Pleasure Project: Sex and Relationships

Betrayal is a serious stressor on any relationship. Some couples weather the storm and rebuild a better, more grounded partnership. They create a 2.0 version of their relationship that includes radical honesty, transparency and deep intimacy. 

In this episode, Dr. Jenn and Michelle Mays—author, CSAT and leading expert on partner betrayal recovery—discuss the considerations for couples who are in later stages of recovery work and navigating intimacy.

Highlights from the episode: They discuss the Stages of Braving Hope, a term she coined which outlines infidelity discovery and recovery.

Devastation: fear anger, confusion, mistrust, ambivalence, stuck in activated state, chaotic, gaslighting by cheaterwith the partner acting as investigator. During this stage, the goal is simply to cope and to seek support. 

Realization: scope and depth of betrayal are fully realized and partners are often debating whether to stay or go. They may notice a dip in their sexual self-esteem, and feel general overwhelm at the depth of the problem. 

Stabilization: couples have more emotional space and less confusion. They have thoughts of their future, increased clarity, reduced conflict, better communication, strong boundaries and personal power. Both partners are articulating their needs and connected to reality.  

They also discuss the importance of attachment and how that factors into rebuilding trust and allowing vulnerability. When attachment is strong, it fosters belonging, significance, fun, adventure, bonding, connection, feeling seen, heard, loved, known, validated and thus safe. When attachment is strained, partners feel unwanted, unknown, undesired, unloved, rejected, disconnected, ignored, excluded.

If you are wondering about your own attachment style and how it affects your intimacy, take my attachment quick here. 

With solid recovery and consistent communication, couples are ready to rebuild their sex life. However, I often find that their sex life was never good (lack of communication and intimacy skills), so we are skill building from the ground up. We discuss the value of knowing your own pleasure profile so you can then guide your willing partner. 

Michelle Mays, is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst and she is the founder of the Relational Recovery Institute. Michelle has created the Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model™ to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. 

This podcast is also useful for couples who haven’t experienced betrayal, but do feel disconnected and struggle with closeness and intimacy. 

Reach Michelle Mays: https://michellemays.com

IG: michellemays_YT: MichelleMaysChannel

#podcast #love #book #pleasureprojectpodcast #drjennkennedy #therapy #couplescounseling #couplestherapy #romance #partnership #longtermrelationship #pleasureproject #interview #CSAT

Couples often face various challenges regarding the initiation of sexual activity, and these can differ based on individual preferences, communication styles, and societal norms. Here are some common challenges that both men and women might express, which Dr. Jenn Kennedy discusses in her new podcast. 

Fear of Rejection: Women may fear that their partner will not be in the mood or will reject their advances, which can lead to feelings of embarrassment or insecurity.

Cultural and Societal Norms: Traditional gender roles can influence expectations, with some women feeling that it is not their role to initiate intimacy, leading to hesitation.

Self-Confidence Issues: Concerns about body image or sexual performance can make women hesitant to initiate sex, worrying that they might be judged or not meet their partner’s expectations.

Other common obstacles to initiation include: communication barriers, emotional state and stress, your partner’s reaction, prior experiences or a mismatch in libido. 

Addressing these challenges typically involves improving communication, fostering mutual understanding, and building a supportive and non-judgmental relationship environment.

In this episode Dr. Jenn delineates Pleasure from Desire.

She unpacks the various combinations of situations where desire and/or pleasure come into play and examines why each is valuable.

Pleasure Before Desire: Sometimes, pleasure can be experienced without prior desire, such as unexpected joy from a spontaneous event. This type of pleasure can enhance psychological well-being by bringing unexpected happiness and reduce stress. 

Desire Leading to Pleasure: Desire often precedes pleasure, motivating individuals to pursue goals or activities that they believe will bring satisfaction. Desire is the wanting feeling that leads to action, which involves pleasurable outcomes.

Pleasure Without Desire

Immediate Gratification: Activities like consuming favorite foods or engaging in enjoyable hobbies can provide pleasure without a preceding desire.

Desire Without Pleasure

Unfulfilled Desires: Desires that are not met can lead to frustration, anxiety, and dissatisfaction. Think Blue Balls (or Lips) here. The anticipation of pleasure that never materializes can negatively impact psychological well-being. 

#relationships #therapy #sextherapy101 #couplesgoals #vivalavulva

In this episode, Dr. Jenn talks about vulnerability. This is something that shows up both in your platonic and romantic relationships. Most of us, in theory, really want vulnerability. But dismantling our own obstacles and showing up wholeheartedly in relationship is challenging.

