Navigating Life's Toughest Storms: Evely Raudmets' Guide to Neuro-encoding and Veteran Resilience

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When life throws its hardest punches, how do you dodge and weave to not just survive, but thrive? The remarkable Evely Raudmets, a neuro-encoding coach with a personal history of overcoming intense emotional battles, joins us to share her arsenal of methods for harnessing the mind's power. Through her own story of heartache and resilience, including the devastating loss of family and her daughter's health crisis, Evely illustrates how neuro-encoding is a lifeline for veterans transitioning back into civilian life. Her insights shine a light on the intricate dance between the roles of parenting, leadership, and military service, and the critical importance of self-love and mastery over one's inner critic.

This episode is a treasure trove of tangible strategies for anyone grappling with anxiety or seeking to deepen their practice of gratitude. Imagine being able to soothe your nervous system with something as simple as a baby's breath or triggering a heart-calming psychological sigh. Evely walks us through these techniques and more, showing how to create calming anchors with physical gestures and celebrate personal victories however small. For veterans, she provides sage advice on setting healthy boundaries when discussing their service and engaging in practices like the mirror exercise for emotional healing and self-reflection. Join us for an inspiring journey into the transformative power of neuro-encoding, where self-mastery and peace are truly within reach.

Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.

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2024-05-24 33 min Transcript 3 chapters

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WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post deployment life.

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<v Speaker 1>Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.

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<v Speaker 1>Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, hello, hello everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>So we have a return guest.

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<v Speaker 2>Super excited, we have Emily Rodnitz on here and I just want everybody to know we're both smiling because I practiced her name like I don't know how many times now.

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<v Speaker 2>So it has been and like every time you're going to come on, like the day before I'm sitting here neuro-encoding myself and conditioning myself to be good with it.

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<v Speaker 2>So Emily is an elite neuro-encoding coach and speaker.

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<v Speaker 2>She specializes in guiding tech leaders to self-mastery.

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<v Speaker 2>She's a peak performance specialist.

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<v Speaker 2>Her father served in the Army and her grandfather fought World war ii and we had an amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>If you guys haven't seen it, go back, watch the other one.

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<v Speaker 2>It was.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just an amazing podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh, it was a treat.

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<v Speaker 3>So, emily, thank you for being on and tell us a little bit more about yourself thank you for having me back and and yes, last time was a blast, it was fun About me.

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<v Speaker 3>So last time I shared about and as you kindly shared, that my dad was in the army and my grandfather was in the World War II.

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<v Speaker 3>I have not served in the army, however.

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<v Speaker 3>I am a mom of three so it kind of feels sometimes, you know, being pushed to my boundaries and I think being a leader well, being a mom or a dad is the most challenging leader position you can have right To guide and lead those little people.

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<v Speaker 3>So a little bit about myself as the leader type.

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<v Speaker 3>A little bit about myself as the leader type.

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<v Speaker 3>I've worked in managerial positions, been a leader, product development, marketing, sales, everything.

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<v Speaker 3>So the leader type resonates with me and there are challenges, as in the army they might show up as well, like the domineering personality types and like closed personalities usually and after seeing trauma and like a lot of responsibilities.

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<v Speaker 3>Neuroencoding has been my key path to serving myself, my kids and I guess that's why we're here today to talk about that right absolutely, absolutely so.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh, thank you for sharing that.

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, uh, and I think for for both of us, neuroencoding really has impacted our lives dramatically, compared to you know where we were before and how we use it every day still.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you talk a little bit about that?

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<v Speaker 3>so, um, my, my, when I was in survival mode and my world was coming to an end, so to say, my mom was dying and and I just lost my grandmother who raised me and my daughter was diagnosed like severely ill I just I just lost it and, as luck would have it, or or divine intervention, or I don't know what to call it neuroencoding was introduced to me and just my gut said that I get to grab it, what's been given, and put it to use.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I did, and thanks to that, I was able to pull myself out of what I would now really call living hell, because of the loved ones dying, fear of loss of a child and not sleeping with little.

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<v Speaker 3>It was, it was, it was like being in war, for me at least.

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<v Speaker 3>And uh, not only that, well, I wasn't able to save my mom, but I was able to coach and guide my daughter back to health.

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<v Speaker 3>So, thanks to those two those two, so I can't hear you.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you?

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<v Speaker 3>hear me now.

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<v Speaker 3>Now I can, now I can.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>What were some of the things that helped with your daughter.

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<v Speaker 2>If you don't mind me, jens, just kind of going that route.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep.

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<v Speaker 3>So silencing the inner critic, I think, is the key, like the voice in our head, depending on you know how we grow up and what happens to us in our lifetime.

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<v Speaker 3>Depending on how we grow up and what happens to us in our lifetime, the neuroencoding tools have helped her silence the inner critic more basically, boosting self-love, self-acceptance and being kinder towards herself.

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<v Speaker 3>Same here, and this belief we have, I think it's trained into us from school already.

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<v Speaker 3>Discipline is good, it's necessary, but it can be unhealthy as well.

