:38:07.271 --> 00:38:08.111
<v Elizabeth Byrd>So that's where I'm at.

00:38:08.111 --> 00:38:16.721
<v Elizabeth Byrd>And I know that was a really long journey, but that brings in the narcissism how I got there, where I'm at currently, and trying to figure that all out.

00:38:17.615 --> 00:38:22.715
We hope you enjoyed hearing Liz's personal story and the powerful way her spiritual journey unfolded.

00:38:23.360 --> 00:38:31.730
From her Slavic Christian roots through profound inner exploration with psychedelics and ultimately toward a renewed and deeply personal connection with Jesus.

00:38:32.300 --> 00:38:43.460
If you feel called to explore plant medicines or psychedelics as part of your healing or spiritual path, please do so responsibly with a licensed therapist or trained facilitator in a legal and safe setting.

00:38:44.181 --> 00:38:52.550
We hope today's episode invites you to stay curious, stay grounded, and keep reaching for that divine connection in whatever form it reveals itself to you.

00:38:53.270 --> 00:39:02.900
And be sure to join us next week as we continue our conversation with Liz as we discuss gnostic texts, expanding our Christian and spiritual perspectives, and much more.

00:39:03.140 --> 00:39:03.890
Until next time.