Often times, in couples counseling, both parties in the relationship want vulnerability but have a hard time achieving it. There are numerous verbal and nonverbal exchanges that signal safety and risk interpersonally. We start to initiate and then we retract or we perceive a rejection or hesitation, and we shut down. Vulnerability IS inherently a risk. And it also come with tremendous reward.

Are you curious about how vulnerability actually works in relationship?

Tune in to hear more. 

If you have a topic you want to hear covered by a sex therapist, let us know at Jenn@PleasureProject.us

…

 #couplestherapy #sexpositivefeminism #sextherapy #relationships #therapy #growth #confidence couplescounseling #partnership #drjennkennedy #thepleasureproject #shame #sexualshame #culture  #religion #empowerment #thepleasureprojectpodcast #sexuality #love #partnership #grouptherapy #vulnerability

In this episode, Dr. Jenn sits down with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers - a brilliant Ph.D., LMFT, Sex Therapist and author. This episode mainly explores shame, which is at the core of so much sexual dysfunction.

They discuss:

• The roots of shame and how it can present in your sex life/relationships

• How the political and cultural climate can affect shame

• How did America become s*x negative?

• S*x & Religion

• How family of origin affects attachment

• What is normative curiosity?

• Showing up authentically in love

• Hesitation & Self Doubt

• S*x education

• Psychedelic’s and their place therapeutically

This is a behind the scenes, organic conversation between two sex therapists. Give it a listen and let us know what you think!

You can find Dr. Tina at:  

www.TinaSchermerSellers.com  

www.NWIOI.com  

www.ThankGodForSex.org  

Instagram: @drtinashameless @NWInstituteOnIntimacy 

…

#podcast #couplestherapy #sexpositivefeminism #sextherapy #relationships #therapy #growth #confidence couplescounseling #partnership #drjennkennedy #thepleasureproject #shame #sexualshame #culture #psychedelics #religion #empowerment #thepleasureprojectpodcast #sexuality #love 

In this episode, Dr. Jenn talks to Roylin Downs, owner of Trystology -- an online and brick and mortar sex toy store. She offers a unique perspective on what customers are seeking when they shop for erotic play.

We discuss:

- Crowd pleasers (favorite toys)

- Options for men, women and couples play

- How to know your toy is high quality and safe

- Her philosophy of "an orgasm a day."

- Address the pushback regarding lube, vibrators, solo play

Here are the toys we discuss:

• Lelo Enigma
• Lovense Ambi
• Zumio S
• The Arouser
• Zumio I
• Romp Free X
• We-Vibe Touch X
• Jimmyjane Form 2 Pro
• Le Wand Feel My Power
• Tenga SVR Vibrating Ring
• Jimmyjane Curve Gripp

…

#podcast #couplestherapy #sexpositivefeminism #sextherapy #relationships #therapy #growth #confidence couplescounseling #partnership #drjennkennedy #thepleasureproject #thepleasureprojectpodcast #sexuality #sternberg #typesoflove #love #sextoys #partnerplay #sextherapy101 #vibrator

In this episode, Dr. Jenn discusses considerations for both individuals and couples who are over 50 and wanting a vibrant s*x life.

She breaks down the biological, psychological and interpersonal considerations that influence the 50 + set and discusses how this shows up clinically. Dr. Jenn also normalizes the issues that arise for people in this stage of life and how that influences or enhances their approach to s*x. ------#podcast #sextherapy #couplescounseling #therapy #longtermrelationships #sexafter50 #couplesgoals #vivalavulva #sextherapy101 #desire #menopause #couples #relationships #pleasure

Jennifer Love is a wealth alchemist, money therapist and the CEO of LivWeal Institute. Since 2001, she has help impact-focused leaders and entrepreneurs go from being spent, stuck, and self-critical to running profitable multi-million dollar businesses—with full confidence, and a deeply nourished life.

Jennifer hosts retreats called “Dear Money, Let’s Talk”™ which guides participants through a process of heart-to-heart conversations to grow ‘get-through-anything’ kind of self-trust. She helps participants cement unshakable self-worth, and amplify their value for more powerful exchanges with others.

Dr. Jenn and Jennifer Love have a candid and meaningful conversation about both money and wealth—which are not one and the same.