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<v Speaker 3>When we start beating ourselves up and like breaking our bodies and willpower and everything demanding too much, being too hard on ourselves, because at one point you're like I'm done with this, like I can't, like you know, I'm tired of beating myself up.

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<v Speaker 3>And then we look elsewhere to silence those things and like my family history has alcoholics in them, so alcoholism runs in my family and I'm really honest, like at one point when I was in my 20s I got scared, like will that be my path as well?

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<v Speaker 3>right from war times and silencing the critic and everything that's that I've seen and witnessed in my life as well, and war times and silencing the critic and everything that I've seen and witnessed in my life as well.

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<v Speaker 3>The neuroencoding tools work wonders.

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<v Speaker 3>We don't need to go for those destructive, silent, pacifying things.

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<v Speaker 3>The neuroencoding, the stop technique being kinder, breaking the pattern of thought, realizing that I am, not my thoughts, and like how our thinking creates how we feel and how we show up in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, so thank you for sharing that.

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<v Speaker 2>So, with your daughter specifically, were there certain?

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<v Speaker 2>And share this, if you're OK with it, of course, and if you're not, I respect that as well.

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<v Speaker 2>How old is your daughter now?

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<v Speaker 3>She's going to be 18 now.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so you've been through the parenting cycle, so congratulations.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you, it's been an honor.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's celebrate.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's celebrate.

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<v Speaker 2>So can we talk about maybe some of those techniques that you use with your daughter, that we use in all of our coaching practices neurocoding specialists and we talk about because that was going to be our focus today.

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<v Speaker 2>Can we talk about some of those techniques and we could even use an example?

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<v Speaker 2>Possibly, if you're okay with it, I'll throw you under the bus and I'll just show you an example and you can give me a technique that we use you use specifically.

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<v Speaker 2>How does that sound?

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<v Speaker 2>Sure, yeah, awesome.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, let me think of something.

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<v Speaker 2>So a military veteran gets out of the military, comes home, everybody's changed in the household because they they've been separated and everybody has grown in their own ways.

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<v Speaker 2>What is a technique that you would suggest that you could use?

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<v Speaker 2>When you first come back, you're feeling a little anxious, a little overwhelmed.

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<v Speaker 2>Just a thought or the possibility of what that's going to be like before you even actually maybe get home.

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<v Speaker 2>The thoughts because that's why I'm diving into the transition part here the thoughts that that we tell ourselves right, the meaning we give it.

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<v Speaker 2>What are some skills or or activities whatever you want to call them that maybe they could use?

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<v Speaker 3>everything.

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<v Speaker 3>Great question and great example.

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<v Speaker 3>Everything begins in with intent and in neurocoding we call it what do you want?

00:08:31.346 --> 00:08:44.163
<v Speaker 3>Because where our focus goes, our energy flows and usually well, especially trauma responses, and because the brain is focused on negative things to keep us surviving alive.

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<v Speaker 3>So we're used to saying what we don't want.

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<v Speaker 3>But the key thing is when you're returning home.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, we know connection is important, but regulating yourself as well.

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<v Speaker 3>But everything begins from what do I want when I get home, like who's visual, to visualize how you would like things to be, how you show up, things to be how you show up, and to get practical, let's say, like you've set the intent, how you want to get home, like how you want to greet people, how you would like the whole scenario to go, and anxiety might pop up right, all kinds of feelings.

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<v Speaker 3>The easiest way to change your state is through physiology, because our thoughts create our feelings and feelings are created in the body and when we feel them, they're there.

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<v Speaker 3>So the easiest way is to get out of the body, like break that pattern, and that's usually done by changing your body position rapidly, like you could jump up and down if you're sitting, jump up fast, and usually, then we do the power pose like superman, superwoman just like look up because we feel our body in a good way could you do the superman pose.

00:10:03.441 --> 00:10:04.941
<v Speaker 2>We pause just for a second there.

00:10:04.961 --> 00:10:12.024
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so you stretch your arms out, shoulders back stretch, look up, put a smile on your face.

00:10:12.024 --> 00:10:18.549
<v Speaker 3>There are so many muscles in the face that tell your body like that face is smiling.

00:10:18.549 --> 00:10:20.986
<v Speaker 3>You better listen Through the vagus nerve.

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<v Speaker 3>It's going to like an order to your gut make those happy chemicals now happy hormones.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's what you do before you enter that room, enter the door.

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<v Speaker 3>Confidence from that pose 25% boost in testosterone.

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<v Speaker 3>When you push your shoulders back like that, you're more confident, meaning settled in in, relaxed, aligned with yourself.

00:10:42.924 --> 00:10:48.856
<v Speaker 3>And then the smile and you show up as you I would like to say I love that.

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<v Speaker 3>I love that because it's and I just this is like something neuro encoding is all about, like the neurochemicals and how you guide yourself, but this trick, this is.

00:11:00.288 --> 00:11:01.770
<v Speaker 3>I just want to share this as well.

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<v Speaker 3>I believe every listener has this thing nowadays, right?

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<v Speaker 3>So before let's say you integrate or go back, you take the thing and you open up YouTube, for instance, and you do look at those adorable cat or dog videos, or if you have videos of your kids, if you're a dad, for example, or a mom, you just look at them before you go in as well, because that's going to release oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in your body and the way you show up then, and that's good for even if you're returning from the office or from work at the end of the day.

00:11:37.322 --> 00:11:38.566
<v Speaker 2>So, yeah, I love that.

00:11:38.566 --> 00:11:40.048
<v Speaker 2>I love that.

00:11:40.048 --> 00:11:43.797
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, I have not thought about that.

00:11:43.797 --> 00:11:44.899
<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic.

00:11:45.745 --> 00:11:48.530
<v Speaker 3>And business meetings when you look at those before a business meeting.

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<v Speaker 3>You show up so powerfully to a meeting that's fantastic or loving.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's one of the best tips I've heard on the show so far.

00:11:57.874 --> 00:11:59.015
<v Speaker 2>That's really good.

00:11:59.397 --> 00:12:02.350
<v Speaker 3>I'll take that yeah hey, please do.

00:12:03.653 --> 00:12:04.294
<v Speaker 2>There's a reason.

00:12:04.294 --> 00:12:06.407
<v Speaker 2>We have Emily on this show, ladies and gentlemen.

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<v Speaker 2>So thank you.

00:12:09.152 --> 00:12:19.388
<v Speaker 2>So you walk through the door, anxiety is picking in a little bit after a couple of minutes because you just listened and watched the little you know kitties or whatever.

00:12:19.388 --> 00:12:24.538
<v Speaker 2>So you walk through and you feel that creeping in a little bit.

00:12:24.538 --> 00:12:28.519
<v Speaker 2>What, what, what would you suggest at that point?

00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:30.245
<v Speaker 2>I'm kind of just walking through a scenario.

00:12:30.245 --> 00:12:40.149
<v Speaker 2>You know you walk back into the door, you know you're feeling good and then all of a sudden you start feeling your mind starts going and you start feeling that anxiety or something a little bit.

00:12:40.490 --> 00:12:41.010
<v Speaker 2>What could you do?

00:12:44.234 --> 00:12:47.017
<v Speaker 3>now scientifically breathing.

00:12:47.017 --> 00:12:55.197
<v Speaker 3>I think a lot of soldiers and veterans know about the box breath, box breathing right four seconds in four seconds.

00:12:55.197 --> 00:12:57.085
<v Speaker 3>But I have even something more efficient.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the most efficient, scientifically neuroscience proven breathing technique.

00:13:02.518 --> 00:13:04.028
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to explain it.

00:13:04.028 --> 00:13:09.019
<v Speaker 3>So you, you, you do this effective.

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<v Speaker 3>When anxiety or even a panic attack is going to kick in, you do this.

00:13:12.551 --> 00:13:13.735
<v Speaker 3>You breathe in through your nose.

00:13:13.735 --> 00:13:20.775
<v Speaker 3>Do you know what it resonates?

00:13:20.775 --> 00:13:22.597
<v Speaker 3>Like the human, humans who do that?

00:13:22.597 --> 00:13:23.580
<v Speaker 3>It's babies.

00:13:23.580 --> 00:13:30.214
<v Speaker 3>It's like the same thing when they cry, but what it does in the body.

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<v Speaker 3>Because when we, when we get the anxiety or panic starting to creep in our chest closes, it's like we get this closure and it squeezes together the heart and the heart feels that there's lacking space and it starts pounding faster and that's when it feeds into the anxiety.

00:13:49.006 --> 00:13:56.268
<v Speaker 3>But when we breathe in fast, it's the psychological sigh, is the name of the breath, you can google it.

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<v Speaker 3>But when we breathe in twice, then it expands the chest and the diaphragm goes down and heart has more space, so that directly, the fastest path, tells the heart that it's cool, it's everything's calm, you can calm down, fantastic, yeah.

00:14:16.005 --> 00:14:36.748
<v Speaker 2>So I also know that when you're anxious and I'm just going to add on to what you said when you're anxious and pay attention'm just going to add on to what you said when you're anxious and pay attention to your breathing, just a little bit, because almost guaranteed you're not breathing or you're having very shallow breaths in your chest right so, and that closes absolutely everything's closed in.

00:14:36.748 --> 00:14:41.033
<v Speaker 2>Whether you're in just unresourceful state, you guys and anyone listening now or or podcast later when.

00:14:41.033 --> 00:14:49.437
<v Speaker 2>When you're in an unresourceful state, you guys and anyone listening now or or podcasts later, when, when you're in an unresourceful state, anxiety and, you know, anxious, stress any of those places.

00:14:50.587 --> 00:14:55.219
<v Speaker 2>pay attention where your breathing is and and do every exercise first.

00:14:55.219 --> 00:15:05.030
<v Speaker 2>Also pay attention to where your breathing is if it's in your lower part of your stomach, when you see a baby, and they're all relaxed and this is what made me think of it, emily.

00:15:05.030 --> 00:15:06.809
<v Speaker 2>So thank you for sparking something here.