Topics include:

⁃ How wealth impacts worth

⁃ Common misconceptions about wealth

⁃ How money affects relationship (including s*xual) dynamics

⁃ Cultivating a healthier relationship to money and earning

⁃ Retreats for those who need to shift their inner dialog about money

—

#podcast #love #pleasureprojectpodcast #drjennkennedy #therapy #couplescounseling #therapy #couplestherapy #romance #partnership #longtermrelationship #pleasureproject #intimacy #relationships #jenniferlove #wealth #alchemy #money

In this episode, Dr. Jenn talks about the eight Types of Love as defined by Sternberg. There are 8 different configurations within relationships, and often times couples (or throuples) have one or two of the elements, but not all three.

These elements include -

Passion: sexual attraction, lust, flirtation

Intimacy: feeling close to, understood by and vulnerable with another

Commitment: agreements about the configuration and boundaries of the relationship

These configurations can change throughout the lifetime, and throughout the dynamics of a pairing.

—

#podcast #love  #pleasureprojectpodcast #drjennkennedy #therapy #couplescounseling #therapy #couplestherapy #romance #partnership #longtermrelationship #pleasureproject #typesoflove #sternberg #intimacy #relationships 

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh is a globally renowned author, speaker and thinking partner. Her third book Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love is the result of her two-decade-long research on the status of thriving relationships and its key ingredients, namely: attraction, respect, trust, shared vision, compassion, and loving behaviors. Dr. Nasserzadeh whose work has been featured on NPR, the BBC, ABC, CNN, and USA Today, is based in Los Angeles, CA, and travels widely.

In this episode Dr. Jenn and Dr. Sara discuss her new book at length. Dr. Sara says, “Love is a job with no job description.” She reflects the challenges couples face as they try to navigate the myriad roles they are expected to play for one another. She then articulates the pitfalls of romantic love and introduces her model of Emergent Love as an alternative approach for longer term, lasting love.

The key tenets of Emergent Love include:Attraction: Recognizing the evolving roles and attributes you find appealing in your partner. Respect: Having high regard for your partner and keeping their needs and priorities in mind. Trust: Believing that your partner will show up for you consistently and in the ways that matter to you and you do the same for them. Shared Vision: Making a commitment to go somewhere or build something together with shared priorities. Compassion: The capacity to show up fully for your partner without making it about yourself. Loving Behaviors: Manifesting love through specific, exclusive, and tender actions toward your partner. Making each other feel special.

Dr. Sara also offers the Platinum Rule: Do to others what they want done to them—which means be a generous and considerate lover and spouse. Tune in for this thoughtful and winding discussion about long term partnerships. You can find Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh at: Instagram:@dr.saranasserzadehWebsite (You can join her newsletter for more resources here: https://www.sara-nasserzadeh.com/ YouTube: @dr Sara Nasserzadeh Dr. Sara also designed a relationship assessment for couples. Access it here: Relationship Panoramic Inventory #podcast #love #book #pleasureprojectpodcast #drjennkennedy #therapy #couplescounseling #therapy #couplestherapy #romance #partnership #longtermrelationship #pleasureproject #interview

Confidence is a HUGE factor in your intimate life. It is a reflection of both how you feel about yourself and how confident you feel in your relationship and toward your partner. 

In this episode, Dr. Jenn Kennedy looks at historical messages and experiences to see how they impacts how attractive you feel and confident you act. 

Confidence is affected by both psychological and interpersonal components. For example, how attractive or deserving do you feel? This affects what you project to others and influences the outcome. Interpersonal is also impacted because your self esteem and confidence (in self and in your partner) play out in how you ask for what you want s*xualy. Confidence matters both in the everyday as well as in the bedroom. And much of desire starts before sex.

Dr. Jenn unpacks the role of automatic thoughts, which can hijack your mind and derail your best intimate intentions. Notice how what you think affects how you act. 

Dr. Jenn discusses the responsibility that comes with initiating or being the receiving party of someone else's initiation (both can be stressful) and both are influenced by confidence. 

Initiation – Tried and true vs. playful, in the moment ideas. Do you pay attention to partner or self or both? Do you have defeating thoughts? Every partner is different and sex with the same person can be different. Can you adjust?

Receiving – do you feel deserving—not just of attention, but pleasure? Do you know what you want? Can you communicate that to your lover?

Parting questions that take you into your confidence: 

• When do you feel your best? 
• What could increase that feeling for you?

#confidence #couples #sexualhealth #sexlife #podcast #drjennkennedy #pleasureprojectpodcast #couplestherapy #therapy #growth #communication #relationships #intimacy #selfesteem #selflove #selfworth 

Betrayal comes in many forms. During this episode, Dr. Jenn talks to Therapist Annie Finch about what common struggles partners face when betrayed.