00:15:06.809 --> 00:15:14.135
<v Speaker 2>Co-creation, when you see a baby breathing, where do they breathe?

00:15:14.135 --> 00:15:21.975
<v Speaker 2>Their stomach is going up and down because they're in that relaxed state, so follow that same pattern, just like Emily was bringing up.

00:15:21.975 --> 00:15:24.610
<v Speaker 2>I think that's awesome, so thank you for sharing that.

00:15:25.051 --> 00:15:27.116
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, thank you for adding to it Beautiful.

00:15:27.885 --> 00:15:29.067
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

00:15:29.067 --> 00:15:35.818
<v Speaker 2>So when you get yourself back in the relaxed state, what's the best thing to do?

00:15:35.818 --> 00:15:42.437
<v Speaker 2>Just kind of reinforce I'm good, I'm safe, I'm relaxed, being in myself.

00:15:42.437 --> 00:15:49.269
<v Speaker 2>In that sense, what's a great tool that you would suggest For what?

00:15:49.269 --> 00:15:49.530
<v Speaker 2>Now?

00:15:49.530 --> 00:15:58.235
<v Speaker 2>Sorry for anchoring that in For anchoring, feeling that sensation, because you've kind of reframed, I'm okay now.

00:15:59.153 --> 00:15:59.744
<v Speaker 1>I'm in a good place.

00:16:00.025 --> 00:16:04.629
<v Speaker 2>How do you anchor that so that you can be resourceful and go back to that whenever you want?

00:16:05.491 --> 00:16:14.222
<v Speaker 3>squeeze your fist and say, yes, you know, and you can even pull this pull down gesture, or like you know, because this is the easiest.

00:16:14.222 --> 00:16:20.316
<v Speaker 3>Usually whoever has played sports it's like, yes, right, we're used to doing this, so, yes, just anchor that in.

00:16:20.316 --> 00:16:34.293
<v Speaker 3>And, uh, of course, praise, praise yourself, because whatever you do, the brain like you praise yourself might look silly, but if you do it, your brain's like that was felt good and asks like what preceded that?

00:16:34.293 --> 00:16:37.005
<v Speaker 3>And like you just did something for yourself.

00:16:37.005 --> 00:16:42.916
<v Speaker 3>You showed up different, you showed up the way you wanted and you're gonna nail it in, like anchor it in exactly as you said.

00:16:42.936 --> 00:17:07.926
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, it's fantastic and and always, I'm gonna just share something whenever you okay, my own experience here whenever you are in that place and you celebrate right, and you celebrate everything you possibly celebrate I don't care if it's I walked to the door, I got out of bed, whatever the case may be but if you can celebrate, celebrate I don't care if it's I walked to the door, I got out of bed, whatever the case may be but if you can celebrate, your body's, of course, looking for all those those amazing hormones.

00:17:07.926 --> 00:17:13.679
<v Speaker 2>So when you, when you do that, it just again anchors it in more.

00:17:13.679 --> 00:17:25.461
<v Speaker 2>But what I did for myself is, if I didn't feel it immediately, I got goofy with it, because you'll smile and then that will trigger it in.

00:17:25.461 --> 00:17:28.912
<v Speaker 2>I promise you, as soon as you get you feel it literally.

00:17:28.912 --> 00:17:35.394
<v Speaker 2>Try it right now, everybody, if you're out there listening later.

00:17:35.444 --> 00:17:42.704
<v Speaker 2>So what I'm doing for a podcaster is I'm being goofy, I'm smiling and I'm patting myself on the back, and so is evilly.

00:17:42.704 --> 00:17:46.453
<v Speaker 2>And when you do that, it just releases it and you feel it in your body.

00:17:46.453 --> 00:17:49.329
<v Speaker 2>So I do invite everyone to try it literally now.

00:17:49.329 --> 00:17:59.153
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, if you're you know, take that action, learn the, learn the, the tool, because it's it's a major life kingdom, it's a game changer.

00:17:59.313 --> 00:18:08.512
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this same thing is what's going to silence your inner critic, the yak yak yak that goes in your mind, that always like criticizes and you know, scares you.

00:18:08.512 --> 00:18:10.630
<v Speaker 3>That silences it, yeah.

00:18:11.172 --> 00:18:12.536
<v Speaker 2>Fantastic, yeah, thank you.

00:18:12.536 --> 00:18:19.548
<v Speaker 2>So I totally have no idea what I'm asking next, because I totally got sidetracked with just our amazing conversation.

00:18:19.548 --> 00:18:22.794
<v Speaker 2>So let's go with families, if you will.

00:18:22.794 --> 00:18:25.557
<v Speaker 2>I'm not, I'm just, we're just going to go.

00:18:25.557 --> 00:18:47.405
<v Speaker 2>Forget the questions, we're just going to go so you're the wife, you're the children, if you will, or husband, just depending on you, know, obviously who's coming home and who's already at home and who's already at home.

00:18:47.425 --> 00:18:50.894
<v Speaker 2>So what are some skills that they may use that they're dealing with, kind of the same thing, mom or dad or uncle or whoever's coming home.

00:18:50.894 --> 00:18:57.612
<v Speaker 2>But I'm anxious and I'm so excited, but I'm also a little nervous.

00:18:57.612 --> 00:19:00.238
<v Speaker 2>I'm so excited, but what's in store for us?

00:19:00.238 --> 00:19:03.334
<v Speaker 2>Any other exercises or thoughts?

00:19:03.334 --> 00:19:11.354
<v Speaker 2>And evelina, no, I'm totally throwing you to the bus right now and you, I love that you're just rolling with it, thank you it's the same.

00:19:11.574 --> 00:19:12.115
<v Speaker 3>It's the same.

00:19:12.115 --> 00:19:20.837
<v Speaker 3>You focus on the what you want you remember, like because the remembering is the rewiring process for the brain.

00:19:20.837 --> 00:19:41.308
<v Speaker 3>You love the person who's coming back, otherwise you would you would have changed the locks, let's let's be honest like, but you're like welcoming them back, so you, you get to remember, rewire your brain like and if you have a few hours, just grab this thing here, like you know, and write down all the good memories you have associated.

00:19:41.308 --> 00:19:52.873
<v Speaker 3>It's like just like everything you remember that's good with them, like you rewire it back, like it resurfaces the good hormones and the love and bonding hormones for you.

00:19:52.873 --> 00:20:03.049
<v Speaker 3>And it's like when you do that rewiring and they enter the door, it's like time passed but it really didn't, and you know you show up differently.

00:20:03.631 --> 00:20:04.894
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, or maybe the same way.

00:20:05.516 --> 00:20:05.717
<v Speaker 2>Right.

00:20:05.717 --> 00:20:07.744
<v Speaker 2>So it's pretty cool, I mean.

00:20:07.744 --> 00:20:19.221
<v Speaker 2>So I think generally from my experience is when you are able to get your mind in the right place, people just fall together.

00:20:19.221 --> 00:20:25.571
<v Speaker 2>People just fall together instead of all of the negative thoughts that are going through their head.

00:20:25.571 --> 00:20:29.527
<v Speaker 2>You know, when you haven't seen a friend for, for you know, 15 years, and it's all just excitement.

00:20:29.527 --> 00:20:30.449
<v Speaker 2>There's nothing negative.

00:20:30.449 --> 00:20:34.490
<v Speaker 2>Going in there saying, oh I wonder if they're going to judge me or any of that crap.

00:20:34.490 --> 00:20:35.894
<v Speaker 2>We tell ourselves in our minds.

00:20:35.894 --> 00:20:38.866
<v Speaker 2>And everybody does it, ladies and gentlemen, everybody does it.

00:20:39.208 --> 00:20:42.332
<v Speaker 2>Uh, it's about controlling it and reverting back to your best self.

00:20:42.332 --> 00:20:58.061
<v Speaker 2>So if you can control that and you're just going in in a place of love because you did your little, your journal, that evilly was just thoughtful about, or whatever the case may be, it just connects them because you're going in as your best self, and just that excitement.

00:20:58.061 --> 00:21:02.776
<v Speaker 2>So again, when you meet that friend, again you haven't seen, seen them in six months and all of a sudden you just see each other.

00:21:02.776 --> 00:21:06.928
<v Speaker 2>It's like you guys haven't saw each other yesterday and you're just there.

00:21:06.928 --> 00:21:09.650
<v Speaker 2>That's the beauty of it.

00:21:11.846 --> 00:21:25.046
<v Speaker 3>And what I would like to point out with anxiety because I've seen brain imaging from Amen Clinics and I've seen those SPECT scans taken from a brain those two emotions cannot exist in the brain at the same time.

00:21:25.046 --> 00:21:29.921
<v Speaker 3>When you're anxious or fearful, you can cancel out fear.

00:21:29.921 --> 00:21:34.373
<v Speaker 3>When you drop into gratitude, gratitude cancels out fear and anxiety.

00:21:34.373 --> 00:21:58.096
<v Speaker 3>So you might, may write, but what you can do is just close your eyes for three minutes, put your hand on heart and remember all the moments you're grateful for, and especially power, for all those moments when you see someone else do something good for someone third party, and just for three minutes you drop into gratitude and the anxiety will fade away.

00:21:59.419 --> 00:22:06.079
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I have to tell you, I mean, I love the exercises.

00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:10.220
<v Speaker 2>I've not done this, really, with another guest, just doing exercises and doing this.

00:22:10.220 --> 00:22:11.763
<v Speaker 2>So it's been, it's been fantastic.

00:22:11.763 --> 00:22:13.667
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much, thank you.

00:22:13.667 --> 00:22:23.028
<v Speaker 2>So if a family member is here, we're going to do it again.

00:22:25.036 --> 00:22:27.444
<v Speaker 3>No, no, bring it, let's do it.

00:22:29.036 --> 00:22:35.384
<v Speaker 2>So a family member is coming home from the military and I'm going to switch this away from family just for a second.