Topics covered include:

- Partners feelings of blame

- Long term viability after betrayal

-Rebuilding trust between partners after infidelity

- A personal and relational healing path

Annie Finch is an associate marriage and family therapist with Riviera Therapy. She is certified in sex addiction and drug addiction recovery. She runs a group for betrayed partners and understands well how to facilitate healing after betrayal. Annie also sees couples.

Find Annie at:

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, #147521
Certified Addictions Counselor, CADC I CiCA01160519
Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
Tel: (805) 724-0915
Email: Annie@RivieraTherapy.com

#betrayal #infidelity #couples #podcast #couplestherapy #rebuildingtrust #sextherapy #relationships #therapy #growth #nonjudgement #couplescounseling #partnership #drjennkennedy #thepleasureproject #thepleasureprojectpodcast 

Dr. Jenn has covered many topics for people in relationships -- this episode is geared toward those who are currently dating or deciding how to get back into the dating scene.

She discusses how certain pairings complement one another (in the bedroom) more than others .

She also poses and discusses some questions:

• What is your strategy for dating?
• Do you have a plan - what is your intention? For example, are you looking to explore? Are you looking to find a long-term partner?
• Do you date multiple people at once?
• Do you have s*x with multiple people at once? If so, do you tell each person?

_____

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. You can find out more or sign up at⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #sextherapy #personalgrowth #education #therapy #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #feminism #spark #theick #dating #single #casualdating

In this episode Dr. Jenn Kennedy interviews, Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D. She is a celebrated author and researcher.

Dr. Kleinplatz is Professor in the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Ottawa. She is a Certified Sex Therapist and Educator.  Her research focuses on optimizing sexual experience, with a particular interest in sexual health in older people, the disabled, chronically ill and other marginalized populations.

In this episode, Dr. Kennedy & Dr. Kleinplatz discuss her research about the strategies employed by couples who have been together 10, 20, even 40 years for fostering a fulfilling s*x life. They hear so many stories of people not having good s*x and of the challenges of keeping chemistry alive in the long haul. But what about the people that are having truly fulfilling s*x - what are they doing differently and how can we all have it?

Key take aways:

• Great lovers are made -- not born
• Sex becomes more "human" with age
• Importance of preparation to ensure a positive experience
• The value of empathy and how it improves the quality of s*x

Dr. Kleinplatz has edited or authored five books including New Directions in Sex Therapy: Innovations and Alternatives, winner of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counsellors and Therapists (AASECT) 2013 Book Award and with A. Dana Menard, Ph.D.  Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers, winner of the 2021 Society for Sex Therapy and Research Consumer Book Award. 

You can contact Dr. Kleinplatz at:

 www.optimalsexualexperiences.com

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. You can find out more or sign up at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #sextherapy #personalgrowth #education #therapy #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #feminism #couplescounseling #longterm #spark #magificentsex

If we have a single vision of how sex must go, then we tend to miss out on all the fantastic, pleasing, alternative ways we could have discovered ourselves and/or one another. We feel discouraged when our body doesn’t respond, yet we don’t have flexibility to explore is other ways. This scenario happens much too often. 

In this episode, Dr. Jenn Kennedy illustrates this challenge with the case of Jon and Angela who have been married for 11 years (no children). Jon is a 56-year-old CEO with a steady diet of stress. Angela, 42, works as a freelance writer and does Pilates regularly. The couple tends to “work hard—then play hard.” Jon has increasingly faced erectile dysfunction over the past year. They have decreased sexual contact to avoid the awkwardness and frustration that results (mostly for Jon) when penetrative sex cannot happen. They have arrived in my office with palpable tension. 

In discussing their cycle, the couple acknowledge that when Jon’s work stress spikes or when they have interpersonal conflict (even low level), his ED worsens. And when he cannot achieve erection, they tend to go longer periods of time without engagement. Dr. Jenn suggested they break this pattern by reframing their expectations and their definition of sex. They discuss their goals for sex: pleasure, connection, fun, release. Dr. Jenn wagers that those goals can be met without penetration. 

Tune to hear more about this case.

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. You can find out more or sign up at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #sextherapy #personalgrowth #education #therapy #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #feminism #couplescounseling #goalsetting #goals #newyear #resolutions #intentions

This is a fun one! Dr. Jenn Kennedy and Kristi Miller, LMFT dive into the taboo topic of body hair, including head, face, chest, back, arms, legs, pubic and backside! They discuss how hair affections attraction, self image, cultural influences and body image.