00:22:35.384 --> 00:22:38.820
<v Speaker 2>Hey, marcus Weiss just popped up.

00:22:38.820 --> 00:22:47.948
<v Speaker 2>Hey, marcus, if a family member is coming, not family member, sorry, got sidetracked, marcus, thank you.

00:22:47.948 --> 00:23:04.388
<v Speaker 2>So we go back and a we're gonna meet our friends and they've again been somewhat disconnected and the friends have a lot of questions, right, hey?

00:23:04.388 --> 00:23:05.192
<v Speaker 2>So what was it like?

00:23:05.192 --> 00:23:05.894
<v Speaker 2>What'd you go through?

00:23:05.894 --> 00:23:06.496
<v Speaker 2>What'd you do?

00:23:06.496 --> 00:23:12.268
<v Speaker 2>A lot of veterans from my experience coaching and so on don't want to talk about it.

00:23:12.268 --> 00:23:17.343
<v Speaker 2>What would be a way that they can maybe communicate that to their friends?

00:23:17.343 --> 00:23:32.851
<v Speaker 2>With some, I'm going to say open communication, but what are some thoughts about being able to talk to your friends or make it an okay place to let them know that I'm not ready to?

00:23:35.776 --> 00:23:39.316
<v Speaker 3>So it comes down to establishing boundaries right, which?

00:23:39.877 --> 00:23:53.644
<v Speaker 3>none of us are really taught in this lifetime, I think, how to establish boundaries, and that those can be done in a kind way and we don't need to take emotional responsibility for other people on how we communicate and say things.

00:23:53.644 --> 00:24:15.327
<v Speaker 3>So it's really like acknowledging the question, never opposing, like always aligning, thanking them for their curiosity, because what they're really doing is they care, they want to show up, they want to know to understand you, and you can thank them if you don't feel like sharing and just openly say that I'm not ready to share yet.

00:24:15.327 --> 00:24:20.106
<v Speaker 3>I'm processing it still, but be kind and do it with candor.

00:24:22.015 --> 00:24:23.298
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely.

00:24:23.298 --> 00:24:30.289
<v Speaker 2>I think it's a great tip because, again, a lot, lot of friends and things, it's just a reconnection.

00:24:30.289 --> 00:24:52.147
<v Speaker 2>So I think sometimes if you realize that because they care, as evilly said if you realize that it's not they're trying to put you back in in um anxiety, stress, you know those kinds of things, and just realize that they're coming from a place of love, it changes the way you deal with it.

00:24:52.147 --> 00:24:54.298
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so excellent, thank you.

00:24:54.380 --> 00:24:55.202
<v Speaker 3>It's the reframe.

00:24:55.784 --> 00:24:55.984
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

00:24:56.596 --> 00:25:10.585
<v Speaker 3>The meaning you get to assign, why they ask the things, and it's basically the saying like always, when you walk around in the world, have the assumption that everyone thinks the best of you.

00:25:10.585 --> 00:25:15.526
<v Speaker 3>Just walk around in that way that everyone means best and does best.

00:25:15.526 --> 00:25:21.941
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely won't be true, because people can be fantastic, as we know, is what I like to call them.

00:25:21.941 --> 00:25:35.967
<v Speaker 3>But when you do, it does not mean that you're better than someone else, but it does like pre-frame you to show up as your best self, open, and then you get to create the meaning you're assigned to things.

00:25:35.967 --> 00:25:38.578
<v Speaker 3>So, yeah, absolutely.

00:25:38.578 --> 00:25:39.942
<v Speaker 3>Let's see my kid came.

00:25:39.942 --> 00:25:45.398
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna give him a hug no, please do, please do show the love he went to bed.

00:25:46.861 --> 00:25:48.825
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, night.

00:25:48.825 --> 00:25:54.045
<v Speaker 2>Ladies and gentlemen, just so you know, evelina is in Estonia, so it's nighttime.

00:25:55.239 --> 00:25:56.423
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's nighttime, yeah, soon.

00:25:56.996 --> 00:25:58.121
<v Speaker 2>So thank you for doing this.

00:25:59.057 --> 00:25:59.945
<v Speaker 3>Great, great advice.

00:26:00.317 --> 00:26:03.440
<v Speaker 2>And also, ladies and gentlemen, we're not editing any of this.

00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:04.201
<v Speaker 2>This just happened.

00:26:04.201 --> 00:26:09.662
<v Speaker 2>Dogs bars Life, life, life be lifin', as Les Brown says.

00:26:10.724 --> 00:26:11.266
<v Speaker 3>I want to share.

00:26:11.266 --> 00:26:18.070
<v Speaker 3>I don't remember you tell me if I shared this last time, but this exercise has pulled people out of clinical depression.

00:26:18.712 --> 00:26:19.035
<v Speaker 2>Please.

00:26:19.955 --> 00:26:20.799
<v Speaker 3>Maybe I didn't share.

00:26:20.799 --> 00:26:21.442
<v Speaker 3>Tell me then.

00:26:21.442 --> 00:26:24.196
<v Speaker 3>It's a mirror exercise and the mirror gets to be your best friend.