Kristi is the founder of Solutions in Parenting, is a Parent Educator, Parenting Consultant, Certified Mediator, licensed Marriage and Family psychotherapist and Clinical Staff at Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, California. She offers a distinctive form of parent education and psychotherapy, coupled with hands-on training for parents, individuals and their families. For more than two decades, she has been dedicated to a specialized form of parent education she developed which honors and encourages parents and helps them define and maintain their own personal styles. This, in turn, allows children and parents to thrive in a loving and collaborative environment.  

She authored the book, Establishing Boundaries with Kids; A Parent’s Guide to Negotiating Limits and Improving Parent-Child Interactions, which is written for families, teachers, medical professionals, and mental health professionals to use as a reference guide for using positive parenting techniques with children. 

In this episode, Dr. Jenn & Kristi have an open and lighthearted discussion about the following:

• Culture influences on body hair grooming

• Men vs. Women hair habits

• Function vs. fashion of body hair

• Fighting the good fight of aging (with hair)

• Bias and communication regarding body hair

You can find Kristi at: 

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, #111558 Tel: (805) 448-1223 Email: Kristi.M@RivieraTherapy.com 

Solutions in Parenting 

Riviera Therapy  

Psychology Today 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. You can find out more or sign up at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠⁠.

In this episode, Dr. Jenn Kennedy sits down with Rebekah Lovejoy, Ph.D., AMFT, and they discuss all things non-monogamy. They dive into a lot of things people oftentimes want to know about but are afraid to ask. 

Rebekah Lovejoy is an associate marriage and family therapist at Riviera Therapy with specialties in somatic psychology, LGBTQ+ populations, nonmonogamy, archetypal psychology, and mythopoetic modalities.

She works with an integrative, existential, humanistic approach that leverages mindfulness, somatic awareness, EMDR, the latest in trauma aware techniques, evidence based psychodynamic treatments, and a respect for the whole person.

In this episode, they discuss: 

• Defining consensual non-monogamy

• Consensual non-monogamy vs. other types of polyamory

• Contracting between parties

• How LGBTQ+ populations differ 

• The intricacies and the necessity of deep communication both w/self and partner (s)

• Family life and children 

• Navigating judgment

• History of polyamory 

• Non-monogamy through a depth psychology lens 

• Book recommendations to get you started

If you’ve ever wanted more information or have been wanting to try non-monogamy, this episode is for you! 

You can find Rebekah at: 

http://rebekahlovejoytherapy.com 

RivieraTherapy.com 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There is also an upcoming⁠⁠⁠⁠ Pleasure Circle⁠⁠⁠⁠ offering. You can find out more or sign up at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #sextherapy #personalgrowth #education #therapy #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #feminism #couplescounseling #polyamory #consensualnonmonogamy #nonmonogamy #culture #depthpsychology #psychology

In this episode Dr. Jenn talks about stressors and how they affect your sex life. This is a great podcast to listen to as a couple.

The episode begins with a mapping exercise to help you identify both your motivations and your barriers to intimacy. It is important to look at stress management in a practical way and figure out these dynamics present obstacles that thwart your desire and connection (to self and partner). 

Many stressors are out of your control, but your reaction and your commitment to staying resourced is within your sphere of influence. 

If we can manage our stress, we will typically have more access to our sexuality. Tune in and let Dr. Jenn know what you think!

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There is also upcoming⁠⁠⁠ Pleasure Circle⁠⁠⁠ offerings. You can find out more or sign up at ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #aging #education #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #empowerment #drjennkennedy #menopause #midlife #bodyempowerment #stress #stressmanagement #couplescounseling #couplestherapy #therapy

In this episode, Dr. Jenn interviews Dr. Lisa Rayburn, Esq. about a topic that comes up time and time again as a sex therapist and a sex addiction therapist: the intersection of sex and religion. 

Dr. Lisa Rayburn is a theologian, attorney, and leadership educator. She leads individuals and groups through change. As an attorney and business executive, she was trained to think strategically. Her life has also been largely dedicated to helping people spiritually.

They discuss hot button topics like:

• The complexities of sex and religion 
• Sexual shame and ways to work to release it
• The difference between shame and guilt 
• What the religious texts are actually saying in regard to sex 
• The role of procreation 
• Where does pleasure come in?
• Masturbation 
• Marriage 
• Differing beliefs

This is a much needed conversation and we'd love to know what you think. You can find Dr. Rayburn on LinkedIn & @lisarayburn

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #aging #education #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #empowerment #drjennkennedy #religion #menopause #midlife #bodyempowerment #religionandsex

In this episode, Dr. Jenn unpacks turn-ons and turn-offs. She discusses how important it is to examine both your excitors and those things that inhibit you. Oftentimes, people know exactly what they dislike, and if the turn-offs go unaddressed, it can be very challenging to move past them. 

Dr. Jenn teaches you how to tune into your senses and make a solid list in both categories to help you gain insight. How can you address your turn-ons and turn-offs if you can’t identify them?

• What excites you?
• What gets you into that playful s*xy space?
• What grosses you out?
• What shuts you down?
• What fears do you have? 

Tune in, give this a try, and let us know what you learned! We’d love to hear your feedback. 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy.You can find out more or sign up at ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #drjennkennedy #pleasureproject #pleasureprojectpodcast #sexuality #couplestherapy #sextherapy #personalgrowth #education #therapy #sexualhealth #feminism #couplescounseling #sexpositive #feminism

In this episode, Dr. Jenn interviews Deb Benfield, MEd, RDN/LDN, RYT of @agingbodyliberation.

Deb invites women to blaze a liberating new path to a respectful, nurturing relationship with their aging body. She has helped hundreds of women heal their relationship with food, eating, and their bodies in her more than 35-year career as a Registered Dietitian/Nutritionist and Registered Yoga Teacher specializing in preventing and treating disordered eating.  

Now in her 60s, Deb focuses her research, training, clinical, and lived experience on the intersection of pro-aging and body liberation.  

Her work is rooted in helping women and this episode addresses:

• How to shift your relationship with your body from “life project” to “life partner”  

• How to nourish your body in midlife and beyond to support growing older in alignment with your values  

• Recognizing internalized ageism and ending it  

• Untangling and separating from the mess of diet/wellness culture  

You can find Deb at ⁠@agingbodyliberation⁠ and at her ⁠website⁠. 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There is also upcoming⁠⁠ Pleasure Circle⁠⁠ offerings. You can find out more or sign up at ⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future ⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #aging #education #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #empowerment #drjennkennedy #agingliberation #menopause #midlife #bodyempowerment

In this episode Dr. Jenn talks about the magic of couple’s therapy. This includes typical reasons why couples come in, the most common problems encountered, and what couples therapy tends to look like structurally.

Some of the most common goals for couples coming into therapy include:

• Communication skills and support
• Perpetual problems
• Low desire
• Infidelity and betrayal
• Learning to negotiate their needs
• Conflict resolution: fighting fair

If you’re curious about any of these topics or thinking about couple’s therapy, this is the episode for you.

Do you have interest in couples work? Contact Dr. Jenn at Riviera Therapy to see who might be a good fit for you. If you'd like to spice your Sex Life check out Dr. Jenn's other passion: Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #couplestherapy #sextherapy #personalgrowth #education #therapy #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #feminism #couplescounseling

In this episode Dr. Jenn talks about the dynamic of self talk and how it relates to s*x.

Self talk is that (often) incessant chatter that monitors your every thought and subsequent behavior. You might not be aware that you're doing it, but you almost certainly are. This inner voice combines conscious and unconscious--often automatic thoughts, beliefs and biases to create an internal monologue throughout the day. Now imagine how all of this hijacks your s*x life! Your desire struggles to happen amongst the peanut galley that is your self talk.

In in the episode, Dr. Jenn discusses four common negative cognitions that show up in self talk and derail your good time:

Personalizing - basically when “It’s not you, it’s me”. If something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. Examples: Our chemistry is off b/c I’m not their type or I don’t orgasm fast enough.

Filtering - you magnify negative and filter out positive parts of an interaction. Ex: The kissing was hot, but the sex was clumsy and felt mechanical.

Catastrophizing - you automatically expect the worst will happen. Ex: I’m going to look, act awkward or not be a good lover.

Polarizing -  you see things only as either good or bad—black and white thinking. It’s the feeling that you have to be perfect or you're a total failure. Ex: I can’t let them see my stomach in any position that shows folding skin. Or, they bit me and I didn’t like it so it’s off.

There is no single, easy switch, but rather noticing and interrupting your go-to self talk.