00:26:24.196 --> 00:26:26.238
<v Speaker 3>And no, I'm going to not this time.

00:26:26.238 --> 00:26:28.740
<v Speaker 3>I won't tell you you go, look in the mirror and say you love yourself.

00:26:28.740 --> 00:26:32.383
<v Speaker 3>We'll get to that, but let's do a build-up exercise for that.

00:26:32.383 --> 00:26:32.803
<v Speaker 3>You ready?

00:26:32.803 --> 00:26:33.983
<v Speaker 3>I haven't shared this.

00:26:35.005 --> 00:26:39.008
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you did, but not everybody's seen this Okay.

00:26:39.488 --> 00:26:45.652
<v Speaker 3>So I think it might be useful for veterans, because it's been useful for my dad and for myself as well.

00:26:45.652 --> 00:26:52.186
<v Speaker 3>It consists of three parts, and first part is you go, look in the mirror.

00:26:53.518 --> 00:26:55.951
<v Speaker 2>You say your name Really quick before you do this.

00:26:55.951 --> 00:26:59.784
<v Speaker 2>Anybody that has a pen and a piece of paper close by, please grab it.

00:26:59.784 --> 00:27:00.405
<v Speaker 2>Take some notes.

00:27:01.799 --> 00:27:03.327
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you might want to write it down.

00:27:03.327 --> 00:27:13.199
<v Speaker 3>It consists of three parts and it's like I'm going to go into the mirror, look at myself in the eye, not brush it, and feel into every sentence.

00:27:13.199 --> 00:27:15.164
<v Speaker 3>I'm about to say and say evilly.

00:27:15.164 --> 00:27:20.038
<v Speaker 3>I'm proud of you for and you say seven things that come out of you.

00:27:20.038 --> 00:27:21.019
<v Speaker 3>You don't prepare it.

00:27:21.019 --> 00:27:24.095
<v Speaker 3>You see just what shows up and you feel into each one.

00:27:24.095 --> 00:27:26.720
<v Speaker 3>I'm proud of you for making it back.

00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:32.357
<v Speaker 3>I'm proud of you for returning, being alive, like doing the things you did, surviving.

00:27:32.357 --> 00:27:35.486
<v Speaker 3>Whatever comes out of you is what's supposed to come out of you.

00:27:35.486 --> 00:27:40.507
<v Speaker 3>That's the first part, and you begin each sentence with your name, because that's the most important word.

00:27:40.507 --> 00:27:44.859
<v Speaker 3>And then the second part is evilly.

00:27:44.859 --> 00:27:56.382
<v Speaker 3>I forgive you for and you look yourself in the eye and you really and you tears may come Like I I ugly cried in front of that mirror.

00:27:56.382 --> 00:28:02.807
<v Speaker 3>Let's be honest, not only once, cause you never know what shows up and you just be there with you and you forgive yourself.

00:28:02.807 --> 00:28:03.898
<v Speaker 3>Seven things that come up.

00:28:04.560 --> 00:28:05.403
<v Speaker 2>Fantastic.

00:28:05.403 --> 00:28:08.525
<v Speaker 2>I just want to make a real quick note here.

00:28:08.525 --> 00:28:13.086
<v Speaker 2>Wait, if you cry, it's a beautiful thing because you're actually touching yourself.

00:28:13.086 --> 00:28:14.862
<v Speaker 2>You're actually touching your soul.

00:28:15.714 --> 00:28:17.522
<v Speaker 3>Something is getting released, yeah.

00:28:18.015 --> 00:28:18.901
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, thank you.

00:28:20.236 --> 00:28:26.638
<v Speaker 3>Because emotions are stored in the body and when we release them, they come out through tears, and it's a normal process.

00:28:26.638 --> 00:28:27.742
<v Speaker 3>It's a cleansing process.

00:28:27.742 --> 00:28:28.144
<v Speaker 3>It is.

00:28:29.700 --> 00:28:33.143
<v Speaker 3>And you're doing it on your own, so the mirror won't say anything to anyone.

00:28:33.143 --> 00:28:36.695
<v Speaker 3>And the third part is Eveli.

00:28:36.695 --> 00:28:38.242
<v Speaker 3>I promise you that.

00:28:38.242 --> 00:28:41.625
<v Speaker 3>I promise you that I will say no when I want to say no.

00:28:41.625 --> 00:28:44.203
<v Speaker 3>I promise you that I will say yes when I want to say yes.

00:28:44.203 --> 00:28:47.584
<v Speaker 3>I promise you to be there for you.

00:28:47.584 --> 00:28:49.377
<v Speaker 3>I promise to make your dreams come true.

00:28:49.377 --> 00:28:50.480
<v Speaker 3>I promise we to be there for you.

00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:51.402
<v Speaker 3>I promise to make your dreams come true.

00:28:51.402 --> 00:29:10.146
<v Speaker 3>I promise we will integrate back into this society, whatever you know what comes out of you, and you just say seven things again and you feed into each one and you do this exercise for 30 days and you never prepare, and each day something new might come up, but you may want to take note of the things that move you the most and write those down.