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There is also an upcoming⁠⁠⁠ Pleasure Circle⁠⁠⁠ offering. You can find out more or sign up at ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #sextherapy #personalgrowth #education #therapy #sexualhealth #pleasureproject #feminism #couplescounseling

In this episode, Dr. Jenn discusses when you should seek support from a sex therapist specifically. What is the difference between a sex therapist and a general therapist? What are the most common issues that bring people into sex therapy?  Dr. Jenn also discusses two cases, including presenting issues and treatment. If you have been debating whether or not sex therapy is the right choice or if you are just curious - this episode is for you. 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There is also an upcoming⁠⁠⁠ Pleasure Circle⁠⁠⁠ offering. You can find out more or sign up at ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future ⁠⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠⁠.#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #therapy #personalgrowth #education #sexualhealth #pleasureproject

Dr. Jenn interviews Trish Hecker from Open Door Support: a resource for whole-life sexual health education for parents, caregivers, educators, and healthcare providers. They work in the community through the classroom using California Healthy Youth Act approved curriculum, and also through parent workshops, one-on-one consulting, and customized training for teachers and healthcare professionals. 

They dive into: 

• Sexual health education– particularly for youth

• Sex ed in California & controversy surrounding sexual ed

• How to have the harder conversations regarding sex, consent, health

• Self-love and the relationship we have with ourselves 

• Body autonomy 

• The age breakdown - what is appropriate sex education at different ages? 

• Shifting from shame to curiosity 

You can find Trish on Instagram at @opendoorsupported and on her website. 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There is also upcoming⁠⁠ Pleasure Circle⁠⁠ offerings. You can find out more or sign up at ⁠⁠Pleasure Project⁠⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future ⁠⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠⁠.

#podcast #sexuality #sexeducation #parenting #education #sexualhealth #pleasureproject

Sexual rejection feels bad all the way around. Energy leading to a sexual interaction requires a degree of vulnerability. We let our guard down to want the other person—to communicate verbally or nonverbally how we want to touch or be touched—how we want to experience pleasure. And when that gets thwarted, it feels not just disappointing, but also personal.

There was hope of temporary merger through the connection, and anticipation of the release that has transmuted into a sadness of two individuals retreating to their silos.

Dr. Jenn discusses:

• How it feels to say no or to hear no
• Factors that cause sexual rejection
• Case examples of couples with high/low desire
• Importance of curiosity with self and partner to address rejection

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There is also upcoming⁠ Pleasure Circle⁠ offerings. You can find out more or sign up at ⁠Pleasure Project⁠. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future ⁠Pleasure Project Blog⁠.

#podcast #pleasure #sexuality #womenspleasure

Dr. Jenn interviews Viki Krug, an Austrian artist with a mission to educate on vulva anatomy and diversity. Krug uses a special type of body casting to create a copy of the participant’s vulva. The casting is then turned into a beautiful statue for the participant to keep. Anonymous photos of the statues are published and used to celebrate vulvas for how they are: different, normal and beautiful. 

They discuss Krug's journey, anatomy, creating safe spaces, body ownership and celebration. 

You can find Viktoria at www.vulvarium.com and @vulvacasting

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to body or sexuality? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There is also upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future Pleasure Project Blog.

Dr. Jenn interviews Ashe Brown, a spiritual herbalist, serial entrepreneur, visionary, sacred space holder, and curator of healing experiences.

Ashe and her wife own and operate Pura Luna Apothecary - an inclusive herbal shop centered around providing accessible healing tools and creating community. They also lead retreats focused on empowerment and personal grounding.

They discuss:

• Ashe’s journey toward finding her soul calling and becoming a healer
• Building an intentional community where all people feel included
• Pura Luna Apothecary’s Pleasure Medicine - toys that are for women by women
• The role of herbalism in sexuality
• Elemental healing & plant medicine
• Ashe’s upcoming retreats
• What does it feel like to be in desire all of the time?

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

In this episode Dr. Jenn discusses how we view female masturbation in our culture. This taboo topic gets misrepresented frequently in the media. Dr. Jenn notes that while MOST women masturbate, few are talking about it and fully owning their experience.

Do you masturbate? If not, why not? How does it compare to partnered sex?

As a culture, it is much more expected that men masturbate but we do not hear from many women.

In this episode Dr. Jenn talks about the stigma, gives practical tips, toy information and discusses the benefits of cultivating a relationship with yourself. Masturbation looks different for everyone, and that's okay!

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship to masturbation? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. Or you might also consider joining the next Pleasure Circle. You can find out more and sign up for Dr. Jenn's newsletter: Pleasure Project. If you're ready to join the conversation or if you have topics you’d like to hear more about send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email.

Has sexual desire faded in your long-term relationship? You’re not alone. In this episode, Dr. Jenn dives into this incredibly common issue and offers ways to spice up your marriage.

She discusses: 

• shifts and changes within partnerships 
• phases of a long-term relationship 
• how stressors affect your individual sexual energy 
• intentionality 
• how to create connection and engagement 
• how to curate the right environment and state of mind
• how to make small steps in the right direction
• removing some of the pressure and lowering expectations 
• ways to remain curious and keep things fresh
• communication, awareness and slowing down 
• what turns you on in a bigger sense? what makes you playful?

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Dr. Jenn Kennedy interviews MFT Rebecca Capps, a holistic therapist, wellness coach, and the CEO of MindBodyThrive. Rebecca has a decade of experience and she’s an expert in eating disorders and body image issues.Dr. Kennedy and Rebecca talk all about:     ⁃    Rebecca’s personal story and the benefits of lived experience combined with a clinical practice.     ⁃    How body image can show up in problematic ways in intimacy    ⁃    How core beliefs can effect our body image and our sex lives    ⁃    How might a partner help someone who is struggling with body image issues    ⁃    The influence of media on sense of self     ⁃    How body image intersects with gender identity    ⁃    They offer strategies for those feeling self conscious during sex    ⁃    They discuss the link between sexual trauma and eating disorders    ⁃    They touch on pregnancy and body image    ⁃    There is also advice, helpful resources and some helpful book recommendations

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Recorded for clinicians in training, this podcast discusses Sex Addiction and sexual compulsion. Dr. Jenn offers insight into the typical presentation and treatment approaches.

Content includes:

Criteria for diagnosis: loss of control, compulsive behavior, efforts to stop, lost time, preoccupation, failure to fulfill obligations, continuing to act out even though there have been consequences, escalations of behavior, losses of various sorts, withdrawal symptoms

Typical presentations of clients: affairs, porn, escorts, Love Addiction

Early interventions: Breaking through denial, creating problems and secrets list, exploring consequences, distortions and accountability.

Resources: SAA and SLAA meetings

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Dr. Jenn Kennedy interviewed pelvic floor physical therapists Dr. Chris Pieton about various issues that arise in her practice related to sexual health.

- Sex doesn't have to be painful or something "you just live with." Common causes and solutions

- Postpartum issues that affect the pelvic floor and how/why sex can be challenging after birth

- The ins and outs of anal sex: lube, location, approach for better sex

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Sex in the beginning was easy, but long term relationships often have couples feeling less engaged and disinterested. Inertia takes over and week, months even years go by without sex. Dr. Jenn Kennedy discusses this dynamic and how to break out of the doldrums. She offers up an exercise to cultivate your own sexual preferences and how to revive your sex within a longer term relationship.

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Dr. Jenn discusses common factors that affect women's desire and arousal: culture, attachment, body image, trauma and relationship to pleasure. 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Challenge these cultural myths about women's sexuality: Women have a low sex drive, seniors shouldn’t be having sex, masturbation means you’re not into partnered sex, sex isn’t good if it doesn’t look like porn, women are supposed to be submissive.

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Sex is a microcosm of your larger life. So if your sex life is less than stellar, I'd like to ask about your bigger life and how you treat yourself in the everyday. I discuss this relationship and how you might consider an everyday shift to help you in the bedroom. 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋

If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Dr. Jenn describes and discusses the killjoy habit of spectatoring--the tendency to judge ourselves during sex. The audience (of your mind) has become unruly. They are critical and unforgiving. They notice anything and everything you are doing wrong. Their insults or doubt might include comments about how you look, how you smell or taste, how fast or slow you are moving, where and how you are touching your partner, and the list goes on. The peanut gallery are tough to please and you entertaining their criticism or trying to explain yourself only leads to more distraction… and likely an even less connected sexual experience.

We call this phenomena spectatoring. It’s the idea of focusing on oneself from a third person perspective. We all do it to some degree, however the voices can get very loud and very discouraging during sexual play. You might notice yourself feeling anxious, awkward, impatient, self-critical and disconnected from your partner or your own pleasure.

In this episode, Dr. Jenn normalizes this tendency and also gives suggestions on how to disarm the army of you mind. Read the full article and/or sign up for the Pleasure Project Newsletter.  

Welcome to 2023 and here's to making your sex life a priority. Start where you are and let's help it get better. 

Do you have interest in unpacking your own relationship? Contact Dr. Jenn for therapy. There are also two upcoming Pleasure Circle offerings. You can find out more or sign up at my website: Pleasure Project. 💋 If you’re feeling ready to join the conversation or have topics you want to hear more about, send Dr. Jenn Kennedy an email with questions and she may address it in a future newsletter or the Pleasure Project Podcast.

Dr. Jenn gives an introduction and overview for the podcast series.