00:29:10.146 --> 00:29:12.460
<v Speaker 3>There's something there you can work with, maybe.

00:29:13.321 --> 00:29:15.086
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I love that.

00:29:15.086 --> 00:29:16.622
<v Speaker 2>That's absolutely fantastic.

00:29:16.622 --> 00:29:18.803
<v Speaker 2>I don't think you shared that last time.

00:29:20.398 --> 00:29:20.760
<v Speaker 1>No, I did.

00:29:21.895 --> 00:29:24.223
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad you did because I'm going to try it.

00:29:24.223 --> 00:29:25.738
<v Speaker 2>I've never done that exercise.

00:29:25.738 --> 00:29:26.540
<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic.

00:29:26.540 --> 00:29:29.749
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, absolutely Thank you.

00:29:29.749 --> 00:29:34.646
<v Speaker 2>So, we're getting at the end of our time Come again.

00:29:37.138 --> 00:29:38.483
<v Speaker 2>We'll have you on again, of course.

00:29:38.483 --> 00:29:47.426
<v Speaker 2>You're welcome here anytime and as often as you would like to be on here, so you'll bring amazing insights, just an amazing light.

00:29:47.426 --> 00:29:51.123
<v Speaker 2>You're just an amazing can I say amazing too many times?

00:29:51.123 --> 00:29:52.446
<v Speaker 2>Amazing person.

00:29:52.446 --> 00:29:54.903
<v Speaker 2>Stop it.

00:29:54.903 --> 00:29:58.625
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

00:29:58.625 --> 00:30:00.903
<v Speaker 2>I do cherish our time together.

00:30:00.903 --> 00:30:04.584
<v Speaker 2>So, with that said, you know what we're going to do.

00:30:04.584 --> 00:30:08.243
<v Speaker 2>One thing first is how do people reach out to you?

00:30:10.175 --> 00:30:12.077
<v Speaker 3>one thing first is how do people reach out to you?

00:30:12.077 --> 00:30:14.078
<v Speaker 3>Eveli Rautmats on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn.

00:30:14.078 --> 00:30:18.642
<v Speaker 3>Evelirautmatscom is the website and you can find me there.

00:30:19.262 --> 00:30:19.782
<v Speaker 2>Fantastic.

00:30:19.782 --> 00:30:23.224
<v Speaker 2>Please drop that in the comments later if you get a chance.

00:30:23.224 --> 00:30:25.987
<v Speaker 2>Okay, thank you very much.

00:30:25.987 --> 00:30:31.151
<v Speaker 2>And then three tips to get veterans and their families further faster.

00:30:31.151 --> 00:30:33.271
<v Speaker 2>I know you already did like eight, but three more.

00:30:33.271 --> 00:30:37.924
<v Speaker 2>How much more?

00:30:37.924 --> 00:30:38.988
<v Speaker 2>It's all about the value, emily.

00:30:41.223 --> 00:30:41.967
<v Speaker 3>All about the value we bring.

00:30:41.967 --> 00:30:44.317
<v Speaker 3>This is your best friend and protector.

00:30:44.317 --> 00:30:48.926
<v Speaker 3>Remember that this will pull you out of the brain.

00:30:48.926 --> 00:30:50.108
<v Speaker 3>Doesn't know what's real and what's not.

00:30:50.108 --> 00:31:00.748
<v Speaker 3>When you smile, you know you're halfway set and Forgive yourself.

00:31:00.748 --> 00:31:02.861
<v Speaker 3>Do the exercise.

00:31:02.861 --> 00:31:12.804
<v Speaker 3>Forgive yourself whatever needs to be or gets to be forgiven and be the creator of your reality by mastering your thoughts.

00:31:12.804 --> 00:31:14.278
<v Speaker 3>What Michael is all about here.

00:31:15.823 --> 00:31:17.026
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, thank you so much.

00:31:17.026 --> 00:31:22.579
<v Speaker 2>So, as always, our time is human but most precious resource.

00:31:22.579 --> 00:31:27.960
<v Speaker 2>We don't get it back and I know you're there late at night, so thank you, thank you, thank you for the time you spent with us.

00:31:27.960 --> 00:31:29.066
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, I'm honored we you.

00:31:29.086 --> 00:31:30.311
<v Speaker 3>Thank you for the time you spent with us.

00:31:30.311 --> 00:31:30.773
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, I'm honored.

00:31:31.615 --> 00:31:37.769
<v Speaker 2>We'll talk to you, talk to you very soon and everybody out of here, bye.

00:31:40.058 --> 00:31:46.505
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your thoughts your reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.

00:31:46.505 --> 00:31:50.144
<v Speaker 1>We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.

00:31:50.144 --> 00:31:56.702
<v Speaker 1>To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.

00:31:56.702 --> 00:32:01.721
<v Speaker 1>Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.

00:32:01.721 --> 00:32:06.784
<v Speaker 1>Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.

00:32:06.784 --> 00:32:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Catch you on the next episode.